Trader Joe's Wicked Good Mini Chocolate Bars

I think this is the fourth year in a row Trader Joe's has offered these Wicked Good Mini Chocolate Bars leading up to Halloween time. But this is the first year Sonia and I managed to get our hands on a bag. They've been sold out every single time we've tried to get them for the past three years. Finally, we're fortunate enough to try them.

They're a product of Germany. Those Deutsch folks really know their chocolate. Just ask Üter Zörker. I assume these candy bars come from the same chocolatier that gave us Trader Joe's Teensy Candy Bars. Let's break down the bag by each of the four different types of confections you'll find within.

First up, the yellow wrapper. It's the nougat chocolate bar. Just smooth, soft, sweet nougat surrounded by milk chocolate. It's the simplest of the bars and it's pretty good. To quote Radiohead, "no alarms and no surprises" is exactly how I feel about this offering. Basically a German Three Musketeers.

Next, let's look at the nougat & caramel chocolate bar in the purple package. True to the name, this bar contains...you guessed it: nougat, caramel, and chocolate. It's exactly like the previous bar but with caramel thrown into the mix. It's most similar to a Milky Way bar if we're talking American classics. For reasons I can't really articulate, I think I like these first two bars just a tad more than their name brand counterparts.

Moving along, it's time for the caramel & wafer chocolate bar in the black. If the other three bars in this collection are treats, then this one is the trick. Why? It's oddly large and oddly hard. The wafers here are extremely rigid. Sonia and I both found it quite difficult to bite into and chew. There's nothing wrong with the flavor. Looks like the wafers are made of wheat (and corn?) but I feel like crisp rice might have yielded something with a much more pleasant mouthfeel. We actually cut this one into four or five smaller bites with a sharp knife in order to eat it. This one is our least favorite just because of the hard texture. There's no exact match as far as American candy bars are concerned, at least as far as I can tell. Drop a comment if you think there's a name brand selection that's comparable.

Let's end on a positive note: the peanut & caramel chocolate bar in the blue wrapper. It's quite similar to the aforementioned Teensy Candy Bars which are, in turn, quite similar to classic Snickers bars. I think Zero is my favorite candy bar of all time, but if we're talking milk chocolate, then I might go with Snickers. Once again, this German knockoff is at least as good as the name brand. It's sweet, peanutty, and packed with creamy caramel. This one is our favorite by a good margin.

$4.99 for the 14.7 oz bag containing approximately 24 miniature candy bars. Product of Germany. Would possibly buy again. They'd be fun to give out to kids at Halloween. I really wish that wafer bar were easier to bite into. I think I'd go for the Teensy Candy Bars again before Trader Joe's Wicked Good Mini Chocolate Bars. The yellow and purple wrappers are a tad boring after a while, so the blue ones with peanuts are really the only ones I'm ever craving with any regularity. Still, this is a quality product for a reasonable price. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia. Seven and a half stars from me.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Flan

This is another thing that just didn't need pumpkinized. I guess we can't blame Trader Joe's for that since flan de calabaza is a thing in certain parts of Latin America, despite neither Sonia nor I being aware of its existence until this autumnal oddity came along. The texture is nearly identical to Trader Joe's Caramel Flan: soft, smooth, creamy, custard-esque. No complaints there.

Flavor-wise, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Flan is a pandemonium of pumpkin and pumpkin spice—a flandemonium, if you will. There's an off-putting aftertaste that really bugged Sonia. The spice blend is almost like potpourri. It's not subtle enough. There's an odd clove essence that just lingers long after you've finished your dish.

Furthermore, I actually taste the pumpkin puree. And by that, I mean I taste it too much. In my experience, good flan just doesn't need winter squash mixed into it.

For those of you who are new here, let's review. Sonia, the beautiful wifey or "la esposita bonita," is Latina and grew up with flan from a very young age. In fact, she can even make her own. While familiar with the dessert, I'm far from an expert, but we both gave Trader Joe's Caramel Flan the thumbs up with matching eight and a half star scores. We were both very pleasantly surprised.

That neutral, sweet caramel flavor is one of the things that made it so good—so much cleaner on the palate. So much safer. So much better executed.

Again, the texture here is very pleasant. The presentation is delightful. The ingredients list is top-notch and above board. Apparently pumpkin flan is widely recognized as a traditional holiday dessert in other parts of Latin America like Cuba and Puerto Rico, however, it's less common in Mexico. As Sonia puts it, "There's a reason nobody in my family ever made flan de calabaza." Perhaps it's just an acquired taste that neither of us has acquired yet.

$3.49 for two servings of pumpkin-flavored dessert found in the refrigerated section. In my opinion, there's just absolutely no reason to purchase this if the caramel flan is available. Feel free to disagree in the comments below. Six and a half stars from Sonia. Six out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Pumpkin Flan.

Bottom line: 6.25 out of 10.