Trader Joe's Meatless Breakfast Sausage Patties

I've never really been a fan of traditional sausage. I just don't like the taste of most pork products in general and there's something off-putting about the texture to me. Interestingly enough, this product found a way to emulate that off-putting texture fairly accurately. There are like little bumps of...something here and there that feel just like the weird bumps of animal meat in real sausage.

The spice blend is nice and hits pretty close to the spices you'd taste in pork sausage without the actual taste of meat. I'm not thrilled that the base is soy protein and wheat gluten. I'd rather have some other type of bean base, but I guess most fake meats are still made with some amount of soy or soy byproduct.

If you dress these puppies up with cheese, bread, and condiments, they're quite edible and unoffensive. I'd easily pick out that this was fake meat even in a blind taste test. Sonia agrees, but neither of us would prefer traditional sausage over this option in terms of taste or texture. 

We'd both gravitate towards turkey or chicken sausage as our first choice. But if you do Meatless Mondays or just mix things up for the heck of it, this vegan sausage is a passable breakfast option.

There were seven patties in our bag despite the packaging specifying there should be six. About four bucks for the whole thing. The patties are oddly small and don't really fit inside a bun or bagel or even an English muffin. There's excess bread on all sides. 

Sonia would probably buy Trader Joe's Meatless Breakfast Sausage Patties again while I probably would not.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Oven Dried Red & Yellow Bell Pepper Crisps

In the tradition of other crispy, crunchy veggie snacks that Trader Joe's has offered throughout the years, bell peppers are getting their day in the sun...er, their day in the oven, as it were. If you don't know what I'm talking about, see:

Trader Joe's Contemplates Inner Peas

Trader Joe's Kale Chips

Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Broccoli Florets

Trader Joe's Beet Chips

Trader Joe's Parsnip Chips

Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Okra

Your guess is as good as mine as to whether any of those snacktastic veggies are still available at TJ's or not...

As a standalone snack, these oven dried dealies are definitely not my favorite, despite a general fondness for bell peppers of all colors. They're oddly bitter, crusty, and papery.

Crumbled on top of stuff, however, they're pretty neat. $1.99 for the resealable bag. Product of Turkey. Sonia and I will go with six out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Battered Calamari

I'm well aware all squid can be a bit chewy, but this one was borderline rubbery IMO. Sonia agrees. I've had calamari a handful of times at Italian restaurants, and I don't think this selection was quite up to par in the texture department.

I wish it came with a sauce, too. We made our own with peri peri sauce, mayonnaise, and lemon juice, and it worked great. The flavor of these morsels is very good and isn't the problem, but sauce helps almost any fried appetizer.

Our second batch we left in the air fryer a good bit longer than what was called for, and it came out a little better than the first. The batter was even crunchier...and the squid? Really just about the same. It was difficult to cut even with a very sharp knife.

$5.49 isn't a bad price for how much you get here. Product of Italy. We still can't completely get over the excessive chewiness and lack of dipping sauce.

The beautiful wifey and I are both torn between six and seven stars, so we'll go with one of each for Trader Joe's Crispy Battered Calamari.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.