Trader Joe's Everything but the Bartender Cosmopolitan and Lime Margarita

It's a NEW kind of EBTB. This time we've got not one but TWO alcoholic beverages flaunting the delicious flavors of sesame seeds, minced garlic, dried onion, and poppy seeds! Er, wait. It's not that kind of EBTB. This is Everything but the Bartender, not Everything but the Bagel.

Makes sense. I don't think I'd want a cocktail with bagel seasoning in it. What we DO have are pre-mixed drinks that come in little 200mL cans. One is a cosmopolitan—a drink I'm not terribly familiar with, featuring vodka and triple sec. The other? A classic lime margarita—I'm somewhat more familiar with those. Proper margaritas are made with tequila and this selection is no exception.

The taste? Holy cow! They're both SWEET. Like bordering on too sweet, even for me. They have nice fruity flavors and you can taste all the constituent ingredients just fine. There's a bit more complexity and tartness to the cosmopolitan while the margarita is nearly candy-esque. For that reason, Sonia prefers the cosmopolitan. I enjoy them both about the same but I wouldn't seek either of them out for a repurchase.

The cosmo is $11 and the margarita is $12 for four cans each. We're looking at 15% alcohol by volume in both cases. The EBTB Cosmopolitan will get eight out of ten stars from us while Trader Joe's EBTB Margarita will get seven and three quarters.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Everything but the Bartender Cosmopolitan: 8 out of 10.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Everything but the Bartender Margarita: 7.75 out of 10.

Chinola Passion Fruit Liqueur

Neither Sonia nor I are super fond of heavy, syrupy liqueurs like this one by themselves, but as mixers, they can be interesting. Like the bottle suggests, this beverage is bursting with the flavor of passion fruit. It's very sweet and slightly tart, fairly thick yet velvety smooth and devoid of actual fruit pieces like your typical fruit nectar.

And let me tell ya', those Dominicans love their fruit nectars. I had a chance to visit the country on a mission trip in the early 2000s. We helped a little fishing village on the southern coast build a cinder block church on a concrete foundation. I sweated out what must have been about half my body weight each and every day down there. In addition to chugging obscene amounts of bottled water, I sampled these little white boxes full of fruit nectars including peach, pear, pineapple, and yes, even passion fruit. Somehow they were much more delicious than the fruit juices we typically find here in the US.

It wasn't particularly en vogue for the Christian missionaries to slip out of the bunkhouse to sample the local liquors, but if I'd been so bold, I might have discovered a Dominican rum or two back then. Chinola wasn't even founded until 2014, so I still would have missed out on the joy of passion fruit liqueur.

It's not bad on the rocks, but it's still quite syrupy sweet and thick. Mixed with a bit of rum and banana liqueur, it makes a delightful cocktail. It blends quite well with gin, as well. Sonia even enjoyed it mixed with actual banana and yogurt as a slightly spiked smoothie.

$25.99 for the 750 mL bottle. 21% alcohol by volume. Product of the Dominican Republic. Sold at Trader Joe's but not exclusively at Trader Joe's. Might buy again for a specific drink recipe. Sonia and I will go with seven and a half out of ten stars for Chinola Passion Fruit Liqueur.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Unfiltered Apple Juice

So...apparently most apple juice has all the cloudy stuff filtered out of it while this selection from Trader Joe's leaves it all in. It's still pasteurized and all that. Obviously, it's made with organic apples and there's no sugar or other juices added, so it sounds pretty healthy if nothing else. Let's see how it tastes.

It's good. I'd say it's slightly richer than your run-of-the-mill apple juice if that makes sense. It almost seems a tad less sweet, too, but not in a bad way at all. It's almost like half way between regular apple juice and apple cider to my tongue.

TJ's website mentions that there was an unfiltered apple juice on their shelves for 20 years that got discontinued in 2022 due to an organic apple shortage. Never heard about the apple shortage and I don't know if I remember that older version of this product. Sonia says she remembers it, but I don't think we ever got around to reviewing it for some reason. If you remember that product, let us know how it compares to this one in the comments.

$5.49 for the 64 oz bottle. Did we mention it's organic? Kosher too. Shelf stable until you open the bottle, it's found with the unrefrigerated juices. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Organic Unfiltered Apple Juice nine out of ten stars. I give it eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Espresso Martini

Trader Joe's Espresso Martini comes in a cute bottle and smells vaguely of coffee. It's not particularly sweet or creamy. It's 20% ABV. I've lived in big cities for half my adult life and I'm not sure I've ever known anyone who has owned martini glasses. Call me unsophisticated. I grew up in Appalachia. If you do know anybody who owns martini glasses, be sure to get chummy with them before you buy this product.

Just kidding. The bottle suggests serving it that way with coffee beans for garnish. But we're here to say that you not only need to chill the product, serve it with coffee beans, agitate it like you mean it, and put it in a martini glass to be palatable, but you also need to add cold foam or some sort of dairy product to approximate any type of espresso martini that is truly delicious or dessert-like in any way. Are we being too harsh?

No. Watch the video. Get our raw, uncensored thoughts about this beverage on YouTube in real time. This product isn't gross. It's not bad. It's just not worth ten bucks per bottle from my standpoint. Sonia and I lounge on our overpriced Lovesac Sactional and drink Trader Joe's Espresso Martini from non-martini glasses. It's YouTube gold. But the algorithm doesn't know that yet. Help us to educate it.

Oddly, the day after we shot the video, I attempted to re-agitate the bottle into a frothy foam, and it actually worked...at least sorta. I think the extra air in the bottle helped. It wasn't like a huge amount of creamy foam, but like the same little bubbly head you might get on the top of a pint of beer. It made the texture better and it may be my imagination, but I almost thought it tasted a shade better, too. Meh. Not enough to influence my final score.

Produced by Nomad Spirits in Los Angeles. That explains the lack of sweetness. Angelenos can't have much sugar or they gain weight and don't get the part on the daytime drama they're auditioning for. $9.99 for the 375 mL bottle. That's 12.68 oz. Kinda pricey. I wouldn't buy again. Sonia might if she had cold foam and a martini glass at her fingertips.

Sonia's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Coconut Smoothie

I wasn't expecting much from this product, but it's surprisingly sweet and chuggable. It's not boring like plain coconut water and it's not quite as thick as your typical coconut milk. It's actually coconut water blended with tiny bits of coconut meat. I was bracing myself for something terribly chalky consistency-wise, but it actually comes off as creamy and smooth despite the pieces of coconut.

At $2.69 for just 8 oz, it's on the pricey side. But as usual, you get what you pay for. This product is imported from Thailand and is made from Nam Hom coconuts—apparently a highly sought after variety—and it shows.

Many specimens I've seen online are pink. Even the ones on TJ's own website show a very pink liquid in the bottle. The description on the packaging says the product "may take on a rosy hue." Ours stayed decidedly white for some reason. I'm fine with that. Sonia is too. Eight out of ten stars a piece for Trader Joe's Organic Coconut Smoothie.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Aperol Aperitivo and Martellozzo Prosecco

Ever since Sonia saw Lily Collins downing multiple Aperol Spritz beverages on Emily In Paris, she's wanted to try the trendy Italian drink. So needless to say, she was excited when she spied Aperol Aperitivo on the shelves of our nearest Trader Joe's store. She also snagged an Italian Prosecco on the same shopping trip, though neither is TJ's store brand, obviously.

The only other things you need to make an authentic Aperol Spritz are ice cubes, some seltzer water or club soda, and an orange slice. We already had those on hand, although I'm pretty sure you could find any or all of the ingredients at just about any Trader Joe's—except the booze, of course. Did you know alcohol is only sold at TJ's in 14 states?

At this point I should also note that an Italian Spritz doesn't have to be made with Aperol. There are other brands like Campari and Pronto which are popular here in the States as well as Europe. I know Joe carries Pronto, and it's a bit cheaper than the Aperol.

I can't say what a Spritz tastes like when made with those other brands, but I can tell you that an Aperol Spritz is refreshing, citrusy, and unique. The finished product is a beautiful shade of light orange, and you can smell the fruity flavors wafting from the glass. Of course, you can make it sweeter by adding more Prosecco or more citrusy by adding a bigger orange wedge or less potent by simply adding more sparkling water. I used just a tad more wine than Aperol and a fairly large splash of Polar water because I like my drinks on the fizzy side. Of course, Prosecco has some carbonation of its own but not enough to offset the stillness of the aperitivo.

By itself, the Aperol is mildly bitter and strong. It's got an orange flavor, but there are also notes of grapefruit as well as something herbal or floral. It is considered a "bitter," but I'm told that it's actually sweeter than most other popular aperitivo brands.

$26.99 for 750 mL of Aperol Aperitivo, 11% alcohol by volume, imported from Italy. $8.99 for the Martellozzo Prosecco, 10.5% ABV, also dall'Italia. Would buy both again. Eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for the Aperol Spritz and its constituent ingredients.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Medium Roast Coffee K-Cups

This is only our second K-Cup review on this blog, but it looks like we've reviewed in the ballpark of a dozen other types of coffee throughout the years. As per my usual, I'll let the beautiful wifey do most of the evaluating and analyzing since she's much more into coffee than I am. So my contribution to this post shall be the following compilation of those other Trader Joe's brand coffee reviews:

Trader Joe's New Orleans Style Coffee with Chickory

Trader Joe's Chocolate Hazelnut Ground Coffee

Trader Joe's 100% Kauai Coffee Beans

Trader Joe's Autumn Maple Coffee

Trader Joe's Decaf French Roast Instant Coffee

Trader Joe's Bourbon Barrel Aged Coffee

Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Coconut Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Organic French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Black Cold Brew Coffee

Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee Bags

Your guess is as good as mine as to whether any or all of the above are currently available, but at least you know we've sampled our fair share of TJ's java over the past decade and a half. Sonia likes this one at least as much as any of the others. $5.49 for 12 K-Cups. If you'd like to know her specific reasons for liking this one (beyond just convenience and reasonable price) you'll just have to click on the video review below.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cranberry Clementine Sparkling Water

This might be the best flavored water yet from Trader Joe's. None of the flavors I've had are terrible, but this one stands out as being particularly refreshing to me. That subtle rush of citrusy orange...the whisper of tart cranberry...the perfect level of bubbly carbonation...it's really darn good all the way.

I'm not 100% sure, but I think this flavor is available year round, unlike the two most recent flavors we've looked at: Green Apple and Winter Sangria, both of which I'm fairly certain are seasonal. Not even sure if they have the Watermelon Lemonade at all still. 

Sonia says this one reminds her a bit of the San Pellegrino Aranciata flavor, which is more expensive and harder to find. Well, it's harder to find if you're going to Trader Joe's regularly, anyway, and I suppose you can order it online, but this Trader Joe's flavor is just about as tasty and sourced domestically as opposed to being imported from Italy.

$3.49 for 8 cans. What the heck happened to 12 packs? These water companies have us paying more for eight cans of water than we ever paid for 12 cans of soda. It's not just TJ's, it's Bubly, it's Waterloo, it's Aha, it's Polar. It's pretty much everybody. I think La Croix still sells 12 packs at a few places but they started doing the eight pack thing, too. I digress. Sonia and I give Trader Joe's Cranberry Clementine Sparkling Water eight and a half out of ten stars. We would definitely buy it again.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cocoa Berry Black Tea Blend

At the time I'm composing this post, the high today will be nearly double digits below zero here in the Upper Midwest. It'll be something like forty degrees warmer by the time this review goes live. So if you're reading these words, that means we likely survived the polar vortex in order to publish this article on the interwebs. Yay.

I'm virtually never in the mood for hot beverages. I'm generally chugging a Red Bull rather than coffee even if we're talking literal freezing temps outside. But when you're looking at early morning weather in the ballpark of minus fifteen...well, then even I might reach for a steaming mug of java, hot chocolate, or in this case tea—what appears to be a very unique tea, just looking at the description on the box anyway.

And unique it is. It's not as indulgent or as rich as the name "cocoa berry" might make it sound. It is, indeed, a tea, so all the flavors are subtle. It smells more like cocoa than it tastes. There's a faint berry essence and an even fainter chocolatey one. It's a tea blend that very much favors the addition of sugar and cream in my humble opinion. Or, like Sonia, you can turn it into a latte.

It's a black tea so it's got some caffeine. There's a mild invigorating quality to the taste. I'd have this for breakfast or a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. It's nothing to write home about, nor is it anything to complain about.

I was just about to say I wouldn't buy it again, but when I looked up the price, I had to reconsider. Two bucks for ten tea bags. The cute little box and fancy presentation make it something that might be nice to have on hand to offer to guests on cold winter days. Seven out of ten stars from me. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Cocoa Berry Black Tea Blend.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Hardywood Joe-Joe's Chocolate Vanilla Creme Stout

Mind you, I'm no expert, but I've had a handful of chocolate stouts and porters in my day, and none really stood out to me in a big way. Can't say this one is much different except for the fancy packaging. I think I've enjoyed coffee and peanut butter porters at least as much as the chocolate ones. Then there was that beer that was both coffee and peanut butter that we found at Trader Joe's a few years back. That post was scribed by my erstwhile Pittsburgh-based colleague, but I can't say I disagree with his sentiments about that particular brew in any case.

Hardywood Joe-Joe's Chocolate Vanilla Creme Stout has a nice rich dark beer flavor with some mild sweetness and chocolate essence. It's a good bit milky, too. As far as anything cookie-esque, you really have to use your imagination. I didn't find the alcohol flavor to be particularly harsh despite a relatively high ABV for beer: 9.2%.

I didn't do the pro bartender pour in the video since I was recording with my other hand, but the beer still managed to fill my pint glass without an excessive head—just a nice layer of light tan on top of the deep dark brown body. No major complaints. The chocolate beer paired well with peanut butter pretzels and yielded a vaguely Reese's-esque flavor combo.

Not sure how we wound up with the moniker "Joe-Joe's" on the can but not the Trader Joe's logo. I imagine the Hardywood boss guy was like, "If we're gonna brew this stuff for you, how many times do you really need your name on the package? You get two instances of 'Joe' and then 'Hardywood' gets top billing, and that's my final offer."

Big Joe liked the product well enough that he shook hands on the deal. We like the brew well enough, too. $3.75 for a single pint or fifteen bucks for a four pack. Seven and a half stars from both Sonia and me for Hardywood Joe-Joe's Chocolate Vanilla Creme Stout.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Something Spritzy Sparkling Beverages

If you're here to read about the festive version of Something Spritzy, then happy holidays! If you're here at some point in the future to read our thoughts on the original beverage in the blue can, then welcome! Happy Easter or 4th of July or whatever magical time of year you happen to be reading this.

Once again, there's a video review at the bottom of this post with more info than I'll be writing here, but I'll still throw you a bone and drop some bullet points. First, neither beverage is super sweet. Neither one is bursting with flavor. They're both quite subtle. You'll note that they're relatively low in calories, the red can with 80 and the blue can with only 60, respectively.

They both have fruit juices and cane sugar. The blue version is a faint pineapple and orange flavor, with Sonia noting that there's a grapefruit-esque essence and slight aftertaste. The red can tastes like orange to her while I note more cranberry flavor and a faint blend of holiday spices—like Wassail Punch, but not quite as good or as flavorful.

Each can is $1.99. I give Trader Joe's Something Spritzy original and festive editions seven and a half out of ten...and that might be a feel-good holiday-style don't-wanna-be-a-Scrooge kinda score. Sonia gives the red can a generous eight out of ten and the blue can seven and a half.

Bottom line: Something Spritzy Original: 7.5 out of 10.

Bottom line: Something Spritzy Festive: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Nate's Notes: This post was originally published on May 20, 2015. This is an instance where Sonia and I are in nearly complete agreement with the standing review, so we have nothing to add or subtract except: this product is now available in cans. Each beverage is still 12 oz and the ingredients and nutrition info are extremely similar. We didn't see that other ginger brew at our TJ's this year, so we grabbed these instead. Seems like it was originally introduced as a spring/summer beverage and is now year round..? Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer is still a very good product. Still a buck for an individual can or four bucks for a four pack. 

Need a cool, refreshing drink for a hot summer day, and something like maple water sound a little too silly and hipstery for ya? Well, how about some ginger beer?

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer is neither ginger ale nor is it alcoholic. Ginger ale, although occasionally delicious, is your basic ginger-flavored soda, of course. Ginger beer, on the other hand, is a beverage produced with via brewing and fermentation and the whole nine yards. Here's a guide on how to make your own to give you an idea of the process involved.

As for the outcome: delicious. Both Sandy and I are pretty big fans. There's very little carbonation, if any, which makes for a cool, crisp flow. Although not as harshly ginger-tinged as some other TJ's brews, there's still a good, solid ginger bite underflow adding lots of bitterness. Yet, there's plenty of tart sweetness to counteract it all, thanks mainly to the limes and sugar.

The taste isn't perfectly balanced or smoothed over, though. The first bottle we drank, it almost tasted like we were drinking two different drinks at the same time. When we looked a little closer at the bottom of the bottle, we saw some cloudy floaty stuff, which I'm guessing was some sort of combination of the lemon/lime juice and ginger that kinda settled after fermentation. Although the bottle says nothing about doing so, for the second time around both Sandy and I gave the bottle a slight shake and swirl to try and mix it all back up, and we both agreed that it tasted a little better after that.

Still, this is one pretty delicious drink for those warm, sticky nights up ahead. Plenty of ginger bite with some citrus-y zing is never a bad combo. If you insist on some boozy additions, I have heard (but not yet personally verified) that this ginger beer is a great choice for either a Dark & Stormy or a Moscow Mule. That's definitely on my agenda, and Sandy is even more eager to try that than me. And for this ginger juice, if your mind is on your money (or your money on your mind), you can buy these either separately for a buck each or grab a four pack for $3.99 - math geniuses, them. Definitely worth the try. Matching fours from the wifey and me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Winter Sangria Sparkling Water

More seasonal water from Trader Joe's. Get it while supplies last. Is winter sangria a thing? This water tastes like year-round sangria to me. It's like a faint fruit punch flavor with maybe a slight emphasis on grape—you know, like wine...sorta.

There's nothing to suggest that it's alcoholic or that it's even trying to emulate an alcoholic beverage. And I mean, in terms of alcohol flavor, even regular sangria isn't very potent. You're mixing like maybe 13% ABV red wine with zero alcohol fruit punch, so it's maybe in the ballpark of 5% alcohol depending on your wine to punch ratio. I digress.

This flavor is fine. It's festive, I guess. There's a bit of an aftertaste that I'm not a huge fan of, but it's not a deal-breaker. It's not that intense. I'd buy again next winter.

$3.49 for eight 12 oz cans. Kosher. Wouldn't all water be kosher, though? I guess not. I just Googled that real quick and I'm not even gonna touch that on here. We give this flavored water seven and a half out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Almond Protein Smoothie

Just a quickie for today. Sonia drank most of this beverage. I just tasted it and noped out pretty quickly.

It's chalky as I suspected it would be. I can also taste the pea protein underneath the chocolate and almond flavors. There's really not a ton of chocolate flavor, to be honest.

It was $3.49 for the 16 oz bottle. Sonia liked that it was filling and full of protein. She'd buy again in a pinch but wouldn't necessarily seek it out. I wouldn't drink it again.

Sonia's score: 6.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Apple Sparkling Water

Who the heck does seasonal flavors of water? Trader Joe's, that's who. Apparently this is one of them. I mean, we've talked about apple being a fall flavor and all, but you'd think they could offer this stuff year round for folks that really like it.

It's good. There's a whisper and a half of tart Granny Smith apple flavor. It's not soda. It's not sweet or heavy handed at all. It's a nice subtle sour apple essence in clean, refreshing, fizzy water. I like this one about as much as any of the other flavored sparkling waters at TJ's. Some people say that they mix it with other stuff to make exotic apple cocktails and stuff. I think those people are nuts.

$3.49 for eight 12 oz cans. That's pretty much exactly what you pay for any of the major brand name sparkling water packs like Bubly or Polar. I think this one is available in big plastic bottles, too. Sonia and I give Trader Joe's Green Apple Sparkling Water 8 out of 10 stars. This isn't the first time we've purchased it, and we definitely would buy it again. In the fall. Next year. Sheesh.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibos Herbal Tea

Although it's not exactly at the top of my list of go-to beverages, herbal tea can be comforting, soothing, and relaxing. There's a host of health benefits and often an enticing aroma. The flavor can be hit or miss in my experience, but with the help of sugar, honey, and other additives, you can usually make the beverage palatable if not downright delicious.

This brew is no different. By itself, it's a little on the bland side. The redbush blend is quite subtle, as is the pumpkin essence, and there's a whisper of pumpkin spices underneath it all. If anything, I think the pumpkin, cinnamon, and nutmeg is a little too understated here, but it's there. It's not an indulgent flavor in the slightest, even with the help of sweeteners.

I'm definitely more fond of the Harvest Blend Herbal Tea, which I'm fairly certain is still available at TJ's seasonally. Also reviewed on this blog: Trader Joe's Autumn Apple Rooibos Tea. Seems like that one may have been discontinued.

Really, to me, the most appealing aspect of this item is the fancy tin box that it comes in. Attractive, sturdy, useful for storage long after the tea is gone. $4.99 for 20 sachets of herbal tea. Kosher. Caffeine free.

Probably wouldn't reach for this product again since there are other options at Trader Joe's that I like more than this one. Put me down for six out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibos Herbal Blend. The beautiful wifey has a different take on this tea. You'll just have to watch the short video review if you want to hear her opinion and score.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Leelanau Cellars Witches Brew

When we lived in the Philly area, Sonia and I attended this Christmas village they do right in Love Park in Center City. It was a very cold evening and there were even a few snowflakes in the air. Enchanted by the beauty of the lights and Yuletide decorations, the beautiful wifey decided to embrace the moment by sampling one of the vendors' mulled wine beverages.

Within minutes, her pulse began racing and she became very short of breath. She had to sit down and relax immediately and just narrowly avoided fainting. We might have assumed they dropped some kind of drug into her drink if not for the fact I finished the rest with no noticeable side effects.

With my help, she managed to make it back to the SEPTA train and returned to normal within a couple hours of reaching our apartment. To the best of my knowledge, mulled wine is simply red wine infused with a few spices and served hot, but to this day Sonia has avoided it due to that odd reaction.

All that to say I'll be scoring this one alone. The beautiful wifey will be enjoying a nice vanilla blonde ale while I sip on this sweet spiced red. And yes, it is quite sweet. There's even a sweet-o-meter on the back of the bottle indicating that this brew gets a 4 out of 5 sweetness score. I'd say that's about right.

It's basically a fruity dessert red with a warm blend of fall spices. From a distance, it looks like a dark opaque red color, but in the light it looks like a slightly translucent shade of light purple. The particular ingredients aren't listed so I'm merely guessing at the spices here, but I'd say I taste clove, allspice, nutmeg, and maybe a hint of cinnamon and ginger. It's still more sweet than spicy in my book, but it's definitely packing more than just grapey goodness.

I tried it hot but I honestly prefer it at room temperature. I didn't feel the need to add a cinnamon stick or anything like that, but if that's your thing, have at it. I haven't tried it chilled or on ice yet either, but I bet it would taste a good bit like sangria, particularly if you tossed some fresh fruit into your glass.

$7.99 for the screw cap bottle. 12.5% alcohol by volume. Would buy again. I'll go with seven and a half out of ten for Leelanau Cellars Witches Brew.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Considering all the unusual things we've seen pumpkin-spicified over the years, cold brew coffee seems downright tame in comparison. Pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin spice coffee are some of the first pumpkin spice products I ever heard of. If they can make macarons, mochi, and madeleines work, you'd think cold coffee would be a walk in the park.

Well, maybe not. Sonia is way more into pumpkin spice beverages than I am, and even she has yet to find an acceptable cold coffee pumpkin spice product. Starbucks, Stok, Dunkin—none of them hit the mark according to the beautiful wifey. This Trader Joe's offering is no exception.

No matter what I mixed it with or how much I diluted it, there was still that notion that I was sipping on a scented candle. Sonia preferred the term "potpourri," but the essence is still the same. It just doesn't taste like good pumpkin spice to us, but more like a batch of chemical-laden cleaning products.

The bottle says to mix one part of the concentrate to two parts water or milk. It's slightly more palatable with milk, I'll admit, but still nowhere close to anything I'd reach for with any regularity.

Sonia has a bottle of Hollander's pumpkin pie syrup this fall, and she's been putting it in everything from beverages to breakfast foods and raving about it constantly. A generous dollop or three greatly improved the flavor of this cold brew beverage. Even I have to admit it's excellent stuff. Unfortunately, they do not currently sell it at Trader Joe's.

While I'm not a huge fan, Sonia likes Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Hot Coffee (which is apparently now available in K-Cups). But we both agree this particular product won't be a repeat purchase. $8.99 for the eight serving bottle. Five out of ten stars from Sonia. Three out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 4 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Hazelnut Ground Coffee

Alrighty then. We've got a quick coffee review for today. Chocolate hazelnut sounds pretty scrumptious, but when it's java, I'm always skeptical.

Sonia made this ground coffee in her Keurig. She has a reusable metal K-Cup that you can put ground coffee into if you're not using one of the pre-made pods. See video below.

The beautiful wifey says she distinctly tastes chocolate in the brew. I feel like I taste something nutty behind the "full-bodied" light roast coffee beans, but I wouldn't say I detect chocolate in any significant way.

We were both okay with drinking it black, but I didn't enjoy it more than any non-flavored coffee I've ever had. Sonia liked it fine plain but she appreciated it far more with vanilla syrup and half-and-half added.

Seven bucks for the 12 oz bag. Sonia would buy it again. I'll let her do the honors today. She gives Trader Joe's Chocolate Hazelnut Ground Coffee eight out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's & the Art of the Still Organic Gin

Far from an aficionado, I do tend to gravitate towards gin over whiskey, rum, or vodka. This product is widely available at TJ's locations that carry hard liquor, so it was inevitable that I'd eventually try and review it, despite it not being a top-shelf gin product.

The only thing that could be considered truly offensive about this beverage is its harsh alcohol flavor that tends to overshadow any botanicals or spices that might be lurking in the depths of the tall, thin bottle. That's to be expected when you're looking at a $15 product with 40% alcohol by volume. (Price may vary from time to time and place to place).

When I first started sampling different liquors, I would always describe gin as "tasting like a forest." That foresty flavor I'd later find out was, in fact, juniper. There's a faint bit of it here in Trader Joe's Art of the Still Organic Gin, but it's not as juniper-forward as more expensive gins tend to be.

I taste something akin to clove at the finish of this drink. I couldn't say if that's what it actually is, but there's a whisper of something along those lines in this gin. It serves well as a mixer, with even something as simple as tonic water covering up many of this product's imperfections with its subtle sweetness. 

If you're looking for something that's sippable in its own right and a bit higher quality overall, I'd recommend House of Suntory Roku Gin, also widely available at Trader Joe's stores, retailing for about ten bucks more per bottle than this offering.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.