Not all that long ago, we looked at Trader Joe's Tangerine Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. This here's its counterpart, with ginger and lemon flavor. In that last review, I likened the probiotics within the beverage to microscopic Sea-Monkeys that colonize your intestines, so I'll spare you from an absurd intro to the beverage review this time. We've got that same probiotic action here, same carbonation level, similar attractive packaging, but a different flavor combo. Let's see if this one's as good as the last...
Provided you like ginger and lemon, yes, I think you'll like Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. It's crisp and refreshing. There's a nice balance of pungent ginger and tart lemon. It's not too spicy, not too sour, and just moderately sweet. I have no problem downing a whole can in a single sitting.
I'm just slightly more fond of the tangerine flavor than this one, but I'd happily drink either one on a hot summer day. Sonia likes both flavors as well, but also favors the tangerine version. Once again, we're looking at $1.99 for a 12 ounce can. Not a bad alternative to soda.
Are these discontinued already? Seasonal?
Four stars from me on Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. Three and a half from Sonia.
Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.
Wait. This has been around for over two years? How did I not hear about this stuff until recently? I love onions in pretty much any form. Roasted onions in macaroni topped with both Swiss and cheddar sounds absolutely scrumptious.
And it is...sorta. I mean, there's definitely a comfort food factor here in Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese. It's a heavy meal. There's a visible layer of grease glazing the white-yellow cheeses. It goes down easily enough. It's super carborrific with 102 grams of total carbohydrates, almost a thousand calories, and a whopping 125% of your RDA for saturated fat. That's if you eat the whole thing, though—which is within the realm of possibility.
It's more practical as a meal for two, even though there are two and a half servings in there somehow. Whatever. If you think of it as a treat, I mean, sometimes you just gotta splurge. The question is: is it worth it? The simple answer from Sonia and me is "not really," unfortunately.
We both think Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese needs more onion flavor. I wouldn't have minded bigger chunks of onion. And although Swiss and cheddar might be my two favorite cheeses in the world, I'd almost have preferred something tangier here. The macaroni is plentiful and soft and pretty normal in most respects.
The big bready croutons were a nice touch for folks who might have some sort of severe carbohydrate deficiency or are doing that carbivore diet I've heard so much about. Honestly, though, it never would have occurred to me in a million years to throw croutons in mac and cheese, and as far as taste and texture are concerned, it worked a lot better than I might have guessed it would. Those were probably the most pleasant surprises in the dish.
$4.99 for the 18 oz box. We're not hating. We just can't jump on board the bandwagon of super-fans. Probably wouldn't buy it again, but I also wouldn't rule it out completely. I think we're looking at about three stars a piece here from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese with Swiss and Cheddar Cheeses, Croutons & Roasted Onions.
Bottom line: 6 out of 10.
Not sure what made me pick this one up. I guess I was jonesin' for some "maximum cracker satisfaction." At least that's what it says on the label. What did you just call me, Trader Joe?
Anyway, these sound interesting enough. Sunflower, sesame, rye, oats, flax all in one crispy bite can't be bad. I hadn't remembered, but we looked at a gluten free version of these on the blog some time ago.
One thing I hate about crackers is crumbs. We have ants in the house around this time every year and we don't need to give them one more reason to wander into our kitchen. Guess I'll be enjoying these crackers over a bowl.
First thoughts: it's a nice balance of flavors here. The sesame seeds might be a tad overrepresented for my taste, but all in all Trader Joe's Crispbread is earthy, seedy, super crispy, and lightly peppery. I was fine eating the crackers plain. Yes, it's a bit weird, but when I'm stressed, as I have been lately, sometimes all I want is something very stark and basic.
I did try the crackers with plain cream cheese, which was pretty tasty. That's Sonia's favorite way to eat them. They paired quite nicely with peanut butter, too, if you ask me. There are all sorts of elaborate ideas on the interzones about how to serve crispbread involving fruits, eggs, exotic cheeses, hummus, pesto...basically anything you can think of. Alas, we did not get that fancy with the crispbread as of the time of this post's composition.
$2.99 for ten large whole grain crackers. Would buy again. Looks like three and a half stars a piece once again from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread Norwegian Crackers.
Bottom line: 7 out of 10.
For some reason, during high school and college in particular, I was very much in that "breakfast all day" mode. A big plate full of carbs seemed appropriate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'd supplement with fruits, veggies, and meats here and there, but by and large, I was in the mood for pancakes, waffles, cookies, toast, granola, and Pop-Tarts constantly.
It might have something to do with my metabolism changing, but lately I've generally been feeling the opposite. Like, I'm rarely in the mood for breakfast foods, even at breakfast time—so I just eat lunch and dinner type fare for my morning meal.
This morning, however, I wanted breakfast for breakfast, and I remembered we had some Trader Joe's Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes in the freezer. I'm not sure what I can attribute the unusual-for-me craving to, but it might have something to do with the changing seasons and the weather going from utterly frigid even up until April to downright summery and hot right now at the end of May. We barely had spring.
Anyway, the pancakes went from frozen to ready-to-eat in 65 seconds. That's pretty freaking convenient. I mean, they're not as good as ones you'd make from scratch and cook in a pan, obviously, but considering the significant difference in effort between the two methods, these tiny silver dollar sized dealies aren't bad to have on hand for mornings when you're pressed for time.
Of course, there's a heating option that involves the oven or a toaster oven. I'll see if Sonia wants to go that route when she wakes up. Otherwise, you can tell us in the comments if you've made these that way and how they turned out.
They're pretty plain until you slap some butter and syrup on them. But most pancakes are like that, unless of course you've got fruit in them or chocolate chips or something like that. I'd buy again for the convenience factor alone.
$3.29 for about 30 mini pancakes. Kosher. Organic. Not a bad value, either. Trader Joe's Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes are nothing to write home about in the flavor department, but they're a nifty product to have in the freezer in case you need to ready up a breakfast spread in a matter of minutes. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.
Bottom line: 7 out of 10.
Fruity wine coolers have always struck me as an unsophisticated alternative to craft beer or actual wine. I in no way advocate underage drinking or taking advantage of inebriated young ladies, but wine coolers just kinda seemed like a cheap way for a guy to get his high school girlfriend drunk enough to get to second or third base after the homecoming dance, and very little more than that. Know what I mean?
So I grabbed this product thinking something along the lines of "This stuff must be awful. Might make an entertaining review making fun of it."
But even just reading the spiel about it on traderjoes.com and refamiliarizing myself with this very blog's review of Simpler Wines Rosé makes me think my initial assumptions were pretty far off base. It's not a low-brow wine cooler. It's "mango-infused Italian vino frizzante." Shoot. Sounds downright fancy when you put it like that.
I mean, mango wine seems like a bit of a gamble in any context, but if anybody can pull it off it's Trader Joe's and whatever Italian wine exporters they're working with. That's right. This wine is actually from Italy.
I poured my Mango Simpler Wine into a stemless white wine glass—obviously an unnecessary step, since these beverages are optimized for drinking straight out of the can. But I thought it would be nice for folks to see the color and maybe even some bubbles just for reference.
So...it's fizzy. In general, I love carbonated beverages. From water to wine, sodas and soft drinks, I'm just a bubbly kinda guy. Great effervescence level here.
Flavor-wise, it's fruity and lightly syrupy. Definitely sweet enough to be a dessert wine in my book. Tastes like mango enough. There's a bit of a harsh alcohol taste at the finish that's a little odd, and there's a whisper of an aftertaste that I'm not a huge fan of...but all in all, it's not bad. Sonia likes it more than I do. She's a girl. This drink is a bit girly. No judgement if you're a dude that likes it...or a chick that doesn't like it. Just sayin'.
$4.99 for the four pack, though I understand that varies from state to state. 8% ABV. Three stars from me for Simpler Wines Mango. Sonia will go with four and a half.
Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.
Insert immature "mother dukkah" pun here. Or don't, you know, in case that sort of thing is beneath you. I get it. Not everybody is a forty-something man-child that still appreciates middle school toilet humor.
Ahem. I heard about this stuff a long time ago but never tried it until now. It's apparently a Middle Eastern condiment made with spices, nuts, and seeds. This particular variety has tiny almond bits and sesame seeds as the main ingredients.
There are two other types of seeds in the mix, but everything is pretty well pulverized into teeny tiny specks, rather than big crunchy bites. I mean, obviously sesame seeds are very small to begin with, but I don't think I've ever seen a whole fennel seed or anise seed, so I couldn't tell you what they look like normally.
Trader Joe's Dukkah basically looks like gravel, but it tastes pretty good. As you'd expect, it's seedy and nutty, but the spices bring a lot of flavor to the table as well. There's something almost licorice-esque about the taste. I guess that's the fennel. Or could be the anise. I guess they both vaguely taste like licorice, but spicier and with a whisper of something minty.
It's a complex taste that works well with olive oil. The little round container says to dip "crusty bread" in olive oil and then dip it in the dukkah. I tried it with plain pita chips and it made them significantly more interesting. I also tried coating some pan fried chicken breast with the dukkah. Not bad. Like breaded chicken, but with more flavor and texture. We'll try with salmon next.
$3.29 for the small cylinder. Would buy again, although there's just a tad too much licorice flavor to make it something I'd reach for on a daily basis. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Put me down for three and a half for Trader Joe's Dukkah.
Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.
To my surprise, there were at least three or four different varieties of meatballs in the frozen section at Trader Joe's during my last run. It's been a hot minute since we've reviewed any kind of meatballs on this blog, so I thought: what the heck?
I chose this bag for two reasons: these are all beef meatballs, unlike the others which all contained pork. And it's brought to you by none other than our old Italian friend Trader Giotto. Buongiorno, Signor Giotto! Why they don't call you Trader Giuseppe, I'll never know. But whatevs.
I got lazy and opted for the microwave heating instructions. Ready in four minutes from frozen? Yes, please.
The texture was still quite pleasant after being nuked for a spell—not unlike fresh-made meatloaf. It was just a smidge chewier than your average melt-in-your-mouth hamburger, but still very pleasant.
The spice blend wafted out from our magical radiation machine as the meat reheated, and it made our kitchen smell like an Italian restaurant. I tried the large meatballs just by themselves, no fixings. Delicious. They tasted just like they smelled: rich, meaty, and full of peppers, garlic, onion, and parsley. I'd have happily eaten four or five meatballs by themselves for an easy protein-rich lunch.
But in the end, we heated up some pasta and marinara sauce and topped the whole thing with parmesan cheese. Perfetto!
I'm far from a meatball connoisseur, but I've gotta give Trader Giotto's Italian Style Meatballs a fairly enthusiastic thumbs up. About five bucks for a dozen full-size meatballs. Four and a half stars from me. Sonia will go with four.
Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.
Dangit. Thought I would make it two weeks without reviewing more cookies. I've mentioned recently that our cookie review count is in the ballpark of 100 just on this blog alone. And that's no exaggeration. We've literally done about a hundred reviews of Trader Joe's brand cookies here. And I don't mean "literally" in the way the youngsters use it: like "OMG when he said that, I LITERALLY died!" I mean it like the way it's supposed to be used.
Why is it always cookies? Why can't Trader Joe's make more donuts? I think we've reviewed about four types of donuts over the course of nearly thirteen years. They could call them Joenuts. That's way more clever than "Joe-Joe's."
Anyhow, I'm sick of cookies, and I'm not a huge fan of molasses, so naturally, I picked up a box of 12 Trader Joe's Molasses Cookies on my last Trader Joe's run. Why? Because I was hoping they tasted more like brown sugar than molasses. Fortunately for me, they do.
Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Cookies are soft and chewy enough, not crispy. They do have a faint molasses flavor underneath the brown sugar, and there's a nice blend of throat-warming spices like cinnamon, ginger, and cloves. They're nearly gingerbread-esque, but if you put the word "gingerbread" on a product outside the month of December, Santa's elves will slap you with a hefty Christmas infringement fine.
Sonia liked these, predictably, a little more than I did, but we both agree they're good. Maybe even a little better than we expected. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three from yours truly for Trader Joe's Molasses Cookies.
Bottom line: 7 out of 10.
If you're one of those hamburger and French fries for every single meal kind of folks, I think you're gonna wanna sit this one out. Nothing wrong with hamburgers and fries. Nothing at all. It's a classic American meal. I like burgers as much as the next guy.
But variety is the spice of life, as they say. Also, spice is the spice of life. In this case, it's "togarashi style seasoning." Well, that sounds very Japanese. A quick glance at Wikipedia confirmed that suspicion. I'm excited now. Let's break open this very bright yellow bag, shall we?
It's not just seaweed snacks. It's seaweed snacks coated with tempura and spice-ified with Japanese pepper. There are little bubbles in portions of the tempura batter that almost look like tiny octopus suckers. And the seaweed itself looks like fish skin. If you wanted a kid to eat this for some reason, you could tell him it's dried meat from a sea monster and he might believe you.
Although it is fairly spicy. Not sure if young kids would tolerate the spice level here. It's like maybe a 6 on a scale of 1-10. Perfect for my taste. I might have even tolerated a notch or two beyond what's here, but the heat builds up on your tongue the more and more you eat. Trader Joe's Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack might pair nicely with an ice cold Sapporo or Asahi. Man, I haven't had either one of those in a long time. But I sure do wish I had one right now.
The main weaknesses of this product versus traditional seaweed snacks are: the price. You can get a couple dozen seaweed sheets for half the price of this product. And regular seaweed snacks are pliable enough that you can wrap them or roll them up with other foods inside them. These are too brittle to be used that way.
$3.29 for the two serving bag. Product of Thailand. I just got this a couple weeks ago and I see no evidence that it's still being sold at TJ's. Anybody have any inside intel? I'd consider buying again, especially if I had a particular craving...and a Japanese beer to go along with it. Three and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack. Four from Sonia.
Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.
