Trader Joe's Banh Mi Inspired Noodle Bowl

So it turns out that Cauliflower Cookie Butter isn't a thing...yet. And it also turns out that previous cookie butter selections are already vegan. I hadn't realized.

Know what else is vegan? 

Not this salad. 

But it is vegetarian, and it's also Vietnamese. "Banh mi" apparently means "bread," which is super inappropriate, because there's absolutely no bread in this product. Trader Joe would like you to purchase a baguette separately and stuff the contents of this salad into it for an authentic Vietnamese-inspired banh mi sandwich. Or you can just skip the bread and the carbs and eat it salad-style, which is exactly what we did.

I'm down with sriracha. I'm down with tofu. And I'm definitely down with sriracha-baked tofu, and that, in my humble opinion, was by far the strongest element of this exotic salad. Apparently, it can be purchased separately at TJ's. We haven't gotten around to reviewing it just by itself on this blog yet.

I'm normally a fan of most salad dressings, but this stuff was a little odd to me. It was slightly sweet, but there was also a tanginess involved that I found off-putting for some reason. It was almost sour to my taste buds. Also, the pickled vegetables were a little too pickled for me. The noodles? They were just kinda there.

Sonia? She loved it. And I'm glad, because she downed the salad quickly after I had given up on it. I wanted to like it, but there was just too much pickley tang. I gobbled up some lettuce and srirachified tofu chunks at the onset, but most of the pieces were slathered in that dressing, so I deferred to the wife at that point. I'd give banh mi another chance if I ever came across the bona fide sandwich at a Vietnamese place, but in general, I'll stick with pho.

Sonia enjoyed each element of the salad, including the dressing. She thought all the flavors worked well together, and she appreciated that the tofu was nice and firm—it gave the salad some body. She thinks it was a little too pricey at $4.99, but other than that, she'd consider getting it again.

Four stars from Sonia. Two and a half from me.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vegan Cauliflower Cookie Butter

Bottom line: 10 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cream Cheese Brioche Pastries

"Mornings are made for coffee and contemplation."

You can't argue with that, and you don't mess around with Jim.

Wise words, though. I love the mornings where Sandy and I have a chance to share a cup of coffee together before embarking on the crushing madness of the day. Keeps us centered as a couple, I think. It's good stuff.

And sometimes you need a good bite to go along with it. For $2.99, why not try Trader Joe's Cream Cheese Brioche Pastries for an at-home treat?

These breakfasty buns have easy written all over them. As the box states, they're prebaked but come frozen, so there's two prep options. First is to bake on low heat in the oven until warm (but not toasty!), the second is to let sit at room temp for a spell to warm up.

Since there's two pastries....we tried both ways!

There was a demonstrable better quality to the oven prep method. The box states 325 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes, but I pulled them out a little earlier. Perfect. The outside bread shell got just the right amount of toasty and gave way to a warm, softly sweet and doughy inside. Almost total carby comfort, topped off with a rich sweet cream cheese custard type deal on top. Think of the normal cheese danish type filling, and that's pretty close...and there's a lot of it, too. Yum.

If going for defrost at room temp, maybe give it a little longer than the box calls for. We started consuming at about the instructed 45 to 60 minutes, and while everything still tasted about the same, there was a still a cool clamminess to most of the bun. That definitely had a damper on the overall appeal.

Regardless, these make a nice breakfast treat. My only real complaint is that they're a bit big. I mean, instead of two mega-buns, four smaller ones might have done the trick better, especially with the serving size being half a big bready brioche. Other than that, worth a shot for sure, and better than Eggos for breakfast.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cream Cheese Brioche Pastries: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Falafel Mix

It's been seven freaking years since our review of Trader Joe's Heat & Eat Falafel. Seven years. Goodness.

I'll spare you the spiel about how and when I discovered falafel since I covered that in the previous review. Suffice it to say that I like it, and both Sonia and I thoroughly enjoyed Trader Joe's frozen falafel offering. So how does this mix n' fix variety square up? Read on.

Shelf-stable and affordable at just $2.99 for the whole package, this mix can mix it up with the best of them in my humble opinion. The spice level was just about right, and at least when fried, the texture isn't quite perfect, but close enough to justify featuring this product as the centerpiece of a Middle Eastern or Mediterranean meal, as well as repeat purchases in the near future.

Check out the pic of the mix just by itself (left).

 When something looks this much like sawdust, my expectations automatically go down. Not necessarily because it will, in fact, taste like sawdust, but because my overactive, neurotic brain will insist that it is sawdust. Fortunately, the next step—the "just add water" step (right)—looks slightly less like sawdust and more like a gritty, hummussy paste, and the final step after frying looks shockingly like normal falafel.

I feel like the product is just a little more inclined to fall apart while being eaten than other types of falafel, but if it's being served in a pita, that's really not an issue. We had it with pita bread, this excellent Trader Joe's brand tzatziki sauce, and some hummus. It's satisfying and filling, and it's got a nice nutty flavor. Of course, when fried, the extra olive oil helps out with the taste.
 

We did try making a batch in the oven, too. It's nothing to complain about, and it's a little less calorific that way, although you do have to coat them with oil before baking them. I'm sure they pick up significantly more oil when fried. Frying them also improves the structural integrity of the product somewhat. From the oven, it's just a tad too dry for my taste.

Both preparation methods involved a one hour period for the mixture to set. Sonia thinks the frying would have been a lot simpler with a deep fat fryer, while she simply made them in the skillet.

Sonia insists these turned out better than the aforementioned heat and eat style falafel. I think I liked the heat and eat ones just a mite bit more than these, but we both agree that this product is a better value overall, making three large batches of about nine falafel balls each. The box claims there are nine servings of three balls each. Our serving sizes tended to be larger than just three falafel balls—we ate four or five in a single sitting, but there are easily, at minimum, four to six meals-worth of falafel in the package, even for larger appetites.

Five stars from Sonia. Four stars from me.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Sweet Italian Chicken Sausage

I'm convinced my wife Sandy has superpowers.

Amongst her many talents and gifts, somehow or another during the week she almost always dinner ready when I come home from work. 90% of the time it's ready within five minutes of my arrival at the most. That's no small feat seeing how busy our growing girlss keep us, and no small challenge seeing as that it seemingly takes me forever on the weekends when it's my turn. Of course, she also does all the grocery shopping too. I'll admit that in the past six months I've stepped inside a TJ's maybe three times. There's just not a need to - she gets it all done, and on a surprisingly low budget too. Amazing.

So I do kinda have to take it on her word that there's not too terribly much new and exciting around TJ's these days. It's possible she's missed some stuff - I mean, just today she ran around the store, checked out, and picked up our toddler from preschool all within twenty minutes - but that seems to be the vibe. If we're missing something, help us out.

One potentially "new" product: Trader Joe's Organic Sweet Italian Chicken Sausage. I hadn't seen it, neither had Sandy until she bought it. Apparently the cashier may have said something about the sausage having a cult following of some type...is that a thing? Nonetheless, it's quick, easy, relatively lean and healthy protein that our girls would probably enjoy without much hassle, so of course we'd want to give it a try.

Man. I'll admit, there's not much to say. There's just not much to really totally describe, as there's nothing particularl that stands out about these sausages one way or another. I wouldn't even have described them as "sweet", at least not in relation to say the sausages with apples or maple that we usually get instead. The sweet factor seems to be more a sundried tomato vibe than anything else, even though that doesn't seem quite accurate either.

It's just kinda a decent, nondescript chicken sausage. Typical sausage type flavors, typical sausage type feel, typical, like, everything I guess. We definitely liked them as a family - our normally mostly meat-averse kiddos asked for seconds - but there's nothing I could pick up that made them really stand out.

I guess we'll just have to settle for these TJ's sausages being decently priced ($3.99), decently healthy, and decently tasty. In all, that's not a bad thing by any stretch. Not everything can have superpowers. They're worth a try and are a probable repeat buy.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Sweet Italian Chicken Sausage: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Cranberry & Herb Supplement Drops

Now here's an exciting product for a Friday: cough drops. If you're disappointed, blame Trader Joe. He's the one that prominently displayed these on the New Items shelf during our last TJ's run. Hold on to your seats for a riveting "food" review.

First off, we've checked out at least one other product that's arguably more "personal care" than "pantry." But one might point out that these could be consumed like candy, just as the Vitamin C Drink Mix could serve as a traditional beverage.

Before you scold me for advocating the recreational use of medicinal substances, I'd like to mention that it's really darn difficult to overdose on water-soluble vitamin C, even with drops like these, which each contain 33mg of the substance. It's over a third of your recommended daily allowance, but in my estimation, one's body could glean more useful vitamin C by glancing in the general direction of an orange—but of course, the "dietary supplement" facet of these drops isn't the only reason to consume them.

There's also the soothing menthol cough suppressant effect going on here. Miraculously, neither Sonia nor I are sick <knocks on wood> after battling the Four'Easter, like many of our readers in the eastern half of the country. Still, we can tell there's a nice moderate sinus-clearing, throat-calming quality in these drops. They would most definitely come in handy during cold and flu season, which I'm hoping, at least, is nearly over for this year.

The flavor is distinctly tart, sweet, and berry-esque, and there is, in fact, cranberry juice present in the drops. I'm not sure what "herbs" we're supposed to detect here. There's nothing specific listed in the ingredients in that category other than "natural flavor." Menthol seems to dominate any non-berry aspect of the taste if you ask me. It's still a pleasant fruity flavor with minimal medicinal taste—along the lines of Ricola brand cough drops. 

The bag is only 99 cents for 15 drops. Oddly, they contain wheat. Sorry, gluten-free folks. Three and a half stars a piece here.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Truffles

As you may recall, ice cream is a certain kind of currency in our family, good for all kinds of bribery...

Well, what about candy?

Candy is an oddball in our family. There's two main divergent views. The one I employ is, eat it all right away. Candy rarely lasts long around me. It's...kinda a bad thing. I've learned that, by in large, I need to avoid buying it or it will go down the hatch way too quick.

But candy around my wife or daughters? My goodness, explain to me what is wrong with them! They never eat it. Well, that's not exactly true...but almost. Sandy has candy leftover from last Easter that's still in her designated treat box that I am strictly forbidden from touching. Our girls have candy leftover from two Halloweens ago, I swear. We end up routinely tossing it out.

But somehow, if I were to consume it, even if we've had it for six plus months, they'd all know within 14 hours of its sugary demise and I'd be in the doghouse. Personal experience. Been there, done that.

So what's the ultimate fate of Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Truffles?

Not sure. They're pretty decent candies overall. Sandy says they're pretty close to Lindt Truffles overall, which somehow I recognize but am not familiar with their overall quality. Around Easter, I'm more into jellybeans and Reese eggs than anything else. But I guess pretty similar to those aforemntioned Lindt balls, with a milk chocolate shell surrounding a rich, creamy interior. At about the size of a large marble, they go down pretty easily. One or two go a long ways, too.

I'm not completely in love with them. Nothing wrong, per se, but just a preference. But they're just a little basic and plain. With the different foil wrapper colors, it'd be cool if they contained different flavor creams, but nah, all the same. For me, they'll make an adequate occasional sugary treat, so I won't be surprised if I peck at them here or there, but if there's other candy around up for grabs, I'd go for them first.

If Sandy winds up stashing them in her box, though? They'll probably become family heirlooms. "Wait 'til you can savor them," she'll tell our great-grand kids.

Neither of us are big on them. Kinda meh. Kinda basic. Nothing too wrong, nothing too right. Going right down the middle here in all fairness.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Truffles: 5.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Vegan Kale, Cashew & Basil Pesto

I've never been a huge fan of pesto. I was never sure why. Something about the flavor just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. And I've often been told by readers that I'm not allowed to review foods that I don't already appreciate because my score will be unfairly biased against the product.

But this product is a prime example of why I still try foods that I "know" I don't like. In this case, like so many others, the devil was in the details. I never bothered looking at the ingredients of traditional pesto. Usually, there are pine nuts. And I hate pine nuts. To be fair, if Trader Joe's ever offers a bag of plain pine nuts, I'll refrain from reviewing those—unless it's some new species of pine nuts or ones coated in wasabi or cookie butter or something crazy like that. 

Cue the reader comments that tell me TJ's does offer a bag of plain pine nuts. And a version where they're covered in wasabi. Wouldn't surprise me. Readers, we love your comments. But anyway, I digress.

The point is that this product employs cashews instead of pine nuts. And I like cashews. And that makes all the difference in the world to me. I mean, the product doesn't taste a lot like cashews per se—I just prefer them as an ingredient to pine nuts. Also, I'm not sure that most pesto contains kale...and I like kale, too. The texture is like a mushy vegetable puree. It's thick, soft, and spreadable.

I'd eat this stuff on pasta, potatoes, sandwiches, crackers, pita, or even as a chip dip. Sonia liked it enough that it inspired another short video review. $3.69 for the tub. Four stars a piece.

 

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.