Trader Joe's Onion Flowers

Finally, you can get a Bloomin' Onion from somewhere other than Outback. Trader Joe’s has decided to take a stab at this classic appetizer with their new Onion Flowers. Imported all the way from Thailand, these frozen apps aim for those same crispy petals, but the results are kind of a mixed bag. At $5.49 for a box of two, the price point is definitely more affordable than any sit-down restaurant bill. Sonia and I gave these a spin using both the air fryer and the oven to see if they could live up to the hype.

The actual flavor of these onions is fantastic, featuring pristine, sweet white onions wrapped in a light, tempura-esque batter that happens to be entirely vegan. However, the execution leaves a little to be desired. No matter how we baked it or fried it, the middle just would not cooperate. We tried the air fryer for one and the oven for the other, and both times the center remained stubbornly underdone and raw-ish. The batter also felt a bit stingy, especially near the core, and the final presentation fell quite short of the bar set by the restaurant version. If you're looking to impress guests, these might look more like wilted weeds than blooming flowers.

Trader Joe’s also committed the ultimate appetizer sin by failing to include a dipping sauce, despite showing one on the cover art. To save the day, I whipped up a custom recipe modified from something I got on ChatGPT, that honestly carried the whole experience:

Of course, I had to shrink the measurements down a good bit since I was only making enough for two people. Also note that if you don't have those exact ingredients, Google Gemini or ChatGPT will gladly help you alter the recipe based on what you do have on hand at the moment. AI may be coming for all of our jobs, and maybe eventually our souls, but I'll be darned if they aren't helpful in the kitchen. This sauce was delicious, creamy, and spicy and it worked perfectly with the sweet onion petals.

In the end, these aren't going to replace the theatricality of a freshly fried restaurant appetizer, and they definitely lack the structural integrity of their famous ancestor, but they're a solid choice for onion fiends like us who don't mind a little rustic presentation and a slightly mushy center, making them a fun, flavorful snack for a casual night in. Sonia and I are both in agreement on the final score, giving the Trader Joe’s Onion Flowers seven and a half stars. They're worth a try for the flavor alone, provided you have the right sauce to back them up.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's 1000 Day Gouda Cheese

Trader Joe’s 1000 Day Gouda Cheese practically screams “build a charcuterie board around me,” and that’s exactly what we did. At $13 per pound, our wedge came out to $6.24. Not cheap, but still very reasonable for a cheese aged nearly three years and imported from the Netherlands. Right away, this gouda delivers on its promise: it’s unmistakably caramel-sweet with a deep, nutty richness that makes it feel more like a special occasion cheese than an everyday slice. The texture is firm, waxy, and crumbly, with neat crunchy granules scattered throughout. Just a heads-up: don’t eat the rind. It’s tough and not meant to be part of the experience.

We featured this on a simple charcuterie board in our video review, and it paired beautifully with several items. Walnuts were a standout, adding earthy crunch that complemented the caramel sweetness perfectly. Turkey salami also worked really well, bringing a savory contrast without overpowering the cheese. My favorite pairing, though, was Trader Joe’s Original Savory Thin Crackers made with rice. The light, crisp texture let the gouda shine and made each bite super balanced.

Sonia enjoyed pairing it with fruit like raspberries and dates, which leaned even further into the sweet side. That combo didn’t quite do it for me, but taste is subjective. Green olives were interesting. I didn’t love them in the same bite as the gouda, but alternating between the salty olives and the sweet cheese actually worked really well.

Overall, this is a flavorful, unique aged gouda that’s perfect for entertaining or elevating a snack spread. Sonia gives Trader Joe’s 1000 Day Gouda eight out of ten stars. I guess I'll go with seven and a half. If you enjoy sweet, nutty, crystal-laden cheeses, this one is worth trying, especially as the star of a simple charcuterie board.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crew Member Cologne Collection

If you're anything like me, you find the olfactory landscape of a Trader Joe's to be comforting, soothing...transcendent even. And today's your lucky day. Forget all that fancy stuff with vanilla notes and jasmine. TJ’s has launched its debut fragrance line: the Crew Member Collection.

This isn't just perfume. It's a sensory activation. There are three signature scents, and yes, they come packaged in miniature, wax-coated cardboard boxes. Each one retails for only $9.99 and comes with a certificate of authenticity printed with its unique batch number.

Here’s my honest review:

1. Frozen Aisle & Cedar (the blue box) This one smells like existential dread and fresh produce. It opens with an aggressive burst of crisp, cold ozone—like when you reach into the display freezer to grab some hashbrowns—and mellows into a surprisingly grounded scent of damp cardboard. It smells exactly like the back stockroom on delivery day. Bottom line: 9 out of 10. (If you like smelling like crisp efficiency).

2. Aisle 4 Eucalyptus & Spice (the green box) This scent is a rollercoaster. The top note is undeniable: a chaotic blend of Everything But the Bagel Seasoning, chai, and cedarwood. It’s warm, garlic-heavy, and slightly abrasive. It dries down to a faint hint of eucalyptus that I’m convinced Sonia sprayed by the registers to keep the line calm. Bottom line: 7 out of 10. (You will smell savory).

3. Eau de Hibiscus Tote (the pink box) This is the breakout star. It smells like sweet, tart hibiscus but with a complex "aged cotton" finish. They captured the exact scent of a canvas tote bag that has been sitting in a hot trunk for two weeks. It's nostalgic, slightly fruity, and very aggressively branded. Bottom line: 10 out of 10. (Sonia stole my bottle immediately).

All three fragrances are unisex and cruelty free. The ingredients lists are...fascinating. Sonia would definitely pick up the hibiscus flavor or the frozen aisle one for a repeat buy. We're still on the fence about Aisle 4. Apparently, they used actual spiced chai oil, and I do have to warn you: these colognes do not wash off. You are a crew member now. Forever. Happy shopping!

Trader Joe's Marshmallow Eggs

So these are basically Trader Joe's take on the timeless classic: Peeps. In the words of the most fanatical adult Peeps fan I know, they're "a better alternative to Peeps" with "all natural coloring." Indeed, Trader Joe's Marshmallow Eggs are colored with vegetable juice, turmeric, and spirulina. All of the ingredients seem to be above board, with the possible exception of carrageenan. But hey, a little seaweed-based emulsifier probably won't kill anybody. I'd prefer that over pork gelatin, which is what you'll find in original Peeps.

 

The marshmallow is nice and soft. There's a faint crunchiness on the outside thanks to the thin coating of fine crystallized sugar granules. These do contain pea protein, but fear not. They don't taste like pea protein. If I can taste pea protein, I'll nope out pretty fast. But these are good.

There's a creamy vanilla sweetness and an almost caramel-esque richness to them. They're very soft and fluffy, texture-wise, and they're quite satisfying. Still, in the same way I don't really crave Peeps these days, I probably wouldn't purchase this product outside of a once-a-year Easter novelty, and in reality it'll most likely be even more infrequent than that.

They come in a few different pastel colors like pink, purple, and green, but our TJ's store only had yellow Marshmallow Eggs. We picked up two packs because why the heck not? I would think the lack of gelatin would render this product as vegan, but it's not marked as such. Not sure why.

At $1.49 for three, they're worth picking up at least once to toss into Junior's Easter basket just to see how he likes them. You can always go back to the name brand if he's not into 'em. Sonia and I will polish off our two packs easily enough. We both give Trader Joe's Marshmallow Eggs seven and a half out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken Sausage Ravioli

Trader Joe's Chicken Sausage Ravioli is one of the latest additions to TJ's long line of pre-packaged, refrigerated ravioli products, and like many of the store’s other chilled pasta offerings, it promises a quick, convenient dinner for busy weeknights. At $4.49 for a 9 oz package, it’s priced right in line with the rest of the lineup.

This thin stuffed pasta comes filled with chicken sausage, ricotta, mozzarella, and parmesan cheeses, which sounds like a flavor powerhouse on paper. Unfortunately, the reality is a little more subdued.

The pasta itself is perfectly fine. It cooks quickly, the texture is tender without being mushy, and the thin sheets of pasta hold together nicely in the pot. If you’ve had Trader Joe’s other refrigerated ravioli varieties, the texture here will feel very familiar.

The bigger issue is the filling. Despite the promising ingredient list, the flavor is surprisingly mild—almost to the point of blandness. The filling is mostly a soft, white cheese mixture with only occasional small chunks of chicken sausage mixed in. Those bits do add a hint of savory flavor, but they’re sparse enough that the overall taste remains extremely subtle.

In fact, if you top this ravioli with a typical marinara sauce, the sauce tends to completely overshadow the filling. The pasta basically becomes a vehicle for whatever sauce you choose. Using just a light drizzle of olive oil lets a faint chicken sausage flavor come through, but even then it’s pretty delicate.

One thing that helped dramatically was adding Trader Joe's Aglio Olio Seasoning Blend. The garlic, herbs, and red chili pepper gave the ravioli a much needed flavor boost and turned a somewhat sleepy dish into something far more enjoyable.

To be clear, nothing about this ravioli is bad or offensive. It’s easy to cook, the pasta texture is good, and it works well as a base for sauces or seasonings. It’s just that the filling doesn’t deliver the bold flavor you might expect from chicken sausage and three cheeses.

If you’re looking for a mild, customizable ravioli you can dress up with sauce or seasoning, Trader Joe’s Chicken Sausage Ravioli will do the job. Just don’t expect the filling itself to steal the show. Despite its meatless status, I greatly preferred the recently-reviewed Vegetable Ravioli to this selection.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's 2 Affogatos

If you love the taste of coffee, then Trader Joe’s 2 Affogatos might be right up your alley. If you’re like me and mostly view coffee as a delivery vehicle for cream and sugar…well, buckle up.

First things first: this is an import. But not the kind you might expect. When you think affogato, you probably picture an elegant Italian cafe with a tiny spoon and someone named Giuseppe dramatically pouring espresso over gelato. Instead, this product is imported from Thailand, which was a bit surprising. Not bad. Just unexpected. Kind of like if someone tried to sell you Pad Thai imported from Italy. No offense to Thailand. It just feels like we swapped passports somewhere along the way.

Preparation is pleasantly simple. Keep the cups frozen, then when dessert time rolls around, dump the little packet of instant coffee into the center of the frozen dessert and add hot water. That’s it. In about ten seconds you’ve got yourself a DIY affogato situation.

Flavor-wise? Trader Joe's 2 Affogatos absolutely taste like coffee. No ambiguity here. The vanilla non-dairy frozen dessert does a nice job softening the bitterness, creating a creamy, melty coffee float vibe. But the coffee flavor still comes through loud and clear. For hardcore coffee fans like Sonia, this is a win. She gave it seven and a half stars and would most likely buy this product again.

For me, though? I’m more coffee-neutral. I don’t hate it, but I don’t exactly crave it either. And because the coffee flavor dominates, the whole experience leans a bit too espresso-forward for my taste. I'm throwing out six and a half out of ten stars.

Another downside: the servings are tiny. At $4.49 for two small cups, the portion-to-price ratio feels a little stingy. That said, I appreciate the creativity and the vegan-friendly approach. The dessert itself is fully vegan, which is cool. I’m also curious how it would taste if you swapped the hot water for hot milk—or hot oat milk or coconut milk if you want to keep it plant-based. That might make the whole thing richer and more indulgent.

Trader Joe's 2 Affogatos Vanilla Non-Dairy Frozen Desserts are neat to try, great for coffee lovers, but probably not a repeat buy for me. Still, if Trader Joe’s ever releases a full dairy Italian-import affogato, I’m absolutely lining up to try that one.

Sonia's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spicy Alfredo Fusilloni Pasta

Trader Joe's loves to mash up flavors from different parts of the world and see what happens. Their Spicy Alfredo Fusilloni Pasta with gochujang sauce is a perfect example of that philosophy: a creamy Italian classic colliding with a bold Korean staple.

For $4.79 you get a full pound of pasta, and it’s not just any pasta. This is imported Italian fusilloni, which is essentially the big, burly cousin of standard fusilli. The spirals are noticeably larger, thicker, and sturdier, which turns out to be a great choice here because they hold onto the sauce beautifully. Each twist grabs onto that creamy, spicy coating, making every bite flavorful.

The sauce is where things get interesting. Traditional Alfredo provides the rich, creamy base, but it’s blended with gochujang, the fermented Korean chili paste that brings a subtle sweetness, a little tang, and a gentle heat. It’s an unusual combination on paper, but in practice it works surprisingly well. The result is creamy, savory, and slightly spicy without overwhelming the pasta.

Speaking of spice, don’t expect this to blow your head off. The heat level of Trader Joe's Spicy Alfredo Fusilloni Pasta lands somewhere around a three or four out of ten. It’s enough to let you know the gochujang is there, but it stays firmly in the “family friendly” zone. If you’re a spice lover, you may find yourself doing what Sonia did—adding an extra squirt of gochujang or two to kick things up a notch.

Flavor-wise, we both enjoyed it quite a bit. The pasta texture is excellent, the sauce is rich and well balanced, and the fusion concept actually delivers. That said, we do have one small gripe: we wish there were some vegetables mixed in. A little broccoli, spinach, or even peppers would help turn this into a more complete one-pan meal. Of course, you can easily add your own, but part of the appeal of products like this is convenience.

Still, it’s perfectly good on its own, and the flavors are satisfying enough to keep you coming back for another forkful. All things considered, Sonia and I give Trader Joe’s Spicy Alfredo Fusilloni Pasta a solid seven and a half out of ten stars. A fun fusion idea, tasty sauce, and excellent pasta. Just bring your own veggies and protein if you want to round it out.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake

If you’ve strolled past the bakery section lately, you’ve probably spotted Trader Joe’s Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake—a sunny little rectangle promising tropical vibes in baked good form. At $5.99 for a modestly sized sheet cake, it’s clearly aiming for that sweet spot between weeknight indulgence and “I guess we’re celebrating something?” dessert. But does it deliver peak coconut bliss?

Let’s start with the highlight: the icing. The cream cheese frosting is superb. It's lush, velvety, and decadently sweet without crossing into cloying territory. It spreads thick across the top in those signature ridges, and each bite delivers a creamy punch that honestly does most of the heavy lifting. If you’re here for frosting-forward desserts, you’re in good hands.

The cake itself? Good, but not stellar. It’s moist, tender, and pleasantly sweet, with a soft mouthfeel that pairs nicely with the frosting. You can definitely taste coconut, but it’s not overly coconutty. In fact, it’s almost cautious. The flavor leans creamy with a gentle toasted coconut note rather than bold, beachy intensity.

Which brings us to the coconut shavings. There really aren’t that many, and they're not that big. When you put “Toasted Coconut” in the title, you’ve set expectations. Coconut lovers want texture. They want aroma. They want to feel like they just fell face-first into a piña colada. As it stands, the cake is creamy and somewhat coconutty, but this is the moment to go coco-nuts. The coconut skeptics are already sitting this one out, so why not fully cater to the fans?

Still, as an everyday dessert, this mini sheet cake is undeniably tasty overall. It’s easy to slice, easy to share, and dangerously easy to keep “just trimming” the edges of.

Final verdict? Sonia gives Trader Joe’s Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake a solid seven and a half out of ten stars. I'll go with seven out of ten. Amp up the coconut, and this could be an eight and a half without breaking a sweat.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Irish Coffee

With St. Patrick’s Day just around the corner, Trader Joe’s Irish Coffee feels like a festive bottle to grab while you’re stocking up on soda bread and shamrock-shaped sweets. Priced at $9.99 for a 375 mL bottle, it’s an approachable seasonal sipper that promises coffeehouse vibes with a boozy kick.

First impressions? Sonia nailed it: “It tastes like real brewed coffee…that’s been sitting in the carafe for a while.” That description is oddly specific...and oddly accurate. The coffee flavor leans more diner drip than fresh-pulled espresso. It’s slightly bitter, a touch stale tasting, but undeniably authentic in its brewed coffee character.

Where things get interesting is the balance. At 20% ABV, this isn’t just coffee with a whisper of whiskey. The Irish whiskey presence is stronger than expected, and the sweetness is dialed up more than we anticipated, too. It’s surprisingly sugary, which makes it quite palatable despite the assertive alcohol. It packs a punch but it’s nowhere near as intense as straight Irish whiskey. Think “spirited dessert drink” rather than “fireside dram.”

If you’re dreaming of something creamy—like coffee mixed with Baileys—temper those expectations. There’s absolutely nothing creamy about this bottle. It’s sweetened coffee and whiskey, full stop. Of course, you can add your own cream (and honestly, you probably should if that’s your vibe).

We experimented a bit. Warmed gently in a saucepan, it’s decent. Cozy, even. But we actually preferred it over ice. Chilled down, the sweetness and alcohol feel more balanced, and the slightly tired coffee note becomes less noticeable.

As for scores, Sonia gives it a solid eight out of ten stars. I land at seven out of ten. Averaged together, that’s a respectable 7.5 out of 10.

Would we buy Trader Joe's Irish Coffee again? Maybe. But we’d probably steer folks toward Trader Joe's Golden Vale Irish Cream Liqueur (if available), actually imported from Ireland. This product is imported from...Princeton, Minnesota. Also Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee & Cream Liqueur was a stellar booze and java option, but again may not be available currently. Still, for a quick, festive pour, TJ's Irish Coffee gets the job done.

Sláinte! 🍀

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Simply the Best Trek Mix

If you’re looking for a sweet and savory snack that’s ready for the trails...or the couch, as the case may be, Trader Joe’s Simply the Best Trek Mix might catch your eye. Priced at $6.49 for a one pound resealable bag, this nut and dried fruit blend promises a premium snacking experience with almonds, cashews, dried pineapple, tart cherries, and cranberries. It's been on TJ's shelves for at least nine years, and possibly longer, though I cannot confirm it was around prior to 2017...if you remember it earlier than that, drop us a comment below.

Let’s start with the standout: the dried pineapple. In our bag, it was absolutely plenteous, and the chunks were enormous. If you’re a pineapple fan, you’ll be thrilled. The pieces are sweet and bold, adding a tropical punch that dominates the mix in a good way. It almost feels like a pineapple-forward snack with nuts as the supporting cast.

Speaking of nuts, the almonds and cashews are high quality and fresh. The almonds bring a satisfying crunch, while the cashews add a buttery richness that balances the sweetness of the fruit. There were no stale or shriveled nuts in our bag—always a win when it comes to packaged trail mix.

That said, the fruit-to-nut ratio wasn’t perfect. While the pineapple was generous, there simply weren’t enough dried cherries or cranberries to create the tart contrast we were hoping for. Those ruby red bites add brightness and complexity, and we found ourselves digging through the bag looking for more.

Another small drawback: the mix contains canola oil. While it’s common in packaged snacks, we can’t help but wish Trader Joe’s had opted for a different oil, such as EVOO or avocado, to elevate the ingredient list just a bit more.

Overall, Trader Joe’s Simply the Best Trek Mix is a flavorful, satisfying snack with excellent nuts and abundant pineapple, but a slightly unbalanced fruit distribution. The beautiful wifey gives it eight out of ten stars, appreciating the sweetness and quality ingredients. I give it seven out of ten stars, docking a point for the shortage of cherries.

Still, for $6.49, it’s a solid grab for your next hike...or Tubi binge.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Thai Peanut Satay Sauce

Let's talk about the Great Peanut Sauce Trauma of years past. Once upon a time, Trader Joe’s released a different satay sauce that was so aggressively fishy it basically required an apology letter to our taste buds. It was a dark era for our pantry, and we spent a significant amount of time avoiding that specific section of the condiment aisle out of pure fear.

However, time heals all wounds, and we finally decided to give the new-ish Thai Peanut Satay Sauce a fair shot. At $2.29 for an 8.1-ounce jar actually imported from Thailand, the price was low enough to gamble on, even if our expectations were safely tucked away in the basement.

The good news is that the overpowering fish sauce has been officially banished from the recipe. This new version is built on a much friendlier foundation of coconut milk and coconut sugar, which already makes it a thousand times more approachable than its predecessor.

It boasts a complex flavor profile that actually makes sense, featuring a blend of peanuts, curry, garlic, shallots, lemongrass, red chili pepper, and cumin. When we first cracked open the jar, the sauce was a little stiff. Honestly, it had the structural integrity of a chilled stick of butter, but a little heat fixed that right up. Once it warmed through, it transformed into a smooth, savory, and aromatic dream.

Since we aren't exactly the type of people who keep wooden skewers lying around for a random Thursday night, Sonia skipped the traditional satay presentation entirely. Instead, she threw together some improvised peanutty chicken noodle bowls using rice noodles and chicken breast we had on hand. We topped the whole thing with pickled julienned carrots and crushed peanuts for that essential hit of acid and crunch. The result was genuinely impressive and very tasty.

We’re happy to report that the redemption arc is complete, and both Sonia and I would definitely buy this product again. If you want to see us actually cook and eat this, please watch our video review. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Thai Peanut Satay Sauce a solid eight out of ten stars. I'll go with a respectable seven and a half.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cranberry Clementine Greek Yogurt

Trader Joe’s Cranberry Clementine Greek Yogurt is one of those seasonal items that doesn’t shout for attention but ends up winning you over spoon by spoon. It usually shows up around the holidays, and while cranberry and clementine might sound a little festive-forced on paper, the execution here is surprisingly restrained.

First things first: the texture. This is a proper Greek yogurt—thick, dense, and creamy, very much in the same league as Fage when it comes to consistency. It’s not runny, not whipped, and not trying to be a sugar-laden dessert. A single serving feels substantial and filling, making it a solid breakfast or mid-day snack without needing much else alongside it.

Flavor-wise, Trader Joe’s Cranberry Clementine Greek Yogurt strikes a decent balance. The citrus notes from the clementine add brightness, while the cranberry brings a gentle tartness. Neither flavor dominates, and that’s the key strength here. The result is a unique flavor combination that feels refreshing rather than heavy, even with the yogurt’s thick body.

The sweetness level is a little lower than I'd prefer. It's quite tangy as one might expect from Greek yogurt. It also delivers a solid protein boost. Also, shouldn't cranberry clementine be an "all winter long" flavor rather than just a holiday one?

At 99¢ per cup, it's worth a whirl at least once just to see if you'll like it or not. It’s festive without being super gimmicky, and that’s no small feat for a seasonal dairy product. Predictably, the beautiful wifey likes it a bit more than I do, but I'm certainly not hating. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Cranberry Clementine Greek Yogurt. Seven out of ten from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Instant Jeju Matcha Latte Packets

Trader Joe’s Instant Jeju Matcha Latte Packets are a simple, convenient option for anyone who wants a quick matcha drink without turning their kitchen into a tea ceremony. A box costs $4.99 and includes 10 single-serve packets, imported from South Korea. That puts each drink at about fifty cents, which feels more than reasonable for something this easy and palatable.

Preparation couldn’t be simpler. Empty one packet into hot or cold water, stir, and you’re done. Sonia and I tried it both ways and agree that it's slightly more refreshing iced for some reason, though in the dead of winter, the hot version is perfectly acceptable.

There’s no need to add milk, sugar, or sweetener. Skim milk is the first ingredient, and there is some added sugar, but the balance works. The flavor clearly reads as matcha without being grassy, bitter, or overpowering. It tastes like a proper matcha latte. If you like matcha but don’t want it too intense, this lands in a comfortable middle ground.

Each serving has 80 calories and contains some caffeine—roughly half the amount you’d get from a standard cup of coffee. That makes it a decent option for an afternoon pick-me-up when you want something calming without the full jolt of java. Provided you stir it adequately, the texture is smooth with no chalky or gritty aftertaste, which can be an issue with some instant mixes.

One practical bonus is the shelf life. The box we picked up has a “best by” date of July 2027, so there’s no rush to use them up. They’re easy to stash at work, keep in a travel bag, or stock in the pantry. Ingredients: skim milk powder, sugar, dextrose powder, matcha powder, whole milk powder, sea salt, xanthan gum.

Overall, Trader Joe’s Jeju Matcha Latte delivers exactly what it promises: a straightforward, good-tasting matcha latte with minimal effort. Trader Joe’s Instant Jeju Matcha Latte Packets aren’t fancy, but they’re reliable, convenient, and something we’d happily buy again. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Seven and a half stars from this guy.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Garlic & Herb Butter Mussels

For six bucks, you get a dozen mussels nestled in their half shells, each one smothered in a garlicky, herbaceous butter sauce. Twelve mussels may not sound like a lot—and honestly, it’s not—but they are imported from France, which automatically gives them a little accent and a sense of occasion. You’re not just eating frozen shellfish; you’re experiencing something. Tres chic.

Preparation is refreshingly low-effort. They come frozen, you slide the tray into the oven, and 15 minutes later you’re pulling out something that looks suspiciously like it belongs on a white tablecloth with a glass of wine you can’t pronounce. No stovetop drama, no splattering oil, no culinary degree required.

Eating Trader Joe's Garlic & Herb Butter Mussels is half the fun. You start off politely with a fork, scooping the mussel out of its shell, but quickly realize the real move is to use the first empty shell as a tiny, makeshift seafood shovel for the rest. It's quite practical but it also feels lowkey vulgar for some reason.

Flavor-wise, these are interesting. There’s a faint fishy note—as one might expect from mussels—and also a subtle flinty, almost metallic edge that reminds you that yes, this did in fact come from the ocean. And yet, somehow, it all works. The garlic and herb butter pulls everything together into something genuinely tasty, unique, and kind of fancy. You can absolutely see why mussels are considered a delicacy, even if you don’t personally want to commit to them long-term.

That said, these are not my favorite seafood, nor even my favorite shellfish. Shrimp still reigns supreme, scallops remain untouchable, and mussels… well, mussels are having a moment, but not a permanent residency in my freezer.

Would I buy these again? Probably not. But if they showed up at a Super Bowl party, parked next to the wings and seven-layer dip? Yeah. I’d grab one or two, feel sophisticated for a second, and then go back to the chips. For the novelty factor and the decent flavor both the beautiful wifey and I will go with a solid seven and a half out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Garlic & Herb Butter Mussels.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sour Strawberry Candy Belts

Trader Joe’s Sour Strawberry Candy Belts come in a hefty plastic tub that costs a very reasonable $3.49 which immediately puts them in the dangerous impulse buy category. You know, the kind where you toss them into your cart thinking "this will last a while," and then somehow the tub is empty by Tuesday. Inside, you’ll find roughly 30 candy belts—long, sugar-dusted ribbons that look like they were designed specifically to be eaten straight from the container while standing in the kitchen.

Let’s start with the texture, because texture matters. These belts are soft, flexible, and pleasantly chewy without veering into dental-work territory. You can bend them, twist them, roll them up like a fruit leather sleeping bag—no snapping, no jaw fatigue. Big win. If you’ve ever been betrayed by a candy that fought back, you’ll appreciate these.

Flavor-wise, they’re good. The strawberry taste is clean, familiar, and enjoyable. Sweet and sour in a friendly, non-threatening way. That said, let’s talk about the sour part. Or rather, the lack of commitment to sour. Trader Joe's Sour Strawberry Candy Belts are lightly tart, but they’re not making your face implode. If you’re hoping for a full pucker moment, you won’t find it here. And honestly, that’s fine—just know what you’re signing up for.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, has topped Trader Joe’s dearly departed Sour Gummy Ts and Js. They weren’t aggressively sour either, but the flavors—grapefruit, tangerine, lime, lemon—were elite-tier candy flavors. Compared to that lineup, strawberry feels a little… safe. Which brings us to the big wish: more flavors. With Sour Jelly Beans, Sour Scandinavian Swimmers, and Spooky Bats & Cats, Trader Joe’s understands that variety is the spice of sour life. Why limit these belts to just one flavor?

Still, if I had to choose a single sour flavor to live with, strawberry wouldn’t be a bad pick. Bonus points for using real sugar, apple juice concentrate, and fruit-and-vegetable-based coloring. Candy that’s trying a little to be wholesome is very on-brand.

Finally, these are a product of Turkey. Baklava? Sure. Simit bread? Absolutely. Sour candy belts? Unexpected, but okay, Turkey—you nailed the chew.

Bottom line: tasty, affordable, easy-to-like candy with great texture and solid flavor. Just don’t expect them to melt your face off. I'll go with seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Sour Strawberry Candy Belts. The beautiful wifey will throw out seven and a half.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Maple Brioche Style Liège Waffles

Trader Joe’s Maple Brioche Style Liège Waffles arrive with a bit of continental swagger. Fun fact to drop at brunch: Liège is a city in Belgium, which means these waffles are technically more cultured than most of us before coffee. They’re imported straight from Belgium, so when you eat one you can briefly pretend you’re on a cobblestone street instead of standing barefoot in your kitchen at 7:42 a.m.

For $4.49, you get six waffles, each one individually wrapped like it’s a precious artifact. At first glance, the extra packaging feels a little dramatic—does a waffle really need its own outfit? But once you’re tossing one into a bag for work or ripping one open half-asleep, the convenience wins you over. No freezer burn, no weird waffle clumping incidents. Everyone stays in their lane.

Out of the wrapper, these are… fine. Perfectly acceptable. Pleasant, even. But let’s not kid ourselves: these waffles want heat. Toss one in the toaster, add a little butter, and suddenly things get interesting. The outside crisps up, the inside stays soft and chewy, and the pearl sugar does that magical caramelized thing it does so well. If you’re really chasing sweetness, a drizzle of extra maple syrup will send it over the top, though it’s not strictly necessary.

The maple flavor itself is noticeable but not aggressive. It’s there, quietly humming in the background, reminding you that fall exists. That said, it does make these waffles a little less versatile than Trader Joe’s Original Brioche Style Liège Waffles. The plain ones are a blank canvas—you can throw fruit spread on them, go savory-ish, do whatever your heart desires. These maple ones feel more opinionated. Butter? Yes. Syrup? Sure. Whipped cream or even a scoop of ice cream? Absolutely. But slathering them with strawberry jam feels… wrong. Like wearing flip-flops to a wedding.

Would we buy them again? Probably. They’re good, they’re convenient, and they scratch a specific maple-flavored itch. But if we’re being honest, we’d still gravitate toward the plain version most of the time. If I want maple, I can always add my own. Control is power, especially when waffles are involved. Seven and a half out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Maple Brioche Style Liège Waffles. I'll go with seven out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Maple Pecan Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe’s Maple Pecan Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate is one of those products that makes you do a quick double take at the price tag, then immediately start doing mental math to justify it. Ten bucks gets you eight servings, which works out to $1.25 per cup. On paper, that sounds a little bougie for something you’re still making at home. In practice, it’s still laughably cheaper than wandering into Starbucks and leaving with a $7 drink that has a paragraph-long name and enough sugar to power a small go-kart.

Flavor-wise, this stuff is interesting in a good way. The maple is front and center, but it’s not screaming “PANCAKE SYRUP” at you. Instead, it tastes like maple syrup that went to therapy and learned restraint. There’s almost no sweetness built in, which I actually appreciated. It lets the coffee stay coffee. If you want sweetness, you’re in full control. We tried it with date syrup, and that combo absolutely worked—nutty, rounded sweetness without turning the drink into a dessert masquerading as caffeine.

The pecan flavor is there, but don’t expect it to kick the door down. It’s subtle, more of a background note than a headliner. Think “someone walked by with pecans” rather than “pecan pie just entered the room.” Maple is clearly the star, with pecan playing a polite supporting role.

As for mixing, you’ve got options: milk or water. We tried both, and the winner was water first, then a splash of half and half. It keeps the coffee tasting clean while still giving you a little creamy luxury at the end. Straight milk was fine, but it dulled some of the nuance.

One important note: this is much better than Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate, which always felt like it was trying too hard. This one knows who it is.

Final verdict: Sonia would buy it again and I wouldn't stop her. It’s shelf-stable until opened, needs refrigeration afterward, and it’s kosher. Basically, it’s a solid, slightly fancy cold brew that won’t judge you for wearing sweatpants while drinking it. Seven out of ten stars from me. Eight out of ten from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Maple Pecan Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.