Trader Joe's Rainbow Wrap

Taste the rainbow, friends. Other than Skittles, this is probably the most colorful thing I've eaten in a while. Actually, I haven't had Skittles in years. This might be one of the most colorful things I've eaten period. Let's see: we've got red beets, orange sweet potato, yellow hummus and chick peas, green spinach, and a purplish tortilla. What? No blue? No indigo?

Whether Roy G. Biv approves or not, this is a great lunch for a hot summer day. It feels and tastes fresh, and it won't weigh you down too much. There are plenty of savory and earthy flavors here, and the sweet potato lends just enough natural sugar to keep it interesting.

The beets weren't overly beety. They're not pickled, so they simply lend a bit of earthy crunch to the mix. The curried hummus was flavorful but not overbearing. The chick peas? I've mentioned how I feel about chick peas before. If anything, I'd just ask for more of 'em.

Sonia wanted the sweet potato chunks to be just a tad softer than they were. They were much firmer than either of us expected, but unlike my loving wife, I was okay with it. They were somewhere between the texture of a water chestnut and that of a chunk of regular potato in a potato salad. We both see why they might want them that way—the wrap may have seemed a tad "soggy" if the sweet potatoes had been too soft. As is, they provide a little body and texture, and contribute the most "meatiness" of any of the ingredients.

Granted, we had some other snacks along with it, but just this one wrap was enough for Sonia and I to share for lunch, and it was quite filling. We're eating less and less meat these days, and feeling better about it all the time. This vegan item is $4.49 at TJ's. Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Butter Spreads

Must be butter because we're on a roll.

Butter. What else can be said? Whether or not any of us really should, we all like butter in some way, shape or form. It's an essential ingredient, and makes almost anything taste better. I mean, dry toast? No thanks.

Flavored butter? Even better. So here we go with two new varieties, Trader Joe's Roasted Garlic & Herb Butter Spread, as well as Trader Joe's Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Butter Spread. One savory, one sweet. Life is good.

There's not much reinvention or novel interpretation here. It's butter...with stuff in it.

But man, both are good. Let's start with the roasted garlic and herb. There's a heavy hit of garlic right upfront, as one would expect, with both roasted and crushed garlic puree mixed right in. The overall creaminess mellows it out, though, and gives way to onion and basil and whatnot. That's really about it to the butter, but the applications, of course, are endless. It's garlicky enough to McGyver garlic bread if toasted with an appropriate loaf. Over noodles, rice, veggies, anything else...yup, that'd all work.

Much the same with the cinnamon sugar variety. "Cinnamon toast without the effort!" Sandy exclaimed. I'm...not really sure what effort she is referencing. Nonetheless, that's a great idea, although the idea of melting over some sweet potatoes is a pretty enticing idea. I'd say there seems to be more cinnamon than brown sugar, at least in the bites I've had, but the balance seems right. I mean, butter, sugar, cinnamon...there's no way this can be bad.

Both TJ's flavored butters are pretty decent, and for $2.49, not a bad price either. There's nothing too terribly extra special or "Trader Joe's-y" about them either, so I'm not going to rave too highly. Liking the ampersands in both product names, though - they seem to be making a comeback, and I fully support that effort. Fours all the way around for each.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Roasted Garlic & Herbs Butter Spread, and Trader Joe's Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Butter Spread: 8 out of 10 each

Trader Joe's Crunch Dried Honeycrisp Apples

Our sweetness streak continues with this applicious snack, but in this case, there's absolutely no added sugar, and you definitely can't say we're not getting some fruit in our diets...

I've had apple chips before, but none have been as sweet or as flavorful as these. The Fuji Apple Slices received less than a stellar score here on the blog, but I think this honeycrisp variety might work slightly better for people craving something a little more sweet and a bit less tart. 

They flaunt the same delicious honey-esque flavor of a honeycrisp apple. Very little is lost in the drying process. Obviously they lack the juiciness of a real apple, but taste-wise, I think they're remarkably close.

The largest apple slices were big enough to be called "chips," but as we neared the middle of our bag, the pieces were more like "shards" of apple. Toward the bottom, we found what I'd probably refer to as "bits" or "crumbs." They were pulverized, presumably in transit, to the point where they became difficult to eat. 

That's really my only complaint about this product: only the largest pieces could be called "slices" or "chips," and those were by far the best. Pouring a bag of apple dust into your mouth isn't nearly as convenient as snacking on dried fruit chips.

The texture is crunchy, crisp, and brittle. They're less rigid than, say, banana chips, but slightly firmer than other dried apple chips in my experience.

Who says you have to wait for fall apple harvest to enjoy apples? I'm pretty sure this product was just released this spring. Even in light of the shattered pieces, I'd buy this bag of dried apples again since it's tasty and not particularly fattening. Also, the "Best By" date on our bag is October 24, 2020. Might not be a bad idea to stock up in case that long overdue zombie apocalypse finally occurs.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies

Sorry, everyone...but apparently we're on a sugar high here. Nothing but desserty-esque goodness for review last week, and here we go again. It's a one way ticket to Diabeetusville here. Please see Wilfred Brimley for your box on your way out.

One of these days we'll go back to reviewing salads and some healthyish type kinda stuff like vegan cream cheese alternatives...but not today. Not when there's Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies to talk about.

Give me peanut butter, or give me death. I'm a total complete junky. I could go all Hurley from "Lost" on a jarful at any time...and cookies? Forget about it. I'm helpless here.

Really helps these are some most excellent pb cookies from TJ's.

These particular cartwheely confections are unlike most peanut butter cookies I've had. Instead of just fork smashed flavored batter with or without chips, the approach here is a literal resorvoir of nutty goodness. I mean, look at the pic. Yummm. It's good peanut butter too, though perhaps admittedly perhaps a bit closer to JIF than the real high quality stuff. Then again, it's a cookie, and at least it's creamy and not too dry or anything of that sort.

All of that is enveloped inside a real good, crumbly cookie. At first bite, I wasn't sure if the cookie straddled the sugar or shortbread side of the line at first before settling more towards sugar cookie. But it blends nicely with the peanut butter portion for a smooth, strong distinct pb taste.

Therein may lie my only suggestion, as it's not a complaint, per se. But TJ's cartwheels seem perhaps a little "one note" if you know what I mean. Something small to add maybe a little texture distinction, like a smattering of chopped peanuts, would be a welcome addition.

These will be a hit. Sandy and I are a bit sad that there's only nine cookies per box, as we both could smash them all in one sitting. As is, one of us will get five and the other four, assuming we can keep our kids out of them. Sharing cookies? Who does that? No one on this sugar train, for sure. Darn near perfect cookies.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies

Just earlier today, Sandy was saying she wished I wrote for an ice cream blog, like say On Second Scoop, just so we could have a valid excuse to have a neverending stockpile of ice cream on hand.

Me? I sure am happy for our little TJ's blog, because without it, I'd never have a great reason to pick up a sack of Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies.

But it doesn't stop there.

Nope, because if I never bought them, I'd never get the sneaking suspicion that were a lot like a more famous brand, like say Flamin' Hot Cheetos, but would be unsure as to the exact differences, and so purely in the best interests of my audience would also have to get those Flamin' Hots for direct comparision's sake. You know, for entertainment and science, and not just to mindlessly eat spicy cornmeal nuggets because yummmm.

See the pic here. I'm sorry, it's a sucky one, because I took it with my potato phone. On the left is the aforementioned FHC's, on the right is the newcomer TJ's. Visibly, they're different - the Flamers are decidedly more red and fierce looking. Must be all those artifical colors noticeably absent from the Trader Joe's spicy crunchers...score one for TJ's.

Once popped in the ol' snack hole, there's a few other fairly small differences. The spicy cheese crunchers from TJ's are a tad bit drier, it seems, from their Cheetos counterparts. There's a smidge less grease to them. This leads me to believe that the TJ's brand is baked as opposed to fried like Cheetos, and seeing that TJ's has 40 less calories and 5 grams less fat per identical 28 gram serving, I may be on to something.

But really, taste. That's what it all comes down to. Which one's better? It's...tough to say. The Cheetos seem more focused on vibrant spice and heat (if not a little on the vinegary side) whereas the TJ's is...different. Maybe slightly more cheesy. Maybe slightly less hot and more range of flavor (like garlic, turmeric, etc). Maybe, as Sandy said, more of a "tomatoey" flavor, by which neither one of us is precisely sure what she means, but there's something to it. In all, it's kinda subtle.

My three year old loves the TJ's spicy cheese crunchers. She'd melt after one Flamin' Hot Cheeto. So, there's that.

Anyways, if totally junky kinda grub like this is your kinda thing, grab a bag of the TJ's crunchies for only a couple bucks. I wouldn't proclaim them as "healhty" but they are "healthier" than the competition, and are of approximate quality. Admittedly and somewhat ashamedly I kinda like them both...slight edge to TJ's. Thanks for allowing me to eat these, my adoring fans!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Blueberry Lavender Flavored Almond Beverage

Our house is over 100 years old.

On the exterior, it's all brick, and on the inside it's all drywall or plaster. For years and years, nearly a century, that's all there was, until Sandy and I moved in. Our first winter was frigid cold with arctic wind blowing right thru the walls. I'm not joking.

So we got an insulation job done, whole house, spray in type stuff. Our heating bill has been cut by two-thirds. It's awesome...but there's a flipside.

It's summer, or at least getting there. We have no AC, and with our Therm/os-fied house, once heat gets in, it stays in. It's not uncommon for it to be cooler outside the house than inside, and even with open windows and fans, only so much can be done. Next few months are gonna be extra sticky.

So, naturally, let's get a nice refreshing glass of milk. Ron Burgundy cringes.

But in the case of Trader Joe's Blueberry Lavender Flavored Almond Beverage, it kinda works.

Sandy and I are not big milk drinkers, dairy or nut alternative. We're just not. Our kids are another story. But there's just something tasty and appealing about this kinda almond milk. Just sounds good, doesn't it?

Blueberry is definitely the predominant flavor. It's fairly natutral-ish, though. There's no excessive sickeningly sweet added sugar that artifically ramps up the flavor in this TJ's blueberry almond milk...nah, just a small touch of blueberry that plays well off the natural nuttiness of the milk. I don't taste much lavender, though. There really tastes to be not much more than a small, small touch, if even that. Maybe my tastebuds aren't quite senstive enough, or perhaps I'm a bit clueless, but there doesn't seem to be much there, which is my only real knock.

The consistency of the berry almond milk is much like any other almond beverage - thre word "chalky" comes to mind. "Smooth" and "creamy" are definite overstatements in my opinion...I mean, it's not gritty by any means but there's a certain slight chunkiness to it that takes getting used to if not accustomed to it, as with any other nut beverage.

Blending some up with ice and yogurt for a smoothie sounds fantastic. Adding much else, even a banana, would probably overpower a lot of the subtle berry flavor.

We let our kids have some straight up. M, our almost six year old, immediately exclaimed "Oooo this is yummy!" and prompty gave it 10 Golden Spoons. She's well trained. B, our three year old, smiled happily and made her own big "mmmm" before saying it was good for "5 Golden Spoons, then a lot." That sounds pretty postive. Sandy also exclaimed it was a hit, making it very popular in our hot, hot house. I'll defer mostly to the ladies here, while adding I'm glad it's only $2 for the quart as I'm sure it'll be a repeat buy.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Blueberry Lavender Flavored Almond Beverage: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices

I'm a guy in his mid-30's, but I'll freely admit it: I like my emojis. I won't go too overboard with them, I don't think. I mean, I'm not going to try and write the rest of this review using just them, or narrate my day, or do whatever else kids do with them these days, but I'll let them slip into my every day text conversations with my wife, in my emails and whatnot.

One thing I don't like, though, is how sometimes they don't technologically translate across different platforms. Take, for instance, when Sandy sent me an email from her iPhone to my work email stating she had just tried Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices for the first time. What I got on my side, on some old Windows platform in Outlook (I'm not even sure if it's XP) was this grim-looking dull face with large eyes that were maybe crying, maybe horrified, or just getting poofy after being stung by a bee. Not sure what it was at all, but I took it as something bad, which to me wouldn't be unexpected after trying a sour mummified citric corpse slice, peel and all.

Nope. It was the hearts for eyes, big smile deal. As in, totally in love.

I'm not entirely sure that's my instinctive reaction, but I think I can muster a thumbs up overall. The package front of these zombie lemon discs say they are "moist" and "sweet." Those don't seem like entirely accurate descriptors to me. These TJ lemon slices are definitely dried out, with nary a drop of anything to be squeezed out. Robert Plant would probably be proud. But when biting through, there's still a softness and certain gumminess to them, that makes seem almost like candy. The candy vibe is kinda picked up by the added sugar which seems to accent the natural lemon flavor without going too overboard and getting too cloy.

What's kinda missing is the big, tart, citrusy bite one would expect from a lemon. Maybe that's contained more or less in the absent juice. Then again, these are fairly snackable as is, and could have multiple applications that a stronger flavor may not have. I could just as easily see these lemon slices as a garnish for a dessert - something creamy and/or had a fair amount of frosting comes to mind - as I could for simple summer salads, and maybe dishes like grilled chicken and veggies as well.

It's a decent sized package and seems a good value at about $3 for the bag. There's plenty to go around in there. These will be probably be a summer-long repeat-buy. Kinda can't wait to try them alongside some iced tea. So, perhaps in short: 🏜️🍋🔪😃👍 💵. Now it's just ⏰ for the 🥄s.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Mint Watermelon Flavored Black Tea

Nothing says middle aged suburban peer pressure in the spring and summer than the distant drone of a lawnmower. If the neighbor's yard is mowed, yours has gotta be too. Once you hear one, you'll hear at least three more, guaranteed, in the next hour.

I literally have not had a chance to mow mine all spring long - too cold, too wet, too busy, too something - until this past Wednesday night. Yeah, it was so bad I had to attack it midweek, after work, before dinner. Kept losing the dog in the thicket. And of course, all my neighbors had already, so mine I was busting it out as quick as I could, pushing thru kneehigh grass, raking, sweating, feeling gross, had to get done before it got too late, with storms threatening to roll in so extra humid...ugh.

Fortunately, Sandy made a fresh batch of iced Trader Joe's Mint Watermelon Flavored Black Tea earlier that afternoon. Doesn't that sound like summer in a glass? And my longstanding "refreshment benchmark" is how cooling and pleasant a beverage is once I'm done mowing the lawn, so here was a perfect chance.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

"Mint" and "watermelon" do not sound like natural flavor bedfellows to me. I hold both flavors in close to equal regard...but together? Potential chocolate gum theory application here. But nah, it works. Seems to me it's because both flavors are a very light, natural kinda of flavor, at least when unsweetened. The mint could have been bubblegummy, the watermelon could have been Kool Aid-y, but nope. Just light and crisp, with both flavors about equally present and wellbalanced, while backed by the usual steeped tinge of black tea.

This tea is some pretty good stuff. There's no sticky-sweet aftertaste, no artifical sugar crud, nothing along those lines at all. And yet I feel no need to guzzle it either. A good glassful is about all that's really needed.

Sandy and I didn't try it hot. We probably won't until temps are on the way down, not the way up. My instinct is that it wouldn't be as good as a steamy mug, but I've been wrong. You tell me if I'm wrong.

Count us as fans. Here's one tea worthy of a neighborhood-wide buzz.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mint Watermelon Flavored Black Tea: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Just a Handful of Olives Pitted Salted Manzanilla Olives

Ah, it's springtime, and the forsythias are blooming again. Who knew forsythia bushes yielded green olives? Not this guy, that's for sure. Fun fact: they don't actually. But we put these manzanillas there anyway, because, you know...pretty picture.

I hablo enough of the Español to know that "manzana" means "apple." So I figured "manzanilla" might mean apple...something or other. Applicious? Probably not if they're salted. I didn't really think that one through.

Actually, "manzanilla" translates to "chamomile." Do these happy, snackable olives taste like chamomile? You'll just have to watch our short video review to find out.



Closing thoughts: are olives fruits or vegetables? Technically, they're fruits, but for culinary purposes, they're treated as veggies, so I tagged them as both. 4.5 from Sonia. 4 from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's 4 Authentic Belgian Waffles

What's your breakfasty carb of choice?

Speaking solely for myself, it's gotta be potattoes. Hashbrowns are king. But sweet potatoes mixed in with some eggs, cheese and salsa...mmm.

But for my fam as a whole? Undoubtably it's waffles. A freezer waffle on the go is a busy weekday morning breakfast of choice for our kiddos. There's a place within easy walking distance of our house that started a weekly waffle brunch every Saturday, and if we're in town, we're there. My brother and his wife even throw a fancy homemade "Wafflepalooza" every year complete with mountains of almost every kind of homemade waffle and topping imaginable.

So...we know our waffles.

And of course, waffles aren't just for breakfast anyways. Like with what we did with Trader Joe's 4 Authentic Belgian Waffles when we used them as a base for an open faced ham/cheese/egg sandwich for dinner. Okay, that's like breakfast for dinner, so kinda cheating...but nah.

Perhaps this is just recency bias, as we almost literally just ate them, but I cannot think of a better frozen waffle I've had in quite some time. These Beglain boys are a bit thick to fit in our toaster, so instead Sandy heated them up in our oven for a few minutes, which of course worked just as well if not even better. The outcome: hefty, square doughy grids with a crisp outer shell giving way to a warm, almost creamy interior. There's a slight sweetness to the batter which plays well with the buttery aspects. Really, it's a surprisingly decent Belgian waffle, and although a serving says two waffles, really one is reasonably enough.

And there's no way to argue it's not an authentic Belgian waffle either. They're right from Belgium, not some Belgian style imposter by way of Vancouver or something silly.

 Sandy and I were pleasantly surprised by how overall decent these waffles were. And remember: we're waffle people. Our two little waffle experts weren't as impressed, though. Might have something to do with the rest of dinner (eggs are give or take) or whatever...I'm sure if we scooped ice cream atop or covered with fruit and whipped cream or did any number of other tasty waffle options that they'd be much more amenable.

These are worthy waffles to be freezer staples. Can't believe we've not had them til now. Deeeee-lish.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's 4 Authentic Belgian Waffles: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons  

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p.s. Perhaps appropriate this week while also on the topic of waffles. 

Trader Joe's Garlic Spread Dip

"Garlic ambrosia."

That's how reader Justine described this spread.

No, not fruit salad with marshmallows, ambrosia. Ambrosia, as in the food of the gods, ambrosia. Lemme tell ya, she's not wrong. And, as reader DogMaTX pointed out, it's very similar—if not identical—to the garlic spread from Zankou Chicken. Thanks to both of you for the heads up on this product. I feel like at least one other reader brought this to our attention on our Facebook page, as well.

It's a creamy, smooth condiment that spreads like mayo or cream cheese. I'd say the texture is right in between those two, in fact: slightly thicker than mayo, slightly thinner than cream cheese.

And it doesn't fail in the flavor department either. It's garlicky—very garlicky, but simultaneously not overpowering somehow. Where raw garlic brings a heavy staccato "punch" of garlic flavor, this spread causes a gentle "wave" of garlic to wash over your tongue. It's just as powerful, but there's a little bit more of that "mmmm" factor and a wee bit less of that "whoa!" effect.

It's strong enough that you don't need to use a ton on your food, but at the same time, if you do choose to slather it on in great quantity, it still enhances the other flavors and doesn't bury them completely. We had it with tuna sandwiches, pizza, and falafel. I know it will go well with chips, chicken, fish, and other Mediterranean dishes, too. Can't wait to experiment with it. It's a fine addition to TJ's legacy of delicious condiments.

$2.99 for the tub. Vegan. Four and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Yellow Jackfruit Curry with Jasmine Rice

Apparently I don't know jackfruit.

You probably knew that already.

My wife certainly does, bless her heart. So I was really kinda curious when she was trying to tell me that some people consider jackfruit to be kinda like a vegan pulled prok kinda deal. On the surface, that sounds kinda ludicrous to me. How can a plant be meatlike? Pssh, sounds like other crazy stuff she tries to tell me, like that Tupperware has a particular place and organizational method for storage. Yeah, right.

Anyways, in another attempt to yank my coworkers' chains, I picked up Trader Joe's Yellow Jackfruit Curry with Jasmine Rice for an at-desk lunch this week. This would have to do it, right? C'mon now.

Mission failed. No raised eyebrows. No mention of anything. Everyone was too nosedeep in gossip and TPS reports, I s'pose. 

At least I got a pretty good lunch out of it.

So...is jackfruit kinda like pulled pork?

Tough for my admitted carnivoresque self to say. Visually, I can somewhat see the similarity here - there's kinda a stringy, chunky look. In this curry's instance, though, the jackfruit gets a little lost amongst the rice. There's a soft chewy feel here and there, but not really the fleshy bite. Kinda the difference between pig and plant, I suppose.

As for the rest of the dish? Delish. Somewhat unlike the jarred TJ's yellow curry sauce, the curry here definitely has a sizable, decided kick. As in, at first, it's pretty spicy...probably about an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. Took me by surprise at first, but once accustomed to it, the curry heat took on more of a pleasant, sustained warmth. There's a little layered aspect too - I wouldn't necessarily say complex but there's some sweetness from the coconut base, the mentioned spice, and a healthy dose of turmeric as well. The only real relief from it is the few biggish bites of eggplant here and there that the curry sauce doesn't really sink into. There's something about the bell peppers that makes it kick up a notch.

Altogether, I'll admit I was pretty pleasantly surprised by the overall wholesome goodness of this curryous dish. It was no more than a couple bucks for the tray which took about five minutes in the microwave - I would have expected (and been reasonably happy with) paying for something of similar quality from a restaurant. It's all there - good flavor, good heat, good firm rice. And it's all good enough that I want to try and make my own now, too - apparently there's a canned jackfruit TJ's sells for just this purpose? I'd be down. Sandy wasn't quite brave enough to try it herself yet, but probably will now. I'm just gonna go go out on my own here and give it some double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Yellow Jackfruit Curry with Jasmine Rice: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Tempura Shrimp

Bubba never mentioned shrimp tempura—and boy, was he missing out.

I've always loved shrimp, fried, steamed, or otherwise, and I've always loved tempura anything. So there are plenty of things stacked in favor of this product right off the bat.

There's also one big thing I have against it, even before tasting it: the price. At $7.99, this product ranks right up there with the most expensive things we've ever bought from Trader Joe's. I'm not saying it's not a good value. I'm just saying that it takes a lot to get that much money out of me for a single product at the grocery store. In other words, I'm cheap. When compared to a restaurant, of course, the price is more than reasonable—and these shrimp are most definitely restaurant-quality.

They're huge, farm-raised, and tasty as can be—not fishy in the slightest. We baked ours in the oven, followed the directions pretty closely, and they came out just about perfect. The tempura is good, too, although, I'd say it's a bit thicker here than most tempura products I've tried. I've only ever had tempura as a very thin, crispy outer layer. In this case, the tempura is crisp on the outside, but there's enough of it that there's almost a doughy layer in between the crispness and the shrimp. It's not so thick or soft that it's off-putting in any way. It's just not quite what I'm used to.

The sauce is simply a sweet soy sauce—basically what you'd get if you dumped a bunch of sugar into those ubiquitous packets from Asian restaurants. And there's TONS of it. I'm generally a gluttonous condiment hog, and there have been dozens of TJ's products throughout the years that were super-skimpy on dipping sauces. Not here. There are two large packets where just one would most likely have sufficed. If I had it to do over, I would have only opened the first one and saved the other for leftover rice and veggie dumplings from our next Asian take-out run. Oh well. Live and learn, as they say.

There are ten shrimp in the pack. Three work well as a single serving. They're quite filling and satisfying, and definitely not wanting as far as quality is concerned. The price tag alone will prevent this from being a regular purchase in our home, but if I ever get a particular craving for shrimp, I have a feeling this product will quickly come to mind. Sonia enjoyed them, too, but I don't think she's quite as big a shrimp-o-phile as her hubby. Three and a half stars from her. Four from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cream Cheese Brioche Pastries

"Mornings are made for coffee and contemplation."

You can't argue with that, and you don't mess around with Jim.

Wise words, though. I love the mornings where Sandy and I have a chance to share a cup of coffee together before embarking on the crushing madness of the day. Keeps us centered as a couple, I think. It's good stuff.

And sometimes you need a good bite to go along with it. For $2.99, why not try Trader Joe's Cream Cheese Brioche Pastries for an at-home treat?

These breakfasty buns have easy written all over them. As the box states, they're prebaked but come frozen, so there's two prep options. First is to bake on low heat in the oven until warm (but not toasty!), the second is to let sit at room temp for a spell to warm up.

Since there's two pastries....we tried both ways!

There was a demonstrable better quality to the oven prep method. The box states 325 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes, but I pulled them out a little earlier. Perfect. The outside bread shell got just the right amount of toasty and gave way to a warm, softly sweet and doughy inside. Almost total carby comfort, topped off with a rich sweet cream cheese custard type deal on top. Think of the normal cheese danish type filling, and that's pretty close...and there's a lot of it, too. Yum.

If going for defrost at room temp, maybe give it a little longer than the box calls for. We started consuming at about the instructed 45 to 60 minutes, and while everything still tasted about the same, there was a still a cool clamminess to most of the bun. That definitely had a damper on the overall appeal.

Regardless, these make a nice breakfast treat. My only real complaint is that they're a bit big. I mean, instead of two mega-buns, four smaller ones might have done the trick better, especially with the serving size being half a big bready brioche. Other than that, worth a shot for sure, and better than Eggos for breakfast.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cream Cheese Brioche Pastries: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Falafel Mix

It's been seven freaking years since our review of Trader Joe's Heat & Eat Falafel. Seven years. Goodness.

I'll spare you the spiel about how and when I discovered falafel since I covered that in the previous review. Suffice it to say that I like it, and both Sonia and I thoroughly enjoyed Trader Joe's frozen falafel offering. So how does this mix n' fix variety square up? Read on.

Shelf-stable and affordable at just $2.99 for the whole package, this mix can mix it up with the best of them in my humble opinion. The spice level was just about right, and at least when fried, the texture isn't quite perfect, but close enough to justify featuring this product as the centerpiece of a Middle Eastern or Mediterranean meal, as well as repeat purchases in the near future.

Check out the pic of the mix just by itself (left).

 When something looks this much like sawdust, my expectations automatically go down. Not necessarily because it will, in fact, taste like sawdust, but because my overactive, neurotic brain will insist that it is sawdust. Fortunately, the next step—the "just add water" step (right)—looks slightly less like sawdust and more like a gritty, hummussy paste, and the final step after frying looks shockingly like normal falafel.

I feel like the product is just a little more inclined to fall apart while being eaten than other types of falafel, but if it's being served in a pita, that's really not an issue. We had it with pita bread, this excellent Trader Joe's brand tzatziki sauce, and some hummus. It's satisfying and filling, and it's got a nice nutty flavor. Of course, when fried, the extra olive oil helps out with the taste.
 

We did try making a batch in the oven, too. It's nothing to complain about, and it's a little less calorific that way, although you do have to coat them with oil before baking them. I'm sure they pick up significantly more oil when fried. Frying them also improves the structural integrity of the product somewhat. From the oven, it's just a tad too dry for my taste.

Both preparation methods involved a one hour period for the mixture to set. Sonia thinks the frying would have been a lot simpler with a deep fat fryer, while she simply made them in the skillet.

Sonia insists these turned out better than the aforementioned heat and eat style falafel. I think I liked the heat and eat ones just a mite bit more than these, but we both agree that this product is a better value overall, making three large batches of about nine falafel balls each. The box claims there are nine servings of three balls each. Our serving sizes tended to be larger than just three falafel balls—we ate four or five in a single sitting, but there are easily, at minimum, four to six meals-worth of falafel in the package, even for larger appetites.

Five stars from Sonia. Four stars from me.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vegan Kale, Cashew & Basil Pesto

I've never been a huge fan of pesto. I was never sure why. Something about the flavor just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. And I've often been told by readers that I'm not allowed to review foods that I don't already appreciate because my score will be unfairly biased against the product.

But this product is a prime example of why I still try foods that I "know" I don't like. In this case, like so many others, the devil was in the details. I never bothered looking at the ingredients of traditional pesto. Usually, there are pine nuts. And I hate pine nuts. To be fair, if Trader Joe's ever offers a bag of plain pine nuts, I'll refrain from reviewing those—unless it's some new species of pine nuts or ones coated in wasabi or cookie butter or something crazy like that. 

Cue the reader comments that tell me TJ's does offer a bag of plain pine nuts. And a version where they're covered in wasabi. Wouldn't surprise me. Readers, we love your comments. But anyway, I digress.

The point is that this product employs cashews instead of pine nuts. And I like cashews. And that makes all the difference in the world to me. I mean, the product doesn't taste a lot like cashews per se—I just prefer them as an ingredient to pine nuts. Also, I'm not sure that most pesto contains kale...and I like kale, too. The texture is like a mushy vegetable puree. It's thick, soft, and spreadable.

I'd eat this stuff on pasta, potatoes, sandwiches, crackers, pita, or even as a chip dip. Sonia liked it enough that it inspired another short video review. $3.69 for the tub. Four stars a piece.

 

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Infuse Spirits Broken Barrel Bourbon

"Are you having fun?"

"I'm having bourbon," replied Jessica Jones.

Ah, the power of suggestion. I'm not sure if everyone's like this, but Sonia and I have noticed that any time we see someone eating or drinking a particular type of food or beverage on TV or in a movie, we instantly get cravings for said food or beverage. We see Seinfeld at the Chinese restaurant, we want Chinese. We see Kevin order pizza while he's home alone, we want pizza. We see hobbits with pint glasses at the Prancing Pony, we want ale. 

Case in point: Jessica Jones Season Two on Netflix. She drinks bourbon/whiskey like it's water. Neither of us could ever chug 95 proof the way JJ does, but the ubiquitous presence of the spirit on the show finally got to us. The combination of us binge-watching this latest addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the advent of St. Patrick's Day led us to crave some good, old-fashioned barrel-aged bourbon. 

As fate should have it, just in the nick of time, we discovered this: the smoothest whiskey we've ever had—not that either of us is a connoisseur exactly. Just like any other product we find at TJ's, we're not subjecting the product to 50 points of intangible criteria or reading about what some whiskey snob says about it. We're simply listening to our taste buds and perhaps measuring the product against other comparable offerings we've tried from other brands. 

And virtually every other American whiskey I've ever had went down kinda funky. And when I say "funky," I mean there was almost a chemical kind of flavor either in the body or the aftertaste, along with an unpleasant burning sensation in my sinuses. Those other brands were fine when mixed with a cup of egg nog or coffee or...basically anything else, but when served neat or on the rocks, they were pert near unpalatable to me. Not this.

This is the first time I've truly enjoyed a whiskey as a stand-alone beverage, and I've tried a number of major brands of bourbon and other American whiskeys. Now don't get me wrong, this beverage has a kick to it—but it goes down super easily. There are hints of sherry and a distinct and pleasant woody, oaky flavor here, no doubt from the French and American "broken oak staves" mentioned on the bottle. The color is a nice caramel brown, and I'd swear I taste something caramel-esque in there as well.

$29.99 for 750ml. We should also mention that as of now, this Infuse Spirits brand product is apparently only available at select Trader Joe's in California, although you might be able to track it down in other wine and spirits stores throughout the country. Sonia was recently back in her native SoCal for family reasons and well...she's a sucker for nice packaging. She raved about the presentation of the bottle as she proudly exhibited it to me. I must admit, it's impressive—stately, even...much like the taste of the bourbon.

Four and a half stars a piece.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cauliflower Tabbouleh

Despite my familiarity and affinity for most Middle Eastern cuisines, I've only had tabbouleh once before sampling this cauliflowerized version from Trader Joe's. I remember liking it all right but not becoming obsessed with it like I did chicken shawarma. Nevertheless, the "Levantine vegetarian salad" is very popular among various Middle Eastern cuisines, and is nearly as ubiquitous as shawarma, pita, and hummus in ethnic restaurants here in the US.

I like traditional tabbouleh just a little more than this offering from Trader Joe's, but not for the reasons you might assume. The primary difference between this tabbouleh and one you might find at your local Lebanese restaurant is that they've substituted bulgur wheat with cauliflower, rendering a product that is not only vegan, but also gluten-free. As a result, the taste is slightly less nutty—less bready, if you will. But both Sonia and I agree that the cauliflower affects the texture of the tabbouleh significantly more than the flavor. The whole dish is soft and wet to begin with, and if anything, the cauliflower makes it softer—but it also lends a sogginess to it that might be off-putting to some.

The flavor is nice and fresh, citrusy, and subtly oniony. This dish reminds me very much of pico de gallo, but with cold riced cauliflower mixed in. And like pico de gallo, this tabbouleh can be used with Mexican dishes as well as Mediterranean ones, or it could simply be served with tortilla chips as an appetizer. Tell your guests it's "Mexican-Middle Eastern Fusion," even if it's just because you didn't have pita bread on hand.

That brings me to my next point: like pico de gallo, this product is full of raw tomatoes. I don't remember the tabbouleh I tried long ago containing so many pieces of tomato, but I guess it must have, since they're one of the main ingredients in almost any tabbouleh recipe. I'm not a huge fan of raw tomato, and I'm sure I'd have appreciated the flavor a little more if there weren't so many in there. I did my best to eat around them and pick them out and give them to Sonia the tomatophile, who was happy to gobble them up by themselves or mixed in with the rest of the tabbouleh.

This product works as a side for Mediterranean foods, as a condiment for chicken dishes that might need spruced up, or as a dip for chips, crisps, or pita bread. I'm sure it would do well as a substitute for tapenade—you could surely use it to top off bruschetta. I'd throw this on top of burritos or nachos. Eat it with fish. I could go on...

Accessible to vegans, vegetarians, and the gluten intolerant, TJ's has provided a very versatile dish here. $3.69 for the tub. And yet another Trader Joe's cauliflower product gets the thumbs up from the WG@TJ's team. Three and a half stars from me. Four from Sonia.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.