Trader Joe's Mini Chocolate Mousse Flowers

Ah, those cute little flowers. So springy. So chocolatey. So...exactly like the pumpkins, presents, hearts, and Easter eggs. And yet...I dunno. Did they change the recipe recently?

I checked the ingredients for Trader Joe's For the Love of Chocolate Mousse Cake and compared them against these happy morsels and discovered that their ingredients are not exactly the same. Sonia and I felt like these were just a shade better than all those other options but failed to pinpoint why.

One theory I have is that every other time we've tried them, it's been quite cold. Think about it: Halloween, Christmas, and Valentine's Day are all generally chilly times of the year. Easter is often cold here in the Upper Midwest, too. We finally tried them in the relative heat and found them much softer and a little more melt-in-your-mouth delightful.

I mean, they're still nowhere near as good as the Raspberry Mousse Cakes in my humble opinion, but these aren't bad at all. They still have that half cake, half mousse filling with a soft, sweet confectionery candy shell, and of course there are some fun, springy colors and packaging. Definitely a step up from Little Debbie or any other cheapo snack cake from a mainstream grocery store. I've heard some folks like to freeze these before consuming, but I'm skeptical...

I think we'd buy again. Four bucks for six little flowers. Sonia's score: 8/10. Nathan's score: 8/10 for Trader Joe's Mini Chocolate Mousse Flowers.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Fantasy Becomes Cereality (Official Video)

Trader Joe's Tiny Fruity Cuties Cereal

In 2013, we checked out the now defunct Trader Joe's Fruity O's. To be honest, I don't really remember what they were like, but at least I have that old review to jog my memory. I'd imagine these fruity cuties are quite similar, although I believe these are modeled after Trix while that old product was an imitation of Froot Loops.

This time around, instead of "O" shapes, we have fun, assorted fruit shapes, a la "Fruity Shapes" edition Trix cereal. Well, now that I take a closer look, are these really fruit shapes? They look like yellow and orange crescents alongside pink and purple flowers. Meh. Whatever.

It's been a hot minute since I've had Trix, but if memory serves correctly these do indeed taste similar to the classic General Mills offering. It's sweet and lightly fruity. The ingredients just say "natural flavors" so I'm not sure exactly what fruits are supposed to be represented here. I'd say it's something vaguely citrusy..? 

Most of these sugary corn-based cereals irritate the roof of my mouth after a bowlful, but I must say this one didn't seem quite as offensive as others on that front. These are just a tad softer, although I've heard this product gets stale and hard rather easily.

Despite being corn and oat-based, the product is not officially gluten-free since, according to the side panel, the product "may contain wheat." Good to know.

$3.99 for the 11 serving box. Kosher. Product of Canada. Would buy again. Sonia's score: 8/10. Nathan's score: 7/10 for Trader Joe's Tiny Fruity Cuties Cereal.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Korean Beefless Bulgogi

Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.

I've always found that quote to be mostly accurate. I mean, none of us are immune from chatting about our fellow humans once in a while, but some folks are just absolutely fixated on gossip. I'm far from perfect and have my fair share of faults, but if you're focused on other people all the time, doesn't that imply that you lack purpose? If you're a man (or woman) on a mission, then you've got far better things to do with your time than wonder what others are doing with theirs. I digress.

One line I'd add to that brilliant quote in the opening paragraph: hungry minds discuss food. So let's do just that.

It's a fascinating idea: vegan meat being eaten by non-vegans. Why do it? Because once in a while the fake meat is as good or better than the real thing. I've only heard high praise about this product so I figured it was worth a whirl. Thanks for the rec, Alek.

The flavor of this meatless meat is savory and succulent. There's an interesting array of essences including soy, garlic, pear, apple, and onion. It's very similar to the traditional bulgogi in terms of flavor, but I don't think I like this offering quite as much.

Texture-wise, it's the opposite, surprisingly. I like the feel of this bulgogi just slightly more than the sometimes-gristly dead cow version. This bulgogi is moderately chewy and imitates the mouthfeel of fatty meat. Fatty meat isn't my favorite, but it's better than gristle.

Each piece is a uniform size, which I like. Real bulgogi usually includes big long stringy pieces and tiny pieces and everything in between. Also these are quite thin. Considering their chewiness, any thicker would have made the mastication process overly difficult. Both Sonia and I wish there was a bit more sauce. Most bulgogi is significantly wetter and saucier than this offering, which might be attributable in part to the fact that we heated these in the air fryer.

$4.99 for a decent amount of vegan bulgogi. Sonia and I both give the same score on this one, and in the end, it'll get the exact same score we gave to the beef-ful bulgogi. Seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Beefless Bulgogi.

What do you think of this product? Have you tried both the regular bulgogi and the vegan bulgogi from Trader Joe's? Are you vegan and really love or really hate this product? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brookie Caramel Candy Clusters

Brookies are brownies crossed with cookies. And while these chocolatey treats are very cookie-esque, there's not much in the way of brownie texture to be found. Really, even flavor-wise, they don't taste like brownies either.

They taste like dark chocolate, salted caramel, pretzels, and cookies all smooshed together. That's basically what they feel like, too. They're crunchy and crispy with very little doughiness or soft brownie texture. The caramel is gooey and helps break up the harder elements a bit. I would have called these do-dads "prookies." You know, pretzel plus cookie equals prookie. Oh well.

Dark chocolate and salted caramel go quite well together. It's not my favorite combo in the world, personally, but you folks who do enjoy it will certainly like these. They're sweet, rich, and decadent. Both Sonia and I can only handle one or two at a time, though. And I absolutely have to have a swig or two of milk after snacking on these.

$3.99 for the seven serving resealable bag. It's really a decent product but just not our thing in the end. Let us know if you're a fan of this product down in the comments section. Sonia's score: 7/10. Nathan's score: 6/10 for Trader Joe's Brookie Caramel Candy Clusters.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken Breakfast Sausage Patties

Long before we met, growing up over 2500 miles away from one another, Sonia and I both decided we weren't huge fans of traditional pork breakfast sausage. I know many of you are fans of pork sausage, so I won't ramble on about it too long. I mean, "you do you," as they say. I get it that we're the oddballs. We're the weirdos, not you. I just want to establish that before I get inundated with comments about how this chicken sausage tastes nothing like classically-seasoned breakfast meat.

And that's why we like it. It's a distinctly chicken flavor with a nice subtle spice blend that complements the patty. It has a "lighter" taste than traditional sausage, if that makes sense. The sausage is perfectly palatable on its own, but it blends well with English muffins, eggs, cheese, and other breakfast sandwich type ingredients. I'm usually the ketchup fiend, but Sonia found the sausage paired well with the tomato-based condiment, while I threw a bit of mayo on mine. Pretty sure mustard, hot sauce, or any other common topping would work here as well.

Despite there being air fryer instructions on the bag, I opted to heat these on the skillet. Sonia even let me use her super expensive Gordon Ramsay HexClad pan for the first time. That's just eggs on the pan, by the way. They were cooked immediately before these sausage patties. I don't want people to think we don't wash our cookware. Anyway, the patties darkened nicely and had a great taste and texture right from the get-go.

There are six of 'em in the resealable bag. Three bucks for the whole thing. That's 50¢ per patty. What can you get for 50¢ these days? Not much. Not a whole lot of delectable breakfast items, that's for sure. Good value, I'd say.

Would buy again. Antibiotic free. Hormone free. Gluten free. Sonia's score: 9/10. Nathan's score 8/10 for Trader Joe's Chicken Breakfast Sausage Patties.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dulce de Leche Ice Cream

Before we dive into this ice cream review, let's talk about dulce de leche: what it is and our previous experience with it. Years ago, we reviewed Trader Joe's Dulce de Leche, a pretty basic caramel spread, and I took a lot of flack in the comments from people who apparently have more experience with it than I do. The literal translation of dulce de leche is "sweet of milk." I'm not saying that's a good translation, I'm saying that's what those words literally mean.

With the source language set to Spanish and the input words as "dulce de leche," Google translate now comes back with "caramel sauce" in English. That's really all it is. This Trader Joe's product is from the US. It's not imported from another country, as many of their products are. I'm pretty sure they call it "dulce de leche" simply because it sounds more exotic than "caramel."

Sonia grew up eating a Mexican caramel known as "cajeta," which is basically a rich, sweetened reduction of goat's milk. I grew up with good old American caramel, routinely debating friends and strangers alike on the proper pronunciation of the word. It's CARE-a-mel, btw. You CAR-muhl people are wrong. Fight me.

At any rate, this is some good ice cream. Sonia says it's on par with Häagen-Dazs as far as richness and creaminess goes, and she loves the caramel swirl. I wish there were just a tad bit more caramel, but it's pretty delish as is.

I generally prefer ice cream with chunks of something like pretzels or cookies or cookie dough, but as far as smooth ice creams go, this is definitely above average. It's especially good when it's nearly melted. One of our readers mentioned that it pairs well with those dark chocolate waffle cone tips we reviewed recently, as TJ's was serving them together at their free sample station. I absolutely agree that the combo works quite well.

$3.79 for the pint. Kosher. Would buy again. Sonia's score: 9/10. Nathan's score 8/10 for Trader Joe's Dulce de Leche Ice Cream.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Family Style Meat Lasagna

"This tastes just like Stouffer's lasagna, back when Stouffer's was actually good," remarked Sonia. And although I can't remember if I ever had Stouffer's frozen lasagna in the 80s or 90s, I can kinda guess what the beautiful wifey's talking about. This tastes like really good institutional type lasagna. Think: top-notch college dining commons or expensive prep school cafeteria or maybe even all-you-can-eat Vegas casino buffet on a day when the new line cook who really cares about his job is running the show back in the kitchen.

The only thing better is homemade. Or maybe like a decent mom and pop's Italian restaurant could outdo this Trader Joe's selection, but I mean, it's not really fair to compare this with something some super Italian grandma makes for her loved ones. Not that we're experts, but we'd both probably say it's among the best frozen lasagna we've ever had.

I wish there were more ricotta cheese and more garlic flavor. But there's plenty of pasta sheets and tomato sauce. A lot of folks might say there's not enough meat in this product, but Sonia and I were fine with the amount in the sauce. We wish it were only beef rather than beef and pork, but that's probably not an issue for most folks unless they're kosher or halal.

$6.99 for a huge amount of tasty lasagna. Would possibly buy again, and would definitely try an all-beef version. Product of Canada. Shout out to Trader Guido...I mean Trader Giotto. We've missed you. Nathan's score: 7/10. Sonia's score: 8/10.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Boba Mochi

I like my women like I like my boba mochi: brown and petite, soft and sweet.

But seriously though, the texture of these little mochi balls is on point. Sonia calls them "pillowy," and she's not wrong. They're just so super soft and squishy in the best way possible. They have a typical flexible rice-based shell dusted with a starchy powder, then the filling is like a creamy goo—slightly stiffer than, say, red bean paste, but still velvety and mushy. In the center is a gelatinous tapioca-based ball like you'd find at the bottom of a cup of boba tea. Texture-wise, these treats are near-perfect.

As far as flavor is concerned, they're not bad, but they're not the flavor explosion I was hoping they'd be. There's definitely some brown sugar sweetness in there, but I was hoping the filling would be just a little richer. Boba balls generally don't pack a lot of punch as far as taste is concerned. They just provide a fun texture to whatever beverage they find themselves in, with said beverage providing most of the flavor.

Without going overboard, I think these snacks might have benefited from a layer of caramel or some kind of sugary syrup to enhance the brown sugar taste. Sonia thinks a spicy chai flavor would have worked here. I agree.

There's a lot of packaging involved. They come in a non-resealable bag with an oxygen absorber/desiccant, but each mochi is individually wrapped. That must be how the texture stays so amazing.

$2.99 for about a dozen small mochi snacks. Gluten free. Product of Taiwan. Would possibly buy again. Sonia's score: 8/10. Nathan's score: 7/10.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.