Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Cheddar Cheese

This everything but the bagel phenomenon is getting out of hand. Why can't we just put classic EBTB on our own cheese, Trader Joe? You don't trust us to do it properly? I suppose it's nice to have it pressed right into the wheel already. It would be tedious to sprinkle the proper amount on every single bite of cheese, wouldn't it? Some of these products were better than others, but I know it was convenient to have it pre-applied to a few other things throughout the years:

Trader Joe's EBTB Greek Yogurt Dip

Trader Joe's EBTB Nut Duo

Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls

Trader Joe's EBTB Smoked Salmon

Trader Joe's EBTB Potato Chips

Trader Joe's Everything Bagel Chips

Trader Joe's EBTB Crackers

Ridiculous, right? Anyway, TJ's keeps making them and we keep buying them, so there's no end in sight. Today we're looking at cheddar cheese. Pretty hard to mess that up, right?

We tried it plain first just to see what we're working with here. It's good. I thought, if anything, the EBTB wouldn't be strong enough and I'd want more of it. It's pretty well-represented here, honestly.

There's a significant garlic element in the EBTB cheese. Fortunately, Sonia and I absolutely love raw garlic, black garlic, cooked garlic, garlic butter, garlic mayo, garlic bread, and...well, you get the idea. I'd be wary of eating this during a work lunch since it might make your breath a tad funky.

Other than that, have at it. Provided you like cheddar cheese as well as the garlic and onion vibe you get from EBTB, I can't imagine people disliking this product. It makes plain old cheddar cheese seem super gourmet. Sonia and I will try this with chicken, pasta, sandwiches, and melted over veggies.

It's some of the best tasting cheese I've had in a long time. I give Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Cheddar Cheese 9 out of 10 stars. Sonia will give it a perfect ten. $4.99 for the 8 oz wheel.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Potato Habanero Hot Sauce

Cranking out review after review, day after day, week after week gets old after a while. Sometimes, I just lose inspiration and don't want to post on this blog at all. And then I'll fix breakfast or lunch and open up a TJ's product I haven't tried yet and it just absolutely blows me away and suddenly I remember the spirit that instituted this site in the first place.

That's what happened here. This sauce is delicious. I thought for sure it was going to be a repeat of last year's Chunky Garlic & Jalapeño Hot Sauce. For the life of me, I can't see what the fuss is about with that stuff. But this? Have you tried it? Holy cow. It's sweet like a sweet potato and spicy like a habanero pepper.

It looks just like the aforementioned garlic and jalapeño sauce, except that one was red and this one is an unappealing brownish-greenish color. I still wouldn't call this one "chunky," but it has tiny bits of veggies floating around in it much like its predecessor. But the flavor? Oh man, this has a wonderful bright zing to it and a burst of flavorful heat. It's got a significant amount of kick, but it's not over the top either. White vinegar is the number one ingredient but it's well-balanced with sweet potato and habanero deliciousness.

So far, we've tried it with eggs, chicken, and beef. We've used it in tacos, chili, and omelets, and it works quite well in every case. This is my new favorite hot sauce and quite possibly my new favorite condiment, period.

It might be a seasonal item. After all, sweet potato is a fall flavor. I better stock up if that's the case. If you don't like spicy foods, you might wanna sit this one out. It's also conceivable some folks will find it too sweet. Otherwise, I can't recommend it highly enough. The beautiful wifey loves it as well.

$2.99 for 5 fluid ounces. This looks like a pantheon product all the way. Let's go with nine out of ten stars from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Sweet Potato Habanero Hot Sauce.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Caramelized Onion & Bell Pepper Turkey Patties

I might be the odd man out here, but I'll generally gravitate toward a turkey burger before I'll choose the more common and more traditional beef patty. Same for Sonia. If we're going to eat red meat, we'd both prefer buffalo (bison) burgers before beef, but those aren't exactly ubiquitous, so it's largely moot point.

All that to say, we love turkey burgers and have had many throughout the years. See: Trader Joe's frozen turkey burgers. I assumed these would be, like, my favorite thing ever since I'm also a big fan of caramelized onions and bell peppers. And while I did enjoy the veggies mixed right into the meat, I felt like there was something just slightly off that I couldn't quite put my finger on at first.

Meanwhile, the beautiful wifey raved about her burger. She said she was shocked at how much she loved it. She was originally thinking of adding seasoning during the heating process, but I talked her out of it, noting that for the purpose of review we should taste them sans fixins, at least at first.

She was amazed at how not bland the burgers were, embracing the onions, peppers, and interesting seasoning blend, though we both did note that the caramelized onions mentioned on the packaging didn't show up visibly in the burgers nor in the flavor profile in any meaningful way. We had the burgers with cheese, mustard, arugula, and pretzel buns in the end, both deciding that any additional seasoning was unnecessary.

After the fact, I did a bit of recon and checked out traderjoes.com to see if they mentioned what kind of turkey meat was used. Sure enough, they specify on the website that these turkey burgers are made of 100% thigh meat, though it's not specified on the product label. I've mentioned before that I'm a white meat and poultry breast kinda guy. Turkey burgers where white and dark meat are mixed work quite well, too, in my humble opinion. This dark meat only stuff doesn't taste quite as good to me.

Also, wtf is "cultured onion juice"?

TL;DR—I like the veggies cooked into the patties but I don't like that they're made of only dark meat. Sonia absolutely adores Trader Joe's Caramelized Onion & Bell Pepper Turkey Patties.

$5.99 for four patties, found in the refrigerated section.

Sonia's score: 9 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Mini Sheet Cake

And NOW it's time for the pumpkin spice parade to proceed. Sheet cake with cream cheese icing and some pumpkin puree, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger doesn't sound too outlandish to me. Sounds like a downright delicious fall flavor, in fact.

And it is. Remember that vanilla bean sheet cake? Of course you do. There's also a lemon one we haven't tried yet. Anyway, it was pretty tasty thanks to the generous amounts of sweet vanilla icing on top. We've got just about that same amount of cream cheese-based frosting here and a very similar soft, moist texture.

The pumpkin spices are nicely blended, not too strong and not too subtle. The pumpkin puree gives the cake a distinctly squash-ish vibe underneath the indulgent dessert flavors. It works the same way pumpkin pie works, but you know, more bready than that, like a classic pumpkin roll except flat instead of cylindrical and swirly. The cream cheese frosting is sweet and tangy, buttery and velvety. There's a generous amount of it on the cake. I thought Sonia would say there's too much, but she raved about it. She and I agree that the overall effect is satisfying, scrumptious, and distinctly autumnal.

$5.49 for the six serving dessert, found with the other baked goods. We would buy Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Mini Sheet Cake again. Eight out of ten stars from me. Perfect ten from Sonia?? I didn't see that coming. Wow.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes

Below, you'll find another video review featuring both the beautiful wifey and me.

I'm not sure if I put the nutrition info anywhere in the video, so I'll drop it right here.

$2.49 for 5 green onion pancakes actually imported from Taiwan. Vegan. We would definitely buy Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mini Shrimp Bao

Sometimes I'll rack my brain for a few minutes trying to think of some little anecdote or clever story to serve as a segue into my review but all I can think about is how freaking amazing and delicious the product at hand really is. This is one such occasion. These shrimp bao are scrumptious, convenient, and very reasonable, cost-wise.

Just 45 seconds in the microwave had each pair of bao buns piping hot, soft, and nearly perfect in the texture department. The serving suggestion on the box recommended putting cucumber slices and julienned carrots on the buns. We just so happened to have both already chopped up and ready to rock and roll right in our fridge the day we ate these. The box also wanted cilantro, but it's rare we have that on hand. Still, the crisp veggies added the perfect complement to the shrimp meat and soft, fluffy wheat-based bao buns.

There's just a mild to moderate amount of spice in both the shrimp patties and the included lemongrass lime chili sauce—which is excellent just in and of itself. Sonia and I agree that we'd buy the sauce by the bottle for sure. It's like a good sweet Thai chili sauce but with an unexpected citrusy element and perhaps not quite as thick in terms of consistency.

The shrimp flavor, the array of spices and seasonings, and the subtle savoriness of the steamed buns was one of the best combos I've tasted in a while. Sonia and I plowed through the entire box in one sitting for dinner one evening. I've seldom had appetizers this good even at sit-down Asian restaurants.

$4.99 for eight spicy shrimp bao. Product of Vietnam. Don't confuse this item with Trader Joe's 6 Spicy Shrimp Bao from a dozen years back or so. That one wasn't very good. This one will go in the Pantheon. Perfect ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Nine out of ten from me for Trader Joe's Mini Shrimp Bao.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Horchata Ice Cream

I was in college when I'd first heard of horchata. We were at the local burrito place and one of my housemates asked if I wanted to try some.

"What is it?" I asked.
"Mexican rice water," he replied.
"Oh goodness no!" I said with revulsion.

Whoever first described horchata as "Mexican rice water" clearly flunked out of marketing school. It should be described as "a creamy Latin cinnamon sugar beverage," because that's what it is, and it's freaking delicious. Eventually I managed to get over the image of shady cartel members reusing water they'd used to boil filthy grains of rice to resell as a drink, and by the time I married Sonia, I was already enjoying horchata fairly regularly and it became a frequent purchase in our household as well as a fun drink to try at restaurants, parks, and other outings.

And this horchata ice cream is like a top-quality horchata beverage, but frozen. There are little chunks of "horchata flavored cookie pieces" ...!? I don't think horchata cookies are a thing...but I guess they are now. Holy cow. Has Trader Joe's been reading about how I like "stuff" in my ice cream? If any ice cream flavor would have done fine as a smooth, chunkless product, it's this one, but I gotta say the cookie bits only make it that much better.

They're like little pieces of crunchy churros almost. There's lots of 'em, and they're delicious. I might not have minded if they'd thrown in soft churros or soft "horchata cookies," but the crunchy kind works just fine here. They're a little hard to see because they're a similar color as the ice cream base.

The ice cream itself is even better—with the perfect amount of sweetness, creaminess, and cinnamon flavor. It tastes like real horchata and the texture is just about perfect, as well. There's not much in the way of rice flavor, but honestly, even Mexican rice water doesn't taste a whole lot like rice if you ask me.

One of the best desserts I've had in a long time. Even my Latina Trader Joe's cashier raved about it. Put this one in the hallowed halls of the Pantheon. $3.79 well spent. Will purchase again. And again....and again. Kosher. Perfect 10/10 from me. Sonia is down for 10/10 as well on Trader Joe's Horchata Ice Cream.

Bottom line: 10 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee K-Cups

As our attempt to maintain a minimalistic lifestyle grows ever more futile by the day, I'm slowly realizing ownership of certain items is nearly unavoidable despite not wanting to own a bunch of stuff—things like: furniture, a microwave, an air fryer, and yes, a Keurig.

And as many of you know, Sonia is a big coffee person. Once upon a time in the 90s, she owned her own mini espresso machine, back when she worked for Starsucks. At our old house, she had a traditional coffee maker. While we were on the road, she used a French press for a while and then switched to instant coffee. But hey, we're in sticks and bricks still for the time being and we've got all this space. Might as well fill it up with appliances and stuff <sigh> hence the Keurig.

I drink coffee once in a blue moon, but I'm more of an energy drink guy for the most part so I'll let the beautiful wifey do most of the analysis on this product. She says Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee is well-balanced. It's not bitter or over-roasted. She likes that the coffee is organic, too. I'll add that this coffee definitely didn't make me gag or anything, not even when I tried it plain without sugar or creamer.

I've purchased some K-Cups for Sonia so I'm well aware of how pricey they can be. At $5.29 for 12 single serve cups, this Trader Joe's product is quite a bargain. It says "fair trade" so we'll just go ahead and assume the coffee farmers didn't get ripped off too badly...

Would buy again. Product of Colombia. Kosher. I'll defer to the beautiful coffee connoisseur for final scoring on this one. She gives Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee 9/10 stars.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Shrimp Boom Bah

The name "Shrimp Boom Bah" made complete sense to me until I started thinking about it. I couldn't even think of the phrase that it was mimicking at first. Then it dawned on me: "sis boom bah." And then I couldn't even recall what that phrase meant or in what context I'd heard it. Wiktionary says it's a phrase of encouragement synonymous with "hooray" commonly used in US cheerleading. Oh. Duh. "Rah, rah, sis boom bah." That's clever...I guess.

The spice level of Trader Joe's Shrimp Boom Bah is right in that sweet spot where there's plenty of kick but it doesn't interfere with the other flavors or your enjoyment of the meal. It has quite a bit of heat, but not to the point of pain. Both the breading on the shrimp and the bright orange boom boom sauce contain some spice but I think most of it is coming from the condiment.

There's a nice thick, high-quality breading that contains rice, corn, and wheat elements. It's like a cross between traditional American fried shrimp batter and an Asian tempura type coating. The shrimp are big enough that you can taste and feel them quite readily even despite the heavy batter. 

Both the mouthfeel and flavor of the shrimp are on point, and I'm a tough grader when it comes to shrimp. Sonia loves that the sauce is simultaneously creamy, sweet, and spicy...and that they actually give you a generous amount of it.

$8.99 for the box, which is honestly pretty inexpensive for any type of shrimp these days, let alone this restaurant-quality product that actually comes with its own delicious dipping sauce. We would absolutely buy Trader Joe's Shrimp Boom Bah again. What could possibly make it better? Make it with jumbo shrimp next time. Both Sonia and Nathan give the same score once again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10 stars.

Trader Joe's Dog Food...For People 10th Anniversary Edition

Breaking news! It's back...for a limited time only. Get your 10 Year Anniversary Edition Dog Food...For People while supplies last!

Trader Joe's Calamansi & Mango Sorbet

I’m on the record more than once stating that I like stuff in my frozen desserts—you know, mix-ins and chunks of cookie dough or something to bite down on. If I were to make a complaint about this sorbet, it would have to be that: the absence of fruit pieces…because there’s absolutely nothing else to complain about.

This might be the best sorbet I’ve ever tasted. The front of the pint describes the product as “tropical, citrusy, sweet, & refreshing” and I wouldn’t add or subtract anything from those adjectives. It’s just such a bright, clean flavor, I can’t imagine a citrus dessert tasting any better.

Texture-wise, the word “velvet” comes to mind. It’s a cold velvet, for sure, but very velvety nevertheless. It’s superbly smooth and light. I can’t get over how big the taste is without any kind of cloying syrupy feel. It literally and figuratively melts in your mouth.

This is only the second calamansi product I’ve ever had. The first was a citrus beverage from Trader Joe’s called Calamansi Cooler. It just works better with mango. I don’t know why. I guess I like the taste of mango. But this is somehow so much better than just mango.

$3.79 well spent. Sonia loves the product, too, but maybe not quite as much as I do. Will repurchase in the summertime for the refreshment factor. I could probably eat the whole pint in one sitting after mowing the lawn on a hot day. Vegan. Kosher. Five stars from me, four and a half from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe’s Calamansi & Mango Sorbet.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese Spread

So...consuming this product has been one of those experiences that has me questioning numerous decisions I've made in the past. Namely: why didn't I buy Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese earlier? It has been available in block format for years, I'm pretty sure. Why didn't Sonia and I purchase that Shaved Cheese Blend, reviewed on this very blog, which also contains unexpected cheddar? Why did I not expect the cheddar to be as unexpected as Trader Joe's would have me expect? Why would I doubt TJ's like that?

I don't know. I don't even know if any of that last paragraph made any darn sense at all. All I know is that this is a really freaking amazing cheese spread. It's unexpectedly good.

So, my whole life, I've loved Cheez Whiz. As far as Philly cheesesteaks are concerned, I'm a wiz wit guy all the way. Sonia's with me on the "with onions" part of the equation, but she thinks the whiz is gross. She just thinks it tastes fake, and it does. Because it is fake. It's "processed cheese food." It's franken-cheese. And I mean, at this point, I eat it about once every 5 years, so it's not like it's a health concern or anything like that. I'm already getting side-tracked...

Here's our take on this product in a nutshell: Unexpected Cheddar Cheese Spread tastes like Cheez Whiz but not at all fake, and we both love it. It's sweet, smooth, salty, savory, creamy, tangy, and super spreadable. It's so thick and flavorful, just the thinnest layer of it adds such an amazing burst of luscious cheddar goodness that the tiny tub lasts longer than you might expect.

I'll be honest: most of the container was consumed by me just dunking water crackers right into the tub and eating them without anything else. But we did make tacos and sandwiches using this cheese and they were stellar, as well. I'm sure you could use it on pretty much anything.

It's not like an item you'd pair with wine to impress cheese snobs or anything like that. And I'm pretty sure most kids would love it. Low-brow or not, my mouth doesn't lie, and it LOVES Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese Spread. Now I definitely have to try the hatch chile version.

$4.99 for 9 oz. Best five bucks you'll spend all year. Perfect five stars from me. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. That makes this our first entry into the Pantheon in over two months.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Farm Raised Smoked Trout Fillets

Other than a few tiny sunnies, I think the only fish I ever caught was a trout. It was many years ago, so I don't remember with much accuracy, but I'm sure it was just barely over the minimum length requirement, whatever that was. I might have helped descale it, but I'm sure all the gutting and other preparations were done by someone older with a lot more fishing experience.

But I remember eating the trout I caught right there on the banks of the Juniata River, fresh off my cousin's grill. I was quite proud of myself, and I might have even received a few accolades from my dad and uncle for catching the fish, and that made the moment just a bit sweeter. But honestly, I don't remember the fish tasting very good at all.

Since then, I've had trout dishes from a few restaurants and can't say any of them have been memorable. So forgive me for being skeptical about Trader Joe's Smoked Trout Fillets. I mean, their tinned fish has been hit or miss in my book. Most recently, we looked at the Wild Caught Mackerel and were very pleasantly surprised, just as we received word that the product had already been discontinued as of the time we posted the review.

Fortunately, this product is still available and it, too, is shockingly good considering it's canned, shelf-stable for over three and a half years, and is trout, rather than something more expensive and exotic. It doesn't taste fishy in the least. The smoky flavor is perfect. It's not overbearing, nor does it taste fake like liquid smoke. It honestly tastes like this fish was cooked over a campfire.

$3.99 for a very reasonable amount of high-quality tinned fish. Packed in oil. No skin. No bones. Ready to eat right out of the container. We had it plain, on crackers, in a salad, and even mixed with cream cheese on a bagel in lieu of lox. I will absolutely purchase this product again. Perfect five stars from me for Trader Joe's Farm Raised Smoked Trout Fillets. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce

Some of you might remember a Calabrian chili soup reviewed on this blog a couple years ago. Russ apparently liked it quite a bit, but Sonia and I were unable to procure a jar at the time. And it was just brought to my attention that Trader Joe's Bomba Sauce is made with Calabrian chilis too. We love that stuff and have it all the time, but I never realized I was eating Calabrian chilis until now! Guess I should read labels once in a while.

Anyway, we were able to snag this fancy pasta sauce on our last TJ's run so we can see what all the fuss is about. First impressions? Holy cow! How is this not MORE popular?

Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce flaunts a bright, tangy, smoky, sweet flavor profile with a moderate amount of zesty Calabrian chili heat. There's something fruity, almost citrusy to the taste. It's got some faint onion and garlic vibes and some typical Italian herbs like oregano and basil, but all in all, this is just head and shoulders above your average Italian pasta sauce.

I'd put the heat level somewhere around a 5 or 6, on a scale of 1 - 10. It's enough to clear your sinuses and warm your chest, but not enough to make you want to slow down shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

My only complaint is that I'd like a chunkier version. There are little slivers of onion throughout the sauce, but they're quite small and far and few between. I'm really tempted to throw a bunch of beans and veggies into the remainder of this sauce and make an actual vegetarian chili or even get some ground beef and turn it into chili con carne.

I'd try this on any kind of pasta, pizza, or as a glaze for red meat, poultry, you name it. I really like this sauce a lot and could see it becoming a mainstay in our house. I can't imagine me craving boring old Ragu or Prego over Calabrian chili sauce ever again.

$4.99 for the jar. Absolutely will buy again. I'm sure there are other brands and varieties of Calabrian chili pasta sauce out there, but please don't discontinue this one, Trader Joe. Or offer a chunky version before you do. Four and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce. Perfect five from me. 

Happy Fourth of July!

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

House of Suntory Roku Gin

Like many fine foods and beverages, gin is an acquired taste. The first time I tried it, I winced and said, "It tastes like drinking a forest." Then eventually I tried Tanqueray with tonic water and decided it wasn't that bad. Now I'm at a point where I can very much appreciate good gin and would generally choose it over whisky, vodka, or tequila hands down.

Sonia's more of a bourbon girl. She hasn't cultivated any love for gin as of the time of this writing, so I'll be scoring this one solo. In short, this Japanese gin is probably the best I've ever tried. It tastes the way I wanted Hendrick's to taste: exotic. It's complex and floral, peppery and smooth at the same time.

There are six botanical ingredients unique to Japan used in the crafting of House of Suntory Roku Gin: sakura flower, sansho pepper, yuzu peel, sakura leaf, sencha tea, and gyokuro tea. I'm only vaguely familiar with two of those ingredients: I've tried Japanese candy featuring the citrus fruit yuzu and its peel before. And I've tried sencha tea, a type of loose leaf green tea similar to matcha. When all six ingredients combine, they yield the most unique flavor of gin I've ever had the pleasure of sampling.

The bottle was $24.99 at Trader Joe's, but you'll find this gin at other mainstream grocery stores like Hy-Vee, as well. It's not Trader Joe's brand, but I think House of Suntory Roku Gin belongs in this blog's Pantheon.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Brioche Twist

If you're a carnivore, you eat nothing but meat. And what is meat but the muscles of animals? Also, not surprisingly, since "you are what you eat," a strict carnivore's physique generally becomes more and more muscular.

I'm not sure when I first heard it or who coined the word, but one of the funniest food puns I've ever heard is the word "carbivore" to describe those of us who are naturally inclined to breads and other carbohydrates. And unfortunately, carbivores tend to become what they eat as well, and they get a little doughy in the middle.

I must admit, although I'm in a constant battle against my cravings, I'm naturally fairly carbivorous myself. I've never met a piece of brioche toast I didn't like. And this one is no exception—with swirls of pumpkin puree, brown sugar, and pumpkin spice all through it. Yum. This loaf is pre-sliced perfectly for a traditional toaster. Just grab a piece, pull off the wax paper liner, warm it up, add a bit of butter. Trader Joe's Pumpkin Brioche Twist is close to perfection.

Again, maybe my critical standards go out the window when carbs are involved. Maybe I'm not thinking clearly, but I just can't think of any complaints. 

Some might say this is just glorified cinnamon bread and they wouldn't be entirely wrong, but the fall-ish flavors are well-balanced—neither too dominant nor too subtle. The texture is soft and supple and the bread just melts in your mouth. I could eat the whole loaf in a single day.

Sonia absolutely loved this product, too. Her only complaint was that the slices might be just a tad too thick, just barely clearing the slots in our toaster, width-wise. Also, she forgot to peel off the liner paper once or twice, so...there's that. She made French toast out of a couple of the pieces and added maple syrup. I'll agree that they were superbly scrumptious, but I'd rather save this brioche bread to eat by itself and have her make French toast out of regular bread.

But I'm getting off track. This is an outstanding fall product by my estimation. I hope it returns next year. $4.49 for about 9 slices. Five stars from me. Four and a half from the beautiful wifey on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Brioche Twist.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salsa Verde Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips

 It's July...time to spice it up with your summer snackin', don't you think?

Chips and salsa are a classic staple, but if the heat's making you too lazy to dip (been there), but you still want all the flavor, look no further than Trader Joe's Salsa Verde Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips.

Seriously, these chips. Amazing. Imagine all the good, vibrant flavors of a good salsa verde. A little onion, a little garlic, some fresh tomatillo, a good dose of lime, a little heat of pepper...if that doesn't make your math water, there's something wrong with you. But instead of a chip and salsa, it's just a chip. Nothing more, nothing less. 

That's exactly how these new salsafied tortilla chips are. Super firm, a little thick, incredibly crunchy, and oiberally coated every square micrometer with salsa verde in dusty form, these chips pack a snack punch that I haven't had in quite some time. It's almost transcendent. I love them, and as any good flavored chip, the more you eat, the more the flavor intensifies. I don't think I've ever had a chip that's held any more flavor, ever, of any kind, than these. Chip technology is being pushed to the cutting edge, it seems. 

Really, I have no real complaints, at all, except that maybe there's a splash too much vinegar here that amps up the sour acidity just a wee bit much. A lime can really do that on its own, or at least not seem as forced. It's not overly distracting, but it does stray towards a bit much. As do i here by trying to find a fault. 

Delicious chips. We bought them less than 24 hours ago and they're nearly gone. The flavor intensity is just so inviting and delicious, and not offputting at all - heck, my kids who are normally kinda wusses when it comes to these kinda things can chow them down like a boss. 

No dips needed to enjoy - that honestly may distract from the real flavor here. But you could convince me to try a little sour cream or guacamole here. If you really want tastebud overload, pair a handful of these chippies with a glassful of the mango jalapeno lemonade. That'll get your knees knocking. 

Love 'em, no complaints from anyone here. Absolute repeat buy. Can't stop til I get enough. Perfect fives. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Salsa Verde Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips: 10 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Candy Coated Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds

Sooooo..... what's your favorite Easter candy?

'Cause I'm such a weirdo, mine is easily black jelly beans Love 'em, can't get enough. I'll eat them til my mouth tingles with sugary bitterness and once subsided I'll go back for more. 

Not 100% sure for my lovely bride, but the mini Cadbury Creme Eggs are near the top. No, not the big, gooey filled ones (which just so happen to be second on my list) as those are a bit texturally challenging for her. The mini guys, just candy coated choclate, but somehow softer, sweeter and different than, say, regular ol' M&Ms. In her mind, few things could be better..

...except maybe Trader Joe's Candy Coated Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds. 

I wouldn't be surprised if we track down a case of these new candies. Really, there's no reason for them to be Easter-specific except maybe their cutesy robin egg-esque appearance, but even then...whatever. 

There's nothing all too new or novel here. Take an almond, enrobe it in a layer of the typically good quality TJ's dark choc, then slap on a candy shell and call it a day. That's all there is there ain't no mo'. 

Yet it's just so well done. There's a creaminess to the chocolate that's a bit unusual for the darker, less milky blend, and it's almost intoxicating. Add it in the earthy center of a decent roasty almond, and the fun sgary snap of a candy shell, and it's so easy to pop handful after handful. Maybe the chocolate is all churned by waterfall or has some other Wonka-fied madness to it, but it's just so good. 

Grab them. Petition the stores to make them year round. Buy buy buy. if somehow you don't like them, send us your surplus. I beg not on my own behalf, but instead plead for my wife - Lord knows she puts up with enough from me. The least I can do is try to get her an endless supply of a candy she adores. 

Sandy, in case you haven't figured it out, gives them a perfect unassailable score. I know better than to argue with her....I mean at least I should....but I'll mark them high myself. Get me my black jelly beans, get her bag aftyer bag of these tasty treats, and we'll be in hog heaven. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Candy Coated Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds: 9.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Ginger Bread Cream Liqueur

Of course I love my kids. And I love holiday cookies. Heck, I even kinda love baking holiday cookies, but...

You ever try to make batch after batch after batch of holiday cookies with small kids clamoring to being 'helpful" each step, with limited space and tools,, what, with turn taking and problem solving and different abilities (sure, the nine year old knows how to crack an egg or accurately measure flour, but the three year old? Lol), with diminishing interest, the mess multiplied, with the only assistance in cleaning up afterwards is when it comes to licking clean the spoons and beaters?

Ay. It's a fun combination.

Want to know another fun combo to toss into all this, to make it all a lot more tolerable?

Grab your coffee mug, pour in a little Trader Joe's Ginger Bread Cream Liqueur, skip any other cream or sugar, and pour your coffee over. You're welcome. 

At only 29 proof, it's not gonna knock you down. Heck, if I were to drink the whole bottle, I think I'd be more buzzed from the sugar than the booze. Not gonna even attempt that though. Way too much dairy...

But anyways, this ginger bread liqueur is remarkably tasty. It's ginger infused vodka mixed with decent quality dairy cream that results in a cool, smooth, milky beverage that actually offers a pretty respectable gingerbread-esque flavor. It's mild yet full-bodied and plenty well balanced in all aspects. No boozy burn at all. It just flows. 

It is a bit too sweet and rich for me to entirely enjoy as a stand-alone drink. That's just me and my usual drinkable dairy aversion more than anything else - the gingerbready booze would make a killer ice cream flavor. Aside from  mixing in coffee, a small glass over ice would likely be an enjoyable after dinner/cookie time treat as well. 

Thanks, Ohio, for having cool laws that made this available in your TJ's stores. Wish we stocked up more. Get on board, Pennsylvania. 

Really good. My lovely bride was in love at first sip. Not gonna lie, we half contemplated playing hooky from all responsibilities just to make another road trip to procure some more. At less than $15 a bottle (I'm thinking $12.99 but I may be wrong) I cannot recommend picking up the TJ's gingerbread liqueur as a little holiday treat any higher if you see it. Tis the season to maybe be a bit generous here...so double fives. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Ginger Bread Cream Liqueur: 10 out of 10 Golden Spoons. 

Trader Joe's Kale & Cauliflower Chili with Navy Beans

 

Let's get real here for a quick mo...can anything really beat chili?

Of course, this is a seasonally qualified statement. Chili on a 100 degree/100% humidity day? No way no how. Nuh uh. Non starter. There's amendments against cruel and unusual punishments, after all. So yeah, not then. 

But on a cool or cooler day, when only something warm and hearty will do? Chili please! Keep it coming. All day long. 

Though nothing beats homemade, in a quick pinch for a bite, may I humbly suggest giving Trader Joe's Kale & Cauliflower Chili with Navy Beans a try?

Though I'm carnivorous by nature, I'm always down for an intriguing sounding veggie/vegan chili option. Chili works really well sans meat, heck, I'll even make it that way sometimes myself. This particular new TJ's chili, when spotted, became a must try, even when met with an initial wave of excitement mixed with a little skepticism. How good could it really be?

I took a taste, and now I'm a believer. 

Really, there's nothing not to like here, and nothing is missed. Big ol' meat-eating me loved every bite. There's the right consistency - not too watery, with plenty of bite between all the kale and beans and cauliflower crumbles. There's the right level of spice - enough to get a rise, sure, but not enough to overwhelm. It's kept in check perfectly. And there's the right amount of flavor - and it's delicious! Kale is as fresh as can be given its circumstances, the beans add their beany goodness, all the spices are balanced in the right proportions to another. There's a pretty healthy dose of cinnamon added, which gives a nice little slant on the whole experience with a nice little warming touch that seems to really add a solid base to everything else. There's pepper and garlic and tomatoes and...it's just good. Every bite has a little bit of everything. It's awesome.

Going back to the spice level, I'd rate it as about a 6/10 if eating straight on. It's more a flavorful spice than straight-out fire. I for one felt no need to add a little extra something-something to give it a kick. But , if say, one would add some cheese or pour over a baked potato (which this chili practically screams for doing) or some cornbread, I could see the heat getting dissipated a bit. For some of you, that'd be a plus, others, maybe not so much. But to me, that means it strikes about the right balance so as to be palatable to the masses.

My lovely bride and I have already decided: we're stocking up. It's delicious and a jar will easily fill the two of us without giving either of us the food baby/food coma/ingested brick feeling I get with other chilis. This just may become our new cold day quick meal go to, and for like $4 for the jar, it cannot be beat. Love it. No faults at all here. Shoo the clouds away from the top of Olympus, we got a new Pantheoner here. Perfect fives and we mean it.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Kale & Cauliflower Chili with Navy Beans: 10 out of 10 Golden Spoons.