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Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Trader Joe's Green Goddess Salad Dressing

When Trader Joe's offers up female-themed, gender-specific products like this one, I always have to do a self-induced Man Card check. 

I mean, one could argue that Trader Joe himself is a dude, and that nearly every product in the store has a dude's name on it. But a chick purchasing Cowboy Burgers or Cowboy Caviar? Nobody bats an eyelid. I buy Cowgirl Bark—and the female clerk that rang me up actually called me out on it. Other parts of that classic review were indeed fictional—and me calling my own review "classic" is absolutely meant to be as tongue-in-cheek as you were hoping it was. But the part about the Trader Joe's employee wondering why I was buying Cowgirl Bark instead of the "boy" version really, truly, honestly happened.

So now, when "goddess" type products pop up on TJ's shelves, to prove to myself how secure I am in my masculinity...

I send my lovely Sonia in to purchase them while I wait in the car.

I mean, I'm well aware that food-blogging about salad dressing isn't quite as manly as, say, felling mighty cedar trees with a hacksaw or driving a monster truck through a massive, fiery explosion, so I'm demonstrating some level of security here anyway, right? I've reviewed mango, pumpkin spice, and even light beer products. I'm secure as heck...right? I guess if I even have to ask you, then I already have my answer. Oh well.


Insecure or not, I must say I do like this dressing. It's super thick, but relatively smooth, and it tastes as green as it looks. It coats everything it touches, so you don't have to use much with each serving. 

It's decidedly avocado-y. There's a bright citrusy zing from the lemon juice, too—and underneath those dominant flavors is a subtle, but remarkably unique blend of garlic, spices, and apple cider vinegar. It worked very well on salad, but I think there are plenty of other applications here.

It certainly doesn't taste exactly like guacamole, but it could probably serve in the same capacity. It's delicious as a chip dip, and I imagine it would be stellar as a sauce for fish tacos, sandwiches, baked potatoes, or nachos.

$3.69 for the small bottle. Even with teeny-weeny serving sizes, it'll go fast, because you'll want to eat it with everything. No weird ingredients, low in calories, vegan. Definitely avoid if you hate avocados or guac. I wish they made a version with some heat. I'm not sure what will pair just right with it... jalapeños? Tapatio? Cayenne pepper? We'll just have to experiment. Four stars from me. Four and a half from my "goddess," Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

15 comments:

  1. So its not the classic green goddess dressing.

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    1. No, it doesn't have mayo or sour cream or anything like that...

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  2. Re: making it spicier, I'd recommend pairing it with either Green Dragon or Zhoug sauce.

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  3. I trepidatiously checked the ingredients...no cilantro! Looks like a winner.

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    1. I did the same thing! I do not like cilantro. This dressing is excellent.

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  4. I agree with you most of the time except for this one. I bought all three flavors and threw them all out. Maybe I should have tried doctoring them up. I'll stick with their Peanut Vinaigrette.

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    1. If we have to doctor the product up, then the product has failed, (in my opinion)... we may as well have made up the concoction on our own...

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    2. Unknown, never throw out a TJ's product. They'll give you your money back no questions asked.

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  5. I wanted to love this but it seemed a bit shy on the fresh herbal flavor i was expecting and i could definitely tell it was a low calorie dressing.
    TJs actually has a (vegan) goddess dressing in a bottle that has been around since maybe ever, the base has tahini and the herb flavor is balanced. Widely rumored to be annie’s organics for TJs. I prefer that one because it’s creamier and i love tahini in salad dressings (note it’s also $2.29 for 10oz)
    Ttrockwood

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    1. The goddess dressings remind me of the tahini dressing/sauce you get at Middle Eastern restaurants.

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  6. Green Goddess dressing is actually a generic name for a salad dressing (usually mayo-based with a short list of basic ingredients), this is just one of TJ's takes on it.

    The other dressings in similar bottles have been hits alongside this one. I think the yellow one is best suited as a marinade for white proteins, the orange would do well for a cold, perhaps veggie-based slaw (same for GG too!).

    For what it's worth, you totally should feel fine buying this, and Cowgirl Bark! Personally I never really notice if someone's buying something that seems more "man" or "woman" related. I think the cashier was just being fun and wasnt judging :)Perhaps it's different areas... Our TJs has a nail spa three doors down. The last few times I've been, I kid you not, there has been a middle-aged male getting a pedi on his own.

    (I doubt they were getting polish...some men have just found out about the magic massages that you get with pedicures (now they're taking up appointment slots, gr), and they'll just clean up your nails without polish if you want)

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  7. I love the Green Goddess dressing! Perfect on taco salad...or any salad.

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