Ah, here we have deliciously convenient No Boil Noodles. Let's make some for lunch today, shall we? I bet they're crazy easy to prepare. That's nice to not have to boil them. Let's see the heating instructions. <flips package> First, "Bring 4 quarts of water to a boil." Wait. What? <Rubs eyes> "Bring 4 quarts of water to a boil. Cook 5 minutes. Drain and serve." <flips package again> Reads product name: "Trader Joe's No Boil Noodles." <shakes head> For being "no boil" noodles, there's more boiling involved than I would have assumed.
Okay, okay. To be fair, that's only one of the recommended heating methods. The other simply involves stir frying the noodles with whatever sauce you want and does not involve boiling. But still...
No heating method seemed to give these noodles the perfect texture. They weren't hard per se, but they never got truly soft either. Cheap ramen has a better mouthfeel than these guys.
The noodles come in super-tangled nests. Only after heating them for a good long time do they start to unravel. Like most noodles, these are quite boring by themselves and are completely dependent upon sauces and additives to make them flavorful. We added onions, peppers, broccoli, and teriyaki sauce for a makeshift stir fry and found it palatable enough.
Sonia is pretty picky about her noodles and has tried many, many Asian noodle-based dishes. She's not exactly a connoisseur, but she knows what she likes and doesn't like. She's not hating on this particular product, but she definitely likes the Momofuku style squiggly noodles better than these.
$2.49 for 8.8 oz isn't a bad price. Product of Italy. We polished off the bag in short order but wouldn't buy these again. There are plenty of other cheap noodles out there that we like better than Trader Joe's No Boil Noodles. Three stars a piece from Sonia and me.
Here are a couple of cheesy dips that appeared at Trader Joe's around the holidays. As of the time this review is being composed, the hatch and jalapeño version shows still available on traderjoes.com while the asiago one does not. They both have a sour cream base, flaunt extremely similar packaging, and can be zapped in the microwave for quick and easy prepping or heated in a conventional oven. Unfortunately, I don't think there's any practical way to heat these in the air fryer. Boo.
But they're both quite tasty and are great for that New Year's diet you started. No? You don't consider these diet foods? They're only 60 and 70 calories per serving, respectively. And chile peppers raise your metabolism. I think it's time to declare 2024 the year of the hatch chile diet. Just remember, it's not a lie...if you believe it. Thanks to reader halcyon for reminding me of that great George Costanza quote. That's my new mantra.
Let's talk about dip now, shall we? Although Sonia and I enjoyed both of these condiments quite a bit, I liked the hatch and jalapeño version slightly more than the asiago version while Sonia felt the opposite. I must admit the chile pepper dip was a tad oilier than its cheesy cousin, but I really liked the way the peppers spiced up the sharp cheddar and sour cream base. Sonia liked the fluffiness of the asiago dip and loved the asiago and mozzarella cheese flavors.
Both dips went great with chips, pretzels, bread, and even veggies. We would have tried them with other items, but honestly, they didn't last that long. Ten ounces each. I think 10 servings per package is a little generous, but I guess that's an FDA thing..?
Found in the refrigerated section. $4.99 for each microwavable dip tray. Would consider a repeat purchase. These will wind up with 7.5 star scores each, with me going a half star higher on Trader Joe's Roasted Hatch Chile & Jalapeño Cheese Dip and Sonia going half a star higher on Trader Joe's Garlic & Asiago Cheese Dip.
So here's an odd little condiment we've been experimenting with over the past few weeks. I wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.
To the melody of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme:
"It's oily, it's crunchy, it's just a tad bit munchy. Will this little bunchy enhance charcuterie? It's a citrus dispenser that cracks up taste bud sensors. Let cranny orange onion spruce up your lame turkey!"
And that's all I've got so far. I know you were all hoping for a full length song, so sorry to disappoint. Anyhoo, it's pretty obviously the classic Chili Onion Crunch but with a festive, fruity blend of citrus and berry flavors added in.
I liked the original product okay, but I thought it really shined when applied to other condiments such as hummus. See: Crunchy Chili Onion Hummus. And like the original, it's not super apparent to dummies like me what this sauce is wanting to be paired with.
We experimented with chicken and turkey mostly. The picture you see is actually Oscar Mayer Natural Plate AKA "Healthy Lunchables" or "Lunchables for Adults" with a bit of Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Cranberry Orange & Onion sauce applied. It worked pretty well. I always said those natural cracker, meat, and cheese snacks needed to come with a condiment, but I never thought to add something as exotic as this. I usually reach for dijon mustard with that stuff.
I must admit it worked much better, however, on actual turkey sandwiches. We just added turkey, swiss, and arugula to sourdough bread, grilled them panini style, and also added this sauce. That worked even better than pan-fried chicken if you ask us.
There's a fair amount of heat here from the ancho chili. In fact, I'd say that's the dominant flavor. It overshadows the cranberry orange elements by a good bit. I wish the fruit flavors were a little stronger. It's also too heavy on oil. I'm sure there's a reason for that, but I found myself applying it with a fork all the time so I could let the olive oil drain out before distributing the condiment.
$4.49 for the jar. Not sure if we'd buy again. We still have a good bit left and I wouldn't be surprised if there's some still at the back of the fridge come the 2024 holiday season. It should still be good then, right? As long as it smells fine, we'll still eat it. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Three out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Cranberry Orange & Onion.
Well, 2023 was an interesting year. There's no doubt 2024 will be even more so. I've mused about New Year's resolutions before on this blog, so there's no need to wax philosophical today. Suffice it to say that if I were to make any intentional changes in my life, eating better and being less fat healthier is always somewhere on the list.
I like oat-based cereal, oatmeal, and overnight oats. Sonia has some oaty stuff on hand more often than not, so I'm not sure why I don't eat it more frequently. It's filling, nutritious, and generally not very expensive. This product is no exception to those rules.
Plus, this oat and almond-based breakfast tastes surprisingly good. Overall, it's nutty and hearty, and there are plenty of sweet date and apple pieces throughout. Honestly, I didn't notice the dates until I looked at the ingredients. They just blended in with the slightly more familiar taste of apple, and there's plenty cinnamon flavor too—for a distinctly apple cinnamon vibe.
There's a good bit of moisture all through the oats. It's almond milk, mostly...er, sorry—it's almond beverage. Is there a copyright on "almond milk"? Meh. Who cares? Anyway, the mixture is nice and wet, but it's still quite thick. I was pleasantly surprised at how dense and rich the mixture was. It's not watered down at all. Sonia actually wanted the overnight oats to be thinner, with more liquid. Interesting. That's the only point we disagree on.
We both like the product quite a bit and are eager to try other flavors. $1.99 for the 5.5 oz cup. Gluten free. Kosher. Would buy again. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Apple Overnight Oats.
Trader Joe's has gone and made hot cocoa flavored cream cheese. It's everything you'd expect it to be...I mean, unless you were expecting it to actually be hot. Of course it's not hot when you pull it out of the fridge. That would be silly to think that. I mean, I suppose you could heat it up and melt it and find some uses for it that way, but now we're getting off track...
This cream cheese looks, smells, and tastes like actual hot cocoa. It's a milky light brown color, and it spreads like any other cream cheese. It's super smooth. No flecks of powder or chunks of marshmallow or anything like that—although Trader Joe's Hot Cocoa Cream Cheese with Marshmallows doesn't sound bad to me at all.
As soon as you open the tub, the smell of hot cocoa hits your nose. And it tastes like hot cocoa, too—like a medium-sweet milk chocolate made with real cow's milk, cocoa, and sugar. It goes great on bagels and anywhere else you'd use regular cream cheese. Sonia is fond of sprinkling Trader Joe's Cocoa Cinnamon Sugar Blend on top of this stuff for an extra blast of sweetness and maybe a bit of Mexican Hot Chocolate flair from the cinnamon.
$2.79 for the tub. Would buy again. Four stars a piece from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Hot Cocoa Cream Cheese Spread.
Well, it's Christmas yet again. And in lieu of figgy pudding—which I've still never even tried, by the way—we've got some figgy cheddar cheese, which we'll be munching on throughout this soggy winter's day, along with some all beef sausage and crackers.
This block of cheese is a fine mild cheddar, produced in the U.K. It's nice and soft and not very sharp at all. Most of TJ's cheeses are high-quality, so that's usually not something you have to worry about.
But it has figs in it. Weird, right? Does it work? Yeah, sorta. The figs lend a faint sweetness that otherwise wouldn't be there, which I expected. What I wasn't prepared for was the odd crunchiness from the fig seeds. Just as you get a bit of grittiness when eating a dried fig, there are whispers of crunch in this block of cheddar. It's a tad odd, but it's still a tasty cheese.
The "spiced" part of the figs is negligible. You don't really taste much, if any, of the coriander, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, and fennel mentioned in the ingredients—not that I was really hoping to. This is figgy cheddar after all, not pumpkin spice cheddar. Shoot, I better not give them any ideas for next fall...
The fig bits could be bigger, honestly. I think it would help the unique flavor shine a little more, but then there would be more of that weird sandy grit, too, so...never mind. $8.68 for our block, priced by weight—looks like $11 per pound I think. Sonia likes it a little more than I do. She'd buy again, while I'm on the fence. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Figgy Cheddar.
We've been plugging away at Trader Joe's brand Christmas goodies rather industriously here for the past couple weeks, so I'll spare you a long soliloquy today and keep this one short. I don't really have a ton to say anyway, so let's get to it.
Trader Joe's Cranberry Butter Cookies have a good taste and an okay texture. They're a little harder than I would have liked. They are firm and crumbly rather than soft and delicate. The cranberries lend a hint of chewy satisfaction, but there's not enough of them.
The flavor is sweet and buttery, tart and tangy. They taste a bit like the All Butter Shortbread Sandwich Cookies, but I liked the texture on those a good bit better than these. I feel like these cookies are too solid, and they lack the smooth jelly filling of the sandwich cookies.
I give Trader Joe's Cranberry Butter Cookies three and a half stars. Sonia gives them only three, also stating that they're too hard and need to be dunked in a hot beverage. $2.99 for the five serving pack. They're not the worst cookies I've tried, but knowing what else is out there, these are probably not a repeat purchase for us.
