Trader Joe's Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Half the time I review Trader Joe's brand cookies, I'm complaining: "Oh no, not more cookies." I mean, Sonia and I are constantly looking for items that have never been reviewed on this blog before, and virtually every time we do a TJ's run we're like, "Oh look, fifteen new varieties of cookies we can review."

I mean, you don't have to hold a gun to my head to get me to eat cookies, but man, it takes something super impressive to get me excited about them these days. I don't mean to be a Downer Dan, but most Trader Joe's brand cookie reviews on this blog are lackluster at best.

Unfortunately, that will be the case with Trader Joe's Chocolate Chunk Cookies. At least give them an exciting name: Trader Joe's Chunkolate Cookies. Can't go wrong with a portmanteau. Or throw a tagline on the bag: "Trader Joe's Chunky Cookies ARE chunky, and they'll MAKE YOU chunky, too!"

But what we have here are very standard chocolate chip cookies with slightly larger-than-normal pieces of chocolate. These aren't the first "chocolate chunk" cookies I've had, and they're definitely not the best. I guess it's kinda neat when you get a bite with a bunch of chocolate, but honestly, I wouldn't even say there's more chocolate in each of these cookies than an average chocolate chip cookie. The chocolate is just concentrated into one or two "chunks" rather than half a dozen "chips."

The bread part is so-so. Truly nothing original or Trader Joe's-esque is going on here. I'm on the record saying I like soft and chewy cookies better than crispy ones, but man, these are just boring. Throw in some coffee, mango, or ube next time, TJ's. We'll finish the bag but we won't buy again.

$4.49 for 8 cookies, found by the other baked goods. I guess the cookies are fairly large, but I still think that's a bit too much money for what you're getting. Two and a half stars from me. Three and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Chocolate Chunk Cookies.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Snacky Clusters

Sometimes I wonder if the people who come up with these products aren't, you know, like really high when they think of ideas for new items. Truth be told, I've never smoked weed. Absolutely no judgment if you do. Honestly, I think I'd do pretty well with the stoner crowd. Those folks seem nice and chill.

I've never even had edibles. I mean, there was this one time in college when I was at a party, and I was super hungry, and this pan full of fresh-baked brownies appeared on the coffee table in the living room. I grabbed a couple because my blood sugar was very low and I absolutely inhaled them. I started feeling really funny after that. I never figured out if it was just like a huge blood sugar spike or if they were "special brownies." Guess I'll never know for sure.

So you can probably see where I'm going with this. If you've got a hardcore case of the munchies, chocolate-covered Fritos, Lay's, and Rold Golds probably sound not just edible, but incredible. When you're stone cold sober, maybe...not as much?

So I did an experiment. I had a couple shots of gin as an aperitif while Sonia sipped on wine, and sure enough, these weird, crunchy, chocolatey concoctions suddenly sounded not only eatable but downright enticing. I didn't finish the bag, but I made a dent in it for sure. Sonia was still not quite sold even after a nice glass of red—and I mean, red wine and chocolate go together better than gin and chocolate...

This isn't even the first instance TJ's has sold us chocolate covered potato chips. And of course, their chocolate covered pretzel varieties are legion. But corn chip dippers? That is a little weird. I can see why Sonia is having a hard time getting past it.

$3.99 for the bag. Three out of five stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Munchies Clusters...er, sorry, Snacky Clusters.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ube Mochi

I neglected to post the nutrition information in the video review, so I'll post it here. And just so you're not looking at a weird skinny vertical pic in the middle of a white screen, I shall let this post serve as Ube Central, and it will contain all ube related links from our blog.

Man, when TJ's latches on to an idea, they really run with it. It was once referred to as "Purplepotatopalooza" by Mr. Shelly. I like that.

PURPLEPOTATOPALOOZA:

Trader Joe's Ube Purple Yam Ice Cream

Trader Joe's Ube Mochi Pancake & Waffle Mix

Trader Joe's Ube Tea Cookies

Trader Joe's Ube Pretzels

Trader Joe's Ube Spread

Trader Joe's Ube Joe-Joe's

I guess that's it. Did we miss any?

Four and a half stars from Sonia. Three and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Ube Mochi.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Trio of Soft Licorice Twists

Sonia and I got to talking about licorice the other day. It's odd that seemingly everybody in our parents' generation was somehow into black licorice—like it reminded them of their childhood or something. I'm not a huge fan of black licorice, but I'll nibble on it once in a while. I'll save the licorice flavored jelly beans for last, but I'll eventually eat them. The beautiful wifey, on the other hand, HATES black licorice.

We're both cool with fruit flavored licorice, though. In my teens in Pennsylvania, I'd go through a pack of strawberry Twizzlers during the course of a two hour movie at the theater—generally only if they were sold out of Starburst. As a youthful California girl, Sonia would occasionally partake of Red Vines.

These aren't the first soft licorice candies we've seen from Trader Joe's over the years. See: Black, Strawberry, and Berry flavors. Here we have raspberry, mango, and green apple for your snacking pleasure. So...how are they?

They feel like typical licorice—firmer than gummy candy, but still soft—less chewy than taffy, but still pliable. These licorice pieces seem oddly thick to me. They're easily two or three times the diameter of a Twizzler but not as long.

Taste-wise, I was hoping they'd be a little bolder. The mango flavor is probably the strongest of the three. I was also hoping the green apple would be a little more tart. Sour apple is always a winning candy flavor in my book.

I almost feel like I can taste the wheat flour and glycerin as much as the fruit flavor. I mean, the flavors are good, they're just not strong enough. Sonia and I both want a sour version of these with sour apple green, sour raspberry purple, and maybe a sour lemon yellow.

As it is, I think we'll throw out three and a half stars a piece for Trader Joe's Trio of Soft Licorice Twists. $2.49 for the 7 serving bag.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate & Vanilla Bean Swirl Gelato

Three and a half stars from Sonia. Three from me for Trader Joe's Chocolate & Vanilla Bean Swirl Gelato.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Daelmans Caramel Stroopwafels Minis

 

Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins

Ah, here we have an "Old World Recipe." No doubt these tasty morsels were concocted by The Great Old Ones in their storied city R'lyeh. Perhaps Cthulhu himself combined the delicious flavor of butter cookies with the sweet and tangy zip of juicy Meyer lemons and offered the resulting thins to his demonic brethren as a tide-me-over snack in between devouring hapless human victims.

Or, perhaps, Trader Joe is referring to the European Renaissance rather than characters from a loathsome Lovecraftian lineup. Now that I've scoured the box for clues, it appears that indeed it's the latter assumption that's correct and you can safely disregard all that nonsense in the opening paragraph. Something something something about 19th century sailors and women using lemons for lipstick and kings gifting one another lemons because they were so hard to come by back then. Who knew?

I could see kings gifting each other Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins even nowadays because they're quite delicious. They're like those really thin and crispy snickerdoodles, texture-wise. They're buttery like them, too. But instead of cinnamon and spice, there's a pleasant wave of lemon flavor.

Lemon always feels like a summer flavor to me, and these cookies are no different. Despite the butteriness, they don't feel overly filling, dense, or oily. They're light and crispy yet also somehow very flavorful.

In general, crispy cookies aren't my thing, but this selection gets a thumbs up from me. I'd almost want to call them "dessert crackers" instead of "cookies," you know, if dessert crackers were a thing.

I've tried these dessert crackers plain, with cream cheese, and with vanilla ice cream. They're awesome in every instance. I'd try my dessert crackers with lemon ice cream or lemon sherbet if I had some.

Sonia likes them a lot, too. $4.49 for the 9 serving box is a little pricey IMO, but as usual, you get what you pay for. These things are high quality. Plus there are two separate sleeves of cookies so one half of the package can stay wrapped up while you eat the other half. Double fours on Trader Joe's Old World Recipe Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars

In between exotic imported spices, purple yam-flavored cookies, and other miscellaneous oddities, it's nice to know there's still plenty of "normal" stuff at TJ's, as well. Sometimes a chocolate chip granola bar is in order, and you don't want anything weird in it.

I mean Trader Joe's Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars are organic, which is good, but that's where the Trader Joe-isms stop with this classic snack/breakfast-on-the-go.

With whole grain oats, brown rice flour, and unsweetened dried coconut in the chewy, solid base, there's plenty of complex carbs and healthy stuff to keep you feeling full throughout the day. The rest of the ingredients are organic sweeteners like honey, agave, cane sugar, and tapioca syrup.

The bars could probably use a few more chocolate chips. There were definitely a couple bites in each one without any chocolate. The whole grains and sweeteners are tasty enough by themselves that the lack of chips is certainly not a dealbreaker here.

Texture-wise, they're nice and soft. "Chewy" is as accurate a word as any. This box sat in our pantry for at least a month and the bars still felt and tasted as fresh as any pre-packaged granola bar I've ever had. I must point out it is quite warm here now. These types of granola bars tend to get much harder when consumed in colder temperatures.

$2.49 for 8 bars. Each one is individually wrapped, and honestly, they're on the small side. They're just big enough to curb the munchies and keep the blood sugar levels up, but they're on the verge of being so tiny that I'd be tempted to reach for a second.

Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Organic Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread

Not sure what made me pick this one up. I guess I was jonesin' for some "maximum cracker satisfaction." At least that's what it says on the label. What did you just call me, Trader Joe?

Anyway, these sound interesting enough. Sunflower, sesame, rye, oats, flax all in one crispy bite can't be bad. I hadn't remembered, but we looked at a gluten free version of these on the blog some time ago.

One thing I hate about crackers is crumbs. We have ants in the house around this time every year and we don't need to give them one more reason to wander into our kitchen. Guess I'll be enjoying these crackers over a bowl.

First thoughts: it's a nice balance of flavors here. The sesame seeds might be a tad overrepresented for my taste, but all in all Trader Joe's Crispbread is earthy, seedy, super crispy, and lightly peppery. I was fine eating the crackers plain. Yes, it's a bit weird, but when I'm stressed, as I have been lately, sometimes all I want is something very stark and basic.

I did try the crackers with plain cream cheese, which was pretty tasty. That's Sonia's favorite way to eat them. They paired quite nicely with peanut butter, too, if you ask me. There are all sorts of elaborate ideas on the interzones about how to serve crispbread involving fruits, eggs, exotic cheeses, hummus, pesto...basically anything you can think of. Alas, we did not get that fancy with the crispbread as of the time of this post's composition.

$2.99 for ten large whole grain crackers. Would buy again. Looks like three and a half stars a piece once again from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread Norwegian Crackers.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Molasses Cookies

Dangit. Thought I would make it two weeks without reviewing more cookies. I've mentioned recently that our cookie review count is in the ballpark of 100 just on this blog alone. And that's no exaggeration. We've literally done about a hundred reviews of Trader Joe's brand cookies here. And I don't mean "literally" in the way the youngsters use it: like "OMG when he said that, I LITERALLY died!" I mean it like the way it's supposed to be used.

Why is it always cookies? Why can't Trader Joe's make more donuts? I think we've reviewed about four types of donuts over the course of nearly thirteen years. They could call them Joenuts. That's way more clever than "Joe-Joe's."

Anyhow, I'm sick of cookies, and I'm not a huge fan of molasses, so naturally, I picked up a box of 12 Trader Joe's Molasses Cookies on my last Trader Joe's run. Why? Because I was hoping they tasted more like brown sugar than molasses. Fortunately for me, they do.

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Cookies are soft and chewy enough, not crispy. They do have a faint molasses flavor underneath the brown sugar, and there's a nice blend of throat-warming spices like cinnamon, ginger, and cloves. They're nearly gingerbread-esque, but if you put the word "gingerbread" on a product outside the month of December, Santa's elves will slap you with a hefty Christmas infringement fine.

Sonia liked these, predictably, a little more than I did, but we both agree they're good. Maybe even a little better than we expected. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three from yours truly for Trader Joe's Molasses Cookies.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack

If you're one of those hamburger and French fries for every single meal kind of folks, I think you're gonna wanna sit this one out. Nothing wrong with hamburgers and fries. Nothing at all. It's a classic American meal. I like burgers as much as the next guy.

But variety is the spice of life, as they say. Also, spice is the spice of life. In this case, it's "togarashi style seasoning." Well, that sounds very Japanese. A quick glance at Wikipedia confirmed that suspicion. I'm excited now. Let's break open this very bright yellow bag, shall we?

It's not just seaweed snacks. It's seaweed snacks coated with tempura and spice-ified with Japanese pepper. There are little bubbles in portions of the tempura batter that almost look like tiny octopus suckers. And the seaweed itself looks like fish skin. If you wanted a kid to eat this for some reason, you could tell him it's dried meat from a sea monster and he might believe you.

Although it is fairly spicy. Not sure if young kids would tolerate the spice level here. It's like maybe a 6 on a scale of 1-10. Perfect for my taste. I might have even tolerated a notch or two beyond what's here, but the heat builds up on your tongue the more and more you eat. Trader Joe's Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack might pair nicely with an ice cold Sapporo or Asahi. Man, I haven't had either one of those in a long time. But I sure do wish I had one right now.

The main weaknesses of this product versus traditional seaweed snacks are: the price. You can get a couple dozen seaweed sheets for half the price of this product. And regular seaweed snacks are pliable enough that you can wrap them or roll them up with other foods inside them. These are too brittle to be used that way.

$3.29 for the two serving bag. Product of Thailand. I just got this a couple weeks ago and I see no evidence that it's still being sold at TJ's. Anybody have any inside intel? I'd consider buying again, especially if I had a particular craving...and a Japanese beer to go along with it. Three and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack. Four from Sonia.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheesecake-Inspired Truffles Collection

How cute. Cheesecake slices for dolls. I mean, I'm a dude, so you know...cheesecake slices for action figures. When we were kids, we'd take our G.I. Joe toys and set them up with my friends' sisters' Barbie dolls. They'd fraternize, eat tiny cheesecakes together, and then they'd get a little amorous, you know? Things might have gotten a little frisky between the Joes and the Barbies. But then Sergeant Slaughter would realize his pants were fused onto his legs, so things never really got out of hand.

Anyhow, tiny cheesecake slices. They're "truffles" that are "cheesecake-inspired." I've always been a big fan of cheesecake. Truffles? They're kinda hit or miss. I don't generally gravitate towards them. But cheesecake-inspired truffles are worth a whirl, I figure.

And yes, the morsels in Trader Joe's Cheesecake-Inspired Truffles Collection are awesome. They do indeed taste like cheesecake. Texture-wise, they're close to real cheesecake. It's like cheesecake but not as dense. They feel like whipped cream cheese on the inside. The outside is like your typical candy shell or thin layer of chocolate.

I LOVED the two fruit flavors: lemon and raspberry. Sonia agrees about raspberry but not lemon. I have no idea why. I almost felt personally insulted when she mentioned she wasn't as big a fan of the lemon flavor. They're both super tart and super sweet. I guess there's more tartness in the lemon flavor—a bit too much for Sonia, apparently.

She loved both of the non-fruit flavors. I liked them okay, especially the vanilla one. The caramel one was my least favorite, and even it's nothing to complain about. I think the salted caramel flavor just overshadowed the cheesecakiness to some degree.

If they made a box with four different fruit cheesecake flavors, it would be a shoo-in for this blog's Pantheon. They should keep lemon and raspberry. I'd also add orange cream, cherry, strawberry, and/or blueberry.

$4.99 for eight miniature cheesecakelets. Would buy again. Perfect as a gift or to substitute any occasion you might buy one of those boxes of chocolates with mystery truffles. Eat your heart out, Forrest Gump. I give Trader Joe's Cheesecake-Inspired Truffles Collection four stars. Sonia does too.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ube Joe-Joe's

Trader Joe's is really running with this ube thing. Weird, right? Purple yams. Apparently they've been popular in Filipino food since time immemorial. TJ's has done ice cream, pancakes, tea cookies, pretzels, and spread so far. Why not make ube-flavored sandwich cookies?

Well, I can think of one reason: nobody is asking for them.

Ahem, but nevertheless, Trader Joe's will go ahead and give it the old college try and roll out a surprisingly tasty cookie, even if perhaps a bit odd. Let's open our little rectangular box and get reviewing.

What's working in Trader Joe's Ube Joe-Joe's: 

1) they used vanilla cookies. Chocolate or coffee or ube or anything else simply wouldn't have worked. Vanilla is neutral enough to let the yammy flavors through.

2) The coating. The "yogurt candy" on the outside of the cookies creates an air-tight-ish seal and prevents the cookie parts from getting stale so quickly. It's also sweet, creamy, and yamtastic.

3) The filling. More violet root vegetable action here. Again, sweet. Again, creamy. Again, yammy as heck.

What's not working: I DON'T WANT ANY MORE SANDWICH COOKIES FROM YOU, TRADER JOE. Stop making sandwich cookies. Stop making cookies, period. Stop making new flavors of Joe-Joe's. Just stop it. Stop trying to make me fat with your organic junk food. Heck, is this even organic??

I'm warning you. One of these days, I'm going to give your cookies a bad review. Just you wait.

$3.49 for the sleeve of eight cookies. Perfectly delicious cookies that I would NOT buy again because I don't need any more dang cookies. Seriously. And even if I wanted to buy them again, they'll be discontinued in favor of Trader Joe's Pawpaw Durian Jabuticaba Joe-Joe's or some other such nonsense. Bloody heaven.

Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Ube Joe-Joe's Vanilla Flavored Sandwich Cookies with Ube Creme in an Ube and Yogurt Candy Coating.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Brookie

Peanut butter makes everything better. Jam and bread is just fine by itself as a side item on a breakfast spread. Add peanut butter to it, make a sandwich, and you've got a whole meal. A banana and yogurt smoothie is great. Add peanut butter, and you've got a hearty, nutritious shake that can serve as a meal substitute.

It makes delicious salsa even better. It makes caramel popcorn even better. It makes chocolate pretzels better. And yes, it makes Crownies...er, Brookies even better.

It's just a peanut butter cookie smooshed onto a brownie. It's not fresh-baked or homemade or worthy of too many accolades, but it's a pretty tasty treat if you ask me. Peanut butter and chocolate always work together. Cookies and brownies together aren't bad.

Both the cookie element and brownie element are pleasantly soft and chewy. There's a fairly decent balance of flavors, too. There are actual pieces of peanut in the cookie part and chocolate chips in the brownie. Sonia and I both prefer Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Brookie to the original, but then, we both like peanut butter quite a bit.

$4.49 for 8 kosher cookie-brownie squares. It's a half ounce less in weight than its predecessor. Not sure if that's shrinkflation or if peanut butter cookies are a little lighter than chocolate chip cookies.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Blueberry & Lemon Hand Pies

Blueberries and lemons are two of my favorite fruits. They're maybe my two most favoritest fruits of all time. That's right: most favoritest.

But you don't see them together all the time, do you? I don't know if the combo would work in every context, but it worked well in Trader Joe's Blueberry & Lemon Hand Pies. The sweetness of the blueberries and the tartness of the lemon went quite well with that buttery, bready crust. The blueberry flavor hit right up front while the sour lemon crept up on us slowly after a number of bites.

For the most part, the crust was flavorful and supple. It was a little soggier than I was expecting, particularly in the middle. It was firmer and flakier towards the edges of the pastry—similar to the Apple and Pumpkin Hand Pies. It was almost as if the middle soaked up a bunch of that plentiful filling, which oozed out the sides as I dug into the dessert with my fork.

I wouldn't have minded more whole blueberries in the filing. It was pretty smooth, which is fine, but I was expecting big plump berries that added some texture and burst with flavor when you bit them. All things considered, it was a very tasty baked good, absolutely worth the calorie/fat splurge for a special occasion or cheat day or if you're just not into the whole "fitness thing."

$4.49 for the two pies. It's a little pricy for grocery store fare, but the quality is just about on par with a specialized pastry shop, where you'd probably pay a lot more. Kosher. Would buy again. Shout out to reader April for the rec, who said "they taste like happiness and sunshine." Spot on!

Four stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Blueberry & Lemon Hand Pies.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Double Chocolate Wafer Cookies

Freakin' cookies, man. Cookies, cookies, cookies. How many types of cookies does Trader Joe's need to offer, really? Butter cookies, sandwich cookies, sugar cookies, oatmeal cookies, tea cookies, crispy cookies...and of course, wafer cookies. I mean, I'm a fan of the texture of wafer cookies, but I'll bet we're pushing a hundred different types of Trader Joe's brand cookies reviewed on this blog over the years, so it's gonna take something really special to wow this guy.

Trader Joe's Double Chocolate Wafer Cookies taste like dark chocolate to me. I want them to be sweeter. Sonia loves them, but she wishes they were "less chocolatey." She wants double chocolate cookies that are somehow less chocolatey. I'm sure Trader Joe's will offer a 1x chocolate wafer cookie in the future if they haven't already, but for now she'll have to settle for the 2x variety. Don't worry, I'm sure the triple chocolate version is in development for those of you who don't think these little guys are chocolatey enough.

Okay, okay, I might be coming off a little snarky here today. These are perfectly decent cookies with an above-average crispy, wafery texture. They're creamy and crispy and they're honestly pretty close to being perfectly "bite-sized." The chocolate taste is surprisingly rich and errs in the direction of dark chocolate. I can't imagine eating these without milk or coffee.

The bag is pseudo-resealable, since it comes not with a ziplock style seal, but with a sticker that hangs down so you can tape the bag shut over and over again. It feels a little bit junky, honestly.

$3.49 for the eight serving bag. Sonia will give them four and a half stars, stating that she wishes they made other flavors, namely vanilla and strawberry, and that they should offer all three flavors together in a Neapolitan style pack. I'll give Trader Joe's Double Chocolate Wafer Cookies three out of five stars. I'll admit they have a really nice texture, but there's nothing about the taste that makes these stand out to me over your average store-bought cookie.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones

I was just daydreaming about lemon-flavored foods and remembered that silly urban legend that some lady named her twin boys Lemonjello and Orangejello after what she was eating in the maternity ward of her hospital, shortly after giving birth. Then I was thinking, "Would I ever name my kid after food? After something lemon-flavored? After Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones?"

Probably not. But if I did, I'd make it a little discreet. Like I'd name my kid Joseph Lemon Scone Rodgers. There's "Joseph" in there for Trader Joe. And then "Lemon Scone" would be his middle name(s). People would call him Joe L.S. and wonder what the "L.S." stood for.

But even cooler than naming your kid after lemon-flavored food would be to have a band called The Lemon Scones. "We are The Lemon Scones, and we're here to make you think about food and get hungry and stuff! One, two, three, four..." And all their tunes would be about breakfast. I think you could forge an entire career around songs about the most important meal of the day. Maybe they'd have a B-side or two about dessert...but I'm hearing mostly just breakfast ballads. Their first album would be called Breaking the Fast.

Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones are indeed glazed, sweet, and lemon-flavored. Like nearly all lemon-flavored products from Trader Joe's or anywhere else, my biggest complaint is that it could still use more lemon flavor. These are pleasantly lemony, but the tartness of the lemon is easily overshadowed by the sugary sweetness of the glaze.

Still, they're a carborrific blast of sweet-tart lemon. I like them. I generally like anything that's lemontastic. I love them for breakfast, while a Brit might say they go best with a spot of afternoon tea. I can't go lower than four and a half stars. $4.49 for six kosher scones.

Sonia likes them, too, but maybe not as much as I do. She'll give Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones three and a half out of five stars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mee Krob Snackers

I did exactly zero research before purchasing and trying Trader Joe's Mee Krob Snackers. They've been trending on social media, so I thought I'd just jump in head first.

So...as far as first impressions go, I'll start with the texture. It's not unlike eating uncooked ramen noodles, though slightly more pleasant than that. The noodles here are very thin, like vermicelli style. There's a thin glaze of a reddish sauce that's similar to the coating on flavored potato chips or rice cakes. The whole thing is extremely crispy and crunchy, with some cashews thrown into the mix that add a bit of softer texture. All in all, I'm a fan of the mouthfeel, though I wish the crackers were about half as thick as they are. It'd be easier to take small bites that way.

Flavor-wise, I'll just say this: Sonia and both of her parents are huge fans. I'm not hating on Trader Joe's Mee Krob by any means, but I can't say I'm as enthused as the rest of the family. I think it boils down to the fact that I'm not super fond of tamarind in most contexts, although there are some notable exceptions to that rule. Tamarind is a quintessential flavor for a lot of Hispanic beverages and treats, and it's also one of the key ingredients here, although this has an unmistakably Asian vibe in most respects.

"Sweet, tart, and savory" sums up the flavor pretty well. I actually wish there were more cashews and cashew flavor, but the bit that's there is mostly drowned out by the tangy sauces and starches. There's a tad too much vinegar flavor in the mix for my taste, as well, though I wouldn't call it a deal-breaker.

We all agree these would make decent croutons for an Oriental or Asian salad or wrap. They'd have to be broken into smaller pieces, but they'd work well. I guess you could add them to soup, too. Sonia and mi suegros are happy to munch away straight out of the bag, but I probably won't reach for them as a stand-alone snack.

But as always, I'm very glad I had the chance to try them. About three bucks for the 3 oz bag. Vegan. Gluten free. Product of Thailand. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Three out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Mee Krob Snackers.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chromatic Celebration Cake & Baking Mix

I've often referred to myself as a "foodie-hack" on this blog and drawn attention to the fact that I'm not particularly skilled in the culinary arts. I managed to pull off some relatively photogenic cupcakes a few weeks ago but that, friends, was the exception to the rule.

Although I didn't completely butcher this batch of baked goods, I came close to it. The bag of frosting mix and the bag of cake mix weren't labeled individually, and I nearly poured the frosting base in with the eggs, milk, and oil and put it in the oven. I mean, the cake mix was yellowish and the frosting mix was white, but hey, the frosting in the Spring Cupcakes changed colors after mixing it with butter...so looks can be deceiving.

In the end I guessed correctly that the yellow mix was the cake. And fortunately, the cake part came out halfway decent yet again. It was yellow and fluffy and had lots of colored speckles all through it.

The frosting in Trader Joe's Chromatic Celebration Mix was even runnier this time. And it was oily somehow. If anything, I erred on the side of less butter than was called for, but the mix tasted and looked like there was excess butter. Maybe I didn't mix it long enough.

Also, the box made it clear to use "room temperature" butter. We only had frozen sticks of butter. I thought, "Ha. Room temperature? That's not gonna happen!" and I nuked my stick and 3/4 of butter and started mixing away. I also added the sprinkles to the frosting mixture itself before plopping it on the cupcakes, and um, well, they mostly dissolved. So that's why I opted to show you the interior of one of our cupcakes, complete with lovely colored speckles, with a few dollops of buttery off-white frosting dispersed around the base of the delicacy on the plate instead of the finished iced cupcake with colorful frosting.

Most of our readers could probably bake something like this with their eyes closed. But it seems the Spring Cupcake Mix was slightly more idiot-proof than this colorful concoction. And yes, that's me. I'm the idiot.

But they taste pretty good if I do say so myself. Pretty much your typical yellow vanilla cake mix. $4.99 for the box. Needs 2 eggs, 3/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup oil, and 14 Tbsp butter. Fun. Colorful. Would make a nice Easter treat. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me on Trader Joe's Chromatic Celebration Cake & Baking Mix.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Coffee & Dark Chocolate Joe-Joe's

At a quick glance, this is at least the 15th iteration of Joe-Joe's sandwich cookies that we've reviewed on this blog. And that's not including the Joe-Joe's derivative products like ice cream, cereal, and beverages that flaunt the Joe-Joe's moniker and/or contain chunks of real Joe-Joe's cookies.

That's a lot of dang cookies.

So if we're tough graders on a perfectly delicious product, it's only because Trader Joe's needs to keep setting the bar higher and higher with each Joe-Joe's product. Because what's the point of introducing new Joe-Joe's and discontinuing old ones if not to offer a better and better cookie?

I mean, honestly, Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Chocolate Sandwich Cookies with Coffee Creme are really decent treats. They're heavy. Dense. Rich. Sonia likes the word "decadent," but I think it's overused. I mean, it's certainly applicable here, but I feel like the word "indulgent" is more appropriate somehow. I guess they mean about the same thing in the end.

Maybe we're just getting older and more boring but we each had a single cookie from the sleeve and said, "Wow. I'm done." I washed mine down with cold milk. Sonia chased hers with hot coffee. There's just so much sugar and chocolate and cookie and coffee crammed in there, just a few bites are enough to satisfy our sweet tooths. Er, sweet teeth?

There's definitely a mocha vibe. Dark chocolate and real ground coffee beans will do that. I feel like the chocolate is slightly dominant. There's "white confectionary coating" and vanilla flavors in the mix, too, so it's not a bitter dark chocolate flavor at all. It's about as candy-esque as dark chocolate gets. And then there are whispers of coffee here and there, mostly in the creamy core of the cookie.

I'm sure the interzones are ablaze with the praises of Trader Joe's Coffee and Dark Chocolate Joe-Joe's. If it's your first time at the Joe-Joe's rodeo or you just really like mocha stuff, it's a safe bet you're gonna love these. Sonia and I will easily finish the box over the next few days, but we agree it's not a re-purchase for us.

$3.49 for eight cookies. Three and a half stars a piece for <breathes in> Trader Joe's Coffee & Dark Chocolate Joe-Joe's Chocolate Sandwich Cookies with Coffee Creme in a Dark Chocolate and Coffee Coating <breathes out> from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.