Haul & Oats, August 2026

image generated by Gemini

Time for another big Trader Joe's run. Yet again, we bought as many brand new products as we could get our hands on. We also bought dozens of classic items like salsas, drinks, and sauces. Sonia bought her favorite unsweetened instant oatmeal, too. That's why I've dubbed this one Haul & Oats, get it?

She likes Trader Joe's Unsweetened Instant Oatmeal for the multiple grains: oats, quinoa, and amaranth. She also likes that it's unsweetened in this case so she can use honey and berries to sweeten it herself. $3.79 for 8 packets. Gluten free. Kosher. She gives it 9 out of 10 stars. Looky here for nutrition info.

Let us know in the comments which products you'd like us to review first. We've already sampled a good many of these new items and have a few reviews coming down the pipeline, so stay tuned. Please check out the haul video in YouTube and like, share, hype, and subscribe! Thanks for watching.

Trader Joe's Pickled Red Onions

Trader Joe's Pickled Red Onions are all about the convenience factor. For $3.29, you get 12 oz of the tangy, crunchy condiment. Sure, you could make your own. But will you? For some folks the answer is yes, and they're already in the habit of chopping and pickling their own onions right in the kitchen. For others, the answer is "I could, but I know I won't."

Both answers are valid. Sonia and I sometimes buy a jar of pickles and then when we've finished the product within, we save the juice and pickle whatever else needs pickling: onions, cucumbers, jalapeños...you name it. I just don't trust myself to get the vinegar to salt to sugar ratio quite as perfectly as a company that's been pickling stuff professionally for decades.

Trader Joe's Pickled Red Onions are quite vinegary—more so than other pickled onions I've tried. That's certainly not a bad thing, especially if you like the acidic taste of vinegar. There's plenty of onion flavor and the garlic, salt, and black peppercorn adds a faint but noticeable background essence. I think I prefer the Lime Pickled Onions from Broken Taco when it comes right down to it, but they tend to be a bit more expensive.

These pickled onions add a nice tang to tacos, burgers, and salads. We're especially fond of putting them in beef tacos—see pic. They're also legit on hotdogs and avocado toast. I threw some on top of an omelette as a garnish and it worked just fine. The sky's the limit. The only question is: how will we use the leftover pickle juice once the onions are gone? If we throw little cucumber slices in the jar will we get oniony pickles?

Sonia and I would both buy this one again. Just as good as Trader Joe's Pickled Jalapeño Slices. The beautiful wifey will go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Pickled Red Onions. I'll throw out seven and a half.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Coconut Cashew Candy Clusters

During our initial taste test, Sonia likened Trader Joe's Coconut Cashew Candy Clusters to the Girl Scout classic: Samoas. I guess it's a fairly obvious comparison. Both have coconut, caramel, and chocolate. The most obvious differences are that these have cashew nuts like another recently-reviewed candy offering from TJ's and these come in a "cluster" format rather than neat, uniform circular cookies.

It's been a hot minute since I've had a box of Girl Scout Cookies, but I'd say these are significantly sweeter than Samoas. Honestly, they're a little too sweet for me. I'm glad Trader Joe's went with milk chocolate rather than dark chocolate for once, but the presence of several different types of sugar and caramel pushes these happy morsels way past the mark in my opinion. I mean, the nuts themselves are "coconut cashews" that already contain cane sugar. It's sugar on sugar on sugar with a whisper of nuttiness.

Also, Samoas have an actual cookie element that adds structural stability. These candies are much gooier. There is a slight crunchy element in the mix which I assume is the coconut cashews. It almost feels and tastes like little pieces of toffee, but I don't see mention of toffee in the ingredients. Not my favorite texture in the world, either.

Still, most folks will find these palatable if not downright delicious. I would have gone absolutely mad for these in my younger years. These days, I'm looking for something a little more balanced, a little more restrained. I would have liked significantly more coconut flavor and cashew flavor. Furthermore, this summer heat makes candy like this a sticky mess. The chocolate and caramel melt instantly upon contact with fingers and hands. Makes me want to put on latex gloves before reaching into the bag.

But even grumpy old men can appreciate super sweet chocolatey candy once in a while. As long as I only eat one or two pieces at a time and wash them down with a swig of milk, I'll easily put a dent in the bag. With a little help from the beautiful wifey, we'll polish off the 6.3 oz package in a few days. Thankfully, it's resealable so we don't have to eat the whole thing at once.

$4.99 for the five serving bag. Kosher. Probably wouldn't buy this one again, personally, but there are plenty of people out there who rave about it. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Coconut Cashew Candy Clusters seven and a half stars. Once again, I'll go with seven out of ten.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Passion Fruit Orange Guava 100% Juice Blend

Remember Pogs? That fad became popular when I was a teenager, so I was never really into it myself, but I remember seeing the youngsters playing the game in the 90s. "Who would want to collect milk caps?" I'd ask my teenage buddies. "Kids these days are lame." We had much cooler things to do like hacky sacking and butchering covers of STP and Bush with our cheap guitars and cracking voices.

Apparently the game was originally played with caps from a passionfruit, orange, and guava juice blend. Yep, that's actually where the name "Pogs" comes from. And this juice blend has been referred to as POG since the 1970s in Hawaii. While I've had each of these juices individually, I think this is the first time I've actually had POG.

I can totally see what all the fuss is about. This is an outstanding combo of juices. Passionfruit juice is nice and tart. Orange juice lends that bright, familiar citrus sweetness. Guava juice is tangy, sweet, and tropical, and it adds a bit of thickness. The whole thing together tastes exotic and refreshing—much more exciting than any single juice by itself.

Folks make POG lemonade with this stuff. Just add regular lemonade for a virgin cocktail or mix POG, your favorite lemonade, and one or two shots of vodka or soju for a tasty alcoholic version. I'm sure you could skip the lemonade and just mix the POG directly with your spirit of choice.

I think this stuff tastes and feels better on the rocks. It's so thick by itself, a bit of ice helps keep it super cold and also as it melts, it thins the juice just a tad. Straight from the can is perfectly viable, but it gets warm quite quickly and it's nearly nectar-esque in terms of density. Sonia and I both like it better with a bunch of ice. We think a version that comes pre-mixed with sparkling water would be worth a try.

$4.49 for four 8.45 oz cans. Product of Vietnam. Perfect summer beverage. Sonia likes this blend a tad more than Trader Joe's Organic Guava Nectar, while I'd lean toward the nectar just by a hair. I really like that guava and white grape juice combination. POG is a very close second. Eight out of ten stars from me on Trader Joe's Passion Fruit Orange Guava 100% Juice Blend. The beautiful wifey will raise me by half a star.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Cashews

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Cashews are the latest in a very, very long line of random things covered in dark chocolate. Don't believe me? Other things they've covered in dark chocolate throughout the years include:

Corn Nuts
Almonds
Graham Crackers
Pistachios
Bacon
Gummy Bears
Coffee Beans
Espresso Beans
Pretzels
Mango Sorbet
Dried Mango
Cookie Sticks
Elephant Dung

Okay, that last one may have involved an element of creative license, but all the others have been totally real, actually-available products at Trader Joe's at one point in time. And that's just a short list off the top of my head. There have been dozens and dozens more that aren't even listed above. Thankfully, most of them have disappeared never to return.

This product falls nearer the top of the list than the bottom I think, in terms of overall edibility. I love me some cashews. Thankfully, these cashews are nice and soft and creamy. They're nothing like the oddly hard and crunchy cashews we found in the Garlic Butter Nut Mix. It may have something to do with the well-above average temperatures we've been having, but I feel like these were among the softest cashews I've ever had. They're very high quality and taste great.

Unfortunately, most of that natural cashew flavor is drown out by copious quantities of dark chocolate. Even Sonia agrees. She'd prefer a greater nut to chocolate ratio. Also, I'd prefer milk chocolate—though I'm quite certain I'm in the minority on that point. And I must admit that as dark chocolate goes, this stuff isn't particularly bitter. I just generally prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate, but I'm consistently outvoted when debates arise. After all, milk chocolate makes your teeth rot out while dark chocolate is a healthy superfood rich with antioxidants. I digress.

The resealable bag is nice. Nuts are expensive, so five bucks for a 6 oz bag is fine I guess. They're kosher. They're salty and sweet. They're perfectly snackable. Sonia would buy them again. I won't hate on Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Cashews any more than I already have. If you like dark chocolate covered things and cashew nuts, you'll most likely enjoy these quite a bit.

Sonia's score: 8.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's BBQ Flavored Potato Chips

As much as I love novelty and uniqueness, there are certain things a consumer should be able to rely on year after year, decade after decade. I was raised on two outstanding potato chip brands, both with outstanding barbecue flavor offerings. The first you've likely heard of: Utz. Based in Hanover, PA, they offer a widely-available sweet and mild barbecue potato chip that's easy to appreciate and much more interesting than a plain potato chip in my humble opinion. Some Redditors speculate that this Trader Joe's product is simply Utz in disguise.

The other barbecue chip I loved as a kid was Gibble's, made right in my hometown, Chambersburg. Fried in lard rather than vegetable oil, Gibble's offers a much richer flavor with a hearty crunch.

Trader Joe's BBQ Flavored Potato Chips have a softer, lighter crunch more similar to the Utz chips I know and love. They have a good bit of sweetness to them, but there's also a subtle hint of bite thanks to the presence of onion, garlic, paprika, black pepper, cinnamon, and clove. That's quite a spice blend for a simple potato chip.

But back to the reliability factor for a moment. These are the fourth or fifth barbecue chip we've seen from TJ's over the years, but most of those previous iterations aren't available anymore. If you've been shopping at Joe's for a long time, you'll no doubt remember Trader Joe's Hickory Barbeque Potato Chips. Those were a mainstay in our pantry for years and years.

In 2013, we saw Trader Joe's imitate the popular PopChips with their Barbeque Popped Potato Chips. I REALLY liked those, but of course, they vanished just as quickly as they appeared. Later, we saw a strange potato and corn snack with barbecue flavor. And in more recent years, we've had the Carolina Gold BBQ Potato Chips which I believe, shockingly, are still currently available. I like those a bit more than my erstwhile blogging colleague that penned that review seemed to, although I have to say I like these a bit better than the Carolina dealies despite being on record saying I prefer ridge cut potato chips.

$2.99 for the 10 oz bag. Pretty decent value. Kosher. Gluten free. Would buy again. Fingers crossed they keep these around for a while...or at least bring back those wannabe PopChips. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's BBQ Flavored Potato Chips. I'll think I'll match her score this time.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Gnocchi

The first thing that jumps out at me about Trader Joe's Gnocchi is the value: it's only two bucks...and it's imported from Italy. We're talking four servings of authentic Italian gnocchi for $1.99. And it did indeed provide two separate meals for two adults in our case. That's pretty mind-blowing in terms of cost-effectiveness and affordability.

The second thing that jumps out at me about this product is its shelf stable status. No refrigeration required. This bag of gnocchi wasn't even purchased on our last Trader Joe's run—it's from quite a few months ago. The "best by" date is in December of this year. It would have stayed good for the better part of a year. I didn't even know that was possible. You could buy a dozen of these and have them on hand in your pantry to prepare for months and months after you purchase them. That's ultra-convenient.

Just boil for two minutes. Drain. Simmer in your favorite pasta sauce for two more minutes. We decided to bake ours in the oven in a non-TJ's tomato sauce along with some beef sausage, mozzarella, and parmesan cheeses. Came out great.

We added some Trader Joe's Aglio Olio Seasoning as well as some Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute. The whole thing tasted wonderful. The gnocchi is potato-based, so there is a faint potato flavor to it. There's also a hint of sourness from the lactic acid which is added as a natural preservative. It blends quite well with the cheeses, sauce, and sausage.

I'm sure it's not quite as impressive as fresh-made stuff from an Italian restaurant, but the texture of this product is possibly the best gnocchi mouthfeel I've experienced to date. It's "pillowy," just the way good gnocchi is supposed to be. I'd also call it soft, fluffy, and slightly chewy.

If you were lacking the extra ingredients or wanted to keep things uber-simple, these would be fine simmered in some butter or olive oil with just a dusting of sage or your favorite Italian seasoning blend. You could toss them in soup in lieu of croutons or dumplings. I'd even throw them on a salad if I had a bunch of greens begging for carbs of some kind.

Sonia and I would both definitely buy Trader Joe's Gnocchi again. Found with the other pasta products. Product of Italy. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Seven and a half stars from me, losing a couple points because they're not exactly a flavor extravaganza on their own. They do need a bit of help. Also, some folks may find the sour lactic acid flavor off-putting. Still, the value is outstanding.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's French Galettes Butter Cookies

Sonia and I first tried these galettes during a multi-cookie showcase we did on video a couple weeks ago. Truth be told, I wasn't exactly enamored with these confections from square one. But of all the cookies we tasted that day, these grew on me the most and actually turned out to be my favorites over time.

Trader Joe's French Galettes Cookies remind me a bit of Royal Dansk Danish butter cookies. You know the big blue tin that Grandma would get for the family at Christmas time..? Yeah, kinda like that, but these are tad more dense and firm, not as crumbly, and I'd say these are saltier than their Danish counterparts.

They're perfect for dunking in hot coffee or your beverage of choice. They're plenty sweet, but more than that, there's that cultured butter vibe. It really grew on me. It's rich and complex. Sonia mentioned she'd eat them with jelly or jam, while other folks suggest they pair well with fresh fruit or ice cream. For the most part, we just enjoyed them straight from the pack with a spot of tea or java.

There are three separately packaged sets of four cookies each, so you only have to open a third of the box at a time. That helps keep the majority of the cookies fresher, longer. It might be an excessive amount of packaging, but the beautiful wifey and I both think it's worth it.

$3.99 for twelve galette cookies imported from France—apparently from some fancy schmancy bakery in Nantes. Might buy again. Seven and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's French Galettes Butter Cookies. I'll go with seven out of ten—which is actually a very high score for me for crunchy cookies of any kind.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Guava Nectar

Beverages don't get much more summery than this juice blend. It's sweet. It's tropical. It's refreshing. Traderjoes.com even threw us a bone and shared a recipe for a frozen guava daiquiri using this fine product right here.

Wish I could say I've actually made the daiquiris already, but alas, the most exotic thing I've done with it is mix it with orange juice. If you pour the guava nectar into your glass first, the OJ sits on top since it's less dense. It looks a bit like a tequila sunrise. It makes a very pretty and, more importantly, very tasty mocktail.

This nectar tastes extremely similar to the recently-reviewed Trader Joe's Organic Guava Spread, which we really enjoyed. It's like they liquefied the thick, jam-like spread and turned it into a chuggable beverage. This nectar is just a tad thicker than regular juice, but it's not quite as thick as some other fruit nectars I've tried.

Ingredients-wise, we're looking at water, guava puree, and white grape juice concentrate as the top three. White grape juice will generally add a bunch of sweetness to any juice blend, although we do have a bit of added sugar further down the list. It's more than enough sweetness to offset the natural tartness of the guava puree.

We did a beverage roundup/haul/showcase on video with about seven different currently-available Trader Joe's drinks, and I think this was my favorite one of all. Sonia and I have polished off the majority of the bottle in about 48 hours since it's so hot here and this drink really hits the spot in terms of refreshment and quenchability.

$3.99 for the 32 oz bottle. Shelf stable until opened, refrigerate after opening. Certified organic. Would buy again. Eight and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Guava Nectar. The beautiful wifey will go with eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salted Almond Honey Granola

Cereal is another one of those categories on this blog that probably makes me sound like a Debbie Downer more often than not. It's not that Trader Joe's cereals are particularly bad, it's just that we've seen so many that it takes something incredibly special to really wow us. The most recent cereal to do that was the outstanding Homestyle Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola just a couple months back. While Sonia and I are not quite as enthusiastic about Trader Joe's Salted Almond Honey Granola, we'll definitely give this one a thumbs up and a positive recommendation—particularly if that cherry pistachio stuff isn't available for some reason.

This cereal has lots of big almond slices. In the video review, I called them "slabs" of almond. I have to say they were pretty generous with the nuts in this case. They're excellent quality and there are plenty of 'em.

The granola is nice. There are very few of those obnoxiously large boulders of granola that you have to use a pick axe to get apart like we've seen a few times in the past. Bonus: there are corn flakes in the mix. Some are floating free and some are fused to the little chunks of granola. There's also rice flour in there. Not sure where that comes into play to be honest. Maybe they're flakes of corn and rice..? At any rate, the flavor is more complex than most granolas that only employ oats. This one has oats, corn, and rice. Yum.

The cereal is pleasantly sweet, but not overly so. It tastes vaguely like honey because there is some actual honey in the ingredients list. If I have one complaint, it's that I'd want honey as the primary sweetener in the granola rather than cane sugar. Nothing against good old cane sugar, but this cereal would be more aptly named Trader Joe's Salted Almond Cane Sugar Granola...with a touch of honey.

Nitpick much? Yes. Yes, I do.

Overall, it's a nice neutral, hearty, grainy flavor with an appropriate amount of sweetness. Sonia and I would both buy it again. Kosher. $3.99 for the resealable 12 oz bag. We'll both go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Salted Almond Honey Granola.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ranch Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips

After trying Trader Joe's Original Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips—the ones with chili lime flavor, we knew we had to check out this latest addition to the lineup: Trader Joe's Ranch Flavored Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips.

Right up front, the taste is ranchtastic. And if you've ever enjoyed a certain blue-bagged ranch tortilla chip from a certain major snack company, you'll immediately recognize where TJ's is going here. These taste very similar to Cool Ranch Doritos. There's that familiar tangy, savory, slightly cheesy ranch seasoning that coats your mouth and makes it really hard to stop reaching back into the bag.

But here, there's a little something extra going on. The seasoning blend is superb. There's onion, garlic, black pepper, and parsley all hanging out together, giving these chips a little more depth than just your standard ranch powder. The garlic and onion give them that savory punch, while the black pepper adds a tiny bit of bite. The parsley is a nice touch too, giving the flavor a little bit of freshness in the middle of all that salty snack goodness. These definitely aren't bland ranch chips.

We're aware that Takis has a ranch flavored offering, too, but neither of us have tried Buckin' Ranch Takis. I've heard mixed reviews about that product. Seems like Takis' wheelhouse is spicy stuff, but some folks say they do ranch pretty well, too.

To be quite honest, Sonia and I usually prefer our tortilla chips in the classic flat triangle shape. There's something about the regular tortilla chip that just works. It's lighter, easier to eat, and most importantly: it makes a much better vehicle for dipping.

The rolled shape is fun, but it also makes them feel a little denser and crunchier than a typical tortilla chip. There's a lot of chip packed into every bite. If you're eating handful after handful, that extra density starts to become noticeable. I thought it was my imagination at first, but I kinda feel like these are a tad thicker and harder than their chili lime counterparts.

In the end, the ranch flavor is spot on, the seasoning blend is delicious, and they absolutely hit the spot if you're craving Cool Ranch Doritos while cruising the aisles at Trader Joe's. Sonia and I both prefer crispy, wispy tortilla chips over something this dense, and we'd probably grab the chili lime offering again before this one—but if you're a ranch chip fan, these are absolutely worth a try. Trader Joe's Ranch Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips are fun, flavorful, and a decent addition to Trader Joe's snack aisle. $2.99. Kosher. Gluten free. Seven and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's 12 Mini Blueberry Scones

Sonia and I both have the same introductory reference point for scones: Starbucks circa the early-mid 2000s. She was partial to the maple oat nut scone while blueberry has always been my go-to. All things considered, I'd have to say these bake 'em yourself petite pastries are comparable to the classic Starbucks offering if perhaps a tad less sweet and less dense. Also TJ's are "miniature" scones, so these are much smaller.

Trader Joe's 12 Mini Blueberry Scones will run you $5.49. They come frozen, and you bake from frozen: 375° for 14-16 minutes. We had ours in for about 17 minutes before it was all said and done.

They came out nice and hot, soft, crumbly, and reasonably sweet. You can both see and taste that there's no sugar glaze on these scones. That's just fine with Sonia and me.

Each specimen had between one and four visible blueberries on the outside of the pastry. On the inside, there were none. The couple of berries you see poking out of the dough are just about all you're gonna get, unfortunately. Each bite with a blueberry is well-balanced, juicy, fruity, and sweet. Each bite without a blueberry is doughy and comparatively bland—not awful. But these bready breakfast bites would be bounds better with beaucoup blueberries.

Have them with tea or coffee. Slather them with blueberry preserves. Serve them with clotted cream. Whip up some powdered sugar frosting. There are plenty of ways to dress up these scones. And honestly, they're quite noshable as is. Trader Joe was just predictably stingy with the fruit—and that's really our only complaint. I guess a resealable freezer bag might be nice, too, in case you don't want to eat all 12 scones at once.

We'd still buy 'em again. Look for Trader Joe's 12 Mini Pumpkin Ginger Scones with the same style packaging come fall. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia. Seven and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Blueberry Scones.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Greek Style Chicken Salad

Now before we get started looking at Trader Joe's Greek Style Chicken Salad, we have to remember the ghosts of chicken salads past and put this all in perspective. Trader Joe's was once home to the two best chicken salads I've ever had: Trader Joe's Curried White Chicken Deli Salad and Trader Joe's Wine Country Chicken Salad, neither of which I've seen in quite a while. At some point, the curried chicken salad underwent a repackaging and renaming and became a slightly different product called simply Trader Joe's Curry Chicken Salad. I'm told it wasn't even close to that aforementioned Curried White Chicken Deli Salad, though I did not sample that version of it and can not provide confirmation of those allegations.

Likewise, at least one report came in years after the fact that the Wine Country Chicken Salad underwent a similar disappointing change near the end of its life cycle at Trader Joe's. Basically what I'm saying is that I've never had chicken salad that good before or since. I'm not saying those selections were healthy in any way. On the contrary, they packed a surprising amount of fat and calories for a food that's often thought of as light and reasonably healthy—particularly the curried offering. But my goodness, if they weren't delicious...

Anyhoo, this is one of the few chicken salad offerings that's caught our eye in recent years and we're here to tell you it's tasty, but it's not exactly the Homer's Odyssey of the chicken salad world. There's plenty of good and plenty of meh and if you want the nitty gritty, please read on.

What's working? There's a fair amount of quality white meat chicken, though the chunks could be bigger. They're more like wispy shreds of chicken as it stands. There's a nice salty vibe throughout the mix, though it's not over-the-top briny or thirst inducing. The spice blend including onions, garlic, parsley, black pepper, and dill provides a nice Greek undertone. The olives and artichoke hearts add a pleasant touch providing some hearty veggies and tender, meaty earthiness.

The sundried tomatoes are about the only element Sonia and I are split on. I found them to be too big, too intrusive, and a tad too chewy, while Sonia thought they worked just fine. She's far more into tomato than I am, although I can throw down with sundried tomatoes in some contexts.

Still, we both found the product lacking that WOW factor. We both wanted feta cheese. Who makes a Greek chicken salad without feta? A few crumbles of the delectable Mediterranean brined curd cheese might have pushed this product over the top into greatness. As it stands, it's worth a try but not legendary.

$5.49 for the 10 oz tub, found near the refrigerated salads, cheeses, and hummus type things. Might buy again. Seven and a half stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Greek Style Chicken Salad. I think I'll follow suit.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Bars

Sonia and I are 100% in agreement that Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Bars are a better summer buy than the recently-reviewed Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Pieces. These are cold. They provide more refreshment. Their taste is closer to that of an actual root beer float. The candy pieces melt in the heat. They're a tad too sweet. They don't taste quite enough like root beer.

The only point I'll give to the root beer pieces that I can't give to these popsicles is the novel presence of popping candies. The cookie chunks fizz like real soda. I kinda wish they'd put Pop Rocks or whatever we're calling them in these fun frozen treats. Sonia disagrees. She hates fun.

Just kidding. She's a girl and girls just wanna have fun, after all. I guess we just differ on what constitutes fun occasionally. For example, I love roller coasters. I think they're a blast and a half. Sonia? Not so much. She'll get on a kiddie coaster once in a while but she's terrified of the big rides. Okay, now I'm getting off track.

Back to the popsicles. I mean, these aren't just popsicles. They're also ice cream bars. They're the best of both worlds. Vanilla ice cream on a stick surrounded by frozen root beer. That's a fun idea. That idea's so summery, it should be illegal to keep these in your freezer and consume them in any season but summer. That's why TJ's takes them away come fall time. The root beer pieces go away around then, too, but they don't seem as summery to me.

Usually I'm cursing at Trader Joe for making half his inventory seasonal, but with these, it makes sense. There's a nice balance of sweet, earthy root beer and creamy vanilla bliss. The first bite kinda tastes more like root beer but once you get further down the bar, it seems like there's a plethora of vanilla ice cream.

$3.79 for six bars. Kosher. Found in the frozen section, duh. We'd buy these again next summer for sure—or maybe even on our next TJ run. But there's probably too many other new treats to try to make room in our freezer bags for these. I dunno. We'll see. Eight and a half stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Bars. I'll go with eight out of ten on this one.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Pieces

There's just something about a root beer float that screams summertime. You've got the earthy bite of the root beer, the sweet vanilla cream, and the fizz of the soda. They all come together for such a great flavor that's cold and refreshing. And why root beer? I mean, cola floats work just fine. I think it's the way the root beer and ice cream interact to create such a fluffy head of foam. Can a solid piece of candy possibly capture the magic of a real root beer float?

Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Pieces will run you $3.79, and I must admit they're fun and unique. They've got a vanilla cream sandwich cookie for a base which is covered in a root beer flavored confectionery coating. Plot twist: there are Pop Rocks to add fizz, just like actual root beer. Okay, it's "popping candy." But we all know who made popping candy famous.

The vanilla cream in the center is cloyingly sweet. And it's topped with cookie which is topped with more sweet candy. It's a bit over the top in terms of sugary sweetness if you ask me. Part of the brilliance of a root beer float is the balance of flavors. There's definitely some root beer taste in these candies, but the cookie part of the equation overshadows it by a good margin.

Sonia and I like Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Bars popsicles significantly better than these dry candies. Their flavor is much closer to that of a traditional root beer float and the refreshment factor is head and shoulders higher than these sticky sweet candy pieces. These root beer bites definitely have their fanbase—plenty of rave reviews out there if you go looking for them. We'll put 'em solidly in "not bad" territory. The beautiful wifey gives Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Pieces seven and a half out of ten stars. I'll throw out seven out of ten.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Flakes & Strawberries Cereal

It's true that some TJ's products can vary from batch to batch, but my goodness, if our box of Trader Joe's Flakes & Strawberries Cereal was anywhere close to average, then they seriously need to change the photo on the cover of the package. It's straight up misleading to show a bowl of flakes with about eight or nine freeze dried strawberry slices sitting right on top when in reality there are only two or three per bowl, on average.

Sonia's first bowl had none. Zip. Zero. Nada. Zilch. We dug through the bag and manually added some strawberries we found on down the way. Even if you divvy up the berries so there's one in each of your first bites, there are still way more bites with nothing but flakes left over at the end.

In fairness, the flakes aren't bad in and of themselves. They have a nice crunch. They don't get soggy too quickly. We like the wheat and rice blend. They're lightly sweet. Not bad, not bad.

But if we wanted plain flakes, we'd have purchased plain cereal. We're hunting for strawberries here. Enter: Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Strawberries to save the day. I think the price went up on the berries since we published that review, but it's still a very decent product—along with its blueberry counterpart.

The freeze dried strawberries product appears to be the exact same commodity that we find sparsely distributed throughout the cereal. They're thin slices of brittle strawberry, mostly good quality. Same color. Same texture. Same good sweet-tart flavor.

After adding a whole bunch of the extra strawberry pieces, the cereal went from zero to hero. We easily finished our bowls, and a couple days later, the bag. Of course, you could always add fresh strawberries. That would work, too. I mean, you can always dress things up to suit your taste, but when the title of the product advertises strawberries, we're expecting a decent amount of strawberries to already be in the cereal.

$2.99 for the 11.7 oz box. Kosher. Product of Canada. Sonia would like to point out that although we're being a tad critical of this product, it's still better than Special K with Red Berries. Fair enough. Still, we probably wouldn't pick up Trader Joe's Flakes & Strawberries Cereal again for lack of freeze dried berries. Six and a half stars from Sonia. Five and a half stars from me.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Red, White & Blue Cookie Bites

Decades ago, my father was a tour guide at Independence Hall in Philadelphia. He often remembered the bicentennial year—just a few years before I was born—in 1976. He recalled it as a year-long celebration that saw a huge rise in tourism in Philly. People seemed more interested in US history and the birth of our nation. There were reenactments, parties, fireworks displays, and festivities of all kinds. A few times he'd remarked to me as a child: "Well, you'll be around for the 250th anniversary of our country." And here I am.

We won't be attending any major Fourth of July events this year, but 7/4/26 has been a date planted in my psyche for a very long time now. As far as festivities go, Sonia and I will keep things simple but fun. I mean, we have napkins and plates with red, white, and blue stars. And thanks to Trader Joe's, we have these super duper patriotic cookie bites.

Those of you who've been reading for a while now understand it takes a really special cookie to get a glowing review on this blog. That's not what's going to happen here, unfortunately, but hey I'm down with the fun red, white, and blue theme and there's at least some uniqueness going on here, so let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?

Trader Joe's Red, White & Blue Cookie Bites are tiny balls of crunchy vanilla cookie surrounded by fruit-flavored candy coatings. The red flavor tastes like cherry and the tub is mostly that red flavor for some reason. I think it represents courage, valor, and sacrifice. Or maybe it just stands for cherry. I like the flavor okay, but there is a bit of that cough syrup vibe.

The blue flavor is blueberry-esque. I like it a tad better than its crimson counterpart. Also justice, vigilance, and perseverance are admirable qualities. Go USA.

The white flavor tastes like lemon to me. It's the best of all and there were like five in the entire gigantic tub. Apparently Trader Joe doesn't believe in purity and innocence. I'm kidding. Or am I?

It's going to be hot this Fourth of July, and the candy coating on these cookie bites is going to melt if you take them to a barbecue or outdoor party or something. So...I wish we had like some Trader Joe's Bomb Pops or some other frozen America-themed treat to review today, but I guess you can always do something indoors...in the air conditioning...and hope these vaguely snackable cookies stay solid long enough to try one of each flavor before you say "meh" and hand the tub to the kids.

Should I even score this one? I mean they're not bad. It's just...they're not great either. Someone commented on our YouTube channel "This guy should not be allowed to review cookies." Maybe that's true. I am terribly jaded when it comes to cookies. We've literally reviewed over a hundred types of Trader Joe's brand cookies. Maybe I should refrain from posting negative cookie reviews because normal folks seem to be fond of every cookie that TJ's puts out. Leave your own personal score for these cookies in the comments. Let's just do it that way.

Five bucks for the ten ounce tub. Kosher. Personally, I wouldn't buy Trader Joe's Red, White & Blue Cookie Bites again. Have a great Fourth of July weekend, everybody. Stay safe out there.

Bottom line: America turns 250 years old this weekend and these are red, white, and blue cookie bites.