Trader Joe's Protein Muffins

Mornings can be tough, especially these past few months. Wake up after another hot summer night to a hot summer day, doing the same thing all over again because what else can you do? There's no end in sight to it either, like it's some sort of strange bizarro Groundhog Day realm we're stuck in.

It doesn't help that both Sandy and I are dabbling with intermittent fasting, as it seems the trendy thing to do these days, although with somewhat mixed results. And our kids have taken on the habit of not eating all that much dinner most nights, so needless to say, when it's time for my lovely bride and I to start eating for the day around 10:30am, we're hungry, and the kids are clamoring for an early elevensies after second breakfast wore off, and sometimes a little mix up is nice. You know, to keep it lively....or something.

I guess that's why we've been giving Trader Joe's Protein Muffins the ol' college try. As you can see, at present there are two varieties, Dark Chocolate and Maple. They're both similar in concept and ingredients - cassava and almond flour base, some coconut flour tossed in, milk protein isolate (as appetizing as that sounds), egg powder (very appetizing) and a few more things to round it all out. It's a powder in the cup, add a little water, stir like mad, nuke for a minute, and voila! It's a warm spongy muffinesque thing in a cup ! Now that sounds most appetizing of all!

Truth be told, I'm surprised by how decent both varieties are. There's nothing too "weird" about either one, and neither put off overwhelmingly healthy vibes. I can tell this is true by how my kids were fighting over the last couple teeny bites - if there was anything "off" about them in the slightest, they'd detect it.

The dark chocolate, also surprisingly, was the winner in our house, for kids and grownups. The chocolate isn't that  dark, but offers a respectable richness without being overly sweet. The real winning bit is there's a small handful of chocolate chips sprinkles in that got a little melty but still have some bite - you get one of those, you've won! It's really, and again pretty surprisingly, good. i'd eat 'em again for sure.

As for the maple, think of a pancake that absorbed a bunch of maple syrup. That's how this muffins feels and tastes. Good? Absolutely! But for a muffin, it's missing something, like it needs one more ingredient. Personally I'd love a few pecans in there, that'd make them killer. The chocolate version had the chips to bite into, the maple one has....nothing. Good maple, though, which is always a winner in my book so I judge not too harshly lest I be judged. Maybe I'll supply my own nuts next time.

Make out of the nutritionals what you will. As is par for the course, both have a lot of fat, a surprisingly high amount of sodium, a large chunk of your daily cholesterol. Gluten free, if that's a plus for you. Sandy said the protein muffins were better than giving our kids a straight up sugar bomb to eat...likely true, but yeah, there's a lot of that too. On the plus side they certainly quelled our hunger for a couple hours, and they go well with a cup of coffee. I'm hoping the muffins will stick around for a while into the fall and winter where they could be a good warm yo'self treat then too.

$1.99 each. Maybe that's a good price? Sorry, not in the microwavable single use cup protein muffin market much these days aside from TJ's. Will likely buy 'em again...and again...and again...just like everything else this summer. Again.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Protein Muffins: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Maple Protein Muffins: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Greek Style Feta Dressing

***Just over a year ago, near Spokane, Washington***

"Mmm. You remember this feta dressing?" asked Sonia, tearing into a freshly-purchased jar of Trader Joe's Greek Style Feta Dressing. "We don't need to take pictures because we already reviewed it a long time ago."

"Um...I remember the dressing, but I don't think we ever got around to reviewing it," I replied.

"No, we definitely reviewed it because we like it so much—well, because I like it so much," she insisted.

"I like it, too," I said. "But I'm pretty sure we haven't reviewed it yet."

"Wel, den ve cn tak pitchers nxt time," she responded through a mouthful of salad. "Or jus tak pitchers of de haf empy boddle."

***Yesterday, at an undisclosed location in the Upper Midwest***

"Ahhh. Remember this Greek feta dressing? It's so good," said Sonia, placing a bottle of it in the fridge. "I'm going to make a salad for lunch. You want one?"

"Sure. Thanks. Lemme snap a pic real fast this time," I said.

"Oh, we don't have to. We reviewed this stuff a looong time ago," declared Sonia.

***

It might seem like I'm having a chuckle at my wife's expense. Valid observation. I must confess that my brain is often the one with faulty memories. In this case, however, I correctly recalled that this delicious salad dressing had somehow eluded our sights for review on the blog all these years.

It's actually Sonia's favorite dressing of all time. I wouldn't go quite that far personally, but it is exceptionally tasty. It has all the tangy flavors of feta, but it's not quite as heavy as you might expect.

You can chalk it up to poor memory again, but Sonia and I both feel like it has gotten slightly thinner over the years, texture-wise. I'm not heartbroken over that. Thin dressings work just as well as thick ones, particularly when they're as flavorful as this selection.

It's almost like liquefied feta cheese mixed with a red wine vinaigrette sauce. It's got a nice zippy flavor with a subtle medley of Greek/Italian spices in the background. It goes with just about any kind of salad we've tried, and it's great as a unique sandwich condiment. Sometimes we'll get subs from the local hoagie place sans condiments, so they don't get soggy while they wait in our refrigerator, and then when we're ready to eat them, we'll just put some of this stuff on them. Delicioso. 

$1.99 for an 8 oz. bottle at your local Trader Joe's. Perfect five stars from Sonia. Four and a half from this guy.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Cups

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, commoners, I present to you King Buttercup. There he is, holding the new(ish) Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Cups. And while he may appear to be a common stuffed pug, perhaps you will find him not so common after all. He is, of course, named after the colors of a traditional peanut butter cup, which are colors he is adorned with so well. King Buttercup's domain is my basement desk, where he keeps me company all day long at the request of my five year old, who not only brought him from the Land of Target but bequeathed him his new name as well. Because, of course, as we all do, he loves good ol' buttercups anyways.

Who doesn't?

There's a few of you oddballs out there who somehow don't like chocolate and peanut butter together. I don't understand that at all. But maybe you need a small, high quality twist on the default American classic, hence King Buttercup sharing this TJ's treat with you today.

Oh. My. Goodness. These cups are so right up my alley. There's almost nothing not to like here. What really gets me is the overall quality of both the chocolate and the almond butter, and how well they fuse together.

By now, if you've had any TJ's dark chocolate covered products, you're familiar with the stuff - it's oh so good, isn't it? Not too sweet, not too milky, but dark and rich without being bland or bitter. I could go for darker, personally, but this is a "dark chocolate for the masses" I suppose, and it works.

The almond butter is pretty great, too. It's a touch salty and earthy with a slight bit of graininess that seems inherent to all almond butters.I'd likely eat it straight out of a jar if it were a standalone product, which is not something that I'd say about Reese peanut butter. That stuff only tastes good because of the chocolate and isn't an actually good solo product, in my opinion...but the TJ's nut butter here is.

And it melds so well with the dark chocolate. Here the two are, in perfect symbiiotic relationship with each other. Whales and barnacles, yin and yang, Siegfried and Roy...and dark chocolate and almond butter, here in a teeny tiny little cup.

Wait..."teeny tiny little cup?" Alas, there's the one issue. I should have thought to wonder down to the corner store to buy  some Reeses for comparision, but these guys seem small. I'd offer a wagering, off the top of my head guess, of being no more than 80% as big as a Reese. What's that mean? There's less chocolate and almond butter to enjoy! I want more! Even if that comes with a slightly higher price point! Some things are just worth it.

That's the only complaint. Seriously, go buy some and put 'em in your fridge or freezer. You'll thank me. If only they were a smidge bigger...oh well. As is, they are a treat fit for a king. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond butter Cups: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons