Trader Joe's Pasta Festiva

Numerous readers have noted that these Trader Joe's refrigerated pastas and raviolis are "too much for one person" yet not enough for two or more. I concur. Although, if you're serving them with sides, they're just about adequate for a couple.

The "servings per container" is officially 2.5 or 3 on most of these products. It's three in this case, although I really don't think it's realistic at all that three adults could share this one package for dinner without copious quantities of sides, toppings, and/or fillers. If we're talking light lunch, then pairing this entire package with a decent salad would probably suffice for two normal folks.

But odd serving sizes aside, this is a decent product. We like the festive red and green colors, courtesy of all-natural tomato and spinach powders. We like the generous amount of ricotta cheese, and we both like the seasonings and pesto flavors involved. We've got basil, parmesan, and even nutmeg in the mix.

We boiled the pasta for six minutes or so. Traderjoes.com recommends serving it with their Rosatella Sauce, but we were unable to obtain that on our last TJ's run. Alternatively, you can serve it with olive oil and grated cheese. We went with avocado oil and parmesan. Honestly, these would probably even do just fine with a traditional marinara pasta sauce.

We polished off the package in a single sitting, devouring the majority of it during the recording of our eight and a half minute video review. We decided that it must be a pasta optimized for Festivus, the fictional winter holiday made famous on Seinfeld. It's probably just the Italian way to say "festive," but I can't think of anything more appropriate for dinner on December 23rd than Trader Joe's Pasta Festiva.

$3.99 for the 9 oz package, found in the refrigerated section. Sonia would buy again and I wouldn't stop her. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. I'll go with seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Pasta Festiva.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hazelnut & Cocoa Filled Crepes

Let me start off by saying Sonia and I have both been to Paris independently of one another, and while there, we both sampled some crepes from street vendors. We both remember them being shockingly inexpensive, warm, and delicious. They were one of the few things I perceived to be both uniquely French and also within my price range.

They weren't long and thin like these crepes. They were made with a similar-looking dough and folded into roughly triangular shapes and shuffled into a paper sleeve to be carried off and eaten on the go. I don't remember for sure since it was many years ago, but the crepes were filled with generous amounts of a chocolate spread of some kind—it very well may have been Nutella. It was creamy and full of cocoa flavor. The dough they used was amazing. It was buttery, slightly crispy in places, and it just melted in your mouth.

These are a far cry from those Parisian street crepes. The dough is the most intrusive element. Sonia and I both find it to be chewy—totally lacking that melt-in-the-mouth quality. To be fair, these crepes are pre-packaged and stored at room temperature for a number of weeks and then heated (or not) in the microwave. I guess you can also serve them unheated. I'm tempted to see how they turn out in the air fryer but I fear that they might dry out.

The hazelnut filling is chocolatey enough and tastes decent, but there just isn't enough of it. I remember creamy chocolate oozing out the sides of that delectable street food. That's not the case here. There's way more breading than the hazelnut cocoa filling.

There were some frozen crepes from Trader Joe's quite a few years back. We liked those significantly more than these room temperature dealies. Not sure why they disappeared, but that's pretty much par for the course with TJ's, unfortunately.

At $3.99 for six individually-wrapped servings, the cost isn't much steeper than those very inexpensive crepes from France all those years ago, but the quality isn't even in the same ballpark. Kosher. Would not buy again. Six out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Hazelnut & Cocoa Filled Crepes.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Harvest Chocolate Collection

So this is basically just the Chocolatissimo Harvest Collection, but now it has Trader Joe's brand name on it. Straight outta Belgium, we've got nine fun fall-themed candies with different combinations of chocolate and fillings. Let's take a look at each one.

Yellow & Brown Corncob - This one's a milk chocolate shell with crispy hazelnut praline filling. Good. The middle is like Nutella but with tiny crunchy bits. One of the better ones.

White Apple - I'm a fan of white chocolate, but I thought this specimen was weird. The filling is milk chocolate we think, but for me, the odd flavor of the shell kinda ruined it. Sonia thinks the whole thing tasted more like milk chocolate than white, but she was okay with it overall.

Orange Pumpkin - Milk chocolate shell with a creamy hazelnut praline filling. Pretty good.

Dark Walnut - This one looks like a real nut. I think the filling here is almond praline. It's a nice dark chocolate shell. It's not too bitter and it mixes well with the filling.

Brown Leaf - Milk chocolate shell and a gooey caramel center. The filling is very smooth and runny—almost wants to be a liquid. It's nice and salty, too. I think this one was our favorite.

The Black and White Walnut - It's two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. Both white and milk chocolate shells, both white and milk chocolate fillings. Decent. Sonia thinks she tastes the white chocolate more in this case than in the white chocolate shelled apple. Crispy filling.

Dark Brown Pumpkin - If you like dark chocolate, you'll like this one. Both shell and filling are smooth dark chocolate.

Dark Apple - It's just milk chocolate filling inside a dark chocolate coating. Not bad.

Green and Orange Corncob - Almond praline filling inside chocolate—not sure if it's milk chocolate or dyed white chocolate. This one's okay.

$5.49 for nine imported chocolate candies. Might buy again if I needed a fun contribution for a fall get-together or party. The quality of the chocolates isn't the best I've ever seen, but they have a cute fall theme and you never know what filling you'll find inside your candy. Seven and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Harvest Chocolate Collection. Seven out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Risotto

We're looking at another authentic Italian import today. This time, it's butternut squash risotto. It's actually the second butternut squash risotto product we've reviewed from Trader Joe's, the first being a low carb riced cauliflower version from five years ago.

Like its predecessor, this risotto has real butternut squash, cheese, and Italian spices. It's nice and creamy, smooth, and savory, too. We think the overall flavor is stronger with this product since it's got real rice in it.

The sauce blend seems a bit better in this instance, as well, for reasons I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it's just because it's truly Italian. It feels thicker, creamier, and cheesier.

We ate ours with some arugula to give it a bit of extra texture. The flavors worked well together, too. The nuttiness of the greens complemented the cheesiness of the risotto and gave the dish a nice earthy undertone. We're quite sure it would go great with chicken or fish or pork if that's your thing. It would make a fine side dish or even a standalone meal.

We heated it on the stovetop, but the microwave is fair game, too. Instructions say to heat on medium for 6-7 minutes. Ours took 15-16 minutes. Hey, it's still much faster than making it from scratch.

$4.49 for a pound of imported risotto. Product of Italy. Found in the frozen section. We'd both buy it again. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Risotto eight and a half out of ten stars. I'll go with seven and a half on this one.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Icelandic Style Skyr Yogurt

Never had Icelandic yogurt before. "Skyr" sure sounds like an Icelandic word, though. I bet Björk eats a lot of skyr.

It's very thick. It's on par with Greek yogurt in terms of thickness. It's not an unpleasant texture by any means, but I almost want to compare it to the texture of paste. Not that I've ever eaten paste. I mean, some kids did, but I wasn't one of those kids. I was pretty weird as a kid, but not like paste-eater weird.

Sonia wanted to say the texture was slightly "gritty." I think that's primarily from the berry base, which might contain some faint whispers of raspberry seeds or something along those lines. I don't know that I'd call it gritty. It was pretty smooth to me. Thick. Tacky. But not particularly coarse.

The flavor is unusually subtle. In both cases, there's just a faint fruit flavor behind the tangy yogurt essences. It's slightly sweet—and I mean very slightly sweet. It's almost like what you'd get if you mixed plain Greek yogurt with a spoonful or two of berry flavored yogurt. Color-wise, the product is an extremely faint shade of pink, just a hair on the reddish side of plain yogurt white. Both flavors look remarkably similar.

On the plus side, calories and fat are very low. Protein, on the other hand, is very high. Each cup boasts 15 or 16 grams, about a third of your recommended daily allowance. This skyr yogurt is quite filling.

$1.19 for each 5.3 oz cup—40 cents to one dollar cheaper than leading brands of Greek yogurt in the same size container. Kosher. Found in the refrigerated yogurt and cheese section. Trader Joe's also sells a vanilla skyr flavor, but we weren't able to get our hands on that one this go around. Despite its health benefits, Sonia and I both think we'd stick to more familiar, more palatable yogurts before buying Trader Joe's Icelandic Style Raspberry and Cherry Skyr Lowfat Yogurts again. Still, we're very glad to have tried this interesting product. Seven out of ten stars from both of us.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Apizza Gouda Cheese

If you do an internet search for "apizza gouda" this product is the only thing that comes up. Not sure why we're adding an "a" to the beginning of the word "pizza" because this is essentially just pizza-flavored cheese. Maybe it's there for searchability purposes? Trader Joe's offering pops up if you search for "pizza gouda," but so do many other products and recipes.

At any rate, we paid $5.85 for our wedge of cheese. It's about 13 bucks a pound. Not a bad value, considering it's imported from the Netherlands. You'd think it's Italian, right? Nope. It's Dutch. The striking color and unique name has raised more than a few eyebrows over the past month or two. I know we're not the first ones to review it, but if you read on, I'm sure you'll feel enlightened.

Tasting the cheese straight out of the plastic wrapper, I must admit I wasn't impressed. It was very tomatoey. The spices were quite potent, too. I tasted oregano, garlic, and a faint bit of vinegar. The gouda flavor didn't shine through the veggies and seasonings as much as I would have liked it to.

So we decided to experiment. The beautiful wifey made a grilled cheese sandwich first. Wow. What a difference. When placed on bread, the apizza cheese emulated the flavor of pizza. Imagine that. Nothing but a bit of butter for grilling, some nice thick slices of sourdough, and this apizza gouda, melted, made an outstanding snack. I didn't even whine about not having soup. If I eat grilled cheese, I almost always want soup. In this case, I just inhaled the sandwich with reckless abandon. What kind of soup would go with it? Your guess is as good as mine. Tomato, I suppose.

Then we tried some quesadillas. Not bad. I preferred the grilled cheese since the bread is much thicker than our tiny corn tortillas. Sonia, on the other hand, liked the quesadillas better. She is Mexican, after all.

Finally, we made some flatbread pizzas. We used Trader Joe's Whole Wheat Lavash Flatbread as the base and topped it with this cheese, canned white meat chicken, olives, spinach, and onions. Sonia added a little pesto to hers. We both agreed that one was the best of all. The apizza gouda served as both the tomato sauce and the cheese and all the flavors blended together beautifully. For pictures of the pizzas, simply click on that review of the lavash flatbread or watch the video embedded below.

It's not a great standalone cheese in my humble opinion, but there's a lot you can do with it. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Apizza Gouda eight out of ten stars. I'm torn. It's interesting enough, but it's just so weird and funky unless you heat it up and add it to something else...I'll be nice and give it seven and a half stars.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Buns with Cream Cheese Frosting

Last year we looked at some Danish pastries that made cardamom the star of the spice show. I wasn't particularly smitten with those, but Sonia liked them pretty well. I simply prefer good old American cinnamon buns.

And you might expect this product to be exactly that: a classic Cinnabon-esque dessert treat. However, this too is an actual product of Denmark. I'm not sure how that works. Baked fresh in Copenhagen? And then...teleported to Trader Joe's all over the USA?

This product is almost like if you split the difference between the above-mentioned Brown Sugar Cardamom Buns and your classic American cinnamon bun. I could have sworn I tasted cardamom or clove in ours, but there's nothing like that listed in the ingredients. It's just molasses, brown sugar, and cinnamon in terms of spices and sweeteners.

There's a tartness to these buns that's atypical of most cinnamon buns I've tried. It's unexpected but not entirely unwelcome. I see "citrus fiber" and "cheese culture" in the ingredients. It could be either of those elements providing the tang.

All things considered, though, these treats are sweet, bready, and indulgent. They're much better when warmed up for a spell. I was worried they'd dry out in the oven, so we nuked ours for 12 seconds the first time. They were even better when zapped for about 20 seconds. The cream cheese frosting—arguably the best part of the product—melts and dribbles all over the buns and wakes up a lot of the pastry's more subtle flavors.

As decent and unique as these baked goods are, I think both Sonia and I would opt for other fall treats before picking up this product again. I'll throw out seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Cinnamon Buns with Cream Cheese Frosting. The beautiful wifey will go with eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Italian-Style Wedding Soup

When I do reviews like these, I'm always torn over how to handle my prep for the post. On one hand, I can do a bunch of research and learn as much as possible about a particular offering, maybe read another review or two about the product at hand, particularly ones written by folks who are familiar with the dish, find out the history of the item and get a nice brief but broad education before I sample the food and share my thoughts.

On the other hand, I can just dive in with no expectations and no preconceived ideas about what something is or is not supposed to be. I think I sound a little smarter when I go the former route, but I might be a tad more honest if I go the latter route.

All that to say, I know nothing about Italian wedding soup and have never had it to the best of my knowledge, and I've decided to go the no-prep route on this fine occasion. The first thing that jumps out at me: this Italian wedding soup hails from Canada rather than Italy. That's fine. I'm sure there are plenty of Italian-Canadians that have carried on their proud soup tradition in the great white north just the same as grandma used to make in the old country.

The soup: it's a typical chicken broth with teeny tiny round pasta balls, carrot bits, beef meatballs, and little green flakey things I assume are parsley. The heartiest and most flavorsome of the elements are, of course, the meatballs. They're nice and soft, and their flavor is pleasant, but they're still not the most pungent meatballs I've ever had. They have egg whites, sheep's milk, and Romano cheese in them, but they don't taste quite as robust as their ingredients might make them sound.

The carrots and acini di pepe are even less potent, but they do add a nice selection of textures to the overall mouthfeel. The parsley adds some additional visual appeal and does...you know, whatever parsley is supposed to do.

So, I mean, this isn't the greatest soup I've had from Trader Joe's, but it's not the worst, either. It's vaguely like many chicken noodle soups I've tried in terms of overall taste and comfort food value, but with small beef meatballs instead of chicken.

In the end, I would turn to an Italian and ask, "Did those Canucks do your soup justice?" Because I honestly don't know myself. It's decent soup, but I would not seek it out again.

$4.99 for the 22 oz glass jar. Refrigerate after opening. It has come to my attention that this soup is not necessarily served at actual Italian nuptials. Go figure. The "wedding" part has something to do with a marriage of flavors or something silly like that. 

Six and a half stars out of ten from me for Trader Joe's Italian-Style Wedding Soup. Sonia's had Italian wedding soup from Progresso at least once. She liked it a bit more than this selection, flavor-wise, but notes that it has significantly more sodium than this soup from TJ's. Sonia will go with seven out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 6.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brioche Style Liège Waffles

These waffles are individually wrapped in cellophane. I didn't see that coming. I figured they'd all be sitting in a plastic tray. They're fairly soft and moist and I guess the individual wrapping is meant to keep them that way.

You can eat them straight from the wrapper in the manner of a cookie, or you can remove them from their packaging, toss them into the toaster, add a bit of syrup or what have you, and eat them like miniature waffles. We've tried them both ways and both are pretty tasty. 

Of course the convenience factor is a little higher when you're just snacking on them out of the little baggie, but the indulgence factor is higher when you heat them and add some fixins. We're eager to try them with some vanilla ice cream on top.

They're a tad sticky. I guess it's the "pearl sugar" on them. They're also a bit oily and buttery, too, even before adding any toppings—they do indeed contain both egg and butter. They're nice and sweet, dense and slightly chewy.

The waffles are shelf stable for a couple months. They do come with a "best by" sticker despite being individually wrapped. They'd probably just get a little stale if you let them hang around too long, but for most of you, that won't be a problem.

$3.99 for six waffles, imported from Belgium. Pretty good value. Would probably buy again. Sonia will go with eight out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Brioche Style Liège Waffles with Pearl Sugar. I'll throw out seven and a half stars.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meatball Calzone

Ah, it's been a while since I've had a good calzone. Found this $7 offering in the refrigerated section on our last TJ's run. Most of you already know we're not pork people, but we thought we'd give it a whirl anyway. The meatballs in this item are a mixture of pork and beef.

Twelve minutes in the air fryer had the insides of this calzone piping hot. It was quite a bit of food for just Sonia and me. It's actually a three serving product, and that makes sense.

The bread was a little firm and toasty, crusty and chewy, soft on the inside...all in all, pretty good. The meat? Well there was a ton of meat. In fact, it was pretty much all meat on the inside. The ingredients did mention some parmesan cheese and a tomato-based sauce, but they were barely noticeable.

We were pining for big globs of mozzarella and waves of rich, velvety marinara sauce bursting with oregano and basil flavors, and they simply weren't there in any significant quantities. The product might as well have been all bread and meat. The spices were there along with some whispers of onion and garlic, but we just both wanted more.

We could definitely tell the meatballs were part pork, too. We know a lot of you are big fans of that stuff, so by all means, please try this product and report back here with your thoughts. We just don't think it's as good as the calzones we've had from mom and pop's Italian places or even your run-of-the-mill pizza joint.

$6.99 for the three serving calzone. Found in the refrigerated section. Can be heated in the microwave, conventional oven, or air fryer. Sonia will throw out six and a half stars for Trader Joe's Meatball Calzone. I'll go with six.

Bottom line: 6.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Raspberry, Vanilla & Blueberry Macarons

Not to be confused with macaroons, the macaron is a French sandwich cookie made with egg white, almond flour, sugar, and some creamy or fruity filling. We've seen a bunch of different macaron offerings from Trader Joe's steadily over the course of this blog's tenure. One highlight: the pumpkin macarons. Those are probably still our favorite (although we haven't had them in many years. Let's hope they didn't change suppliers or recipes or anything like that) but these would have to be a close second.

Preparation: you simply thaw the entire pack at room temperature for an hour or in the fridge for four hours. Pro tip: actually let them thaw the whole hour. As much as I love cold desserts and iced treats, the flavors of these macarons hit just a little nicer when they're fully unfrozen.

The blueberry flavor was our favorite by a pretty solid margin, the raspberry our second favorite, and vanilla—though not bad by any means—fell in third. The fruity flavors actually tasted like their namesake berries thanks to the inclusion of actual raspberry and blueberry puree. There's apple in there, too, since apple tends to just lend sweetness and rarely overshadows the tart intensity of something like blueberry or raspberry.

The vanilla cookies tasted nuttier and creamier than their fruit-based counterparts but perhaps not quite as sweet or indulgent somehow. Again, nothing to complain about, but if I had the opportunity to buy a dozen blueberry macarons all by themselves, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Texture-wise, like most good macarons, these were meringue-esque but also soft and slightly chewy. You could feel the almond meal, too, but they never came across as gritty or unpleasant in any way. Very pleasant mouthfeel.

$5.99 for 12 macarons. Product of France. We'd give the blueberry flavor nine out of ten stars. The raspberry and vanilla flavors would get eight and a halfs and eights, respectively. So, in the end, averaging all three scores, both Sonia and I would give Trader Jacques' <ahem> Trader Joe's Raspberry, Vanilla & Blueberry Macarons eight and a half out of ten stars. Would buy again.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Roasted Red Pepper and Almond Pesto Sauce

Here's yet another non-traditional pesto from Trader Joe's. And it's yet another winner in our book. We've got a red pepper base that provides a nice pasty texture and bell pepper flavor. Then we've got pecorino romano cheese for some rich tang and earthiness. Throw almonds and a winning spice blend into the mix and you're looking at a very unique and tasty spread/sauce.

Sonia made some fettuccine pasta with beef meatballs and cheese—see video below. It was scrump-dilly. Any drawbacks? This product isn't as thin as marinara sauce, so it doesn't always coat as well. It's more of a chunky paste rather than a liquid. I wish it had just a bit of heat or spice.

Also, Sonia and I basically polished off the whole jar in a single sitting. They should sell a larger container, although we must admit this small one (9.8 oz) is a great sample size if you just want to taste and experiment with the product before committing to anything larger.

As well as it worked as a pasta sauce, I think I appreciated it even more as a spread on sourdough toast. I could taste all the ingredients quite well. The onion, garlic, basil, and paprika worked great with any savory, salty food. Any veggie and meat combo would be worth trying this with.

$3.99 for the jar. Product of Italy. Organic. Would buy again. Sonia and I will both go with eight and a half out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Organic Roasted Red Pepper and Almond Pesto Sauce.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Nocciolini Tiny Hazelnut Meringues

Cuteness is not generally the first thing I look for in a snack. If it's there, I guess it's a bonus. I won't not eat something because it's cute. It's just not very high on my list of priorities in terms of acquiring, preparing, and eating food.

And despite the fact that cuteness might be the first quality of these little nocciolini that jumps out at you, it's certainly not the only thing they've got going on for them. They've got simple ingredients: sugar, hazelnuts, and egg white. They're not super indulgent, containing only 10% of your RDA for fat, 3% for saturated fat, and 6% for carbs, respectively. And at $2.69 for an Italian import, they won't break the bank either.

But most of you are probably wondering how Trader Joe's Nocciolini Tiny Hazelnut Meringues taste. Well, if you like hazelnuts, you're probably not gonna hate these. They're about the same size as hazelnuts, they're crunchy like hazelnuts, and they taste a heck of a lot like hazelnuts.

So why not just eat some hazelnuts instead, you ask? If you've got a sweet tooth, these are a shade sweeter than your typical hazelnut. If you're someone who's gotta have dessert after a meal, these would certainly fit the bill with their crunchy cookie texture and fun round drop shape. And I don't know if I'd say they're more versatile than hazelnuts, but you could do interesting things with them like decorating cakes or cupcakes or even tossing them on top of yogurt, ice cream, or gelato.

I must admit, I was unimpressed at first, but these tiny hazelnut meringues are growing on me pretty quickly. They stick to my teeth a little, but the flavor is quite pleasant and there's virtually no aftertaste. Sonia likes 'em a lot. She'd buy again for sure, but once again, she wishes they were sold in a larger pack. Let's go with seven and a half stars from me on Trader Joe's Nocciolini. The beautiful wifey will throw out nine out of ten.

Nathan's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 9 out of 10.

Aperol Aperitivo and Martellozzo Prosecco

Ever since Sonia saw Lily Collins downing multiple Aperol Spritz beverages on Emily In Paris, she's wanted to try the trendy Italian drink. So needless to say, she was excited when she spied Aperol Aperitivo on the shelves of our nearest Trader Joe's store. She also snagged an Italian Prosecco on the same shopping trip, though neither is TJ's store brand, obviously.

The only other things you need to make an authentic Aperol Spritz are ice cubes, some seltzer water or club soda, and an orange slice. We already had those on hand, although I'm pretty sure you could find any or all of the ingredients at just about any Trader Joe's—except the booze, of course. Did you know alcohol is only sold at TJ's in 14 states?

At this point I should also note that an Italian Spritz doesn't have to be made with Aperol. There are other brands like Campari and Pronto which are popular here in the States as well as Europe. I know Joe carries Pronto, and it's a bit cheaper than the Aperol.

I can't say what a Spritz tastes like when made with those other brands, but I can tell you that an Aperol Spritz is refreshing, citrusy, and unique. The finished product is a beautiful shade of light orange, and you can smell the fruity flavors wafting from the glass. Of course, you can make it sweeter by adding more Prosecco or more citrusy by adding a bigger orange wedge or less potent by simply adding more sparkling water. I used just a tad more wine than Aperol and a fairly large splash of Polar water because I like my drinks on the fizzy side. Of course, Prosecco has some carbonation of its own but not enough to offset the stillness of the aperitivo.

By itself, the Aperol is mildly bitter and strong. It's got an orange flavor, but there are also notes of grapefruit as well as something herbal or floral. It is considered a "bitter," but I'm told that it's actually sweeter than most other popular aperitivo brands.

$26.99 for 750 mL of Aperol Aperitivo, 11% alcohol by volume, imported from Italy. $8.99 for the Martellozzo Prosecco, 10.5% ABV, also dall'Italia. Would buy both again. Eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for the Aperol Spritz and its constituent ingredients.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Italian Confetti Almonds

I admit I complain a lot about certain Trader Joe's foods being too hard. It seems like other TJ's customers must have adamantium jaws, because I don't hear a lot of other folks making that same observation. Products like English Toffee, Mango Sticky Rice Crisps, and more than one of their sweet cracker "crisps" come to mind. When I eat those delicious yet overly rigid products, I feel like Trader Joe's has made some kind of sinister deal with the American Dental Association to help them drum up demand for extra crowns and fillings.

These almonds feel like they're coated in glass. Fortunately, it's a delicate sugary glass that melts in your mouth if you suck on it long enough. The candy is an interesting, sweet, vanilla-esque flavor. The almonds are flat and long, apparently by virtue of their status as Avola almonds, a species that's indigenous to Sicily, Italy. "Confetti almonds" are apparently a popular favor given out at Italian weddings.

Sonia loves the candy coating even though she, too, agrees that it's excessively hard. We both agree the flavor of the almonds themselves is very good. I think I'd have preferred to try the Avola almonds without the candy since I'm not familiar with them. The shell is okay in my book, but it detracts from the almonds in both taste and texture in the end. And just in case you're wondering, this product was still many months before its best by date when we consumed it.

$4.49 for the 6 oz resealable bag. Imported from Italy. Kosher. Sonia will give Trader Joe's Italian Confetti Almonds 7.5 out of 10 stars because she loves the flavor. I think the taste is nice, but it's not enough to make me ever want to buy these again in their current format. Unfortunately, comparable bags of plain Avola almonds will run you upwards of twelve bucks. Guess I'll wait until TJ's offers Avolas without the armor. Five out of ten stars from me.

Sonia's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Panzerotti Pizza Bites

Four bucks gets you "about 4 servings" of panzerotti. There were 11 little pizza pouches, like mini calzones, in our bag. It's another Italian import, and it's another disappointment, unfortunately.

On the plus side, there's absolutely nothing offensive about these little doughy doodads. They're made of soft flour on the outside and they're filled with mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce. 

Straight out of the air fryer, there are wisps of cheese just starting to ooze from the seams on the little pizza pockets. The only hint I had that these wouldn't be perfectly scrumptious was the curious absence of a fresh-baked pizza smell. There wasn't much odor at all, save for the scent of slightly toasty reheated wheat bread.

And the taste? The same. Remarkably bland for Italian food. You can tell there's cheese and sauce, but it's like they forgot all the spices. I see them listed in the ingredients, but I guess I just want more—more garlic, more oregano, more basil, more pepper.

The texture is pleasant. The shell is soft and fluffy, slightly crispy on the outside, depending on how long you air fry them. The cheese and sauce are nice and gooey, although most specimens could have used a lot more of both. It's mostly just empty space on the inside of the pockets.

You could salvage these by dipping them in tomato bisque or some other kind of creamy, thick soup. Or maybe you could add your own cheese and spices. Again, they're not awful, they just didn't live up to their potential and are far too bland in our opinions.

Seven out of ten stars from Sonia. Six out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Panzerotti Pizza Bites.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Garlic Gondolas

I've said it many times: I'm a carbivore. Not necessarily proud of that. It's just a fact I love breads, pastries, cereals, and all manner of grains. I'm also oddly fond of garlic. I wasn't particularly enamored with it as a kid, but as I've grown old, I've come to appreciate its essence not only baked into Italian style dishes but also raw garlic for its potent medicinal properties and pungency.

Garlic bread? Of course I love garlic bread. We've seen our share of it from Trader Joe's. We've reviewed garlic bread with shrimp, bake at home garlic bread, garlic monkey bread, garlic cheese bread, and even garlic bread cheese. Can't say TJ's garlic bread track record has been particularly stellar. In fact, I think we're still on the hunt for a real winner.

If anybody knows how to make garlic bread, it's the Italians. And not only do we have a uniquely Italian product title with this item, but it is, in fact, an Italian import. So far, so good.

Bake at 425°F for 12 minutes on parchment. Done. The verdict? It's garlicky. It might even be too garlicky for some. Obviously, it's not raw garlic since it's been baking in the oven for the past dozen minutes or so. It's a decent roasted garlic flavor that I can appreciate. No, the garlic flavor isn't the problem here.

The cheese flavor is so subtle I wasn't even sure it had cheese until I looked at the ingredients. It's more like a thin layer of an oily garlic paste on a stiff slab of wheat bread. It's not crispy like Texas toast, but nor is it super soft. It's almost like the slightly chewy dough from a slice of New York style pizza but without any tomato sauce and practically no cheese.

It's not a terrible product, but it seems like it's missing an ingredient or two. Paired with a pasta dish, some marinara sauce, or a bowl of cherry tomatoes, it would be passable. The presentation is unique and interesting, but if you're playing the odds, you'll get better garlic bread from the local mom and pop's Italian restaurant.

Probably would not repurchase. Four bucks for two of Trader Joe's Garlic Gondolas, found in the frozen section. Six out of ten stars from me. Six and a half from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 6.25 out of 10.