Trader Joe's Stacked Eggplant Parmesan

If someone asks you if you've tried "Trader Joe's Eggplant Parm," you've got to ask them if they mean this Stacked Eggplant Parmesan or, you know, that other abomination. Because in my opinion, this stuff is in every way superior to that Trader Giotto's eggplant dish that comes in a tray. The nutrition info for both products is comparable, although the serving size for the Stacked is somewhat smaller than the other dish. The only good thing about Trader Giotto's Eggplant Parm is that our review of it sparked a dialogue about this delicious offering. I'm super glad we tried it.

Far from being chewy like the previously-reviewed parm, the stacked variety, if anything, is too supple and soft. I understand some people prefer their eggplant on the crispy side. If you're in that boat, then I guess you might have a legitimate complaint about this particular product. I felt like it flaunted a nice "melt-in-your-mouth" quality, but Sonia thought it fell apart a little too easily. That's not to say she didn't enjoy it. She loved the flavor. And what's not to love? It's a collection of every stereotypical tasty ingredient commonly found in Italian food all mixed in and "stacked" on amazing eggplant. Especially impressive was the ricotta cheese. Tomato, bell pepper, and bread crumbs help round out the taste and texture.

We ate ours with pasta, and it worked really well. I'd be perfectly happy eating this dish all by itself, or you could slap a slab of this in between some quality Italian bread and make a sandwich of sorts. I'm not known for my culinary creativity, but I'm sure some of you guys have come up with some interesting ways to eat this entree. 

Apparently there's a third TJ's brand eggplant parm product that has somehow eluded us up to this point: Trader Giotto's Eggplant Parmesan Towers. Let us know if any of you have tried that one and we'll add it to our shopping list. Sonia and I haven't been on a proper TJ's run in a hot minute—we actually had these stacked eggplant parms a while back—but now we know there's a Pokéstop right next to the local TJ's, we have another good reason to go!

Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mahi Mahi Burgers

Ever see what a mahi mahi looks like? As in the actual fish? I sure as heck hadn't, and since I have a sick sense of humor in which I like to put a face to whatever animal I'm currently eating, I Google image searched one the other night while standing out by my grill and came across this. Um, wow. Like, I'm not sure what I exactly expected a mahi mahi to look like, but it wasn't quite that. Big ol' paint dropcloth looking thing. Um...yumm?

Well, in burger form...absolutely.

There's many fine and wonderful and fancy ways to enjoy a good slab of mahi mahi, but for a quick, easy, and convenient preparation, it may be hard to be beat Trader Joe's Mahi Mahi Burgers. These frozen fish pucks are yet another example what draws me to TJ's seafood products - it's overall fresh and clean vibe. So many other frozen seafood I've had is salty or mushy or overly fishy or just off.

But nope, not here. The fish itself has a very mild, clean flavor, with a couple spices like paprika and rosemary put on for a little character, but there's not much standing in the way of the actual fish flavor. One thing both Sandy and I particularly liked: these actually really hit the "burger button." The texture and mouthfeel approximate that of a regular beef or turkey burger - a little softer, yes, but as close as a fish can get to a burger, these do. We're impressed. And even our kiddos love them - our just-turned-four year old M grins with delight every time we tell her fish burgers our on the menu.

Put anything on these burgers you like - we particularly enjoyed some salsa or slaw or (as pictured) the chile lime powder. It's light, good eating. The box of four runs about $6, which isn't awful for some decent quality fish, and as a pro tip, they even reheat well without stinking up the joint (so says Sandy, I'd be too chicken to try that). Great summer time pick up to toss something a little different on the grill, so we're going with some high marks here. I took awful pics of the nutritional stats so see them here.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mahi Mahi Burgers: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Podcast Episode 27: Mango Mayhem

It’s mango mayhem at Trader Joe’s and in this episode we talk about the glut of TJ’s mango products and share our thoughts about many of them.

Thanks for listening!

SHOW NOTES

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BENSOUND

Trader Joe's Mango & Strawberry Flatbread

Well since Mr. Shelly is retiring from the wonderful world of mango product reviews, I guess it's up to me to keep the mango insanity astir on this blog. And even under threat of home invasion and sedation, that mango cookie butter is MINE! You'll never get within a hundred feet of our house without our Alfred and Sadie-driven home security system barking us awake, Russ. NEVER!

Be that as it may, I'm sure that yet another mango review is not only encouraging Big Joe to make more of these mango products, but it's also annoying the heck out of half of our readers. (Please see survey at the bottom of this review.) But honestly, I think this product is worth a looksee. It's a complicated product, far more sophisticated than most of the mango offerings we've seen this past month or so.

First of all, we have to be familiar with the Law of Balsamic Reduction. It states that "any rectangular flatbread with balsamic drizzle can be reduced into exactly five smaller rectangular flatbreads with sides exactly one fifth the size of the original rectangle, but despite maintaining the same side to side ratio, all toppings, including balsamic reduction drizzle, shall be unevenly distributed across said flatbreads." In layman's terms, this means that once cut into smaller slices, some pieces of flatbread will have tons of toppings and others will have very little—specifically, the end pieces will have an unfavorable bread to topping ratio.

Never has the Law of Balsamic Reduction been more apparent than with this ambitious attempt at a gourmet appetizer. Nevertheless, the center pieces of our flatbread came out quite tasty, in my opinion, flaunting two delicious fruits, wilted arugula, and varying amounts of the aforementioned sweet balsamic reduction drizzle. Sonia thinks the mango and balsamic together resulted in a taste too intense for her tongue. She doesn't think they clashed exactly—she just thinks one or the other would have provided adequate sweetness and that both together was overkill. I'll agree that they were both quite sweet, but they were two very different kinds of sweet, if that makes sense. 

It's definitely a roller coaster ride for the taste buds, but you know, every once in a while, I really like to take my tongue on the big boy rides.

If you're open to a suave kind of sweetness, I recommend this product wholeheartedly. My biggest complaints would be that there weren't nearly enough strawberries and that the toppings were unevenly distributed. The balsamic reduction sauce did come in a separate packet that I put on myself, so I guess if that was unevenly distributed, I only have myself to blame.

I give this product four and a half stars. Sonia will only spring for three.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

survey solution

Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka

Yes, yes...I know. Another mango product review. Believe me, I'm SICK of mango stuff. It's part of the gig - Trader Joe's leads a mango onslaught, it's my job to figure out what's good and worthwhile, and what simply isn't. Way too many products have been middling at best thus far. Seems even the TJ's employees I've talked to, informally, are tired of mango everything.

Well, here's a proclamation: I (Russ), as of the completion of this review, am DONE with any mango-related review from now on until eternity. Pretty much the only exception would be IF (and it's a big part two-part IF) something truly amazeballs would debut, like, say, mango cookie butter, and I drove to South Jersey first, and chloroformed the Rodgers clan to make sure I got to it first. That's...probably not going to happen, Pennsylvania turnpike tolls being what they are.

But I'd be absolutely derelict in my duties if I didn't tell you about Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka. Hands down, it's our absolute favorite TJ mango concoction we've had yet. And this is coming from a very mango-weary man. It's been multiple-purchase worthy, which for a treat and non-staple, is very, very high praise for our establishment.

It must be said this babka is my only frame of reference for babka - I've led a sheltered life. It's a large, weighty pastry loaf which I'd liken most closely to a danish - it's chewy and layered yet kinda flaky. I guess there's a certain denseness to it, but not as much as what I've heard re: the chocolate babka ("condensed brownie" are the words I recall). No, a slice will practically fall apart along the dough spiral lines, with a sweet, sugary, but not overkill mango puree swirled in, with extra mango flavor coming from the faintly orange dough. A little light mango glaze on top adds just that little extra oomph as well.

A little look at the ingredient list offered a surprising insight that might explain this product's overall success: that "mango puree" I mentioned? It's apples, followed by apricots, and then the mango. It's odd, because it is decidedly mangotastic...maybe the apples offer a suitable base, while the apricots seamlessly boost the flavor...I don't know...but it works. No question about it.

A slice of babka with a cup of coffee makes a nice little morning treat, or skip the coffee for some dessert. I've heard there's ways to grill babka slices (which would be awesome here, I think) or get a scoop of vanilla ice cream to go alongside. Lots of good possibilities here. If even half the mango stuff out there, in its own context, tasted as good as this babka does, there's no doubt that the Summer of Mango would have been a blockbuster.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's PB&J Bar

Trader Joe's isn't quite as adventurous with peanut butter and jelly as they are with say, oh I don't know, MANGO perhaps. But they have done some interesting things with the classic sandwich combination in the past, including Greek yogurt and chocolate bars. And quite frankly, this is by far the best PB&J product I've tried from TJ's thus far. Plus, it has the added benefit of being gluten free, by virtue of it being made with oats and oat flour instead of typical wheat flour.

Unlike the previously-mentioned PB&J chocolate bar, which featured raspberry jelly, TJ's went with strawberry jelly in this particular snack. I'm not sure what they have against good ol' grape, but strawberry has always been my second-place choice for pairing with peanut butter, and it totally works here. The bars flaunt a very nice balance of peanut butteriness and fruity jelly sweetness, although I wouldn't say they taste like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches precisely. I think using wheat flour and grape jelly might have helped push them in that direction. As they stand, there's a definite breakfast bar/cereal bar vibe about them—but I, for one, would certainly not hold that against them.

There's plenty of sugar in them, but if you're having them for breakfast like I am, it's easy to justify: you've got all day to burn it off. Plus, there's eight grams of whole grain in each serving and the ingredients look relatively natural and healthy to me, but then again, my English and film degrees didn't require a whole lot of food science courses...so when rambling on about the "healthiness" of various ingredients, I should always put forth the following disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm talking about. 

But my taste buds don't lie, and furthermore, I have a very sensitive system. And I can confidently state that these bars made me feel happy, energized, and properly-nourished. And yes, they're tasty. Not exactly like a PB&J, but certainly PB&J-inspired.

I give these bars four and a half stars. Four from Sonia, who adds that they're not too sweet and not too dry, although she wishes they made a version with almond butter instead of PB.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Kentucky Bourbon BBQ Sauce

Do I even have to say it?

Yes, it's 100% mango-free.

Thank God.

Trader Joe's Kentucky Bourbon BBQ Sauce has a lot of other things in it, though...namely, bourbon, which adds a nice earthy, smokey, maybe even slightly oaky little flavor flair. It's a little more noticeable in this saucy incarnation, then, say, the apple bourbon barbecue sauce. This particular baste-worthy bastion is also noticeably less sweet and more strongly BBQy than its applicious compadre. The ingredients list pineapple (not all that strong) and caramelized onions (oh yeah) as well as the usual spices that make a strong, layered, yet not overly complex sauce that was welcome to the wide spectrum of flavor palettes around our usual dinner table. Not too spicy, not too sweet, not too anything one way or another...instead it straddled the line just right for all.

Although we've only made pulled pork with it, I'm under the strong impression that this is a versatile enough sauce for a variety of needs. Burgers, ribs, chicken, fries...I just got a craving to start dunking a bunch of onion rings in here. We may have our summer sauce of choice right here. For $2.99 for a large bottle, it's an absolute must try.

You can check out the nutritional stats here.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Kentucky Bourbon BBQ Sauce: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Mango Joe-Joe's

Ever since Sonia brought back her first mango everything TJ's run a few weeks ago, we've had a box of Mango Joe-Joe's sitting on our counter. I'm not sure why, but neither of us even tried them until yesterday. Maybe it's because we're a little mango'ed-out. Maybe it's because we have willpower. Well, we know that's not true in my case...Sonia's case, possibly. But for whatever reason, I've had this inexplicable, temporary aversion to sandwich cookies. And despite hearing plenty of positive things about them on the interwebs and from readers, these Mango Joe-Joe's haven't even tempted me. Not the least little bit.

And now, after trying them, they still aren't calling my name like I thought they might. They're certainly not terrible. I guess fruit-flavored sandwich cookies just aren't my thing in the end.

Like any other package of Joe-Joe's, there are two rows of cookies resting in a plastic carton inside the box. Upon opening the cellophane wrapper, there's a distinct fruity smell, although I wouldn't have known it was mango if it hadn't so boldly told me so on the box. There are no fewer than three separate mango ingredients in these cookies, yet I still wouldn't say they taste distinctly like mango. In fact, of all the mango products I've shoveled down my gullet this month, I'd say these taste the least like mango. If I had been blindfolded, you could have told me these cookies were peach or passionfruit flavor and I would have believed you.

But that's not a terrible thing. It's a light, tropical, fruity vibe that's not unpleasant—and there's still a significant bready, sugary, sandwich cookie flavor to these snacks. Neither drowns the other out.

The box suggests five different methods of consuming the cookies, and I've tried three of them so far. In addition to just eating the cookies like a normal person, I also twisted the cookies apart, licked the creme center and then ate each side individually. I tried nibbling them around the edges until the whole thing was devoured (although I did not squawk loudly when finished, as is officially recommended by Joe-Joe the Toucan).

And then I tried them with milk. That was a fascinating experience. I was actually more impressed with the unique taste of the milk after having Mango Joe-Joe's dunked in it than the cookies themselves. Again, the cookies weren't bad. They were just milky, fruity sandwich cookies. But the milk became like some delicious tropical melted milkshake from the gods—not unlike the milk at the end of a bowl of Fruity Pebbles or Froot Loops. I've always loved fruit-flavored milk like strawberry milk and banana milk. Now I can add mango milk to that list, too.

Please feel free to disagree in the comments below, but I think I'm only going to be giving this product three stars—a respectable score, but not stellar, either. Sonia thinks they taste enough like mango. She's just not sure they're worth all the fat. She'll give them three and a half.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding with Cultured Coconut Cream

Let's see...be positive. Focus on the good stuff. Look on the bright side of life. There's good in almost everything with a little perspective. That's the proper way to look at life, right? Right?

So, as a proper challenge to that, may I present Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding with Cultured Coconut Cream?

Glass-half-full side first: The pudding sounds good. C'mon, admit it, it does. Even with some mango fatigue setting in, this kinda sticks out if you happened to glance upon it on the refrigerated shelf. Even without the lid's suggestion, as a small breakfast time treat, or a little snacky or dessert, it certainly sounds like an indulgence on the probably healthyish side. And hey, dairy-free for those who that's a concern for.

Then, there's everything else.

It's debatable between the wife and I about what's precisely wrong with the puddin'. My stance: it's the texture. It's kinda stiff and chunky and feels kinda slimy. There's some coconut strips in there that add an odd little fibrous bite that seems a little out of place. And then there's all the chia seeds...the cup's full of them. Top to bottom. That's just too many. Also, I'm not entirely sure if it would have been better if the seeds were, actually, you know, seed-like with a little crunch or something to them - because instead they just seem wet and bloated and soggy with scarecely any difference between them and the rest of the pudding.

That's what bugs me. What bothers Sandy: the taste. Admittedly, it doesn't taste like much at all. Mangos are naturally full of sugar, so it ought to taste sweet, right? You'd think...but maybe somehow the coconut dulls it all out, because there's next to nothing going on here. I mean, kinda look at it - it looks like it tastes. Gray. Lifeless. Just kinda there and not much else. Okay, there is a little something to it...but nothing all that much. I'm usually not a guy in favor of things like added sugar, but this could really use something to liven up the flavor a bit.

This kinda glop is usually right up Sandy's alley. She took two small tastes and made a huge "Bleccccch" face before handing over to me. I tried, and what promptly followed were two in-depth conversations: 1) Should we return it? We decided not to, because TJ's is 20 minutes away and not on our usual daily commute currently with M's preschool out. and 2) Is it okay to use the words "mango boogers" in my review? I mean, that's what first came to mind...I win, this is my review!

I've yet to hear anything positive about this mango pudding, so maybe, as our brightside takeaway, we can all be united on how not good it is. Sandy gave it a 0, I'm not much higher.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding with Cultured Coconut Cream: 1 out of 10 Golden Spoons