Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Tart

I, personally, haven't seen the Rustic Apple Tarte on shelves in a while. I've seen posts about it on social media, so it must still be out there somewhere. That thing was legendary. So, if you can, pick one up.

If you can't, this delicious pastry is the next best thing. This has more of a sweet tart vibe. I don't mean that it's a tart that's sweet. I mean it's a tart that is both sweet and tart. Make sense? It's a much more tart tart than the rustic apple dealie, courtesy of cranberries. The apple tarte was just appliciously sweet.

The crust on this product is still outstanding, flaunting a country-style homemade vibe and buttery deliciousness. It's flaky and crumbly and just rigid enough to hold the fruit in the middle of the tart where it belongs.

Weaknesses? Well, for me, the cranberries weren't quite as melt-in-your-mouth perfect as the apples, texture-wise. Cranberries can have a slightly leathery texture and some of these did, just ever so slightly. Also, the aforementioned rustic apple tarte had candied almond slivers on top. This didn't. I miss those.

The missus raved about this tart from first bite. She said it's like something you'd pick up in an artisan bakery in Paris. She pointed out the impeccable balance of flavors and nice presentation. Her only complaint: she wants a four-pack next time. Two tarts just aren't enough.

$4.99 for the box. Heats in 20 minutes at 350° in a conventional oven. As highly as we'll recommend this dessert, it'll still score a full star lower than its rustic apple cousin. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four from me on Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Tart.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Very Chocolatey Oat Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert with Fudge Brownies

Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge. E-G-B-D-F. Anybody else? It's a mnemonic device to remember the lines on the treble clef. Or, alternatively, Every Good Boy Does Fine. I was terrible at piano even after nine years of lessons. I'm much more of a bass guitar guy. Sorry for the rabbit trail. I could go on for pages and pages, but we have a product to review here.

Trader Joe's Very Chocolatey Oat Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert with Fudge Brownies. That's a mouthful and a half for a product title. If nothing else, it's accurate. I mean, the fudge brownies aren't, like, whole brownies or anything. They're not even really chunks. More like bits...or bites. But there's a bunch of 'em, and they're pretty tasty.

Here we have rich, fudgy chocolate oat milk ice cream on top of rich, fudgy chocolate morsels. I have to be in the mood for "chocolate overload" to really enjoy a product like this one. Fortunately, I had one of my infrequent cravings just the other day. It was cold and gloomy, and I needed a pick-me-up. This did the trick in terms of picking me up...but not so much in terms of warming me up.

Well, duh. It is frozen dessert after all.

The oatiness doesn't really detract from the flavor. It's a pretty decent frozen dessert for being vegan. I will say there's something "loamy" about the look and texture. Can I use that word here? It's generally reserved for describing dirt. "This soil is loamy," said the farmer. It means a certain percentage is clay, silt, and sand. Not that it felt sandy in my mouth or anything like that. Clay-ish, perhaps.

Truth be told, I'm not really up to speed on all these newfangled dairy-free options from other brands these days. I've had a few. I think I'm more partial to rice-based ice cream than oat, but I wouldn't complain if you stuck a bowl of this frozen treat in front of me.

Sonia liked it but didn't love it. She'd generally prefer a vanilla-based frozen treat and thinks oat lends itself to less rich flavor combos rather than double chocolate like we have here.

$3.99 for the pint. Don't think I'd pick it up again, but I might if I were lactose intolerant or vegan. Three and a half stars from Sonia. Three from me for Trader Joe's Very Chocolatey Oat Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Glazed Maple Donuts

Well, shoot. That's a tough act to follow: a teary-eyed farewell post with 12 years worth of memories and reviews and goodbyes and whatnot. I might lose half my audience if I don't bring my A-game here these next few posts. What could possibly do this blog justice after that?

I honestly don't know. But these maple glazed donuts are gonna give it the old college try, that's for sure. And I gotta say: I'm a fan.

In terms of cakiness and density, these are not unlike the Apple Cider Donuts from a few years back. These maple dealies look a little more cruller-ish in terms of their twisty, braided appearance. They're soft, sweet, and made fresh daily—something I didn't realize before this purchase. I guess they get delivered? I don't think there's a bakery in that back room at the Trader Joe's store...but I could be wrong.

The glaze is mapley, but honestly, it might not be quiiiite mapley enough for this guy. I was thinking they'd be absolutely dripping with real, rich maple syrup from Canada or Vermont or somewhere like that. I mean, they are maplicious. Don't get me wrong. There's maple in that glaze for sure. But it's almost like they mixed the regular sugar glaze from a plain glazed donut with a maple glaze, yielding a donut that is exactly half as mapley as I'd like it to be.

Fun fact: maple syrup appears in the ingredients list under the "contains less than 2% of the following" section. Version 2.0 should contain at least 4% maple syrup. I guess I could always add my own syrup...

The friendly Trader Joe's clerk gave me the following pro-tip, and I'll pass it along to you: microwave each donut for 15 seconds before consuming. These are fine at room temperature, but they're waaay better warmed up.

Sonia digs 'em a lot, too, although she agrees the maple flavor could be a little stronger. She says they'd go well with coffee. Indeed they would, my love. Indeed they would. $4.49 for six pastries. Four stars from Sonia, four from me on Trader Joe's Glazed Maple Donuts.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Farewell from Pittsburgh

With either a little more foresight, or more lax Pennsylvania liquor laws, I could have been writing all this while enjoying a glass or three of Two Buck Chuck. Alas, it wasn't meant to be that poetic. 

There's not an easy way to say this, but here goes: this is the last post that I, Russ Shelly, am writing for this wonderful blog. In a few weeks time, it'd mark 12 years since I first contacted an old college friend, Nathan Rodgers, about this "What's Good at Trader Joe's?" project I saw him trying to kick start up and asked if I could be of any help. He said sure, I wrote up five times as many words as you'd ever want to read about soy chorizo, and now, somehow, I find myself at trail's end, after so many years, reviews, and empty jars of cookie butter. Life comes fast. 

Why am I leaving, as Nathan and his lovely wife Sonia navigate the next chapter? I'll be honest. Overall, everything about this blog, and everything going into it - the searching for new product info, the hunt for it on shelves, the anticipation of giving something a try, the pleasure (or sometimes not) of trying something new, then trying to come up with ways to spin and inform and entertain - it's been a lot more fun than not, but to keep it that way, for me personally, I need to step off the ride. Quit while I'm ahead. For a while,  it just hasn't been the fun it has for me, and I feel that's begun to show in my reviews and my work here. That's not fair to you, Nathan, the overall quality of the blog, or even really to myself. It's not anger or animosity or anything negative. There's nothing wrong. It's just time. 

Looking back, there's so much to be proud of. More than anything, there's all the collaborative stuff that brings me joy. Like...the articles we created with The Daily Meal, back in our early years, that helped really launch the blog to what it is.  Making the front page of Yahoo will do that. Here's just one out of many. There's the times we tried a short-lived podcast with Marvo from The Impulsive Buy.  I LOVED the time I got to to do "Career Day" at my daughter's classroom - and instead of talking about my boring day job of medical insurance verifications and authorizations, I talked the TJ's blog and gave them cookies! There's where this post's picture is from, by the way. Within just our team, I loved making the April Fool's posts we did several years ago - I mean, c'mon now, this is still golden.  And, finally, lastly, and just me personally, though I certainly don't recall everything I've ever written, I do remember classics like the 5 Cheese Frusta or the Nduja. 

Most of all, I'm just proud and happy to have had a chance to share two of my passions - good food and writing - with anyone who cared to stop by for a few minutes. It's been an awesome experience, humbling at times, but nearly always enjoyable. 

There's no "next steps" in mind for me  - I'm likely to just fade more into the rhythm and routine of daily life with my lovely bride Sandy, who's been a tremendous help and a good sport over the years,. We've got our kiddos and their whims and activities and our jobs and this big ol' house we're trying to fix up. There may be another day coming when, much like back in late 2010, the inspiration or muse hits, and I'm off an running again on some sort of new writing project. If that's the case, I hope we somehow cross paths again. Maybe we'll just have to settle for bumping into each other in the local TJ's aisle - you can see what I look like up above and I'm usually looking for the bomba sauce, so that's a good clue. I'll still be there.   

In closing, thank you to everyone who's been a part of this journey, whether it be for years or days. Specials thanks, of course, to Nathan for giving me a chance, for continuing to be fair at all times and sticking with me. God bless you and Sonia, and I'll be keeping my eyes on what's coming next with this blog. We made a good team. Speaking of good teams - sincere thanks to my lovely bride Sandy, for the countless times she's delved into Instagram or gone and hunted down or prepared  "something to review" or offered her opinion only for me to poke fun at her a little on here.  Huge thanks to the many, many, many good people at the McCandless TJ's, our usual stomping grounds, for their support and interest and friendship - don't worry, we're not going anywhere! And lastly, to you, the reader, for whom we did all these things, even eating turkey muffins - it's been fun. 

If I may say one last thing it's my sincere hope that each one of us, myself included, continue to find our own mango waffles. Peace be with you all.   

Bottom line: my entire experience with What's Good at Trader Joe's?: 10/10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Organic Artichoke Pasta Sauce

Here's an interesting one. Not feeling marinara sauce on your pasta dish tonight? Don't want Alfredo either? This product might be the alternative you've been looking for.

Or maybe not. The flavor is...interesting. It tastes sour more than anything else, but also bitter, tangy, cheesy. It's quite flavorful, the only question is: will you as an individual like this flavor? 

I could see it being quite off-putting to some and delightful to others, much like the artichoke timbales we looked at a while back, though I think I liked this product more than those oddball appetizers.

You can kind of tell from the picture this product isn't as liquidy as most tomato-based pasta sauces or even Alfredo. It's sort of a coarse, custard-like consistency—like pureed artichokes with cheeses mixed in. It doesn't look very appetizing by itself: almost reminiscent of baby food.

Of course it thins a bit when heated. We also found it works best as a very modest coating. Neither Sonia nor I wanted to pile it on too thick, since the flavor was almost too intense.

It was fine by itself on plain pasta. However, contrary to our initial assumptions, the wifey and I both liked it better when we added some sweet chicken sausage to the dish. The sweetness helped offset some of the sauce's astringency.

Sonia says she'd buy it again just to have that third pasta sauce option on hand. I don't know if I'd ever prefer this over good old-fashioned Ragu or whatever, but I feel more worldly and sophisticated having tried it. $3.49 for the jar. Three and a half stars from the missus. Three from me for Trader Joe's Organic Artichoke Pasta Sauce.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Pie Spice

Have you ever sat down to a bowl of plain corn flakes and thought to yourself, "Man, I don't want PLAIN corn flakes. I want PUMPKIN PIE SPICE corn flakes!" I know I have. Mashed potatoes, chicken nuggets, green beans? Why not have pumpkin pie spice mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie spice chicken nuggets, or pumpkin pie spice green beans?

There's absolutely no reason you shouldn't have those things if you want them, and that's exactly why Trader Joe's introduced its delectable mixture of pumpkin pie spices all by themselves in a convenient shaker—so you can make ANYTHING taste like pumpkin pie spice.

People were complaining: "Trader Joe's, where are all of your pumpkin pie spice pork products?" "Where is the pumpkin pie spiced mango?" "Why don't you carry pumpkin pie spiced peanuts?" Though normally kind and mild-mannered, the clerks became so irritated by these requests, they asked corporate to release the pumpkin pie spice just by itself.

Now when they get asked, "Hey, where's the pumpkin pie spice tofu?" clerks hand the customer plain tofu and this pumpkin pie spice shaker and say "Make it yo DANG self."

There's no sugar in this mix, so it's not sweet. No nutrition info is listed on the shaker at all, unlike most of TJ's other seasoning blends, so I'm assuming there are no calories, no sodium, no carbs or anything like that. There are just six ingredients, most of which you might have guessed without looking. The only real surprise to me is "lemon peel." I don't generally think of that as a pumpkin pie spice, but there it is. And it works. Just a bit of tang goes a long way.

Most of this review is quite facetious, obviously, but I really do like this product. It's a good blend. I like that they didn't include sugar in the mix so you can make it exactly as sweet as you want. Good for baking and adding extra flavor to fall foods, it's also pretty decent on ice cream and other desserts. I think this one was $2.99 at Trader Joe's, but people are selling it on the online "black market" for upwards of eight bucks per shaker. I guess that means it's seasonal and only available for a limited time. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Apple & Pumpkin Hand Pies

 Next few months, we're gonna be roughing it here at the Western PA chapter of the WGATJ's team, as we're just starting a kitchen remodel, so that means...we don't have a kitchen! Aack!

So while it would've been lovely to warm up some Trader Joe's Apple & Pumpkin Hand Pies, that just wasn't gonna happen.

Already sold our former stove to make way for the new one that'll be complete with built in air fryer and air sous vide, however that works. Bigger air fryer capacity will be great, as ours is barely big enough to hold even one of these new autumnally appropriate treat. 

So my lovely bride and I...we ate our cold, right outta the package. 

That's alright as it turned out reasonably good. There's lots of nice chunky apple bites along with some pumpkinny bits in a somewhat dry array, with plenty of brown sugar and cinnamon mixed in. It's not quite either apple or pumpkin pie, but a good mix of both, in ways I didn't completely anticipate. The crust is nice and sturdy and kinda rustic, if that's a word that can describe pastry. It's definitely got a good amount of butter in it. There's plenty here to like...

...but man, if we only had warmed them!

Totally delish though, and got me in the mood. Wash down with some apple cider or even a pumpkin beer, if thats your thing. These are nutriitonally decadent enough to only be an every once in a while treat, but get 'em while you can!

Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Apple & Pumpkin Hand Pies: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Organic Maple Vinaigrette Dressing

Truth be told, I wasn't super excited to pour this stuff on a salad and consume it. Intrigued? Yes. Eager? No. If not for the prospect of reviewing it, I might not have purchased it at all.

I mean, I love maple syrup and generally enjoy maple-flavored things. I also love vinaigrette salad dressings. But together? That's an odd combo if you ask me...but not so odd that I'd avoid it altogether.

With a new, iffy salad dressing, you don't want to dump a bunch of it on your greens and beans and potentially ruin the whole bowl if you're not into the dressing. You have to do that thing like when you're trying a new cleaning product on your carpet where you have to "test in an inconspicuous area" in case it's a disaster. So I just poured a teeny little bit on one corner of my salad to assess the product.

And I'm glad I did it that way. I might have wasted a bunch of salad otherwise, because this stuff is gross. Like, it's the worst salad dressing I've ever had. You'd be better off putting household cleaning vinegar and raw tree sap on a salad.

Not only did the maple and vinaigrette elements commingle and clash in exactly the way I was hoping they wouldn't, there was also this unexpected smoky element that made the whole thing nearly gag-worthy. Maybe the dijon mustard? Canola oil? It poured like a medium-thick brown ooze, similar in appearance to a peanut satay sauce but perhaps a tad thinner. Not particularly appetizing.

I'd try it as a marinade for salmon or a drizzle for ravioli as suggested on traderjoes.com but I can't imagine it working better than something more traditional. I'm taking this one straight to Trader Joe's and getting my $3.49 back. Thumbs down from me.

Sonia tolerated it a lot better than I did, but even she admitted it had "a very weird flavor." She's not going to fight me on the return because she knows I won't help her finish the bottle. Two and a half stars from her.

I'll throw out one since I like it when Trader Joe's gets adventurous, and it is certified organic after all.

Bottom line: 3.5 out of 10.