Video: A Discussion About Our Favorite and Least Favorite Trader Joe's Spices and Seasonings

 

Trader Joe's Seafood Boil

You know what my favorite type of seafood is? Corn on the cob. Ah, it'll be harvest time soon and we'll be casting our nets in the bay and pulling those ears of corn out by the hundreds. Yum. Then we'll boil them up along with a bunch of other ocean critters like sausage and potatoes, similar to what we have here with this quaint, seasonal Trader Joe's product.

Matter of fact, it might be done for the year right now. No matter. This review will still be good next year if this product comes back. There might still be a few stragglers out there in TJ's freezers here and there. I'm not sure how that works, quite frankly, and I don't care. Or like the beautiful wifey and me, you might have this sitting in the back of your freezer at home and you're wondering when to boil it up.

Like my old man always said, "There's no time like the present." Sounds good. Let's fire up the big black pot on the stove and get boiling.

The only authentic cajun style cooking I've really ever had was at The Gumbo Pot at the Farmers Market in Los Angeles. I'm not calling it authentic myself. My old friends with their extended family from Louisiana told me it was legit, and it seemed pretty tasty to me. Catfish. Gumbo. Crawfish. You name it, they served it, and it was very flavorful, spicy, and delicious.

This Trader Joe's product? Oddly, the only element that seemed to really flaunt any cajun spice was the sausage, and as many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of pork sausage. The texture and taste of the seafood was fine, but none of it was really bursting with sassy Southern spices. The potatoes were soft and unoffensive, but again, not particularly flavorful. The corn on the cob was interesting. If anything, it absorbed more of the cajun spices than anything else, but still, it begged for a dusting of chile lime or cayenne pepper.

It's a fair amount of food, but Sonia and I easily polished it off in a single sitting. There were only three little corn on the cob pieces in the whole mix, four slices of sausage, a half dozen shrimp, and three or four pieces of each other element. For ten bucks, it's a little steep for grocery store fare.

Again, this was a seasonal item which may or may not be back for next year. We had it in the back of the freezer and there are my thoughts, for whatever they're worth. Sonia ate her portion without complaint but she had to add plenty of extra seasonings. She'll throw out six out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Seafood Boil. I'll go with five out of ten.

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Olive Flats

When I first found out Latinos eat "lengua," I was like, "Oh, is it a beef patty shaped like a tongue or something..?" Then I found out it's, you know, like actual cow tongue. So when I saw that these were "lingue crackers," I was like, "Oh no! Please tell me the Italians don't eat crackers made of dried cow tongue!" And sure enough, they don't. These crackers are named after the Italian word for "tongue" simply because of their shape. Phew.

And they're pretty good, you know? They're nothing to write home about in and of themselves, but by that same token, these are the first crackers I've ever tried with olives baked into them. No, wait. Scratch that. These are the second crackers I've tried with olives baked into them. But these are significantly better in my honest opinion.

They're salty and savory with just enough briny olive flavor to keep it interesting. Fancy folks might pair them with expensive creamy cheeses like Brie and exotic charcuterie stuff, but I can confirm they pair well with lowbrow toppings like cheddar or cream cheese. 

We also experimented with Swiss, havarti, and feta, and there's really no wrong answer when it comes to what cheese you should pair these crispy crackers with. They also go great with olives, surprise, surprise—Trader Joe's Garlic & Jalapeño Stuffed Olives worked pretty well.

There's a pleasant crunchiness to these crackers. They might be slightly brittle, but I'd say they're neither too soft nor too hard. They don't shatter the way some other crackers do, and they're thinner than other comparable wheat flats.

$2.99 for 5 servings, which come in a resealable plastic box. Imported from Italy. We would buy Trader Joe's Green Olive Flats Italian Lingue Crackers again. Sonia gives them nine out of ten stars, stating "These are some of the best crackers TJ's has ever put out." I don't disagree. I'll go with eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tortilla Española

Over 20 years ago, I visited Spain briefly. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything quite like this during my few days there. I was able to sample some paella in Madrid, but I mentioned on this blog that I actually liked Trader Joe's Seafood Paella more than the dish I had in Spain.

Sonia didn't grow up with anything quite like this either. It's new to both of us, and it's nothing like a "tortilla" in the way we both think of the word. This item is more like a dense omelette made of potatoes, eggs, and onions, primarily. In fact, that's it. Except for a bit of salt and oil, those are the sole ingredients.

The product isn't too oily, even after adding a bit to the pan we cooked it in. It's a nice, clean, hearty breakfast food, filling and simple. It darkened a bit around the outside edges of the "tortilla" and got just a tad crispy by the end of the heating process. The rest of the dish was soft, warm, and moist, but not so damp as to feel wet or soupy at all. If anything, I would have wished for more of the onion flavor. It wasn't pungent enough if you ask me.

I ate mine without any toppings or condiments, though it had crossed my mind to dabble a bit of hot sauce here and there. Sonia added cheese, garlic, hot sauce, and black pepper to hers yet still insisted she enjoyed the plain product even before dressing it up.

$5.49 for the 6 serving omelet. Product of Spain. Would buy again. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Tortilla Española.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend

If it's not apparent by now, Sonia and I don't shop at Trader Joe's to "be healthy," generally. We shop there because we find unique and interesting stuff from around the world at reasonable prices. Every once in a while, however, we try something that is obviously optimized for healthiness rather than taste just out of curiosity, and carrot juice products generally fall in that category.

It's been a good long while, but we've tried the Omega Orange Carrot Juice, the Tropical Carrot Juice Blend, and Organic Purple Carrot Juice throughout the years. Personally, carrot juice is not something I drink for pleasure, but this one sounded fascinating with both black pepper and chili pepper in the ingredients. What's life without a little adventure and a little variety?

Sonia's take on the matter? "I used to love carrot juice. I would get a big serving from Jamba Juice almost every day back in my twenties," she reported. "But then my skin turned orange."

Hahaha. Okay, love.

The color of this beverage is striking. It's not unlike Trader Joe's Dynamo from many years ago. It's a deep, opaque shade of orange. The lemon and pepper flavors hit your palate just as hard if not harder than the carrot essence. Sonia insists it tastes like tomato juice. I think it's just the two types of pepper and turmeric balancing out the natural sweetness of the carrots. It's very similar to a Bloody Mary, but with carrot instead of tomato. No wonder traderjoes.com says it mixes well with vodka.

In the end, the beverage tasted a little better than I thought it would, while Sonia liked it a lot less than she thought she would. Neither of us would ever reach for this after doing yard work over a nice tall glass of lemonade, but we'll probably have a shot or two in the morning each day for the health benefits and the invigorating rush of the pepper.

$4.79 for 32 fluid ounces, found with the shelf-stable beverages. Probably wouldn't buy again. Health nuts, have at it. Six out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend. Seven out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spicy Peanutty Noodle Bowl with Chicken

It's only recently come to my attention that peanut butter is largely an American phenomenon. I've heard conflicting stories, but some claim that peanut-based sauces on foreign dishes—such as Pad Thai—is only a recent adaptation and that the authentic dishes in their respective countries of origin are rarely, if ever, made with peanut butter. The USA is routinely among the highest per capita consumers of peanut butter in the world, along with Canada—which just happens to be where this Trader Joe's item is produced.

What's working here: the taste. It's a nice sweet peanut vibe overall. The veggies provide some earthy greens and there's a modest amount of chicken flavor.

What's not working: the portion is too small. Sonia and I shared this for lunch knowing it was a single serving, but I don't think it would have filled me up even if I'd eaten the whole thing. Despite a significant amount of calories, carbs, and sugars in the mix, the dish wasn't very filling. It's not very spicy at all. We would have preferred a bit more heat.

There was nothing unpleasant about the texture, but I would have liked something more to chew on. The ground chicken is pulverized into oblivion and I wouldn't have minded actual peanuts or peanut halves in the mix. It's just a bit too mushy. That said, none of the veggies were stringy or offensive, as bok choy in particular can be sometimes. The noodles had a nice soft feel, too.

$3.49 for the bowl. Despite a few shortcomings, Sonia and I both liked the taste enough that we would buy it again. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Spicy Peanutty Noodle Bowl with Chicken. I'll throw out seven stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Shrimp Scampi

Confession time: despite my love of shrimp, I've only had scampi once or twice in my life prior to this Trader Joe's dish. The carbivore in me generally chooses breaded, fried shrimp over shrimp cocktail or garlic butter shrimp. Still, I've enjoyed shrimp scampi each time I've sampled it, and this instance was no different.

The frozen shrimp all come in a big plastic bag. I neglected to count them, but I'd say the total tally was somewhere in the ballpark of 20-22 shrimp. They're surprisingly large, and they're coated in what appears to be a batter of some sort. At first, I thought TJ's stuck the wrong bag inside my shrimp scampi box. Appearance-wise, they looked very similar to the frozen Shrimp Boom Bah we tried a couple months ago.

Alas, the "batter" was nothing but frozen garlic and lemon butter sauce, which melts off the shrimp and into the skillet as you heat them. These shrimp specimens are indeed unbattered, and the garlic butter and lemon essences give them all the flavor they need. We heated them on the stovetop for about ten minutes, all said and done.

They went great with the Barilla fettuccine we paired them with. I didn't even add any extra seasonings or toppings—not even salt and pepper. The shrimp were flavorful but not fishy—just garlicky and buttery, with a hint of citrus and Romano cheese.

Texture-wise, they were near perfect. Neither rubbery, chewy, or hard, these shrimp were prepared properly, and they had exactly the right mouthfeel. I'd say they were restaurant-quality in almost every way.

$8.99 for the three serving package found in the frozen aisle. Would buy again. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Nine out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Shrimp Scampi.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bacon & Eggs Sweet Gummy Candies

Today, we're looking at a traditional German treat: bacon and egg gummies, bursting with real pork fat and chicken egg flavor! Okay, I'm just kidding. They're fruit flavored. But they really are from Deutschland. Why we're importing gummy candy from Central Europe, I'm not quite sure, but traderjoes.com says the bacon pieces are cherry and the egg pieces are mango. That's just weird, but you know what? It works...kinda.

And not only is there no pork or eggs in the product, there's no gelatin either. We've seen dessert products from Trader Joe's in the past that proudly declared "pork gelatin" in the ingredients, which caused me a significant amount of distress. There's a bit of milk powder in them, so we can't call them vegan, but I'll take a touch of dairy over pig bones any day of the week.

There's a stretchy, squishy, almost sponginess to these gummy candies that makes them fun to chew. They're very smooth and slippery, and they taste unique. Both are bright, sweet-tart, almost citrusy flavors. There's a mild aftertaste, but it's not too overbearing.

I wish these were a single buck instead of two bucks, but somebody's gotta pay for all that marine diesel that ferried these puppies across the Atlantic. Would we buy Trader Joe's Bacon & Eggs Gummies again? I don't think either Sonia or I would really seek them out, but if we found ourselves in the checkout line at TJ's with a hankering for something sweet, I wouldn't completely dismiss the possibility. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia, who would really like to try a super sour version of these candies. Seven out of ten from Nathan, who says "Hey at least they're better than the Peas & Carrots Gummy Candy."

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes

Below, you'll find another video review featuring both the beautiful wifey and me.

I'm not sure if I put the nutrition info anywhere in the video, so I'll drop it right here.

$2.49 for 5 green onion pancakes actually imported from Taiwan. Vegan. We would definitely buy Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.