It's a NEW kind of EBTB. This time we've got not one but TWO alcoholic beverages flaunting the delicious flavors of sesame seeds, minced garlic, dried onion, and poppy seeds! Er, wait. It's not that kind of EBTB. This is Everything but the Bartender, not Everything but the Bagel.
Makes sense. I don't think I'd want a cocktail with bagel seasoning in it. What we DO have are pre-mixed drinks that come in little 200mL cans. One is a cosmopolitan—a drink I'm not terribly familiar with, featuring vodka and triple sec. The other? A classic lime margarita—I'm somewhat more familiar with those. Proper margaritas are made with tequila and this selection is no exception.
The taste? Holy cow! They're both SWEET. Like bordering on too sweet, even for me. They have nice fruity flavors and you can taste all the constituent ingredients just fine. There's a bit more complexity and tartness to the cosmopolitan while the margarita is nearly candy-esque. For that reason, Sonia prefers the cosmopolitan. I enjoy them both about the same but I wouldn't seek either of them out for a repurchase.
The cosmo is $11 and the margarita is $12 for four cans each. We're looking at 15% alcohol by volume in both cases. The EBTB Cosmopolitan will get eight out of ten stars from us while Trader Joe's EBTB Margarita will get seven and three quarters.
Bottom line: Trader Joe's Everything but the Bartender Cosmopolitan: 8 out of 10.
Bottom line: Trader Joe's Everything but the Bartender Margarita: 7.75 out of 10.
These little candy bars are not individually wrapped, in case you were wondering like I was. That's good because it would be an incredible waste of materials since there are so many of the baby candies in the package. But it's also bad because the wrappers kind of slow you down as you're shoveling the chocolate into your mouth. In this case, it's just candy bar after candy bar flowing seamlessly from the plastic bag right into your belly. At least the bag is resealable.
They are indeed "teensy" candy bars. They're even smaller than your typical "fun size" candy bar like the kind you give out to kids at Halloween. These are maybe half that size.
They've got a really nice soft, chewy texture and a nutty, chocolatey flavor. Peanuts are the second ingredient, as a matter of fact, coming in just after sugar on the list. There's a healthy amount of nougat and just a touch of caramel flavor. They're not a far cry from Snickers in terms of overall flavor.
We've got palm oil in the mix, so there's a good chunk of your daily saturated fat. But hey, they're chocolate bars. They're not claiming to be diet food.
$2.99 is a pretty decent price for the amount of candy you're getting. And they're quite tasty. We'd buy 'em again. Product of Germany. We all know those Deutsch folk love their chocolate. We'll both go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Teensy Candy Bars.
