Trader Joe's Earl Grey Blondie Bars

I had very low expectations going into this one. Although nothing to complain about, I think Trader Joe's Brookie, with its nearly identical packaging and presentation, is a tad overrated. And I really wanted to like the Black Sesame Mochi, but its excessively earthy undertones overshadowed the sweetness of the ice cream by my estimation.

So I was skeptical, at best, of a blondie bar flaunting black tea as its primary flavor. I mean, I have nothing against Earl Grey. I like a London Fog once in a while. I'll even drink it plain if I just need an afternoon pick-me-up and don't want to add unnecessary calories. But I simply don't think of Earl Grey tea as a dessert flavor. Not by a long shot.

Trader Joe's Earl Grey Blondie Bars proved me wrong. There is, indeed, an earthy, slightly bitter essence at the core of these blondies, but it compliments the sweet vanilla caramel cookie flavors of the dessert quite well. The Earl Grey black tea adds richness and complexity without stealing the show.

They were perfect straight out of the plastic box, but Sonia discovered they're even better dunked in a piping hot mug of Earl Grey. The tea enhances the flavors and the liquid makes the soft texture even better. We plowed through the box very quickly making sure it was fairly divided equally between the two of us.

$3.49 for eight blondie bars, found in the baked goods section. Limited time release. Kosher. Would buy again. Sonia gives this product eight and a half out of ten stars. I'll follow suit with eight and a half as well for Trader Joe's Earl Grey Blondie Bars.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam Creamer

With Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam, $4.49 gets you 85 servings of yummy, convenient vanilla creamer. You read that right. Not eight and a half servings. Eighty-five servings. One tablespoon each.

It's like cold, creamy candy in a can. It's got a nice sweet, milky vanilla flavor, and the foam is nice and thick. It's a little syrupy and quite sugary. I mean, in theory, you're using it to sweeten and cream up your black coffee or something along those lines. One little tablespoon of this stuff is going to do your java wonders.

We had it with Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate. This cold foam provided the majority of the vanilla flavor by my reckoning. Sonia was a much bigger fan of that cold brew than I was. But we can both agree on this stuff. It's very tasty.

The ingredients are pretty good, too, using actual skim milk, cane sugar, and cream. I mean there are stabilizers and propellants in there, but the foam itself isn't made of unpronounceable chemicals. Only ten calories per serving!

Honestly, the value proposition here is kind of absurd when you stop and think about it. A little can like this doesn't look like much sitting in the fridge, but it lasts forever unless you're absolutely drowning every cup of coffee you make in foam. And unlike some store-bought creamers that disappear beneath the flavor of the coffee, this stuff actually announces itself. You taste the vanilla, you feel the creamy texture, and it gives homemade iced coffee a legit coffee shop vibe with almost zero effort.

The beautiful wifey will go with eight and a half out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam Creamer. I'll go with eight out of ten on this one. We'd both buy this product again. Kosher. Keep refrigerated.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Sonia is definitely more the coffee person in our house, and she most definitely appreciated Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate more than I did. I don't have any major problems with it other than I think it's a bit stingy with the vanilla flavor. The beautiful wifey thinks it's just about right in terms of the boldness of the coffee and the balance of vanilla.

Of course, you have to dilute the coffee. It wants two parts water or milk or milk alternative and just one part concentrate. And most folks will want to add sweetener of some kind. We used Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam (review upcoming) and we also tried it with plain old brown sugar. It worked either way.

The concentrate itself was smooth and surprisingly mellow for such a dark-looking brew. No weird aftertaste, no burnt bitterness, just a solid cup of cold coffee that tasted decent and perked us right up. Sonia especially liked how easy it was to customize depending on her mood and caffeine needs.

See also Trader Joe's Maple Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Coconut Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

and Trader Joe's Original Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

$8.99 for the bottle. It's kosher, shelf-stable until opened, refrigerate afterwards. Makes eight 12 oz cups of coffee. Sonia would definitely buy it again. I'll throw out seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate. Sonia gives it eight and a half out of ten. You should pay more attention to her score since she's way more into java.

Sonia's score: 8.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 7 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Italian Tomato Pasta Sauce Trio

Ten bucks gets you three tomato-based pasta sauces imported from Italy. Trader Giotto's Italian Tomato Pasta Sauce Trio is a limited-time release made with Pugliese tomatoes, and it features 1) a puttanesca sauce with olives, capers, and anchovies 2) a datterino cherry tomato sauce and 3) a tomato and roasted vegetable pasta sauce. Both Sonia and I liked the puttanesca sauce best, but we'll break down our observations of all three tomatoey toppings.

So...puttanesca is a funny word. The first part of it is quite similar to a not-so-nice word in Spanish that Sonia and I are familiar with, but the root word is also used in Italian. Apparently, the sauce is, in fact, referring to a style of cooking associated with women of ill repute. There are many theories floating about that attempt to explain the sauce's origins and its scandalous name, but both the beautiful wifey and I found it to have the most pleasant and interesting texture and flavor.

It's the heartiest of the three if only by virtue of the chunks of veggies floating through the mixture. There are plenty of green Chalkidiki olive slices and Kalamata olive slices, along with tiny bits of anchovies. I didn't notice any capers in our jar, but they are listed in the ingredients. The flavor is very salty and pungent. Like the other two, it's got plenty of tomato flavor, but it's the richest, earthiest, most complex flavor by a good margin.

Next up, we've got a sauce that's highlighting a particular species of cherry tomato known as the datterino. I thought for sure the beautiful wifey would enjoy this one the best since she's an outspoken tomatophile. I felt like this had the most pure, bright tomato flavor of the three sauces, but since I'm not really a fan of raw tomato, I didn't really gravitate towards it. Surprisingly this is also Sonia's least favorite of the trio, citing a one-dimensional flavor profile as its weakness. "It feels too plain," she stated. I don't disagree.

Finally, the Italian Tomato and Roasted Vegetable Pasta Sauce. This one actually tasted like roasted veggies and had a nice garlicky essence underneath everything. The zucchini, eggplant, and peppers definitely added to the flavor and the texture of the sauce, though we both think it could have benefited by doubling or tripling the amount. For both of us, this was the second best sauce in the pack.

None of the sauces were particularly thick in terms of the density of the liquid, but each had a nice natural tomato flavor and an authentic Italian spice blend. We'd pick this product up again just for the variety and the value. $3.33 per jar is a decent price point for a true European import and the presentation is nice. It'd make a decent gift. Let's get to our final scores for Trader Joe's Italian Tomato Pasta Sauce Trio.

Trader Giotto's Tomato Puttanesca Sauce with Olives, Anchovies & Capers: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Italian Datterino Cherry Tomato & Roasted Garlic Pasta Sauce: 7 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Italian Tomato & Roasted Vegetable Pasta Sauce: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burgers

Nate's Notes: This review was originally posted eleven years ago this month. Sonia and I decided we'd gone too long without a Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burger and decided to revisit the product, make a video review of it, and bump this old post. Turns out the quality is still there, the product is still great, and the price has only increased by 30¢ in more than a decade! It's gone from $3.69 for four veggie patties to $3.99. Our score from May 2015 still stands: 8.5/10 really darn good. And finally, I'll drop these air fryer instructions which are not included on the packaging: 400°F for 10-12 minutes, flip halfway. 

Thanks to the Hawaiian-themed grocery store called Trader Joe's, vegetarian cowboys are now a thing. What vegetarianism and cowboys have to do with the overall tropical island theme of the store, I'm not quite certain. But we've seen at least one other vegetarian cowboy-themed product, not to mention candy fit for cowboys and cowgirls, too.

I guess there's something earthy about cowboys—and there's something earthy about vegetarians and vegans as well. TJ's is just tying that all together for us. Or maybe they're aiming to challenge that stereotype of vegetarians being weaker than meat-eaters (I don't subscribe to that notion, by the way) by uniting it with the rugged machismo of the old western frontier. Regardless of all that, I'm fairly certain that more urban-dwelling hipsters will wind up eating this product than actual cattle-ropin' cowboys, if only because there aren't many Trader Joe's in the middle of cattle country.

Yet still, it's an amazing product. It's like a spicy black bean burger with chunky salsa cooked right into the "meat." It's not really one of those fake meat burgers that's desperately trying to taste like beef, so if it's a true burger you're craving, I say look elsewhere. But if you're adventurous and wanting something new, I'd encourage you to check this out. It takes the whole veggie burger thing one step further in terms of taste and texture. Not only is there quinoa mixed in with the black bean base, but there are chunks of peppers, corn, and whole black beans in the mix. It's a complex, hearty flavor with a slightly spicy southwestern vibe. I ate mine with a slice of asiago cheese and it blended perfectly. I mused about which condiments, if any, to throw on, and decided to eat it plain in the end. I'm a big fan of ketchup and mustard on almost anything that calls itself a burger, but in this case, I'd add a bit of extra hot salsa, if anything—but that's just my opinion.

We cooked ours on the stovetop in a tiny pool of olive oil. It came out firmer and crispier on the outside than on the inside, and overall, the product was a bit soft. If not held together by a bun, it might have fallen apart very easily. There's more substance in the peppers, corn, and beans than in the base of the burger itself—but still, I can't complain, since the aforementioned chunky ingredients were plentiful throughout.

All in all, it's not a great approximation of an actual beef hamburger, particularly in the texture department, but a delicious vegetarian lunch or dinner nonetheless. At $3.69 for four patties, it's a good value also. I'm always on the lookout for something unique and new, and this burger didn't disappoint. All you rugged vegetarian cowboys, saddle up!

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's PB&J Oat Bites and Trader Joe's Raspberry Oat Bites

So a brand called Bobo's makes little oat bites very similar to these, and for some reason both Sonia and I remembered Bobo's being bigger, but apparently they're the same size. We must have been thinking of Bobo's Oat Bars. At any rate, these whole grain oat-based bites from Trader Joe's are about the size of a golf ball and they come in two different flavors: PB&J and raspberry.

Weirdly, the raspberry one had a nicer texture than the PB&J version. It was a tad softer. While the PB&J one does indeed show peanut butter in the ingredients, there is no actual cache of peanut butter in the center of the oat bite. It appears the peanut butter is commingled with the rolled oats throughout the tiny snack. There is, however, a dollop of fruit filling in the center of both flavors. It's strawberry jelly in the PB&J kind. Both Sonia and I think it would have been stronger with a glob of peanut butter in the center along with the fruity jam.

Furthermore, the raspberry filling tasted better than the strawberry filling to both of us. It reminded me of the raspberry dip that comes with Trader Joe's PB&J Snack Duo. The flavor of the raspberry confection "popped" a lot more than its strawberry counterpart.

Sonia, ever the culinary visionary, immediately suggested crumbling these little oat orbs over a bowl of Greek yogurt, which honestly might be their highest calling. As is, they straddle that line between snack and dessert, but broken up into something creamy and tangy? Now we’re talking about unlocking their full potential. I could totally see them moonlighting as a lazy man’s parfait situation: minimal effort, maximum perceived sophistication.

At the end of the day, they’re a decent grab if you’re already cruising the aisles and feeling oat-curious, but they don’t quite ascend into must-have territory. The raspberry ones flirt with greatness, the PB&J ones just kind of linger in the background. Not a bad snack by any stretch—just one that leaves you thinking about how it could’ve been a little bolder, a little gooier, a little more memorable.

$3.99 for six little oat bites. Would probably buy the raspberry version again. The PB&J one isn't awful by any means, but Sonia and I both preferred the razzle dazzle—and I'm a huge fan of peanut butter. We both give seven and a half stars to Trader Joe's Raspberry Oat Bites. I give Trader Joe's PB&J Oat Bites six and a half stars and the beautiful wifey will go a half star lower.

Trader Joe's Raspberry Oat Bites: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's PB&J Oat Bites: 6.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon & Cream Yogurt

Trader Joe’s Meyer Lemon & Cream Yogurt sounds like it should taste like sunshine in a cup: bright, creamy, maybe a little indulgent. Instead, it's tart yogurt paired with sour lemon. Sure, there's a good bit of sugar in it, but I didn't feel like it showed up in the flavor profile.

Look, I love lemon. Lemon bars? Elite. Lemon curd? Dangerous. Lemon cake? I'm there. Lemon in snacks and desserts is usually a cheat code for deliciousness. But this yogurt forgets one crucial thing: balance. Yogurt is already tangy. Lemon is aggressively tangy. Put them together without enough sweetness to rein things in, and you’ve got a bit of a tartness overload.

The texture, to be fair, is perfectly fine—creamy, smooth, no weird chalkiness or separation. Structurally sound yogurt. For me, this lands squarely in the “I’ll finish it because I bought it” category, not the “I need six more immediately” tier. Not offensive, just not the lemony dream I was hoping for. It's like it wants to be lemon meringue, but it's simply not sweet enough to be considered a treat. I know, yogurt is supposed to be healthy. But I've had plenty of flavors of yogurt with less added sugar that tasted much better than this offering. Just off the top of my head, Trader Joe's Honey Crisp Apple Cinnamon Greek Yogurt would fall into that class.

Now Sonia, clearly the more optimistic member of this household, came in with a completely different vibe. She liked the lemon and cream combo, saying it struck a nice balance (we may need to recalibrate our taste buds). She did make a strong point: this would probably shine even more as a Greek yogurt, where the natural tartness would actually complement the lemon instead of competing with it.

She also had some genuinely great upgrade ideas: throw in diced walnuts or crushed gluten-free graham crackers and suddenly you’ve got a legit dessert situation. Or use it as a base for chia pudding or overnight oats—honestly, that’s a power move. Yes, it’s lower in protein than Greek yogurt, but that’s fixable with a scoop of protein powder if that's your thing.

If you like your yogurt very lemon-forward and don’t mind a heavy dose of tang, this might be more your speed than it was for me. If you’re expecting a creamy, sweet, lemon-dessert vibe…proceed with caution. $2.99 for four cups. Kosher. Sonia would buy again, while I would not.

Sonia's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Onion Style Pretzel Twists

Apparently, Trader Joe's Sweet Onion Pretzel Twists are a knockoff of a product from a brand called Stellar. Never had the Stellar twists, but I'm anxious to try them now. We snack on Dot's Pretzels from time to time and really enjoy their honey mustard offering in particular.

If there's any one flavor that sounds even more potentially delicious than honey mustard, it's sweet onion. And boy does this product hit the mark. It's sweet, it's oniony, and wouldn't you know it? The bread part of the pretzel is pretty tasty, too—almost buttery to my tongue.

There's just enough crunch to make the twists snacky and satisfying, and the wheaty goodness comes through in the flavor profile, as well. Also, they're not too hard. They crumble in a very pleasant way and there's almost a soft pretzel feel as you chew the product.

What surprised me most here is how balanced everything is. Sweet onion could easily go off the rails—too sugary, too artificial, too “chip dust in a bag.” But this walks a nice line. The sweetness never overpowers, and the onion flavor doesn’t veer into that sharp, lingering bite that sticks with you for hours. It’s mellow, rounded, and honestly kind of addictive in that “just one more handful” way that turns into five.

They also feel fairly versatile for a pretzel snack. You could crush these up and throw them on a salad for some sweet-savory crunch, or pair them with a dip if you’re feeling adventurous. We tried them straight out of the bag and had zero complaints, but I could absolutely see these holding their own on a snack board next to cheeses, cured meats, or even something spicy to contrast the sweetness.

$3.69 for the 12 oz bag. Kosher. We wish it didn't have canola oil, but even still, Sonia and I would both buy this product again. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Eight out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Black Sesame Mochi

Despite my feeble attempts to avoid reading or hearing others' opinions of certain products before trying them, I'd heard quite a few people stating how amazing Trader Joe's Black Sesame Mochi was before trying it myself. In some cases, that will push me in the direction of a biased positive opinion, not wanting to be the guy who says it's not that great.

In other cases, I'll get my hopes up. I'll expect something delicious to the point that if the product isn't over-the-top amazing, that I'll be disappointed to some degree if it's just okay. It's an "expectations vs reality" type problem.

I think the latter case is what happened here. This product...kinda tastes like dirt to me. It's like cookies and cream without the sweetness and only a fraction of the creaminess. If I were writing an ultra positive review, I suppose I'd be describing the flavor as earthy and nutty—which it is, to be fair. I might point to the product's restraint and subtle flavor as a plus.

Both Sonia and I love sesame. We like sesame seeds on breads and crackers, we like it as a topping for rice bowls and salads, and we enjoy other sesame derivatives like sesame oil and tahini. We're both even fans of crunchy sesame candy. If you're not sure what we're talking about, just do an internet search. There are dozens of brands that sell it now and plenty of recipes if you want to DIY. That candy tastes quite a bit like sesame...and so does this mochi. But I think that candy has a honey sweetness that balances the sesame's nuttiness better than the sugar in this handheld ice cream treat.

That's just me giving my honest opinion. I'm surprised the beautiful wifey agreed with me here. I think it's a flavor that could grow on both of us. It's unique. It's interesting. It's just more unusual to my palate than I was expecting it to be. Probably wouldn't buy Trader Joe's Black Sesame Mochi again, but I'd like to try other brands of black sesame ice cream just to compare. Blood Orange Mochi will still reign supreme in our household for the time being.

Found in the frozen aisle. Kosher. Gluten free. $4.99 for six mochi.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's New Zealand Organic Sliced Cheddar Cheese

Trader Joe’s Organic New Zealand Cheddar Cheese is a stellar sliced cheese selection. Imported from New Zealand and made with milk from grass fed cows, this certified organic cheddar comes in at just $4.99 for 8 ounces, and it punches well above its price point.

Right away, the texture stands out. Sonia mentioned it reminded her of Havarti, and that’s spot on. It’s creamy, smooth, and almost velvety as it melts on your tongue. This isn’t a crumbly, dry cheddar. It’s soft and pliable, which makes it incredibly versatile. Flavor-wise, it lands right in that sweet spot between mild and sharp. Aged 3–6 months, Trader Joe’s calls it “subtly sharp,” and I’d agree. You get a gentle tang and savory depth without any aggressive bite. It’s approachable but still very interesting.

I vaguely remember Trader Joe’s offering a different New Zealand cheese years ago that we never tried and honestly, I’d heard some negative reviews of it. If this is the redemption arc, it’s a strong one. This cheese is excellent.

It’s great for simple snacking. I loved eating it plain or stacked on crackers. It also made a fantastic grilled cheese, melting beautifully into a smooth, creamy layer without getting super oily. But the real standout moment? We put it on bison burgers with arugula, brioche buns, and just a few dabs of ketchup and mustard. That combination was next level. The cheddar melted perfectly, adding a buttery richness that tied everything together without overpowering the burger.

For an organic imported cheese at this price, it’s hard to complain. It’s versatile, flavorful, and easy to love whether you’re snacking or cooking. I’m giving Trader Joe’s Organic Sliced New Zealand Cheddar Cheese nine out of ten stars. Sonia comes in just behind me at eight and a half out of ten. Either way, this one’s definitely worth picking up.

Bottom line: 8.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Sweet Cream Creamer

If your morning coffee routine could use a little glow-up, Trader Joe's Organic Sweet Cream Creamer might be the easiest upgrade in the dairy aisle. The ingredients list is refreshingly short and every ingredient is organic. In a category where many creamers lean heavily on additives and mystery stabilizers, this one keeps things simple and classic. Even better, it costs $2.99 for a pint, which is a pleasant surprise when you consider big name competitors like Chobani and Nestle often charge more despite not being certified organic.

But price and ingredients only matter if the taste delivers. Fortunately, it does.

According to Sonia, the primary creamer consumer in our household, this stuff hits the sweet spot between rich and sweet without going over the top. It blends smoothly into hot coffee and adds a velvety texture that feels a little indulgent without tipping into dessert territory. The sweetness level is just right. Sonia reported that once she added this creamer, she didn’t need any additional sugar at all. That’s a small victory for both convenience and calorie counting.

The flavor is simple but satisfying—classic sweet cream. No artificial aftertaste, no chalky texture, just smooth dairy richness that rounds out a cup of coffee nicely. The beautiful wifey didn’t stop at coffee, either. A splash occasionally made its way into her morning oatmeal, where it added the same creamy sweetness and made breakfast feel slightly more luxurious.

As for me? I barely got a taste. Sonia moved through the pint with impressive efficiency, which might be the most convincing endorsement of all. Her one request for Trader Joe’s: expand the lineup. A few other flavor options would be very welcome. Until then, this sweet cream version is doing its job extremely well. I'll let the wifey score this one solo. She gives it nine out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake

If you’ve strolled past the bakery section lately, you’ve probably spotted Trader Joe’s Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake—a sunny little rectangle promising tropical vibes in baked good form. At $5.99 for a modestly sized sheet cake, it’s clearly aiming for that sweet spot between weeknight indulgence and “I guess we’re celebrating something?” dessert. But does it deliver peak coconut bliss?

Let’s start with the highlight: the icing. The cream cheese frosting is superb. It's lush, velvety, and decadently sweet without crossing into cloying territory. It spreads thick across the top in those signature ridges, and each bite delivers a creamy punch that honestly does most of the heavy lifting. If you’re here for frosting-forward desserts, you’re in good hands.

The cake itself? Good, but not stellar. It’s moist, tender, and pleasantly sweet, with a soft mouthfeel that pairs nicely with the frosting. You can definitely taste coconut, but it’s not overly coconutty. In fact, it’s almost cautious. The flavor leans creamy with a gentle toasted coconut note rather than bold, beachy intensity.

Which brings us to the coconut shavings. There really aren’t that many, and they're not that big. When you put “Toasted Coconut” in the title, you’ve set expectations. Coconut lovers want texture. They want aroma. They want to feel like they just fell face-first into a piña colada. As it stands, the cake is creamy and somewhat coconutty, but this is the moment to go coco-nuts. The coconut skeptics are already sitting this one out, so why not fully cater to the fans?

Still, as an everyday dessert, this mini sheet cake is undeniably tasty overall. It’s easy to slice, easy to share, and dangerously easy to keep “just trimming” the edges of.

Final verdict? Sonia gives Trader Joe’s Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake a solid seven and a half out of ten stars. I'll go with seven out of ten. Amp up the coconut, and this could be an eight and a half without breaking a sweat.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Simply the Best Trek Mix

If you’re looking for a sweet and savory snack that’s ready for the trails...or the couch, as the case may be, Trader Joe’s Simply the Best Trek Mix might catch your eye. Priced at $6.49 for a one pound resealable bag, this nut and dried fruit blend promises a premium snacking experience with almonds, cashews, dried pineapple, tart cherries, and cranberries. It's been on TJ's shelves for at least nine years, and possibly longer, though I cannot confirm it was around prior to 2017...if you remember it earlier than that, drop us a comment below.

Let’s start with the standout: the dried pineapple. In our bag, it was absolutely plenteous, and the chunks were enormous. If you’re a pineapple fan, you’ll be thrilled. The pieces are sweet and bold, adding a tropical punch that dominates the mix in a good way. It almost feels like a pineapple-forward snack with nuts as the supporting cast.

Speaking of nuts, the almonds and cashews are high quality and fresh. The almonds bring a satisfying crunch, while the cashews add a buttery richness that balances the sweetness of the fruit. There were no stale or shriveled nuts in our bag—always a win when it comes to packaged trail mix.

That said, the fruit-to-nut ratio wasn’t perfect. While the pineapple was generous, there simply weren’t enough dried cherries or cranberries to create the tart contrast we were hoping for. Those ruby red bites add brightness and complexity, and we found ourselves digging through the bag looking for more.

Another small drawback: the mix contains canola oil. While it’s common in packaged snacks, we can’t help but wish Trader Joe’s had opted for a different oil, such as EVOO or avocado, to elevate the ingredient list just a bit more.

Overall, Trader Joe’s Simply the Best Trek Mix is a flavorful, satisfying snack with excellent nuts and abundant pineapple, but a slightly unbalanced fruit distribution. The beautiful wifey gives it eight out of ten stars, appreciating the sweetness and quality ingredients. I give it seven out of ten stars, docking a point for the shortage of cherries.

Still, for $6.49, it’s a solid grab for your next hike...or Tubi binge.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bird's Eye Chile Hot Sauce

Trader Joe’s Bird’s Eye Chile Hot Sauce is here to remind you that yes, Trader Joe’s can, in fact, bring the heat. Three bucks gets you a 4.22 oz bottle of this South African import, which immediately sets it apart from the usual California-cute condiments lining the shelves. This stuff contains actual bird’s eye chile pepper—the same fiery little number that powers peri peri sauce and fuels many a Nando’s chicken obsession. If you’ve had TJ’s Peri Peri Sauce before, you’re in the right ballpark. Similar vibe, similar bright, punchy personality.

Flavor-wise, it’s not just heat for heat’s sake. It’s quite spicy, but there’s also this fresh, almost citrusy brightness to it. It pops. It wakes up your taste buds. It’s the kind of heat that feels intentional rather than reckless.

Now, let’s talk about the pour. This sauce is on the thicker side, at least compared to stuff like Texas Pete or Tapatio. At first, it doesn’t want to come out of the bottle. You tilt. You wait. Nothing. Then suddenly—glorp. A spicy blob lands on your food like it just parachuted in from Johannesburg. And because it’s fairly hot, you don’t want to overdo it but controlling the flow takes a little practice. Consider it a relationship you’ll need to work on.

Once you get the hang of it, though? Game on.

We’ve splashed it on chicken and rice, chili, burgers, pizza, pasta, roasted potatoes, eggs—basically anything that benefits from a little fiery encouragement. It plays well with everything. It’s not the spiciest thing I’ve ever eaten, but it’s easily hotter than anything Trader Joe’s has put out in recent memory. And more importantly, it tastes great. Unique. Bold. Memorable.

We’d both buy it again. Another thumbs up from both Sonia and me. Eight out of ten stars from each of us.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Homestyle Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola

Look, I don’t know who at Trader Joe’s decided to start moonlighting as a high-end pastry chef, but they deserve a raise, or at least a very firm handshake. For a mere five bucks, you get a 12 oz resealable bag of Homestyle Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola that tastes suspiciously like it belongs in a zip code I can’t afford to live in.

Apparently, this stuff is modeled after the legendary granola served at Eleven Madison Park in NYC. You know, the kind of place where the water costs more than my car insurance. But instead of a $400 tasting menu, you’re eating this over a chipped bowl while wearing pajamas with holes in them. Pure luxury.

The first thing you’ll notice? The scale of the "bits" in Trader Joe's Homestyle Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola. The cherries: not some sad, shriveled raisins-in-disguise. These are massive, succulent dried cherries that actually taste like fruit. The nuts: they didn't skimp. Pistachios and pecans are everywhere, providing a crunch that feels expensive. The coconut: there are oddly large slivers of coconut in here. I’m talking "could be used as a structural shim" large. It’s bold, it’s brave, and I’m into it.

The sweetness comes from maple syrup and brown sugar, which gives it a sophisticated depth rather than a sugar-rush-at-a-five-year-old's-birthday vibe. Plus, they used extra virgin olive oil instead of the usual industrial-grade canola oil. It makes the whole thing feel artisanal and posh.

The one catch? The texture is generally crunchy, pleasant, and nearly perfect, but keep your dentist on speed dial. Sonia found a cherry pit lurking inside one of those giant dried fruit pieces. It’s like a delicious game of Russian Roulette. Is it a snack? Is it a dental emergency? Only the first bite will tell.

Despite the potential for a broken molar, we're obsessed. This might actually be the best granola either of us has ever had. We'd love to try the real deal at Eleven Madison Park on our next visit to the Big Apple. I went with eight and a half stars in the video review, but now that I think about it, it's definitely Pantheon-worthy. Nine out of ten from me for Trader Joe's Homestyle Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola. The beautiful wifey will throw out nine out of ten as well.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish & Chives

Nate's Notes: this product is seasonal and done for the year already. It's only available around Thanksgiving and Christmas time for some bizarre reason. This was the first year we tried it and wanted to bust out a review for the benefit of Holiday Season 2026. Nothing says "holidays" like horseradish, right?

Trader Joe’s Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish & Chives roll into your life like they’re here to do a job—and that job is structural integrity. These are thick, deeply ridged chips that feel like they were engineered by someone who hates flimsy snacks. They’re sturdy. They’re robust. They absolutely want to be dipped. If you’ve ever snapped a thin chip in half while reaching for French onion dip and questioned your life choices, these chips are your redemption arc.

The seasoning is where things get interesting. The salt level is dialed in just right—not bland, not salt-lick aggressive. The chive flavor is green, herby, and unmistakable, giving strong “savory dairy-adjacent” vibes without actually committing to dairy. And then there’s the horseradish. Oh yes. Trader Joe's Horseradish & Chives Chips bring that nasal-clearing bite that lets you know they mean business. Not painful, not prank-level spicy, but enough zing to make your sinuses sit up straight and pay attention.

That said, something’s missing. Specifically: creaminess. If your brain hears “horseradish & chives” and expects the cozy tang of sour cream and onion, you’re going to notice the absence. The flavor combo is bold but a little sharp around the edges. I kept wishing for a creamy, tangy element to smooth things out—something sour cream–like to bring balance to the force. Luckily, this is an easy fix: dip them in sour cream. Or French onion dip. Or anything vaguely dairy-based. Problem solved, marriage saved.

These chips would absolutely shine next to a roast beef sandwich, ideally one that’s flirting with a cup of au jus. The horseradish-chive combo just belongs in that beefy, deli-adjacent universe.

At $2.99 for a 7-ounce bag, these are an easy buy—and yes, we’d buy them again. Just maybe with a tub of sour cream riding shotgun. I think Sonia and I will both go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish & Chives.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Maple Pecan Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe’s Maple Pecan Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate is one of those products that makes you do a quick double take at the price tag, then immediately start doing mental math to justify it. Ten bucks gets you eight servings, which works out to $1.25 per cup. On paper, that sounds a little bougie for something you’re still making at home. In practice, it’s still laughably cheaper than wandering into Starbucks and leaving with a $7 drink that has a paragraph-long name and enough sugar to power a small go-kart.

Flavor-wise, this stuff is interesting in a good way. The maple is front and center, but it’s not screaming “PANCAKE SYRUP” at you. Instead, it tastes like maple syrup that went to therapy and learned restraint. There’s almost no sweetness built in, which I actually appreciated. It lets the coffee stay coffee. If you want sweetness, you’re in full control. We tried it with date syrup, and that combo absolutely worked—nutty, rounded sweetness without turning the drink into a dessert masquerading as caffeine.

The pecan flavor is there, but don’t expect it to kick the door down. It’s subtle, more of a background note than a headliner. Think “someone walked by with pecans” rather than “pecan pie just entered the room.” Maple is clearly the star, with pecan playing a polite supporting role.

As for mixing, you’ve got options: milk or water. We tried both, and the winner was water first, then a splash of half and half. It keeps the coffee tasting clean while still giving you a little creamy luxury at the end. Straight milk was fine, but it dulled some of the nuance.

One important note: this is much better than Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate, which always felt like it was trying too hard. This one knows who it is.

Final verdict: Sonia would buy it again and I wouldn't stop her. It’s shelf-stable until opened, needs refrigeration afterward, and it’s kosher. Basically, it’s a solid, slightly fancy cold brew that won’t judge you for wearing sweatpants while drinking it. Seven out of ten stars from me. Eight out of ten from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Maple Pecan Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.