Trader Joe's Cocoa Drizzled Kettle Corn

My beautiful, lovely wife Sandy, with whom I have just celebrated three years of married bliss, usually has a lot of really good ideas, but a somewhat enigmatic sense of timing with them. A recent, classic example of this is her recent push for us to join Weight Watchers. We're both packing a few extra pounds these days - she with the completely, 100% valid reason of shedding off a few more stubborn pounds after having our baby a few months back, and me with the not-as-completely, perhaps 50% valid reason of too many sympathy cheeseburgers along throughout the pregnancy. Now, I'm not opposed to joining Weight Watchers - I know it's done well for a lot of folks and hey, I could use the help - but really, talking about it the week leading up to Thanksgiving, with holiday parties and Christmas right around the corner? I mean, she knows what our moms are capable of around the holidays when the family's all together, and there's no way that's conducive to anything resembling a weight loss management plan. There's a reason why people wait until New Year's Day until to really start making a concerted effort about such things. Now, if she would have said, "Hey, let's start trying to watch what we eat, eat some stuff in moderation, mix in a salad every so often, blahblahblah" and then after Christmas drop in the bit about Weight Watchers, then there's a good chance I wouldn't consider the timing as odd.

Of course, perhaps it wouldn't strike me as odd at all if at the same time she wasn't downright adamant that we snag a bag of Trader Joe's Cocoa Drizzled Kettle Corn. Popcorn by itself is a perfectly healthy, tasty treat, and probably kettle corn isn't all that bad for you, either. And maybe even putting little chocolate stripies on kettle corn isn't the worst thing in the world, but it just seems a little, I don't know...the word "gratuitous" comes to mind. I don't think it's needed to have a little treat that's perfectly fine on it's own. At least, so I thought.

As it turns out...this is pretty darn tasty popcorn. Solely considering the "sans cocoa" portion of the kettle corn, it's pretty standard fare. It's got the right texture and the right crunch to it, with a little sweet and a little salt. There's not much to write home about it, though, which doesn't mean it's not good (because it certainly is), it just isn't amazing or even all that noteworthy. But drizzle on a little milk chocolate, and now we're talking. Unlike other salty choco-covered snackies at TJ's, there's not too much chocolate, so you can still taste the slightly salty sweetness of the popcorn while enjoying the Hershey-fied goodness. One thing about the chocolate, though, and this can be viewed as a plus or a minus: like a second degree burn or a broken-down Dalek, it's very sensitive to the touch. In just the few seconds to transfer each bit from bag to mouth via hand, the chocolate got melty enough to leave brown spotty residue all over our hands. The positive spin is, think of it as built-in portion control as grabbing it by the handful would create a mess. On the other hand, well, in the wrong hands there will be a mess to deal with. Judge as you will.

I forgot to ask Sandy how she would score this. If there's anything I've learned over the past fourish months, it's: Don't wake up the baby ever and don't wake up the mama until absolutely necessary. Asking her for her score doesn't make the cut, so I'll just have to guess it for her. Hmmm...well, despite our much-conversed about healthy eating aspirations, we both kinda housed the bag in two short sessions of watching Dr. Who (hence the Dalek reference) and I can tell we both enjoyed it roughly equally, except perhaps one of us more than the other, though I'm not sure which one of us that would be. Eh well. Split as you see fit.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cocoa Drizzled Kettle Corn: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Greek Yogurt

This pumpkin-tastic season isn't over yet. So when Sonia heard the buzz about a "delicious" new kind of yogurt at TJ's via Instagram, she rushed out to get some for a review. She heard rave review after rave review as people posted pics of the product repeatedly. Pumpkin yogurt sounded weird to me, but I'll try almost anything once.

Sonia's facial expressions are frequently enigmatic and very difficult to translate, even after 3 years of marriage. And her reaction to this stuff was no different. She blankly stared into space and smacked her lips. The blankness slowly became a grimace. I tasted it myself. It struck me that this pumpkin yogurt wasn't as thick as most Greek yogurts, which, I must admit, I don't really like. I thought this "Greek" yogurt had the consistency of a normal yogurt instead. Sonia agreed, and added that although most Greek yogurts are low-fat, the fact that this Greek yogurt was non-fat might have contributed to its thinner-than-expected consistency. 

I'm not sure what facial expressions I usually make when I try stuff, but I'm pretty sure I grimaced just like Sonia. To me, it tasted like aspartame. There's no aspartame on the ingredients list, to be sure, but I still swear it tasted like it. Sonia said it was too sour. We checked to make sure it hadn't gone bad. There was a month left until the expiration date. There was very little flavor. It tasted vaguely of sourness, nutmeg, and cloves, all in a small tub of plain yogurt. 

After all the expectation, all the hype, we felt pretty let-down. Especially Sonia. And again, maybe our taste buds are just numb to pumpkin after too many seasonal treats (most of which were way too sweet for our own good), but we weren't feelin' this Pumpkin Greek Yogurt at all. So once again, it was Pumpkin Butter to the rescue. The sweetness of the pumpkin butter made the yogurt much more palatable, and we were able to finish the little tub fairly quickly after that. But we're really reviewing these products for themselves, not for how well they mix with other Trader Joe's products. All in all, we felt this Greek yogurt was a big fail. But there are plenty of dissenting opinions out there. Let us know what you think of it in a comment below. Thanks! And happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Argh, I feel like a terrible person for putting up a negative review on Thanksgiving Day. Forgive me.

1.5 out of 5 stars from Sonia. 2.5 stars from me.

Bottom line: 4 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Turkey-Less Stuffed Roast with Gravy

I've eaten plenty of veggie burgers in my day. I've had delicious meatless chicken nuggets. And I love plenty of vegetarian dishes. But I've never had tofurkey, and I've certainly never had a vegetarian Thanksgiving before. So, like many of you, I was thoroughly skeptical about this Turkey-less Roast. Especially with a price tag of approximately $10 per package, it's a bit of an investment just to find out whether it's edible or not. That's why Sonia and I took the risk. So you don't have to. You may thank us in the comments below.

This past week, we had a bit of a pre-Thanksgiving, just the two of us. And we decided to take one for the team and feast on this forgery of a fowl from TJ's. We grazed on this goofy gobbler. We bit down on a bogus bird. We tasted a tricky turkey. But honestly, it wasn't bad at all. I think it's worth the cost. I think most vegetarians can go ahead and dive right in. My guess is that you'll love it. Does it taste exactly like turkey? No. So you red-blooded, meat-lovin' Archie Bunker types might want to have some dead bird on stand-by just in case. But really, overall, I'm diggin' it. The stuffing was great, the gravy was delicious. The soy-based fake turkey wasn't bad, but I'll be honest: the imitation beef and chicken dishes I've had would fool me way before this stuff would. It's hearty enough to fool your tummy into thinking that you've eaten something meatful, but not quite succulent enough to trick the taste buds. Texture-wise, it's a tad firmer than turkey meat, and there's a sort of crust that forms on the outside of the roast that fails to emulate real turkey. Taste-wise, it's a bit more beany. All in all, it's a decent approximation of traditional turkey, but it's not a dead ringer for the real thing.

Sonia pointed out that the product was a bit too rich with rosemary. The herb was over-represented in the roast for sure, but it didn't bother me quite as much as Sonia. However, she raved about the stuffing and gravy even more than I did, but agreed that the turkey-less turkey was the weakest element of the meal. She thought the texture was reminiscent of firmer-than-usual pâté, and added that when reheated, it got very dry on the sides.

Despite a few weaknesses, our final verdict is a thumbs-up. The price tag is hefty, but there're at least 4 good servings in there. (The label says 6, but you know how they exaggerate). It's not going to replace a real turkey at my family's Thanksgiving dinner this year, but I wouldn't be completely heartbroken if it did. 4 stars from Sonia. 3.5 from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Fresh Noodles and Gourmet Buffalo Chicken Meatballs

Ever make homemade spaghetti noodles? No, I'm not talking about using a Ronco presto-pesto auto-al dente pasta maker or even a Kitchen Aid mixer attachment (however in the h-e-double bendi-straw that would work) either. Sandy and I did once, using some old school handcranked pasta dough flattener/noodle cutter that should've been bolted to a work bench. That thing was a beast, and if we had any Italian grandmothers, I'm sure they would've been well pleased. But honestly, we weren't so enamored with the results. I mean, for all that work,I'd hope for something marginally better than the dried boxed variety, but alas, it was not to be.

So while homemade may always be the best, freshest option for just about anything, sometimes it's not a bad idea to leave it to the pros and try to settle for a second best option. Sandy and I bought Trader Joe's Fresh Noodles  with that at least partially in mind. I'm sure these have been around for a bit, but I've never spotted them until our last trip. TJ's apparently is making another experiment in noodle technology, this time to make a completely vegan noodle. Now, if they could make a organic, gluten-free vegan noodle...is that even possible, aside from subbing in some strips of tree bark? Anyways for these vegan delights, this naturally means no eggs, which is one the base ingredients for just about any type of dough. I guess that's why they tasted a little different. I don't mean different in a bad way, just....different. They're a little plainer tasting than even their usual semolina brethren, a little doughier, and while soggier isn't the right word, they seemed to somehow retain water a little differently, making them perhaps a little denser. I'm not sure that "al dente" is an option with these noodles, although even after our generously-sized dinners we have a full half of the package to experiment with. I'm not sure these will become a regular purchase of ours, but still, they're not a stray from the norm we regret. Maybe that Popeil fella's on to something after all.

Meanwhile, I'm almost positive that Trader Joe's Gourmet Spicy Buffalo Style with Blue Cheese Chicken Meatballs has to be a new product, because anything that has "Buffalo" and "Chicken" in its title increases its likelihood of purchase to nearly 100%. Seriously, if I saw Buffalo Chicken Owl Pellets for sale somewhere, I'd buy them and not think twice. Anyways, these meatballs, like most of TJ's spherical carne offerings, did not disappoint. They're fully cooked as is, and are in the fresh refrigerated section as opposed to the freezer aisles, and so all that's needed to get these ready for dinner is a few minutes in the oven. Although kinda dry and dusty-lookin' on the outside, inside the ground chicken remains just juicy enough, and also maintains a lot of freshness. Not only that, but they're fairly spicy as well. Granted, at the risk of alienation of some of the masses, they could be just a tad spicier, but that's not too much of a demerit in my mind. Too many times when there's bleu/blue cheese that gets tossed into the Buffalo chicken product at the factory level, the overwhelming flavor is the cheese. Not with these albóndigas de pollo picante. The blue cheese is more of a sidenote/accessory flavor while the spiciness takes center stage. That's the way it oughtta be. Count me as a fan.

I got in the habit during college of just splashing some Frank's Red Hot on a bowl of noodles and calling that and a beer "dinner." Somehow this has lasted all the way into my married life, with Sandy completely joining in, so our noodle 'n spicy chicken meatball dinner was something right up our respective alleys. To be fair, it could have used something, like a little mozzarella or some extra hot sauce, but we don't have much of a problem with the respective components as is. Sandy gives a "three...no, maybe three 'n a half" for the "not bad" eggless wonder noodles, while giving the Buf-fowl-o balls a four "because they could be a little spicier." I'll match her on the noodles and up by half a spoon for the meatballs.

Bottom lines:
Trader Joe's Fresh Noodles: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons
Trader Joe's Gourmet Spicy Buffalo Style with Blue Cheese Chicken Meatballs: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons
     

Trader Joe's Chunky Minestrone Soup

This soup's got big chunks of vegetables and spiral-type noodles. It's hearty. The tomato-based broth is delicious, but not as much as TJ's Tomato Bisque which, I'm told, has been discontinued. The minestrone broth has nearly as much flavor, but not half of the rich texture of the bisque. For those of you who've not tried Trader Joe's Tomato Bisque, and sadly may never do so, unless Trader Joe hears our cries of re-continuation, it was simply the best tomato-based broth I've ever had. By far. But this minestrone broth might take a distant second place, which, in the grand scheme of things, is still really darn good.

In addition to the silver-medal broth, there're thick pieces of swirly, carb-rich, rotini-esque pasta-things, carrots, green beans, peas, bits of cabbage, lima beans, celery, and potato, among other things, at least according to the packaging. My wife and I didn't notice some of the ingredients mentioned on the can, including bell peppers and leeks, but that doesn't mean they weren't there. We're occasionally not-so-observant, especially on a Sunday evening right before the beginning of a long workweek.

This soup is vegetarian. And, well, for vegetarians, that's of course good news. But for us omnivores, it's an area for potential improvement. A touch of beef could have made this side dish a bit more like a meal. I guess honest-to-goodness traditional minestrone doesn't necessarily have meat in it, but experimentation is a good thing sometimes. And, as TJ's has done in the past with other products, it couldn't hurt to offer both meatless and meatful options. 

Sonia would like to give this soup a 4, stating that "It's really hearty and tasty, especially for being vegetarian. It's better than Progresso and most brands." Like me, she does wish that it had a bit of meat, though. I'll give it 3.5 stars. It's on the chunkier, heartier side of meatlessness.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mesquite Smoked Seasoned Almonds

Sometimes I don't really know how to start a review. This is one of those times. I asked Sandy how I should as she sits beside me making a Pittsburgh Steelers-themed tutu for lil Baby M, and she said, "Awwwwww nuts." So, boom, there we go.

Anyways, Trader Joe's Mesquite Smoked Seasoned Almonds. The best way I can think of to describe these is, imagine Sam Elliot personally shaking out his mustache over each and every bag of roasted almonds, and that approximates how these taste. Minus the whiskers, of course. That'd be a pretty big Golden Spoon deduction. These are some pretty intense nuts as far as flavor goes. I'll be honest, I'm not able to identify all the different spices that each almond is liberally dusted with, because it's literally everywhere. You know that one Cheeto in the bottom of the bag that has all the extra Cheeto dust? Each and every nut is kinda like that - my tastebuds are literally overwhelmed by the bombardment of spices and flavors, but all of them definitely flow along the line of "mesquite" and "smoked". And salty. I mean, real salty. Seasoned salt has to be one of the big ingredients, and literally after a small handful or two, I find myself pretty darn thirsty, maybe for some more of that good sarsaparilla. Thanks, Sam Elliot.They're flavorful and dust-coated enough that I'd actually recommend sticking to eating them more or less by themselves - put them in some trail mix or Chex Mix or something, and they'd probably overpower everything else.

They're about 5 bucks for the pounder bag, which isn't bad for a bag of nuts these days. I probably ate about 90%  of the package, which is okay with Sandy as she kept herself busy with her sackful of pumpkin seeds. She liked them well enough, though. "They're very mesquite-y, and super crunchy," she said. "Like, you know how sometimes almonds aren't crunchy and they're kinda, like, soggy instead?" Soggy almonds? No dear, I don't know what you mean. Sometimes almonds are crunchier than other times, but I've never once had something that I'd describe as a "soggy" almond. Perhaps you have, though, and my wife wants to assure you that will not be the case here. She'll give them a three, saying the nuts can be a bit too much after just a small handful or two. I agree they could take a small step back and actually stand to gain from that. Other than that, I like the crunch and I like that just a handful or two will keep the stomach grumbles away for a good spell. Something around a four seems right.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mesquite Smoked Seasoned Almonds: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons    

Trader Joe's Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal

Let's face it: in our modern society, pumpkins and pumpkin-flavored stuff is available year round, or at least it could be. All of the pumpkinnery you see at this time of year is more due to the demand for it, rather than the seasonal availability of pumpkins.

But I'm not really complaining. There's something about pumpkin that's only really good between October and December. Pumpkin's not really a February/March kind of flavor. And it's definitely not a June/July kind of flavor. So every year, at the beginning of the season, I begin consuming massive quantities of pumpkin-flavored things that I wouldn't normally buy. That way, the novelty-factor of said pumpkin-items is very high through the middle of November or so, and yet, by the end of December, I'm so sick of pumpkin that I can go for another 9 months without missing it at all.

Now, we've been pretty heavy on the pumpkin this year so far, and we're almost reaching that midway point through the 3-month season of acceptable pumpkin-consumption. I'd like to tell you I'm not pumpkinned out at all yet, and that our scores are thoroughly fair, unbiased, and objective, but realistically, the Pumpkin Macarons might have had a bit of an advantage over this oatmeal. We're not taking back our perfect score on the macarons just yet, but I feel like maybe we might have given this oatmeal a slightly higher score had we tried it right at the beginning of October.

Our biggest complaint about this product is its lack of rich pumpkin flavor. We found that a spoonful of TJ's Pumpkin Butter added a nice little extra dose of pumpkinny goodness. Without it, there's a hint of pumpkin, but not much more. (It is possible that our tastebuds have achieved some sort of pumpkin-overload at this point and that we simply can't taste it as much as the average consumer anymore). However, the pecan flavor and a few actual pecans gave the oatmeal a really nice texture and taste—a little above and beyond what we expect from traditional oatmeal.

All in all, it's a decent buy if you think pecan oatmeal sounds good. If you're really craving pumpkin, however, don't expect too much. Sonia, a self-proclaimed oatmeal connoisseur, gives it 3.5 stars. I dabble in oatmeal from time to time, but I'm far from an expert. I'll give it a respectable 3 stars.

Bottom line 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's In Shell Pumpkin Seeds

Just over five years ago, Sandy and I had our first unofficial date, and me being the euphemistically labelled romantic guy, I still have us a little souvenir from the first magical night: a plastic baggie of pumpkin seeds. It was a few weeks before Halloween and I figured, why not carve pumpkins with this cute chick who I just somehow convinced to start talking with me? This, of course, was kinda neglecting the fact that when I get nervous, my hands get all sweaty, thereby making holding sharp objects not that best of ideas, but, well, you know, gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Anyways, yeah, I still have the seeds we roasted from that first pumpkin. What I thought I'd eventually eat as a nice little snack just may end up as a family heirloom. I'm sure my almost four-month old daughter can't wait for those! We've roasted pumpkin seeds plenty of times since then, only to eat them in quick succession. That's a lot of work though - cutting the hole, scooping out, pulling the orangey goo strands from the seeds, roasting them, etc - that between everything this past fall, we just haven't done so yet, much to our chagrin. Homemade are always the best.

Well, for a consolation prize we got Trader Joe's In Shell Pumpkin Seeds. They're pretty much what one should expect from a bag of pumpkin seeds. All they are is dry-roasted with a little salt, so nothing too utterly special. There's the usual good qualities of roasted seeds - a little nutty, a little earthy, even a little sweet like pumpkin seeds ought to be. There's a few of them still with a little pumpkin gut still attached and charred on, but much less than what you'd have in a typical homemade batch. The one thing I liked about them that I didn't expect is how fresh they taste. Seriously, I've bought some before which were so stale I could've confused with my daughter's inheritance. That's not the case here. They're highly munchable, and a snack equally as good for either pairing with a beer or having in the car for a driving snack....just don't do all three at a time. Drive safe, all.

There's been times I've witnessed Sandy glancing squinty-eyed all over the pumpkin patch while diabolically uttering the phrase "I want your seeds, man", so believe me when I say she likes pumpkin seeds. She's said most of what I said above, but noted that when they're homemade, she likes roasting them a scant more to ever-so-slightly burn them for slightly bigger crunch. She'll shell out a 4 for these while gently reminding me that hey, we gotta make our own soon. Yes, love. In the meantime, I'll munch on these fairly happily and give them a 3.5.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's In Shell Pumpkin Seeds: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Sliced Smoked Gouda and Artisan Reserve Vermont Cheddar

So there's this shirt that I wear pretty often on casual Fridays at work that's absolutely ridiculous and a constant conversation starter. It's black, with a big white printed logo on it that says "Wisconsin Cheese Cupid." "Cheese Cupid?," people ask all the time. "What the heck does that mean?" It's the name of some cheese pairing app that was giving away free shirts on Facebook yonder back that I just happened to stumble across and against better judgment click on only to completely forget about until the package arrived on my doorstep about three months later. The shirt's been a showstopper since. As for the app...well...it seems to indicate that every type of Wisconsin-originated cheese goes with just about everything, so, to me at least, it doesn't appear all that helpful.

In part because of this shirt, and in part because of my unabashed love of Trader Joe's (which does have a pretty great cheese selection), a lot of folks around me seem to think that I'm some sort of residential cheese expert. Far from it, I say. I know what I like and I know what I don't. I like the fresh mozzarella balls from places like PennMac right down the street from me in Pittsburgh's Strip District. I don't like Kraft singles and their various generic knockoffs. As far as TJ's stuff, though, to be honest, I haven't branched out much from the pretty typical sliced and shredded options. Admittedly, most of the few times I have, whether it's been this incredulous mad scientist concoction, or some waxy hole-y colby-esque grossness, I haven't been too impressed.

Until recently, at least. Let's start with the Trader Joe's Sliced Smoked Gouda. Oh man. This, friends, puts the good in gouda. Let me count the ways. Melted on top a freshly grilled burger? Yes. How about over a bowl of homemade potato soup? Absolutely. Straight as is? No doubt. But the very best way I found to enjoy this has to be as a grilled cheese sandwich with a little raspberry mango jam spread over top. Absolutely heavenly. I love the deep, smokey, rich flavor, I love the thick-cut slices, I love how the wax holds all the melty goodness in place so none goes to waste. Heck, I even love the price. $2.99 for a half pound? That's about the going rate for the cheapie yellow American at the local chain's deli counter, and this is much, much, much better. If you like gouda, this is a surefire winner. I don't really have the right vocab to really explain how good it is, or what exactly makes it so good, but I know good gouda when I taste it, and I'm tasting it with each bite of this.  There is not a single complaint that can be made here that I can think of. 

As for Trader Joe's Artisan Reserve Vermont Cheddar, I go a little back and forth. It's far from being bad cheese, no doubt, but as one of my coworkers stated today, "it sounds an awful lot of fancy marketing for just a hunk of cheese." I think she may be right. I've been to the Cabot factory and outlet stores in Vermont and eaten enough of their free samples to know what to expect from a chunk of Green Mountain state Cheddar, and this just isn't quite it. It's seems to me it should be a lot sharper for purportedly being aged for three years, and it also strikes me as being kinda creamy-tasting. Don't get me wrong, it's plenty sharp, but I've had a lot sharper in my day. I know there's a bazillion decent uses for a block of cheese like this, but so far Sandy and I have just sliced ourselves little bits to chomp them on down. If not for opting for the gouda in the aforementioned potato soup, some of this all shredded up would have been a fairly delectable option. It's the same price as the gouda, which makes it almost an equally good value in my book.    

Sandy's about an equal fan of both, giving them a three each. "I don't have a lot else I can compare them with, so I think they're both pretty good, I just don't know how good," she said. Fair enough, I suppose, although I occasionally hear her randomly utter about the gouda. Me? I gotta go with a full-handed five for the gouda, and I'll play nice and say a four for the cheddar.

Bottom lines:
Trader Joe's Sliced Smoked Gouda: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons
Trader Joe's Artisan Reserve Vermont Cheddar: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Roasted Coconut Chips

Since Hurricane Sandy paid us a visit this week, knocked over some trees in our neighborhood here in the Philly suburbs, and took away our power from Monday night into Tuesday morning, we've been thinking a lot about her Caribbean origins. Her Caribbean origins made us think about coconut. And our thoughts of coconut led to our purchase of a bag of Trader Joe's Roasted Coconut Chips.

It's mature coconuts soaked in young coconut juice. The best of both worlds. No need to choose experience over youth or vice versa. I'm pretty sure young coconuts are greenish and old coconuts are brownish, but other than that, I don't think I could tell you much about them. But I've always liked coconuts and coconut-flavored things, and this bag of snackaliciousness is no exception.

They're satisfyingly sweet, and they're big enough to treat them like bite-size snack chips, yet small enough to use them as toppings on cakes, ice cream, pudding, or what have you. At $1.99 for a bag, I'd say they were a pretty good value. If you're a fan of coconut, go ahead and shell out the 2 bones for something that I think could very well find itself appearing regularly on your TJ's shopping list.

They have a similar texture to that of the shredded coconut bits that we all know and love—the kind that are used as toppings on cakes and other desserts, but these "chips" have properties similar to other chips. They're flat and extremely crispy. They crunch when you eat them, and they have significantly more surface area than a bit of shredded coconut. 

Sonia gives them a score of 4 stars. She wishes the bag were larger, but other than that, she was quite pleased. I agree that in this case, more would have been better, but this relatively healthy snack was tasty enough to garner 4 and a half stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

The I Love Trader Joe's Vegetarian Cookbook

A while back, we took a look at The I Love Trader Joe's College Cookbook. And this year, we were able to take a look at another book in the same series from Ulysses Press, The I Love Trader Joes Vegetarian Cookbook By Holechek, Kris.

Although Sonia and I have often flirted with the idea of going vegetarian, we've never fully committed to the conversion. But we still do an occasional "Meatless Monday" and often enjoy vegetarian dishes, especially from Trader Joe's. As most of you know, TJ's has a pretty good selection of vegetarian items, some of which are very unique and difficult to find elsewhere.

This cookbook not only takes full advantage of the wide spectrum of vegetarian options from Trader Joe's and Ms. Peters' extensive knowledge of them, but it offers 150 ways of combining them that I wouldn't have thought of in a million years—and each recipe, if not already vegan, has a fully-vegan alternate version included.

This cookbook gets creative. One of the recipes takes Trader Joe's Potato Tots and turns them into Texas-style vegan nachos—er, excuse me, "Totchos." Even with limited time and money, there are plenty of simple recipes in here. The three bean salad, pictured right, is delicious! (Though, I must admit, we didn't pickle our onions). But had we chosen to pickle them, there's a recipe for that in the book, too!

Featuring casseroles, beverages, soups, desserts, and more, The I Love Trader Joe's Vegetarian Cookbook flaunts dishes for every occasion—dishes tasty enough not just for vegans and vegetarians, but for your average, everyday omnivores as well.

To learn about the author, to see more mouthwatering pics of her fantastic vegetarian fare, or for some sneak-peek recipes from the book, check out her blog, Nom! Nom! Nom! To order the book from amazon.com, just click here! It's the perfect gift for all of the vegetarians, vegans, and fans of Trader Joe's in your life.

Trader Joe's Firecracker Shrimp

In a recent post, I described the new morning routine that Sandy, Baby M and I are now have now that we're both back to work while M's off at baby school (fairly conveniently at Sandy's jarb). Those can be a little rough. Know what else is tough? Evenings. For those of you with kids, you probably know that already, and I don't want to sound whiny, but we're just trying to get settled into the "new normal." Finish up a long day of work, get home, feed the baby, take care of the dog, feed the baby again, be tired, be hungry, deal with a crying baby who apparently cannot stand the mere thought of both of us eating at the same time, do chores...the list doesn't end. Add in the occasional run to the chiropractic office not only for Sandy's back, but also for my elbows and arms to stop hurting after sneezing (true story), and it can only make things more hectic.

No wonder convenient meals-in-a-bag are so popular. There's barely time to do much else some nights, especially when your belly just needs some grub before moving on to the next thing. While we definitely got a preference for homemade dinners and have maintained a good habit of those whenever possible, there's some nights we just kinda cave in and grab something quick 'n easy.

Recently we nabbed ourselves the Trader Joe's Firecracker Shrimp. Most TJ shrimp products have done well for us - routinely, it's high-quality, fresh-tasting crustaceany critters that's not salty or gritty or mushy like too many other store brands I've had. Mostly our quibbles have only been with whatever gets slopped on them, or what they come packaged with. History holds true here. Excellent, excellent shrimp itself - fresh, roughly quarter-sized, firm, with a little light coating on them that crisped up in the oven well enough. Absolutely no complaints. It's just the sauce again. Exactly as you do with other products like the Mandarin Orange Chicken, after you bake the bites you swirl them in a bowl of the sauce. For something that's marketed under "Firecracker," I'd expect some heat, except TJ's repeats its classic error and confuses vinegar with spice, which is not that nice. Combine that with the lemon and sugar and whatnot tossed in, and the sauce tastes almost downright citrusy with nary a hint of the sriracha that it purportedly contains. I'm thinking the sauce would be greatly enhanced by adding some of my own chili powder or some crushed red pepper, but as it comes, it's lacking in our book.

That's not to write the dish off completely. But it's kinda disappointing, knowing just how much better it could actually be with a few small tweaks. Aside from the sauce, Sandy said the shrimp could do with either more breading, or none whatsoever. It probably didn't help that half the coating stuck on our foil-covered baking sheet. Also, say, if I were to buy this at a restaurant, I'd be happy with the quantity of shrimp for our $6.99, but for a make-at-home dinner, even a low effort one like this, either the price could stand to go down, or there could be an extra handful of shrimp included. No matter. It did well enough for a busy Monday night, and it reconfirmed that homemade dinners almost always win in our book. However you want to split our score, you're probably right.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Firecracker Shrimp: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons         

Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt Chunky Guacamole

If you're familiar with our blog, you might be familiar with some of my wife Sandy's "food rules". If not, check out this corny post for a quick primer, cuz I'm running thru all them again. Anyways, guacamole is just something that she has decided she doesn't like. I have no idea whether or not it's something she's ever actually tried, but that's her. I don't think I could pay her to ever try it - too mushy, too mashy, too chunky, too avocado-ey. It's too bad, because, man, I love me some guac, but it spoils too quickly for me to justify buying a purchase a container just for myself, and truth be told, I'm positive she'd be a fan if only she were to try a little sample.

Anyways, lest you think this will be a one-sided review (I've sworn those off), fear not! For only the second time in our history that I can recall, we have a celebrity guest reviewer today. Ladies and gents, let's please welcome Tanya Novotny to the floor! By day she is a pharmacist extraordinaire, but while she's not busy saving the world one prescription at a time, she is an official TJ's nut who's not only tipped us off to some incredible breakfast treats, but also gave towards my Bike MS fundraising event a few weeks back, winning our reader contest to nominate a TJ's product to be reviewed with her two cents tossed in. Thanks again, Tanya!

As far as Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt Chunky Guacamole goes, it's another winner. I respect what TJ's is trying to do here by taking a kinda-unhealthy dip and turning it into something that's at least somewhat better for you. Basically, think of blending an avocado with a bunch of Greek yogurt and add in some onion and pepper and spices and whatnot, and that's what we got here. Texturewise, it's almost exactly halfway between regular guacamole and Greek yogurt, perhaps erring on the side of creaminess, except for the occasional lil' chunky of avocado or onion, of course. As for taste, if eaten kinda piled on top of taco salad (as I recently ate it), the flavor kinda melds in with everything else, with only the Greek yogurt and lime finishing bite really sticking out. Stick a chip in and have some unencumbered by too many other flavors, and it tastes pretty close to how guacamole should, save for the Greek yogurty part. And that's not a complaint either. I've been on a Greek yogurt kick recently, and using it as a base for a tasty dip is a pretty ingenious idea.  I'd even say, if you partake of this particular guac, you can skimp on additional sour cream or yogurt altogether, which only adds to its healthiness quotient. A little less salt, though would be appreciated - I mean, with everything else, why add the sea salt? Eh well.

Tanya's a fan, as am I. "Almost as good as the real stuff," she said. She's had it a few more times than I have, and has noted she can taste a difference in the level of spiciness from batch to batch sometimes. If that's the case, Trader Joe's, make mine a little hotter next time, please! The ingredients say there's jalapenos in there, and I want to taste 'em a little. I'll add in her only negative statement here: "I know it’s “Chunky” but yesterday, I got a huge chunk of avocado and happily bit into it, only to find that it was an unripe chunk of avocado, and thus, was quite tough and bitter. YUK!" Ewww, glad I avoided that! Still, it's good enough for her to give it the equivalent of about a four. That, too, sounds just about right to me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt Chunky Guacamole: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Mexicaine Quiche

I'm not sure why TJ's decided to spell "Mexican" with a built-in homage to the cocaine cartels in Juarez. Neither Sonia (who is Mexican-American) nor I are familiar with this bizarre spelling. I guess it makes the product fancier. I'm also fond of mispronouncing "quiche" on purpose, like "kwitch-y." So, at our house, this product became "TJ's Mexi-Cocaine Kwitchy" because I'm weird like that. At any rate, we decided to sample this product and review it for you.

We followed the instructions for a conventional oven. Everything came out cooked to perfection except for the egginess in the middle. It was still too wet. The outer-crust was beginning to blacken and char, and yet the middle was a little too raw—but not to the point that we couldn't eat it.

The product has a fair amount of egg-omelette flavor and there's a hint of mild Mexican peppers. The crust was great. It reminded me of a homemade pie crust. But overall, this quiche is on the bland side. Have salt, pepper, and the hot sauce of your choice on stand-by when and if you decide to cook up this dish.

It's in the ballpark of $3. I don't remember the exact price, I can't find our receipt, and anyway, prices may vary from region to region. It strikes me as being pretty small for a $3 quiche. A grown man could easily eat the whole thing and still be a bit hungry...and holy crap! Just as I'm writing this I glanced at the nutrition information. I don't think a full day's worth of saturated fat is something that most of us are looking for in a small treat from Trader Joe's.

Originally, as I ate it, it was just yummy enough to garner 3.5 stars from me. After thinking about its economic value and its fat content, I think I'll downgrade that to an even 3 stars. Sonia gives it 3 as well, adding "That is a little bland for a Mexican dish. It should have more pepper flavor and more kick."

But don't get me wrong, if you're looking for a breakfasty comfort food omelette-thing, I'd still say it's better than most greasy-spoon diner egg-based dishes. This one's definitely not a must-buy...more like a "might-try."

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Contemplates...Inner Peas

I'll admit it, I wasn't eager to try out Trader Joe's Contemplates...Inner Peas. It has nothing to do with the terrible reach for a pun for the name, either. It's just that, normally speaking, if I were to be in the mood for something crispy and vegetably-inspired, why not eat, I don't know, any actual vegetable?  I mean, that's an ideal to strive for, to hunger for fresh produce instead of some pseudo-wanna be-potato chip-type thing, and one I'll freely admit to falling short of quite often. That doesn't change my position, though. Not only that, but with just an exception or two, I have not been a fan of most of TJ's crunchy vegetable snackies - I mean, one of them tastes like a stale McDonald's fry, for goodness' sake. Semirelatedly, I flat out refuse to try their seaweed snacks (wasabified or not) because just the name brings back some bad memories of Japanese rice cracker/seaweed snack my dad liked when I was growing up. Nearly made me upchuck every time.

Sandy, though? I'm not sure how artfully my photo hides the large gaping gash at the top of the package where she eagerly and ravenously ripped it open in anticipation of all the little munchy green pea sticks inside. I mean, girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, I guess, but let me take a proper picture first. I guess by that, she's just demonstrating how far up her alley a snack like this is. Maybe she just couldn't have her inner peace until she had her Inner Peas. Great, now I'm making bad puns, too.

As far as the snackety snack goes, I am neither appalled by them, nor am I overly enamored, either. To me, an Inner Pea just tastes like a crunchy, semi-Styrofoamy stick that tastes a little salty, slightly oily, and however slightly reminiscent of a pea. And believe me, I can definitely tell when something's made from rice flour, as it usually tastes a little off to me. There's no mistake here - they're ricey, and for all that, gluten still sneaks in somewhere. Aside from that, if you told me these were mummified green beans, I'd probably believe it. Maybe that's your kinda thing. Maybe you use them as a dipstick for some good hummus, and that's probably a half-decent idea I wish I would have considered before these al disappeared. By themselves, though, they're kinda nondescript and while "bland" is not the right word, "flavorful" certainly isn't, either. They're just kinda...there. Maybe, for my palate they're just too contemplative and peasfull...dang, another one...sorry!

Sandy might like them a little more, but she's not exactly bowled over, either. "They're not great, but they're not bad either," she said. Based on her aforementioned eagerness, that almost sounded like a slight indictment to me, so I was a little surprised when she gave them a 3.5 rating. Sandy did, however, add that she'd probably like them more if they were in a salad or something of the sort. Me? I'm willing to allow for the fact that the pea sticks just aren't my kinda thing, so I'd be willing to be slightly more generous if not for my wife's rather muted reaction. I don't know, I'll say a 2.5 from me. I'm at peas with that.

Okay, I'm just gonna leave now.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Contemplates...Inner Peas: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Filled with Speculoos Cookie Spread

In a recent post, I mentioned that Sonia and I aren't in the habit of purchasing random chocolate bars from the checkout at TJ's. That was a big lie. On our last Trader Joe's run, we did just that. After the success of such items as the Speculoos Cookie Butter and other dark chocolate candy bars like this one, we decided this little snack might be worth a purchase.

This chocolate bar was tasty. But the two main ingredients didn't blend together quite like I had hoped they would. For those of you who've tried the Cookie Butter, you know that it's pretty sweet and has a good bit of taste, but the rich, bitter tang of the dark chocolate was enough to virtually drown out the speculoos' flavor. It's not that they skimped on the Cookie Butter here. Just looking at each chocolate square, you'd think the gingerbread sweetness of the speculoos would be the dominant flavor...but sadly, it isn't. There was a hint of creaminess in each little chocolate square, but it still felt and tasted basically like a regular dark chocolate bar—not unlike this one. 

So really, it's a pretty safe purchase as long as you're a fan of dark chocolate. Even if you don't like gingersnap type flavors, I don't think there's enough in there to ruin the chocolatiness. But if you're hoping for big bursts of that TJ's Speculoos Cookie Butter that you've come to know and love, you might find this chocolate bar falls short of its potential. I'd really like to try the same thing with white chocolate or milk chocolate instead of dark. I think the flavors might blend a little better. And a bit more cookie butter couldn't hurt, either.

Sonia gives this little treat a 3.5. Me too.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10 stars.

Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries

Mornings sure have been a lot different over the past week or so here at the Pittsburgh WGaTJ homestead. Sandy's back to work with Baby M tagging along, which is a nice perk of working at a daycare, ahem, early childhood education center.* Since we try to carpool as much as possible, that makes for one busy busy morning of waking up, getting myself ready, getting a baby who doesn't want to be awake yet ready, while gently nagging/slightly hollering at the wife who REALLY doesn't want to be awake yet to get moving as well. We're both far from morning people, so add in the extra tiredness of waking up at 4 a.m. to change the diaper (my job) and feed the baby (Sandy's) and falling asleep for whatever winks we can get after that to get up and running, well, it barely leaves time to do much else besides the bare minimum. Not that I'm complaining. Wouldn't change daddyhood for the world, and I certainly wouldn't change diapers for anyone else, either.

Naturally, a good, quick munchie on the go is in order to help get the engines fired. While I can wait for my French press at work for coffee (why did you discontinue my favorite, TJ's?), I need something to head off the rumbly in my tumbly right away. For a long while, my fuel of choice has been a quick pb sandwich but my favorite one is recalled right now, leaving me in search of other options. I guess being my favorite comes with a heavy, heavy price.

Well, nothing bad ought to ever, ever happen to Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries. At least,  sure as all heck hope not. The obvious comparison is, well, pretty obvious. Listen, this ain't no Pop Tart. TJ's got themselves a product markedly better. Let me count the ways. First, the pastry shell is made with whole wheat. Sorry for the gluten-free crowd, but that's a win over whatever overly refined stuff the competition uses. It tastes wheatier and better and healthier, plus I think that's why these seem a little more filling/satisfying than the regular fare. Of course, I have no idea if they're actually really any healthier, but I'm just assuming so, because that's what the word "organic" means to me. Second, the filling itself - we've tried just the cherry pomegranate variety, and the filling tastes like real, actual fruit instead of glucosey/corn syrupy colored sugary gunk. Okay, hmm, on that point, they probably are healthier. Works for me. Add on enough purplish frosting and sparkly sugar on top that it'd make Prince blush for a little added taste, and these will more than hold me over for the 10 a.m test.

 We both like them quite a bit and I know we'll be buying them again our next go-around. I had to talk Sandy out of eating a pack on a Sunday morning when we had a lot more time AND leftover carrot cake for a sweet breakfast treat. She said something silly about really really really really liking them, but I fail to remember what that was. We also failed to try them out after toasting them, because, well, who has time for that when there's a screaming hungry baby to drive across town during rush hour before feeding her? Not us. No matter. Sandy gives them a solid four, while I'll up that a notch. They're not our favorite breakfast pastry from TJ's, but on a busy morning, they'll more than suffice.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons
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*That's not to disparage my wife's workplace one bit. In all honesty, it's a pretty topnotch place, and even that's a bit of an understatement. I just like to see her reaction when I slip up and call it daycare. 

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Apple Snack Sticks

From what I can gather, unlike most of you, I don't get all that much into the pumpkin-everything craze every fall. Sure, I'll enjoy a slice of pumpkin pie or the occasional pumpkin beer, but yeah, pumpkin this, pumpkin that, pumpkin this-other-thing and pumpkin-that-other thing? Meh. I guess I'm the anti-Linus, not in search of the Great Pumpkin. In the autumn I get much more excited about crockpot goodies like potato soup and chili and pretty much anything on my second favorite blog ever.

For the fall time, if I had to say I'm excited about any seasonal fruit or vegetable, I'd choose apples. Yeah, I know, they're not "seasonal" in the traditional sense like pumpkins, but you know what I mean. Going apple picking. Apple sauce. Apple cider (or as my four year old nephew calls it, "apple-spider juice"). Apple crisp. Apple pie. Now, that I can get behind.

As for Trader Joe's Cinnamon Apple Snack Sticks, I can get behind them too. Don't get me wrong - they're not nearly as good as any of those aforementioned tasty treats. But, like anything else, they have a time and a place. And get this: they're made from real apples, too. Sure, they're all pureed up and tossed into a multigrain mix, but they're in there, with the sweet, slightly tart taste poking through here and there. Tastewise, using Apple Jacks as a base comparison, these snack sticks are probably at least ten times more actually apple-y. Add in the cinnamon that's liberally blasted on each stick, and the end result is a pretty munchable treat that's a much welcome break from the norm.

Count me as a fan. These will be making my list as a repeat buy, even if Sandy's not as big a fan as I am. "They could be a lot more apple-y," she says. I'm not sure if that's completely accurate for a snack food that's in a similar vein as Funyuns, except, well, better. She does note they'd go well with a bowl of vanilla ice cream or a mug of hot cider. Now you're talking, sweetie. Her score's a measly 2.5. For me, I like the well-balanced taste between the apples and the grains and the cinnamon, yet they're not addictive enough I feel like I have to eat them handful after handful. They're not a bad treat at all.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cinnamon Apple Snack Sticks: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons        

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Butter

We both eyed the pumpkin butter from the middle of the aisle, peering over a number of other TJ's shoppers scurrying by. One other woman did a double take as she perused the jellies and syrups. It seemed the pumpkin butter aroused curiosity more than anything else. As Sonia and I debated whether to buy and review the item, one question rose up in our minds, "What would go well with pumpkin butter?"

For that reason, the jar has no fewer than 6 different suggestions for how to serve the product within. They recommend using it in soup, on ice cream, or as a poultry glaze, among others. Its uniqueness is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, TJ's Pumpkin Butter is versatile enough that you can use it to make almost anything taste like pumpkin. On the other hand, even if you find a bunch of different foods that you want to make taste like pumpkin, you find yourself doing little more than experimenting with a culinary tool that you're barely familiar with and don't fully understand. It's kind of like the Twitter of the kitchen-world: obviously there's a lot of potential there...but ultimately, what's the point?

Furthermore, if you wanted something like pumpkin ice cream, for example, it would probably be best to just buy Pilgrim Joe's Pumpkin Ice Cream—a product whose pumpkin-properties have been balanced and blended by professional ice cream folks, rather than creating your own haphazard version using Pumpkin Butter and whatever you've got kicking around in your freezer. Although some people might prefer creating their own ice cream so they can tailor the mixture to suit their own tastes...

Texture-wise, the product is not unlike apple butter. There's pureed pumpkin, sugar, and honey. It's very sweet, but traditional pumpkin spices are definitely there. We tried it on toast. It's okay by itself, but we found that the most palatable way to eat it was with some cream cheese. Not wanting to waste time, energy...and potentially food, we steered clear of creating things like Pumpkin Butter and sour cream soup. And I'm pretty sure our Thanksgiving turkey this year will not be basted in this stuff.

I can't deny that there's something fascinating about it. It's good to try something new once in a while. But I just can't figure out what niche this product should fill in my diet. It's certainly no replacement for apple butter, jams, or jellies. It's just a bit of novelty. Three stars.

Sonia feels the same way, but because all things pumpkin remind her of autumn, her favorite season, she couldn't help but enjoy it. She almost gave it four stars, but decided on three and a half.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10 stars.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Rice Pasta & Cheddar

I've gone on a whole diatribe about macaroni and cheese before, so I'm not going waste yours and my time rehashing it all. Let's just get down to business here.

Truth be told, Trader Joe's Gluten Free Rice Pasta & Cheddar was not a product I was particularly eager to buy, much less consume. I think it's the "rice" part. Now, I have nothing against rice, per se, as Sandy and I keep a sealed bucket in the kitchen full of it, and we eat rice probably at least twice a week. It's just that I've had rice step outside the realm from which it belongs and total ruin something. A prime example is some TJ's rice flour tortillas which really ought to be discontinued - I bought them once, nearly retched upon first bite, threw them out (this was before I knew about their awesome return policy), and have refused to buy since. Just keep away from them. Far, far away. So there's that, and there's the fact that TJ's has already made a perfectly good corn pasta for the gluten-free crowd. If I were in charge of the whole shebang, that would be the route we'd take here.

But I'm not in charge (not yet, at least), so here we are with ricey mac 'n cheese. Eh. I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan. There's just something that tastes a little off. Maybe it's all the gluten that's not in it. Sandy made up the pot, and while admittedly she may have undercooked it by the tiniest bit, the noodles were a little too dense and chewy. For whatever reason, the thought that came to mind for me was thick newspaper. That's kinda also how the noodles seemed to taste. Also, in my experience, I've always mixed the powdered cheese, milk and butter right on top of the noodles in the pot. Not this box. It actually instructs you to mix all that together separately, then pour over. Sandy, as always being the directionally obedient chef, obliged without too much questioning. I could be completely making this up, but as a result I don't think the sauce clung to the noodles nearly as well, and yeah, seemed to taste a little off. Is there gluten in regular mac 'n cheese cheese sauce? Don't know. But that could be it. Fortunately, it was all something that a little hot sauce could fix.

For the record, Sandy thinks I'm full of it. "You made up your mind before even trying it that you weren't going to like it and now you're going to write a review nitpicking it left and right just because it's different," she said. Talk about being put in your place. She's probably at least partially right. Sandy deemed it worthy of a four, and has reiterated several times how much she likes it, as if the brand needed her personal, continual affirmation to make it thru each day. Me? I'm trying to be fair but it's just not that great. For the gluten-free folks, this simply isn't how boxed mac 'n cheese tastes. You don't deserve another not-so-great imitation of an American classic, especially when better glutenless noodle technology not only exists but lurks only a mere shelf or two over. I'll play nice with a 2.5.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Gluten Free Rice Pasta & Cheddar: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons