Trader Joe's Italian Tomato & Red Onion Focaccia

"Focaccia" sounds so much fancier than "pizza," right? Pizza is what kids eat at Chuck E. Cheese. Even "flatbread" sounds kinda lame and boring if you think about it. All bread is pretty much flat. Why would I want to eat bread thats most noteworthy feature is its flatness?

Fortunately, the bread in this product is quite delicious. It's puffy, rich, and doughy with both wheat and rice flours. It's gourmet quality all the way...and it's by far the best part of the product.

The toppings? Well, the quality is there in my humble opinion...but the quantity? That's a problem. We need more of everything. We need a sauce. We need some cheese. We need about ten times the onions and at least double the tomatoes. Sonia agrees. The few toppings that were there were all crammed in the middle, too. The outer portions were completely bare.

We need big slabs of buffalo mozzarella or some pecorino romano here. We need calabrian chili sauce or some top-shelf marinara. I dunno. It just needs...more. I know, I know, I can dress it up myself, but the packaging makes it look like a standalone appetizer if not a standalone meal.

Three bucks for a decent slab of focaccia bread isn't a terrible deal, but we both just expected better from the fixins. Probably wouldn't buy again. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Three out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Italian Tomato & Red Onion Focaccia.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Chocolate Chip Granola Bites

Well, this is pretty much your average chocolate chip granola bar rolled into tiny balls. There are five little bags of balls with about eight balls in each bag. Appropriately, each ball is a single bite...hence the name, "bites." It's not one of those products where they call them "bites" but they wind up being two or three bites each. These balls are indeed "bite-sized."

Okay, I've said the word "balls" enough to last me a while. I'll try to refrain from using it for the rest of this review.

The bites are sweet, oaty, and filling. Since the product is dairy-free, the chocolate bits have cocoa and sugar, but no milk. They balance out the grainy flavors pretty well. There's agave syrup and dried apple in there, too, but somehow the bites aren't overly sugary.

We like the artwork on the packaging both for being unique and clever, but also for being appropriate. These snacks are perfect for road trips and on-the-go snacking. Just one bag can curb the munchies pretty effectively and keep your blood sugar up for quite a while.

$2.99 for the box. Organic. Vegan. Gluten free. Would buy again. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Organic Chocolate Chip Granola Bites.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Korean Gochujang Sauce

Let me explain something about myself. I love condiments. I love sauces. When I eat French fries, I'm an absolute ketchup fiend. I like mustard, mayo, relish, onions, chili, and cheese sauces on my 'Murican stuff. On my foreign foods, I like sriracha, sweet Thai chili, garlic spread, tzatziki, zhoug, chutney...you name it.

I think places like Chick-fil-a are outstanding not because they have the best chicken, although theirs is definitely up there, but because they have the best dipping sauces. Freaking Polynesian sauce? Come on, man. You can't beat that. The only reason I ever patronize Subway anymore is to get my chicken teriyaki sandwich absolutely drowned in that sweet onion sauce. Why they took away the red wine vinaigrette, I'll never know.

I'm on record stating ketchup is my favorite condiment of all time, followed closely by sriracha. I'll stand by that. Like sriracha, this sauce is made with fermented red chilis, but it hails from Korea rather than Thailand. A purchase was inevitable.

We've seen Gochujang Paste from Trader Joe's before. That's more like the unadulterated source material while this product is truly a sauce ready for application and implementation. It's not quite as potent, spice-wise, since it's mixed with rice vinegar and soy sauce. While that previous product was a thick paste, this condiment is thin and smooth like ketchup or sriracha.

Heat-wise, it's right in the middle of the spectrum. It provides a kick, for sure, but you don't have to worry about wasabi-like sinus-clearing pain, even if you use a bit too much. As far as flavor goes, it tastes more fermented than sriracha to me. It's almost like a kimchi made with red peppers. Also, the vinegar flavor is much stronger in this particular sauce and it's not nearly as sweet. For those reasons, sriracha will easily maintain its position as the second best condiment in existence for me.

Sonia? She likes this stuff better. She's a bigger fan of kimchi than I am and of fermented flavors in general. She also enjoys vinegary stuff more than I do. She thinks of it like an Asian version of Tapatio or Cholula. I'll admit it does go well with tacos and sour cream. Mexican-Korean fusion for the win. We also mixed it with mayo and tried it on a cheeseburger. Not bad, not bad. Sonia also LOVES this product with eggs.

$3.49 for the 9.17 oz bottle. Would buy again. I'll throw out three and a half stars. Put the beautiful wifey down for four and a half on Trader Joe's Korean Gochujang Sauce.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.