Trader Joe's Uncured Turkey Bacon

The texture of this turkey bacon is the star of the show here. It might be the best textured bacon I've ever had. It's "meatier" than your typical turkey bacon, it's thick, and it's decidedly not greasy.

You can still get the bacon nice and crispy if that's the way you like it. I don't like my bacon super charred or overly crispy. I like it just a tad chewy and somewhat soft. This product is perfect for that.

I wish I could be just as positive about the taste. Unfortunately, it's a little on the bland side. I've had turkey bacon that's delicious and succulent, but this one is lacking in that department by my reckoning. Sonia agrees, though she's not as displeased as I am. There's very little in the way of "hardwood smoked" flavor, too.

We're fans of Jennie-O turkey bacon. That brand uses white and dark meat in their product, while this one only uses turkey thighs. I'm on record more than once stating that I greatly prefer white meat poultry over dark meat, so that could be at least part of the problem.

Still, if you're making an egg sandwich or a BLT or something along those lines, you've got cheese or mayo and multiple other ingredients picking up the slack that might be left by not-so-flavorful turkey bacon, and there's nothing offensive about the taste either, so we won't shaft it too badly in the score department. Plus, it's got that amazing texture...

$3.99 for eight slices of bacon. Would buy again. We'll go with seven and a half out of ten in the end.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sparkling Tea & Lemonade and Trader Joe's Sparkling Matcha Lemonade

Some of you youngsters may be unaware, but there was a famous golfer in the 1960s named Arnold Palmer that popularized mixing iced tea and lemonade. At some point, they just started calling the mixture by his name and even folks like me who never watched golf and are way too young to remember him in his heyday would occasionally order "an Arnold Palmer" at restaurants and such. Folks that grew up in the 80s and 90s might remember him from ESPN and Pennzoil commercials. He was still a household name even if you didn't pay much attention to golf. But yeah. Lemonade and iced tea = Arnold Palmer.

I mean, it is an outstanding combo. Now matcha and lemonade? That seems a little weird to me, but hey, I'm game for a sip or two. I'll try just about anything once. Sonia is a little more into matcha and green tea than I am, and she thinks matcha lemonade sounds pretty enticing.

<tries product, shoots video>

Shockingly, the beautiful wifey likes the black tea and lemonade combo a little more than she likes the matcha tea and lemonade combo. I like them both about the same, to be honest. Neither are particularly syrupy or sugary. I mean, they're a tad sweet, but they're also a tad tart and tea-ish. The carbonation is a nice addition. That's one thing a traditional Arnold Palmer never had: fizz. I always enjoy fizz.

Refreshing? Yes. A bit of caffeine in the tea part of the beverage? I would think so. Excessive sugar? Nope. Just 80 calories per 12 oz can.

I think I like sparkling juice beverages better than these tea and lemonade dealies in the end. Sonia thinks they have their place. She'd consider a repurchase, particularly of Trader Joe's Sparkling Tea & Lemonade.

$1.99 for each individual can. Not sure if they sell a 4-pack or not. Trader Joe's Sparkling Matcha Lemonade is showing "not available" on traderjoes.com as of the time of writing this post, but its counterpart is alive and well. I'll go with seven stars a piece for both tea and lemonade beverages. Sonia will throw out seven and a half stars for the matcha drink and an even eight for the black tea version. Our scores are still close enough that we'll just average out the points.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sparkling Matcha Lemonade: 7.25 out of 10.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sparkling Tea & Lemonade: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Strawberry Fields Gummy Candy

Well, the title of this product is clearly a reference to the famous Beatles song. Strawberry fields forever, indeed. Do these gummy candies taste like a field of strawberries? Sorta.

You get a nice whiff of sweet strawberry upon tearing open the plastic bag. It's not overwhelming, but it is distinctly strawberry-ish. You'll note that the ingredients list makes no mention of "strawberries" or "strawberry puree" or anything like that. The closest we'll get is "natural flavors." Shoot. That could be just about anything. I think they need to pass a law that forces companies to list said "natural flavors." I mean bugs could be considered "natural flavors," right? I'm not saying that's what they used here, but I mean...who really knows?

Flavor-wise, they're similar to the way they smell. They taste like a sugary strawberry candy. Both Sonia and I want them to taste more like actual strawberry. I guess we wanted something that was made with strawberry puree or something like that. I mean, the Strawberry Doodle Cookies had strawberry puree in them, and we loved those...

There are two distinct shapes/sizes of the candy. They both taste more or less the same, but I feel like the larger pieces are a tad softer and squishier than their tiny counterparts. The texture on these candies is well above par, particularly those big strawberries.

Sonia is always pining for good sour candy. She wishes there were a truly sour version of these gummies. I mean, there is a faint tartness in them in the same way real strawberries can be somewhat tart, but by and large, these are simply sweet and sugary.

$2.29 for the non-resealable 7.05 oz bag. Product of France. Summer seasonal product. They're not bad, but we probably wouldn't buy again if they come back next year. Seven out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Strawberry Fields Gummy Candy.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brioche Style Liège Waffles

These waffles are individually wrapped in cellophane. I didn't see that coming. I figured they'd all be sitting in a plastic tray. They're fairly soft and moist and I guess the individual wrapping is meant to keep them that way.

You can eat them straight from the wrapper in the manner of a cookie, or you can remove them from their packaging, toss them into the toaster, add a bit of syrup or what have you, and eat them like miniature waffles. We've tried them both ways and both are pretty tasty. 

Of course the convenience factor is a little higher when you're just snacking on them out of the little baggie, but the indulgence factor is higher when you heat them and add some fixins. We're eager to try them with some vanilla ice cream on top.

They're a tad sticky. I guess it's the "pearl sugar" on them. They're also a bit oily and buttery, too, even before adding any toppings—they do indeed contain both egg and butter. They're nice and sweet, dense and slightly chewy.

The waffles are shelf stable for a couple months. They do come with a "best by" sticker despite being individually wrapped. They'd probably just get a little stale if you let them hang around too long, but for most of you, that won't be a problem.

$3.99 for six waffles, imported from Belgium. Pretty good value. Would probably buy again. Sonia will go with eight out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Brioche Style Liège Waffles with Pearl Sugar. I'll throw out seven and a half stars.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Roasted Tomato Labneh Dip

Do they call it "labneh" because it's grown in a lab? There's quite a list of live active cultures there on the ingredients. My favorite is "streptococcus." But no worries. It's streptococcus thermophilus, which is a probiotic that's "generally recognized as safe," according to Gemini. Phew. I thought I was going to get a sore throat from eating this...

Despite our fondness for Mediterranean cuisine, neither Sonia nor I had ever tried labneh before, so we can't really speak to the authenticity of this particular offering. It's a thick dairy product popular in the food cultures of North Africa and the Middle East. It's not a far cry from Greek yogurt or sour cream in terms of taste and texture, and it's often mixed with olive oil and spices.

This particular specimen has sunflower and canola oils (boo) mixed in, along with a delightful blend of seasonings. In terms of overall flavor, Sonia and I taste the yogurt flavor the most, followed by roasted tomato, then dill and garlic. There are faint whispers of vinegar and mint, as well. It's tangy, creamy, and herbaceous—and it mixes well with pretty much any Middle Eastern dish. Falafel, chicken shawarma, kebabs, fish, or pita and hummus would all work remarkably well with Trader Joe's Labneh.

I was perfectly fine snacking on this labneh with little pita bites or crackers, although it shines even more when served as a topping for one of the entrees named above. It's surprisingly thick. Both dippable and spreadable, it's a versatile condiment that we're eager to experiment with. I'm anxious to try other versions from local Mediterranean restaurants.

$3.49 for the 8.5 oz tub, found in the refrigerated section. Would possibly buy again. Eight out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Roasted Tomato Labneh Dip. Seven out of ten stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Rolled Oats & Chocolate Chips Fiberful Granola Bars

Let's face it: granola bars are boring. Ones that advertise how much fiber content they have are even more boring. Sure, there's always some mention of peanut butter or chocolate or honey or something else to make them sound moderately exciting, but in the end, they're rarely memorable or tasty enough that they can truly compete with a full-fledged candy bar.

That said, Trader Joe's granola bars are rarely awful. We've seen our fair share over the past decade and a half on this blog—in the ballpark of a few dozen different varieties, at a quick glance. Just off the top of my head, one of the few truly notable selections would be the ABC Bars. I'm pretty sure they're still available. We've definitely purchased those more than once. We're on the hunt for another product along those lines: something healthy, hearty, convenient, and tasty enough that it'll keep you from reaching for anything more indulgent or diet-derailing.

Trader Joe's Rolled Oats & Chocolate Chips Fiberful Granola Bars are not only filling, but they taste surprisingly good, too. They're dense, chewy, and rather than tasting like cardboard with a few chocolate pieces tossed in as an afterthought, they're more like chocolate bars with just a faint grittiness to them that attests to their fiber content. Apparently, they were recently reformulated by the supplier and are now smaller than their predecessors and have a slightly different taste. Many say they prefer the old flavor, others say they enjoy the new version more. I couldn't tell you because I never tried the old formula.

There's plenty of oats in the mix. If you're not a fan of oats, you might wanna sit this one out. But really, as far as fiber-rich snacks go, these are quite palatable. Boasting nearly a third of your daily fiber intake in each bar, they're just as filling as you'd expect them to be. These are ideal as a mid-day pick-me-up type snack.

$2.99 for five bars. Kosher. Would buy again. Seven and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Fiberful Granola Bars, Rolled Oats and Chocolate Chip flavor. Let us know if you tried the old formula and how you like this one in comparison.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Chinola Passion Fruit Liqueur

Neither Sonia nor I are super fond of heavy, syrupy liqueurs like this one by themselves, but as mixers, they can be interesting. Like the bottle suggests, this beverage is bursting with the flavor of passion fruit. It's very sweet and slightly tart, fairly thick yet velvety smooth and devoid of actual fruit pieces like your typical fruit nectar.

And let me tell ya', those Dominicans love their fruit nectars. I had a chance to visit the country on a mission trip in the early 2000s. We helped a little fishing village on the southern coast build a cinder block church on a concrete foundation. I sweated out what must have been about half my body weight each and every day down there. In addition to chugging obscene amounts of bottled water, I sampled these little white boxes full of fruit nectars including peach, pear, pineapple, and yes, even passion fruit. Somehow they were much more delicious than the fruit juices we typically find here in the US.

It wasn't particularly en vogue for the Christian missionaries to slip out of the bunkhouse to sample the local liquors, but if I'd been so bold, I might have discovered a Dominican rum or two back then. Chinola wasn't even founded until 2014, so I still would have missed out on the joy of passion fruit liqueur.

It's not bad on the rocks, but it's still quite syrupy sweet and thick. Mixed with a bit of rum and banana liqueur, it makes a delightful cocktail. It blends quite well with gin, as well. Sonia even enjoyed it mixed with actual banana and yogurt as a slightly spiked smoothie.

$25.99 for the 750 mL bottle. 21% alcohol by volume. Product of the Dominican Republic. Sold at Trader Joe's but not exclusively at Trader Joe's. Might buy again for a specific drink recipe. Sonia and I will go with seven and a half out of ten stars for Chinola Passion Fruit Liqueur.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Coffee Granola

So numerous readers and viewers mentioned this product when I posted my review of Trader Joe's Vanilla Almond Granola a couple weeks ago. I try not to look at two cereals so close together, let alone two fancy granola cereals, but hey, Trader Joe's has discontinued half of the other products I had on deck for review, so we've got slim pickings if we want to look at something that is currently relevant. I've heard only good things, so I'm excited to try it. Sonia, the coffee connoisseur, is also quite eager to taste test a bowl.

It's a rich, dark flavor—nearly equal parts coffee and dark chocolate. The cereal contains both cocoa powder and dark chocolate in the ingredients. Coffee extract appears further down the list but it's potent enough to shine through all the other elements. It's surprisingly not sweet to my tongue, but still quite pleasant overall.

Predictably, Sonia really enjoys it. She prefers this over the vanilla granola and most other Trader Joe's granola flavors. I like it about the same as the vanilla one, but I'm not hating on this flavor at all. On the contrary, I think most adults who appreciate the flavors of coffee and dark chocolate would gravitate to this option over the vanilla almond granola and most other cereal products at Trader Joe's or anywhere else.

The milk left at the end of the bowl is quite tasty, taking on whispers of both coffee and chocolate. Of course, it's a much lighter, creamier flavor than the cereal, but I find it even more appealing than the granola itself. Sonia is eager to try this product on yogurt or ice cream.

$3.99 for the 12 oz resealable bag. Kosher. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia. Seven and a half out of ten from me for Trader Joe's Chocolate Coffee Flavored Granola.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Oatmeal Cookies with Sea Salt

Why does Trader Joe's hate soft cookies? We've reviewed obscene amounts of cookies on this blog and very few have been truly soft and chewy. I mean, it is possible to make non-crispy pre-packaged cookies. Just ask Keebler and Nabisco.

That said, we keep buying their crispy cookies because once in a while there's a product that breaks the norm and impresses us. The most recent example of that would probably be the seasonal Italian Amaretti Cookies. They kinda need to be dunked to be amazing, but they're really freaking unique and tasty when served with java.

I think dunking improves any crunchy cookies, honestly. Whether it's coffee, hot cocoa, or just plain milk, dunking makes crispy cookies softer and often wakes up their flavors a bit, too. These oatmeal rounds are no exception.

Sonia and I both thought the sea salt concept was a little weird, but I mean "salty and sweet" is a thing, and if you like that combo...well, that's what we have here. You can taste the salt for sure, but it's not totally overbearing. If you dunk the cookie in coffee, the flavor of the beverage tends to overpower the saltiness.

All in all, this isn't a terrible product to nibble on here and there, but it doesn't do anything super special in our opinions. I would eat these again if they magically appeared in our pantry, but I wouldn't go out of my way to pick them up a second time.

$3.99 for the 7 oz box. Sonia will throw out seven and a half stars. I'll go with six and a half for Trader Joe's Crispy Oatmeal Cookies with Sea Salt.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Just the Clusters Vanilla Almond Granola

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But what if I eat cereal in the afternoon or a Pop-Tart after midnight? Those are breakfast foods, but I often eat them at not-so-breakfasty times. If I eat steak at 6:30 in the morning, is that still my most important meal of the day? Or do I need to consume it as "part of a complete breakfast" with juice, toast, and milk? If I purchase an Egg McMuffin at 11am and eat it at noon, does that count as breakfast or lunch?

The answers to these questions and more...are definitely not in this food review. But what I will tell you is that this cereal tastes good, provided you're a fan of vanilla, granola, and almonds. It's crunchy, clustery, and filling. It's sweet but not too sweet. Sonia likes it with yogurt. Bonus: the bag is resealable.

The nuts are just slivers. I wouldn't have minded bigger almond chunks and more of them. Some of the granola clusters are too big. Also, canola oil is the third ingredient—even higher than rice flour. It's "expeller pressed canola oil" if that makes a difference. I'll let you tell me if it does or not.

$3.79 for the eight serving bag. I could be wrong, but I think this product was only $3.29 a couple years back. Also, Sonia thinks it tasted more like vanilla before this most recent repackaging. Oh well. Seven and a half out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Just the Clusters Vanilla Almond Granola. Seven out of ten from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's European Grains & Seeds Bread

I'm particularly fascinated with the cuisines and cultures of the nationalities that I'm descended from. And while I'm not properly Danish at all, those Viking folks had their way with my English and Scottish ancestors back in the day, so I most likely have some of that Scandinavian blood coursing through my veins. Will that influence my score on this product? Probably not. I think I stay pretty objective regardless of a product's origins.

You'll pay $3.49 for what appears to be a half a loaf of bread, imported from Denmark. I'm hearing that it is indeed very similar to a type of bread that's common in northern Europe and Germany, so it's fairly authentic according to European folks.

Apparently there was a very popular European style bread at Trader Joe's some years back and then it underwent the typical disappearing act. Don't think we ever tried that one, so unfortunately we don't really have anything to compare this to directly.

Trader Joe's European Grains & Seeds Bread has sourdough, rye, and wheat flours in the mix. There are sunflower seeds and flaxseeds, too. The overall effect is nutty and lightly sweet, yet somehow sour and earthy at the same time. Sonia and I are both surprised at the density of the bread. It's quite thinly sliced as it states on the wrapper, so the density and thinness sort of cancel each other out, if that makes sense.

I mainly just enjoyed it toasted with some butter, but we tried it with the avocado mash, cream cheese, and as a base for turkey sandwiches. It's more filling and flavorful than regular white bread, but the unusual taste may be off-putting to some American palates.

Would we buy Trader Joe's European Grains & Seeds Bread again? I wouldn't rule it out, but I think Sonia and I both gravitate toward traditional sourdough more than this multi-grain seed bread. As always, we're grateful to have tried it and to know what it's like since it's quite different from the typical bread you find here in the States. We both agree this is a seven and a half star affair as far as we're concerned. Let us know what you think of this bread.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Espresso Martini

Trader Joe's Espresso Martini comes in a cute bottle and smells vaguely of coffee. It's not particularly sweet or creamy. It's 20% ABV. I've lived in big cities for half my adult life and I'm not sure I've ever known anyone who has owned martini glasses. Call me unsophisticated. I grew up in Appalachia. If you do know anybody who owns martini glasses, be sure to get chummy with them before you buy this product.

Just kidding. The bottle suggests serving it that way with coffee beans for garnish. But we're here to say that you not only need to chill the product, serve it with coffee beans, agitate it like you mean it, and put it in a martini glass to be palatable, but you also need to add cold foam or some sort of dairy product to approximate any type of espresso martini that is truly delicious or dessert-like in any way. Are we being too harsh?

No. Watch the video. Get our raw, uncensored thoughts about this beverage on YouTube in real time. This product isn't gross. It's not bad. It's just not worth ten bucks per bottle from my standpoint. Sonia and I lounge on our overpriced Lovesac Sactional and drink Trader Joe's Espresso Martini from non-martini glasses. It's YouTube gold. But the algorithm doesn't know that yet. Help us to educate it.

Oddly, the day after we shot the video, I attempted to re-agitate the bottle into a frothy foam, and it actually worked...at least sorta. I think the extra air in the bottle helped. It wasn't like a huge amount of creamy foam, but like the same little bubbly head you might get on the top of a pint of beer. It made the texture better and it may be my imagination, but I almost thought it tasted a shade better, too. Meh. Not enough to influence my final score.

Produced by Nomad Spirits in Los Angeles. That explains the lack of sweetness. Angelenos can't have much sugar or they gain weight and don't get the part on the daytime drama they're auditioning for. $9.99 for the 375 mL bottle. That's 12.68 oz. Kinda pricey. I wouldn't buy again. Sonia might if she had cold foam and a martini glass at her fingertips.

Sonia's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Soft Pretzel Twists

Everybody in the US is familiar with soft pretzels, but those of us who grew up in Pennsylvania know them just a bit better than the rest. With a high percentage of German-Americans and a huge Pennsylvania Dutch community, PA produces 80% of the nation's pretzels. I even went to college with a guy whose aunt...is actually Auntie Anne, founder of the famous pretzel chain.

All that to say, my standards are pretty high. So how do Trader Joe's Soft Pretzel Twists hold up? Considering they're pre-packaged and shelf stable for a few days at least, they're not terrible. If you're just snacking on them straight out of the bag, you might not be blown away. But if you take great care to moisten them, heat them per the instructions, and apply the big, coarse granules of salt with precision, they're certainly passable.

Once again, we used our air fryer to heat the pretzels instead of the conventional oven. I just can't justify preheating the real oven just to stick a couple of pretzels in it for three minutes. At any rate, it worked. I was fine snacking on the pretzel by itself with maybe a dab or two of mustard. Sonia wasn't into the plain twists by themselves very much. She made pretzel dogs and quite enjoyed them that way, though. I did, too. If we'd had some pub cheddar on hand, they'd have been great dunked in it.

$3.49 for six soft pretzels. Kosher. Put this on the might​ repurchase list. Seven and a half out of ten stars from Sonia, who wishes the pretzels were bigger and came with regular salt rather than the oversized granules. Eight out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Soft Pretzel Twists.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Speculoos Cookie Butter Filled Elephant Dung Espresso Beans 10th Anniversary Edition

I guess it wasn't such a crappy idea after all. Trader Joe's Chocolate Covered Elephant Dung Espresso Beans are BACK for a limited time only. They're boasting beautiful new 10th Anniversary Edition artwork and the same rich, earthy essences they did back in 2015. Even though we weren't exactly fixated on the funky flavors of the first edition, we did pick up this repackaging just for a trip down memory lane.

The pachyderm poopoo packs a potent punch and underneath, the coffee and cookie butter blend to provide sweetness and stimulation. I don't think the precise caffeine content of this product has ever been determined or published, but this Limited Edition release has me buzzing right now.

The collectible, reusable box and 20 servings of espresso beans featuring 100% certified organic elephant feces is yours for just $4.99, found in the candy aisle. Yes, it's gone up a buck, but hey, a decade of inflation will do that. Again, we gave the original a "not bad" score. It's really not our favorite snack in the world, but we've made it our duty...ahem, our doody to purchase and review all things TJ's just for you, our loyal readers.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sourdough Boules

Apparently "boule" is (one of) the French word(s) for "ball." Some places say it's pronounced "bool" and other say "bool-eh," so I don't even know. I say "bool" in the video. If that's wrong, I'm sure someone will call me out on it.

These are big roundish loaves of crusty sourdough and we turned ours into bread bowls. They were pretty good taste and texture-wise, and they retained the soup quite well. We just wish you could taste that tart sourdough flavor a bit more. We particularly enjoyed the crusty outer portion of this bread.

I've had my share of bread bowls with soup and I'd say this one is better than average. I'm glad Sonia cut the indentations for the soup because I'd have probably mangled the things beyond recognition. And the "lid" makes the perfect dunkable for the soup.

$2.99 for two big bread boules, found with the breads and baked goods. The best by date on our bag was just two days after we purchased it, so we had to eat them fast. Would buy again. We'll both go with seven and a half stars out of ten for Trader Joe's Sourdough Boules.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Shishito Crisps

Okay, this calls for an historical Trader Joe's dried, crispy, snackified veggies recap. The first ones I ever recall seeing were Trader Joe's Contemplates Inner Peas. I liked those pretty well. Sonia and I both enjoyed Trader Joe's Kale Chips. We thought the Broccoli Florets were okay. And I was a fan of the Crispy Crunchy Okra while Sonia was not. Most recently, we looked at the Oven Dried Bell Peppers. Bell peppers are among our favorite veggies in existence but strangely, we were not enamored with the dry version very much.

Enter: Trader Joe's Shishito Crisps. Once again, the ingredients are simple: just the titular veggies, rice bran oil, and salt. While I've heard of shishito peppers, I don't believe I've ever had them, and I'm not familiar with their flavor at all. Hey, there's a first time for everything.

First thoughts? They remind me of zombie fingers. They're brittle, crunchy, salty, and lightly oily. There seem to be three different colors in the bag: green, brown, and yellowish—with the green color being by far the most common. The taste? Maybe somewhere in between a bell pepper and a poblano pepper. I'd say the spice level is in between a bell and poblano as well—that is to say: not very spicy but not completely devoid of spice. After eating a few, there's an interesting residual warmth that's very pleasant.

They're not as flavorful as I was hoping they'd be, but the faint peppery taste combined with the rice bran oil produces enough sapidity to keep me interested. They'd go great with soup. Or a salad. Or soup and salad. I'd say these rank just above the aforementioned dried bell peppers and just below the crunchy okra in the annals of Trader Joe's crispy veggies.

So let's say I give these seven out of ten stars. Sonia is on board for the same. That's a "not bad" score for Trader Joe's Shishito Crisps from both the beautiful wifey and me. Product of Thailand. I think we paid about three bucks for the bag. Wait. Two hundred calories for the whole thing? Shoot. If I could learn to cultivate an eight out of ten star appreciation for this product, I'd drop the pounds like nobody's business.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brownie Truffle Baking Mix

In today's exciting episode, Nathan takes to the kitchen to bake brownies! What kind of unmitigated disaster will unfold in this misadventure? Click the video below to find out.

Surprisingly, Mr. Rodgers managed to make a decent batch of brownies despite his lack of culinary skills or understanding. Sonia supervised the whole operation like a helicopter parent patrolling a bratty pre-teen at a middle school make out party. 

Good thing, too. Nathan's not good at mixing, stirring, cracking eggs, or following instructions. Come to think of it, he's not good at much other than shoving sweets into his chubby face.

Alright. Enough with the self-deprecation. I get a little punchy when I have to write a few paragraphs to fill up space when the review is entirely contained in the YouTube video. I mean, this is really just placeholder text. I'm simply trying to make it a tad more interesting than your typical lorem ipsum.

Have I succeeded? Well, you've made it this far into this non-review, so I guess so. Thanks for reading this schlock. You should have just clicked the video to begin with. I digress.

Trader Joe's Brownie Truffles are easy to make, they have a nice dark chocolate flavor, and instead of edible fungi like you might have expected, they have robust chocolate chips all through them. We might buy this product again. $3.79 for the mix which produces 16 servings of brownie truffles. Wouldn't they be truffle brownies rather than brownie truffles?

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Couscous

Neither Sonia nor I grew up with couscous at all. I remember they served it in the dining commons at college once in a while. Some of the international students I knew would get moderately excited about it, so I decided to give it a whirl. It's not bad. It's a great substitute for rice or orzo, it has an interesting texture, and it goes great with Mediterranean meals.

Apparently couscous is indigenous to North Africa. It's usually a little buttery and salty, sorta fluffy texture-wise, and is a decent source of protein. The beautiful wifey and I have had pearled couscous several times, including the couscous formerly known as Trader Joe's Israeli Couscous. I prefer pearled, personally. The grains are larger and a tad firmer. We had some recently with one of our Hello Fresh meals that came with the ingredients for a garlic butter sauce. That might have been the best couscous I've ever had.

Sonia prefers the regular kind, and she's particularly enthused that this product is organic. She whipped up a batch in our latest video, posted below. It required only butter, salt, and water. The entire process took less than 10 minutes, and the results were pleasant but mostly unmemorable by my reckoning. Sonia ate some plain while I tried it with a Mediterranean style chicken and garbanzo salad.

$1.79 for 12 oz. Sonia would buy Trader Joe's Organic Couscous again, while I'd seek out the pearled kind before repurchasing this particular item. Six out of ten stars from me. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.