I've often referred to myself as a "foodie-hack" on this blog and drawn attention to the fact that I'm not particularly skilled in the culinary arts. I managed to pull off some relatively photogenic cupcakes a few weeks ago but that, friends, was the exception to the rule.
Although I didn't completely butcher this batch of baked goods, I came close to it. The bag of frosting mix and the bag of cake mix weren't labeled individually, and I nearly poured the frosting base in with the eggs, milk, and oil and put it in the oven. I mean, the cake mix was yellowish and the frosting mix was white, but hey, the frosting in the Spring Cupcakes changed colors after mixing it with butter...so looks can be deceiving.
In the end I guessed correctly that the yellow mix was the cake. And fortunately, the cake part came out halfway decent yet again. It was yellow and fluffy and had lots of colored speckles all through it.
The frosting in Trader Joe's Chromatic Celebration Mix was even runnier this time. And it was oily somehow. If anything, I erred on the side of less butter than was called for, but the mix tasted and looked like there was excess butter. Maybe I didn't mix it long enough.
Also, the box made it clear to use "room temperature" butter. We only had frozen sticks of butter. I thought, "Ha. Room temperature? That's not gonna happen!" and I nuked my stick and 3/4 of butter and started mixing away. I also added the sprinkles to the frosting mixture itself before plopping it on the cupcakes, and um, well, they mostly dissolved. So that's why I opted to show you the interior of one of our cupcakes, complete with lovely colored speckles, with a few dollops of buttery off-white frosting dispersed around the base of the delicacy on the plate instead of the finished iced cupcake with colorful frosting.
Most of our readers could probably bake something like this with their eyes closed. But it seems the Spring Cupcake Mix was slightly more idiot-proof than this colorful concoction. And yes, that's me. I'm the idiot.
But they taste pretty good if I do say so myself. Pretty much your typical yellow vanilla cake mix. $4.99 for the box. Needs 2 eggs, 3/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup oil, and 14 Tbsp butter. Fun. Colorful. Would make a nice Easter treat. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me on Trader Joe's Chromatic Celebration Cake & Baking Mix.
Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.
At a quick glance, this is at least the 15th iteration of Joe-Joe's sandwich cookies that we've reviewed on this blog. And that's not including the Joe-Joe's derivative products like ice cream, cereal, and beverages that flaunt the Joe-Joe's moniker and/or contain chunks of real Joe-Joe's cookies.
That's a lot of dang cookies.
So if we're tough graders on a perfectly delicious product, it's only because Trader Joe's needs to keep setting the bar higher and higher with each Joe-Joe's product. Because what's the point of introducing new Joe-Joe's and discontinuing old ones if not to offer a better and better cookie?
I mean, honestly, Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Chocolate Sandwich Cookies with Coffee Creme are really decent treats. They're heavy. Dense. Rich. Sonia likes the word "decadent," but I think it's overused. I mean, it's certainly applicable here, but I feel like the word "indulgent" is more appropriate somehow. I guess they mean about the same thing in the end.
Maybe we're just getting older and more boring but we each had a single cookie from the sleeve and said, "Wow. I'm done." I washed mine down with cold milk. Sonia chased hers with hot coffee. There's just so much sugar and chocolate and cookie and coffee crammed in there, just a few bites are enough to satisfy our sweet tooths. Er, sweet teeth?
There's definitely a mocha vibe. Dark chocolate and real ground coffee beans will do that. I feel like the chocolate is slightly dominant. There's "white confectionary coating" and vanilla flavors in the mix, too, so it's not a bitter dark chocolate flavor at all. It's about as candy-esque as dark chocolate gets. And then there are whispers of coffee here and there, mostly in the creamy core of the cookie.
I'm sure the interzones are ablaze with the praises of Trader Joe's Coffee and Dark Chocolate Joe-Joe's. If it's your first time at the Joe-Joe's rodeo or you just really like mocha stuff, it's a safe bet you're gonna love these. Sonia and I will easily finish the box over the next few days, but we agree it's not a re-purchase for us.
$3.49 for eight cookies. Three and a half stars a piece for <breathes in> Trader Joe's Coffee & Dark Chocolate Joe-Joe's Chocolate Sandwich Cookies with Coffee Creme in a Dark Chocolate and Coffee Coating <breathes out> from Sonia and me.
Bottom line: 7 out of 10.
I thought about putting this review up for April Fools' Day and acting like I tried to make an omelette out of these soap eggs. But meh, the first day of April fell on a Saturday this year and we generally don't post on Saturdays and it would so obviously be a joke, it wouldn't really fool anybody. So I decided to make this an early Easter post instead.
We've only done a couple other non-food, non-beverage reviews throughout this blog's 12 and a half year history. We looked at one other type of soap, some mouthwash, and of course, the Grump Tree. So why look at Trader Joe's Egg Shaped Soaps? Because they're Easter-ish, and because I felt like it.
Just like real eggs, these come in a carton. There are only two eggs here, though, instead of a dozen. The fragrances are really nice. The pinkish-purplish egg is lavender & honey while the blue-green one is blueberry. They just smell like really expensive decorative soaps.
Like if I were a suburbanite trophy wife soccer mom, I'd totally get a basket, fill it with that fake plastic green Easter grass and buy like a dozen of these eggs. I think I'd unwrap them before placing them in the basket just so the smell would bowl you over as you walked into the bathroom. I'd never let anyone actually use them as soap and would break them out each spring, year after year, and everybody in town would talk about how great my bathroom smells around Easter.
But I'm a dude, so I just unwrapped them and started scrubbing away in the shower. And what do you know? They're good for cleaning your body and face and stuff, too. And after your shower, you smell like lavender & honey and/or blueberries. I guess the scents are a little feminine, but after throwing on deodorant and body spray, the residual smell isn't really detectable.
Sonia likes 'em. She's the one that bought them. I don't know what it is with women and decorative soaps. At least she lets me use them as actual soap. Props to you, wifey.
$2.69 for two egg-shaped soaps. Four out of five stars a piece for Trader Joe's Egg Soaps.
Bottom line: 8 out of 10.
