Trader Joe's Organic Double Chocolate Batard

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. "Chocolate bread? Isn’t that just cake for people who are lying to themselves about their health goals?" Usually, you’d be right. But Trader Joe’s has imported a little slice of Parisian rebellion called the Double Chocolate Batard, and frankly, it’s making the rest of the bakery aisle look like a bunch of amateurs.

For a mere $4.99, you get a decent size loaf that feels like it was hand-delivered by a guy on a Vespa who definitely judges your pronunciation. It looks artisanal, it feels uniquely French, and it demands just 12 minutes of your time at 350 degrees to reach its final, glorious form.

Once it emerges from the oven, you’re looking at a texture that is unapologetically bready. This isn’t a moist sponge or a crumbly cookie. It’s a dense, yeasty, philosophically-stimulating kind of bread. The outside develops that perfect, slight crust that shatters just enough to be satisfying, while the inside remains soft and substantial.

The flavor is the real shocker, though. It’s surprisingly restrained. I’m usually the first person to complain that dark chocolate tastes like expensive dirt, but in this context, it’s the only logical choice. It isn't super bitter, but it definitely isn't cloyingly sweet. It’s chocolate for grown-ups who still want something fun and novel for breakfast.

Sonia and I both went into this with a healthy dose of skepticism, but we were quickly won over by the taste and texture of this unique baked good. It occupies a weird, wonderful space in the culinary world that isn't a muffin, a cookie, or a croissant. It’s just itself. It’s phenomenal for breakfast alongside a strong cup of coffee, and while you could get fancy with some sliced strawberries or a dollop of mascarpone, let’s be real: it's best served toasty and warm with a thick slab of butter melting into every dark crevice.

The beautiful wifey and I were so impressed that we both officially clocked it at eight and a half stars. If you’ve got five bucks and a dream of French indulgence without the jet lag, go find this batard. Although I must leave you with the following warning: try to eat as much of it as you can straight out of the oven. The bread isn't nearly as good when heated a second time. It gets stale pretty quickly once it's out of the bag.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Buffalo Style Chicken Meatballs

Right out of the gate, the flavor of Trader Joe's Buffalo Chicken Meatballs hits that familiar buffalo sauce profile: tangy and a little garlicky with a gentle cayenne kick. The heat level is pleasantly restrained, landing somewhere around a three or four out of ten, which makes these approachable even for folks who don’t normally chase spicy foods. I’m actually on record saying buffalo flavor isn’t usually my thing, but these meatballs are genuinely tasty.

Texture is another big win here. The meatballs are tender without being mushy and hold together nicely whether you heat them in the air fryer. They’ve got that satisfying bite that makes them feel hearty rather than processed. Bonus points: they’re gluten free, which makes them a convenient option for anyone avoiding wheat.

One interesting twist is the Monterey Jack cheese mixed into the meatballs. It’s not intrusive or overly cheesy, but it quietly does its job by mellowing the sharp edges of the buffalo seasoning. The result is a balanced flavor that keeps the buffalo vibe intact while smoothing out the heat and acidity.

We kept things simple this time around and served them low-carb appetizer style with celery sticks and ranch dressing—basically buffalo wings without the bones. Honestly, they capture that same classic flavor combo but might actually be easier to eat.

While they’re great on their own, these meatballs feel like they’re begging to be used in other dishes. They would absolutely shine in a toasted sub, sliced into a buffalo chicken salad, or tossed over a rice bowl with veggies and maybe a drizzle of ranch...or even blue cheese if that's your thing.

Compared to Trader Joe’s Pineapple Teriyaki Chicken Meatballs, we like these at least as much. The teriyaki version is delicious but definitely on the sweeter side, while the buffalo meatballs feel more versatile and adaptable to different meals. If you like buffalo flavor, even casually, these are an easy pickup and a fun twist on the classic wing experience.

Sonia gives Trader Joe's Buffalo Chicken Meatballs eight and a half out of ten stars, while I’m right behind her at eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Garlic Butter Irish Potato Chips

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if pub chips got a passport and a culinary degree, allow me to introduce Trader Joe’s Garlic Butter Irish Potato Chips. For $2.99, you get a 5.5 oz bag of ridge cut chips imported straight from Ireland, and they absolutely taste like they flew first class.

At first glance, you might expect something similar to sour cream and onion potato chips. And yes, there’s that familiar creamy, savory vibe. But these are more refined—like sour cream and onion that studied abroad for a semester and came back quoting poetry. The buttery richness hits immediately. These chips are unapologetically buttery. Not greasy. Not heavy. Just smooth, savory decadence that feels borderline gourmet.

Interestingly, the garlic plays it cool. It’s not loud or sharp on the initial crunch. Instead, it sneaks in during the finish, lingering pleasantly after you swallow. It’s a slow-burn garlic experience. It's subtle on the attack, confident at the end. That delayed garlic pop keeps you reaching back into the bag "just to confirm" it’s really there.

Texture-wise, Trader Joe’s Garlic Butter Irish Potato Chips absolutely deliver. They’re ridge cut, giving them that satisfying crunch and structural integrity. These aren’t fragile, whisper-thin chips. They’re sturdy without being jaw work. In fact, we had these bouncing around in the car on a fairly long ride, and virtually none of the chips were broken. Now that’s engineering.

As for pairings? These would be phenomenal alongside fried fish, especially if you’re leaning into the Irish theme. They’d also hold their own next to a good Reuben sandwich, as well. Honestly, if a gourmet restaurant decided to throw a curveball and serve top-shelf potato chips as a side, they might taste exactly like this.

In the end, Trader Joe’s Garlic Butter Irish Potato Chips are rich, refined, and surprisingly balanced. Sonia gives them nine out of ten stars. I'll throw out eight and a half on this one. For three bucks, that’s a buttery bargain with a charming Irish accent.

Bottom line: 8.75 out of 10.

Wish Farms Pink-A-Boo Pineberries

If you’ve spotted Pink-A-Boo Pineberries at Trader Joe’s and thought, “Why are those strawberries so pale?” Relax. They’re not unripe. They’re just fancy.

For $5.99, you get a 10 oz package of these creamy whitish, pinkish berries that look like they should be sour but absolutely are not. Pink-A-Boo Pineberries are intentionally pale, and that ghostly complexion is part of their charm. They’re marketed as pineapple-flavored strawberries, and while I wouldn’t say they taste exactly like pineapple, they are exceptionally sweet with a bright, tropical vibe.

The flavor is delicate and candy-like. They're less tart than traditional red strawberries and more mellow overall. If you go in expecting a full on pineapple impersonation, you might be confused. But if you approach them as a special strawberry variety with a unique sweetness and subtle tropical notes, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Sonia loved the pineberries in yogurt. Image from Google Gemini.

These pineberries are reportedly non-GMO and are a hybrid of Japanese and Florida strawberry varieties developed at the University of Florida. So yes, there’s some legit horticultural wizardry behind that pale exterior. This particular produce comes from a company called Wish Farms.

Texture-wise, they’re juicy and tender, similar to conventional strawberries, though we found them slightly softer. They’re fantastic straight out of the container, and that’s exactly how they disappeared in our house. Sonia was especially enthusiastic about them. She liked them even more than I did. That said, I somehow managed to eat quite a few myself. They lasted exactly one day before we polished off the entire package.

Are Pink-A-Boo Pineberries worth $5.99? If you’re a strawberry fan looking to try something a little different, absolutely. They’re sweet, novel, and undeniably snackable. Available at Trader Joe's but not exclusively at Trader Joe's.

Final score: Sonia gives them eight out of ten stars, and I agree with a solid eight out of ten as well. Not quite pineapple in my humble opinion, but definitely a berry worth meeting.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Butter with Parmesan, Garlic & Herb

Trader Joe’s hit the mark with this Parmesan, Garlic & Herb Butter. It’s basically a four ounce roll of salted butter laced with the aforementioned titular flavors along with lemon juice, shallot, vinegar, pepper, and parsley so you get layers of flavor immediately: sharp cheese, bright citrus, savory garlic, and just enough cracked black pepper to keep it interesting. The parmesan really sings. It isn’t shy about its presence, giving the whole thing an umami punch you don’t always get from a flavored butter.

Spread on a warm baguette and broil for a couple minutes, it becomes effortless garlic bread—crisp on the edges, rich and gooey inside. I’ve also slathered it on morning toast when I forgot to buy jam, and truthfully, the tang of parm + herb was better than I expected. Other times, I’ve dropped a pat onto roasted potatoes or mixed it with wilted spinach and hot pasta for the kind of dinner that feels indulgent without any extra fuss. Folks online are doing everything from melting it over steak to dotting it on popcorn for a savory snack.

If there’s a downside, it’s that the pepper can be a little assertive if you’re just nibbling straight from the stick on a cracker. But overall, it’s one of those small extras that makes weeknight food feel a touch gourmet. Butter it on grilled cheese, finish grilled or roasted veggies, or stir it into rice or scrambled eggs to jazz up something plain. Quick, tasty, and incredibly versatile, this is one we'll pick up again.$2.99 for the eight serving stick, found in the refrigerated section. Eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Parmesan, Garlic & Herb Butter.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ready to Use Espresso Coffee

When I first picked up Trader Joe’s Ready to Use Espresso Coffee, I honestly thought it was just a fancy little single-serve bottle—you know, one of those “one and done” caffeine grenades you slam before running out the door. But nope. Turns out that modest-looking bottle is packing 16 shots of espresso inside. Sixteen! Suddenly that ten dollar price tag makes a whole lot more sense.

One of the things we really like about it is the size. Compared to other coffee concentrates that come in bulky bottles and hog fridge space, this one is compact and easy to tuck away. It feels efficient, like espresso should.

The label says the arabica beans are sourced from regions stretching from Central America down through South America, though it doesn’t name specific countries. Flavor-wise, it lands pretty much where you’d expect. It's strong and somewhat bitter if you dilute it with just water. That method works in a pinch, but it’s definitely not where this product shines.

Add milk or cream and it transforms completely. The bitterness smooths out, the subtle roast flavors come forward, and it becomes very drinkable. We’ve been using it primarily for cold lattes, which come together ridiculously fast. Just pour, mix, ice, done.

Sonia, our resident coffee connoisseur, even took things a step further and created a homemade s’mores latte using this espresso. Her version included marshmallow syrup, cold foam, and a drizzle of chocolate syrup, and honestly, it tasted like something you’d pay seven bucks for at a coffee shop.

Since she’s the true espresso expert in the household, I let her handle the final verdict. Her official score: eight and a half out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Ready to Use Espresso Coffee. It's a very solid shortcut for cafe style drinks at home.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Japanese Mini Taiyaki

Having explored the culinary curiosities of Tokyo Treat, Bokksu, and Sakuraco, Sonia and I like to think of ourselves as seasoned snack diplomats. We’ve navigated the world of shelf-stable Japanese vending machine cookies and vacuum-sealed mysteries, but Trader Joe’s Mini Taiyaki felt like a high-stakes promotion. For $4.99, you get eight frozen fish imported directly from Japan, which is significantly cheaper than a round-trip ticket to Sakai City.

This was our first foray into the actual pastry version of taiyaki, rather than the crunchy, biscuit-based imposters we’ve encountered in subscription boxes. The instructions suggest various methods of resurrection, but we opted for the air fryer—the only logical choice for a custard-filled waffle that was born in a factory and spent its formative weeks in a freezer chest.

The result was surprisingly sophisticated. The exterior transforms into a crispy, golden texture that manages to be both structurally sound and satisfyingly light. Inside lies a reservoir of vanilla custard. It’s a classic pairing, executed with a level of restraint that is quintessentially Japanese. While American snacks often aim to induce a glycemic coma, Trader Joe's Taiyaki offer a sweetness that is polite and understated.

I will note that the fish are slightly oily, as if they’ve been sweating in their bag, but it’s a manageable sheen that doesn’t require a hazmat suit to handle. You can and should eat them with your hands. If you’re feeling particularly decadent, or if you simply want to see how much dairy a single human can consume in one sitting, they pair exceptionally well with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Overall, it’s a very neat experience for five dollars. It’s a bit of authentic Japanese street food culture tucked between the frozen cauliflower gnocchi and orange chicken. We’ve already decided they’re a buy again item, if only to fulfill our roles as dedicated snack critics. An impressive nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. I'll go with eight and a half on Trader Joe's Japanese Mini Taiyaki.

Bottom line: 8.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bird's Eye Chile Hot Sauce

Trader Joe’s Bird’s Eye Chile Hot Sauce is here to remind you that yes, Trader Joe’s can, in fact, bring the heat. Three bucks gets you a 4.22 oz bottle of this South African import, which immediately sets it apart from the usual California-cute condiments lining the shelves. This stuff contains actual bird’s eye chile pepper—the same fiery little number that powers peri peri sauce and fuels many a Nando’s chicken obsession. If you’ve had TJ’s Peri Peri Sauce before, you’re in the right ballpark. Similar vibe, similar bright, punchy personality.

Flavor-wise, it’s not just heat for heat’s sake. It’s quite spicy, but there’s also this fresh, almost citrusy brightness to it. It pops. It wakes up your taste buds. It’s the kind of heat that feels intentional rather than reckless.

Now, let’s talk about the pour. This sauce is on the thicker side, at least compared to stuff like Texas Pete or Tapatio. At first, it doesn’t want to come out of the bottle. You tilt. You wait. Nothing. Then suddenly—glorp. A spicy blob lands on your food like it just parachuted in from Johannesburg. And because it’s fairly hot, you don’t want to overdo it but controlling the flow takes a little practice. Consider it a relationship you’ll need to work on.

Once you get the hang of it, though? Game on.

We’ve splashed it on chicken and rice, chili, burgers, pizza, pasta, roasted potatoes, eggs—basically anything that benefits from a little fiery encouragement. It plays well with everything. It’s not the spiciest thing I’ve ever eaten, but it’s easily hotter than anything Trader Joe’s has put out in recent memory. And more importantly, it tastes great. Unique. Bold. Memorable.

We’d both buy it again. Another thumbs up from both Sonia and me. Eight out of ten stars from each of us.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic and Trader Joe's Fried Shallots

Trader Joe’s Crispy Garlic and Trader Joe's Fried Shallots are the kind of products that make you feel kinda smug in the snack aisle. You’re not buying chips. You’re buying ingredients. Fancy toppings. Culinary enhancements. Definitely not something you’re about to eat straight out of the bag like a raccoon at midnight, although I must admit we did try both that way and they're not half bad.

Trader Joe's Fried Shallots on a burger

Anyway, both of these live in resealable bags, both hail from Thailand, and both feel suspiciously like they might come from the same magical allium factory overseas. The Crispy Garlic will cost you $3.29, while the Fried Shallots are a slightly more modest $2.49. Inflation is real, but apparently garlic still thinks pretty highly of itself.

Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic

Let’s start with the Crispy Garlic. These little guys look like almond slices, which makes them feel classy even as they’re absolutely wrecking your breath. The flavor is significantly more potent than the shallots. They’re fried in rice bran oil, and the result is deeply savory, crunchy, and wildly addictive. If you love garlic like we do, this is your jam. Or topping. Or handful snack.

The Fried Shallots are more familiar, more chill. Think fried onions, but with that shallot sweetness and depth. They’re fried in palm oil and are perfect on burgers, salads, rice bowls, noodles—basically anything that feels lonely. We threw them on a burger and immediately felt smarter than we are. They add crunch, a little zing, and zero regrets. They're also certified vegan (until you put them on a hamburger).

If forced to choose, we like the garlic just a tad more but that’s because we’re garlic fiends, not because the shallots did anything wrong. In a fairer universe, you’d just buy both. Which, spoiler alert, we would absolutely do again. Sonia will go with eight and a half stars on Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic. I'll go half a star lower with a solid eight. The beautiful wifey gives Trader Joe's Fried Shallots eight out of ten stars, and once again, I'll go just a half star lower.

Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic: 8.25 out of 10.
Trader Joe's Fried Shallots: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salsa Taquera

Trader Joe’s Salsa Taquera is priced at $2.49 for a 12 oz glass jar, which is consistent with the rest of their shelf-stable salsa lineup. The packaging matches their Salsa Verde and Salsa Autentica, making it easy to spot and clearly positioning it as part of the same family.

In terms of flavor, this salsa is well balanced and thoughtfully composed. It features tomato, tomatillo, onion, garlic, habanero, jalapeño, and cilantro, along with a subtle touch of mango. None of the ingredients dominate the flavor profile completely, instead they work together to create an essence that's tangy, slightly smoky, and lightly sweet. The mango is restrained and adds depth rather than sweetness, which keeps the salsa firmly in savory territory.

The heat level is moderate. It is spicier than Trader Joe’s Salsa Verde and roughly on par with their Salsa Autentica, providing noticeable warmth without becoming overwhelming. This makes it versatile enough for regular use without limiting it to spice enthusiasts, even if Sonia and I would prefer something a little hotter. Visually, the salsa has a pleasant orange color that looks fresh and appetizing.

Salsa Taquera pairs especially well with chicken or beef tacos, as well as taquitos, where its acidity and spice cut through richer flavors. It would also go quite well with fish or shrimp.

Although the name suggests a traditional Mexican origin or at least inspiration, this salsa is not a product of Mexico, so I assume it's produced in the good old U. S. of A. That said, the quality and flavor profile hold up very well even for Sonia the salsa aficionado...er, aficionada..?

Overall, Trader Joe’s Salsa Taquera is a solid, well-executed condiment at an affordable price. It delivers good flavor, balanced heat, and versatility. Would buy again. Eight and a half out of ten stars from both Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish & Chives

Nate's Notes: this product is seasonal and done for the year already. It's only available around Thanksgiving and Christmas time for some bizarre reason. This was the first year we tried it and wanted to bust out a review for the benefit of Holiday Season 2026. Nothing says "holidays" like horseradish, right?

Trader Joe’s Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish & Chives roll into your life like they’re here to do a job—and that job is structural integrity. These are thick, deeply ridged chips that feel like they were engineered by someone who hates flimsy snacks. They’re sturdy. They’re robust. They absolutely want to be dipped. If you’ve ever snapped a thin chip in half while reaching for French onion dip and questioned your life choices, these chips are your redemption arc.

The seasoning is where things get interesting. The salt level is dialed in just right—not bland, not salt-lick aggressive. The chive flavor is green, herby, and unmistakable, giving strong “savory dairy-adjacent” vibes without actually committing to dairy. And then there’s the horseradish. Oh yes. Trader Joe's Horseradish & Chives Chips bring that nasal-clearing bite that lets you know they mean business. Not painful, not prank-level spicy, but enough zing to make your sinuses sit up straight and pay attention.

That said, something’s missing. Specifically: creaminess. If your brain hears “horseradish & chives” and expects the cozy tang of sour cream and onion, you’re going to notice the absence. The flavor combo is bold but a little sharp around the edges. I kept wishing for a creamy, tangy element to smooth things out—something sour cream–like to bring balance to the force. Luckily, this is an easy fix: dip them in sour cream. Or French onion dip. Or anything vaguely dairy-based. Problem solved, marriage saved.

These chips would absolutely shine next to a roast beef sandwich, ideally one that’s flirting with a cup of au jus. The horseradish-chive combo just belongs in that beefy, deli-adjacent universe.

At $2.99 for a 7-ounce bag, these are an easy buy—and yes, we’d buy them again. Just maybe with a tub of sour cream riding shotgun. I think Sonia and I will both go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish & Chives.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Teeny Tiny Maple Butter Tarts

I have a habit of finding snacks at Trader Joe’s that I didn’t know I needed until they’re suddenly gone, and their Teeny Tiny Maple Butter Tarts fit squarely into that category. These little guys are imported from Canada, which already feels correct, because if anyone knows what to do with maple syrup, it’s our neighbors to the north.

Flavor-wise, these tarts absolutely deliver. The filling is sweet, rich, and unapologetically maple-forward. If you’ve ever had pecan pie and thought, “I love this, but what if we ditched the nuts and focused entirely on the gooey part?”—congratulations, this is basically that. The maple flavor is warm and buttery without tipping into artificial or cloying, which is impressive considering how small these things are.

The crust deserves its own shout-out. It’s flaky, buttery, and legitimately delicious, not just a structural necessity to keep the filling from escaping. Even better, there’s a generous amount of maple filling inside each tart, so you’re not biting into a hollow pastry with a sad smear of sweetness. The crust and filling feel well-balanced, which is not always a given with miniature desserts.

Preparation couldn’t be easier. Trader Joe's Teeny Tiny Maple Butter Tarts come frozen, and I tossed a few into the air fryer for about seven minutes. That’s it. No thawing, no fuss, no “rotate halfway through while chanting under a full moon.” They came out hot, crisp, and smelling like a Canadian bakery had briefly moved into our kitchen.

At $4.49 for a dozen, the value is solid. You get twelve bite-sized tarts for the price of one fancy coffee drink, and they feel a little more special than your average freezer dessert. Are they health food? Absolutely not. But the beautiful wifey and I could very realistically eat the entire box in one sitting without much resistance, which tells you everything you need to know.

Would we buy Trader Joe's Teeny Tiny Maple Butter Tarts again? Without hesitation. They're listed as "limited time" on TJ's website, so get 'em while you still can. Final score: eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Beef & Sweet Potato Recipe Stuffies Dog Treats

Nobody really pays any attention to these dog treat reviews. Even the video reviews get very little traction and I'm not sure why because our dogs are freaking adorable. So why keep doing them, you ask? Well, our dogs need treats and we shop at Trader Joe's, and putting our thoughts about their products online is just kind of a thing we do...like for the past 15 and a half years...to the tune of 2,600 products, give or take. But I digress...

Trader Joe’s has a knack for surprising us with quality products, and their Beef and Sweet Potato Recipe Stuffies Dog Treats have quickly earned a permanent spot in our treat drawer. As the proud humans of two very small, senior dogs—Alfred and Sadie—we’re a little picky about what makes the cut. These treats check all the right boxes.

First and foremost, we really appreciate that beef is the number one ingredient. When it comes to dog treats, especially for older pups, ingredient quality matters. Seeing a recognizable, protein-forward ingredient right at the top of the list gives us peace of mind that we’re not just feeding filler. The addition of sweet potato is a nice bonus too, adding flavor and a wholesome touch without overcomplicating things.

Another huge win for us is the soft texture. Alfred and Sadie are both small dogs with aging teeth, so crunchy or overly hard treats are a no-go. These Stuffies are soft and pliable, making them easy to break apart into smaller pieces. This is perfect for portion control and for making sure neither dog struggles to enjoy their reward. We often break one treat into two or even three bites, and the dogs never seem to mind.

Practical details matter too, and Trader Joe’s didn’t overlook them. The resealable bag is genuinely helpful. It keeps the treats fresh, prevents that dreaded stale smell, and makes it easy to grab a quick snack without transferring everything to a separate container. It’s a small thing, but it makes daily use much more convenient.

Most importantly, though, the dogs absolutely go nuts for these treats. The moment the bag comes out, both Alfred and Sadie are suddenly very alert and very motivated. If we’re being honest, Alfie might love them just a wee bit more than Sadie, but it’s close—and she certainly isn’t complaining. Tails wag, eyes light up, and treat time instantly becomes the highlight of the moment.

All in all, Trader Joe’s Beef and Sweet Potato Recipe Stuffies feel like a thoughtfully made treat that balances quality ingredients, senior-dog-friendly texture, and real-world convenience. Most importantly, Alfred and Sadie would wholeheartedly recommend them—and that’s the opinion that matters most. 🐾

See also our review of Trader Joe's Pumpkin Maple Bacon Stuffies.

$4.79 for the 14 oz resealable bag. We'd buy this again. Alfred will go with four out of four paw prints for Trader Joe's Beef and Sweet Potato Recipe Stuffies Dog Treats. Sadie will go with three and a half. Sonia and I will add on a bonus paw print for the convenience factor.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spicy Cheddar Cheese & Jalapeño Biscuit Bites

Trader Joe's Spicy Cheddar Cheese and Jalapeño Biscuit Bites will run you five bucks for 18 little disc-shaped appetizers. Conventional oven and air fryer instructions are given on the box. Most of you can probably guess which route we took.

Five minutes in the Ninja yielded hot, buttery mini-biscuits, somewhat crispy on the outside yet soft on the inside. They had a nice balance of breadiness, cheesiness, and spiciness. Surprisingly, they actually tasted like good, buttery biscuits and not just nondescript dough.

We dipped ours in ranch dressing and it worked out great. Sonia also tried adding spicy honey to hers. It worked for the same reason a typical buttermilk biscuit works with honey—except in this case both the sauce and the bread were spicy.

These were a pleasant surprise for both Sonia and me. They'd make pretty decent hors d'oeuvres for a Superbowl party. They're listed as "limited time" on traderjoes.com so I'm thinking they'll disappear soon. Hopefully they'll be back for the holiday season 2026.

Would buy again. $4.99, found in the frozen section. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Cheddar Cheese & Jalapeño Biscuit Bites. I'll follow suit.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Korean Japchae Fried Rice

Sonia and I are both quite fond of Korean barbecue, but we've never tried things like jumeokbap, kimbap, hotteok, and japchae outside of Trader Joe's. Fortunately, we've had good experiences with almost all of them. Let's hope that lucky streak keeps up.

Enter: Trader Joe's Korean Japchae Fried Rice. It's a product of South Korea. It's a fried rice medley with japchae sweet potato glass noodles mixed in. There's a great balance of flavors like the constituent veggies: shiitake mushroom, carrot, onion, green and red bell pepper, cabbage, spinach, and green onion along with spices like garlic, black pepper, and salt.

We heated ours on the skillet for about 12-13 minutes. We served it with lightly seasoned salmon. Sonia only added a bit of onion salt and black pepper to the fish so the flavors of the japchae fried rice could shine most brightly.

It's a nice umami flavor. It goes great with salmon, but we're certain it would go well with fried egg, tofu, or even bulgogi beef. We both think it's even better than the above-mentioned japchae noodle stir fry.

$3.99 for two big servings imported from the other side of the world. Found in the frozen section. Would definitely buy again. I'll give Trader Joe's Korean Japchae Fried Rice eight out of ten stars. The beautiful wifey will go with eight and a half.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Herbed Dinner Rolls

Check the ingredients on these dinner rolls. Though not necessarily in this order, we do indeed have parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. The Scarborough Fair Effect is in full force with these herbaceous bread bites, and we're rollin' with it. Get it? Rollin'? Cause these are rolls... <sigh> nevermind.

I appreciate all these herbs a little more now that I'm older. Once upon a thyme, they might have scared me off. And while they're quite distinct in the taste of these savory sides, they're not overpowering. They make the bread unique, flavorful, and festive.

To prepare, you simply throw Trader Joe's Herbed Dinner Rolls in the oven for five minutes at 400°F. They come out piping hot and feeling nearly fresh-baked. They're soft and easy to pull apart. They come in two "loaves" consisting of four pull-apart sections each. We ate some with our Christmas Dinner and we used them to make sandwiches with leftovers, cold cuts, and cheese throughout the following week.

We dunked them in tomato soup and they paired quite well. We spread garlic butter on some pieces and were fine snacking on them that way. They're surprisingly versatile and tasty.

$3.49 for the eight serving package, found with the baked goods. Product of Canada. We didn't even eat the whole thing before the "best by" date but it held up remarkably well. Would buy again for next year's holiday season. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Herbed Dinner Rolls.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Real Mistletoe

There haven't been many Christmas Day posts on this blog throughout its 15 year history, but once again we'll follow the precedent set by our Grump Tree write-up from a few years back and post about another living plant product from the Pacific Coast. I won't even call it a review, because I know very little about mistletoe, and what do I have to compare it to other than crummy wads of green plastic with little fake berries and twine?

I don't even think I've spontaneously kissed anyone under the mistletoe in my entire life. I mean, I grabbed Sonia the other day when she was standing within ten feet of the doorway where I've hung this happy little sprig and gave her a peck on the lips because I knew she'd appreciate the affection and attention. But I hardly need a wad of toxic evergreen leaves to smooch my wife of 16 years.

This is indeed "fresh" mistletoe. The little spiel on the back of the packaging says it's from "the Pacific Northwest" although it's not any more specific than that. It's real poisonous mistletoe. So don't eat it. Don't let your pets or toddlers eat it, either. I handled it with my bare hands and then ate some chips without thinking and I'm still here. So it's probably not all that potent.

It comes wrapped in a reddish bow and a golden twist tie. Yes. The sprigs are bound together with a twist tie like you use to bind up the top of a trash bag. But as twist ties go, this one is among the prettiest I've ever seen with its shiny gold hue. Our mistletoe didn't have any berries on it as far as I can tell. It's solid green except for the ribbon...and the gilded garbage bag tie.

For $2.99, you get actual mistletoe. No plastic stuff here. The box is pretty, with classic Joesian artwork on the cover. It's got a see-through window so you can make sure your mistletoe isn't rotted or anything. I think we'll stick it back in the box at the end of the season and see if it's preserved well enough to last until next year. We'll report back.

Sonia and I will go with eight out of ten stars a piece for Trader Joe's Real Mistletoe, found near the other seasonal greenery, flowers, and plants. Would buy again...probably? Anyway, merry Christmas to all! Thanks for reading!

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.