Trader Joe's Maple Flavored Fudge

Butter and maple syrup: the two best parts of the pancake, together at last, without all that pesky bread getting in the way.

If a charming block of English Butter Fudge decided to cross the pond and have a torrid love affair with a Canuck named Maple Sugar Candy, they might conceive a child named Maple Flavored Fudge, and he'd look and taste something like this...although phrasing it that way sounds a little weird.

This candy is quite mapley. Some of you might have guessed as much, but considering there are about four different types of sugar as well as butter, milk, and cream all listed in the ingredients above maple syrup, I didn't take it as a given. It's just like traditional maple candy except much more buttery. The butteriness is a good thing in my book.

I like maple candy okay, but I tire of it after just a piece or two. I don't really tire of the flavor of these dealies quite as quickly, but I do stop in relatively short order anyway for fear of the enamel on my teeth being replaced by a glaze of maplicious sugar and a resident brood of bone-boring bacteria taking up residence in my mouth.

Seriously, though, I can feel this stuff on my teeth after just a single piece, and I'm overwhelmed with the urge to chew gum or gargle Listerine almost immediately. On the plus side, it's not nearly as hard as toffee. The texture is nice and soft with just a bit of graininess. It feels firm enough in your fingers, but it absolutely melts in your mouth.

Sonia's a fan, and she isn't as concerned with oral hygiene as I am, apparently. So, you know, if you've got a sweet tooth and good dental insurance, have at it...

$2.99 for about 5 servings of 3 fudge pieces each. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. She'd buy again. I really do like the rich maple taste, but my dental hangup might prevent me from buying again any time soon. I'll throw out three and a half stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Maple Spiced Nut Mix

I think Trader Joe's had a whole bunch of rosemary and rosemary-laden nuts left over from that Rosemary's Baby mix or whatever it was called, so they just added a bit of maple flavor, dried cranberries, and pumpkin seeds to make this fall-themed nut mix.

And everything about this mix is stellar...except the fact that there's way too much freaking rosemary. I seriously feel like they were unable to procure the requisite quantity of normal almonds and pecans to maplify so they simply used what they had left from the Nuts About Rosemary version. Like, why does this mix need rosemary? Also, red and black pepper? This mix is oddly spicy, and there's an unexpected heat that actually tingles the tongue, particularly after munching a handful or two.

I've never encountered rosemary maple nuts before, but apparently, they're a thing. I don't dislike the combo. I guess I was just hoping for more mapley sweetness and not necessarily any of the aromatic woodsiness of rosemary or the bite of black pepper.

But hey, now that I know it's not just sweet, it's kinda growing on me. There's an unexpected intensity to the mix that just takes a bit of getting used to. If you're into rosemary and pepper, you'll probably love it.

$5.99 for 8.5 oz of spicy, mapley nuts. We're on the fence about a repeat purchase, which generally translates into not a repeat purchase just because there's always way too much new stuff to try at Trader Joe's. This is a quality product and will surely find its fanbase, but it's not exactly what Sonia and I were expecting. Double three and a halfs on this one.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Caramel Apple Dipping Kit

Word on the street is that this product will be back on Trader Joe's shelves in a matter of weeks, so we better take a look at it now so you know whether it's worth a purchase or not. Since the tachyon fields are fairly stable this time of year...and, of course, because I own my very own time machine, there's no point in just waiting around. Let's travel back to the good old days of October 2022 when a few of these fun-for-the-whole-family packs were still available. 

We'll snag Trader Joe's Caramel Apple Dipping Kit and review it ahead of its re-release in September 2023. If you've been wondering what the magical DeLorean TARDIS time sled hot tub looks like in real life, you're in luck. The video below contains exclusive footage of the time machine in action.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Lime Margarita

When it's this freaking hot, refreshment is always on the forefront of my mind. I know, I know. Alcoholic beverages aren't exactly the best for hydration over the long run, but man, they sure hit the spot over the short term.

A sweet, fruity cocktail with ice is in order after a late afternoon walk in full sunshine and 100°+ heat. I think I sweat a gallon in the last fifteen minutes. Trader Joe's Lime Margarita to the rescue.

I'm definitely more fond of this beverage than the recently-reviewed Vodka Mule. On paper, I like vodka about as much as tequila, and both beverages have lime, so those factors should cancel out. I'm a fan of ginger-flavored beverages, too, so my money would have been on the mule to be the big winner.

I'm not sure what it is. I think the lime flavor comes through more in this margarita, and I'd say it's a tad sweeter, too. The fizz levels are comparable, of course, and the packaging is nearly identical—we've got yellow and green here instead of two shades of blue.

I couldn't tell you if there's triple sec and simple syrup in there because, again, there are no ingredients or nutrition info listed on alcoholic drinks. I mean, they tell you it's 10% ABV or 20 proof, but that's not really "nutrition" per se, is it? Sounds like it's about half of my recommended daily allowance of Vitamin Booze.

There's definitely a touch of mellow tequila flavor, and then a good bit of sweet and a good bit of lime. The colder it is, the better it tastes. Quite refreshing.

$10.99 for four cans at our Joe's. Looks like these are done for the season. I'd look for them again late spring or early summer 2024. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolatey Coated Peanut Butter Crispy Rice Bites

Miraculously, these are still available at Trader Joe's. I mean, they have all the earmarks of one of those "here today, gone tomorrow" tricks that TJ's likes to pull: social media blows up with people freaking out about the product—and most people love it and some people hate it and the people that love it are addicted and can't get enough and then a week or two after it first appeared, it vanishes and Trader Joe's employees explain that it was "seasonal" or they had "a problem with their supplier" or it had rocks in it or glass in it or bugs in it or frogs in it or it was supposed to be vegan but they found out there was once a piece of cheese in the same room where it was processed. Really, I think it just makes the Trader Joe's executives feel powerful to give people something they love only to take it away from them. It's very mean-spirited.

But not this time. At least not yet. I mean, I can't get on board with the folks who think these are the greatest snack sensation since the original Rice Krispies Treats, but neither can I fathom what the people who say these are gross could possibly be thinking. These are standard, basic desserty snacks or snacky desserts, depending on how you look at them, and they're very much worthy of a purchase for most folks that enjoy peanut butter and chocolate.

The main criticism I'll throw out there is about the texture. They're too hard. Too dense. It's like a million degrees here right now and these things should be softer, especially in the heat. Also, maybe they're too small. Each bite is...well, it's too big to be a single bite and it's too small to be a satisfying stand-alone snack.

I'm not sure why these need to be individually wrapped. I would think they'd have been fine all in one big plastic bag. I guess the ones at the bottom would get even harder by the time you'd consume them.

I like the flavor. There's a bit more peanut butter taste than chocolate, and some people complained that there's not enough chocolate, but I do generally lean in the direction of peanut butter flavor when we're talking classic Reese's style pb&c food items.

Sonia liked them even more than I did. $3.99 for 10 individually-wrapped "bites." I'll go with three and a half stars on this one. The beautiful wifey will throw out four full stars for Trader Joe's Chocolatey Coated Peanut Butter Crispy Rice Bites.

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Someone mentioned these are similar to the peanut butter crispy bites sold at Casey's gas stations. I didn't even know Casey's had anything like that, so we tried them after trying TJ's since there's one right down the street. The verdict: Casey's are softer and a little tastier. They'd get at least a full star more than Trader Joe's offering. Casey's are made fresh every day, so I guess they have an unfair advantage.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Elderberry + Pomegranate Apple Cider Vinegar Beverage

A few thoughts about my expectations in regards to Trader Joe's Elderberry + Pomegranate Sparkling Apple Cider Vinegar Beverage: We've seen surprisingly tolerable apple cider vinegar beverages on this blog in the past, and we've seen plenty of pomegranate stuff we liked from Trader Joe's. So this beverage just has to be kinda decent, right?

Enter: the elderberry. I've never had an elderberry to the best of my knowledge. I really don't even know anything about elderberries, other than that line from Monty Python: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

That's not very promising if simply smelling of elderberries is a French insult. If they smell that bad, they can't taste very good. I mean, I wouldn't want to smell of elderberries...so maybe I should avoid this beverage altogether, no?

Shoot, I'll be brave. I'll just wait for a day when I'm not going into public—which, to be honest, is most days for me—and I'll bite the bullet and smell of elderberries if I must. I'll share with Sonia and we can smell of elderberries together.

First impressions? Wow, I was expecting it to pour a mostly-clear, slightly lavender type color, but it pours dark purple—almost like a shade you'd associate with blackberry or raspberry juice.

It doesn't mask the intense sourness of the ACV quite as well as lemon and ginger did. There's something decidedly berry-esque and also something vaguely pomegranate-y. It wants to be sweet, but the berry flavor can't overpower that mouth-puckering vinegar taste.

ACV still has a lot of health benefits, so I can't completely snub this product even though I think it tastes a little weird. It's still way more palatable than straight Bragg's or whatever.

I'm actually shocked at how much Sonia likes this product. She says it's her favorite ACV drink from Trader Joe's or anywhere else. I expected her to like it more than I did, but I wasn't expecting her to love it as much as she does.

$1.99 for the can. I'll stick to ginger lemon if I have to have ACV. Might try strawberry next. Three out of five stars from me. The beautiful wifey gives Trader Joe's Elderberry + Pomegranate Sparkling Apple Cider Vinegar Beverage four and a half stars out of five.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crab Paws

It's time for another pet treat video review. Alfred and Sadie would love it if you hit the like button on the video, and they'd be super appreciative if you subscribed to our YouTube channel if you haven't already.

Thanks for watching!

 

Three and a half paw prints a piece from Alfred and Sadie for Trader Joe's Crab Paws.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Squiggly Noodles

It's funny how many Americans don't think of noodles as top-shelf, sought-after dinner fare. I know my personal bias thinks of cheap Maruchan or Top Ramen from the good old college days. They were in the ballpark of 20¢ a pack back then, and most of us that ate them did so out of necessity rather than choice. But considering the cost, the noodles weren't terrible, and the powder packets not only turned a cup of water into a savory flavored broth, but they delivered nearly a whole day's worth of sodium, too. I still eat that stuff from time to time, but as far as noodles go, it's what most of us are familiar with, and sadly, it's the bottom of the barrel.

Asian cultures on the other hand, hold noodle dishes in high esteem. Japan's ramen scene, in particular, is fascinating to Sonia and me. If you don't know what we're talking about, check out The Ramen Girl for your next romantic movie night. We've been to a couple decent ramen restaurants, too, here in the states, which Sonia is a huge fan of.

These noodles are Trader Joe's take on Momofuku and are indeed squiggly, soft, and slightly chewy. I found the texture more palatable when cooked for just a bit longer than the four minutes mentioned in the heating instructions. They contain a significant amount of sodium, as well, boasting 920 mg per serving, probably mostly from the sesame and soy sauce packet.

The sauce is just barely enough to thinly coat the noodles in each pack. When munching on the noodles alone, we both wanted a lot more of the sesame and soy sauce combo. It's pretty much just salty like soy sauce with a faint whisper of sweet from the sesame. If you were going to prepare a big fancy dish with veggies and meat along with these noodles, the sauce could easily be substituted with something else or forgotten about entirely. But as a stand-alone dish, the noodles are fairly dependent upon the sauce for flavor.

As a base for a larger, more elaborate meal, we both think these would be great. As a snack in and of themselves, these packs aren't exactly stellar. The noodles are high-quality enough, but nobody wants to eat plain noodles, and the sauce just doesn't do enough by itself. There's not even a broth for these noodles to bathe in.

$4.99 for four packs of squiggly noodles. We probably wouldn't buy these again unless we had a very specific recipe we were going to follow. As stated above, I'm sure these would make an excellent base for a big Asian meal, but we tend to score things on what they are and not what they could potentially be. Three out of five stars from me. Three and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Squiggly Noodles.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Trio of Soft Licorice Twists

Sonia and I got to talking about licorice the other day. It's odd that seemingly everybody in our parents' generation was somehow into black licorice—like it reminded them of their childhood or something. I'm not a huge fan of black licorice, but I'll nibble on it once in a while. I'll save the licorice flavored jelly beans for last, but I'll eventually eat them. The beautiful wifey, on the other hand, HATES black licorice.

We're both cool with fruit flavored licorice, though. In my teens in Pennsylvania, I'd go through a pack of strawberry Twizzlers during the course of a two hour movie at the theater—generally only if they were sold out of Starburst. As a youthful California girl, Sonia would occasionally partake of Red Vines.

These aren't the first soft licorice candies we've seen from Trader Joe's over the years. See: Black, Strawberry, and Berry flavors. Here we have raspberry, mango, and green apple for your snacking pleasure. So...how are they?

They feel like typical licorice—firmer than gummy candy, but still soft—less chewy than taffy, but still pliable. These licorice pieces seem oddly thick to me. They're easily two or three times the diameter of a Twizzler but not as long.

Taste-wise, I was hoping they'd be a little bolder. The mango flavor is probably the strongest of the three. I was also hoping the green apple would be a little more tart. Sour apple is always a winning candy flavor in my book.

I almost feel like I can taste the wheat flour and glycerin as much as the fruit flavor. I mean, the flavors are good, they're just not strong enough. Sonia and I both want a sour version of these with sour apple green, sour raspberry purple, and maybe a sour lemon yellow.

As it is, I think we'll throw out three and a half stars a piece for Trader Joe's Trio of Soft Licorice Twists. $2.49 for the 7 serving bag.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Coffee Cake

Truth be told, I'm not a huge fan of coffee. I'll drink it if it's the only caffeination option available, but I'm really more of an energy drink guy. Coffee cake, on the other hand? I like coffee cake quite a bit and resent the fact that it doesn't pair very well with Red Bull.

I've ranted before that I wish I had the innovative vision to invent the world's first energy drink dunkable. But maybe I should be thinking more about energy drink cake..? What would that be like? It wouldn't be very sweet, right?

As I compose this review, Sonia is musing about the fact that this coffee cake is made with sour cream. Maybe energy drink cake would be even heavier on the sour cream and the sweetness of the beverage could offset the sourness? Maybe it would be a little salty, too. I'd call it Wake-Up Bread. Any food scientists out there wanna take up the endeavor with me? We'll split the earnings 50/50 and take the world by storm.

I'm mostly kidding of course. The idea is a bit ridiculous. Most people will want to stick with familiar stuff, not unlike Trader Joe's Cinnamon Coffee Cake. It's pretty standard coffee cake by my estimation. It's a notch above anything you might get out of a vending machine, but it's not the best coffee cake I've ever had, either. It's not even really the best coffee cake we've seen from Trader Joe's. Still, it's cinnamony, sweet, and has a slightly crunchy top and soft bread down below.

Both Sonia and I found our cake a bit dry. Like not dry dry. But not moist either. We did consume the cake before the "best by" date, just in case you're wondering.

The overall flavor here was good, but nothing to write home about. It's possible we just got an off batch or for whatever reason they changed the freshness sticker at our TJ's location. Sonia and I are both thinking three and a half stars a piece for Trader Joe's Cinnamon Coffee Cake. $5.99 for the 8 serving loaf in the baked goods section.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate & Vanilla Bean Swirl Gelato

Three and a half stars from Sonia. Three from me for Trader Joe's Chocolate & Vanilla Bean Swirl Gelato.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Battered Plant-Based Fish Fillets

As a lover of real fish, I'm coming into this one shaking my head, bracing myself for disappointment. A glance at the ingredients reveals this product is jackfruit-based. How can one fruit mimic barbecue pulled pork and fish fillets? It just doesn't seem possible.

There's air fryer heating instructions on the box. We'll go with that one. The air fryer seems to make everything taste better. 10 minutes at 400°F and we're in business.

The smell? Surprisingly, my nose doesn't detect much of anything after heating, in stark contrast to real fish fillets from the air fryer. I guess there's a hint of something akin to hot cooking oil, but that's about it.

Despite my instincts to slather Trader Joe's Plant-Based Fish Fillets with tartar sauce and slap them in between slices of bread and cheese, I think I'll just try them plain first to play it safe. First impressions? Surprisingly edible.

Using a fork to cut the fillets apart, the texture is somewhere between a normal fish fillet and a fried banana. The crispy coating is really nice. It's not very thick, but it does the job. Sonia likes that part the best.

Flavor-wise, they're not fishy at all, and I mean that in a good way. But at the same time, if you had to guess what meat they were trying to imitate, you'd all understand they were going for fish. Sonia said they vaguely reminded her of chicken empanadas. I can see that, too. You can faintly taste the king oyster mushrooms mentioned in the ingredients, and there's a nice savory blend of subtle spices.

I was really worried we had another meatless ground type situation on our hands, but that's not the case here. Not saying there aren't some folks out there who might find this product a little off-putting, but Sonia and I will easily polish off this box.

If you're vegan, gluten-free, or just looking to try something new, these aren't a bad option. $4.99 for three fake fish fillets. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Four stars from me for Trader Joe's Gluten Free Battered Plant-Based Fish Fillets.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Sencha Tea

So I shall start off this post by mentioning that the mug featured in this review was once owned by English model Dolly Martin, wife of Dick Martin, of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In. No lie. My mother-in-law was a long time housekeeper for Dick and Dolly, and Sonia grew up spending many hours in their house. During a move, Dolly asked my MIL if she wanted some random coffee mugs, and among them was this "Be British" mug that Sonia eventually wound up with.

Fun fact: I once attended an Arcade Fire concert wearing a casual suit jacket previously owned by my father-in-law which was also previously owned by Dick Martin.

Also, I neglected to mention Sonia's thoughts on the sencha tea in the video companion to this written review, so I'll elaborate upon the beautiful wifey's sentiments here. She loves pretty much any green tea, and she likes this one because "it's very earthy but not bitter." She often drinks it plain with no sweeteners. Four stars from her.

I guess many versions of sencha are loose leaf and come in a large bag, but Trader Joe's Organic Sencha Tea comes in the form of individually-wrapped tea bags, as do most of Trader Joe's teas, which helps keep each serving fresh and moisture-free.

$2.99 for 20 tea bags. Organic. Kosher. I'm not sure if it's a product of Japan, but there's a picture of Japan on the back of the box. Three stars from me for Trader Joe's Organic Sencha Tea. Is this stuff still available? I couldn't tell you. Sonia hopes so.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Daelmans Caramel Stroopwafels Minis

 

Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers

Crackers are one of those foods that can feel so super fancy and upscale, or they can feel cheap, boring, and sad. Some of the most expensive, high-profile events I've ever been to have featured crackers with toppings as hors d'oeuvres. Likewise, some of the sorriest penny-pinching meals I've ever consumed were crackers topped with peanut butter and jelly, in lieu of real bread.

Granted, the latter event no doubt involved cheap store brand saltines and the former most likely featured something more akin to these multigrain whole wheat and flax seed-laden pita crackers. But my point stands that crackers are indeed ubiquitous and versatile, and in most cases, they largely depend upon some auxiliary flavors and textures to make them stand out as a memorable snack or appetizer.

On their own, Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers aren't bad at all. Texture-wise, they're crispy, crunchy, and rigid, but not too hard. The flavor is wheaty, for sure, but it's immediately apparent that there's much more complexity underneath the basic grainy taste. There are at least six grains present, flax and sunflower seeds, olive oil, molasses, and honey. While the sweeter elements don't really shine through in any meaningful way by themselves, they temper the earthier flavors and make for a highly noshable snack cracker, particularly when paired with a suitable array of toppings.

We tried ours with multiple types of cheese, hummus, bean salad, tuna salad, grape leaves and quinoa, and they worked beautifully in every case. They paired surprisingly well with cream cheese. I even tried adding some fruit spread to the cream cheese and made some surprisingly palatable dessert crackers with these. I just used the term "dessert crackers" twice in one week. I'm weird like that.

$2.99 for the 6 oz box. I'd buy again. The beautiful wifey likes them even more than I do. Three and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia on Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes

To me, the term "rice cake" has always meant a dry, crispy disk of whole grain rice, usually Quaker brand, mostly plain but occasionally dusted with a flavoring of some sort. Growing up with a wheat allergy, rice cakes were a great alternative to wheat-based crackers and even bread. I'd eat mine with peanut butter and jelly or sometimes just plain and I honestly grew to love them. Despite not having a significant wheat allergy any longer, I'll seek out Quaker rice cakes once in a while just for nostalgia's sake or to curb my once-in-a-while craving.

These rice cakes are obviously a little different from those big crunchy pucks I grew up with. Apparently, something similar to Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes is widely available at Asian grocers like H Mart, but this will be the first time either Sonia or I have tried this specific type of mochi-esque side dish.

The little slices of rices are oval-shaped, but otherwise about the size of a quarter. I don't know if you've ever placed a coin on the railroad tracks and let a train run over it or used one of those novelty crank-operated machines that stamps your penny with the logo from some specific attraction, but they're in that ballpark, size and shape-wise.

I followed the instructions to boil them, and they came out quite chewy. They were pillowy and somewhat soft, but honestly, I was hoping for something a little closer to regular rice or pasta in terms of texture. They're surprisingly dense, and I won't say they're leathery per se, but they don't exactly melt in the mouth quite like I was hoping they would.

Still, they're unique and convenient. There's no sauce in the bag, so you can just add them to pretty much any Asian dish. In our case, we had them with leftover sesame chicken, egg rolls, and stir fry topped with sriracha sauce. You can't really see any veggies in the picture we took, but I promise there's some cabbage in that bowl somewhere.

The cakes, not surprisingly, taste like rice, and they add an interesting texture, particularly if you cut them in half for easier chewing before taking a bite. We both like 'em enough. Repeat purchase? Maybe.

$3.29 for the 5 serving bag found in the frozen section. Vegan. Gluten free. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Tea Infused Mints

At last, the long-awaited sequel to our review of Trader Joe's Chai Tea Mints is here! For a recap: the last tea-flavored mint got a thumbs up from Sonia and a thumbs down from Nathan. When we last left our heroes, Nathan was coughing from the chalky aftertaste and Sonia was adding the tiny tin to her purse, promising she'd finish the mints without Nathan's help. The high after-dinner refreshment drama continues today...with Trader Joe's Green Tea Infused Mints!

These are a little better than the chai ones in my humble opinion. I honestly love chai flavored things, and green tea stuff is hit or miss with me, so I'm actually kinda surprised. Chai has an almost desserty vibe to me. It should be sweet and spicy and somewhat indulgent. Those mints weren't.

Green tea, on the other hand, I think of as medicinal. It can be refreshing, which I'd say these mints are. It can be sweet, which these mints are as well. But I don't really think of green tea as a flavor extravaganza, generally. What I guess I'm trying to say is I didn't have my expectations up as high for these green tea mints, and I wasn't nearly as disappointed.

Also I think green tea breath is better than chai breath. I don't think I can justify or back that opinion up with any sound logic or rationale...so we'll just leave it at that. Plus these are less chalky by my estimation. Sonia likes them about the same as the chai ones.

$1.99 at the checkout area. About 54 mints per tin. That's three less than the chai version. I should take them out and count them manually, but...nah. Feel free to count them and comment below if you're feeling ambitious. Four stars from Sonia, three and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Green Tea Infused Mints.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spanish Saffron

What madness is this? A tiny jar of red threads for six bucks nestled among Trader Joe's more conventional spices? Who would pay $5.99 for two and a half tenths of an ounce of anything? Wait. 0.025 oz. That's two and a half hundredths of an ounce! I grew more and more indignant the more I thought about it.

Enraged, I looked for an unsuspecting Trader Joe's employee to focus my wrath upon as once more I thought, "WHO in their right mind would pay SIX BUCKS for a teeny tiny jar of a mysterious spice from Trader Joe's???"

I would. Of course. The answer to the riddle was ME, naturally, that's who. And I composed and calmed myself once more as I added the tiny glass cork-topped bottle to my cart. We're in this for the adventure, no matter the cost.

The interzones told me to only use two or three threads of this Spanish saffron per serving, otherwise it might overpower the dish. Must be some potent stuff here. Let's find out if it's true.

I didn't find the saffron overpowering per se, even when I used well more than three threads with my food. It's definitely honey-esque, but the sweetness is balanced out by a complex blend of earthy undertones. There's something quite floral about the taste and smell, as well. Experts liken the essence of Spanish saffron to grass or hay. While I can see how they draw the comparison, smell-wise, I find the concept of eating grass or hay too unappealing to mention in the same sentence as this expensive, hand-harvested spice.

Sonia disagrees. She finds Trader Joe's Spanish Saffron decidedly hay-ish. She must have been a horse in a past life. I don't even know what hay tastes like.

I also felt my tongue go numb after bites that contained large pieces of the saffron. It was an interesting sensation—not at all unpleasant, but quite unexpected. It's possible I experienced a mild allergy to the spice. Fortunately the reaction stopped on my tongue and didn't affect my throat or respiratory system. I guess I should exercise a bit of caution when consuming unusual plant matter that my body is unfamiliar with.

This will be a fun one to experiment with. I can't see it not working with any rice-based dish. I feel cultured and worldly just having a bit of this in my cupboard. Hopefully we'll get a chance to impress a few guests with it in the near future. Kosher. Product of Spain. Three and a half stars from Sonia. Four stars from yours truly.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage

Not all that long ago, we looked at Trader Joe's Tangerine Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. This here's its counterpart, with ginger and lemon flavor. In that last review, I likened the probiotics within the beverage to microscopic Sea-Monkeys that colonize your intestines, so I'll spare you from an absurd intro to the beverage review this time. We've got that same probiotic action here, same carbonation level, similar attractive packaging, but a different flavor combo. Let's see if this one's as good as the last...

Provided you like ginger and lemon, yes, I think you'll like Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. It's crisp and refreshing. There's a nice balance of pungent ginger and tart lemon. It's not too spicy, not too sour, and just moderately sweet. I have no problem downing a whole can in a single sitting.

I'm just slightly more fond of the tangerine flavor than this one, but I'd happily drink either one on a hot summer day. Sonia likes both flavors as well, but also favors the tangerine version. Once again, we're looking at $1.99 for a 12 ounce can. Not a bad alternative to soda.

Are these discontinued already? Seasonal?

Four stars from me on Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. Three and a half from Sonia.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread

Not sure what made me pick this one up. I guess I was jonesin' for some "maximum cracker satisfaction." At least that's what it says on the label. What did you just call me, Trader Joe?

Anyway, these sound interesting enough. Sunflower, sesame, rye, oats, flax all in one crispy bite can't be bad. I hadn't remembered, but we looked at a gluten free version of these on the blog some time ago.

One thing I hate about crackers is crumbs. We have ants in the house around this time every year and we don't need to give them one more reason to wander into our kitchen. Guess I'll be enjoying these crackers over a bowl.

First thoughts: it's a nice balance of flavors here. The sesame seeds might be a tad overrepresented for my taste, but all in all Trader Joe's Crispbread is earthy, seedy, super crispy, and lightly peppery. I was fine eating the crackers plain. Yes, it's a bit weird, but when I'm stressed, as I have been lately, sometimes all I want is something very stark and basic.

I did try the crackers with plain cream cheese, which was pretty tasty. That's Sonia's favorite way to eat them. They paired quite nicely with peanut butter, too, if you ask me. There are all sorts of elaborate ideas on the interzones about how to serve crispbread involving fruits, eggs, exotic cheeses, hummus, pesto...basically anything you can think of. Alas, we did not get that fancy with the crispbread as of the time of this post's composition.

$2.99 for ten large whole grain crackers. Would buy again. Looks like three and a half stars a piece once again from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread Norwegian Crackers.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.