Trader Joe's Raises the Bar

The birds here in our neighborhood are absolutely ravenous for birdseed. They can clear out our moderately-sized feeder in a single day. It's mostly finches, chickadees, and sparrows—and of course, those ugly, ubiquitous grackles. The squirrels would normally be a problem, too, but the birds eat up the food so quickly that the bushy-tailed, tree-dwelling rodents often don't even get a crack at raiding the feeder before it's empty.

In light of all that, it's pretty obvious that our backyard buddies would love a shot at one of these birdseed bars. It would be gone in minutes, maybe seconds. I'm not sure how good tapioca syrup, cane sugar, and maple syrup are for birds, but I am sure they'd happily deal with the consequences for just a taste of all those yummy seeds and grains.

Channeling her inner-bird, Sonia, too, makes short work of these Raises the Bar bars. I liked them okay, but I think I've had too many other granola bar type selections from Trader Joe's that I liked the taste of better. The Fruit and Nut Trek Mix Bars come to mind—and the much more recently-reviewed Organic Chia Bars do as well.

Appearance-wise, Raises the Bar are very similar to the chia bars but are square, rather than rectangular. There are bunches of seeds and tiny ingredients all smooshed together, united by the aforementioned syrups and honey. The base is most definitely oats, and accordingly, they taste quite "oaty." They're also very mapley, with a significant sunflower component as well.

They're chock full of whole grains and are conveniently individually-wrapped. Five bars for $2.79 makes this a pretty decent value, too. If you're looking for a super simple breakfast option or even just an easy afternoon snack, these bars are worth a purchase. In the end, it all comes down to taste, and Sonia just appreciated these a bit more than I did. Four and a half stars from her. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pinks & Whites

"Pinks & Whites" sounds like something you might read on the front door of a racist establishment. The "whites" would obviously be, you know, normal Caucasian folk. And the "pinks" would be, well...people like me. And Jim Gaffigan. And possibly Russ, too. You know, gingers. People like poor Sonia would walk up to the door and the xenophobic host would say, "Sorry, ma'am. Pinks and Whites only," gesturing to the sign on the door.

But make no mistake: these pink and white cookies are intended for all colors and ethnicities, even in these times of high racial tension. These flower-shaped snacks are all-inclusive. Well, except maybe for the gluten-intolerant. And the lactose-intolerant (yogurt coating is the number one ingredient). And those with allergies to soy, egg, peanut, or coconut. And vegans.

But other than those unlucky folks, these cookies are super-unifying and good at bringing people together. Because they flaunt a delicate shortbread taste, a milky-sweet frosting, and a generous amount of happy, colorful sprinkles that just about anyone can enjoy. They made Sonia and I feel like kids again.

Because we both had ginormous bags of pink and white cookies when we were young—except they were animal-shaped back then. No, not Barnum's Animals. They were Mother's. No, not my mother's. Ha! My mother never baked anything in her life. Mother's brand. Apparently, they're still on the market. 

A quick glance at TJ's ingredients versus Mother's ingredients reveals that Trader Joe's is once again far less deadly. Mother's infused a little vitamin B into their cookies to make them seem healthy. I mean, B1 and B2 can't hurt, but they probably won't offset the hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup they snuck in there too. Jeez.

At any rate, the Trader Joe's version tastes just as good as, if not a little better than, those old-school animal cookies. Buttery, sweet, and highly-snackable, they're everything you've ever wanted in a yogurt-coated shortbread cookie. Both Sonia and I wish these had been around when we were kids. 

Truth be told, I'm not often in the mood for such cookies these days, but since they're as good as this kind of cookie gets, I can't go lower than three and a half stars. Sonia will give them an even four.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Bark Thins

Nothing chocolate is safe in my house.

Oh, it's safe from the kids. As much as the girls love their "CHAAWWK-let" (as they say), we can more or less control their intake because we have longer limbs and defter hiding skills than them.

And it's safe from Sandy, too - she has the self control of a meditative master. That, coupled with this odd capacity to just hold on and on to snacks and whatnot until she is "fully ready to enjoy that snack" (whatever that means), results in her still having Easter candy from five years ago. How you gonna like that Peep now?

So, it's me. I'm the threat. Not sure what it is, but pretty much always (and in some ways in an even more acute sense over the past few months, I've wanted chocolate. It's some kinda odd man-craving. That sounds awkward. Anyways, because of this, and because we bought this right before Sandy and the kids were out for a week visiting my folks, Sandy ought to be proud of me that I didn't touch "her" Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Bark Thins once  while she was gone.

Once this got opened, though? She'd be less proud then for sure.

Listen: it's not my fault. These bark thins aren't particularly fancy, but they make a pretty darn good little chocolate snack. Somehow we neglected to snap a pic of them, but if you ready the description on the front of the package, it explains exactly what they look like: odd sized and shaped shards of this 65% dark chocolate (tastes like the typical TJ dark choc variety) with some little teeny almond bits in here and there to add a little texture and crunch. By "thin", they absolutely are - no more than a few millimeters, to about the point wherre any thinner would call the structural integrity into question.

As could be reasonably expected, the dark chocolate and almonds pair well together, with the salt being a nice little touch. So nothing unexpected one way or another...except there does seem to be a little something extra. I think it's the thinness adding an extra snacky element. A regular chocolate bar would be a veritable slab requiring lots of commitment compared to a few wedges of this treat. For a quick sneaky hit of chocolate here or there, a little piece or two of this bark hits the spot, more so than a Hershey kiss to me.

It's a pretty good little pickup for the $4-ish it set us back. With a little control, the tub lasted us a few days of us both grabbing a piece here or there. Sandy only had to smack my hands away one or three times. As stated, nothing fancy or twisty or unexpected, but a smidge more snacktacular than anticipated. Matching fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Bark Thins: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Thai Yellow Curry Sauce

Since the drive to a decent Thai restaurant is a relatively long one from our current home, Sonia and I have gotten into the habit of picking up what Thai-inspired products we can from Trader Joe's. Here's a good example of one. It's been on the shelves of Trader Joe's for many, many years. And those of you familiar with TJ's know that not every product stands the test of time there. Those that do tend to be pretty good.

This product is no exception to that rule. It's got a great sweet oniony, garlicky flavor with a coconut milk base and hints of ginger. But like its Thai Red Curry Sauce cousin, it's a little wanting in the heat department—if anything, this yellow selection is ever so slightly spicier than the red, but make no mistake, neither product will scorch your tongue by any means. Fortunately, lack of heat does not translate to a complete lack of flavor.

It coats food well and flaunts a nice thick, creamy texture. We served it with white rice, roasted potatoes, and the previously-reviewed Trader Joe's Tofu. It worked pretty well with those comparatively neutrally-flavored foods. The yellow sauce was definitely the most flavorful element of the meal, but even so, I wouldn't say it's particularly pungent. Even the garlic and onion essences don't really knock you in the teeth. They're there, but not overwhelmingly so.

I think this sauce could be quite versatile if you wanted to get a little more adventurous than we did. The bottle mentions it works well with meat, poultry, or veggies. I can totally see that. We just might pick it up again and do some more experimentation with it. Our only complaint is that it could use a little more "oomph."

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mango Margarita Mixer

After slowly weaning myself off mango over the past month or so, I fell right off the wagon after spotting this exotic margarita mix at the local TJ's. Sonia and I weren't able to make a Princeton run (the closest Trader Joe's store that sells alcohol) for TJ's brand booze, so we made due with an off brand, and we whipped up a batch of blended margaritas to help beat this summer heat and humidity.

Unlike quite a few of the offerings we saw earlier this summer, this is a product that actually should be mango-flavored. It's a sweet, candy mango taste that blends well with tequila. Margaritas are a uniquely-summery beverage, and they lend themselves to uniquely-summery flavors like mango. To me, it seems much fruitier and juicier than its lemon-lime predecessor. Of course, both flavors are good, but in a way, I think this one works even better. Who knows? This product may actually pre-date the recent onslaught of mango insanity at Trader Joe's. Somehow it just doesn't seem as forced as products like mango sandwich cookies and mango chia pudding.

Also like the previously-reviewed traditional flavor, this margarita mixer uses simple, natural ingredients. If there's anyone else out there who enjoys margaritas and also tries to avoid high fructose corn syrup, I'm sure you've discovered that it's virtually impossible to find margarita mixer at a normal grocery store that uses actual sugar in its ingredients—and in the rare case you do find it, it costs an arm and a leg. This stuff is only $2.69.

By itself, the mixer is very thick and way too sweet. It needs to be diluted significantly. I think four ice cubes and one shot of tequila per two ounces mixer works best, but it's also decent as the base for virgin cocktails with only water/ice and maybe a lime wedge, as suggested on the label—so, yes, the kids can enjoy this one, too.

Mangoritas taste like summer. Double fours.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Matar Paneer

Obviously, I was taking a risk here with Trader Joe's Matar Paneer.

I've braved both frozen and boxed Indian food from Trader Joe's, with more success than not. But look...it doesn't matter how cool and printy and no labelly and kinda retro the can looks, it's still a can. A can. Conveniently with a pop-top tab, I may add, so in the history of cans, this can is up there...but, still, a metal, shelf stable can, prone to dents and questionable-by-association contents.

But that's not even all. If you can't tell by the photobombs by Optimus Prime and a cheapie USB plug fan from Target, this was my work lunch one day this past week. So not only did I have to open a can of Indian food, I would then have to heat it in the microwave. I don't mean this in any sort of rude way, but I didn't want to be lumped with the guy who zapped some fish (never, ever do that at work) or the nice lady who scorched her popcorn.  I didn't want anything to smell too curry-ous if you know what I mean.

And then I would have eat it, and again, not to be rude, but deal with any potential, umm, after-effects while on the clock. I do enough on my own every day the toes the HR-visit line, did we really need to tempt it?

I did. And happy to report, the matar paneer passed every test. Rather impressively, I may add.

After just a couple minutes and a stir or two from the break room nuker, lunch was served. The aroma was surprisingly mildly fragrant - definitely some warmth with spices, but my cubicle neighbor's chicken fingers made its presence known more than my bowlful of Indian. Got a few compliments from those closest to me but that was it. Visually, the curry appeared soupier than it actually was - the peas and onions thickened up the tomato base more than expected, without seeming too swampy. With a little rice mixed in after a couple bites, the feel and consistency was just right.

And taste...my goodness. Is it authentic matar paneer tase? Look: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I don't know. But purely on it's own basis, it's delicious. Plenty of the usual Indian spices - enough heat to help clear the sinuses a little, with a pleasant linger, but easy enough to cover up with a stick or two of gum afterwards. If you've had the paneer in other TJ's dishes, this is fairly like the others - softly firm, mild, a welcome bite, and there's plenty of it.

I'd say it's dang near perfect for a work lunch mix up from the norm - cheap (was it even $2?), easy (dump, zap, eat), quick, delicious. Just make sure you don't have an important meeting afterwards, and watch out for dribbling on the TPS reports. I'm going solo on this - Sandy wasn't entirely willing to take the risk until she saw how I fared - but sometimes with high risk, comes high reward. This is one of those times.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Matar Paneer: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Mini Cupcakes

We've already seen TJ's knock gluten-free cupcakes out of the park. And this review is here to confirm that, yes, they've absolutely done it again. In fact, I know they have other varieties of GF cupcakes, and I've never heard anyone complain about them at all. Ever.

I read an article not long ago that scientists have found a way to make better gluten free flour. I'm wondering if these cupcakes are the result of said scientific breakthrough. Because I didn't miss the gluten at all. Maybe we just got a super-freshly-baked batch, but if anything, the bread part of the cupcake was more moist and more delicious than a normal cupcake.

The frosting was on point, as well. Sonia absolutely raved about it. It was slightly more in the direction of traditional frosting than the frosting on the Buttercream Cupcakes we linked to in the first paragraph. But this stuff wasn't stiff like cupcakes from a traditional grocery store bakery. It felt and tasted fluffy and whipped, with a really nice sweet, creamy flavor.

As has been the case with a few TJ's products in the past, I was significantly more enamored with the vanilla flavor than I was with the chocolate, although the chocolate was nothing to complain about. I'm not a vanilla supremacist. I swear. I just really want sweetness without as much richness sometimes.

Two thumbs up from Sonia and I. Double fours.

If you're interested in the nutrition facts, just click here.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic 100% Melon Juice

Wait...what?

There's such a thing as orange honeydew? I've only ever seen green ones...the only orange melon I can think of are cantaloupes...but an orange honeydew? Dang.

Shows what a sheltered life I've lived for close to 34 years. File this away under "something new every day." And I now feel as knowledgable about fruit as my 20 month old daughter who calls every fruit an "apple." Gets me every time.

Anyways, there is a TJ's variant of a cold-pressed cantaloupe juice floating around, which I knew this wasn't, but when seeing the label and shade of Trader Joe's Organic 100% Melon Juice, I presumed it was cantaloupe.

Which made my first sip very interesting...because, naturally, it tasted pretty much just like honeydew. Perhaps the orange variety are a a slight touch sweeter, because there seemed to be a little extra natural sugar at play here. Also, I'm perfectly comfortable with being further labelled as a fool for saying so, but I also tasted a small amount of subtle astringency here. Maybe that's stemming from the optical illusion that this murky orangey semi-greenish water could kinda kinda look like some type of citrus green tea variant.

Eh, whatever. It works. It's a clean, simple healthy juice that tastes like it's straight from the Sledge-O-Matic and refreshes nicely on a hot summer day. I'd still prefer to reach for some tasty lemonade after mowing the lawn, but if this was all we had, there'd be no disappointment. Winner in the wife and kids' eyes too, so not bad at all for just three bucks.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic 100% Melon Juice: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Stacked Eggplant Parmesan

If someone asks you if you've tried "Trader Joe's Eggplant Parm," you've got to ask them if they mean this Stacked Eggplant Parmesan or, you know, that other abomination. Because in my opinion, this stuff is in every way superior to that Trader Giotto's eggplant dish that comes in a tray. The nutrition info for both products is comparable, although the serving size for the Stacked is somewhat smaller than the other dish. The only good thing about Trader Giotto's Eggplant Parm is that our review of it sparked a dialogue about this delicious offering. I'm super glad we tried it.

Far from being chewy like the previously-reviewed parm, the stacked variety, if anything, is too supple and soft. I understand some people prefer their eggplant on the crispy side. If you're in that boat, then I guess you might have a legitimate complaint about this particular product. I felt like it flaunted a nice "melt-in-your-mouth" quality, but Sonia thought it fell apart a little too easily. That's not to say she didn't enjoy it. She loved the flavor. And what's not to love? It's a collection of every stereotypical tasty ingredient commonly found in Italian food all mixed in and "stacked" on amazing eggplant. Especially impressive was the ricotta cheese. Tomato, bell pepper, and bread crumbs help round out the taste and texture.

We ate ours with pasta, and it worked really well. I'd be perfectly happy eating this dish all by itself, or you could slap a slab of this in between some quality Italian bread and make a sandwich of sorts. I'm not known for my culinary creativity, but I'm sure some of you guys have come up with some interesting ways to eat this entree. 

Apparently there's a third TJ's brand eggplant parm product that has somehow eluded us up to this point: Trader Giotto's Eggplant Parmesan Towers. Let us know if any of you have tried that one and we'll add it to our shopping list. Sonia and I haven't been on a proper TJ's run in a hot minute—we actually had these stacked eggplant parms a while back—but now we know there's a Pokéstop right next to the local TJ's, we have another good reason to go!

Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mahi Mahi Burgers

Ever see what a mahi mahi looks like? As in the actual fish? I sure as heck hadn't, and since I have a sick sense of humor in which I like to put a face to whatever animal I'm currently eating, I Google image searched one the other night while standing out by my grill and came across this. Um, wow. Like, I'm not sure what I exactly expected a mahi mahi to look like, but it wasn't quite that. Big ol' paint dropcloth looking thing. Um...yumm?

Well, in burger form...absolutely.

There's many fine and wonderful and fancy ways to enjoy a good slab of mahi mahi, but for a quick, easy, and convenient preparation, it may be hard to be beat Trader Joe's Mahi Mahi Burgers. These frozen fish pucks are yet another example what draws me to TJ's seafood products - it's overall fresh and clean vibe. So many other frozen seafood I've had is salty or mushy or overly fishy or just off.

But nope, not here. The fish itself has a very mild, clean flavor, with a couple spices like paprika and rosemary put on for a little character, but there's not much standing in the way of the actual fish flavor. One thing both Sandy and I particularly liked: these actually really hit the "burger button." The texture and mouthfeel approximate that of a regular beef or turkey burger - a little softer, yes, but as close as a fish can get to a burger, these do. We're impressed. And even our kiddos love them - our just-turned-four year old M grins with delight every time we tell her fish burgers our on the menu.

Put anything on these burgers you like - we particularly enjoyed some salsa or slaw or (as pictured) the chile lime powder. It's light, good eating. The box of four runs about $6, which isn't awful for some decent quality fish, and as a pro tip, they even reheat well without stinking up the joint (so says Sandy, I'd be too chicken to try that). Great summer time pick up to toss something a little different on the grill, so we're going with some high marks here. I took awful pics of the nutritional stats so see them here.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mahi Mahi Burgers: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Mango & Strawberry Flatbread

Well since Mr. Shelly is retiring from the wonderful world of mango product reviews, I guess it's up to me to keep the mango insanity astir on this blog. And even under threat of home invasion and sedation, that mango cookie butter is MINE! You'll never get within a hundred feet of our house without our Alfred and Sadie-driven home security system barking us awake, Russ. NEVER!

Be that as it may, I'm sure that yet another mango review is not only encouraging Big Joe to make more of these mango products, but it's also annoying the heck out of half of our readers. (Please see survey at the bottom of this review.) But honestly, I think this product is worth a looksee. It's a complicated product, far more sophisticated than most of the mango offerings we've seen this past month or so.

First of all, we have to be familiar with the Law of Balsamic Reduction. It states that "any rectangular flatbread with balsamic drizzle can be reduced into exactly five smaller rectangular flatbreads with sides exactly one fifth the size of the original rectangle, but despite maintaining the same side to side ratio, all toppings, including balsamic reduction drizzle, shall be unevenly distributed across said flatbreads." In layman's terms, this means that once cut into smaller slices, some pieces of flatbread will have tons of toppings and others will have very little—specifically, the end pieces will have an unfavorable bread to topping ratio.

Never has the Law of Balsamic Reduction been more apparent than with this ambitious attempt at a gourmet appetizer. Nevertheless, the center pieces of our flatbread came out quite tasty, in my opinion, flaunting two delicious fruits, wilted arugula, and varying amounts of the aforementioned sweet balsamic reduction drizzle. Sonia thinks the mango and balsamic together resulted in a taste too intense for her tongue. She doesn't think they clashed exactly—she just thinks one or the other would have provided adequate sweetness and that both together was overkill. I'll agree that they were both quite sweet, but they were two very different kinds of sweet, if that makes sense. 

It's definitely a roller coaster ride for the taste buds, but you know, every once in a while, I really like to take my tongue on the big boy rides.

If you're open to a suave kind of sweetness, I recommend this product wholeheartedly. My biggest complaints would be that there weren't nearly enough strawberries and that the toppings were unevenly distributed. The balsamic reduction sauce did come in a separate packet that I put on myself, so I guess if that was unevenly distributed, I only have myself to blame.

I give this product four and a half stars. Sonia will only spring for three.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

survey solution

Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka

Yes, yes...I know. Another mango product review. Believe me, I'm SICK of mango stuff. It's part of the gig - Trader Joe's leads a mango onslaught, it's my job to figure out what's good and worthwhile, and what simply isn't. Way too many products have been middling at best thus far. Seems even the TJ's employees I've talked to, informally, are tired of mango everything.

Well, here's a proclamation: I (Russ), as of the completion of this review, am DONE with any mango-related review from now on until eternity. Pretty much the only exception would be IF (and it's a big part two-part IF) something truly amazeballs would debut, like, say, mango cookie butter, and I drove to South Jersey first, and chloroformed the Rodgers clan to make sure I got to it first. That's...probably not going to happen, Pennsylvania turnpike tolls being what they are.

But I'd be absolutely derelict in my duties if I didn't tell you about Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka. Hands down, it's our absolute favorite TJ mango concoction we've had yet. And this is coming from a very mango-weary man. It's been multiple-purchase worthy, which for a treat and non-staple, is very, very high praise for our establishment.

It must be said this babka is my only frame of reference for babka - I've led a sheltered life. It's a large, weighty pastry loaf which I'd liken most closely to a danish - it's chewy and layered yet kinda flaky. I guess there's a certain denseness to it, but not as much as what I've heard re: the chocolate babka ("condensed brownie" are the words I recall). No, a slice will practically fall apart along the dough spiral lines, with a sweet, sugary, but not overkill mango puree swirled in, with extra mango flavor coming from the faintly orange dough. A little light mango glaze on top adds just that little extra oomph as well.

A little look at the ingredient list offered a surprising insight that might explain this product's overall success: that "mango puree" I mentioned? It's apples, followed by apricots, and then the mango. It's odd, because it is decidedly mangotastic...maybe the apples offer a suitable base, while the apricots seamlessly boost the flavor...I don't know...but it works. No question about it.

A slice of babka with a cup of coffee makes a nice little morning treat, or skip the coffee for some dessert. I've heard there's ways to grill babka slices (which would be awesome here, I think) or get a scoop of vanilla ice cream to go alongside. Lots of good possibilities here. If even half the mango stuff out there, in its own context, tasted as good as this babka does, there's no doubt that the Summer of Mango would have been a blockbuster.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's PB&J Bar

Trader Joe's isn't quite as adventurous with peanut butter and jelly as they are with say, oh I don't know, MANGO perhaps. But they have done some interesting things with the classic sandwich combination in the past, including Greek yogurt and chocolate bars. And quite frankly, this is by far the best PB&J product I've tried from TJ's thus far. Plus, it has the added benefit of being gluten free, by virtue of it being made with oats and oat flour instead of typical wheat flour.

Unlike the previously-mentioned PB&J chocolate bar, which featured raspberry jelly, TJ's went with strawberry jelly in this particular snack. I'm not sure what they have against good ol' grape, but strawberry has always been my second-place choice for pairing with peanut butter, and it totally works here. The bars flaunt a very nice balance of peanut butteriness and fruity jelly sweetness, although I wouldn't say they taste like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches precisely. I think using wheat flour and grape jelly might have helped push them in that direction. As they stand, there's a definite breakfast bar/cereal bar vibe about them—but I, for one, would certainly not hold that against them.

There's plenty of sugar in them, but if you're having them for breakfast like I am, it's easy to justify: you've got all day to burn it off. Plus, there's eight grams of whole grain in each serving and the ingredients look relatively natural and healthy to me, but then again, my English and film degrees didn't require a whole lot of food science courses...so when rambling on about the "healthiness" of various ingredients, I should always put forth the following disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm talking about. 

But my taste buds don't lie, and furthermore, I have a very sensitive system. And I can confidently state that these bars made me feel happy, energized, and properly-nourished. And yes, they're tasty. Not exactly like a PB&J, but certainly PB&J-inspired.

I give these bars four and a half stars. Four from Sonia, who adds that they're not too sweet and not too dry, although she wishes they made a version with almond butter instead of PB.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Kentucky Bourbon BBQ Sauce

Do I even have to say it?

Yes, it's 100% mango-free.

Thank God.

Trader Joe's Kentucky Bourbon BBQ Sauce has a lot of other things in it, though...namely, bourbon, which adds a nice earthy, smokey, maybe even slightly oaky little flavor flair. It's a little more noticeable in this saucy incarnation, then, say, the apple bourbon barbecue sauce. This particular baste-worthy bastion is also noticeably less sweet and more strongly BBQy than its applicious compadre. The ingredients list pineapple (not all that strong) and caramelized onions (oh yeah) as well as the usual spices that make a strong, layered, yet not overly complex sauce that was welcome to the wide spectrum of flavor palettes around our usual dinner table. Not too spicy, not too sweet, not too anything one way or another...instead it straddled the line just right for all.

Although we've only made pulled pork with it, I'm under the strong impression that this is a versatile enough sauce for a variety of needs. Burgers, ribs, chicken, fries...I just got a craving to start dunking a bunch of onion rings in here. We may have our summer sauce of choice right here. For $2.99 for a large bottle, it's an absolute must try.

You can check out the nutritional stats here.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Kentucky Bourbon BBQ Sauce: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Mango Mango Mochi

Just a little quickie here to jump start the week: TJ's Mango Mango Mochi. As if you haven't heard the word "mango" enough these past couple weeks, TJ's just had to squeak it into the title of this product not once, but TWICE. I guess it's because they use mango sorbet as well as mango jam filling. 

The jam doesn't really seem like a separate flavor to me at all—but it might add a hint of extra creaminess to the center of the mochi even when it's frozen solid. Otherwise, these are almost exactly like the Mango Mikawaya Mochi that Trader Joe's has carried for years. Now I'm not going to say this stuff is Mikawaya brand, because I couldn't tell you if that's the case for sure, but I will say that it's extremely similar in taste and texture. Actually, now that I think about it, Mikawaya is based in California and this product is imported from Thailand, according to the box. So...probably not Mikawaya.

This product has a great mango-esque flavor, but it is particularly sweet—which is totally fine by me, but then again, I do have a sweet tooth. Mochi and mango are generally a pretty good combo...well, okay, there was this one instance where they were a little goofy together. I'd probably still choose vanilla or strawberry flavor first, but by and large, mango and mochi are friends.

Mochi and mushroom, however...

Four stars from me. Sonia will go with three and a half.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Almondina Original Almond Biscuits

The good people at Almondina sent me a birthday present. It might have something to do with this fine blog we run here, but two packages of the low-fat cookies arrived in the mail about two weeks ago, and Sonia and I enjoyed them enough to allow them to join an extremely exclusive, elite group of non-Trader Joe's brand foods that have been reviewed here on our blog, including Espiral Vinho Verde Wine, Gum's the Word Sugar Free Gum, and Mikawaya Mochi Ice Cream. 

As was the case with the products in those previous posts, Almondina is widely available at Trader Joe's stores, although it's not sold exclusively there.

These thin, crunchy biscuits are clearly optimized for dunking in coffee, tea, milk, or what-have-you, but they also make a nice stand-alone snack. The texture is great. It's not unlike types of biscotti I've tried, but perhaps a little thinner and less rigid.

I'll be honest, the cookie part alone is decent, especially considering it's so low in fat, salt, and cholesterol, but it probably wouldn't have done it for me by itself. The true genius of these cookies is the way almonds and raisins are seamlessly woven into the fabric of the confection—in fact, almonds constitute a full 24% of the product, a fact that's easily believed just by visually inspecting the biscuits. The fruit, nut, and cookie elements blend together well and make for a highly versatile breakfast/snack/dunkable/dessert.

Sonia and I will both throw out solid fours for these tasty, low-guilt treats. "Really darn good" all the way.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tropical Mango Complete Salad Kit

No spouting some good solid theology or practical wisdom gleaned from a freezer waffle today. No cow-on-highway video either. Simple, straight up review today. We can't always be that impressive.

It's tough to beat a fresh, cool, crisp salad for a good summertime dinner. And this being the Summer of All That is Mango at your local TJ's, it'd stand to reason that some sort of fruit/veggie mash-up just might be in the offering. And so it came to pass with Trader Joe's Tropical Mango Complete Salad Kit.

Like others in the bagged salad lineup, for $4.99, you get a huge bag full of the usual leafy greens  (mainly arugula, spinach and baby lettuce) with some thin straw-slips of broccoli and carrots mixed in. Some other stuff like red cabbage tossed in too. All of that is the usual TJ's salad base, and as one would expect, fresh, crisp, and provides ample body while not being too other-worldly. No complaints.

But that's not why we're here, is it? Oh no, not at all....what are the mix-ins!?!?!? And the dressing!!! That's what makes a salad fun, otherwise it's sad rabbit food. The mix-ins here include: cashew bits, toasted coconut chips, and, of course, dried mango chunks. The mango tasted of the slightly sweetened/candified lot, which added a slight air of artificiality, though not offensively. The real stand-out was the coconut (you can't label anything as "tropical" unless there's coconut involved, it's one the amendments, I think), though...for any and all of those crunchy bits, the salad rocked when there was some in  my bite, but there wasn't enough. Get to work, Big Joe.

 Oh but the dressing...I'm not a salad dressing guy, usually. But the mango tamarind on here? AMAZING. Seriously. As the name implies, it's tangy, sweet, spicy, and vibrant...just try it. It needs to be sold by the bottle, and I mean like right now. It's almost certainly the best salad dressing I've ever had, in recent memory at least, and any attempt to further describe it would be doing it a disservice.

It's a huge salad, easily enough to for a couple adults to share for dinner, especially if some grilled chicken got tossed in. I'm not sure, but maybe some sort of mild goat cheese would probably pair well with it, if only an excuse to find a good bottle of wine as well. Look at me sounding so pseudo-fancy about bagged salad. Go me! Anyways, no hiuge complaints from either Sandy or I except: more mix-ins! And more dressing!!! Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Tropical Mango Complete Salad Kit: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's "this mango walks into a bar..." Cereal Bars

This past weekend was pretty cool. We did lots of hiking, biking, and camping. It kicked off with my birthday on Friday. And I'm getting to the age where I'm supposed to hate my birthdays because they're reminders of how old I am. But I still like them because they're good excuses to eat lots of yummy foods. 

Then on Saturday, Russ took the foodie blogosphere to a whole new level with what is undoubtedly the most eloquent, inspiring review of frozen waffles in the history of mankind. It seems a shame to follow it up with this mundane look at cereal bars. But in the end, not every breakfast food review can be a transcendent, life-changing experience I suppose. 

Also, I took video of a cow on the freeway with my phone and it wound up on the evening news. Then Sunday was Father's Day and I spent it taking a walk with my dad and picnicking in a nearby park. Good times all around.

Through it all, I was snacking on these "this mango walks into a bar" bars. I like them at least as much as their predecessors. See: strawberry/blueberry (complete with terrible "walks into a bar" jokes) and pumpkin varieties.

Texture-wise, they're exactly like the other flavors. The cereal-esque coating looks and tastes exactly the same. It's moist, it's bready, and it does what it's supposed to do—holds the fruit filling right in the middle of the bar.

And as far as the fruit filling goes, I was pretty impressed. It tastes like mango, it's significantly sweet, and there's plenty of it. Sonia thinks they're "not bad" and gives them three and a half stars, adding that she quickly got bored of them after her initial pleasant reaction. I see where she's coming from, but I think they're better than "not bad" and have to throw out four stars here, as I have with all previous incarnations of "walks into a bar."

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a huge fan of plain old caramel corn. But if you jazz it up a bit, I'll at least give it a try. And this product is sexified well beyond the status of standard snacking caramel corn.

I'll admit, Sonia was way more excited about trying this than I was. To say I was skeptical would be an understatement. But this is possibly the best caramel corn I've ever had. 

It's still not my favorite style of junk food, but the flavor of this popcorn is really, really interesting. Both Sonia and I agree it tastes way more like coconut than mango. You kind of have to use your imagination to even detect mango flavor.

Although, it just dawned on us that we're already going through some form of mango overload. We've both tried about six of these new mango products now—and we're worried that our taste buds require greater and greater doses of the tropical treat. A similar phenomenon occurs with pumpkin each fall. But this is week 1, year 1 of the mango madness marathon. Not sure if we can go the distance on this one if we're already requiring increased quantities of the juicy Asian stone fruit.

But perhaps a more likely explanation is that this product simply doesn't taste that much like mango. And that's not a bad thing. The title of the product is a bit misleading, but we'll forgive Big Joe for that one. Because it's delicious anyway. The last product we reviewed was heavy on the mango, and not nearly as heavy as I would have liked it to be in the coconut department. Well, dear old Mr. Coconut has gotten his revenge with this caramel corn. It's just like regular caramel corn, texture-wise, but it tastes just like coconut. There's still a good bit of that sweet, traditional, caramel flavor, too—but who'd have guessed it would blend so well with coconut flavor?

In all seriousness, there is a whisper of mango as well, particularly at the finish. It's just very subtle. And that's all it needs to be here.

In summary, if you like caramel corn and coconut, this just might be your new favorite food. Four stars from me. Four and a half from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

It's freakin' June already. Which is fine, I guess. June is good enough of a month. One of the highlights of June (other than no longer being subjected to Alexander Ovechkin's ugly mug since his season is long done, as is usual by now) is <insert drumroll effect>...it's officially iced coffee season!

When it's hot, hot coffee just makes it stickier than it has to be. But you can't just give up coffee. And please...iced coffee is not just regular coffee with ice in it. I've tried doing that, and the results are diluted murky brown tepid water. Nah, you gotta go cold brew to do this properly. Some people, by the wizardry of either French presses or cheesecloths, claim it's simple to make your own cold brew batches. Others, like me, think it's easier to shell out $3 or $4 for a large cupful. That obviously gets spendy quickly. So, for the MYO-inept crowd who would to enjoy some cold caffeine while saving a couple bucks, things like Trader Joe's Organic French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate seem like a good enough of a deal. $9.99 seems like an okay enough price to swallow for at least eight cups, right?

What's not easy to swallow: if you get the proportions wrong. Sandy preferred to mix her coffee in with some almond milk "beverage" (as pictured - as a bonus you can watch it swirl around!) while I did mine straight up with water. Either liquid worked fine, but if the ratio was even the smidgiest of smidges off the 2:1 balance of liquid base to coffee concentrate...ugh. Either it tasted a watery mess if too weak, or like motor oil if too strong. Speaking of motor oil: Don't bother taking a sip of it straight on. I tried in the name of science. It was a bad idea. The bottle says there's over half a pound of beans used in making this...yeah, it definitely tastes like that. Woo.

Other than that: Yes. I haven't tried TJ's other cold brew concoction to make a direct comparision, but as would be expected for French roast, this is a darker, heavier, fairly robust roast. In some ways, this is a great thing for iced coffee, because the stronger potency would withstand the inevitable ice meltoff a little better. I'm pretty happy drinking it black, while Sandy was happy enough with the taste that I think she skipped adding any sugar to hers....she may have snuck in some flavored creamer though (ugh).

Sandy and I were able to get plenty enough cups out of it to make our ten buck investment seem just about worth it. Sadly, there was a cup or two we ended up dumping and redoing, because of measurements being a little off, and by trying to fix things, we somehow made them even worse. That's really the only demerit here - if there could be somehow just be a little more built-in grace, that'd be great. Also, we're really not sure why it costs an extra $2 over its lighter, more normal counterpart...eh well. Different roast, and organic, sure, but still.

Enjoy an icy glass as the summer starts up. Or try it Ovechkin-style - no cup. In any case, this cold caffeinited concentrated concoction could be your summer sipper of choice.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons