Trader Joe's Almond Chipotle Dip

I thought there was about a zero percent chance this stuff would even be edible. I've tried enough vegan dips, cheeses, condiments, and sauces in my day to know it's rare if those types of products are worth a single provisional purchase, let alone the times when they're actually good and could potentially become a household staple or replace something made with dairy. Here's the one exception I can think of off the top of my head: Trader Joe's Vegan Tzatziki Dip.

I'm equally impressed with this product. I thought it would taste like rancid almond butter with a few spices tossed into the mix. Nope. In fact, the almond butter base doesn't really interfere with the chipotle flavor at all somehow. It's only faintly nutty. The main essence of the dip is a spicy, tangy, zippy chipotle. It's slightly garlicky and smoky, but not over the top on either count. There's a hint of onions and black pepper, but it's mostly just chipotle flavor—in this case coming from a chipotle pepper powder.

Oddly, it's a bit thinner than almond butter. I'd say it's even thinner than most dairy-based chipotle dips I've had, but it still coats quite well. It also works fine that way because it packs quite a punch even if you use very little—it's only moderately spicy yet very flavorful.

We used it in place of cheese with nachos, as a taco sauce, a dip for chips, and a glaze for chicken. It even worked with veggies like carrots and broccoli. I'm surprised how versatile it proved to be.

$3.49 for the tub. Vegan. Would buy again. Four stars from me. Three and a half from Sonia for Trader Joe's Almond Chipotle Dip.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats and Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Overnight Oats

Trader Joe's Apple Overnight Oats: Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats: Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Overnight Oats: Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Almond Butter Chia Overnight Oats: Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Roasted Hatch Chile & Jalapeño Cheese Dip and Trader Joe's Garlic & Asiago Cheese Dip

Here are a couple of cheesy dips that appeared at Trader Joe's around the holidays. As of the time this review is being composed, the hatch and jalapeño version shows still available on traderjoes.com while the asiago one does not. They both have a sour cream base, flaunt extremely similar packaging, and can be zapped in the microwave for quick and easy prepping or heated in a conventional oven. Unfortunately, I don't think there's any practical way to heat these in the air fryer. Boo.

But they're both quite tasty and are great for that New Year's diet you started. No? You don't consider these diet foods? They're only 60 and 70 calories per serving, respectively. And chile peppers raise your metabolism. I think it's time to declare 2024 the year of the hatch chile diet. Just remember, it's not a lie...if you believe it. Thanks to reader halcyon for reminding me of that great George Costanza quote. That's my new mantra.

Let's talk about dip now, shall we? Although Sonia and I enjoyed both of these condiments quite a bit, I liked the hatch and jalapeño version slightly more than the asiago version while Sonia felt the opposite. I must admit the chile pepper dip was a tad oilier than its cheesy cousin, but I really liked the way the peppers spiced up the sharp cheddar and sour cream base. Sonia liked the fluffiness of the asiago dip and loved the asiago and mozzarella cheese flavors.

Both dips went great with chips, pretzels, bread, and even veggies. We would have tried them with other items, but honestly, they didn't last that long. Ten ounces each. I think 10 servings per package is a little generous, but I guess that's an FDA thing..?

Found in the refrigerated section. $4.99 for each microwavable dip tray. Would consider a repeat purchase. These will wind up with 7.5 star scores each, with me going a half star higher on Trader Joe's Roasted Hatch Chile & Jalapeño Cheese Dip and Sonia going half a star higher on Trader Joe's Garlic & Asiago Cheese Dip.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Cranberry Orange & Onion

So here's an odd little condiment we've been experimenting with over the past few weeks. I wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.

To the melody of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme:

"It's oily, it's crunchy,
it's just a tad bit munchy.
Will this little bunchy
enhance charcuterie?
It's a citrus dispenser
that cracks up taste bud sensors.
Let cranny orange onion
spruce up your lame turkey!"

And that's all I've got so far. I know you were all hoping for a full length song, so sorry to disappoint. Anyhoo, it's pretty obviously the classic Chili Onion Crunch but with a festive, fruity blend of citrus and berry flavors added in.

I liked the original product okay, but I thought it really shined when applied to other condiments such as hummus. See: Crunchy Chili Onion Hummus. And like the original, it's not super apparent to dummies like me what this sauce is wanting to be paired with.

We experimented with chicken and turkey mostly. The picture you see is actually Oscar Mayer Natural Plate AKA "Healthy Lunchables" or "Lunchables for Adults" with a bit of Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Cranberry Orange & Onion sauce applied. It worked pretty well. I always said those natural cracker, meat, and cheese snacks needed to come with a condiment, but I never thought to add something as exotic as this. I usually reach for dijon mustard with that stuff.

I must admit it worked much better, however, on actual turkey sandwiches. We just added turkey, swiss, and arugula to sourdough bread, grilled them panini style, and also added this sauce. That worked even better than pan-fried chicken if you ask us.

There's a fair amount of heat here from the ancho chili. In fact, I'd say that's the dominant flavor. It overshadows the cranberry orange elements by a good bit. I wish the fruit flavors were a little stronger. It's also too heavy on oil. I'm sure there's a reason for that, but I found myself applying it with a fork all the time so I could let the olive oil drain out before distributing the condiment.

$4.49 for the jar. Not sure if we'd buy again. We still have a good bit left and I wouldn't be surprised if there's some still at the back of the fridge come the 2024 holiday season. It should still be good then, right? As long as it smells fine, we'll still eat it. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Three out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Cranberry Orange & Onion.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Figgy Cheddar

Well, it's Christmas yet again. And in lieu of figgy pudding—which I've still never even tried, by the way—we've got some figgy cheddar cheese, which we'll be munching on throughout this soggy winter's day, along with some all beef sausage and crackers.

This block of cheese is a fine mild cheddar, produced in the U.K. It's nice and soft and not very sharp at all. Most of TJ's cheeses are high-quality, so that's usually not something you have to worry about.

But it has figs in it. Weird, right? Does it work? Yeah, sorta. The figs lend a faint sweetness that otherwise wouldn't be there, which I expected. What I wasn't prepared for was the odd crunchiness from the fig seeds. Just as you get a bit of grittiness when eating a dried fig, there are whispers of crunch in this block of cheddar. It's a tad odd, but it's still a tasty cheese.

The "spiced" part of the figs is negligible. You don't really taste much, if any, of the coriander, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, and fennel mentioned in the ingredients—not that I was really hoping to. This is figgy cheddar after all, not pumpkin spice cheddar. Shoot, I better not give them any ideas for next fall...

The fig bits could be bigger, honestly. I think it would help the unique flavor shine a little more, but then there would be more of that weird sandy grit, too, so...never mind. $8.68 for our block, priced by weight—looks like $11 per pound I think. Sonia likes it a little more than I do. She'd buy again, while I'm on the fence. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Figgy Cheddar.

Merry Christmas, everybody! Thanks for reading!

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Astounding Multi-Flavor Mini Pretzels and Trader Joe's Jingle Jangle Pretzel Twists

Related links:

Trader Joe's Jingle Jangle

Trader Joe's Jingle Jangle Ice Cream

Trader Joe's and the Astounding Multi-Flavor Joe-Joe's

Trader Joe's Holiday Vegetable Hash

Trader Joe's is selling the good stuff now. And it's not just any hash, it's a special strain cultivated for this magical holiday season. But try as I may to roll it up and light it up, I just couldn't get this bud to burn. Somebody gotta tell Joe to dry his goods before selling them. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat these little hash chunks. They even give you suggestions for using them as edibles right on the package. You can make super stimulating soup or stoner stuffing with this stuff. Far out.

All hash jokes aside, our mixture seemed like it was teetering on the verge of being too dry, honestly. A bit more moisture would have been quite pleasant here. The squash and sweet potato bites were a little too hard and even the celery seemed stiff. We did consume it a couple days before the "best by" date, but it seemed like maybe our batch had seen better days..?

It's not a mix I'd ever want to eat on its own. In addition to the lack of moisture and abundance of firmness, it's a very odd flavor combo to me. When cold, the onions clash with the sweet potato and squash, and the herbs and spices are overrepresented.

As far as seasonings are concerned, we're looking at parsley, sage, rosemary, and...wait. What? Just parsley, sage, rosemary...and no thyme. I bet Simon and Garfunkel are rolling over in their graves right now. Wait. What? Neither of those guys are dead yet? Well, that's good, I guess. Time for a reunion tour then, maybe?

As an additive to other foods, I guess I'm failing to find a soup that suits this unusual mishmash of not-super-Christmassy oddball ingredients. Sonia sautéed it with salt and olive oil, and I must say I like this melange much better when served warm. The oil helps with the dryness, and all the flavors blend into a nice savory snack—much less harsh and bitter than when consumed raw. It works amazingly well as an accompaniment to eggs.

The beautiful wifey has big plans to serve up the remainder of our hash with a Cornish hen, but I don't think we'll get to that before this review gets posted. In light of how good this stuff is when served as a hot dish, I'll have to give it the benefit of the doubt. Sonia agrees.

$4.99 for the 18 oz container. Three and a half stars a piece from the wifey and me for Trader Joe's Holiday Vegetable Hash.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Gingerbread Ice Cream

I'm definitely an ice cream-all-year-round kinda guy. Most of my life, I've lived in places with four seasons. Ice cream in December might make sense to Southern Californians, but it might not be the norm for folks in the Mid-Atlantic or Upper Midwest. 

Actually, I take that back. In my hometown in central Pennsylvania, there'd be folks in line for ice cream at The Igloo all throughout the winter months. And the Berkey Creamery at Penn State never closed even in the freezing cold. I guess it's just part of the culture when you live in places surrounded by dairy farms.

At any rate, we never shy away from newfangled ice cream from Trader Joe's even if it's cold outside, so let's dig in. The actual ice cream here is gingerbread flavored. There are also nice big pieces of ginger cookies and a molasses-esque "gingerbread swirl." I think a vanilla base would have worked a little better here than the spicy brown base they used. A bit more creamy and sweet would have helped put the ginger spices in check, in the manner of Cookie Butter Ice Cream.

Still, this is a decent ice cream flavor, particularly if you love gingerrific ginger snaps. Every few bites or so, we got a piece of powerful, sinus-clearing raw ginger. I didn't really mind it since it wasn't in every bite. There were enough sweet and desserty elements that the raw ginger bits helped to balance them out, and they blended well with the molasses, cinnamon, and nutmeg flavors.

$3.79 for the pint. In summary, this ice cream is a festive, high quality, specialty dessert. It'll hit the spot for folks that absolutely love ginger. For other folks like Sonia and me, it was fun to try just once, but we'll return to vanilla-based ice creams that balance out the ginger spices a little better in the future. Three and a half stars a piece from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Gingerbread Ice Cream.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Double Fold Bourbon Vanilla Extract

Like most people, I love the smell of vanilla extract. I love it as an ingredient in all manner of desserts and cakes and I enjoy the flavor it provides. However, unlike most people, I even like the taste of it straight out of the container, plain. I mean, I wouldn't drink a whole bottle of it like that, but I probably could on a dare or some similar situation.

After taking in a few whiffs of this Double Fold Bourbon Vanilla Extract, I was absolutely enchanted. I informed Sonia that I was going to try it straight. She cautioned me against it in the same manner that my parents used to, but being the wild man that I am, I proceeded to pour a teaspoon full and lap it up like so much fragrant water.

It's harsh and full of alcohol, for sure, but I mean, some bourbon can be pretty harsh and astringent, flavor-wise. It's got a distinct bourbon flavor and plenty of pure vanilla, too. It's like a shot of regular vanilla extract mixed with a dash of straight bourbon, slightly stronger than a spoonful of normal vanilla extract.

As an ingredient in food, it lends a nice earthy sweetness. Sonia made some pancakes using this elixir, and they came out just a little more vanillatastic than pancakes made with normal vanilla extract. I made a London fog beverage with some Earl Grey, half and half, honey, and this stuff, and it was lovely.

At first $7.99 seems a little steep for just 3.55 fluid ounces, but considering the quality and the fact that it's imported all the way from Mauritius, it could be a lot worse. Hard to score something like this. I think I'll throw out three and a half stars. Put the beautiful wifey down for four on Trader Joe's Double Fold Bourbon Vanilla Extract with Vanilla Bean Seeds.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Picanté Peppers

If Peter Parker picked a pack of pickled picanté peppers, then where's the pantry where the people put the package of pretty pepper pieces? Or something like that...

So here we have pickled peppers submerged in oil and vacuum-sealed in a jar, along with plenty of salt. Not surprisingly, the product is shelf stable for quite some time—about two years—but the package label says "once opened, keep refrigerated and consume within 5 days." Five days?? We don't even get a week to eat these? You'd think they'd keep almost indefinitely if they're refrigerated and still submerged in oil, salt, and acidifiers. I have a feeling we won't finish the whole jar in such a short span of time, but this review will be posted well before we know for sure.

First thoughts: just like the sweet peppers you get from sandwich joints. I know they exist outside of Subway and Jersey Mike's, but that's where I know this flavor from. They're usually sliced into little strips there, but here we have the whole pepper.

The cheese? It doesn't really specify what type of cheese it is, but it strikes me as just your typical cream cheese or what have you. It's good and it pairs pretty well with the pepper flavor.

As far as the "picanté" aspect is concerned, yes there is a hint of peppery spice, but it's quite mild by our standards. Sweet? Yes. Quite sweet. Cheesy? Yes. Quite cheesy. But not very hot.

These went crazy well with water crackers and beef summer sausage. I don't really like them on their own, but they do very well with other charcuterie style foods. They need something bready to soak up all that oil. They're absolutely dripping with sunflower and canola oils and it's very difficult to get them completely dry.

$4.99 for the 5 serving jar. Not a bad thing to stash away in the back of the pantry for a rainy day. Four stars from me. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Sweet Picanté Peppers with Creamy Cheese Filling.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tiniest Chocolate Chip Cookies

 

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheddar Cheese Sticks

"Cheese sticks." Hope nobody got a pay raise or promotion for coming up with that creative product title. Why not cheese swords or cheesy rods or cheese branches or cheesy trees? Oh wait. They already did that one. The packaging is lackluster at best, and these crispy little do-dads don't even have a listing on traderjoes.com as far as I could tell. Oh well.

Thanksgiving week tends to be the slowest time of year in terms of blog traffic, so I often throw out kind of oddball generic reviews of boring-ish products during that time because, hey, what have I got to lose?

What's working here: the texture is nice and crispy, crunchy, but not overly hard. The sticks are brittle but even my sensitive teeth and gums aren't irritated even after gnawing on a few of these sourdough sticks. They pair great with almost any kind of soup, especially tomato-based ones, and who needs croutons for a salad when you have these? The sourdough flavor is pleasant, as well, but not overpowering. 

What's not working here: there's definitely some cheese flavor, but I think they could have packed them with a bit more. I guess too much cheese would reduce the shelf life of the product and make it more prone to spoilage, but doesn't all that salt help with preservation?

$2.99 for approximately a dozen cheese sticks. I guess we'd buy this item again just to have it in the back of the pantry to serve with tomato soup in lieu of grilled cheese or something more elaborate. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Cheddar Cheese Sticks.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken, Cheese & Green Chile Pupusas

In my experience, pupusas were always the staple food for folks from El Salvador. Those Salvadoreños would seize any opportunity to introduce us gringos to their favorite pupusa joint, often just a hole in the wall or some unsuspecting apartment in a random neighborhood. They'd come out with lots of little clear plastic bags tied at the top with rubber bands. It might have looked like a shady narcotics deal if not for the fact the bags were obviously filled with veggies, sauces, and shredded cheese.

The base element for those pupusas was always a puffy pancake-esque cake similar to the one we have here, although those were generally much lighter. Some weren't filled at all, and all the flavor came from whatever you put on top—usually some pickled cabbage, a thin salsa, and jack cheese—possibly shredded chicken or other meat. Others had a thin layer of beans or maybe cheese baked into the middle of the disc.

Lacking the cabbage topping and unique salsa, I was skeptical of this offering from Trader Joe's. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with them, and their filling is quite a bit more interesting than the street style pupusas I've had in the past. There's no detectable chicken pieces. It's just a whirled mush of chicken and cheese with a few flecks of green chiles scattered throughout.

Using the air fryer method, the breading part of the cake gets slightly crispy. It's a good quality corn masa—authentic enough for me. The overall flavor is salty and savory and there's enough chicken and cheese flavor to be satisfying. The chile pieces add a bit of a kick, but salsa of any kind is in order if you're craving something truly picante.

We added onions to ours in lieu of Salvadoran slaw and experimented with a few different types of hot sauces and salsas. Nothing quite replicated what we'd had from restaurants but we were happy enough to finish the meal, one pupusa each, and contemplated heating the third one immediately and splitting it between the two of us, although in the end, we opted to save it for later.

I think the moral of the story here is to buy or make some Salvadoran cabbage relish, or "curtido," and have it on standby when you eat these. While any tomato-based salsa will do in a pinch, looking up an authentic recipe online might be worth it in this instance, too. Either way, it's not a bad product and it's a simple way to introduce yourself to the world of pupusas.

$4.79 for three servings. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Chicken, Cheese & Green Chile Pupusas.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Italian Tomato & Burrata Ravioloni

Apparently "ravioloni" is just a larger version of ravioli. They just made the word longer so you'd know the pasta is bigger. Although, "ravioletti" is the smallest version of all, so...never mind. At first glance inside the packaging, they don't appear to be any larger than normal ravioli, but I must admit they about doubled in size while boiling in water.

These reminded me quite a bit of the recently-reviewed Vegan Italian Bolognese Ravioli, and they were similarly, you know, not bad-ish. I think the flavor of these square pasta pieces was a tad tastier than their round vegan counterparts, thanks to the presence of real burrata cheese.

There were sort of off-yellow colored pieces and orange colored pieces, representing the limoncello and mango flavors, respectively. Just kidding about the fruit flavors. They're just pasta flavored. Once again, tomato is pretty dominant, but cheese rounds out the dish nicely, especially if you add a touch of parmesan to the finished product.

There still wasn't a ton of filling in these oversized raviolis, and the pasta itself was on the thin side, but it's a step in the right direction from those Bolognese fellows. There are only about a dozen pieces of pasta in the whole package, too, which is a bit stingy if you ask me, but I guess four bucks isn't exactly breaking the bank, either. The package is supposedly three servings, which would amount to about four pieces of pasta each. Sonia and I did six for her, six for me, and it worked out nicely for a moderately-filling lunch.

The wifey says she'd buy again. I'm on the fence. Something like four stars from Sonia and three from me once again for Trader Joe's Italian Tomato & Burrata Ravioloni.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Broccoli & Cheddar Cheese Quiche

Eleven years ago, Sonia and I did our very first video review on Trader Joe's Mexicaine Quiche, a comparable product to this one with similar packaging and preparation instructions. The dish didn't exactly wow us, so for the most part, we've avoided Trader Joe's quiche offerings for the past decade.

Although, I must admit, I had completely forgotten about odd little items like this one, which were similarly underwhelming and unmemorable. But even so, at long last, it is time to give TJ's quiche another whirl. This time, it's the broccoli and cheddar variety.

There's plenty of egg and cheese here. The crust is nice and crumbly. It's slightly buttery and supple. Somehow, I feel this product flaunts a tastier spice blend than some of its predecessors. It certainly isn't spicy per se, but there's a nice overall flavor, which some of the other quiches lacked. There's onion in there, which helps, but as far as actual herbs and spices, all I'm seeing is garlic, salt, and pepper. In my humble opinion, it's enough—although, a few dabs of hot sauce can't hurt, either.

There are large chunks of broccoli here and there, which can be a little stringy. The bites that contained very small bits of broccoli were better texture-wise, and I think more finely-chopped veggies would have helped distribute the greens around the dish more evenly.

$2.99 for the single serving quiche. It's nothing to write home about, but I definitely don't hate it, either. It makes a more interesting breakfast than toaster pastries or cereal, I suppose. I don't know if I'd seek this product out again, but if I found it in the back of my freezer, I'd happily fire up the oven and eat it without complaint. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Broccoli & Cheddar Cheese Quiche.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Baked Sheep's Milk Ricotta Cheese

Calling this cheese "ricotta" threw me off a little at first. This is nothing like any other ricotta I've tried. We reviewed a cow's milk version on here not too long ago. I'm hardly a cheese expert—surprise, surprise—but this stuff reminds me of buffalo mozzarella way more than ricotta.

By itself, the cheese would be super clean and fresh but not very flavorful at all. The herbs de provence provide nearly all of the taste. It's fairly rosemary-forward to my palate. What else do I detect? Salt and some oregano, maybe..? There's also thyme and basil listed in the ingredients. Sure, I can tell they're there now that I read the list. There's also an herb called "savory" that I was unfamiliar with prior to this product. Apparently it's common in herbs de provence.

It's a nice blend of herbs. Placing thin slices of the cheese on a toasted baguette seems to be the best way to consume this product. It didn't really do much for pasta, and dessert-ish applications don't seem appropriate here at all. The simple pairing of this cheese with bread allows the herbs to shine and makes a more toothsome snack than cheese alone. I suppose water crackers would provide a similarly neutral pairing.

Sonia made the astute observation that it would go quite well with a balsamic glaze or something similar. I'd have to agree. We tried it with this grape must glaze and bread and it worked surprisingly well.

We paid $5.11 for our little circle of cheese. I think it was $12 per pound. It's definitely not what we expected, but it's quite good for what it is. And it's a little on the pricey side, but all gourmet cheeses tend to be that way.

Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Baked Sheep's Milk Ricotta Cheese with Herbs de Provence.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Josephsbrau Oktoberfest

I guess technically Oktoberfest season is over already, but since it's still the month of October, I'll squeeze this brief beverage review in here for the benefit of next year's readers at least. I'm no expert when it comes to Oktoberfest beers, so I'll just make this a quickie today. We've looked at numerous other Josephsbrau products on this blog, but I think this is the first one we've seen in a can.

This beer strikes me as being similar to other Oktoberfest selections I've tried, but perhaps thinner, lighter, and not quite as bold. The flavor is faintly leafy, nutty, and malty. I just drank it straight from the can, so I didn't really analyze the color, head, and clarity or anything like that.

I wouldn't have minded a tad more carbonation. It was a little fizzy but maybe not quite enough. By the end of the can it was noticeably more flat than it had been just a couple minutes prior.

At $1.34 for the can, the price is right and it's worth a purchase or two just to see if you'll like it or not. 5.3% ABV. Sonia and I will throw out three and a half stars a piece for Josephsbrau Oktoberfest.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheese, Spinach & Kale Egg Bites

I know, I know. Cholesterol is bad for you or something like that. But isn't some cholesterol good cholesterol? Wouldn't the cholesterol in egg yolks be the good kind? I like egg yolks. One of my all-time favorite social media tag lines for a post on this blog was for this egg white salad and it read:

Dear Yolk,
I miss you.
Yours,
Mr. White

It's like a little story in and of itself, in letter format. I realize it's totally arrogant and narcissistic to reference my own stuff like it's some kind of classic work of literature or something, but I bring it up because the same could be said about this product. Why do you hate yolks, Trader Joe?

That said, there's way more flavor in this product than that poor, sad egg white salad. And this product isn't bragging about being "spicy" or flaunting cowboy artwork on its packaging. This packaging says, "if you don't get your hopes up and just want some egg white and some veggies, you won't be let down." And I wasn't. Maybe because my expectations weren't particularly high.

The cottage cheese works really well here. It adds some tang and body to the dish. The two tiny eggy circles are still not very filling. Sonia and I shared them, one for each of us. But I see on the packaging that both bites together are considered a single serving. That tracks, because I could have eaten four or five of these things in one sitting, no problem.

There's a fair amount of spinach and kale throughout the product. One or two bites were just a tad stringy, but not overly so. The spice blend, including garlic powder, onion powder, and white pepper, was nice too.

$3.49 for a dish that's not very heavy at all. It tastes okay and it's probably not very fattening, so there's that. They're also very convenient, going from refrigerated to hot in 60 seconds. I guess we'd buy again? Three and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Cheese, Spinach & Kale Egg Bites.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Celebration Cake Gelato

Sonia and I are celebrating our 14th anniversary this week, so among other things, we decided to break open this Celebration Cake Gelato since neither of us got to try it around our birthdays.

It's pretty obviously just a birthday cake style frozen dessert: vanilla with colorful sprinkles. It has the dense creaminess of gelato, the indulgent sweetness of cake and icing, and the fun, festive colors you'd associate with any type of celebration.

But here's the best part and the worst part: there are real cake pieces throughout the mix, and the bites that contain some are superb and scrumptious, but they are way too small and far and few between—so most bites, unfortunately, do not contain any luscious birthday cake.

Eating straight from the pint container becomes a mining errand, with each cakeless bite causing more and more frustration and each cakeful one propelling the consumer to dig with renewed fervor in search of that motherlode of legendary cakey goodness.

Alas, there was no giant cache of cake at the bottom of the carton. There were maybe a dozen paltry whispers of baked confection in the entire product. It almost would have been better to include none so we'd have been ignorant of what we were missing.

Our final score would have been at least one and a half stars higher had there been adequate quantities of cake in this product. As is, Sonia will still throw out a generous four out of five. I'll go with three and a half. Trader Joe's Celebration Cake Gelato with Cake Pieces & Rainbow Sprinkles is good, but it needs more mix-ins to be considered great. $3.79 for the pint.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Petite Pumpkin Spice Cookies

I know, I know. Pumpkin triggers some of you. It seems to be especially bad when it's "pumpkin spice." I think "pumpkin spice latte" is the epitome of fall fare trigger phrases. With that in mind, "petite pumpkin spice cookies" probably isn't exactly music to some of your ears, but hey, I know you're not going to want to hear this: you pumpkin-haters are a distinct minority.

Repeatedly, routinely, across all social media, people taking polls about pumpkin spice respond positively to PS products and say they do want pumpkin and pumpkin spice reviews. It's just under 25% that seem to despise the stuff. So until those polls hit 51% anti-pumpkin sentiment or higher, I'm gonna keep buying and reviewing these products.

Now I certainly don't love every pumpkin spice product I try—not by a long shot. Nor do I hate every pumpkin product I try. I do get tired of it each and every year by the end of the autumn season, but then I'm always ready for some more 9 or 10 months later. This is only our third new pumpkin item of the season from Trader Joe's, so I'm still more or less in pumpkin spice mode and Sonia most definitely is, too.

That said, these cookies are pretty much what I expected them to be. The only thing on the packaging that threw me off a little was where they describe these cookies as "shortbread." I'm not saying they're not shortbread, but I think "gingerbread" would have been more accurate in terms of flavor.

Sonia likes them a good bit more than I do. They remind her of Mother's Circus Animals, but with cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and ginger. She likes them a lot with coffee, and she thinks they'd be fun for kids or office parties.

There are white pumpkins with orange nonpareils and orange pumpkins with white nonpareils. They're yogurty on the outside and crunchy and bready on the inside. Like I said: no surprises here. The pumpkin spice level is fairly well balanced with the sweet coating and the wheat cookie flavors, but these little treats are still just garden-variety autumnal snackage by my estimation.

$3.99 for the 10 oz box. Sonia would buy again next year. Four stars from her. I'd eat a couple out of Sonia's box, but I would not feel the need to purchase my own. Three out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Petite Pumpkin Spice Cookies.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.