Trader Joe's Harvest Chili

This past week, our household has been chaotic to say the least. We generally like to share a bit of our lives with you here on this blog—to mix a personal story or two in with our thoughts about whatever Trader Joe's foods we're eating. At this juncture, we're just not ready to get into specifics, but I will mention that there have been some truly wonderful, life-altering changes with us recently, as well as some terrible tragedies. They've affected our whole family, but none more than my dear wife. It's remarkable how when the tides of change are churning and this crazy world's got you on your knees, a simple song or film or photograph can generate a transcendent moment. Food can do that sometimes, too.

I'll just put it this way: Sonia is madly in love with this product. This is one of her favorite fall foods ever, which puts it high in the running for her favorite thing ever. She gobbled up her share of the soup swiftly, remarking "wonderful," "fabulous," and "amazing" as she ate. Haven't seen her this enthralled with a product in a very, very long time. She had been understandably surly and sullen just moments before, but this chili got her right real quick. She even closed her eyes, smiled, and hugged herself as if in some euphoric dreamland, punch-drunk on squash, pumpkin, and black beans, much like the dude who put the label on our tub apparently was at the moment of application. She even liked this stuff cold.

Me? I see where the wifey is coming from, and I like it, but I'm not quite as enthralled. This might be the least chili-ish chili I've ever had. It's more of a "chunky harvest squash soup" if you ask me. Chili spices? Yeah, I guess they're in there, but they're not very dominant—I wouldn't have minded a significant boost in the heat department. Also, there's not enough beans to be chili, if you ask me. I wish there were some traditional kidney beans in there. On the plus side, there isn't a whole lot of tomato flavor. There are diced tomatoes, but most of their essence gets lost in the mix. Never been big into the taste of actual tomatoes. The dominant tastes and textures here are those of squash, cauliflower, and quinoa—and a nice peppery, garlicky broth. It's certainly unique—not particularly chili-esque, but thick and tasty nonetheless.

$4.49 for a decent size tub. Plenty for both of us, either as a side dish or the main course. Five stars and several emotional tears from Sonia. Three and a half stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tortilla Chips Seasoned with Brussels Sprouts, Garlic, Onion & Parsley

Well, this seems a sneaky trick.

I love what's going on in the flavored chip world right now. We're no longer stuck in the days of only having plain, barbeque, sour cream and onion, or salt and vinegar to choose from. Just last week, while hungrily stalking the aisles at Target, I spotted some Lay's bacon wrapped jalapeno popper chips - heck yeah. I'm pretty sure I ate half the bag standing in the parking lot.

All sorts of other flavors out there, and hopefully coming up on pone of my seasonal favorites from TJ's pretty soon...but the heck is this???

Chips...flavored with...(gulp)...brussels sprouts?

Stop trying to sneak salad into my snacks!

But such it is with Trader Joe's Tortilla Chips Seasoned with Brussels Sprouts, Garlic, Onion & Parsely. Jeez, they may as well as call them "garden variety" chips or something of the sort. The name's too long, make it snappier.

Fortunately, these are pretty snackaholic-worthy crispers that, in the right mood, can go for total inhalation. It's the texture, for me. Instead of just regular corn chips, these TJ's chippies are made from a blend of corn, rice and potato, making a lighter, crispier, airier delight. If you're familiar with TJ's sweet potato tortilla chips, these seem to have a similiar feel, which I love. Much better than regular corn tortilla chips or Tostitos in my opinion.

And the thing is, you can barely taste the brussels sprouts. They're more visible as tiny green specks than tastable, I think. If I close my eyes and try hard, a little sprouty sense begins leaking through, but not much. It seems to be more power of suggestion aided by a little salt and accompanying flavors, none of them terribly obtrusive. A little garlic here, a little onion there, a wee bit salty lime over there.

These vegetable cornucopia chips taste great plain, as my whole family enjoyed while walking around on a day out this past weekend. But anythign else you could possibly use a tortilla chip in or with would almost certainly work. I can't imagine them not being a good choice, even if brussels sprouts aren't really your thing. It's a worthy buy at $2.99, so let the chips fall as they may.

Bottom line:  Trader Joe's Tortilla Chips Seasoned with Brussels Sprouts, Garlic, Onion & Parsley: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Birthday Cake Popcorn

We were slightly less impressed with this product than we might have been since its advent comes so closely on the heels of another festive confectionalized corn concoction: last month's Candy Corn Popcorn. If your birthday happens to be in October, then this product is arguably seasonally-appropriate, but for the other eleven twelfths of us, the candy corn variety is a little more Halloweenish and, therefore, Octoberish.

Taste and texture-wise, this candied popcorn is remarkably similar to the candy corn version. It's still a high-quality popcorn coated in a slightly waxy, sugary glaze—sweet and a little salty, addictive, and hard to put down. It also begs comparison to Trader Joe's Birthday Cake Bar by virtue of its nearly identical packaging and presentation. Like the bar, this product boasts colorful little sprinkles. There's approximately one sprinkle per corn kernel, on average. Oddly enough, though, I felt as though I could taste them, but it could be just the power of suggestion. I know for sure I could feel them—firm, round little funfetti do-dads in nearly every bite.

As far as the coating is concerned, it's not really white chocolate like I was hoping for. 

The Birthday Cake Bar was most definitely made of delicious white chocolate, so I reasoned that TJ's would glaze this popcorn with the same. It's really just sugar, tapioca nonsense, and...well, you can read the ingredients list as well as I can. No mention of cocoa butter or anything milk-related, so...not white chocolate in my book.

And yet, it's got a similar vanilla-esque essence. It tastes very faintly of actual birthday cake somehow. In a blind taste test, I could most definitely differentiate this product from the candy corn popcorn, but the sprinkles/jimmies are the most obvious difference.

It's not a bad snack by any means. It would be perfect for parties—birthday or otherwise—although the bag would be gone in a matter of minutes. Again, Trader Joe's tells us there are five servings in the bag, but most people are gonna go with two or less. I'm a little sad there's no white chocolate, but I can't complain much other than that. Three and a half stars from me. Sonia enjoyed this just about exactly as much as she enjoyed the candy corn popcorn, so four again from her.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Harvest Spaghetti Squash Spirals

Hey you! Like squash?

How about squash with squash?

How about squash with squash in a squashy sauce?

How about squash with squash in a squashy sauce...with a side of squash?

That's what my family more or less ended up with for dinner the other night, due to my brilliant planning. But I'll limit my guiltiness to only the last part of "a side of squash." Hey, without thinking too hard, some zucchini sounded like a great idea to go with our Trader Joe's Harvest Spaghetti Squash Spirals. Probably shoulda gone for some leaft greens or something instead. Oh well.

Everything else though? That's all Trader Joe's Harvest Spaghetti Squash Spirals. Sorry for the cruddy pic, I just got a new better camera but still figuring out how to take pics of shiny packages. So in case the description on the front is unclear, it says spaghetti squash spirals and chunks of butternut squash in a seasonal tomato sauce. "Seasonal tomato sauce" paired anywhere close to "harvest" with a TJ's item is a code for pumpkin puree being involved, as is the case here...pumpkin is like an honorary squash, right? So it's squash with squash in a squashy sauce. Period. At least there's none of those purported "spices" really bandying about in here.

Wish I could say I liked it more. It's not an awful product, and I kinda like the presentation. Our particular frozen package contained four small squash tumbleweed/bird nest type deals which heated quickly on our stove top, and combined well with the sauce and butternut squash chunks when added. All the squash was on, or on enough for a frozen product - the spaghetti was mild and firm, and appropriately noodley,  while the butternut was soft and sweet with a good touch of earthy. The sauce was a little sparing, as I would have liked more, as I feel it didn't offer much one way or another. Although pictured on the package as small shreds, the cheese on top came out as large flakes, and was a highlight. We love our Parmesan-esque cheeses here.

Still, there was something that felt lacking or at least not compelling. The spirals were small enough to leave us wanting more, so maybe that's part of it. Or maybe it just wasn't our favorite presentation...we're admittedly more of a roasted veggie kinda fam. Still, for relative ease and convenience, with an acceptable price tag of $2.99, the squashy spirals are a decent enough product. Just don't expect to be wowed.

Double threes.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Harvest Spaghetti Squash Spirals: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Caramel Apple Flavored Granola

Rise and shine, autumn aficionados! We're looking at another applicious treat this fine morning—another mashup of two great foods. Every one of our last five posts or so have been mind-blowing mergers of two or more fascinating foods and/or beverages. Today: what happens when a caramel apple explodes into a bag of ordinary granola?

It gets...way less boring!

Not that I have a problem with plain old granola. It's a classic. Always will be. But if you're looking for something with a little more flavor and excitement, look no further.

Large slices of dried apple grace the sides of the massive hunks of granola here. Those big "rocks" of cereal do break apart fairly easily with a spoon, particularly after soaking in milk for a minute or two. Some of the heftier chunks are way too sizable for being shoveled directly into the mouth—even if you have a particularly big mouth like me.

There's an immediately detectable apple presence in most bites. It's sweet and tart, but it tastes much more like dried apple than an actual caramel apple. No biggie. There's still a caramel-esque sweetness, though, too, even in bites with little or no apple. They must have used caramel to fuse all the granola bits together. Actually, now that I've checked, I don't really see "caramel" on the ingredients list, but maybe it's, like, the combo of brown rice syrup, cane sugar, and vanilla extract...?

Guess what else I see in those ingredients? "Pumpkin spiced pumpkin seeds!" I guess Russ is right. I just can't escape being a basic white boy...even when I'm trying to strategically balance pumpkin spice with the other flavors of fall. Oh well. You can't really taste it here. At least I can't.

Also, both Sonia and I were surprised to see "peanuts" in the ingredients. We didn't taste them or see them much at all. I mean, it's quite possible that they've fallen to the bottom of the bag. We haven't finished the whole thing yet. 

As a side note, our resealable bag wasn't resealable. It had those two ziplock-like tracks, but when pinched together, they failed to mate like they're supposed to. Again, no biggie. We just used a chip clip dealie. Problem solved. Don't think the bag will be around long enough to get super stale anyway.

Double fours.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts

Nope, still not going there. Nathan caved first...I'm holding strong with my "alternative tastes of fall" binge for as long as possible!

If you ever find yourself driving along Rt 100 in Waterbury, VT, chances are you'll stop for ice cream and maybe the tour at the Ben & Jerry's Factory. Been there probably 100 times on vacation, as my family vacationed in Vermont almost every summer for years. We still occasionally do. And dang it, we love ice cream. But there's much more to be had on that stretch of road. There's a Cabot cheese outlet annex store (oodles of free samples) and also Cold Hollow Cider Mill...with more free samples...and freshly made cider donuts to die for.

No, Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts don't hold up against Cold Hollow's, or probably any local apple orchard that makes their own cider donuts. There's just too much to be said for freshmade from a local source that make cider donuts an undeniable treat.

But if you're not anywhere close to anywhere that makes cider donuts and these TJ's ones are available, it's a more than adequate consolation prize.

These cider donuts from TJ's are thick and dense and cakey. There's nothing light and airy about them at all. The distinct lack of overall greasiness to me that suggests perhaps they're baked and not fried.

Biting into the dough past the cinnamon and sugar sprinkled outside, there's subtle appley sweetness with a little twinge of typical cider spices like nutmeg and clove. Admittedly, tthese particular cider donuts, as with most, aren't an overwhelming flavor experience, but go more for a comfort vibe. Eating one of these is good enough to hold me over for several hours, which is no easy task, and certainly not something an average donut could do.

Still, having had truly exceptional cider donuts both on vacation in VT and closer to home from our local orchard, I can say these TJ's ones just lack a little something. I can't think of it being anything other than freshness and local taste. I'm not calling them stale tasting, by any means, because they're not, but a donut made moments before consumption tastes much different than one that's been in a box for at least a day or two.

If you have no other options, go get 'em, you won't regret 'em. At $3.99 for the six pack, it's a good deal. I was happy enough to eat them alongside some coffee for breakfast the other morning, as well as enjoy part of one for a late night snack with a little bourbon. Our kids liked them but weren't wowed....just wait til I take them on vacation and stuff them full of free samples, donuts and ice cream right before they pass out for the long drive back home from Vermont, just like my dad used to do. Then they'll love cider donuts for sure.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Spiced Pumpkin Madeleine Cookies

Rejoice. It's that very special time again. It's that time of the year when it rains pumpkin spice products all across the western world. There'll be lattes for Suzy, and Kringles for Johnny, and muffins for Dick and for Jane. 

It's time to get basic—or, perhaps, basically awesome—depending upon your perspective. At any rate, let's get down to basics and talk about this: the first pumpkin spice product of 2018 here on our illustrious blog.

As noted previously, the first Trader Joe's pumpkin or pumpkin spice product of the season tends to have a distinct advantage over later offerings. It's a combination of pumpkin overload, heightened expectations, and social media steering us to the best products first and the "meh" products last. This year, it's no different.

Not that we heard a huge buzz about these on the interwebs prior to picking them up, but Sonia had definitely spotted them on Instamagram a couple times. "Instamagram." That's not an error. That's how I say it. Like when I say my home state, I call it "Pennsylmavania." It's funny. Homer Simpson-inspired. I add an extra syllable in the middle of words to amuse myself and, occasionally, others, because I'm basic like that. It just seems to work particularly well with Instamagram.

Sonia's a huge fan of it when I add my extra "ma" syllable to things. Know what else she's a huge fan of? Pumpkin stuff. Know what else? Madeleines—ahem, mademaleines. So these are like a dream come true for her. In fact, she actually said, "This is a dream come true for me" when she bit into her first cookie. She really, really enjoys these.

I like them too. They're sweet and punkinny. I think the pumpkin spice element is juuust a little too heavy-handed. I enjoy pumpkin spice to a degree, but I feel like it overshadows the natural butteriness of the madeleines slightly. Sonia thinks the balance is nearly perfect.

The texture of the cookies is very madeleine-esque—moist, soft, and spongy. We're both fans.

We both think $2.99 is a tad steep for six small cookies, but Sonia will quickly point out that madeleines tend to be on the pricier end of the cookie cost spectrum.

Sonia will kick off this pumpkin season with a four and a half star score and a big thumbs up. I'm on board for four stars and another vote for "yea" on these mademaleines.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Hot Cocoa Toaster Pastries

Listen, we all know it's coming. Heck, it's practically here. Some (many?) of you are probably wondering why we haven't jumped on that bandwagon quite yet.

Not me, though. I can wait. Long time readers probably know that already. Nathan's the one who's basically awesome, not me. And if you still don't know what I'm talking about, heck, I'm not even ready to write the actual words. But you know them, they're everywhere this time of year. They rhyme with "sumpthin' nice."

But nah. I'm sticking with what I'll call "alternative seasonal tastes" as long as I can. It's a long fall ahead...heck, it hasn't even technically started yet. But colder weather is on the horizon, and with that comes great classic tastes like a good cup of hot chocolate.

Or, more to the point of this review, Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Hot Cocoa Toaster Pastries.

Sheepishly, it was while searching for another seasonally appropriate PopTart compadre that I first spotted these particular TJ's breakfast/snacky pastries. Those other ones were for my beautiful bride, but these? For me. All mine. Gimme all dat cocoa....now!

For me, this is the rare toaster tart that actually tastes better toasted than "raw." The key is the filling. At room temp, it's kinda a basic choco-fill, nothing too special. but when toasted, it gets this warm, gooey, fudgy feel that's quite evocative of the dregs at the bottom of a cup of hot cocoa. Except, well, better.   It's good filling for sure, and the surrounding dough pouch is appropriately soft and crumbly with just the right feel, whether toasted or not.

But there's a small disappointment here. Look at the top. Where's all the frosting? Every pastry we got in our box had this same male balding pattern thing going on. And what's on there isn't quite enough to really taste if it's supposed to be more like some wispy froth type deal, or more of a marshmallow essence. I know this sounds like I'm complaining that there's not enough sugar on my sugar, because I am, but when you're getting a toaster pastry out to mash on down, you know what you're going for, organic or not. If I wanted healthy and good for me I'd make a kale smoothie.

It's been a long time since I've actually consumed a name brand Pop Tart so direct comparisons are going to fall flat, but I'd rate the TJ's toasty tarts as at least equal to if not better than their more famous counterparts. Maybe it's the word "organic" playing mind tricks. You never know...but I know you can find these now at TJ's for $1.99 for a box of 3 dual foilpacks (6 tarts total) which strikes me as a good deal. Need more frosting, though. But for a first taste of things to come, not bad, not bad at all.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Hot Cocoa Toaster Pastries: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons