Trader Joe's Everything But the Pizza Whipped Cream Cheese Spread

Trader Joe’s Everything But the Pizza Whipped Cream Cheese Spread is one of those products where the name does a lot of heavy lifting. It promises pizza vibes without actually being pizza, which is… ambitious. After spending some quality time with it, the best way to describe it is this: it’s basically sun-dried tomato–flavored cream cheese, with a supporting cast of garlic and Italian herbs trying their best to sell the illusion.

To get this out of the way: it doesn’t really belong on pizza. If you’re thinking of slathering it over a slice, maybe pause and reconsider your life choices. That said, where it unexpectedly shines is as a pizza crust dunking sauce. Once you’ve eaten all the sauce and cheese and you’re left holding a sad, naked crust, this spread swoops in and saves the day. Suddenly, the crust feels intentional.

Trader Joe's Everything But the Pizza Cream Cheese also works surprisingly well as a chip dip. The whipped texture makes it easy to scoop, and the tangy tomato flavor pairs nicely with plain chips. It’s bold enough to be interesting without being so intense that you regret your decisions halfway through the bag.

Bagel-wise, it’s kosher, spreads easily, and does the job. Is it a classic bagel flavor? No. But if you like savory spreads and are open to a Mediterranean-adjacent breakfast moment, it’s perfectly respectable.

As a sandwich spread, it’s actually pretty decent. We liked it on sourdough with chicken and arugula, where the acidity of the tomato flavor cut through the richness and kept things from feeling heavy. It adds moisture and personality without completely hijacking the sandwich.

At $2.79 for 8 ounces, it’s a fair deal for a whipped cream cheese that feels a little more “specialty” than plain. Is it my favorite Trader Joe’s cream cheese flavor? No. Will I buy it every time? Also no. But it’s interesting, different, and worth trying at least once—if only to confirm that “everything but the pizza” is, in fact, a very Joesian idea. 

Seven and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Seven out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Everything But the Pizza Whipped Cream Cheese Spread. Check out our video review embedded below where we try it with everything from pizza to chicken wings to Trader Joe's Ridge Cut Horseradish & Chives Potato Chips.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.