Trader Joe's Chocolate & Vanilla Bean Swirl Gelato

Three and a half stars from Sonia. Three from me for Trader Joe's Chocolate & Vanilla Bean Swirl Gelato.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Battered Plant-Based Fish Fillets

As a lover of real fish, I'm coming into this one shaking my head, bracing myself for disappointment. A glance at the ingredients reveals this product is jackfruit-based. How can one fruit mimic barbecue pulled pork and fish fillets? It just doesn't seem possible.

There's air fryer heating instructions on the box. We'll go with that one. The air fryer seems to make everything taste better. 10 minutes at 400°F and we're in business.

The smell? Surprisingly, my nose doesn't detect much of anything after heating, in stark contrast to real fish fillets from the air fryer. I guess there's a hint of something akin to hot cooking oil, but that's about it.

Despite my instincts to slather Trader Joe's Plant-Based Fish Fillets with tartar sauce and slap them in between slices of bread and cheese, I think I'll just try them plain first to play it safe. First impressions? Surprisingly edible.

Using a fork to cut the fillets apart, the texture is somewhere between a normal fish fillet and a fried banana. The crispy coating is really nice. It's not very thick, but it does the job. Sonia likes that part the best.

Flavor-wise, they're not fishy at all, and I mean that in a good way. But at the same time, if you had to guess what meat they were trying to imitate, you'd all understand they were going for fish. Sonia said they vaguely reminded her of chicken empanadas. I can see that, too. You can faintly taste the king oyster mushrooms mentioned in the ingredients, and there's a nice savory blend of subtle spices.

I was really worried we had another meatless ground type situation on our hands, but that's not the case here. Not saying there aren't some folks out there who might find this product a little off-putting, but Sonia and I will easily polish off this box.

If you're vegan, gluten-free, or just looking to try something new, these aren't a bad option. $4.99 for three fake fish fillets. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Four stars from me for Trader Joe's Gluten Free Battered Plant-Based Fish Fillets.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mini Cheeseburgers

Since it's almost 300 miles to the nearest White Castle, once in a blue moon, Sonia and I will pick up those frozen White Castle sliders that can be found in most grocery stores and dollar stores in our area. White Castle burgers aren't the best to begin with, but there's a novelty and uniqueness about them that's hard to replicate. And of course the frozen, non-restaurant sliders are just a little less delicious than the originals, but as far as cheap and easy comfort food goes, they aren't bad once in a great while.

I was wondering if Trader Joe's was going for a White Castle vibe with these Mini Cheeseburgers—if the popularity of White Castle's frozen offerings inspired TJ's to offer a similar product. After tasting these for the first time, I'd have to say "NO." Trader Joe's went top shelf in terms of quality meat, cheese, and bread. These burgers are larger than your typical frozen sliders and there's more meat, and everything is a notch higher in terms of quality.

The bread is actually sweet Hawaiian Aloha rolls. There's a small amount of ketchup and relish in a "sauce" mentioned in the ingredients. It's subtle. At first I couldn't even tell there was anything on the burger other than cheese, but the flavors all seemed balanced pretty well. I'm glad I didn't put on any extra condiments before trying the cheeseburger as is, because it honestly didn't need anything. Everything from the seasoning on the meat to the creaminess of the cheese was beyond my expectations.

$4.49 for three small burgers seemed kinda steep at first, but now that I see they're really not that tiny, I think it's a pretty decent value. I can't imagine even the biggest appetites not being satisfied by all three cheeseburgers. Would buy again.

Four stars from me. Four and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Mini Cheeseburgers.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Farm Raised Smoked Trout Fillets

Other than a few tiny sunnies, I think the only fish I ever caught was a trout. It was many years ago, so I don't remember with much accuracy, but I'm sure it was just barely over the minimum length requirement, whatever that was. I might have helped descale it, but I'm sure all the gutting and other preparations were done by someone older with a lot more fishing experience.

But I remember eating the trout I caught right there on the banks of the Juniata River, fresh off my cousin's grill. I was quite proud of myself, and I might have even received a few accolades from my dad and uncle for catching the fish, and that made the moment just a bit sweeter. But honestly, I don't remember the fish tasting very good at all.

Since then, I've had trout dishes from a few restaurants and can't say any of them have been memorable. So forgive me for being skeptical about Trader Joe's Smoked Trout Fillets. I mean, their tinned fish has been hit or miss in my book. Most recently, we looked at the Wild Caught Mackerel and were very pleasantly surprised, just as we received word that the product had already been discontinued as of the time we posted the review.

Fortunately, this product is still available and it, too, is shockingly good considering it's canned, shelf-stable for over three and a half years, and is trout, rather than something more expensive and exotic. It doesn't taste fishy in the least. The smoky flavor is perfect. It's not overbearing, nor does it taste fake like liquid smoke. It honestly tastes like this fish was cooked over a campfire.

$3.99 for a very reasonable amount of high-quality tinned fish. Packed in oil. No skin. No bones. Ready to eat right out of the container. We had it plain, on crackers, in a salad, and even mixed with cream cheese on a bagel in lieu of lox. I will absolutely purchase this product again. Perfect five stars from me for Trader Joe's Farm Raised Smoked Trout Fillets. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Sencha Tea

So I shall start off this post by mentioning that the mug featured in this review was once owned by English model Dolly Martin, wife of Dick Martin, of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In. No lie. My mother-in-law was a long time housekeeper for Dick and Dolly, and Sonia grew up spending many hours in their house. During a move, Dolly asked my MIL if she wanted some random coffee mugs, and among them was this "Be British" mug that Sonia eventually wound up with.

Fun fact: I once attended an Arcade Fire concert wearing a casual suit jacket previously owned by my father-in-law which was also previously owned by Dick Martin.

Also, I neglected to mention Sonia's thoughts on the sencha tea in the video companion to this written review, so I'll elaborate upon the beautiful wifey's sentiments here. She loves pretty much any green tea, and she likes this one because "it's very earthy but not bitter." She often drinks it plain with no sweeteners. Four stars from her.

I guess many versions of sencha are loose leaf and come in a large bag, but Trader Joe's Organic Sencha Tea comes in the form of individually-wrapped tea bags, as do most of Trader Joe's teas, which helps keep each serving fresh and moisture-free.

$2.99 for 20 tea bags. Organic. Kosher. I'm not sure if it's a product of Japan, but there's a picture of Japan on the back of the box. Three stars from me for Trader Joe's Organic Sencha Tea. Is this stuff still available? I couldn't tell you. Sonia hopes so.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Daelmans Caramel Stroopwafels Minis

 

Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce

Some of you might remember a Calabrian chili soup reviewed on this blog a couple years ago. Russ apparently liked it quite a bit, but Sonia and I were unable to procure a jar at the time. And it was just brought to my attention that Trader Joe's Bomba Sauce is made with Calabrian chilis too. We love that stuff and have it all the time, but I never realized I was eating Calabrian chilis until now! Guess I should read labels once in a while.

Anyway, we were able to snag this fancy pasta sauce on our last TJ's run so we can see what all the fuss is about. First impressions? Holy cow! How is this not MORE popular?

Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce flaunts a bright, tangy, smoky, sweet flavor profile with a moderate amount of zesty Calabrian chili heat. There's something fruity, almost citrusy to the taste. It's got some faint onion and garlic vibes and some typical Italian herbs like oregano and basil, but all in all, this is just head and shoulders above your average Italian pasta sauce.

I'd put the heat level somewhere around a 5 or 6, on a scale of 1 - 10. It's enough to clear your sinuses and warm your chest, but not enough to make you want to slow down shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

My only complaint is that I'd like a chunkier version. There are little slivers of onion throughout the sauce, but they're quite small and far and few between. I'm really tempted to throw a bunch of beans and veggies into the remainder of this sauce and make an actual vegetarian chili or even get some ground beef and turn it into chili con carne.

I'd try this on any kind of pasta, pizza, or as a glaze for red meat, poultry, you name it. I really like this sauce a lot and could see it becoming a mainstay in our house. I can't imagine me craving boring old Ragu or Prego over Calabrian chili sauce ever again.

$4.99 for the jar. Absolutely will buy again. I'm sure there are other brands and varieties of Calabrian chili pasta sauce out there, but please don't discontinue this one, Trader Joe. Or offer a chunky version before you do. Four and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce. Perfect five from me. 

Happy Fourth of July!

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers

Crackers are one of those foods that can feel so super fancy and upscale, or they can feel cheap, boring, and sad. Some of the most expensive, high-profile events I've ever been to have featured crackers with toppings as hors d'oeuvres. Likewise, some of the sorriest penny-pinching meals I've ever consumed were crackers topped with peanut butter and jelly, in lieu of real bread.

Granted, the latter event no doubt involved cheap store brand saltines and the former most likely featured something more akin to these multigrain whole wheat and flax seed-laden pita crackers. But my point stands that crackers are indeed ubiquitous and versatile, and in most cases, they largely depend upon some auxiliary flavors and textures to make them stand out as a memorable snack or appetizer.

On their own, Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers aren't bad at all. Texture-wise, they're crispy, crunchy, and rigid, but not too hard. The flavor is wheaty, for sure, but it's immediately apparent that there's much more complexity underneath the basic grainy taste. There are at least six grains present, flax and sunflower seeds, olive oil, molasses, and honey. While the sweeter elements don't really shine through in any meaningful way by themselves, they temper the earthier flavors and make for a highly noshable snack cracker, particularly when paired with a suitable array of toppings.

We tried ours with multiple types of cheese, hummus, bean salad, tuna salad, grape leaves and quinoa, and they worked beautifully in every case. They paired surprisingly well with cream cheese. I even tried adding some fruit spread to the cream cheese and made some surprisingly palatable dessert crackers with these. I just used the term "dessert crackers" twice in one week. I'm weird like that.

$2.99 for the 6 oz box. I'd buy again. The beautiful wifey likes them even more than I do. Three and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia on Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp

Did you know that shrimp is the fruit of the sea? There's shrimp kabobs, shrimp salad, shrimp gumbo, deep fried, pan fried, stir fried. There's shrimp scampi, pineapple shrimp, coconut shrimp, lemon pepper shrimp, and of course, Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp with Ginger Garlic Butter & Togarashi Style Seasoning.

How could Bubba have forgotten Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp with Garlic Butter & Togarashi Style Seasoning??

I suppose it's possible it didn't exist back then. We'll forgive you for this glaring omission from your famous list of shrimp dishes, Mr. Benjamin Buford Blue. But just this once...

Like Bubba, I consider myself a shrimp aficionado. I've been eating the stuff since I was a wee one. So my standards are pretty high and I'm a pretty tough grader as far as final scores are concerned.

My jam was always deep fried jumbo butterfly shrimp. I'd drown those things in cocktail sauce or some kind of remoulade and could smash dozens of them in one sitting. These puppies aren't fried or breaded, so how do they fare against such fierce competition?

Pretty good, honestly. I'm amazed I didn't mess them up when I cooked them, but they came out with a really nice texture, not too chewy or weird in any way. They tasted good, too, although Sonia and I just wish the spices were a little more potent. We definitely tasted ginger and garlic in that buttery sauce, but I think we were both hoping that the togarashi seasoning would bring a little bit more heat to the equation.

Still, for $7.99, this is pretty close to a gourmet quality seafood entree. I counted about 16 or 18 decent sized shrimp in the package. It's supposed to be a single serving, but if served with rice and some sides, this pouch can easily satisfy two people for dinner. Sonia and I give Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp with Ginger Garlic Butter & Togarashi Style Seasoning two thumbs up and four stars a piece. Would buy again.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.