Trader Joe's Neapolitan Joe-Joe's

When I first heard Neapolitan Joe-Joe's were a thing, I thought maybe there were chocolate Joe-Joe's, vanilla Joe-Joe's, and strawberry Joe-Joe's all in one package, kinda like the ice cream. But when I realized all three flavors were present in each Joe-Joe, I was even more curious. Which flavor would dominate? Wouldn't all three flavors be at odds with one another, kicking, biting, and scratching their way to beat the other two to your taste buds like a cutthroat free-for-all of flavors?

The short answer to that question is "no." They actually work together. But if you're wondering which flavor would have won that hypothetical miniature battle royale, I'll just go ahead and say in my humble opinion, strawberry would have. Strawberry creme. Heck yes. Sonia agrees.

Chocolate comes in second in this equation. I think that I, personally, might have enjoyed these cookies slightly more if they had gone with two vanilla cookies on either side of the strawberry creme and simply called them Trader Joe's Strawberry Joe-Joe's. That would have allowed the sweet, delicious strawberry flavor to shine even more. 

The chocolate cookie part of a sandwich cookie is usually not bad, but it rarely impresses me either. The chocolate cookies have a slightly more pungent taste than the vanilla cookies, but they blend well enough with the strawberry flavor that I didn't mind them much at all. After all, chocolate and strawberry is an excellent flavor combo.

We've tried a lot of Joe-Joe's and Joe-Joe derivatives throughout the years, and these are among the best. $2.99 for a pound of cookies. 3 rows of 11, all wrapped together in plastic and cellophane. I suppose it would add some cost and a little extra packaging, but individually wrapping each row might help keep some of the cookies fresher longer in case you're not planning on eating 33 cookies in one sitting—but for the sake of being "green" I guess we can put the remainder in ziplock baggies that we already have around the house. 

Double fours.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Creamy Polenta

Usually, when Sonia's home, she insists on doing the cooking. I'll admit, she's a little more skilled in the culinary arts than I am, but she's so adamant about always doing the kitchen stuff, I'm beginning to think she has serious doubts about my competence. I don't blame her.

For one, she always insists on washing the skillet thoroughly between each meal. But I always make the point that the remnants of the last meal simply yield "more flavor" in whatever's being prepared currently. She disagrees. She says that idea is "just a guy thing." From what we've heard from other couples, there's not much disagreement on that point.

Fortunately, for this meal, I was home alone and was left to run amok, unchecked by my better half and her pretentious ideas about culinary propriety. There were remnants of a makeshift stir-fry in the pan. I left it there. I mean, I took out the actual food—at first. But I left the remnants in there without washing anything. It was mostly bits of onion with a few shards of green bean and a thin coating of olive oil.

I'm sure this polenta would have been delightful without the onions, green beans, and olive oil, but I'm pretty sure they didn't hurt either. In fact, I liked them with the polenta so much, that I later mixed in the actual leftover stir-fry. Delish.

But I made sure to try the polenta by itself for the sake of this review. Thanks to reader Carissa E, who left a comment on this English muffin review from 2014 encouraging us to try this polenta. She says she'd give it an 11 out of 10. Sorry, Carissa. The scale only goes to 10. 

"These go to 11," right?

I must admit, it's pretty tasty, though. It's very creamy, as the name would suggest. When frozen, the "cream" comes in the form of large pellets that look like oversized white chocolate kisses. There's lots of spinach and plenty of carrot bits. The texture is indeed creamalicious. It's thicker than a soup, but still much more mushy than solid. The carrots didn't add a whole lot to the taste, but they lend a bit of substance to the otherwise porridge-like consistency.

It's got a savory flavor, with plenty of spinach taste to it. There's a buttery/milky flavor, as well. It's a nice comforting taste, with an almost homemade-quality to it. I agree with Carissa that it's much better than the Polenta Provencale. Sonia wishes there were a little more pepper and garlic seasoning in this dish, but was very happy with it other than that. It doesn't say gluten-free on the bag, but we're wondering why it wouldn't be. Cornmeal shouldn't have gluten, should it?

Four stars a piece here.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Waffle Cones and Trader Joe's Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream

We haven't crossed too terribly much off the family bucket list this summer, but one thing we've done without fail: go out to a different ice cream shop every week. And not a Coldstone or Baskin Robbins either, but an independent, roadside type place. Without fail...and it's been awesome.

But there's a problem. See, I like waffle cones, a lot. And the Good Lord, when I was born, decided to grace with a tremendous underbite that I have declined to ever get fixed. Surgically breaking and resetting a jaw and being subjected to a summer at home with Mom and Dad eating baby food during college when instead I could be off at campus didn't seem like fun. To help cover this up, and also because without it I look like a 14 year old with an hyperactive pituitary gland, I have grown a fairly large, bushy beard. The wife loves it and won't let me do more than an occasional trim.

As a result, between my wacky jaw and crazy beard, it's impossible for me to eat an ice cream neatly. I've tried all sorts of different techniques...nope. It cannot be done. My three year old is neater than me, and we usually have to hose her off. Strangers gasp. Kids stare. Napkins cringe. It's bad.

Fortunately, bettween Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Waffle Cones, and, say, Trader Joe Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream, I can contain my embarrassment at home.

Waffle cones at first. A good waffle cone, in of itself, is one of life's simple pleasures. Why settle for one of those styrofoam type deals...when you can get a waffle cone? These TJ cones are no exception. They're appropriately thick and sturdy, with enough space to amply hold a couple scoops. That's key. When bitten into, there's lots of crunch-and-munch-ability, with little chance of these guys getting soggy. But then there's an added bonus: there's a sweet, almost creamy, vanilla flavor shining through the batter that adds a really nice little touch. Really, these are pretty greta cones, and at $2.99 for a dozen, not a bad deal. Most ice cream shops charge what, an extra 50 cents (at least) for a waffle cone? These are 25 cents each! Nice!

As for the Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream...meh. It's decent ice cream, don't get me wrong. But chocolate by itself doesn't quite get my motor running. That being said, the TJ's chocolate ice cream is better than average chocolate. The cocoa flavor is rich with depth and is fairly potent, more than a typical chocolate. It's probably a good thing there aren't any mix-ins or added flavors as they would probably be overpowered. And from seeing how hard this ice cream freezes, it's made from good quality ingredients too. Lots of milk and cream and eggs and the like. In all, pretty good, even if it's not all my thing. If you're a chocoholic, though? You'll be all over this.

The waffle cones will be a summer staple, for sure. We do ice cream far more than we should at home...it's hot and we ahve no AC and get tired and cranky easily. Don't judge. As for the ice cream? It'll be in and out, I think. Neither Sandy nor I are huge fans but our kids sure are, and by God, if it'll help them eat anything other than mac and cheese for dinner, we're for it. Waffle cones earn near top marks, while the ultra chocolate ice crwam comes in a little behind.

Bottom lines: Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Waffle Cones: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons and Trader Joe;s Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Indian Fare Yellow Tadka Dal

For a few months in high school, I worked at my local Boston Market. It was an okay job - first and foremost, all the free cornbread I could ever want - but man, there's a few things that, close to twenty years later, kinda stick with me. Like the barrel of some sort of acid used to "clean" all the rotisserie skewers. Gross, hold your breath when walking by. Or how my assistant manager there regularly lit up while in the kitchen...during dinner rushes...while prepping food. That "smoked" turkey on the menu wasn't false advertising.

But another Boston Market memory came to mind while prepping Trader Joe's Indian Fare Yellow Tadka Dal. You think all the side dishes there were freshmade? Bahahahaha, that's hilarious.  Nah, all the mashed potatoes and green beans and mac n cheese and whatever else was bagged and either steamed or boiled before being brought out...

...which is exactly how I made this Indian dish, in only a slightly more traditional method than nuking in our microwave. I literally submerged the package, as shown, in a boiling pot of water to warm up this shelf-stable lentil stew-like dish. I guess it's only weird if it doesn't work.

The tadka dal certainly works, as far as my tongue can ascertain. I can't tell you how authentic it is or isn't, but I can tell you both Sandy and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tadka dal, if you're not familiar, is a fairly common spiced lentil dish in Indian cuisine. What we both enjoyed most was the warm, welcoming "glow" of the spices. I'm not sure how else to explain it. While somewhat spicy, it wasn't straight up heat, but there's not a complex depth to it either. It's not the same as other spices that you'd expect from, say, a tikka masala. Curry plays a part, but I'd wager on it being a bit heavy on the turmeric, which is just fine by me. You can see how yellow this stuff is.

The lentils are, well, lentil-like. What is there to really say about them? But they add earthiness and body to the creamy tomato broth base. There's enough lentils that it didn't even really seem all that tomato like, so that's a plus in Sandy's book. She might not even realize there were tomatoes in it until she reads this...I guess we'll find out. In any event, we both wish we had some naan to help get every last bit of the tadka dal into our belly.

Speaking of wishing for naan...the tadka dal is really more a side dish, or at least in need of something else to fill out to a full meal. We went cross-cultural with falaffels, but at least have some rice on hand to serve alongside.

Bringing one thing back: make note of the "creamy" aspect. Yup, sorry vegan lentil-lovers out there, there's milk in the ingredients here. From what I can tell from a quick Google search, many if not most tadka dal recipes can be or are vegan. So there's a potential knock.

For $1.99, we were happy. It's definitely repeat purchase-type material for us. If this TJ's tadka dal were a side dish or option at an Indian buffet, we'd be happy. Just get it out of the bag before bringing it out. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Indian Fare Yellow Tadka Dal: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Spinach & Kale Bites

Trader Joe's Spinach and Kale Bites are about the size of golf balls. I know because we've had a golf ball kicking around the house for the past few weeks. During a walk through a park near the Jersey Shore, our male dog, Alfred, discovered one. He picked it up, carried it with him, and has been inseparable from it since. At least a few times a day, he drops it at my feet, wanting me to throw it for him. It's a bit grass-stained from being tossed around on our freshly-mowed lawn so often, and it kind of resembles these little veggie appetizers. That same dog has an affinity for almost all green vegetables. He loves spinach, kale, lettuce, broccoli—pretty much anything we give him to try, but oddly, he was only moderately interested in these kale bites.

But this isn't a pet food review. This is a people food review. And the people in this house are fairly impressed with these little green appetizers.

The flavor isn't too far from that of creamed spinach or a cheesy spinach dip. There's a decent amount of parmesan cheese taste, but there's also a good bit of egg, yielding a flavor not unlike that of a frittata or quiche. There's a good vegetable-base to the taste, as well, but there's enough of the heavier stuff to keep it interesting as an appetizer. 

The texture is different, though. It's creamy and soft, but the whole "ball" is held in place with panko breadcrumbs. The spinach and kale are shredded into small pieces, so there's never a point when it tastes or feels like eating a salad. The overall vibe here is decidedly "snacky" or "hors d'oeuvrey."

Once again, the baking time went well over TJ's suggested instructions. I basically had to double the recommended time in the oven—and the product was MUCH better with more cooking, in my opinion. Apparently, this is a trend. There are a couple comments on my last post noting that others have observed the same thing: many Trader Joe's products wind up needing significantly more time in the oven than the packaging indicates. 

First world problems. What are you gonna do?

$3.99 for ten bites. Pretty standard. Sonia was quite enamored with the taste of these li'l buggers. Four and a half stars from her. I'll admit, they were tasty, but I don't think I'd buy them on the regular if it were just me. Still, a respectable score is in order. Three and a half stars from this guy.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Blue Cheese Stuffed Chalkidiki Olives

You've heard of the summer of love...this summer just might be the summer of olives here.

Years ago, if you would have told me that my lovely bride would like olives that weren't just of the canned and black variety, I would have laughed. That's just not what she did...along with many other foods.  Like meatloaf or steak or most red meats or Thai food or chili or pickles or most veggies or anything. I remember asking with trepidation when we were dating if it'd be okay if I made her chocolate chip cookies. I had a really picky girlfriend, apparently, which really adds to the confusion of why she ever picked me.

Now she loves all that stuff, pretty sure me as well, and when she does something like pick up some olives and other cool goodies off a grocery store salad bar to bring home for dinner, it's just not terribly surprising. We've done that a few times recently. The slightly pickled garlic cloves? Awesome! Time changes you, I guess.

Still, Sandy's pretty hesitant about Trader Joe's Blue Cheese Stuffed Chalkidiki Olives. She hasn't tried them, still kinda sticking to her claim that she doesn't like green olives.

I'll get her to, though. Oh I will. Unless I eat all of them first.

I've never heard of a "chalkidiki" olive before. Apparently they're named after a region of Greece and are basically just big and green. That's more or less how they taste as well - big and green, and perhaps a little firmer than the smaller, pimento stuffed olives I'm more accustomed to from growing up.

The creamy cheese filling is pretty delicious, too. Took me a second or thrid read when I noticed the lack of usual bleu cheese bite...but it's not "bleu" cheese, it's "blue" cheese." Well, whatever. It's soft and creamy, a lot  like cream cheese, and jives really well with the olive to make a cool, refreshing, salty snack or addition to antipasto platter.

And typing this I just realized the true appeal to me...

Growing up, on occasion, my mom would make us cream cheese and olive sandwiches. Maybe that sounds odd, but they're delicious. Granted, they were made with those aforementioned pimentoed olives and Philadelphia cream cheese, and the ingredients in these Greek-inspired TJ's olives are perhaps a little fancier than that. But there's still a familiar, yet fancier vibe. I dig it.

It's only a couple bucks for a huge jar. I think it's about $3 or $, but I've misplaced the receipt so I'm open to correction. It strikes me as a decent enough value, and something I hope we pick up on a regular basis this summer as we swelter through and hot dinners just don't sound as appetizing while living in a 100 year old, well insulated brick house with no AC. It's like a Thermos. Great in winter, but not right now. Unlike this olives...if it's the summer of olives, bring it on.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Blue Cheese Stuffed Chalkidiki Olives: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Mini Dark Chocolate Mint Coins

Is it okay to admit that I'm not fully understanding of the entire concept behind the new Trader Joe's Mini Dark Chocolate Mint Coins?

This much is easy to grasp: there's a direct, and fairly easy, comparison to be made between these cookies and the all time classic Girl Scout Thin Mints. As if the "chocolate covered chocolate mint cookie" isn't obvious by its lonesome, the TJ's packaging hones in by showing a campground, tents, a sing-along campfire song on the side (because why not)...and even a cut out "hibiscosity" merit badge of sorts. That's cool and all, I get it.

Seems like the word "coins" throws it all off though. Having never been a Girl Scout myself (and flaking out of Boy Scouts not long after making Tenderfoot class), I'm not aware of any connections between scouting and coins...I could be wrong and ignorant, and perhaps somewhat rationally so, but it seems a better name would be something like "badges" or "try-its" or even just plain "cookies."

Although on the other hand, I do somewhat get the coin label, as the cookies are about quarter sized in diameter, and they were minted at point of origin...it's a bit too confusing. Ayy.

Back to the Thin Mint deal. There's a lot of similarities between them and these TJ's chocolate mint discs, but I'll focus on the differences. First, the size. TJ's minty wafers are definitely smaller and perhaps a bit thicker. They also taste a little different...can I say "fudgier"? That's the word that comes to mind. It may be the darker variety of chocolate. There's also seemingly a small dent/reservoir of extra chocolate in the middle of the TJ's cookies that adds a slightly richer element. So while I'd say the two are close, I wouldn't say they're completely identical.

Although both are really good frozen, which is especially nice this time of year.

One knock: the packaging. Inside the TJ's box, these cookies are kept in a little plastic bag, as one would expoect. Thing is, the bag looks only half full. Listen, I get the "sold by weight, not by volume" and "some settling may occur" but it's like these are fragile cookies that got smashed into bits, freeing up previously filled space. Nah...instead, whether fair or not, the half baggie of coins gives the perception of getting shortchanged.

Regardless, these are pretty delicious cookies, as one would expect. At only a couple bucks, these coins won't set you back a lot of change. Glad to have scouted them out for you.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mini Dark Chocolate Mint Coins: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons  

Trader Joe's Peach Bellini Jam

It's the new PBJ that you put on your bread. No, not peanut butter & jelly. Peach Bellini Jam.

As you might have heard in the recent Repeat Customer podcast episode, it has real Prosecco wine in it...you know, like an actual peach bellini cocktail. Sonia and I had a friend back in California that made a mean peach bellini drink, with real peaches and a nice peach wine. I don't think I've ever had one at a bar or restaurant or anything like that, but Jenny, if you're reading this, know that I miss those peach bellinis.

This jam is full of pureed peach bits, giving it a nice fruit base, but it's closer to the texture of marmalade than that of the similarly-packaged and marketed Apple Cider Jam. It's sweet like a real peach, but honestly, I was pretty surprised at the lack of cloying, syrupy stickiness. It takes some restraint to make something this well-balanced, relying on the true flavors of the peaches and the wine, rather than just dumping loads of sugar in the jar and appealing to a consumer's sugar habit. Don't get me wrong, cane sugar is the number one ingredient—but it's just exactly as sweet as it's supposed to be, IMHO.

For you Puritans who steer clear of spirits, don't worry. There's just enough white wine flavor to be detected, but there's absolutely nothing to suggest even a hint of harsh alcohol taste in the product. 

It goes well with butter and bread, and you could probably use it as an ice cream topping, smoothie ingredient, basting sauce, and Trader Joe's website even suggests drizzling it "on a salad of summer greens." Neither Sonia nor I have many complaints. I'm cheap, and I have trouble justifying the purchase of a gourmet condiment that will possibly be gone in just a day or two, but $3.99 is a very reasonable price for a product with such high-quality ingredients. You do get what you pay for. And this product is just peachy.

Double fours on this one.

As a friend of mine used to say as he exited the room, "It's time to make like jelly and JAM."

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Rainbow Wrap

Taste the rainbow, friends. Other than Skittles, this is probably the most colorful thing I've eaten in a while. Actually, I haven't had Skittles in years. This might be one of the most colorful things I've eaten period. Let's see: we've got red beets, orange sweet potato, yellow hummus and chick peas, green spinach, and a purplish tortilla. What? No blue? No indigo?

Whether Roy G. Biv approves or not, this is a great lunch for a hot summer day. It feels and tastes fresh, and it won't weigh you down too much. There are plenty of savory and earthy flavors here, and the sweet potato lends just enough natural sugar to keep it interesting.

The beets weren't overly beety. They're not pickled, so they simply lend a bit of earthy crunch to the mix. The curried hummus was flavorful but not overbearing. The chick peas? I've mentioned how I feel about chick peas before. If anything, I'd just ask for more of 'em.

Sonia wanted the sweet potato chunks to be just a tad softer than they were. They were much firmer than either of us expected, but unlike my loving wife, I was okay with it. They were somewhere between the texture of a water chestnut and that of a chunk of regular potato in a potato salad. We both see why they might want them that way—the wrap may have seemed a tad "soggy" if the sweet potatoes had been too soft. As is, they provide a little body and texture, and contribute the most "meatiness" of any of the ingredients.

Granted, we had some other snacks along with it, but just this one wrap was enough for Sonia and I to share for lunch, and it was quite filling. We're eating less and less meat these days, and feeling better about it all the time. This vegan item is $4.49 at TJ's. Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Butter Spreads

Must be butter because we're on a roll.

Butter. What else can be said? Whether or not any of us really should, we all like butter in some way, shape or form. It's an essential ingredient, and makes almost anything taste better. I mean, dry toast? No thanks.

Flavored butter? Even better. So here we go with two new varieties, Trader Joe's Roasted Garlic & Herb Butter Spread, as well as Trader Joe's Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Butter Spread. One savory, one sweet. Life is good.

There's not much reinvention or novel interpretation here. It's butter...with stuff in it.

But man, both are good. Let's start with the roasted garlic and herb. There's a heavy hit of garlic right upfront, as one would expect, with both roasted and crushed garlic puree mixed right in. The overall creaminess mellows it out, though, and gives way to onion and basil and whatnot. That's really about it to the butter, but the applications, of course, are endless. It's garlicky enough to McGyver garlic bread if toasted with an appropriate loaf. Over noodles, rice, veggies, anything else...yup, that'd all work.

Much the same with the cinnamon sugar variety. "Cinnamon toast without the effort!" Sandy exclaimed. I'm...not really sure what effort she is referencing. Nonetheless, that's a great idea, although the idea of melting over some sweet potatoes is a pretty enticing idea. I'd say there seems to be more cinnamon than brown sugar, at least in the bites I've had, but the balance seems right. I mean, butter, sugar, cinnamon...there's no way this can be bad.

Both TJ's flavored butters are pretty decent, and for $2.49, not a bad price either. There's nothing too terribly extra special or "Trader Joe's-y" about them either, so I'm not going to rave too highly. Liking the ampersands in both product names, though - they seem to be making a comeback, and I fully support that effort. Fours all the way around for each.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Roasted Garlic & Herbs Butter Spread, and Trader Joe's Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Butter Spread: 8 out of 10 each

Trader Joe's Crunch Dried Honeycrisp Apples

Our sweetness streak continues with this applicious snack, but in this case, there's absolutely no added sugar, and you definitely can't say we're not getting some fruit in our diets...

I've had apple chips before, but none have been as sweet or as flavorful as these. The Fuji Apple Slices received less than a stellar score here on the blog, but I think this honeycrisp variety might work slightly better for people craving something a little more sweet and a bit less tart. 

They flaunt the same delicious honey-esque flavor of a honeycrisp apple. Very little is lost in the drying process. Obviously they lack the juiciness of a real apple, but taste-wise, I think they're remarkably close.

The largest apple slices were big enough to be called "chips," but as we neared the middle of our bag, the pieces were more like "shards" of apple. Toward the bottom, we found what I'd probably refer to as "bits" or "crumbs." They were pulverized, presumably in transit, to the point where they became difficult to eat. 

That's really my only complaint about this product: only the largest pieces could be called "slices" or "chips," and those were by far the best. Pouring a bag of apple dust into your mouth isn't nearly as convenient as snacking on dried fruit chips.

The texture is crunchy, crisp, and brittle. They're less rigid than, say, banana chips, but slightly firmer than other dried apple chips in my experience.

Who says you have to wait for fall apple harvest to enjoy apples? I'm pretty sure this product was just released this spring. Even in light of the shattered pieces, I'd buy this bag of dried apples again since it's tasty and not particularly fattening. Also, the "Best By" date on our bag is October 24, 2020. Might not be a bad idea to stock up in case that long overdue zombie apocalypse finally occurs.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies

Sorry, everyone...but apparently we're on a sugar high here. Nothing but desserty-esque goodness for review last week, and here we go again. It's a one way ticket to Diabeetusville here. Please see Wilfred Brimley for your box on your way out.

One of these days we'll go back to reviewing salads and some healthyish type kinda stuff like vegan cream cheese alternatives...but not today. Not when there's Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies to talk about.

Give me peanut butter, or give me death. I'm a total complete junky. I could go all Hurley from "Lost" on a jarful at any time...and cookies? Forget about it. I'm helpless here.

Really helps these are some most excellent pb cookies from TJ's.

These particular cartwheely confections are unlike most peanut butter cookies I've had. Instead of just fork smashed flavored batter with or without chips, the approach here is a literal resorvoir of nutty goodness. I mean, look at the pic. Yummm. It's good peanut butter too, though perhaps admittedly perhaps a bit closer to JIF than the real high quality stuff. Then again, it's a cookie, and at least it's creamy and not too dry or anything of that sort.

All of that is enveloped inside a real good, crumbly cookie. At first bite, I wasn't sure if the cookie straddled the sugar or shortbread side of the line at first before settling more towards sugar cookie. But it blends nicely with the peanut butter portion for a smooth, strong distinct pb taste.

Therein may lie my only suggestion, as it's not a complaint, per se. But TJ's cartwheels seem perhaps a little "one note" if you know what I mean. Something small to add maybe a little texture distinction, like a smattering of chopped peanuts, would be a welcome addition.

These will be a hit. Sandy and I are a bit sad that there's only nine cookies per box, as we both could smash them all in one sitting. As is, one of us will get five and the other four, assuming we can keep our kids out of them. Sharing cookies? Who does that? No one on this sugar train, for sure. Darn near perfect cookies.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies

Just earlier today, Sandy was saying she wished I wrote for an ice cream blog, like say On Second Scoop, just so we could have a valid excuse to have a neverending stockpile of ice cream on hand.

Me? I sure am happy for our little TJ's blog, because without it, I'd never have a great reason to pick up a sack of Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies.

But it doesn't stop there.

Nope, because if I never bought them, I'd never get the sneaking suspicion that were a lot like a more famous brand, like say Flamin' Hot Cheetos, but would be unsure as to the exact differences, and so purely in the best interests of my audience would also have to get those Flamin' Hots for direct comparision's sake. You know, for entertainment and science, and not just to mindlessly eat spicy cornmeal nuggets because yummmm.

See the pic here. I'm sorry, it's a sucky one, because I took it with my potato phone. On the left is the aforementioned FHC's, on the right is the newcomer TJ's. Visibly, they're different - the Flamers are decidedly more red and fierce looking. Must be all those artifical colors noticeably absent from the Trader Joe's spicy crunchers...score one for TJ's.

Once popped in the ol' snack hole, there's a few other fairly small differences. The spicy cheese crunchers from TJ's are a tad bit drier, it seems, from their Cheetos counterparts. There's a smidge less grease to them. This leads me to believe that the TJ's brand is baked as opposed to fried like Cheetos, and seeing that TJ's has 40 less calories and 5 grams less fat per identical 28 gram serving, I may be on to something.

But really, taste. That's what it all comes down to. Which one's better? It's...tough to say. The Cheetos seem more focused on vibrant spice and heat (if not a little on the vinegary side) whereas the TJ's is...different. Maybe slightly more cheesy. Maybe slightly less hot and more range of flavor (like garlic, turmeric, etc). Maybe, as Sandy said, more of a "tomatoey" flavor, by which neither one of us is precisely sure what she means, but there's something to it. In all, it's kinda subtle.

My three year old loves the TJ's spicy cheese crunchers. She'd melt after one Flamin' Hot Cheeto. So, there's that.

Anyways, if totally junky kinda grub like this is your kinda thing, grab a bag of the TJ's crunchies for only a couple bucks. I wouldn't proclaim them as "healhty" but they are "healthier" than the competition, and are of approximate quality. Admittedly and somewhat ashamedly I kinda like them both...slight edge to TJ's. Thanks for allowing me to eat these, my adoring fans!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Blueberry Lavender Flavored Almond Beverage

Our house is over 100 years old.

On the exterior, it's all brick, and on the inside it's all drywall or plaster. For years and years, nearly a century, that's all there was, until Sandy and I moved in. Our first winter was frigid cold with arctic wind blowing right thru the walls. I'm not joking.

So we got an insulation job done, whole house, spray in type stuff. Our heating bill has been cut by two-thirds. It's awesome...but there's a flipside.

It's summer, or at least getting there. We have no AC, and with our Therm/os-fied house, once heat gets in, it stays in. It's not uncommon for it to be cooler outside the house than inside, and even with open windows and fans, only so much can be done. Next few months are gonna be extra sticky.

So, naturally, let's get a nice refreshing glass of milk. Ron Burgundy cringes.

But in the case of Trader Joe's Blueberry Lavender Flavored Almond Beverage, it kinda works.

Sandy and I are not big milk drinkers, dairy or nut alternative. We're just not. Our kids are another story. But there's just something tasty and appealing about this kinda almond milk. Just sounds good, doesn't it?

Blueberry is definitely the predominant flavor. It's fairly natutral-ish, though. There's no excessive sickeningly sweet added sugar that artifically ramps up the flavor in this TJ's blueberry almond milk...nah, just a small touch of blueberry that plays well off the natural nuttiness of the milk. I don't taste much lavender, though. There really tastes to be not much more than a small, small touch, if even that. Maybe my tastebuds aren't quite senstive enough, or perhaps I'm a bit clueless, but there doesn't seem to be much there, which is my only real knock.

The consistency of the berry almond milk is much like any other almond beverage - thre word "chalky" comes to mind. "Smooth" and "creamy" are definite overstatements in my opinion...I mean, it's not gritty by any means but there's a certain slight chunkiness to it that takes getting used to if not accustomed to it, as with any other nut beverage.

Blending some up with ice and yogurt for a smoothie sounds fantastic. Adding much else, even a banana, would probably overpower a lot of the subtle berry flavor.

We let our kids have some straight up. M, our almost six year old, immediately exclaimed "Oooo this is yummy!" and prompty gave it 10 Golden Spoons. She's well trained. B, our three year old, smiled happily and made her own big "mmmm" before saying it was good for "5 Golden Spoons, then a lot." That sounds pretty postive. Sandy also exclaimed it was a hit, making it very popular in our hot, hot house. I'll defer mostly to the ladies here, while adding I'm glad it's only $2 for the quart as I'm sure it'll be a repeat buy.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Blueberry Lavender Flavored Almond Beverage: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices

I'm a guy in his mid-30's, but I'll freely admit it: I like my emojis. I won't go too overboard with them, I don't think. I mean, I'm not going to try and write the rest of this review using just them, or narrate my day, or do whatever else kids do with them these days, but I'll let them slip into my every day text conversations with my wife, in my emails and whatnot.

One thing I don't like, though, is how sometimes they don't technologically translate across different platforms. Take, for instance, when Sandy sent me an email from her iPhone to my work email stating she had just tried Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices for the first time. What I got on my side, on some old Windows platform in Outlook (I'm not even sure if it's XP) was this grim-looking dull face with large eyes that were maybe crying, maybe horrified, or just getting poofy after being stung by a bee. Not sure what it was at all, but I took it as something bad, which to me wouldn't be unexpected after trying a sour mummified citric corpse slice, peel and all.

Nope. It was the hearts for eyes, big smile deal. As in, totally in love.

I'm not entirely sure that's my instinctive reaction, but I think I can muster a thumbs up overall. The package front of these zombie lemon discs say they are "moist" and "sweet." Those don't seem like entirely accurate descriptors to me. These TJ lemon slices are definitely dried out, with nary a drop of anything to be squeezed out. Robert Plant would probably be proud. But when biting through, there's still a softness and certain gumminess to them, that makes seem almost like candy. The candy vibe is kinda picked up by the added sugar which seems to accent the natural lemon flavor without going too overboard and getting too cloy.

What's kinda missing is the big, tart, citrusy bite one would expect from a lemon. Maybe that's contained more or less in the absent juice. Then again, these are fairly snackable as is, and could have multiple applications that a stronger flavor may not have. I could just as easily see these lemon slices as a garnish for a dessert - something creamy and/or had a fair amount of frosting comes to mind - as I could for simple summer salads, and maybe dishes like grilled chicken and veggies as well.

It's a decent sized package and seems a good value at about $3 for the bag. There's plenty to go around in there. These will be probably be a summer-long repeat-buy. Kinda can't wait to try them alongside some iced tea. So, perhaps in short: 🏜️🍋🔪😃👍 💵. Now it's just ⏰ for the 🥄s.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Mint Watermelon Flavored Black Tea

Nothing says middle aged suburban peer pressure in the spring and summer than the distant drone of a lawnmower. If the neighbor's yard is mowed, yours has gotta be too. Once you hear one, you'll hear at least three more, guaranteed, in the next hour.

I literally have not had a chance to mow mine all spring long - too cold, too wet, too busy, too something - until this past Wednesday night. Yeah, it was so bad I had to attack it midweek, after work, before dinner. Kept losing the dog in the thicket. And of course, all my neighbors had already, so mine I was busting it out as quick as I could, pushing thru kneehigh grass, raking, sweating, feeling gross, had to get done before it got too late, with storms threatening to roll in so extra humid...ugh.

Fortunately, Sandy made a fresh batch of iced Trader Joe's Mint Watermelon Flavored Black Tea earlier that afternoon. Doesn't that sound like summer in a glass? And my longstanding "refreshment benchmark" is how cooling and pleasant a beverage is once I'm done mowing the lawn, so here was a perfect chance.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

"Mint" and "watermelon" do not sound like natural flavor bedfellows to me. I hold both flavors in close to equal regard...but together? Potential chocolate gum theory application here. But nah, it works. Seems to me it's because both flavors are a very light, natural kinda of flavor, at least when unsweetened. The mint could have been bubblegummy, the watermelon could have been Kool Aid-y, but nope. Just light and crisp, with both flavors about equally present and wellbalanced, while backed by the usual steeped tinge of black tea.

This tea is some pretty good stuff. There's no sticky-sweet aftertaste, no artifical sugar crud, nothing along those lines at all. And yet I feel no need to guzzle it either. A good glassful is about all that's really needed.

Sandy and I didn't try it hot. We probably won't until temps are on the way down, not the way up. My instinct is that it wouldn't be as good as a steamy mug, but I've been wrong. You tell me if I'm wrong.

Count us as fans. Here's one tea worthy of a neighborhood-wide buzz.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mint Watermelon Flavored Black Tea: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Just a Handful of Olives Pitted Salted Manzanilla Olives

Ah, it's springtime, and the forsythias are blooming again. Who knew forsythia bushes yielded green olives? Not this guy, that's for sure. Fun fact: they don't actually. But we put these manzanillas there anyway, because, you know...pretty picture.

I hablo enough of the Español to know that "manzana" means "apple." So I figured "manzanilla" might mean apple...something or other. Applicious? Probably not if they're salted. I didn't really think that one through.

Actually, "manzanilla" translates to "chamomile." Do these happy, snackable olives taste like chamomile? You'll just have to watch our short video review to find out.



Closing thoughts: are olives fruits or vegetables? Technically, they're fruits, but for culinary purposes, they're treated as veggies, so I tagged them as both. 4.5 from Sonia. 4 from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's 4 Authentic Belgian Waffles

What's your breakfasty carb of choice?

Speaking solely for myself, it's gotta be potattoes. Hashbrowns are king. But sweet potatoes mixed in with some eggs, cheese and salsa...mmm.

But for my fam as a whole? Undoubtably it's waffles. A freezer waffle on the go is a busy weekday morning breakfast of choice for our kiddos. There's a place within easy walking distance of our house that started a weekly waffle brunch every Saturday, and if we're in town, we're there. My brother and his wife even throw a fancy homemade "Wafflepalooza" every year complete with mountains of almost every kind of homemade waffle and topping imaginable.

So...we know our waffles.

And of course, waffles aren't just for breakfast anyways. Like with what we did with Trader Joe's 4 Authentic Belgian Waffles when we used them as a base for an open faced ham/cheese/egg sandwich for dinner. Okay, that's like breakfast for dinner, so kinda cheating...but nah.

Perhaps this is just recency bias, as we almost literally just ate them, but I cannot think of a better frozen waffle I've had in quite some time. These Beglain boys are a bit thick to fit in our toaster, so instead Sandy heated them up in our oven for a few minutes, which of course worked just as well if not even better. The outcome: hefty, square doughy grids with a crisp outer shell giving way to a warm, almost creamy interior. There's a slight sweetness to the batter which plays well with the buttery aspects. Really, it's a surprisingly decent Belgian waffle, and although a serving says two waffles, really one is reasonably enough.

And there's no way to argue it's not an authentic Belgian waffle either. They're right from Belgium, not some Belgian style imposter by way of Vancouver or something silly.

 Sandy and I were pleasantly surprised by how overall decent these waffles were. And remember: we're waffle people. Our two little waffle experts weren't as impressed, though. Might have something to do with the rest of dinner (eggs are give or take) or whatever...I'm sure if we scooped ice cream atop or covered with fruit and whipped cream or did any number of other tasty waffle options that they'd be much more amenable.

These are worthy waffles to be freezer staples. Can't believe we've not had them til now. Deeeee-lish.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's 4 Authentic Belgian Waffles: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons  

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p.s. Perhaps appropriate this week while also on the topic of waffles. 

Trader Joe's Garlic Spread Dip

"Garlic ambrosia."

That's how reader Justine described this spread.

No, not fruit salad with marshmallows, ambrosia. Ambrosia, as in the food of the gods, ambrosia. Lemme tell ya, she's not wrong. And, as reader DogMaTX pointed out, it's very similar—if not identical—to the garlic spread from Zankou Chicken. Thanks to both of you for the heads up on this product. I feel like at least one other reader brought this to our attention on our Facebook page, as well.

It's a creamy, smooth condiment that spreads like mayo or cream cheese. I'd say the texture is right in between those two, in fact: slightly thicker than mayo, slightly thinner than cream cheese.

And it doesn't fail in the flavor department either. It's garlicky—very garlicky, but simultaneously not overpowering somehow. Where raw garlic brings a heavy staccato "punch" of garlic flavor, this spread causes a gentle "wave" of garlic to wash over your tongue. It's just as powerful, but there's a little bit more of that "mmmm" factor and a wee bit less of that "whoa!" effect.

It's strong enough that you don't need to use a ton on your food, but at the same time, if you do choose to slather it on in great quantity, it still enhances the other flavors and doesn't bury them completely. We had it with tuna sandwiches, pizza, and falafel. I know it will go well with chips, chicken, fish, and other Mediterranean dishes, too. Can't wait to experiment with it. It's a fine addition to TJ's legacy of delicious condiments.

$2.99 for the tub. Vegan. Four and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.