Trader Joe's Sriracha Sprinkle Seasoning Blend

Second only to ketchup, sriracha might be my favorite condiment of all time. Unlike ketchup, however, I didn't grow up with it. I think I discovered it in the mid-2000's, when I was a daring twenty-something roaming the streets of Los Angeles, discovering new foods and new adventures each and every week. It was undoubtedly Vegan Glory or some other top-notch Southland Thai-style restaurant where I first partook of sriracha's tangy, fermented flavor and spicy zing.

My sinuses had been lulled to sleep slowly over those first couple years in the arid air of Southern California, and sriracha helped snap my sense of smell and taste buds back to life. Since the late 2000's or so, Sonia and I have perpetually had a bottle of the stuff on hand in our kitchen.

That said, I was similarly disappointed with Trader Joe's Sriracha Sprinkle Seasoning Blend like I was with the ketchup sprinkle, although not to the same degree. I'll get the negative out of the way first: there's just no way this stuff is as good as real sriracha. Not even close.

But that said, most of my remaining thoughts are positive. It's spicy, though there's a different feeling to the heat here. The first ingredient in this seasoning blend is garlic, while the first ingredient in traditional sriracha is generally chiles.

Sriracha just tastes and feels like super flavorful, liquefied hot chiles, and of course, it's brilliant. Trader Joe's Sriracha Sprinkle Seasoning Blend tastes mostly like garlic powder mixed with cayenne pepper. There's a hint of vinegar in there, too, but it's fairly understated and undetectable.

I feel like I might have enjoyed this product a bit more if it weren't called "sriracha" since I get my hopes up every time I see "sriracha" plastered on a food product. If it had been called Trader Joe's Garlic and Cayenne Spicy Seasoning Blend, I might have been pleasantly surprised rather than slightly let down.

And once again, if the apocalypse finally arrives and the supply chain breaks down and real sriracha is nowhere to be found, I must say this seasoning will certainly be better than no sriracha at all...but that's not really saying that much. Sonia feels the same.

$2.99 for the 2.5 oz shaker. Three stars from me for Trader Joe's Sriracha Sprinkle Seasoning Blend. Sonia will throw out three and a half.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's All Butter Shortbread Sandwich Cookies with Raspberry Filling

All butter? ALL butter? It seems to me there's some wheat flour, sugared eggs, and skim milk powder in there, too, Trader Joe. I'm not sure how you can claim it's all butter.

But hey, I'm not complaining. I'm just being silly, as I am wont to do. Long story short, Trader Joe's All Butter Shortbread Sandwich Cookies are some tasty morsels. Weirdly, I liked the raspberry filling at least as much as the shortbread element.

The shortbread is significantly buttery, which is good. But I wouldn't say it's like the best shortbread I've ever had or anything like that. I just really, really like the way it blends with the sweet, smooth, syrupy raspberry filling. I could eat that raz jam all by itself. You can see from the pic there's only a narrow gap of razzle dazzle in between the slabs of shortbread.

After consuming three cookies each in rapid succession, Sonia and I fought each other for the remaining specimens. Unfortunately, there are only ten total in the pack. So 60% of the box was gone within seconds of opening it. We managed to call a truce and wait until the next morning, when we were able to put our ravenous shortbread gluttony in check and evenly split the remainder of the box: two more cookies each.

I wish there were more raspberry filling in each cookie. I wish there were way more cookies in the pack. I wish the product were a wee bit cheaper than three bucks. Still, we'll bestow upon Trader Joe's All Butter Shortbread Sandwich Cookies with a Raspberry Filling an above average score with four out of five stars from yours truly and four and a half out of five from the beautiful wifey. Would buy again.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meatless Ground

I wasn't particularly excited to try this product. I felt like it had a higher-than-average potential to be weird or gross. I have mixed feelings about all these newfangled fake meat products like Beyond and Impossible, etc. My experiences have ranged from being delighted by Del Taco's Beyond Tacos to spewing from both ends for about 18 hours straight after consuming an undercooked Booger King Impossible Whopper. Trader Joe's even offered their own Protein Patties a few years back. Not sure if they're around anymore.

What do all those bogus burger brands have in common? They're all refrigerated...like real meat. This stuff is dry and shelf stable at room temperature with a best by date about a year in the future. You reconstitute it yourself with hot water and oil. So...that just ups the potential nasty-factor exponentially if you ask me.

And yeah. It's weird. It's kinda gross. I suppose if you love the flavor of pea protein, you might like this. That's key for me: meatless meat can have pea protein in the ingredients all day long, but it can't actually taste like pea protein. In my humble opinion, this stuff tastes quite a bit like good, old fashioned pea protein and doesn't even come close to any meats I've ever had. They say it's like ground turkey or chicken. And while I'll admit it smelled and looked a bit like chicken while cooking, it definitely doesn't taste that way.

The texture is like wads of soggy paper. Not a fan. I tried cooking it and browning it a bit longer, but to no avail. Charred wads of soggy paper don't taste much better than undercooked wads of soggy paper.

There's a recipe for Meatless Macaroni on TJ's website. Lacking a few of the key ingredients, we whipped up a makeshift version of it, and it was...edible, thanks to the generous amounts of cheese and pasta we used.

$3.99 for the four serving resealable bag. I like the idea of having shelf stable "meat" ready in the back of the pantry for the day when real meat is unavailable for whatever reason, but this just isn't good enough for a repurchase. I've enjoyed fake meat and vegan burgers many, many times, but I can't say I'm an admirer of this product. Definitely wouldn't buy again. Two stars from me. Sonia will be even less lenient and throw out only one star for Trader Joe's Meatless Ground Plant-Based Crumbles.

Bottom line: 3 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chevre with Honey

I learned to appreciate goat cheese at a very young age, but for many, many years I saw it only as a savory, salty kind of food and couldn't see pairing it with anything dessert-esque or adding anything sweet to it.

Trader Joe's changed all that with their affordable line of exotic cheeses including Blueberry Chevre and Cranberry Chevre. I get it now. Chevre, in particular, does lend itself to sweet ingredients. Fruits, or in this case honey, can balance out the tartness of the rich, creamy cheese and add a satisfying lusciousness to it. Sweet chevre and crackers have become one of my favorite hors d'oeuvres in recent years.

Some of you might recall Trader Joe's Jalapeño and Honey Chevre. I think that one's still my favorite, but if you're not into jalapeños or not craving anything spicy at the moment, this is a great sweet-tart cheese to reach for. It's best with water crackers or brioche toast so the flavors of the honey and cheese can shine without any competition from the bread.

I'm sure there's a bunch of other stuff you could do with this cheese: add it to a berry salad, have it with fruit, or maybe just pair it with a nice Sauvignon Blanc. For $2.99, it's a great way to jazz up any get together or party with high class appetizers that won't break the bank.

Sonia gives Trader Joe's Chevre with Honey Goat's Milk Cheese four and a half out of five stars. I give it four out of five.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Riced Hearts of Palm

Trader Joe's is discovering that hearts of palm are nearly as versatile as cauliflower. We've already looked at Trader Joe's Hearts of Palm Pasta, and I've already given my contemplative spiel about palm trees, so this time we'll just jump right into the food review.

Inside the box, there's a plastic pouch full of the riced hearts of palm. After snipping the corner or top of the pouch, you have to squeeze the contents out in the manner of toothpaste from a tube. They land in your saucepan resembling a lumpy wet mass. Not particularly appetizing. The smell is odd and excessively planty, similar to the pasta version, but not something that's familiar otherwise. Again, not particularly appetizing.

After heating, however, the product improves drastically both in smell and appearance. The aroma gets richer and more earthy, almost squash-like. The little palm pieces start to resemble actual rice as the liquids are partially cooked away.

The finished product is still a little wetter than actual rice somehow. The pieces are slightly more gelatinous than grainy. Still, they're quite edible. They need some fixins, though. The box recommends serving the dish with olive oil, veggies, and spices. I tried experimenting with a bunch of TJ's seasonings but nothing stood out head and shoulders above the others.

I like traditional rice the best. And I'd probably take riced cauliflower over this stuff. Still, this isn't a bad option. I wouldn't go out of my way to purchase Trader Joe's Riced Hearts of Palm again, but if someone served it to me as a side dish, I would eat it without complaint.

$3.49 for the 9 oz package. Vegan. Gluten free. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ketchup Flavored Sprinkle Seasoning Blend

When I was a kid, people used to tell me, "Your taste buds will change, Nathan, and you'll grow to love tomatoes." Yuck. Raw tomatoes never did it for me. I would eat all manner of fruits and even most veggies as a young kid, but I could never get into the taste of raw tomato.

Now, ketchup, on the other hand, was an absolute staple of my diet. I was fine with tomato soup, tomato sauce, and tomato everything—just not the fruit they were all derived from. Due to food allergies and sensitivities, I'd often have nothing but a plain burger for breakfast as a child. No bread. No cheese. It was sometimes beef, but often bison or something more exotic. As long as I could have it with ketchup, I was a happy camper.

I'd put ketchup on fries, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and pretty much any kind of meat. I loved the stuff. I still do, although I prefer hot sauce on eggs and hash browns now. But if Sonia and I get burgers and fries, I absolutely need a bunch of ketchup to go with my food.

So I simply assumed I'd love Trader Joe's Ketchup Sprinkle Seasoning Blend. Powdered ketchup. Why not?

But I don't love it. And I can't quite put my finger on why it's nowhere near as good as real ketchup. So far I've only tried it on fries and burgers. It doesn't really work in either case.

The beautiful wifey tried to stay positive and pointed out that if for some reason the apocalypse comes and fresh ketchup is no longer available and we've used up all our spare packets from fast food places, that Trader Joe's Ketchup Flavored Sprinkle Seasoning Blend would be better than nothing. Yeah, I guess. I'm reluctant to even give it that much credit. But yeah. If real ketchup were to suddenly vanish from the earth, I guess this ketchup-themed condiment would be better than nothing at all.

It tastes like powdered tomato and sugar. Weirdly, I feel like it tastes more like tomato than actual ketchup does. Maybe that's why I don't like it that much. Maybe folks who actually like the taste of tomato, like Sonia, will enjoy this more than I do. It's just a theory, but I think there may be something to it.

I would never purchase this again. It's worse than the worst real ketchup I've ever had: the ketchup from fast food restaurants in Europe. Their ketchup is like three quarters vinegar. Blech.

Time will tell whether Sonia likes it enough to use it up and get another shaker. My gut says she won't use it much, if at all. She'll give it a decent score, though. Three and a half stars from her.

$2.99 for the 2.6 oz shaker. I'll give Trader Joe's Ketchup Seasoning Blend two out of five stars. Better than no ketchup at all...but that's as far as I'll go.

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Maple Pancake Flavored Puffs

Usually Trader Joe's rolls out maple stuff in the fall, but I believe these little beauties debuted last month. Right now is actual maple harvest season—February into April, so let's take a look, shall we?

I was highly skeptical of these puffs before trying them. I mean, I love corn and rice-based snacks. They're so light and crispy and snackable. I'm thinking: Bambas, The World's Puffiest Sour Cream & Onion Puffs, and classic snacks like Pirate's Booty. They've generally been savory flavors like white cheddar cheese, rather than sweet, although a couple versions of the Bambas featured peanut butter and cocoa. How would they work with maple flavoring?

At first bite, both Sonia and I were a little weirded out, honestly. The texture was no surprise. Trader Joe's Maple Pancake Flavored Puffs are identical to all the above-mentioned puffs in terms of their crispy, crunchy mouthfeel. On the other hand, the taste was a brand new experience.

There's an amber dusting on each puff. It looks a bit like cinnamon, but it tastes distinctly mapley. It's also oddly buttery, too. Just like a real pancake. The flavor grew on me quickly.

Not the beautiful wifey, however. She was still saying they tasted weird after a couple handfuls and told me I could finish the bag. I happily did. It took me more than one sitting, but I finished the whole thing in less than 24 hours. I thought they were addicting.

$2.49 for the 4 oz bag. Vegan. Gluten free. I'd buy again. Sonia wouldn't. She says she didn't think they were gross per se, but rather they're just not her thing. She'd prefer a cheese or sour cream and onion flavored puff.

I think these could easily become churro flavored puffs if they substituted cinnamon for the maple and molasses flavors. I'd try that version, too. Three out of five stars from Sonia on Trader Joe's Maple Pancake Flavored Puffs. Four and a half from this guy.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Blueberries and Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Strawberries

Well, friends, let's take a break from all of these seasonally-appropriate Valentine's treats and newfangled TJ's products for a moment as I throw out a looksee at what some might consider not-so-exciting pantry staple type fare once again: Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Strawberries and Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Blueberries.

Exciting or not, these two products have been available for quite a while and have stood the test of time at TJ's stores, unlike many of their more gimmicky products. They certainly aren't a bad thing to have on hand around the house. They are shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed, and of course, freeze-dried. Most preppers will tell you a product like this will still be perfectly edible and safe to consume years​ beyond the listed "best by" date, provided they are stored in a cool, dry place.

They are "unsulfured," which is nice, because I'm not a huge fan of the taste of sulfur. They're also "unsweetened," which is fine, because, well you know... they're berries. And berries are already sweet. They're light, brittle, and crunchy, which is fun. I can eat 'em straight out of the bag and finish it in one or two sittings.

Sonia likes to put Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Blueberries and Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Strawberries on her morning oatmeal. Sometimes she'll throw them in with a plain cereal like Corn Flakes or Cheerios. They'd go well with plain yogurt or even vanilla ice cream. I've heard some people smash them into dust and use it as a topping for cupcakes and such. Haven't tried that yet but I bet it's yummy.

The blueberry variety is $3.99 while the strawberry one is only $2.99. They're the exact same weight, so I guess blueberries are just a bit pricier than strawberries these days. Trader Joe's official website says they use 12 oz of actual fruit, which dehydrates down to 1.2 oz after undergoing the freeze drying process. Interesting.

They have a few other types of freeze dried fruits including mixed berries now. We'll pick those up soon, hopefully. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Strawberries and Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Blueberries four stars a piece. I do too.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's White Miso Paste

Up to this point, my experience with miso has simply been miso soup in Asian restaurants. Miso is generally made with fermented soy beans and sometimes, as is the case here, with rice. Every miso soup I've tried is a cloudy white/tan color, and it tastes mostly just salty. There has always been a faint savory, umami essence, too. I've had it plain, and I've had it a few times with noodles, tofu, and/or some sparse veggies like green onions and peas.

I guess you could look at Trader Joe's White Miso Paste as a shelf-stable base for multiple bowls of plain miso soup, or you could think of it as a unique Japanese condiment to put on...whatever. The pouch suggests adding it "to sauces, dressings, soups, and marinades." Okay.

I thought it might add a bit of fanciness and flair to a cheap cup of ramen, so that's how I experimented with it first. A few globs of the stuff added a slightly richer, fermented flavor to the otherwise thin, watery ramen broth. It took my soup one tiny step in the direction of "authentic Japanese restaurant fare" from "poor college kid instant lunch."

But in the end, it didn't really transform the meal in any significant way. I tried adding a few more globs, and honestly, there wasn't a whole lot of difference. It just made the broth cloudier and thicker, while only slightly enhancing the flavor.

We'll keep experimenting. Using it as a marinade on chicken or fish sounds fascinating to me, but I don't think I'll get around to that before I put up this blog post. Let us know if you've tried anything like that in the comments below.

$2.99 for the pouch. Imported from Japan. Refrigerate after opening. Don't think we'd purchase again, but hey, let the adventure continue...

Three stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's White Miso Paste.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.