Trader Joe's Tiny Fruity Cuties Cereal

In 2013, we checked out the now defunct Trader Joe's Fruity O's. To be honest, I don't really remember what they were like, but at least I have that old review to jog my memory. I'd imagine these fruity cuties are quite similar, although I believe these are modeled after Trix while that old product was an imitation of Froot Loops.

This time around, instead of "O" shapes, we have fun, assorted fruit shapes, a la "Fruity Shapes" edition Trix cereal. Well, now that I take a closer look, are these really fruit shapes? They look like yellow and orange crescents alongside pink and purple flowers. Meh. Whatever.

It's been a hot minute since I've had Trix, but if memory serves correctly these do indeed taste similar to the classic General Mills offering. It's sweet and lightly fruity. The ingredients just say "natural flavors" so I'm not sure exactly what fruits are supposed to be represented here. I'd say it's something vaguely citrusy..? 

Most of these sugary corn-based cereals irritate the roof of my mouth after a bowlful, but I must say this one didn't seem quite as offensive as others on that front. These are just a tad softer, although I've heard this product gets stale and hard rather easily.

Despite being corn and oat-based, the product is not officially gluten-free since, according to the side panel, the product "may contain wheat." Good to know.

$3.99 for the 11 serving box. Kosher. Product of Canada. Would buy again. Sonia's score: 8/10. Nathan's score: 7/10 for Trader Joe's Tiny Fruity Cuties Cereal.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Korean Beefless Bulgogi

Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.

I've always found that quote to be mostly accurate. I mean, none of us are immune from chatting about our fellow humans once in a while, but some folks are just absolutely fixated on gossip. I'm far from perfect and have my fair share of faults, but if you're focused on other people all the time, doesn't that imply that you lack purpose? If you're a man (or woman) on a mission, then you've got far better things to do with your time than wonder what others are doing with theirs. I digress.

One line I'd add to that brilliant quote in the opening paragraph: hungry minds discuss food. So let's do just that.

It's a fascinating idea: vegan meat being eaten by non-vegans. Why do it? Because once in a while the fake meat is as good or better than the real thing. I've only heard high praise about this product so I figured it was worth a whirl. Thanks for the rec, Alek.

The flavor of this meatless meat is savory and succulent. There's an interesting array of essences including soy, garlic, pear, apple, and onion. It's very similar to the traditional bulgogi in terms of flavor, but I don't think I like this offering quite as much.

Texture-wise, it's the opposite, surprisingly. I like the feel of this bulgogi just slightly more than the sometimes-gristly dead cow version. This bulgogi is moderately chewy and imitates the mouthfeel of fatty meat. Fatty meat isn't my favorite, but it's better than gristle.

Each piece is a uniform size, which I like. Real bulgogi usually includes big long stringy pieces and tiny pieces and everything in between. Also these are quite thin. Considering their chewiness, any thicker would have made the mastication process overly difficult. Both Sonia and I wish there was a bit more sauce. Most bulgogi is significantly wetter and saucier than this offering, which might be attributable in part to the fact that we heated these in the air fryer.

$4.99 for a decent amount of vegan bulgogi. Sonia and I both give the same score on this one, and in the end, it'll get the exact same score we gave to the beef-ful bulgogi. Seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Beefless Bulgogi.

What do you think of this product? Have you tried both the regular bulgogi and the vegan bulgogi from Trader Joe's? Are you vegan and really love or really hate this product? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brookie Caramel Candy Clusters

Brookies are brownies crossed with cookies. And while these chocolatey treats are very cookie-esque, there's not much in the way of brownie texture to be found. Really, even flavor-wise, they don't taste like brownies either.

They taste like dark chocolate, salted caramel, pretzels, and cookies all smooshed together. That's basically what they feel like, too. They're crunchy and crispy with very little doughiness or soft brownie texture. The caramel is gooey and helps break up the harder elements a bit. I would have called these do-dads "prookies." You know, pretzel plus cookie equals prookie. Oh well.

Dark chocolate and salted caramel go quite well together. It's not my favorite combo in the world, personally, but you folks who do enjoy it will certainly like these. They're sweet, rich, and decadent. Both Sonia and I can only handle one or two at a time, though. And I absolutely have to have a swig or two of milk after snacking on these.

$3.99 for the seven serving resealable bag. It's really a decent product but just not our thing in the end. Let us know if you're a fan of this product down in the comments section. Sonia's score: 7/10. Nathan's score: 6/10 for Trader Joe's Brookie Caramel Candy Clusters.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken Breakfast Sausage Patties

Long before we met, growing up over 2500 miles away from one another, Sonia and I both decided we weren't huge fans of traditional pork breakfast sausage. I know many of you are fans of pork sausage, so I won't ramble on about it too long. I mean, "you do you," as they say. I get it that we're the oddballs. We're the weirdos, not you. I just want to establish that before I get inundated with comments about how this chicken sausage tastes nothing like classically-seasoned breakfast meat.

And that's why we like it. It's a distinctly chicken flavor with a nice subtle spice blend that complements the patty. It has a "lighter" taste than traditional sausage, if that makes sense. The sausage is perfectly palatable on its own, but it blends well with English muffins, eggs, cheese, and other breakfast sandwich type ingredients. I'm usually the ketchup fiend, but Sonia found the sausage paired well with the tomato-based condiment, while I threw a bit of mayo on mine. Pretty sure mustard, hot sauce, or any other common topping would work here as well.

Despite there being air fryer instructions on the bag, I opted to heat these on the skillet. Sonia even let me use her super expensive Gordon Ramsay HexClad pan for the first time. That's just eggs on the pan, by the way. They were cooked immediately before these sausage patties. I don't want people to think we don't wash our cookware. Anyway, the patties darkened nicely and had a great taste and texture right from the get-go.

There are six of 'em in the resealable bag. Three bucks for the whole thing. That's 50¢ per patty. What can you get for 50¢ these days? Not much. Not a whole lot of delectable breakfast items, that's for sure. Good value, I'd say.

Would buy again. Antibiotic free. Hormone free. Gluten free. Sonia's score: 9/10. Nathan's score 8/10 for Trader Joe's Chicken Breakfast Sausage Patties.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dulce de Leche Ice Cream

Before we dive into this ice cream review, let's talk about dulce de leche: what it is and our previous experience with it. Years ago, we reviewed Trader Joe's Dulce de Leche, a pretty basic caramel spread, and I took a lot of flack in the comments from people who apparently have more experience with it than I do. The literal translation of dulce de leche is "sweet of milk." I'm not saying that's a good translation, I'm saying that's what those words literally mean.

With the source language set to Spanish and the input words as "dulce de leche," Google translate now comes back with "caramel sauce" in English. That's really all it is. This Trader Joe's product is from the US. It's not imported from another country, as many of their products are. I'm pretty sure they call it "dulce de leche" simply because it sounds more exotic than "caramel."

Sonia grew up eating a Mexican caramel known as "cajeta," which is basically a rich, sweetened reduction of goat's milk. I grew up with good old American caramel, routinely debating friends and strangers alike on the proper pronunciation of the word. It's CARE-a-mel, btw. You CAR-muhl people are wrong. Fight me.

At any rate, this is some good ice cream. Sonia says it's on par with Häagen-Dazs as far as richness and creaminess goes, and she loves the caramel swirl. I wish there were just a tad bit more caramel, but it's pretty delish as is.

I generally prefer ice cream with chunks of something like pretzels or cookies or cookie dough, but as far as smooth ice creams go, this is definitely above average. It's especially good when it's nearly melted. One of our readers mentioned that it pairs well with those dark chocolate waffle cone tips we reviewed recently, as TJ's was serving them together at their free sample station. I absolutely agree that the combo works quite well.

$3.79 for the pint. Kosher. Would buy again. Sonia's score: 9/10. Nathan's score 8/10 for Trader Joe's Dulce de Leche Ice Cream.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Family Style Meat Lasagna

"This tastes just like Stouffer's lasagna, back when Stouffer's was actually good," remarked Sonia. And although I can't remember if I ever had Stouffer's frozen lasagna in the 80s or 90s, I can kinda guess what the beautiful wifey's talking about. This tastes like really good institutional type lasagna. Think: top-notch college dining commons or expensive prep school cafeteria or maybe even all-you-can-eat Vegas casino buffet on a day when the new line cook who really cares about his job is running the show back in the kitchen.

The only thing better is homemade. Or maybe like a decent mom and pop's Italian restaurant could outdo this Trader Joe's selection, but I mean, it's not really fair to compare this with something some super Italian grandma makes for her loved ones. Not that we're experts, but we'd both probably say it's among the best frozen lasagna we've ever had.

I wish there were more ricotta cheese and more garlic flavor. But there's plenty of pasta sheets and tomato sauce. A lot of folks might say there's not enough meat in this product, but Sonia and I were fine with the amount in the sauce. We wish it were only beef rather than beef and pork, but that's probably not an issue for most folks unless they're kosher or halal.

$6.99 for a huge amount of tasty lasagna. Would possibly buy again, and would definitely try an all-beef version. Product of Canada. Shout out to Trader Guido...I mean Trader Giotto. We've missed you. Nathan's score: 7/10. Sonia's score: 8/10.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Boba Mochi

I like my women like I like my boba mochi: brown and petite, soft and sweet.

But seriously though, the texture of these little mochi balls is on point. Sonia calls them "pillowy," and she's not wrong. They're just so super soft and squishy in the best way possible. They have a typical flexible rice-based shell dusted with a starchy powder, then the filling is like a creamy goo—slightly stiffer than, say, red bean paste, but still velvety and mushy. In the center is a gelatinous tapioca-based ball like you'd find at the bottom of a cup of boba tea. Texture-wise, these treats are near-perfect.

As far as flavor is concerned, they're not bad, but they're not the flavor explosion I was hoping they'd be. There's definitely some brown sugar sweetness in there, but I was hoping the filling would be just a little richer. Boba balls generally don't pack a lot of punch as far as taste is concerned. They just provide a fun texture to whatever beverage they find themselves in, with said beverage providing most of the flavor.

Without going overboard, I think these snacks might have benefited from a layer of caramel or some kind of sugary syrup to enhance the brown sugar taste. Sonia thinks a spicy chai flavor would have worked here. I agree.

There's a lot of packaging involved. They come in a non-resealable bag with an oxygen absorber/desiccant, but each mochi is individually wrapped. That must be how the texture stays so amazing.

$2.99 for about a dozen small mochi snacks. Gluten free. Product of Taiwan. Would possibly buy again. Sonia's score: 8/10. Nathan's score: 7/10.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Egg Salad

Sonia loves eggs. Maybe not every morning, but most mornings, the first things she'll do after getting up is fire up the coffee maker and grab a few eggs from the fridge. Within minutes she's sipping java and making an egg sandwich with cheese or some sort of omelette.

Me? I like eggs, but I kinda have to be in a certain mood. If I force myself to eat eggs when I'm not hungry for them, I get a little nauseous. But every once in a while I get a specific hankering, and in those instances only eggs will hit the spot. I'm weird like that.

It's a similar situation with egg salad and egg salad sandwiches. If we're traveling and we stop for gas at any random convenience store, Sonia will gravitate toward an egg salad sandwich, if available, more often than not. But it's usually pretty low on my list of preferences...unless I've got that craving.

One thing we do agree upon: this egg salad is not very good. It's bland. It lacks richness, creaminess, and flavor. It tastes and feels watery. Things like mayonnaise and mustard are listed in the ingredients, but they simply don't show up in the flavor of the product, so we wound up adding our own. We both tasted something similar to dill in the egg salad, but there's no "dill" mentioned on the packaging. We're perplexed on that one.

This isn't the first sub-par egg salad we've seen from TJ's. The Spicy Ranchero Egg White Salad comes to mind. I thought maybe egg yolks would help but apparently not. They're 0-2 as far as egg salad is concerned.

Now chicken salad, on the other hand, is a different story entirely.

If we lived any closer to a Trader Joe's, I think this might have been a "no-hassle refund" type situation. As it stands, we'll probably just force ourselves to finish this tub. I mean, it's edible, but this is most definitely not a repeat purchase. Sonia's score: 5/10. Nathan's score: 4/10

Bottom line: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Sugar Almonds

AI is scary. I asked perchance.org for "the latest Trader Joe's food product" and within a couple seconds, it had formulated Trader Joe's Chicken & Waffle Flavored Potato Chips, complete with an enticing product description and images of said fictitious food product. Of course the writing on the packaging is all gibberish and the description doesn't provide actual ingredients, but heck, I'm starting to wonder if Trader Joe's hasn't been doing this all along. I mean they do have some pretty tasty stuffing flavored chips, at least around Thanksgiving time.

What other ideas did artificial intelligence come up with? Products like Trader Joe's Mini Gummy Bears on a Chocolate Pool Day come to mind. I mean, whose brain thinks like that? WTF is a "chocolate pool day"?

All that to say that this isn't really all that weird an idea. I'm glad the guy who wants to dip everything in dark chocolate was absent at the product development meeting that day. Because these things are perfect just the way they are. They're delectable little bite-size candies with a whole almond and plenty of cinnamon and sugar.

In fact, if I had to complain about anything, I might want a little less cinnamon, sugar, and confectionery coating and more nut flavor. These little treats are creamy, sweet, and they have enough real cinnamon that you might start coughing if you eat them too fast.

Some of the spheres are bordering on being too big to eat in one bite. When you break them in half, you can see more than 50% of the product is that vanilla candy coating, so these are definitely heading in the direction of indulgent dessert rather than salty, nut-based snack. Sonia agrees, but she's definitely a big fan of these almonds.

$3.99 for the eight serving resealable bag. Would buy again. 9/10 stars from Sonia. 8/10 stars from me for Trader Joe's Cinnamon Sugar Almonds.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Garlicky Pasta

I've used the word "garlicky" on this blog many times, but I still have a problem with that "k" sneaking in there. There's no "k" in the word "garlic." But I guess we would want to pronounce it like an "s" sound without the "k." In other words "garlicy" looks like "garlissy," you know what I mean? We could always just hyphenate it like "garlic-y" like we do when the word is made-up or not-yet-recognized as a real word. But apparently folks use "garlicky" enough that it has an official spelling, and that spelling includes a "k" whether we like it or not.

So...this pasta is more garlicky than anything else. I guess it's pasta-y too, but all pasta is pasta-y, so that's not even worth mentioning. But I mean, if you're gonna call it "garlicky," I'd prefer it be really freaking garlicky than, you know, just kinda garlicky. And I mean, it comes covered in a medium-thick garlic sauce that is pretty tasty. It has a decent amount of garlic flavor. I guess I just want more, but then again I am a total garlic fiend. I think chunks of actual garlic might help, too.

Sonia loves this dish although she, too, wishes there were more garlic flavor. She added red pepper flakes to her portion of the bag and says it really helped open up the garlic essences in the sauce and gave the whole thing a little kick.

Texture-wise, the spaghetti-esque pasta pieces are soft and supple. The sauce is pretty smooth with no chunks of anything except some sparsely scattered bits of parsley. I think garlic, onions, scallions, or anything from the allium family could have helped not only in the flavor department but the texture one too. Carrots and bell peppers or any other basic veggies might have worked, like in the recently-reviewed stir fry.

Sonia is definitely a bigger fan than I am, but I'm not hating by any means. It looks like four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey and three and a half stars from me, meaning she'd give it a 9 out of 10 and I'd give it more like a 7 out of 10. 

Should I just do scores that way from now on? Should we each just give an "x out of 10" score and then we just average it for the bottom line? Is that less confusing than two "x out of 5" scores? Let me know in the comments.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hold the Cone Tips

Just the tip. Just for a second. Just to see how it feels.

That's a quote from Vince Vaughn's character in The Wedding Crashers. Your guess is as good as mine as to what he was alluding to in that instance. For all I know, it could have been a reference to sampling Trader Joe's Just the Tip chocolate-filled waffle cone snacks...or whatever they're called.

I guess some people think the tip is the best part of the waffle cone. I won't argue with that assertion. But to me, the best thing about the tip of the ice cream cone is that last little bit of semi-melted ice cream. The cone itself is just fine, but without ice cream, it's a little on the plain side. Substituting ice cream with a slab of dark chocolate is a clever idea, but does it work? In my opinion: sorta.

It really just makes me wish I had an ice cream cone. But then again, I'm one of those unsophisticated folks who never learned to appreciate dark chocolate as much as its sweeter milk and white chocolate cousins. I might have even preferred a waffle cone tip stuffed with vanilla icing or some type of creamy frosting. Oh well.

The beautiful wifey generally enjoys dark chocolate. Her take on the tips: "They're boring. And the chocolate is too hard. I want ice cream in my waffle cones." There you have it. That's the consensus in our household.

Check out our blog for reviews of other products in this Hold the Cone series from Trader Joe's, most of which contain, you know, actual ice cream: Chocolate. Ginger Pumpkin. Coffee. Dairy Free. And even one called Hold the Corn!

$3.99 for the 3.5 serving box. Final scores? Put Sonia down for three out of five stars. I'll be nice and throw out three and a half for the sake of you dark chocolate lovers, but I don't think either of us would buy again.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dried Australian Red Papaya

We've been chowing down on carbs, curds, cookies, and candies lately, so for the sakes of both our health and reputation, it's high time we looked at something at least a little health conscious. Ah, here. This exotic papaya comes all the way from the land of Oz. Sonia and I both love dried papaya, so this red version must be even more amazing, right?

Wrong. You've heard of "fruit leather"? This stuff is the closest thing I've ever had to the actual texture of leather. It's crazy hard. It's extremely thin and hard to chew. Other dried papaya we've had contains a bit of moisture and juiciness. It seems this product has had all the wetness stripped out of it completely.

It's not particularly sweet. I can't even really describe the taste. There's something almost akin to black licorice in the flavor profile. It's similar to other papaya but not very sweet and not juicy. Honestly, the product it reminds me of the most is last year's disappointing Dried Cantaloupe Slices.

After lavishing all the recently-reviewed junk food with accolades, praise, and high scores, we really wanted to love this no-fat, low-carb selection but simply couldn't get into it. There's plenty of other delicious dried fruit products from Trader Joe's, but this one will get a thumbs down from both of us.

$2.99 for the resealable bag. Would not buy again. Two stars from Sonia, two and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Dried Australian Red Papaya.

Bottom line: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Breaded Cheddar Cheese Curds

I was born and raised in the Northeast, and since then I've lived in the South, on the West Coast, and in the Midwest. So I can tell you from experience that cheese curds are very much part of midwestern culture in a way that folks from other regions might not understand. For example, many midwestern fast food joints and mom and pop's restaurants offer your choice of French fries or cheese curds to go with your hamburger.

The cheese in most curds that I've tried is stiffer than what you'd find in a typical mozzarella stick. It's "squeaky" cheese. Like mozz sticks, however, they tend to be a little greasy and covered in a thin breading. Cheese curds are served hot, and they come to you nice and soft with a few little cheese bubbles on the outside of the breading, but they're rarely melting and oozing the way mozzarella sticks do. They're part of the comfort food culture here in the Upper Midwest and Sonia and I have taken quite a liking to them, particularly when served in tomato soup.

We used the air fryer heating method which involved pre-heating for about 5 minutes and cooking for an additional 5. The curds came out crispy and lightly brown on the outside and soft and squishy inside. They might have been a little softer than your average midwestern cheese curd, but the flavor was delightful—a robust burst of rich cheddar in every bite.

Folks round these parts tend to eat their cheese curds with ranch or gravy, but I prefer marinara sauce when it comes to dipping these delicious do-dads. Trader Joe's Cheese Curds don't really need any condiments, but they pair nicely with tomato sauce or ranch. I also made a spicy, exotic international dip that worked well by mixing ranch with sriracha and gochujang. The artwork on the packaging appears to depict a serving suggestion that involves dipping cheddar cheese curds into...more cheddar? That seems inappropriate...perhaps even vulgar.

But I'm not one to judge. Folks from Wisconsin would probably say it's blasphemous to eat cheese curds with spaghetti sauce but that's still my favorite topping for these noshable niblets. Sonia likes them sans sauces. Whatever tickles your pickle, as they say.

$4.99 for the 5 serving bag. Would buy again. Four stars a piece from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Breaded Cheddar Cheese Curds.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Lemon Flower Cookies

I'm on record saying lemon is an excellent summer flavor at least once or twice on the blog. If I had to pick a season other than summer when lemon snacks can shine bright like the sun, the obvious choice would be spring. There are bright yellow flowers everywhere in the springtime...and serendipitously, lemons are bright yellow, too.

In the tradition of Trader Joe's Raspberry Hearts, these are seasonal shortbread sandwich cookies with fruit flavored filling. This time it's lemon instead of raspberry...which most of you probably figured out already. The shortbread is once again high quality, fresh, crumbly, and sweet, and the jam is delectably lemontastic.

I was pleasantly surprised with the level of lemonosity in these yellow yum-yums. I generally have to complain that Trader Joe's lemon products aren't lemony enough. These cookies might not be the most lemon-laden treats I've ever tried, but they pack a pungent punch of citrus satisfaction.

Sonia is hit or miss with lemon sometimes, but she genuinely enjoyed these flavorful flowers. Once again, they are two typical shortbread cookies stacked on top of one another with a layer of lemon lusciousness in between the two cookies, which yields a fairly fat cookie. If the beautiful wifey and I have one complaint about these, it's that they're too tall. We'd prefer flat shortbread cookies with lemon filling baked into them somehow.

But that's being picky. These are great sweet, tart, buttery cookie treats, and yes, we'd both buy them again. $5.99 for 18 cookies. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four stars from me for Trader Joe's Lemon Flower Cookies, found in the baked goods section.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Vanilla Bean Paste

For some crazy reason I was thinking this would be, you know, a paste. It's not. It's a syrup. In case you were wondering, yes, this is my first vanilla bean "paste" purchase. I realize Trader Joe's didn't invent this stuff. But a paste is somewhere in between solid and liquid. This is just a sticky fluid with bean bits in it. I dunno, man. That's my story and I'm sticking to it: vanilla bean paste is a syrup, not a paste. I'll die on that hill.

Not that it matters. It's still thick. It's still yummy. It's like vanilla extract but sweeter, thicker, tastier, and beanier—with way less alcohol flavor. Yes, it's much thicker than vanilla extract but not so thick that you'd call it a paste. But whatevs.

Apparently all vanilla bean "paste" is like this. It's very much on par with chocolate syrup in terms of thickness and sweetness, but with a distinctly vanilla aroma and essence. I guess it's kinda odd to review chocolate syrup and vanilla syrup in such a short span of time, but hey, what's done is done.

The best part about this product: the little vanilla bean specks. You can change regular boring vanilla ice cream to vanilla bean ice cream with just a teaspoon or two of this stuff. Or add it to smoothies, coffee, whipped cream, overnight oats, French toast, or cake mix. We did all of the above. Well, not the cake mix. Not yet. If there's any of this bottle still left in two months, I'll request a birthday cake with vanilla bean paste in the batter.

Five bucks for a tiny bottle of potent vanilla, complete with beanage. Comparable bottles from other brands apparently go for $20-$25. I like it. Sonia likes it. We would buy Trader Joe's Organic Vanilla Bean Paste again...even though it's clearly a thick syrup, not a paste.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peas & Carrots Sour Gummy Candies

This is, like, totally the worst way to get your vegetables. But hey, there is some spirulina in there for color. So maybe that counts, right?

I don't think these candies are very sour at all. The carrots have some of that "sour sugar" on the outside but are otherwise just normal sweet gummy candy. Sonia says the peas are sorta kinda approaching an acceptable level of sourness but not quite attaining it. They're the opposite of the carrots: their insides are sourer than their stiff outer shell.

Made of mainly glucose syrup and sugar, the texture of the candy is hard to describe. The carrots are softer than the peas. It's a mouthfeel similar to that of Sunkist Fruit Gems, slightly different than your run-of-the-mill Sour Patch Kids or Swedish Fish—firm but gelatinous at the same time. Sonia says they're more dense than your average gummy candy.

The peas have an almost plasticky outer layer. The outside part almost feels like one of those old school glossy gumballs. The insides are soft and slightly chewy, and they taste moderately tart I guess.

$1.29 per 3 oz bag. Bring back the Ts & Js, TJ's. Sonia and I both like the Sour Scandinavian Swimmers more than these. I'm not saying I wouldn't eat a few peas and carrots if I had low blood sugar and somebody tossed me a bag of these guys, but neither Sonia nor I would buy these again. Two and a half stars from me. Three stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Peas & Carrots Sour Gummy Candies.

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bake At Home Organic Garlic Bread

I really try not to let other people on the internet influence my opinion when writing reviews, but in this instance I couldn't escape all of the negative chatter about this product. Some folks were even circulating rumors that Trader Joe's corporate had directed store managers to take this bread off the shelves at certain(?) stores. Others said crazy things like their family of 15 couldn't even finish the six serving loaf and loads of other such nonsensical hyperbole.

I'm here to tell you it's not that bad. Is it great? No. But it's not terrible in our humble opinions. I mean, it's an odd concept: organic bread vacuum sealed up in plastic and preserved like King Tut, complete with oxygen absorber. There's even garlic spread already spread in between the two halves of the loaf. Then you unseal it, even out the spread between the halves, and toss it into the oven for 15 minutes at 425°F.

The bread kinda smelled like sourdough and plastic even after removing all the packaging. It browned nicely in the oven and came out smelling a bit better than when it went in. The top half of the loaf was inordinately thin and the bottom half was equally thick, so the top wound up being crispy and overly crunchy while the bottom remained doughy and much softer—although honestly, both halves were quite stiff and chewy.

As weird as it looked and smelled, I thought the taste of the garlic spread was okay. The bread itself wasn't bad either, but nor was it anything special. Mind you, this bread had a "best by" date of July 2nd (purchased this past Sunday). That's "fresh-baked" bread that can sit on your kitchen counter for almost three months...at least in theory anyway.

$3.99 for the loaf. Interesting concept. Don't think I'd buy again. Still, it isn't anywhere near as awful as some people are saying it is. Sonia and I polished most of it off in the course of a single day. Easy enough to prepare. It's just a little tougher than I'd have liked, texture-wise, and the flavor was just good but not stellar—far from inedible, but certainly a little weird. Three and a half stars from Sonia. Three stars from me for Trader Joe's Bake At Home Organic Garlic Bread.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.