Trader Joe's Bird's Eye Chile Hot Sauce

Trader Joe’s Bird’s Eye Chile Hot Sauce is here to remind you that yes, Trader Joe’s can, in fact, bring the heat. Three bucks gets you a 4.22 oz bottle of this South African import, which immediately sets it apart from the usual California-cute condiments lining the shelves. This stuff contains actual bird’s eye chile pepper—the same fiery little number that powers peri peri sauce and fuels many a Nando’s chicken obsession. If you’ve had TJ’s Peri Peri Sauce before, you’re in the right ballpark. Similar vibe, similar bright, punchy personality.

Flavor-wise, it’s not just heat for heat’s sake. It’s quite spicy, but there’s also this fresh, almost citrusy brightness to it. It pops. It wakes up your taste buds. It’s the kind of heat that feels intentional rather than reckless.

Now, let’s talk about the pour. This sauce is on the thicker side, at least compared to stuff like Texas Pete or Tapatio. At first, it doesn’t want to come out of the bottle. You tilt. You wait. Nothing. Then suddenly—glorp. A spicy blob lands on your food like it just parachuted in from Johannesburg. And because it’s fairly hot, you don’t want to overdo it but controlling the flow takes a little practice. Consider it a relationship you’ll need to work on.

Once you get the hang of it, though? Game on.

We’ve splashed it on chicken and rice, chili, burgers, pizza, pasta, roasted potatoes, eggs—basically anything that benefits from a little fiery encouragement. It plays well with everything. It’s not the spiciest thing I’ve ever eaten, but it’s easily hotter than anything Trader Joe’s has put out in recent memory. And more importantly, it tastes great. Unique. Bold. Memorable.

We’d both buy it again. Another thumbs up from both Sonia and me. Eight out of ten stars from each of us.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Instant Jeju Matcha Latte Packets

Trader Joe’s Instant Jeju Matcha Latte Packets are a simple, convenient option for anyone who wants a quick matcha drink without turning their kitchen into a tea ceremony. A box costs $4.99 and includes 10 single-serve packets, imported from South Korea. That puts each drink at about fifty cents, which feels more than reasonable for something this easy and palatable.

Preparation couldn’t be simpler. Empty one packet into hot or cold water, stir, and you’re done. Sonia and I tried it both ways and agree that it's slightly more refreshing iced for some reason, though in the dead of winter, the hot version is perfectly acceptable.

There’s no need to add milk, sugar, or sweetener. Skim milk is the first ingredient, and there is some added sugar, but the balance works. The flavor clearly reads as matcha without being grassy, bitter, or overpowering. It tastes like a proper matcha latte. If you like matcha but don’t want it too intense, this lands in a comfortable middle ground.

Each serving has 80 calories and contains some caffeine—roughly half the amount you’d get from a standard cup of coffee. That makes it a decent option for an afternoon pick-me-up when you want something calming without the full jolt of java. Provided you stir it adequately, the texture is smooth with no chalky or gritty aftertaste, which can be an issue with some instant mixes.

One practical bonus is the shelf life. The box we picked up has a “best by” date of July 2027, so there’s no rush to use them up. They’re easy to stash at work, keep in a travel bag, or stock in the pantry. Ingredients: skim milk powder, sugar, dextrose powder, matcha powder, whole milk powder, sea salt, xanthan gum.

Overall, Trader Joe’s Jeju Matcha Latte delivers exactly what it promises: a straightforward, good-tasting matcha latte with minimal effort. Trader Joe’s Instant Jeju Matcha Latte Packets aren’t fancy, but they’re reliable, convenient, and something we’d happily buy again. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Seven and a half stars from this guy.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic and Trader Joe's Fried Shallots

Trader Joe’s Crispy Garlic and Trader Joe's Fried Shallots are the kind of products that make you feel kinda smug in the snack aisle. You’re not buying chips. You’re buying ingredients. Fancy toppings. Culinary enhancements. Definitely not something you’re about to eat straight out of the bag like a raccoon at midnight, although I must admit we did try both that way and they're not half bad.

Trader Joe's Fried Shallots on a burger

Anyway, both of these live in resealable bags, both hail from Thailand, and both feel suspiciously like they might come from the same magical allium factory overseas. The Crispy Garlic will cost you $3.29, while the Fried Shallots are a slightly more modest $2.49. Inflation is real, but apparently garlic still thinks pretty highly of itself.

Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic

Let’s start with the Crispy Garlic. These little guys look like almond slices, which makes them feel classy even as they’re absolutely wrecking your breath. The flavor is significantly more potent than the shallots. They’re fried in rice bran oil, and the result is deeply savory, crunchy, and wildly addictive. If you love garlic like we do, this is your jam. Or topping. Or handful snack.

The Fried Shallots are more familiar, more chill. Think fried onions, but with that shallot sweetness and depth. They’re fried in palm oil and are perfect on burgers, salads, rice bowls, noodles—basically anything that feels lonely. We threw them on a burger and immediately felt smarter than we are. They add crunch, a little zing, and zero regrets. They're also certified vegan (until you put them on a hamburger).

If forced to choose, we like the garlic just a tad more but that’s because we’re garlic fiends, not because the shallots did anything wrong. In a fairer universe, you’d just buy both. Which, spoiler alert, we would absolutely do again. Sonia will go with eight and a half stars on Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic. I'll go half a star lower with a solid eight. The beautiful wifey gives Trader Joe's Fried Shallots eight out of ten stars, and once again, I'll go just a half star lower.

Trader Joe's Crispy Garlic: 8.25 out of 10.
Trader Joe's Fried Shallots: 7.75 out of 10.