Trader Joe's Just the Clusters Vanilla Almond Granola

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But what if I eat cereal in the afternoon or a Pop-Tart after midnight? Those are breakfast foods, but I often eat them at not-so-breakfasty times. If I eat steak at 6:30 in the morning, is that still my most important meal of the day? Or do I need to consume it as "part of a complete breakfast" with juice, toast, and milk? If I purchase an Egg McMuffin at 11am and eat it at noon, does that count as breakfast or lunch?

The answers to these questions and more...are definitely not in this food review. But what I will tell you is that this cereal tastes good, provided you're a fan of vanilla, granola, and almonds. It's crunchy, clustery, and filling. It's sweet but not too sweet. Sonia likes it with yogurt. Bonus: the bag is resealable.

The nuts are just slivers. I wouldn't have minded bigger almond chunks and more of them. Some of the granola clusters are too big. Also, canola oil is the third ingredient—even higher than rice flour. It's "expeller pressed canola oil" if that makes a difference. I'll let you tell me if it does or not.

$3.79 for the eight serving bag. I could be wrong, but I think this product was only $3.29 a couple years back. Also, Sonia thinks it tasted more like vanilla before this most recent repackaging. Oh well. Seven and a half out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Just the Clusters Vanilla Almond Granola. Seven out of ten from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheesy Bagels

Growing up in South Central Pennsylvania, I didn't really eat bagels much. I mean, you could buy them at the grocery store, but my family generally didn't. Furthermore, they weren't an intrinsic part of the food culture out there in cow country.

When I went to college, I was excited to see bagels in the dining commons, where I could eat them every day. I thought they were great. The kids from North Jersey, Connecticut, and New York City were less enthused, frequently proclaiming that "Pennsylvania bagels aren't good." Except the language they used was much more colorful than that and involved words that have no place on a family-friendly blog such as this one.

Subsequent trips to the city would indeed prove that New York knows how to do bagels in the same way that Philly knows how to do cheesesteaks and Chicago knows how to do deep-dish pizza. All that to say, I'm far from an expert, but I love me a good bagel once in a while.

That said, store bought bagels rarely compare with anything fresh from a bakery or deli, but once in a while a decent product comes along. And while these aren't the best bagels I've ever had, they're pretty tasty if you like asiago cheese. That funky asiago essence really starts wafting through the kitchen once you fire up the toaster, and there's no turning back from there.

They are indeed soft and doughy on the inside and chewy on the outside. The asiago flavor is fairly dominant but not overpowering. There's a subtle wheat and barley taste as well. I enjoyed them with cream cheese the most, but they were fine with just butter in my opinion. Sonia liked them quite a bit, too, trying them with cream cheese, butter, and some seasoned chicken cold cuts for protein.

$3.49 for four pre-sliced bagels. Kosher. Would buy again. We'll go with eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Cheesy Bagels.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Swirl Danish

They say you are what you eat. And you don't get a nice doughy physique like mine by eating a low-carb diet, that's for sure. I'm a certified breadhead. A carbivore. A lover of pastries and baked goods. It's a good thing I'm not skilled at baking or I'd weigh like 400 pounds.

That said, I might go easy on a product just because it's a sweet, bready Danish. But I also might be harsh on it because my standards are unusually high. It's a double-edged sword.

If you're in it for a typical sticky bun Danish pastry type thing, then I think you'll like this product. If you're in it for the salted caramel custard, then you might be a bit disappointed. There's not like a glob of actual custard in the middle of the bread or anything like that. There's just a thin glaze of it in between layers of the pastry. I might not be up-to-date with my Danish bun lingo, but when I see the words "custard style filling" I think there's a giant cache of yummy pudding somewhere in the breading that you could eat with a spoon. That's not the case here.

Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Swirl Danish does indeed have a caramel-esque flavor, which is nice. It's not particularly salty in our opinions, but that's just fine by us. Our specimen was never dry, not even after heating in the air fryer. They give optional heating instructions for the conventional oven only on the packaging. Who pre-heats their oven to 350° to put something in it for two minutes??

At any rate, the air fryer worked pretty well and the product remained soft and fresh-tasting. It's honestly almost as good just straight out of the package. So if you're on your way home from TJ's and you need that pick-me-up, this product is totally fair game at room temperature. It's a little sticky and messy, so have some wet naps nearby.

$3.99 for three big Danishes. Product of Denmark. And look at that: if you eat the entire package, there's actually fewer calories than if you just eat a single Danish. 390 calories for one pastry or 117 for the whole thing. Oh wait. Part of the nutrition info is hidden behind the little flap on the wrapper. Yeah. I guess that's 1170 calories per package. Boo. Eight out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Swirl Danish. Sonia will go with eight and a half.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Iced Oatmeal Baked Whole Grain Bar

Organic whole grain oats are super duper healthy. And they taste okay. Nothing to complain about, right? But hey, let's face it: whole grain oats are kinda boring, bland, and plain.

That's where that icing comes in. There's a lot riding on that icing. That icing is tasked with taking something dull and turning it into something you'll actually choose to eat over a Snickers or a Twinkie from the vending machine when you get that mid-day munchies feeling at work.

And it does a pretty decent job in this particular case. There's a sweet, almost milky, taste to these bars. They're nice and soft, too. Very easy and pleasant to chew. 

A lot of the ingredients are pretty obvious: oats, rice, sugar. But there are some surprises as well: fig paste, vanilla chips, and cinnamon. They all come together for a unique flavor that can curb a sweet tooth or a mid-day snack attack without too much indulgence. I was impressed.

$4.69 for six single serving bars is a bit steep in my opinion. But hey, they're organic, kosher, gluten free, and have three grams of fiber in every bar. 

Another product of Canada. You'd think we could produce oatmeal bars here in the states, but Trader Joe has always been international like that. 

Sonia and I will throw out seven and a half stars for Trader Joe's Organic Iced Oatmeal Baked Whole Grain Bar.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Overnight Oats

Pumpkin Overnight Oats, hereinafter referred to as POO, was never going to be a contender for the hallowed halls of the Pantheon on this blog. I'll give anything the old college try, but I'm starting to see a pattern here. Super indulgent desserts that go the pumpkin pie route can totally work. I'm thinking Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Sheet Cake. Savory stuff that sticks to a squashy, herby essence is also a safe bet. Just one example would be Trader Joe's Fall Harvest Salsa. Products that get slathered in pumpkin pie spices and pumpkin puree while still trying to maintain an air of wholesomeness and healthiness like this one? Ehhhh. Those usually miss the mark in my opinion.

On one hand, the POO is thick and full of whole grain oats, much like TJ's other overnight oat offerings. It's $1.99 for the single serving cup. It's not a terrible value. It's filling. It's unique.

But on the other hand, I don't think the pumpkin spices and pumpkin puree really work in this application. You can get away with throwing things like apples and peanut butter into oatmeal, but would you really ever want to throw a piece of pumpkin pie into your oatmeal? I doubt it. I wouldn't.

Sonia isn't as turned off as I am. And honestly, I thought there was a good chance this would be so bad that I'd gag and spit it out of my mouth. It's truly not that awful. I could finish it by myself if I had to. I just don't think either of us would ever buy it again.

Kosher. Gluten free. Keep refrigerated. Sonia will go with seven out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Overnight Oats. I'll throw out five stars for the POO.

Sonia's score: 7 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken Sausage Breakfast Bowl

Just trying a different format here. Most of this review was done on the fly in the YouTube video below, but I'll throw out some bullet points in this written post.

Pros: plenty of chicken sausage. Convenient. Filling. Product has a nice blend of salt and pepper flavors in the background.

Cons: the sausage comes in huge slabs rather than crumbled, and it has too much fennel flavor. There's not enough cheddar cheese. The plastic film didn't want to come off of the bowl easily. $4.29 is a little too much money considering the size and quality of the product. 

If you're in a pinch, it'll do the job for a quick and easy breakfast (or lunch) particularly if you're super hungry. Probably wouldn't buy Trader Joe's Chicken Sausage Breakfast Bowl again.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hashbrowns

POE-TAY-TOES. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. You can make hash browns out of 'em, too. Taters really are versatile. Quick question, though: is "hashbrowns" one word or two? Seems Trader Joe's can't make up their mind on the issue. We reviewed a Shredded Hash Browns product many years ago, and back then it was a two word phrase whereas now it's a single compound word.

Not that this is a new item. In fact, this iteration may pre-date that shredded offering mentioned above. It's been around for a long time because it's an excellent product. I'm finally enthusiastic enough about it to give it a solid review thanks to the advent of the air fryer. Heated on the skillet, these morsels are good. Heated in an air fryer, these morsels are great.

They're crispy, slightly oily, and full of delightfully hearty potato flavor. These are some of the best hashbrowns Sonia and I have ever had. We've purchased this product a few times over the years. Not sure why we didn't review it sooner.

To circle back to the question I asked in the opening paragraph of this review, I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that "hashbrowns" taste better when they're spelled as a single word, so we should all just spell it that way from now on. $2.79 for ten potato patties made with Idaho potatoes, found in the frozen section. Twenty-eight cents per hashbrown? That's a ridiculously good value. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Hashbrowns.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese & Turkey Sausage Egg White Bites

When I complain about these egg bites being too small and too expensive, Sonia is quick to remind me that they sell pretty much the same thing at Starbucks for nearly double the $3.49 price tag at Trader Joe's.

And while I'm complaining, let me just say I wish there were a whole egg version of this product. Sure, egg yolks have some cholesterol, but it's good cholesterol. I always feel like I'm missing something when I eat yolkless egg.

But now that I've gotten those trivialities off my chest, let me say that all things considered, I like these egg bites quite a bit. You can't beat unexpected cheddar in the cheese department. If I'm gonna eat sausage, I prefer turkey sausage, so there's that. It's nicely spiced and flaunts a rich, savory flavor, even though the sausage pieces are quite tiny by my standards.

It's undeniably unexpected cheddar we're tasting here, but there could always be more of it. Littles pieces of vegetables wouldn't have been unwelcome, either. These aren't the first egg bites we've looked at on this blog. See: the spinach and kale variety from about a year ago. Those greens worked well in egg bites, although, all things considered, I have to admit I like this version just a tad more.

Sonia will give Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese & Turkey Sausage Egg White Bites eight out of ten stars. That sounds about right. Gluten free. Made with eggs from cage free hens. We would buy these again.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Pasture Raised Large Brown Eggs

Well, I mean, shoot. If we can review stuff like arugula and red pepper on this blog, eggs are certainly worth a looksee, right? Sure.

These puppies are organic. $6.49 for the dozen. That makes them about $1.50 more expensive than their non-organic yet still pasture-raised counterparts. But they're still a buck or two cheaper than organic eggs I've seen from other grocery stores. Is the organic-ness worth it? I have no idea in this case. Sonia apparently thinks it is. I'd probably just grab the cheap stuff.

They are indeed large brown chicken eggs. They look pretty pristine inside and out. With 70 calories each and a good amount of protein, eggs are still one of the most cost-effective foods on the market—even the organic kind.

I've mentioned before that I kinda have to be in the mood for eggs. I'm not someone that's ever had them for breakfast every day. Sonia, on the other hand, not only eats eggs almost every single day, but she'll often have them for breakfast and a mid-day snack.

For their high quality and overall decent value, we'll both go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Organic Pasture Raised Large Brown Eggs.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meatless Breakfast Sausage Patties

I've never really been a fan of traditional sausage. I just don't like the taste of most pork products in general and there's something off-putting about the texture to me. Interestingly enough, this product found a way to emulate that off-putting texture fairly accurately. There are like little bumps of...something here and there that feel just like the weird bumps of animal meat in real sausage.

The spice blend is nice and hits pretty close to the spices you'd taste in pork sausage without the actual taste of meat. I'm not thrilled that the base is soy protein and wheat gluten. I'd rather have some other type of bean base, but I guess most fake meats are still made with some amount of soy or soy byproduct.

If you dress these puppies up with cheese, bread, and condiments, they're quite edible and unoffensive. I'd easily pick out that this was fake meat even in a blind taste test. Sonia agrees, but neither of us would prefer traditional sausage over this option in terms of taste or texture. 

We'd both gravitate towards turkey or chicken sausage as our first choice. But if you do Meatless Mondays or just mix things up for the heck of it, this vegan sausage is a passable breakfast option.

There were seven patties in our bag despite the packaging specifying there should be six. About four bucks for the whole thing. The patties are oddly small and don't really fit inside a bun or bagel or even an English muffin. There's excess bread on all sides. 

Sonia would probably buy Trader Joe's Meatless Breakfast Sausage Patties again while I probably would not.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tortilla Española

Over 20 years ago, I visited Spain briefly. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything quite like this during my few days there. I was able to sample some paella in Madrid, but I mentioned on this blog that I actually liked Trader Joe's Seafood Paella more than the dish I had in Spain.

Sonia didn't grow up with anything quite like this either. It's new to both of us, and it's nothing like a "tortilla" in the way we both think of the word. This item is more like a dense omelette made of potatoes, eggs, and onions, primarily. In fact, that's it. Except for a bit of salt and oil, those are the sole ingredients.

The product isn't too oily, even after adding a bit to the pan we cooked it in. It's a nice, clean, hearty breakfast food, filling and simple. It darkened a bit around the outside edges of the "tortilla" and got just a tad crispy by the end of the heating process. The rest of the dish was soft, warm, and moist, but not so damp as to feel wet or soupy at all. If anything, I would have wished for more of the onion flavor. It wasn't pungent enough if you ask me.

I ate mine without any toppings or condiments, though it had crossed my mind to dabble a bit of hot sauce here and there. Sonia added cheese, garlic, hot sauce, and black pepper to hers yet still insisted she enjoyed the plain product even before dressing it up.

$5.49 for the 6 serving omelet. Product of Spain. Would buy again. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Tortilla Española.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes

Below, you'll find another video review featuring both the beautiful wifey and me.

I'm not sure if I put the nutrition info anywhere in the video, so I'll drop it right here.

$2.49 for 5 green onion pancakes actually imported from Taiwan. Vegan. We would definitely buy Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Peanut Butter & Cocoa Crunch Cereal

I never got that tagline from Kix cereal. "Kid tested, mother approved." Sounds like the kids didn't like it that much. They tested it, but they didn't necessarily approve of it. Mom had to force them to eat it after they tried it once.

And yeah, this is basically Kix with a peanut butter chocolate twist. I could have sworn there were already Peanut Butter Kix and maybe even Chocolate Peanut Butter Kix, but apparently I've shifted into a parallel reality yet again because after a few internet queries there is no evidence of either such cereal having existed on this particular timeline. Must be all that time travel I've been doing. I digress.

I think adults will like this organic, kosher, gluten free cereal well enough. There's just the right amount of chocolate and peanut butter flavor to keep it interesting. Will kids like it? Some will...so long as they haven't been spoiled with name brand chocolate coated sugar bombs too badly. I would have enjoyed this as a kid. I was a weird kid, though. I'm still kinda weird. But most of you have probably figured that out by now.

The cereal is quite crunchy, as the name suggests. It might almost be on the verge of too crunchy for my taste. It didn't scrape up the roof of my mouth too badly, but my teeth ached a tad after finishing my bowl. Of course, the morsels are slightly softer after having soaked in milk for a few minutes, but they still pack a significant crunch factor.

$3.49 for the seven serving box. I'd buy the Chocolate Peanut Butter Granola again before I'd reach for this product, but it's nothing to complain about. Seven out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Organic Peanut Butter & Cocoa Crunch Cereal. Sonia gives it eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Cardamom Buns

Fun fact: cardamom is the third-most expensive spice in existence after, presumably, saffron and that stuff they get from the sandworms on Arrakis. It's apparently used widely as a baking ingredient in Scandinavian countries. Those zany Vikings and their cardamom...

But seriously though, I don't think I've had many, if any, pastries with cardamom as a prominently featured flavor/ingredient ever in my life...until now. And if I'm honest, I didn't like it that much, however, the beautiful wifey enjoyed it quite a bit. We haven't disagreed on a product this strongly in quite a while.

We both agreed that there was something fall-ish about this item. Cardamom isn't a far cry from allspice or clove in terms of flavor and intensity. It might not be a pumpkin spice, per se, but it's "pumpkin spice adjacent" in my opinion.

The brown sugar element was nice, providing a sweet, nutty essence to the bun. But the relative bitterness and spiciness of the cardamom was a turn-off for me, while Sonia thought it made the product unique and memorable. The bready part of the pastry was fairly standard, highly reminiscent of last fall's Apple Cinnamon Buns, neither stale nor unusually fresh—passable but not praise-worthy if you ask me.

$4.49 for two big sweet spiced buns, found with the other baked goods. This one will get a thumbs up from the beautiful wifey and a thumbs down from me. We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Nathan's score: 5.5 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bubble Waffles

Oh I get it now. They're just pancakes with mochi rice cakes baked into them. That's what the big lumps are. They come from Thailand.

At first, I didn't get it. Why would anybody want waffles with egg-shaped bubbles baked into them? I assumed it was just air or something, or maybe like wads of waffle batter. Mochi makes sense. Did I mention this is a product of Thailand? They apparently love mochi over there.

I've seen social media posts with people rolling these bubble waffles up into cones and putting ice cream in them. That's fun. I also saw an Instagram post where they just plopped a scoop of that amazing horchata ice cream right in the middle of the waffle on a plate in lieu of syrup or whatever. I've actually heard they go great with condensed milk, too.

Anyway, the horchata ice cream and bubble waffle combo is excellent. Butter and syrup works just fine. The regular flat part of these treats is crispy and soft and the mochi part is even softer and slightly chewy, just like a mochi rice cake you'd get at one of those frozen yogurt places as a topping, except here, they're baked right into the batter.

I think the mochi makes these waffles even more filling than regular waffles or pancakes. There's a nice coconut and vanilla sweetness about them that's not over-the-top but lends a moderate comfort food vibe to these breakfast treats that could also serve as a snack or dessert. The smell and taste of the batter is reminiscent of funnel cake in a way.

$4.49 for four bubble waffles. Vegan. Would buy again. Put Sonia down for 9/10 stars on Trader Joe's Bubble Waffles. I'll go with 8/10.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola

When I was a kid, I had to have sugary cereal first thing in the morning. Nothing else would get me out of bed. Bacon and eggs? Nah. Not my thing, certainly not minutes after waking up. Sugar was like my caffeine up until the age of 22 or so. After that first dose of candy coated morsels in a bowl and an episode of Inspector Gadget, I was ready to face my day.

Now I'm the opposite. Lately, cereal has been like a mid-afternoon sweet tooth craving type snack for me rather than breakfast. I do like some sugar in the form of a beverage in the morning, but the food I crave first thing when I'm up is more like lunch or dinner fare. Peanut butter and chocolate on rolled oats with milk sounds like a nice pick-me-up later in the day.

Some granola can be unpleasantly hard. I feel like this product has a nice granola crunch, but the mouthfeel is tempered by copious amounts of peanut butter and chocolate, both of which are much softer than plain granola. Mix some milk into the equation and we've got some bite-sized nuggets that are downright soft on the outside but still firm and crunchy underneath.

Flavor-wise, there's a pretty nice balance of chocolate and peanut butter. I'll almost always err in the direction of peanut butter when mixing the two—not that I have anything against good chocolate. It is "dark chocolate," which is generally not my preferred variety, but I feel it works quite well in this case when played against peanut butter, sweetened crisp rice, and vanilla in the background. This product tastes vastly better than Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Protein Granola in my humble opinion, but then again, this one doesn't have pea protein, so it was always going to do better in the flavor department.

It's great for turning plain yogurt into a Reese's-esque treat, or it's fine in milk or even just straight out of the package. It could serve as breakfast, dessert, or a mid-day snack with equal proficiency in each case. It's one of the better granola products I've had recently and I really can't think of any major complaints.

$3.99 for the resealable bag. Kosher. Would buy again. Nathan's score: 8/10. Sonia's score: 9/10 for Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee K-Cups

As our attempt to maintain a minimalistic lifestyle grows ever more futile by the day, I'm slowly realizing ownership of certain items is nearly unavoidable despite not wanting to own a bunch of stuff—things like: furniture, a microwave, an air fryer, and yes, a Keurig.

And as many of you know, Sonia is a big coffee person. Once upon a time in the 90s, she owned her own mini espresso machine, back when she worked for Starsucks. At our old house, she had a traditional coffee maker. While we were on the road, she used a French press for a while and then switched to instant coffee. But hey, we're in sticks and bricks still for the time being and we've got all this space. Might as well fill it up with appliances and stuff <sigh> hence the Keurig.

I drink coffee once in a blue moon, but I'm more of an energy drink guy for the most part so I'll let the beautiful wifey do most of the analysis on this product. She says Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee is well-balanced. It's not bitter or over-roasted. She likes that the coffee is organic, too. I'll add that this coffee definitely didn't make me gag or anything, not even when I tried it plain without sugar or creamer.

I've purchased some K-Cups for Sonia so I'm well aware of how pricey they can be. At $5.29 for 12 single serve cups, this Trader Joe's product is quite a bargain. It says "fair trade" so we'll just go ahead and assume the coffee farmers didn't get ripped off too badly...

Would buy again. Product of Colombia. Kosher. I'll defer to the beautiful coffee connoisseur for final scoring on this one. She gives Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee 9/10 stars.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.