Trader Joe's Indian Style Garlic Achaar Sauce

Why is Indian food so delicious? I don't think I've ever had an Indian dish I didn't like. My hypothesis: it's the spices and sauces.

This tasty new Trader Joe's brand condiment lends credence to that theory. It's piquant, potent, and fabulously flavorsome. However, I have to share the following: while re-familiarizing myself with achaar sauce via internet search, I came across another popular jarred garlic achaar sauce: Brooklyn Delhi. First of all, that's a freaking brilliant play on words—not a Brooklyn deli like a delicatessen, but Delhi like the city in India. Ha! I love it.

Anyway, I mused for a moment about whether Brooklyn Delhi could possibly be Trader Joe's third party supplier of their own achaar. No sooner had the thought entered my mind when I stumbled across a tweet from the founder of Brooklyn Delhi calling Trader Joe's offering a "cheap, watered-down knock-off" of her version. 

All I have to say is DANG, girl, if this stuff is watered-down, then your roasted garlic achaar sauce must be absolutely life-changing and I must try it as soon as I can get my hands on some.

Because "watered-down" was the phrase farthest from my mind when I first tried this product. It's so rich and flavorful. It's super garlicky, but there are also hot chili spices and a deep, earthy bite that's so unique. We put it on naan bread with some eggs and garlic-flavored goat cheese. Fan-freaking-tastic. It's honestly quite noshable with nothing but bread—the eggs and cheese just made it a complete meal.

This would go great with chicken, fish, shrimp, fries, appetizers...honestly it's probably easier to list things it wouldn't go with than things it potentially could. I wouldn't try it with desserts, I guess. It would ruin ice cream or cake, I suppose.

I'm excited to experiment with it. $2.69 for the jar. It's not a huge jar, but a little goes a long way. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mashed Sweet Potatoes

A very long time ago at a county fair in central Pennsylvania, I had some sweet potato fries from a random vendor. They served them dusted with cinnamon and powdered sugar, and then poured some maple syrup over them. They were absolutely dessertastic.

Although I've recreated the recipe at home a few times since then, I've come across quite a few other restaurants and eateries that serve sweet potato fries, and in every instance they bring them out with ketchup or tartar sauce or some other condiment that I consider an abomination to pair with sweet potato fries. I never got that.

That would be like making sweet potato casserole with mayo and relish or tomato sauce or something like that. Nobody ever does that...because it would be disgusting. You put sweet stuff like marshmallows on your sweet potato casserole. And with this convenient, Thanksgivingy Trader Joe's offering, I decided to add cinnamon, maple syrup, and a dab of whipped cream to emulate a mushy version of those delicious fries.

And it was awesome. Sonia thought so, too. The product on its own is fine, as well. There's only one ingredient: sweet potatoes. So you know what it's gonna taste like, right? The bag contains approximately 35 pellets of frozen sweet potato. I guess about 10 pellets equals one serving. So you throw the desired amount plus a little water into a sauce pan. They melt right down into a smooth mush in about 6 minutes. There's not a lot of lumpiness in the equation. The product has a very nice even consistency, and it seems to be as flavorful as any non-frozen mashed sweet potatoes I've ever had.

If you want to get fancy and make a marshmallow glaze with chopped pecans and whatever else, this would work. Or if you want to take the lazy man's route and just dump a few tablespoons of maple syrup in the mix, top with a couple teaspoons of cinnamon and a dab of whipped cream, I can verify that tastes great that way, too—very much worthy of Thanksgiving Day dessert status in my opinion.

$2.49 for three and a half servings—could stretch it to four if you're serving with a big Turkey Day meal or anything like that. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Chocolatissimo Harvest Collection

You tricksy Chocolatissimo chocolatiers, you! You fooled me into thinking this was a Trader Joe's brand product, but it's actually not. It is, apparently, widely available at many Trader Joe's stores, it employs Trader Joe's-esque fonts and packaging, and really isn't this just like something TJ's would do: chocolates shaped like corn cobs, pumpkins, and nuts? Maybe, maybe not.

I think it seems Joesian enough anyway, and I was really excited about reviewing it. Funfact: out of the 1,660 posts on this blog, at least half a dozen have been non-Trader Joe's brand items. At any rate, it's most definitely harvest time around here and time to look at this chocolatey Harvest Collection.

First impressions: the shapes of the chocolates are intricate and detailed. You can see individual corn kernels on the cobs. The nuts and pinecones have actual ridges and bumps like you'd see on the real thing. There's even a green stem atop the orange pumpkin.

Each candy is filled with a particular flavor of cream or praline. It's not liquid cream—it's solid chocolate, but it's nice and soft and the flavors are very tasty. Sonia and I both agree our favorite is the walnut praline filling. Imagine if they made a chocolate spread with walnuts instead of hazelnuts. It works significantly better than I thought it would.

The hazelnut praline filling errs on the side of sweet milk chocolate rather than that of actual nuts. The crispy variety (the corn cobs) also flaunt a hint of crunchiness, which I think might be teensy tiny little morsels of actual hazelnut. I like the crispy pieces more than the plain smooth ones.

There's also one caramel cream "nut" in the pack. It's like a sweet creamy caramel-flavored chocolate. It's on par with something you mind stumble across in a Whitman's Sampler or something along those lines. Not bad at all, but not Sonia's or my favorite.

$3.99 for a top quality pack of super-cute fall-themed chocolates imported from Belgium. Would work great as a party favor, gift, or mid-day serotonin booster. Might pick up again just for another taste of that walnut flavored filling. Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Stuffing Mix

 So listen...yes, it's Halloween in a few days and I hate the seasonal creep as much as anyone else. One holiday at a time. Yes, absolutely, yes. 

But stuffing really shouldn't be relegated to "just Thanksgiving" right? Like, when it's one of the first cold rainy days of the fall, when it's a great day to stay inside, watch some movies, play some games, read some books and snuggle some cats, a little warm stuffing will only do, right?

Such as it was this past weekend, and my lovely bride and I wanted to make one of her mom's classic comfort foods, chicken and stuffing. It's...what it sounds like it is, except with some cream of whatever soup and cheddar cheese all dumped in and mixed up. Not classy, per se, but pretty darn delicious. 

As you guessed by now, we used Trader Joe's Gluten Free Stuffing Mix. 

And you know what? it worked. Everything about the celiac friendly stuffing mix hit all the right buttons. We have no express need to be gluten free so we tend to judge these kinda products a bit closely. Honestly, and I mean this a compliment, I'd have no idea this was sans wheat if I didn't know.

No graininess. No dryness. No weird vibes. Okay, a few bites were a bit granular and sandy, but none so more that can happen with "regular" stuffing. That can be the fault of inadequate mixing more than anything. I'd never think that rice flour were capable of such a thing, but technology these days, I guess, right?

For taste, the stuffing gives off all the right flavors. There's all the savory aspects of chicken broth and celery and pepper and yeah, absolutely, a lot of salt. It's all there. If not making our particular dish, adding some apple slices or raisins like my mom did would have been a nice little touch. 

There's really not much to suggest that the TJ's GF stuffing is all that much different from Stove Top or even a decent homemade variety. It's easy and convenient and delish - all our kiddos gobbled it down and begged for seconds. Winner winner...turkey dinner? Grab some if you see it. $3ish bucks so it's worth it. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Gluten Free Stuffing Mix: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps

This product has the "nutty, fruity glass shard" effect going on like we've seen once or twice before in Trader Joe's products. And like those other ultra-crunchy, shatters-in-your-mouth kinetic assault snacks, you could theoretically bite sharp angles around the edge of these crisps and use them in the manner of shuriken, kunei or other throwable ninja weapons. Or you can slather them in thick and creamy cheeses to mitigate potential tooth enamel wreckage and bleeding tongue carnage. While the former is conceivably more fun, the latter is distinctively more delicious. But I suppose you're here to find out what they taste like.

Not to be confused with pita crisps with cranberries and pumpkin seeds, reviewed 8 years ago this month, here we have non-pita crisps with cranberries and pumpkin powder, rather than cranberries and pepitas. The pumpkin powder blends with turmeric, rosemary, cinnamon, and nutmeg for a fancy, unique spice profile. The product is fairly spice-forward by my reckoning, particularly when consumed without cheese or dip. There's also a nutty, wheaty blend in the background, complete with golden flax and sunflower seeds. Bright notes of cranberry top the whole thing off for a surprisingly flavorful and interesting snack crisp.

Honestly, as far as taste is concerned, I think these little cracker-esque bites could stand alone without any cheese or condiments of any kind. The problem is they NEED the cheese to help the texture. If they could make a soft version, I'd inhale these things by the handful. 

The flavor, though pleasant and unique, isn't very intense or strong, so even mild cheese has a tendency to overshadow everything going on in the crisp. We tried them with goat chevre and run-of-the-mill unsophisticated cream cheese. Both yielded more or less the same result: a tasty, creamy snack with a faint pumpkin cranberry whisper in the background. There's still a significant crunch-factor, but it's not intolerably intense thanks to the cheese.

Sonia's teeth must be stronger than mine because she plowed through her share pretty quickly. She gives the product four and a half stars. I want to like them that much, but I can't completely get past the rigid texture. So three out of five from yours truly.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vegan Chickpea Masala Salad

I'm not sure how appropriate it is to review this product right now. We're right in the midst of pumpkin, butternut squash, apple, maple, sweet potato season. It's officially fall. October. Autumn. But this here is essentially a cold bean salad. I think of this as more of a summer type food.

But once in a while, it's fun to do something wildly inappropriate. Well, okay, wildly inappropriate might be hyperbole. I mean, look at the colors. They're as fall-ish as you'd want them to be: bright orange and crisp yellow, with vibrant red on the label.

The product tastes as vivid as it looks. Sonia and I were both surprised how much we liked it. I'll eat chickpeas any day of any season, and masala dishes are almost always delicious. I was a bit wary of the "topped with pickled vegetables" part of the equation, though, but it turned out to be the perfect crown for this unique melange of flavors.

Mustard, lemon, onions, garlic, paprika, tamarind, cilantro. You can taste it all. It's nice and spicy, but the actual heat is extremely subtle. As you might expect, there's a rich, earthy, beany flavor at the core of this dish, but it's so much more complex than that. The teensy bits of cauliflower and carrot soaked in brine and vinegar round out the dish with tang and crunch.

The beautiful wifey and I had big plans to put this product in wraps and sandwiches and maybe even slather it on toasted naan bread, but we didn't make it that far. Between the two of us, we polished off the tub in a single day. It just kept calling us back for forkful after forkful of the Indian-spiced bean salad.

Every once in a while Sonia gets mistaken for an East Indian woman. Maybe it's all the masala spices on her breath. I'm sure she'll buy this product again, but she also wants to try to make her own version at home. $4.99 for the 12oz tub. Perfect five from her. Four from me.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheesy Seasoning Blend

 Growing up, if were gonna have broccoli, my mom would almost always take a huge chunk of Velveeta, toss it into a large Pyrex glass measuring cup, likely add a little milk, and nuke it to make an ooey-gooey cheese sauce for all us kids to drown our veggies in. 

Man. The mere thought of that these days makes pretty much every major body system of mine feel clogged. Awesome for a kid? Sure thing! Don't blame my mama one bit. But now? Not so much. 

Still, cheese goes so great with veggies...there has to be a better way...maybe like the new Trader Joe's Cheesy Seasoning Blend? 

This cheesy sprinkle actually works pretty decently, and packs more of a cheesy punch than expected. Is it a cheese or is it a spice? Or is enough of each to be both? I'm not smart enough to say with all certainty.

But anyways even a light sprinkle on some roasted broccoli gave those trees some cheese to please. I swear it tasted like perhaps i sprinkled a little actual cheese on there, not so much from the globby melty sense but just in the pure flavor sense. Very nice and sharply cheddarific, with a little hint of garlic to boot. Delish. Like it.

I can definitely see this working on more than just veggies, of course. popcorn is an absolute no brainer. Some saldas and pastas and maybe even on pizza could work. Soups too. Or buttered bread. or...well..you get the point. Very little would be better of without a little hit of cheddar. 

And as an added bonus, you know how sprinkle cheese can get all melty then glues itself on dishes? not the case here. As the main dinnertime dish handler in the fam, that's an automatic win.

My lovely bride, our ever-so-charming rugrats and I all liked it. Yeah, we'll be using this a lot. Decent enough - not earth shattering but solid. Double fours cuz why not. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cheesy Seasoning Blend: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Sweet Cinnamon Filled Korean Pancakes

Bro...do you even hotteok?

Can't say I can, because I just learned the word tonight when prepping some Trader Joe's Sweet Cinnamon Filled Korean Pancakes. Lol..."Korean pancakes." Call 'em what they are, TJ's. Hotteok. Granted, yes, I along with likely 80% or more of shoppers wouldn't know what that means at first glance, but I'm always down for a little culinary education. Apparently hotteok is a popular Korean street food, filled with all sorts of stuff, in, well, more or less a pancake form. Never saw or heard of them before as I've never been to Korea and that's not much Korean influence around the 'burgh that'd make something even as tasty and tantalizing like this readily available. 

All that to say, heck yeah, Trader Joe's sweet cinnamon filled Korean pancakes are pretty good.

Let's take another second to be clear here: I am not qualified in any way, shape or form to claim these as authentic or close to the real thing or for them to even be half as good. I'd actually be fairly and pleasantly surprised if they were. I'm judging these pancakes simply on their own merits, including costing $3ish bucks for 4 of them, and heating them from frozen on my stovetop for just a few minutes. So take as you will.

All that being said, yum. Let's start with the dough. It's delicious and pretty unique for my experience. Even heating right from frozen, with no butter or oil or anything used, the outside gets all browned and crispy and a touch greasy, just like a good comfort food should. Love it. Further in, it's not quite a mochi-esque bite, but in some ways it's close as it's a little chewy but also soft and moist and gooey and oozing out warmth. Looking over ingredients, there's all sorts of stuff in the dough - wheat, sweet potato, rice flour - that come together well into a soft, lightly sweet cake. 

The cinnamon reservoir is pretty fantastic too. I mean, it's a lot of cinnamon. Be careful that stuff is ridiculously hot and stays that way for longer than expected. The cinnamon adds a great spice bite that complements the dough really well, making these compact cakes have more punch than expected. 

Still, adding a little ice cream or whipped cream or something like that to just really fill it out? That'd be worthy of hashtagging a #chefskiss all over this. 

Delicious, We love 'em and I'm glad we got a second bag that I'm already looking forward to busting open. Authentic? Maybe, maybe not...if you know, tell me. But I'm glad that TJ's has introduced me to this particular chunk of the culinary world, and I know I'll be seeking out the real deal if I ever get the chance. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sweet Cinnamon Filled Korean Pancakes: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Organic Chickpea & Red Lentil Risoni

Did you know you can eat more food if you eat very quickly? It's true. If you eat slowly, you can feel yourself getting full. If you eat too fast, you're far more likely to overeat.

I did that with this deceptively dense and filling rice substitute for my "second breakfast" meal the other day. It was my first time trying risoni. I made about two thirds of the six-serving box, threw in some olive oil and onion salt and started chowing down.

Within minutes I had eaten about half the portion that I made, which if you do the math, is about two full servings of the product. I don't think I'll see any long-term weight gain or anything like that, but in 5 or 10 minutes these legume-based "grains" expanded in my tummy and made it feel FULL as can be, and lemme tell ya, I had some massive postprandial somnolence going on. I could barely function for a few hours. Didn't expect that from a box of chickpeas and lentils.

Full disclosure, I did add some cheese before I finished my portion—er two portions, rather—because I felt it lacked a little zing. I mean it lacked zing the way plain rice lacks zing. It's actually much tastier than I thought it would be.

Usually mid-morning, Sonia is still in coffee and cereal mode, but on this particular occasion, she followed my lead and finished the other half of the risoni in the sauce pan well before elevensies. She was even more impressed than I was and wound up more than full after consuming approximately two regular servings of this would-be side dish turned stand-alone meal randomly prepared and consumed on this Labor Day weekend.

There's an earthy richness that white rice lacks here, however, both risoni and rice need at least a little bit of salt to be palatable, if you ask me. Texture-wise, it's slightly more al dente than regular rice, but still somewhat soft and supple. Along with olive oil and cheese, this could be a stand-alone meal, or at least a snack. We both think it would go great as a side for chicken or fish, or basically wherever you'd use rice or cauliflower rice or orzo type foods.

$2.99 for the box. Would buy again.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vegan Meatless Meat Eater's Pizza

As you're likely more than well aware of by now, life is full of endless contradictions and redundacies. Who am I to depress you by pointing more out? We're diversion, not real life commentary, for the most part. 

Still, the name "Trader Joe's Vegan Meatless Meat Eater's Pizza" is a bit of a headache. It's both vegan (one definition) and meatless (another definition), which I understand the nuances betweenn't those words. It's like a square and rectangle thing. A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is necessarily a square. Duh. Thanks, sixth grade geometry. But...why use both? Then use the phrase "meat eater"? Is the phrase "meat lover" trademarked or taboo? Is the meat eater the vegan meatless entity here, really, and not the pizza? But then how can one be a meatless meat eater, unless you're referring to one's body as being composed of meat, and being a person who has to eat, which while technically true is unecessarily complicated and creepy for a food product name for it to point out? This whole thing makes me go for the Excedrin. 

Good thing this is actually a surprisingly good pizza.

Not gonna lie: I had somewhat low expectations for this pizza, based on nothing but a whim. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised. Usually I can taste the difference between vegan meat substitutes and the real deal, but here, whether the pepperoni, the sausage, or the "chorizo style crumbles" it tasted 100% real. Everything was properly spiced, and had a little pseudo gristle which passed off as close enough to real deal, and dare I say, was even a little meaty. To be sure, each of the not-meats were a touch softer than the real deal, but man, it could have fooled me if I weren't paying close attention. Exceptionally well done here, TJ's.

If anything here is the vegan tell, it's the cheese. And that's not a knock. Don't let the pic fool you - while not looking overly melty like a good mozzarella, it has a shockingly creamy mouthfeel. A little too creamy. But it's a plus and not a minus - maybe some of that is a diversion away from the textural differences of the meat subsitutes. Can't say I've had a mozzarella quite like that - soft, mild, creamy - and while not true to the real thing, it works pretty well on this particular pie.  

The one thing, though, is this: the crust. It's a pretty standard frozen pizza crust. While that's not a demerit all by itself, the first ingredient, out of all things, is wheat flour. Listen: TJ's went thru all the trouble of making passable pepperonis, salient sausages, choice chorizos and melty mozzarellas out of things like soy and peas and mushrooms and coconuts and whatever else...but not a decent gluten free crust to really seal the deal and drive this baby home? Jeez Louise. The mind boggles. Check all the boxes next time, TJ's. 

Also: an ingredient is listed as rice brain oil in both the sausagey subs. Not rice bran. Rice brain. I don't want to eat rice with a brain, and does that make it an animal and therefore a meat? More Excedrin STAT. 

At least the tomatoes are most likely vegan, even if beefstakes.

Anyways, my lovely bride and I were most happy with this purchase for $5ish for an easy dinner for the two of us, and we'd likely do again. No headache about that, it's an easy choice. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Vegan Meatless Meat Eater's Pizza: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

 

 
 

Trader Joe's Organic Peach Fruit Spread

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

That's what they say, anyway. I always assume that's what's going on when someone does something I'm doing. As a school kid, back when I had a full head of blond hair, I got a spike. A week later, half my class showed up at homeroom with pointy Bart Simpson haircuts and tubes of hair gel in hand. What a trendsetter I am, I thought to myself.

Or a slightly more recent example: one day I brought a Trader Joe's brand beverage to work. And two days later, some co-workers followed suit and brought TJ's drinks along, too. Same thing happened with cookies, sauces, pastries... Cheers, friends. Great minds think alike.

I mean, they might have been making fun of me in some underhanded, passive-aggressive way. But I had no reason to think that, nor would I have cared even if it were the case. I'll always just assume the best, refer to the first line of this post, and carry on with business as usual.

But what about when somebody imitates themself? I mean, isn't that what we have here? Trader Joe's already offered us a pretty stellar fruit spread made with real peaches. If it ain't broke, then why try to fix it?

Could be a 3rd party supplier issue. Could be people were scared off by the "Bellini" part of the product. I mean, it did contain real white wine, but not even enough to make mention of an alcohol content. Whatever the reason, I say, if you're going to imitate yourself, keep the product at least as good as it was and hopefully make a few improvements.

Organic peaches. Organic cane sugar. I guess those are upgrades. No Prosecco. Whether that's an improvement or not depends upon your perspective, I suppose.

One thing some people might like that I wasn't particularly thrilled with: bigger peach chunks. The peaches in the previous iteration were pureed. There are big wads of pure peach here that simply don't want to spread onto toast smoothly. Again, some people might not mind that. I guess it works for pie filling or smoothie ingredients.

Flavor-wise, the two products are very similar. You could taste the white wine before, which I liked. This flavor is more purely peach. Neither product was overly sweet, but this one might even be a smidge less sugary. I'd probably settle on the same score for both if it weren't for those large, slightly stringy peach masses scattered throughout this jar. I'll go half a star lower. Sonia will keep her score the same, stating that she likes it just as much and at $2.49 for the jar, it's significantly less expensive.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sandwich

Age old question time: which came first, the chicken or the egg?

In the case of Trader Joe's Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sandwich, the answer is pretty clear to me: the chicken.

Huh?

Years ago, remember when KFC made waves with their sandwich using two slabs of fried chicken as the bun? If memory serves correctly, Taco Bell followed soon after with a fried chicken taco shell. While perhaps not the first ever entities to do so, I feel as though that's when the idea of using protein in place of carbs for sandwiches got introduced to the general public consciousness. That's straight spitballing with no research behind it whatsoever,so if I'm wrong I'm wrong, but I'm sticking to it...for now. 

Anyhoos, the TJ's eggwich. Love me a good breakfast sandwich, and while tough to screw up, they unfortunately can be. Just ask the new cafe by my workplace. Ugh. 

What struck me yet again about this kind of sandwich is how normal it all tasted. Like, the lack of carbs was scarcely noted. Certainly, a good bagel or croissant or whatever can add to the overall appeal of a sandwich, but when not there and everything else is good enough as is, their lack of presence really isn't a huge deal. 

That'd be the case here. First off, the eggs. Certainly, they're not as good as fresh-cracked ones, but for a frozen egg entity it'll do just fine. The egg pucks are a bit firm, to be sure, but not rubbery or chewy or anything, and not too un-egg-like to elicit much response. 

The turkey sausage and cheese are pretty standard issue, without much to note. If you want to add a little salsa or hot sauce to liven it up, by all means, go for it. As is, there's a nice little white pepper/black pepper to give the whole sandwich a little savory flair. It's all not all that greasy at all. 

I like 'em, as does my lovely bride. Apparently Costco sells a version of something similar to this which we neglected to price-check, so I'm not 100% sure of how great a deal that two of them for $3.99 is, but I know that's about what one breakfast sandwich costs most anywhere these days unless you're going off a drive thru value menu. So there's that. These sandwiches are very likely rebuy to help tide over on the busy mornings as school winds its way back up and I'm back in the office for my daytime job. Decent sandwiches for sure, so don't be too chicken to try 'em out!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sandwich: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

 

Trader Joe's Onion Salt

Right there on the front of the shaker, it says this product is "a savory allium blend." I've heard the word allium before, but I had to look it up.

It's the genus that includes many of the most delicious plants on God's green earth: garlic, onions, shallots, leeks, scallions, and chives.

More like alli-YUM, am I right?

Furthermore, their medicinal properties are epic. I've cured bacterial infections and lowered my blood pressure with raw garlic, for example. Now, make no mistake, this isn't medical advice...but if it were medical advice, it might just be the best medical advice you ever received.

To be sure, you need the raw stuff to get those wizard-level health benefits from the allium family, so you're not going to be putting any pharmacists out of business with products like this one. However, the scrumptious savory flavors of the allium family are here in spades.

It's not just onion you'll taste. There's garlic and chives in the mix, too. Also kosher salt...hence the word "salt" in the product title. I wouldn't have been heartbroken if it were just onion, garlic, and chives. You can always add your own salt if you wish. Furthermore, why leave out shallots, leeks, and scallions from the mix..?

The side of the label says to try it with eggs or stir into sour cream for a dip. I did both. At the SAME TIME. Pretty delicious. Garlic and onion sour cream-topped scrambled eggs are the bomb.

$1.99 for a 2 oz. shaker. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me. I'd love to hear what else you do with this stuff in the comments below.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon Cake Mix with Lemon Icing

All right, kids, happy Friday! It's time for another episode of Baking with Mr. and Mrs. Rodgers. For today's treat, we'll be making Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon Cake. Or, more accurately, Mrs. Rodgers will be making a cake while Mr. Rodgers chronicles the adventure in this super-duper fun and exciting blog post. Remember, it's Friday the 13th, and disaster could strike at any moment, so don't turn that oven up too high. Pre-heat to 350 degrees and that should about do it.

All you'll need is your Meyer Lemon Cake Mix, a stick of butter, an egg, and some water. Of course, you'll want a loaf pan to bake in, too. Mmm. That batter looks tasty. Mrs. Rodgers isn't thrilled when I stick my grubby paws into the cake batter to sneak a lick, but we'll go ahead and do that anyway. Yum. It's sweet and lemony. Ouch! Stop hitting me, Mrs. Rodgers!

Now we have to wait 50 to 55 minutes while the cake bakes. And then...we have to wait another 45 minutes while it cools? What the what? Who has the willpower to do that?

I was once told the following rhyme about restraint and self-control:

"Patience is a virtue
And virtue is a Grace
And Grace is a little girl
Who would not wash her face."

It never helped me with waiting, but I suppose it distracted me momentarily. It's more relevant when you know someone named Grace, which I don't. I digress.

Yikes! Mrs. Rodgers burned herself on the oven rack while removing the loaf pan. Now she has a funny dark line on her forearm. Usually I'm the one who does something clumsy in the kitchen. Oh well. There's always a bit of bad luck on Friday the 13th.

Like an eon later, while waiting for the cake to cool, it's time for Mrs. Rodgers to mix the water, butter, and icing mix together. She might have used a little more than 2 tablespoons of butter, but that's fine. It still looks tasty. It is tasty. And I'm being scolded for once again dipping my finger into the mixture before it's done, this time the icing rather than the cake batter. Oooh. That's sweet.

The cake is super moist and dense. It's pretty lemony, too, although I would almost always prefer more intense lemon flavor. It's really more like a vanilla cake with a lemon essence or lemon zing. There's an adequate amount of icing if you distribute it evenly over the whole loaf. In fact, I think we have a bit left over, which we will manually apply to unfrosted portions in the center of the cake.

The outer crust of the cake is golden brown and is much firmer than the cake in the center. I kinda prefer the soft, spongy, inner portions, while Mrs. Rodgers likes the toastier brown parts.

$3.29 for a tasty loaf of sweet, soft cake with a respectable amount of lemonosity. Four stars a piece from Mr. and Mrs. Rodgers. Thanks for hanging out with us today, everybody. Join us next time for more zany antics and culinary mayhem on Baking with Mr. and Mrs. Rodgers.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee BBQ Sauce

 Inarguably, there's few things that pair together better in these hot summer months than some grilling or smoking and a cold, cold beverage. It's especially true if said cold beverage is a little sudsy and a bit hoppy, at least for me, but really, any cold one could do. 

However, coffee isn't the first drink that comes to mind when it comes to grilling. If you're pulling an all-nighter on a mega "slow and low" session, sure, I can get it. I don't do those at this stage in my life. If I'm up all night it's usually not for something fun like that. 

However, Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee BBQ Sauce is having me rethink that a little. No, not staying up all night to crutch and foilwrap a piece of meat. It's that maybe...coffee and barbeque make better bedfellows than I lent credence to. 

The base of the sauce is a good, basic, straightforward BBQ sauce. It's sweet and spicy with solid notes of both brown sugar and chili pepper, with apple cider vinegar and molasses adding plenty of depth. There's some sneaky heat towards the ened - it's not high, by any stretch, but spicier than I thought it'd be. Even then, the heat is offset partially and nicely by a little herbal flair. The last ingredient in the sauce is dried rosemary and I swear I tasted that before I read the list. 

So what does the cold brew coffee add?

Plenty. 

There is absolutely a distinct taste of nonacidic, non-bitey, mild, smooth black coffee that permeates the sauce as a core component. I think if all the cold brew and all the rest of the sauce were to somehow be seperated from one another and sampled individually, we'd have a okay cup of cold brew and a decent enough sauce. Put 'em both together though? Another level, and one of the more distinct sauces I've hoad in a hot minute. 

Good stuff. I've used the sauce a few times for pulled pork and it works great. Can't imagine it not working well for brisket or ribs. It may be a touch too heavy for chicken, but I'd give that a try before saying that definitively. If you got a pro tip for the sauce, leave it in a comment below, I'm all ears. 

It's a winner in my family. Costs maybe $4. Gonna keep on keepin' on with it. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee BBQ Sauce: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Double Chocolate Almond Flour Cookies

Oh, double chocolate. Can any other words in the English language elicit such instant intrerest and happiness? Double rainbow guy was pretty happy, of course...but double chocolate? C'mon now. It made you look. Admit it.

Such as it is with Trader Joe's Double Chocolate Almond Flour Cookies. There's instantaneous intrigue, and if you deny that, I'm calling your bluff. Double. Chocolate. Bring, It. On. 

First off, let's admit: These are some decidedly small cookies. I mean, tiny. If a serving size is seven cookies and there's eight servings in this rather smallish box, we're talking more like Zoolanderesque cookies for ants, right? That's the case here. Each "cookie" is not that much bigger than a marbe, and I can't expect them to be more than one bite for practically anyone, small children included.

That being said, these bi-chocolate bites pack a relatively decent punch. As the name suggests, there's chocolate in the actual cookie dough, as well as mini chocolate chips sprinkled through out. Plenty of chocolate for anyone! It works, especially as the cookie itself is soft yet crunchy, crumbly yet with a bite, melt in your mouth yet worthy of several chomps. With it being almond flour, there's a small touch of earthiness and nuttiness that lends itself well to the cookie as a whole. I've had other almond flour confections before, and I'll be honest in saying this is one I've enjoyed more than others. 

I'd eat way too many of these, but fortunately the almond flour also makes them a little heavier in the tummy. As one not terribly senstive to gluten one way or another, I'll take that built-in portion control as a plus. Good cookies, and not too cardboardy or weird like some glutenfree products can be, and for like $3ish for the box, it's a good value. Eat 'em up, there's almost no reason not to. Double chocolate. What a world. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Double Chocolate Almond Flour Cookies: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons   

 

Trader Joe's Lemon Zest Madeleine Cookies

Sonia's mad about madeleines.

They're soft, spongy, lightly sweet, and almost always delicious. And in this case, they're lemontastic, too.

Like their punkinny predecessors, these cookies flaunt an amazing mouthfeel. There's a melt-in-your-mouth quality, texture-wise. Absolutely no complaints there. We even consumed ours a few days past the best by date, and they were still perfectly soft and scrumptious. Miraculously, they didn't burst to life with mold growth or anything like that, either, despite the summer heat.

Flavor-wise, again, no complaints. Lemon lends itself to any white cake or sponge cake type application in my opinion. These cookies are no exception. If anything, that's my biggest complaint: I'd apply even more lemonosity. If they were absolutely dripping with tart, tangy real lemon juice, it couldn't have hurt the flavor.

About three bucks for six cookies. Each cookie is two or three bites, I'd say, depending upon how big your bites are, of course. From the moment the package was open, the cookies lasted about 90 seconds between me and the beautiful wifey.

Some years ago, there was a moment when we thought Sonia might be pregnant. I'm not sure if the cookies had anything to do with it subconsciously, but we both agreed that if it turned out to be a girl that we'd name her Madeleine. Alas, it was not to be in this lifetime. 

Will buy again. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vegan Tzatziki Dip

I was highly skeptical about this condiment.

I've never been a fan of vegan cheeses. I honestly think I've had more consistently edible vegan fake meat than vegan cheese or vegan dairy in general. Sonia and I both love our dairy products.

Likewise, I love me some tzatziki sauce, so I was curious how this would turn out, curious what they'd use in place of yogurt, curious if they'd be able to mimic both the taste and texture of that unique, tangy Middle Eastern sauce.

Just as I suspected, the flavor is nearly identical to traditional tzatziki, but the texture is somewhat different. The taste is full of dill and tangy citrus flavors, with notes of garlic and pepper in the background. There is a creaminess there, too. But it's not quite like dairy cream. It appears they used an alternative that's made of coconut oil and potato starch. Yikes! That's a weird combo to replace Greek yogurt, right?

But you know what? It works. It works in terms of flavor—somehow it doesn't taste like coconut or potatoes. It really tastes pretty darn close to actual tzatziki.

Now the texture is another story. To me, it's significantly thicker than the traditional stuff. It's a bit starchy, too, but still there's this quality that nearly imitates actual thick yogurt. And in the end, unusually thick tzatziki isn't really bad at all. It's easier to get a bunch of it on your falafel or veggies or pita or whatever you're eating it with. It comes out of the tub in little globs. It's much less runny than traditional dairy tzatziki. It's honestly weirdly good that way. I don't know what the dairy equivalent might be. Like maybe...what if they made tzatziki with cottage cheese instead of Greek yogurt?

Sonia's a big fan. She likes it better than traditional tzatziki and promises she'll buy it again. Four and a half stars from her.

$3.99 for the tub. Although I'm a fan, I can't say it'll replace dairy tzatziki for me completely. If I were vegan or lactose-intolerant, I'd be all over this stuff every time I stepped into a Trader Joe's. Three and a half stars from me and an overall thumbs up.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Coffee Buzz Bars

 A normal ounce of dark chocolate contains roughly 12mg of caffeine according to the allknowing Googlemachine. That's...not a lot. 

A regular cup of coffee contains about 90mg of caffeine. Sometimes that's not nearly enough, other times, well, could be a bad idea if you need a little shuteye soon enough, or if you've already had a couple cups. 

So, Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Coffee Buzz Bars, with 70mg of caffeine per serving, seems a happy medium between the two, with a little bit of both all mixed up.

Really, the easiest way to describe the taste of these bars is as a chocolate-covered coffee bean, in bar form without the crunchy bean. That's really pretty much it. Pretty heavy on the bitterness, and decidedly more towards coffee as the caffeine content alludes to, there's still enough chocolate to be had to help balance out this fairly bittersweet little treat.

 It's one of those kinda deals where a little could go a long way, and thankfully the packaging allows for it. I believe my lovely bride referred to it as a portfolio. The outer package has four smaller bars nestled inside, individually wrapped for an easy purse/manbag grab. As decadent as these choo-coffee bars are, just a dab will do you most likely, so I'm thankful for not one huge solid bar to try and manage. Good call here, TJ's. 

Good stuff, and it's a treat that's absolutely for the grownups. Sandy loves them as they combine two of her top five favorite things in one tidy little package. If only there was a way to also incorporate puppies, bacon, and Lin-Manuel Miranda she'd be set...but she'll go ahead give it a perfect five anyways. Loves it. Me? I'm not as huge but am not opposed either, but it's not nearly as much my thing. I'll go with a 3.5. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Coffee Buzz Bars: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons