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Monday, January 14, 2019

Trader Joe's Fruit & Nut (& Other Stuff) Crisps


Petrified fruitcake slices.

Not the most flattering of descriptions, I know. But that's what I'm going with here as the opening line of this review. If you think there's any way you could ever be into Grammy's old-fashioned fruitcake—particularly a specimen from, I don't know, the 1920's?—left on a shelf to harden and crustify into a nearly rock-like state, yet paradoxically retain a fair amount of freshness flavor-wise, then read on. If that's something you don't think could ever work or that you would never ever try, then there's not a whole lot of hope you'll like this product, in my estimation.

I used the term "rock-like" above. I won't take it back just yet, but I'll elaborate. Rocks are extremely hard, obviously, but when broken into very thin pieces, in the manner of slate rock, for example, they're also quite frangible. Same with these crisps. They're not unlike bagel chips, texture-wise, but they're darn solid. Brittle. They shatter in your mouth. Their explosive kinetic energy can, however, be tempered with cheese. We did indeed enjoy them with a nice chevre, and not only was their flavor enhanced, but their intense oral fragmentalization was considerably mitigated.


In the taste department, they're impressive. I mean, that is, if you like fruitcake. These are fruit crisps—fruit and nut (and other stuff) crisps—to be exact. We don't see parentheses a lot in the titles of Trader Joe's products. I'm not sure how I feel about the use of parentheses in general, let alone in the title of a product or film or album or work of art. But I digress. Let's just be thankful they can't get away with using that trick in the ingredients list just yet.

Ingredients: Fruit, nuts, (other stuff).

Although, isn't that what it feels like when they put "other natural flavors" at the end of the list? Just to be clear, they did not do that here, but I see it far too often on various products. Again with the digression...

I was saying the taste of this product is nutty, fruity, slightly sweet, and it flaunts a rich bready flavor, as well. As mentioned above, it blends perfectly with chevre. TJ's also recommends serving the crisps with brie or cured meats on the packaging. We can't vouch for those, but I'd imagine they'd work just fine, too.

If snacking on nutty, fruity glass shards sounds appealing, put your favorite oral healthcare specialist on speed dial and dig in.

Maybe I'm exaggerating about the texture.

Am I exaggerating about the texture?

Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

10 comments:

  1. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'd actually like this. I just discovered Aldi's stollen, and stollen bites (which are somehow better) and I guess I like fruitcake? That was unexpected.

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    1. This really is a tasty product, I just can't get beyond the hardness completely. Never had proper stollen, but now I'm curious.

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  2. I love fruitcake but I haven't tried these yet.

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    1. I generally like fruitcake, too. You'll probably like this if crispy fruitcake sounds good to you.

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  3. I would totally do these with ice cream too. Even little ice cream sandwiches with the TJ French Vanilla.

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  4. Snacking on nutty, fruity glass shards...my favorite! :D

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  5. Would they soften up if you left the cheese on for a bit to absorb the moisture?

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  6. I have a love-hate relationship with these. I enjoy the flavor, but they are too hard to absolutely love. But they work to fulfill the desire for a sweet snack and avoid downing an abundance of dessert that's easier to eat. That said, there was a sign on these a few days ago announcing that they were a seasonal product, and to get 'em while they last.

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  7. These are a blatant knock off of “raincoast crisps” which are usually $8 a box and have the same rock hard texture and dense nuts/seeds/dried fruits.
    I don’t get it. I like crunchy things, but these go so far beyond that. Not for me.
    Ttrockwood

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  8. I just finished off my box of date and but ones. I love them. I went to TJ to get more and they are nowhere to be found. They are just like the raincoats crisps and I’m addicted.

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