Trader Joe's Stollen Crisps

Since I haven't spotted any other beloved German holiday treats such as Lebkuchen or Pfeffernüsse at my local Trader Joe's lately, today we're looking at the Stollen Crisps, which were available last year but eluded our sights in terms of a review.

Always busy this time of year trying to get around to all the seasonal products TJ's has to offer and we never manage to cover everything. But isn't that how life in general goes around the holidays? So much to do and a few things inevitably slip through the cracks. I don't know how you folks with big families do it. Anyhoo, let's get started with the review before we're staring down the barrel of 500 words for a simple looksee at what is essentially a box of fancy crackers.

My biggest problem with this line of "crisps" from TJ's is never the taste.

See: Trader Joe's Strawberry Jalapeño Crisps

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps

and Trader Joe's Fig & Olive Crisps.

They've always been unique and interesting flavors. My problem is the texture—they tend to be overly hard, to the point that they hurt my teeth after just a few bites. This problem can be mitigated by soft spreads, cheeses, and/or dips. Let's see if the stollen are any different.

Honestly, this product seems slightly less rigid than the previous selections mentioned above. Is it just my imagination? Have my teeth been strengthened by that enamel repair toothpaste I've been using? Your guess is as good as mine. They're still crunchy and crispy to a fault, but not quite as extreme by my reckoning.

There's a lovely grape and citrus smell that wafts from the bag after opening. They taste like fruitcake dusted with powdered sugar—like orange and lemon zest underneath raisins and sweet buttermilk bread. It's a very nice flavor indeed. There's a surprising amount of fruit in the crackers. Each piece contains at least four or five cross sections of raisin. That might be one of the reasons this offering seems a tad softer than its predecessors.

They recommend eating these with Brie or Gouda but I'm not really a highbrow cheese guy. If we had some kind of chevre on hand, I'd grab that, but unfortunately it's going to be Philadelphia to the rescue once again. But hey, it works. It's a delicious combination in my humble opinion.

The citrus element really makes this product memorable. Some might say it's too sweet with visible amounts of sugar on the crisps, but hey, it's the holiday season and it's time to celebrate.

$4.29 for the box. Product of Canada. There's something delightfully festive and Christmassy about this item, and I'd definitely buy it again. Sonia and I will go with 8 out of 10 stars for Trader Joe's Stollen Crisps.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Almond Protein Smoothie

Just a quickie for today. Sonia drank most of this beverage. I just tasted it and noped out pretty quickly.

It's chalky as I suspected it would be. I can also taste the pea protein underneath the chocolate and almond flavors. There's really not a ton of chocolate flavor, to be honest.

It was $3.49 for the 16 oz bottle. Sonia liked that it was filling and full of protein. She'd buy again in a pinch but wouldn't necessarily seek it out. I wouldn't drink it again.

Sonia's score: 6.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crunchy Pops

Today, I'm gonna check out Trader Joe's Crunchy Pops. I really like snacks made with alternative grains and flours and ingredients. The only thing that makes me a little nervous is "pea." Yeah. I like peas okay but not necessarily in my crunchy snacks. I'm a little leery of pea protein in anything, be it any kind of smoothie or shake or protein bar so I'm not sure how it's going to work out here. I think the potato and corn will hopefully offset any weird pea flavor that I might not like.

Upon opening the bag, it smells faintly of peas and corn. They're bigger than I thought they'd be. They're very salty. Very crunchy. Hollow. 

They're like Chex but bigger and more rigid, more robust. You can taste the grainy flavors of potato, peas, and corn. The pea flavor doesn't turn me off at all. It's a pleasant flavor but I don't know if it would be the number one thing I'd reach for over potato chips or tortilla chips.

I wish they were dusted with some kind of flavor like barbecue sauce or something spicy. Even a cheddar cheese flavor would be interesting. A viewer on YouTube suggested sour cream and onion would work, and I totally agree.

$2.49 for the bag. Kosher. I don't know why they wouldn't be gluten free, but they're not listed as such. Maybe they were processed on the same equipment as wheat products or something like that. 

Would I buy them again? I don't think I would in this current format. If you like the taste of potatoes, corn, and peas and don't mind very salty snacks, you'd probably like these. The texture is excellent if you like firm, crunchy, crispy snacks. I like salty snacks a lot, but I feel like the saltiness overshadows everything else in this case.

I give Trader Joe's Crunchy Pops 7 out of 10 stars. Sonia will go with 7.5 out of 10.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.