Trader Joe's Maple Ginger Cookie Swirl Ice Cream

If you're ever in the area of Waterbury, VT, you'll likely stop by the Ben & Jerry's Factory for at least a scoop of ice cream. Or...you can be like my family and attack a Vermonster as a gang tackle. But regardless, you're likely gonna stop, simply because it's Ben & Jerry's. It's ice cream. It's iconic. It's kinda just what you do without asking.

This doesn't mean that Ben & Jerry's is the best ice cream in Vermont.

Sure, it's the most famous....but you can also buy it anywhere. For an even better ice cream experience, and to miss the occasional hour long wait for a scoop, drive just a little further down Route 100 towards Stowe to Cold Hollow Cider Mill. Or make a quick jaunt to Morse Sugar House right outside Montpelier. Or stop at any other maple shack or cider mill or any cute little country store where you see the magic words "maple cremee," and extra bonus points if you get maple sugar sprinkled atop. Even my kids liked them more than Ben & Jerry's. Take that, Unilever.

It's not quite the same, but man, Trader Joe's Maple Ginger Cookie Swirl Ice Cream is pretty dang good in its own right.

How to begin? Oh man. Just rip off the lid and take a long, deep whiff. Mmmmm. Maple. *drool*. There's no mistaking the scent. It's like a Yankee Candle, but even better, it's okay to eat it!

And eat it you will. Don't even need a scoop and bowl. Just let your spoon slide into the soft ice cream base and navigate around the small ginger cookie dough nibbles interspersed here and there. Let it glide into your mouth and slowly melt over your tongue and let the maple flavor seep in. It's rich and creamy and unbelievably sweet but in an authentic manner. It's real maple syrup used here, probably Grade B as there's unmistakable deep maple taste and plenty enough sugar from the ice cream base to sweeten the whole deal. Ooooooooo.

My only really small nitpicky oh-goodness-why-am-I-even-mentioning-this comment is the ginger cookie swirl. There's plenty enough of it, don't get me wrong. But...it's not gingery enough. I really wanted a ginger bite to play off the maple sweetness and maybe just remind me a little of my favorite TJ's ice cream that has shuffled off this mortal coil. Surprisingly, it's triple ginger snap cookie dough listed on the ingredients...I see that but I don't taste it. There's still some of the pint to go, so maybe I just haven't mined the proper ginger ore quite yet.

The pint cost $3.99 which is about the going rate for a ice cream of this quality. Good thing they printed the nutritional facts for the whole shebang, otherwise I'd be tempted to just plow my way through. Absolutely delicious. No complaints at all from the Mrs, it's plenty enough maple even for her which says a lot. I'll stand by my ginger comment for now, but believe me, we'll be buying this as long as TJ's lets us.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Maple Ginger Cookie Swirl Ice Cream: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Spicy Shrimp Appetizer Duo

Ah, nothing says "fall" like spicy shrimp appetizers. In fact, I think we might have a Chinese New Year theme going on here. That was only back in February, over seven months ago...but it feels like yesterday, doesn't it? Anyway, I found these in the back of our tiny freezer, covered in frost, which probably served as camouflage for those many months, which might help explain why they weren't reviewed long ago.

I cleared the frost off of the packaging and thought, what the heck? I remembered we had some frozen appetizers hidden away, but for some strange reason, I was thinking they were chicken. Spicy Chicken Appetizer Duo. Weird, huh? Maybe Trader Joe's should offer a box of those, too.

Shrimp appetizer duo it is. So we tried them. And they're definitely worthy of review. I shrimply couldn't resist. I promise it has nothing to do with the fact that we are in desperate need of a TJ's run and haven't purchased any of the new fall items yet. <readers can't see that my fingers are crossed.> Apologies if this item is discontinued or out of stock. Hopefully they'll have them back for the next Chinese New Year season, a mere four months away.

Both items in the duo are quite tasty and high-quality. Let's start with the kung pao shrimp spring rolls. There's a decent bit of shrimp in them—more than I was expecting. There are also veggies, a light, crispy wrapper, and some spicy kung pao flavors. I wouldn't call either of these overly spicy. I wouldn't have minded a great deal more heat, but the overall effect is pleasantly garlicky, salty, and savory, with just a hint of an Asian spice kick.  

You can actually taste the lemongrass in the wontons. It's not over-the-top, though. The wonton bread is nice and thick, yet it's supple and flaky. The meaty insides of the wontons are soft, and they flaunt a fair amount of real shrimp, like their spring roll counterparts.

Other than the lack of heat, our biggest complaint is the lack of dipping sauce. There's a pic of sweet Thai chili or something on the cover art, and as is typical, the words "serving suggestion" are printed in a tiny font right next to it. We didn't have any sauces on hand, but we enjoyed them enough plain that they'll still get thumbs up from both Sonia and I. Fifteen minutes at 450 degrees. $4.99 for package of 12 appetizers. We're looking at four stars from Sonia and three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Pita Chips with Sea Salt

There are instances in life when classic potato chips just won't cut it. Likewise, there's a time and place for tortilla chips...and a time and place to refrain from the consumption of tortilla chips. To everything, turn, turn.

Enter: the pita chip. Thicker, denser, more rigid than its commonplace counterparts, the pita chip has long been a friend of middle eastern condiments like hummus, tzatziki, and zhoug, as the back of this packaging suggests. 

But if there was ever an All-American pita chip, this is it. Made with wheat flour, these pita chips are thick, strong, and crunchy. They'd go great with dense cheddar cheese dips, onion dips, or, as Sonia and I can personally attest, spinach dips.

And yes, in case you were wondering, the product picture in the middle of this review is actually the exact same picture we used for the spinach dip review, although each is cropped differently, as you might have noticed.

We did also try these chips with some non-Trader Joe's hummus. Sonia has been purchasing little single serving packages of Sabra hummus as of late, and they go great with that stuff, too. I just feel like they were born to be paired with that spinach dip for some reason.

There's a fair amount of sodium in these bad boys. But hey, it's sea salt, right? Sea salt doesn't raise your blood pressure, does it? Actually it does. 

And that might be my biggest complaint about these chips. There's too much salt, and I'm not sure it helps the taste all that much. That rich bready flavor and big dramatic crunch are the reasons we'd possibly purchase this offering again. There's not many ingredients, and a thick and rigid texture. 

$2.29 for six ounces of snacky satisfaction. Not a bad value, either. Double fours here.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sour Cream Spinach Dip

Even if the weather hasn't changed much, Labor Day has come and gone, and football season is underway here in America. The Skins already have a loss under their belt and my fantasy team is in last place. Oh well. Even if the games are driving me crazy, at least I can enjoy fall beers, chips, and dip on game day.

And this is a decent game day dip. It's super thick and creamy, full of spinach, and isn't half bad tasting. At 80 calories per serving, it's pretty normal as far as spinach dips go in the nutrition info department.

It pairs perfectly with pita chips. The thickness and rigidity of a pita chip helps the dipping situation here. We had the dip with tortilla chips, too, but they tended to break apart as you'd pull them out of the tub. This stuff is simply too thick for traditional chips. I mean, with some care, it can be done, but it's much easier with something a little more on the hefty side. Also, the breadiness of the pita chips complements the sour cream flavor a little better than tortilla chips, in our opinions.

The spinach is plentiful throughout. It's not intrusive, texture-wise. You can taste it to some degree, but it, of course, plays second fiddle to the tangy sour cream flavor. I wouldn't have minded a bit more in the spice department. To be honest, I don't even know what spices go in a good spinach dip. Some more garlic and/or pepper flavor here couldn't have hurt. Sonia thinks the mix is nearly perfect the way it is.

Upon ruminating about this particular condiment, another classic Trader Joe's spinach dip comes to mind: Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip. It's been a hot minute since we've had that one, but I do remember it being surprisingly good for only 30 calories per serving. The Greek yogurt provided nearly the same amount of tanginess, and the kale...well, the kale at least makes it sound like it's really good for you.

This one isn't quite as fancy or "Trader Joe-ish," but it was a big hit with Sonia. I'll give it a thumbs up as well, but I'm not sure it really stands out that much compared to other spinach dips. $3.49 for ten servings. I'm sure it could be used in recipes for cooking and whatnot. 

Four and a half stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken Chilaquiles Rojo

There's some dispute apparently about the origin of the phrase "winner winner chicken dinner." One of the more common theories is that a chicken dinner in Las Vegas used to cost about $2, the same amount as a typical bet. So you win a bet, you won enough for dinner. Or somebody would bet all they had in hopes to win enough for some food. That sounds kinda like a cross between desperate and degenerate, but there we are.

Let there be no dispute here, though. The new Trader Joe's Chicken Chilaquiles Rojo are an absolute winner.

Proof enough: we had them dinner twice this past week. That's rare for us, especially for a prepackaged item we'd have to buy twice. But Sandy and I enjoyed them so much the first time around, but I was convinced I could make them even better and had to try before writing this review. Not that either of us minded.

The secret for good prep is to actually ignore the directions a little bit and add no extra water. The chilaquiles are a frozen item after all; the ingredients will release enough water on their own while cooking. No need to add extra unless you like yours on the soupy side.

Regardless, these taste friggerin' delicious. There's loads of beans, onions and peppers with an almost adequate-enough amount of chicken simmering in a not-all-that spicy tomato based sauce. Seriously, don't assume they're too spicy for you - our four year old who's a spice wimp had no issue. Still, there's plenty of taste - a little savory, a little smoky, the teeniest amount of heat. There's just some depth here.

Add in the included tortilla chips to soak up some of the liquid, and sprinkle a little cotija cheese atop. The chips definitely help fill out the meal, and the cotija adds a little sourish pungent touch that works well with the overall vibe of the dish. Think of it like a bowl of nachos with chili or super thick chunky salsa, and add some guac or some sour cream. We also put a hard fried egg atop ours per the serving suggestions - delicious.

The chilaquiles rojo aren't perfect though. Primarily, it's the serving sizes. Sandy is superstrict about serving sizes. We didn't measure, but there's no way each bag has 2.5 servings. Unless we're absolute hogs, because both times we made them we made two bags and had no problems or remorse about eating the entire supposed five servings between us. Also, as slightly hinted at, there could be a few more bites chicken included.

Other than that, we're talking near perfection here. For about $3 or $4 a bag, the chilaquiles are repeat buy worthy again and again. You can bet on it.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Chicken Chilaquiles Rojo: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Almond Meal Muffins

Tried as I have, I'm still not a morning person. Never have been, might never be.

It doesn't matter that for over a year now I've worked an odd schedule at the day jorb that involves me waking up well before the rest of the world. I've somehow never been late for it, and usually show up even earlier. Just because I can do it doesn't mean I like it. And the days I'm off...well, I know this isn't the most conducive to a healthy sleep schedule, what with supposed to be waking up at the same time every day and all, but my body seemingly can't help but feel it needs to catch up so it can "sleep in" til I need to get on the move with the rest of the family.

So pretty much, every morning I'm pretty busy and on-the-go, whether it's rolling towards work half-sleepily or shuffling off wife and kids to whatever the day holds in store, just a little less sleepily.

So pretty much, any morning is a good morning for a Trader Joe's Almond Meal Muffin.

Quick to grab, quick to eat. So very portable. I mean, duh, it's a muffin. They're popular for this very reason. You don't need me to tell you that.

What set's the TJ's almond muffins apart though is their quality. Ever eat a muffin and still feel kinda hungry after? You won't with one of these guys. "Hearty" is an understatement. So much in here - almond meal, walnuts, eggs, carrots, zucchini, berries, oats. So many calories and so much fiber and protein. Yeah, it'll keep you going for a morning.

And thankfully, all together the muffins taste pretty great! As one would imagine, they're earthy, nutty, a little moist and dense with a little bite variant from the aforementioned fruits, nuts, and veggies. All the flavors blend well with one another, with some maple and agave helping to sweeten the whole deal. I don't think there's an ingredient I would add or subtract from this whole mix, except maybe a touch more cinnamon.

One point of contention, and I hope one of you can help clear this up since I've discarded the package without doublechecking - are these gluten free? There's no ingredients on the label that proclaim gluten to me, but I don't recall them being labelled as such. Help?

At about four bucks for the package, these muffins are an absolute steal. One of these with a coffee and an apple can be a breakfast mainstay for me for sure, no matter what kinda morning it is. Double fours from the Mrs and me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Almond Meal Muffins: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Fiery Chicken Curry

Despite all proceeding evidence to the contrary, I really thought this was shrimp.

Maybe it was just a weird random parallel pescaterian universe portal that let me see this, but I really thought I read this as "Trader Joe's Fiery Shrimp Curry," not "Trader Joe's Fiery Chicken Curry." I was on a solo parenting trip, so no witnessses. And it being a hot day, with no plans to go right home afterwards, and this being a frozen entree, it made a purchase unwise at that time. I thought about taking a pic, but TJ's doesn't really like that, and I've bent enough rules in the past by recording a podcast there, so I relied on my old, thought-to-be-rustproof memory. I'll just tell Sandy to get it next time she goes. No biggie.

Well...no shrimpy. Internet searches and calls to all the area TJ's confirmed. It's chicken, not shrimp. It's still an acceptable protein, of course...but it ain't shrimp.

It's kinda too bad, as the chicken in the new TJ's fiery chicken curry is kinda the weak point. Not that I reasonably expect high quality pollo from a frozen dinner that cost $3.49. But I'd expect better than what I got here. The package states upfront it's chicken breast AKA white meat. Now, I have no real problem, generally, with dark thigh meat, but when you expect a few choice-ish morsels of white meat but get only three of them, and about three dense, grisly dark meat pieces it kinda throws you off. It'd be more acceptable if somewhat expected.

Everything else? On point. Gotta give it to TJ's on the sauces for their frozen dishes, particularly the Indian ones. This curry sauce is awesome. Coconutty, sweet, layered, peppery, fiery, spicy, with intensifying and lingering heat....yes to all of those. It wasn't too spicy for either Sandy or I, but could be for some of y'all out there. If the sauce were sold separately as "fiery curry sauce" we'd buy again and again and probably prop it to our pantheon on here.

Turmeric rice is turmeric rice. Helps fill out the meal and soak up all the sauce. Nice work, rice. Represent.

Still, with this being chicken and not shrimp I feel an opportunity got missed. And lo and behold I'm not completely crazy. The term "Goan-inspired" made me Wiki up some info, and, well, look: "Goan food is considered incomplete without fish." With some high quality shrimp, and even at a mildly increased price point, this dish could be a real absolute winner that'd help make up for a rare shrimp miss on TJ's part. Oh well.

The fiery chicken curry is definitely repeat purchase worthy if for no other reason than to get another hit of that tasty tasty sauce. Love it. Makes a perfect microwavable meal for my heavily birddogged no-less-than-28-but-absolutely-no-more-than-32-minutes lunch break for me. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Fiery Chicken Curry: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Honey Pale Ale Mustard

When I first met Sonia, she was going through a mustard phase. She absolutely slathered her food with mustard—even stuff that didn't necessarily call for mustard, like egg and cheese breakfast sandwiches. I thought it was weird, but you know, we all have our quirks. When friends would say, "Hey tell me about that girl you're dating now." I'd reply, "Well, she really likes mustard."

Myself? The older I've gotten, the more I've come to appreciate mustard. I wouldn't touch the stuff as a kid, but by the end of high school, I developed an appreciation for plain yellow. In later years, I came to know and love darker mustards, as well as sweeter ones. This particular selection has elements of both of the latter camps—it has a complex flavor like a darker mustard, but it also has a fair amount of honey sweetness.

I don't know about "pale ale" here. I love beer. I love ales. I love pale ales. But as far as hops, malt, and fermentation are concerned, neither Sonia nor I are tasting anything as specific as pale ale, although I do see there's a bit of it in there at the tail end of the ingredients list. 

Nevertheless, this is a tasty mustard by both our reckonings. It has the best of both a honey mustard and a dark type mustard, but without the spice of a traditional dijon. Sonia loved it with a salted soft pretzel. I had it with a turkey and swiss bagel sandwich, and it worked quite nicely. I'm sure it would go with anything traditional like burgers, too. I'd be interested if it would work with something like salmon even...? Haven't tried it yet, but let us know if you have.

It's going to get a thumbs up from each of us, though perhaps a bit more enthusiastic one from the mustard connoisseur. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Strawberry Fruit Spread with Natural Rose Flavor

Sometimes, only a good biscuit will do.

You know the type. Warm, soft and flaky inside. Slight crispy and greasy outside. Buttermilky. Carby. So amazingly, deliciously good, a little disc of heaven here on earth. Nothing can make them better, right?

Man, I wish that either my wife or I could make biscuits like that. Because we can't, and that means I can't put some Trader Joe's Strawberry Fruit Spread with Natural Rose Flavor all over top of them.

I weep.

This spread is totally my jam. Totally. It's soft, smooth and 100% spreadable all over the place. Aside from an occasional crispy from a stray seed, it's practically melt in your mouth good.

And taste? Dang. The spread is unmistakably strawberryesque and sweet, but not in an over-the-top, cloying way. I mean, yes, there's some added sugar but when isn't there in any type of fruit spread? Just goes with the territory. Plus the rose flavor seems to help keep the sugariness in check by offering just the right amount of balance. It's really quite something to taste.

It's not biscuits that came to mind for Sandy when she first sampled this new TJ's strawberry spread. Nope. Her first thought: Cupcakes, and using the spread as a fruity filling. I can get 100% behind that. Both of us aren't that big into cream-cheese-and-jam type deals but if you are, this would probably work. Or in some yogurt with a little granola. Or most anything else one could use jelly for...keep it outta the pb&j's, though. Or at least the ones for the kiddos. I have absolutely zero complaints, while Sandy only notes she wishes it were a little more rose-flavored. Regardless it's a great little pickup, and spread some on some tasty biscuits for us. Lucky.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Strawberry Fruit Spread with Natural Rose Flavor: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Ketchup Flavored Spud Crunchies

"But what if I don't like ketchup?"

Whoomp there it is.

That question hung in the air, pregnantly. Even I, who spoke it, couldn't believe it left my mouth. Karen, who is our family's favorite local TJ's employees, was experiencing some minor shock. I mean, there she was, working the sample station, giving my kids animal crackers, and telling what new and fun things I needed to try...and I laid that on her. I, Russ, who lives in Pittsburgh, within easy walking distance of where Heinz Ketchup was originally both created and manufactured, as a full red blooded American, admitted that I don't like ketchup. Never have, not even as a kid.

"Ummm...welll...I don't know how to answer that. But you oughtta try them, I guess. They're excellent," Karen finally said. "I don't know how to not like ketchup though."

Of course all of this was in reference to Trader Joe's Ketchup Flavored Spud Crunchies. Who better than me, lifelong ketchup skeptic, to review, right?

I don't know why I don't like ketchup, and after having about half the bag of these stick shape snacks, I still couldn't tell you. These are great. Each spud stick is liberally coated with a dusting of ketchup flavoring, and there's no mistaking it when it hits the taste buds. Initially, it's a touch tomato-ey sweet before moving on to other various flavors, like vinegar, onion and garlic. It's all very well balanced and ends with a touch of mild spice. In some ways the flavor is almost ultra-mild barbecue sauce....which is just another way of saying ketchup, I suppose. I like barbecue sauce though. Through it all, there's definitely the potato flavor coming through too, so overall the flavor impression of the spud crunchies is probably pretty close to eating some fries with ketchup, just in dry form.

Love the fry shape too. For whatever reason, potato sticks are more fun that potato chips, and they definitely give a different crunch. Remember Andy Capp Fries? I ate way too many of them in my formative years. These TJ's crunchers are fairly similar, except maybe a touch softer and not quite as "stale" feeling. Of course, my frame of reference is the snack bags from my middle school vending machine, so take that as you will. The sticks are easily snackable, poppable and portable. Yum.

I like them, I really do. I may not like ketchup (as reconfirmed recently on our family vacation) but apparently I like ketchup flavor, so there's that. Make out of that as you will. Each four serving bag is $1.99 which seems a reasonable enough price. I'll give 'em four spoons, and while Sandy actually hasn't had enough of them to warrant much opinion, our four year old wants to give them "100 golden spoons cuz they so yummy!" I'll take that as perfect score from her.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Ketchup Flavored Spud Crunchies: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's French Crêpe Wafer Cookies

More. Freaking. Cookies. 

I'm baffled as to why Trader Joe's makes so many different kinds of cookies, and I'm even more confused about why we bother reviewing them so religiously.

At least I was confused...before I shoveled a bunch of these delightful, crispy, buttery, flavorful, snacky sweet, angular edibles into my mouth—all the lightness and deliciousness of crepes in wafer cookie form. Now these could be one of my "desert island cookies." As of right now, they're definitely on Sonia's short list, too. 

They're tasty by themselves or slathered with cookie butter or served with ice cream...and I'm sure most of you readers have come up with dozens of ridiculously wondrous things to do with them that never occurred to me. I'll admit I was so enamored with them that I gobbled up most of my share plain before I tried putting any fixins on them. Sonia was the one that got creative with cookie butter and ice cream. 

Looks like traderjoes.com is suggesting we serve them with banana slices and chocolate syrup. That could work, as well, and it's probably more authentically crepey. 

$2.49 for a box with two separate little plastic trays covered in cellophane. Packaging overkill? Perhaps. But I'm sure it's there in hopes of preserving the outstanding buttery flavor of these wafers a little longer. There's also a delicate, multi-layered crispness that's hard to describe.

3.5 servings? Seems like a very random number to me, but whatever you say, Trader Joe.

The isosceles triangle is relatively unexplored territory in the world of geometrically-inspired snacking. I guess tortilla chips are isosceles, at least some of the time, too—and they are also quite tasty. They should offer isosceles triangle-shaped pancakes and pyramid-shaped cakes and pies and see if it makes them more delicious. 

Four and a half stars from Sonia once again. And another four from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Coffee Lover's Espresso Beans

Alright, everyone: Best road trip snacks. Go!

I've gone through different phases. A pack of minty gum is always good, but you need more. Sometimes pretzels, sometimes Combos. Some gummy candies are always welcome. For a while I was really into baby carrots for whatever reason, and I recall my brother saying once he liked having clementines along because they had the added bonus of making his car "smell nice." And of course, caffeine in some form, whether soda or more preferably coffee.

After our most recent vacation, Sandy and I may have a new favorite to add to the rotation. You guessed, it, it's Trader Joe's Coffee Lover's Espresso Beans.

Chocolate covered coffee beans are just about dang perfect for the road. You get a little inital sugar rush and then a good coffee buzz to keep you alert, without adding a bunch of liquid to your system that will make you stop every other travel plaza.

These TJ's coffee chocobeans aren't an exception. Just a few will get you going for sure. Plus, it's kinda fun with the different colors of them - the dark brown, the tan, the offwhite ones - even if they all kinda taste the same.

Yeah, I'd say that's the one downside. With the various shades and them "being inspired by your favorite sweet coffee combinations" I was hoping for, say, some caramel machiato ones, some "regular", some cappuccino type flavors, but nah, not so much. And it's a bit odd that TJ's markets it as chocolate, because it seems more of a creamy, sweet, sugary candy melt type coating than actual real chocolate. I'd somewhat discount my take - after all, I was popping them in while keeping the family minivan from hitting all the dang interstate potholes (seriously, NY, get your stuff together), but Sandy said much the same.

Other than that, I definitely enjoyed popping a couple in, waiting for the candy to soften a bit, and then crunch on down and get that hit. The small package cost no more than a couple bucks but kept Sandy and I going for hours. The beans were good enough for a nearly immediate rebuy for use at home and work, too - not just for the road, of course. Double fours for sure.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Coffee Lover's Espresso Beans: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Strawberry Greek Frozen Yogurt Parfait Bars

On hot summer days, I'll pop open the freezer to see what frozen goodies the wife has stashed away. I'll often find a box of Outshine yogurt bars hiding behind stacks of frozen veggies and waffles. Sonia knows better than to advertise such purchases to me. After grocery runs, she'll discreetly put them in the back of the ice box when I'm not looking. 

It's not that she wants to keep them all to herself. She's smart enough to know that I'll eat the entire box in a day if I'm aware of them right away. So generally, she'll consume the first bar or two in the day following their arrival to our freezer, and all the rest will rapidly fall prey to my insatiable sweet tooth. For those of you who like to preach "self-control" and "willpower," I'd like to point out that there are, in fact, different kinds of self-control. Mine is the kind that refrains from purchasing sweets while at the grocery store in the first place. Once they're in the house, it's game-over for me, provided that I'm aware of their presence.

I'm pretty sure these parfait bars will take the place of Outshine in our freezer now. Sonia is a huge fan. And that's a good thing. Because she'll make sure she eats at least half of them right off the bat. This first box didn't even last a full hour between the two of us. We ate two immediately upon arrival, semi-melted from the July heat, while the remaining two re-froze for a bit.

The flavor is excellent. Not too sticky sweet, not too tangy. It's strawberry yogurt at its best—creamy, flavorful, and satisfying. The granola is a wonderful addition. It's not intrusive or excessive, and it adds a little body and fullness to the texture. If you're expecting super crunchy granola, you might be a bit disappointed. It's "soggy" granola, for lack of a better word, but we both like it just fine. It's like the granola you might find in one of the "bowl" offerings from Jamba Juice or somewhere similar. The bars are relatively small, but they're fairly filling.

$2.99 for four bars. Pretty decent numbers as far as fat and calories are concerned. There's a fair amount of added sugars, but when balanced against the overall satisfaction factor, it's definitely not a deal-breaker here.

Four and a half stars and an enthusiastic thumbs up from Sonia. Four stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Kunefe

Before we dive into the review, let me just throw this little disclaimer out there: I've never had kunefe prior to trying this product. I've had plenty of international desserts, and I love Mediterranean food in general, but this isn't something I recall seeing listed on menus. Could be it was there and I passed over it because I had no clue what it was. Now I do and I just might try it next time I'm in a Turkish restaurant.

All that to say I won't be comparing this to other kunefe. I'll just be recounting our personal experience with this fascinating foreign dessert offering from TJ's. Kinda hard to lead into a review with a personal story when you don't have any anecdotes about the product in question. I know you're all heartbroken, but my disclaimer will have to serve as the lead-in here.

Found it in the frozen section of the Halsey Street, Portland store for $3.99. It wasn't immediately apparent that it was a dessert. I mean, it would have been if I had read the blurb on the back of the box, but that's just not my style. If I learn too much about something—anything, I tend to psych myself out and lose interest. Better to dive in as blind as possible and have no expectations.

The baking instructions were easy enough even for this guy. You simply place the unwrapped tray in the oven and bake for 20-22 min. There's a pouch full of a clear, sweet syrup that you add after baking, flip the dessert over onto a serving plate, and then sprinkle a packet of pistachio bits on the top. From frozen to serving in about 25 minutes. No major mishaps or fine examples of foodie-hackery here. 

It's hard to describe. Pretty tasty if you ask me. Unusual. The outer portions are quite crispy. Wisps of phyllo dough grace the exterior of the dish. The core of the dessert is made of sweet, melty mozzarella and mizithra cheeses. The pistachio sprinkles are tastable but not overbearing. There might be something vaguely reminiscent of baklava here if it weren't for all that cheese. But as it stands, I like it, in the words of the late Chris Cornell, "cause it doesn't remind me of anything." 

I'm always down for novel experiences.

Sonia had an equally difficult time describing the flavor, but she, too, liked it quite a bit—particularly its uniqueness. If you like sweet cheeses and phyllo-encrusted desserts, it's most definitely worth a whirl. Four stars from each of us.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Apple Cider Drinking Vinegar

Last week, I saw an article online referring to a new food product  as "salad frosting." Didn't click on it. Couldn't. Listen, I don't care if it were frosting that tasted like salad, or some sort of -not-quite-dressing matter to put atop a sald. I din't want to know. Just sounded way too gross. If this were to somehow come to Trader Joe's, yeah, I'd make Nathan and Sonia do that one because just NOPE.

On the same spectrum but not nearly to that extreme is Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Apple Cider Drinking Vinegar. Drinking. Vinegar. "Drinking vinegar." That...just doesn't sound appealing. At all.

As recently as a year ago or so I would have noped my way out of this one too. But I've really come to enjoy kombucha and related beverages, and have thought of making some sort of apple cider vinegar-y concoction as an alternative and occasional chnage up.

As of now, TJ's carries two varieties of drinking vinegars: cucumber mint and strawberry basil. As you can see Sandy and I got both to try. I opted for the strawberry as cucumber mint usually isn't one of my favorite combos.

It's a smooth beverage, for sure, and goes down easy. There's less bite and funk than from kombucha, probably from lack of fermentation. There's no little SCOBY floaties around either if that's something that skeeves you. There's also a touch less carbonation too - still some but not as much as kombucha. And sure, yes, there's a decent taste of vinegar, but it's fairly mild and unoffensive overall.

For flavor, the strawberry basil made a nice profile. It's a little sweet, a little herby...hey, maybe it'd make a good salad frosting! Ugh. I took a small swig of the cucumber mint and didn't like it as much - it had a little bit of a "minty pickle" vibe to it. Sandy said that's ludicrous, but it's logical to me - cucumber and vinegar plus mint, right? Minty pickle. Regardless, she said it wasn't like that at all, but she liked the strawberry better too.

Give 'em a try. They're a bit small so noit exactly a thirst quencher, and at $1.69 each I'm unsure of how great a deal it is...but I digress. Drinking one made my queasy stomach feel ten times better within minutes so I'm not gonna argue much. Four spoons each for these vinegars from my lovely bride and me.

Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Apple Cider Drinking Vinegar: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Ube Purple Yam Flavored Ice Cream

Ice cream: one of the staples of summer. I won't say I don't eat it year round, because I do, but it's one of those things that's just part of most Americans' arsenal of beat-the-heat foods. Fortunately, we haven't needed much in the way of "beat-the-heat" this year so far since we've been meandering around the Pacific Northwest. It's our first time here, and we've just been in Oregon for the past 3 weeks or so, heading into Washington. We had one 90 degree day last week, and when we really needed ice cream, we didn't have any, and we didn't feel like driving into town from our campground to get it. Now we have some and it's in the 50's outside. Go figure.

But like I said, I'll eat ice cream in pretty much any weather. So I did.

First impressions: it doesn't taste like a vegetable. Didn't really think it would. Yams are pretty desserty to begin with. There's almost a cake batter vibe to the taste in my opinion. Maybe that's just a subliminal notion bubbling up to the surface since it's my 40th birthday today and I'm in cake mode. Although, Sonia didn't disagree with that assertion, either.

First thing that popped into her head: taro. That's probably a more accurate assessment since taro is also a root vegetable that's frequently used in frozen desserts. I remember having it when Yogurtland and its myriad imposters were all the rage like 10 years ago. I know they still exist, but I haven't been to one in quite a while. Also boba tea and other Asian novelty foods are often taro-flavored. This flavor does taste similar to taro if memory serves me correctly. I wanna say this flavor is slightly less floral...?

The taste is nutty, lightly sweet, subtly earthy, and vanilla-esque. There's nothing "purple" about it if you're like me and think everything purple should taste like grapes or berries. There might be a slight pistachio-esque vibe here, too. Cream and sugared egg yolks add to the density and richness of the ice cream.

$2.99 for the pint. It's not dairy-free or vegan or anything—just pretty decent ice cream with interesting ingredients and a unique flavor. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Covered Mini Pretzels

Seems like TJ's has had chocolate covered pretzels on their shelves for years...like basically always. I can't remember a time they haven't been there. And yet, I don't think we've ever purchased them. Not the plain old milk chocolate covered ones, anyway. 

But now, they're in a fancy new resealable bag, they're featured prominently on traderjoes.com under "What's New," and TJ's is begging us to taste them again...for the first time, or something like that.

So we did.

No cookie butter filling. No exotic foreign confectionery coating. No hazelnut sprinkles. Just pretzels and chocolate. And some newfangled packaging.

I've always liked chocolate covered pretzels, and these are no exception. They taste exactly as I remember them. Salty, sweet, bready. The chocolate is still smooth and the pretzels are still crunchy. They still dot your fingertips with little brown splotches if it's warm outside, and they're still just a tad too firm when it's cold out—or if you store them in the fridge rather than the pantry. 

They're so run-of-the-mill, I'm really at a loss what to write about them. There's absolutely nothing new or innovative about these tasty tidbits, but it's also nice to know they didn't screw them up, either.

I have this memory from very early childhood. It was probably the first time I'd ever had a chocolate covered pretzel. It was evening and the sky was dark. There were two elderly ladies that babysat me frequently in those days, and I was in their apartment on Chocolate Avenue in Hershey, PA. No lie. There's a Chocolate Ave there. Cocoa Ave, too. Anyway, they had this little apartment in downtown Hershey, and I spent a lot of time there. At this point, I couldn't have been older than three or four years old. I remember eating a chocolate pretzel they gave me—my parents wouldn't allow me to have chocolate back in those days, but these two: Nana and Minnie—they'd let me live a little while in their care. The chocolate pretzel they gave me was so transcendently delicious, I remember being excited about life in a way that's very hard to capture now at nearly 40 years old. And then, as if the moment weren't special enough, I recall looking up into the night sky through their kitchen window and seeing a streak of light—I had no idea what it was at the time, but in retrospect, it must have been a shooting star. I don't think I've ever experienced a sense of awe greater than that instant, with the taste of chocolate pretzel dangling on my tongue. 

I don't eat chocolate pretzels all that often these days, but that night in the early 80's comes to mind almost every time I do, and for that reason, there will always be a special place in my heart for these tasty morsels. $3.49 for the 12 oz bag.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ghost Chile BBQ Sauce

Nothing can make smashburger night any better at my house.

What's a smashburger, you ask? Simple. I break out my trusty cast iron griddle, heat it up, lightly handle a small chunk of ground beef (really, as little as possible, can't mush or ball it up too much), place in the piping hot cast iron...and promptly smash into thin burger form with a cast iron bacon press. Add a little salt and pepper, flip after a minute or two, melt some cheese atop. Goodness, it makes a good burger...way better than what should be possible. Fun to make too.

And not only that...but all my kids like them and practically beg for them, and eat them happily. If we go more than two weeks without smashburger night, it's an upset.

Yup, nothing can make smashburger night any better...except for just maybe Trader Joe's Ghost Chile BBQ Sauce.

 I'm always on the lookout for new and interesting sauces for TJ's. This must be pretty dang new, because man, sounds awesome, right? Also a little daunting, even though past ghost pepper products from TJ's were a bit underwhelming.

What's the case here? This BBQ sauce is hot. Legitmately. It takes a bit for the flames to stoke themselves, but when they do...wooo. It's a bit much for Sandy, who took a few bites on some grilled chicken for our first go around with the sauce, and promptly waved the mercy flag. I didn't but about halfway through, at the base of my throat, I felt that heat rise up with my eyes watering just a touch. It wasn't unbearable but it's been a while since I've enjoyed a good little burn like that.

It's a well-balanced heat, though. Upfront the sauce tastes a bit tame and even a little sweet and sugary from the tomatoes and pineapple juice base. It's a set-up, though, that starts sneaking in with a little pepper, a little garlic and spice, a little touch of smokiness. Then it hits. Not right away, but when it does, it does.

My only real complaint, if I could call it that, is that it's a bit thin for my taste. There's not much body to the sauce as it strays more towards a very light consistency. I like thick and gloppy sauce, not watery and runny.

Other than that, the ghost chile barbeque sauce is a winner in my book. Buy a supply and apply to all your summery barbeque needs if you can handle it. Tasted equally delicious on grilled chicken as it did on my aforementioned smashburger. Next time I smoke a pulled pork I know what sauce I'll be using, and should look to baste on some ribs. That's gotta be good. Just know your crowd. Sandy said she liked it but would like it more if she "knew how to handle it" which is her weay of saying it was a touch too potent for her. She's going with only a mere three for her score which is too low in my book. Maybe there's some legit ways to tamper it down a bit without losing too much, but that's not for me. Four and a half, I say.This stuff is an absolute smash.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Ghost Chile BBQ Sauce: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Seasoned Smoked Salmon

Used to be my lovely bride wouldn't dream of touching something such as Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Seasoned Smoked Salmon. No way, no how. I mean, when we first started dating she had all these picky rules and barely ate any meat aside from maybe chicken, and once tried to convince us to go vegetarian (which I for some reason bought into to her face while sneaking beef jerky at work).

Not any more, thank God. Good smoked meats like my dad's pastrami or my patented smashburger have convinced her that meat is perfectly acceptable. Still...salmon. She likes fish just fine, but fish that stays pink was always weird for her. Wouldn't touch it.

Notice all that past tense? Not only did Sandy alert me to the existence of this new TJ's smoked salmon, she dragged me to the store to buy it, and spotted it when I couldn't, and completely insisted we have it for dinner, forgoing bacon out of all things. Dang, girl.

And it's well worth it. This salmon is pretty dang good. Is it the seasoning? As previously reviewed, the Everything but the Bagel seasoning is absolutely delish. It's everything from an everything bagel, except the bagel. Duh. And of course it goes well on almost everything, including bagels, but in this case also on salmon, which we placed, namely, on a bagel, nova lox style.

It helps that the salmon itself is really mild, non fishy Atlantic salmon. As good as Pacific? Nah...but good. The fish gives an excellent base for the ample amounts of garlic an onion and everything else to really kinda spread out and express itself. It's really almost creamy too, and soft, as opposed to fleshy or even meaty. It's closer to, say, prosciutto than a sliced fish filet.

It's $5.49 for the smallish two serving package, which is about the going rate for these type of deals. So savor it a little bit, eh? We sure did, even though our nearly seven year old scowled through almost every small bite we gave her. That poor child, she doesn't know any better....yet. Her mama sure learned though. Go get it and don't regret it. Thumbs up all around.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Seasoned Smoked Salmon: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Spiced Chai Black Tea Concentrate

As long as I've known her, one of Sonia's go-to beverages has been Oregon Chai. It's kind of appropriate to mention it now, since we'll be traveling through Oregon in just a few days. But anyway, she's been on a bit of a chai kick lately, even before spotting this new chai concentrate at TJ's. 

Although I rarely seek it out above other beverages, I generally enjoy chai and I've tried plenty of different varieties and brands throughout the years. Just from Trader Joe's alone, we've seen pretty decent chai tea bags and powdered chai mix, among others. So what sets this product apart from the pack?

Well, it's concentrated, obviously. The bottle asks for two parts milk or non-dairy beverage to every one part chai. We used almond milk. That 2:1 ratio seemed right on the money to me. I usually have to get rebellious when it comes to preparation instructions, but not here.

Also, this stuff is actually spicy. There's a warmth you can feel as you drink the beverage, and it lingers in the mouth for a bit after you're done. Neither of us found it unpleasant, but I could see some folks seeking out something a little less feisty. You could always just dilute the mixture a tad more if you're in that camp.

The black tea flavor, too, is strong. Sonia thinks the biggest differences between this product and Oregon Chai is the bolder black tea flavor and stronger spiciness in this Trader Joe's offering. The Oregon version is a little lighter on both counts.

Despite its intensity, the wife and I both found it highly drinkable and don't have any major complaints. When asked if she preferred this over her beloved Oregon Chai, she said neither one is head and shoulders above the other, but her preference would depend on her mood on a given day. She said this one reminded her of a certain Tazo chai she used to drink many years ago, but hasn't had in a while.

$2.49 for a pint of concentrated chai. Along with TJ's concentrated cold brew coffees, this product is a winner in our books. Four stars a piece. 

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.