Trader Joe's Spud Crunchies

For a moment after opening the bag, I thought, "Oh, bummer! There's no resealable ziplock on this package." A moment later, I realized why. These things won't last long enough to get stale. Oh, and that whole "4 servings per container" there on the nutrition info IS A BIG FAT LIE.

You'll be lucky to get two servings here. Especially if there's more than one person involved. Not just because two people eat twice as much, but because eating the bag becomes a race against the other person. If you snooze, you'll lose your share.

And I should mention that the picture right below this paragraph was taken near the end of the bag. I had opened the package with every intention of taking a picture right out of the gate, but we actually plowed through nearly the whole thing before we remembered we hadn't taken a picture. As a result, the crunchies you see here aren't perfectly representative of the ones in the bag—they're somewhat smaller than the average sticks you actually get.

A long time ago, there was a mini-discussion about another TJ's product that emulated "zombified McDonald's French fries," Trader Joe's Veggie Sticks. We were a fan of those snacks, but somehow, by some miracle of science, Trader Joe's got their hands on an even better product.

There are significantly fewer ingredients here. These snacks feel even more potato-y because they're not made of potato flour, wheat flour, and other weird vegetable "powders." These delightful, snacktastic sons of mothers are made with "potato," and in my opinion, they even more accurately approximate an age-old McDonald's fry, but miraculously, they do it with more flavor.

They're quite salty, which totally works here. As mentioned before, they're also very potato-y, and you can taste and feel the canola oil as well. Texture-wise they're definitely similar to an ancient fry, but ever so slightly in the direction of a potato chip. They're less starchy than long-forgotten fast food fries, and perhaps slightly more crispy.

This is just a fun, tasty snack all around. Would make a great after-hike treat. Two bucks at the local Joe's. I'd buy 'em again.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Extra Hot Habanero Ghost Pepper Salsa

It's that time of year again. There's so much to love about fall...cool weather, baseball playoffs, crockpot dinners, hoodie sweatshirts, pumpkin patches. So on and so forth. It's my favorite season of the year by far.

But, it's not perfect. There's the one big thing that always comes, always stands in the way, the one thing I cannot avoid or shake no matter what.

Pity me. It's man cold season.

Starting around now, and ending sometime in April, I will almost always have a cold, or at least some semblance of one. The sneezing, the cough, the congestion....you know what I'm talking about. Between now and Easter I'll probably guzzle a pallet of DayQuil. No matter what,  though, I can never shake it.

But I maybe have a secret weapon now: Trader Joe's Extra Hot Habanero Ghost Pepper Salsa.

This may be a bit premature, but I may be cured only about 8 days into man cold funk season, all thanks to this super spicy salsa. The cactus  on the package has it right - this is some fiery sauce. I will admit, I was a little scared to try it. But once I did, the sinuses cleared. The head unfogged. Even the cough went away. Musta been burned out of me. And it's stayed out.

The salsa doesn't smell too intimidating, with an almost more chipotle kind of essence than anything else. It's almost enough to lull you into a false sense of safety, as the heat kicks up right from the first bite. It's not upfront - since it's refrigerated, the physical coolness of the salsa kinda tempers it a bit - but right as it's going down the hatch, the spice ramps up. Pure heat - enough to make you cough or have your eyes tear up. But the thing is, unlike some spicy fare, the heat doesn't seem to build and build with successive bites. Instead, it plateaus from the start - granted, a pretty high plateau. Which is a good thing, as it makes it much more snackable than the salsa would appear at first bite.

Aside from the habenero and ghost peppers, there's plenty to like. There's a very fresh feel to the salsa overall, almost as if it were almost homemade. It's not quite chunky, but not quite smooth either. There's some tomatoey sweetness and a little garlic and some other bits of flavor here and there, but even with the spice, it's not enough to completely overpower your food. That being said, I'd advise using sparingly.

Both Sandy and I enjoy the super hot salsa enough to make this a probable repeat purchase, especially if it can keep those cold symptoms at bay. Look for the tub in the refrigerated section, and if I recall correctly, it's about 3 bucks. Cheaper and tastier than DayQuil, for sure.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Extra Hot Habanero Ghost Pepper Salsa: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Boneless, Stuffed Pork Chops with Apple Almond Stuffing

"Impulse meat."

Yeah, those are some quasi-cringe worthy words...but that's exactly what Sandy and I had on our shopping list for TJ's the other night. What it meant was, we didn't want to dip once more into our Costco sausage stockpile or have chicken again or anything too ho-hum. Nah, we wanted something that looked good and sounded tasty and not in our normal rotation, something that our not-terribly-carnivorous would probably eat without much complaint. Something we could all enjoy.

Something, apparently, like Trader Joe's Boneless, Stuffed Pork Chops with Apple Almond Stuffing. Spotted. Acquired. Prepared. Consumed. Mmmm, impulse meat. At risk of sounding like that gravelly voiced Arby's guy, it's instinct.

And now, reviewed.

Easy enough to prepare, despite my demonstrably limited cooking talent. The instructions say to brown on each side before baking for 25 minutes. I, um, made the executive decision that they'd taste better a little blackened...yeah, that's it. No matter, the end product still tasted pretty great. the pork chops themselves were meaty and tender, and certainly weren't too tough or stringy. Aside from the natural goodness of the pork, there was a slightly sweet flavor, as if the chops were marinaded in some apple cider or something of the sort.

And, of course, stuffing on the inside. I'm not gonna stretch the truth a bit and say it's super high quality stuffing that Martha Stewart would sign off on. Decidedly, it's more on the Stove Top end of the spectrum. Doesn't mean it can't be tasty. Growing up, my mom would sometimes cut up apples and put them in Stove Top, other times raisins. So maybe it's more nostalgia then actual critical quality, but man, I liked it. The slivered almonds added small, earthy, crunchy bite that worked very well with the soft stuffing and meat.

It's $6.49 a pound, which isn't an awful deal. Our package seemed representative with two large medallions which were more than enough for the two of us and our girls. In all, they made for a good autumnal dinner alongside some squash mac and roasted Brussel sprouts. The stuffed chops might not be a regular buy, but for an impulse, not bad, not bad at all. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Boneless, Stuffed Pork Chops with Apple Almond Stuffing: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese

For a few months off and on now, we've been making a big deal of how versatile cauliflower can be. Who knew a vegetable I detested as a child could have so many tasty applications? Not me. Cauliflower has absolutely redeemed itself.

Now that it's fall...can we turn our attention to butternut squash?

Squash is something I hated as a kid. Don't know why, and can't recall ever really eating any growing up. I think it was one of those horrors I heard about from other kids, like not being allowed to watch The Simpsons or listen to MC Hammer, or even worse, being forced to go to dance recitals. Though I was stuck going to my older bro's marching band competitions. Blahh.

Anyways, back to squash. The past few autumns have featured some squashy-themed deals from our favorite grocery store (some good, some not), and this year has a new entry: Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese.

One word: Yummmmmmmmmmm. So much comfort going on here.

Everything about this dish screams "hearty." The rigatoni is big and reasonably firm for a frozen entree, and is kinda underrated, but enough about that. Let's talk that cheese sauce. It's really something else. Made with a holy trio of gouda, cheddar and parmesan cheeses, it's thick and creamy and oozes that comfort vibe. It's a hint smoky and ever so slightly sharp, and accented with some pepper and cayenne that add a small, welcome, savory kick. So good as is, I feel no need to add anything else to it. This TJ's mac is legit.

Almost makes me forget there's butternut squash pureed in to the sauce. Seems to add an extra hearty, earthy oomph, but the squash is otherwise unobtrusive overall. My kids had no idea it was in there.

It's $4.99 for the tray, which given the premium cheeses and whatnot involved, seems to be a reasonable value. It's easily enough for two folks in there. And all it takes is a few minutes in the microwave or oven, and a good stir to get that tasty sauce out everywhere. Convenient and comfy, this may be a fall freezer staple. Make room, cauliflower - you got some company.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Pumpkin & Roasted Pepitas Cookies

New coffee-flavored products, fruit preserves, and 85 degree heat in the northeast? What season is this anyway? Even the fall foliage is behind schedule. If this pattern keeps up, we'll be celebrating harvest time in December and all these corn mazes and hayrides will feature Santa Claus instead of scarecrows.

But enough complaining...for now, anyway. These cookies are decent enough snacks to curb my pumpkinsatiability into next week at least.

They're a lot like those gluten-free cookies we checked out last year, but with pumpkin spice instead of ginger...and gluten instead of...not gluten. If I weren't looking at the ingredients list right now, I might assume that this was rice flour instead of wheat. But I'd be wrong. Hey, there's a first time for everything. This is the crispiest wheat flour I've ever had.

Sonia thought the cookies were going to be salty and not necessarily sweet since, you know, pepitas tend to be present in salty stuff. But she was wrong. But that didn't surprise me since she's wrong all the time.

—At this time I should point out that I am very much JOKING about my wife being wrong since a good part of our readership is female. I, like all husbands, know that wives are NEVER wrong. I don't want to get on the wrong side of the Mommy Blogger Mafia.—

So yeah, like I was saying, these cookies are indeeed...well, cookies. So they're sweet, slightly buttery, and pumpkin spicy. When I eat more than two or three at once, I get the faintest warm tingly sensation at the back of my throat from the pumpkin spice. It's not altogether unpleasant, but it's a little unusual for a cookie. The pepitas add some extra crunch and a hint of nuttiness—but they don't even come close to being a dominant flavor.

If you like pumpkin spice and thin, crispy cookies, these should most definitely go on your shopping list. I'd love to try a soft version of this recipe some day. You'll pay $2.49 for a five ounce bag that your family will probably go through pretty quickly. Three and a half stars from me. Sonia gives them four.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee Chocolate Bar

Relax. Those stains on the packaging aren't real. Trader Joe's makes it look that way on purpose. Trust me, I wouldn't put a hot cuppa on this product for fear it would melt the chocolate. 

Have you seen "The Arrival," starring Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner? It's one of my favorites from last year's batch of Best Pic noms—even if it did have globalist undertones and subtle "I for one welcome our new alien overlord" themes. What can I say, I'm a sucker for sci-fi. Turns out these coffee stains are part of an intergalactic language used by weird "heptapod" creatures. For those of you not well-versed in this alien tongue, I'll translate the marking on the cover of this product. It reads: "BUY ME AND EAT ME NOW."

So we did.

And now we're having flashbacks to the spring. What? Have you forgotten about Coffeepalooza already? 

After missing sleep for approximately two and a half months, I finally returned to a normal 6-8 hour a night sleeping schedule, and here TJ's goes messing that up again...I thought we were doing pumpkin and apple stuff right now. Guess they forgot to pull this one out of the stockroom back in April, so here it is! Enjoy the wonders of insomnia once again, friends!

For all you coffee-cravers, I could see this $1.99 candy bar being a repeat purchase. Thankfully, I've developed a healthy fear of coffee products since the events of Coffeepalooza and I'll probably be able to stay far away from this item—especially with all the fun fall stuff to keep me busy.

According to the description on the product's packaging, both the chocolate and the caramel filling are infused with coffee. In the chocolate, it's more subtle I think. Sonia claims she can't even really taste coffee with the outer chocolate layer, but she does like the not-too-bitter dark chocolate they chose for it. I'd say there's a hint of something mocha-ish there, but I'll admit the filling boasts significantly more coffee taste.

I'm not sure if the coffee flavor in this chocolate bar is distinctly cold brew or if that's just the way they decided to market it since cold brew is "in" right now. Either way, it's a tasty chocolate bar. Sonia says it does have that unique, light cold brew essence—slightly smoother than traditional roasted coffee. Seems like she knows what she's talking about, so we'll go with that.

I'm not the biggest fan of coffee in the world, but just as I did during the days of Coffeepalooza, I'll try to project a score on behalf of all you coffee-lovers out there. We'll go with four out of five. Sonia concurs.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Apple Cider Caramels

There's lots of great stuff you can do with cider besides drink it straight. You can turn it into jam or tea or make apple cider donuts...Trader Joe's, we're looking at you, here. Why have we not seen Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts yet?

Nevermind. You've blessed us with apple cider caramels. And we're grateful.

But really, packaged like this, it's more of a novelty purchase than anything else. Four caramels for $1.99. One serving in the whole pack. What a tease you are, Joe. 

It's very much a check-out line, afterthought, "I need a little pick-me-up because my blood sugar's low" kind of buy. I guess it would make a nice birthday present for that person at work that you're fond of but don't really know that well. Or, for you singles out there, it might work as a first-date "Hey look, I'm a thoughtful guy but I'm not super weird and overbearing and showing up with a dozen roses yet" kind of gift. Or better yet, for you married folks, it would be the perfect "Hey look, I still think about you when I'm out and about and yet I'm wise and practical and don't spend a ton of money to prove it" kind of gesture.

And then in each of those cases, not only will you get the "Oh, s/he is so thoughtful" points, but once the recipient tastes the caramels, s/he will adore you all the more, because once again, TJ's—or some mysterious third-party vendor, as the case may be—nailed the essence of fall with a delectable, sweet, spicy apple cider product.

The outside is thick, high-quality dark chocolate, with a little white chocolate swirl on top for decoration. The inside is a very sweet caramel that distinctly tastes like apple cider. It doesn't taste much like traditional caramel at all. Anyone with a decent set of taste buds would easily recognize the flavor in a blind taste test. Not just apple. Apple cider. Yumtastic. Applicious. Ciderrific.

The two flavors play against each other in the best way possible. The dark chocolate lends a hint of bitterness, and even this white chocolate-lover wouldn't want this product with any other kind of chocolate, because the cider caramel filling is perfectly sweet by itself and needs the dark chocolate to balance it out. There are just enough cider spices to make this product unique. The flavor is intense in a way, but not at all overbearing.

All we ask is for a family-size box next year, so everybody can try one. Trust me, you'll pine for more when the little box is finished.

Double fours here.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Spicy Taco Sauce

You know what Trader Joe's Organic Spicy Taco Sauce would probably taste good on?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here...and say tacos. Just a wager, I suppose. Something tells me that idea just might have some merit.

Yup, here's a review of taco sauce not actually taste-tested on tacos. Not for lack of desire - tacos aren't just for Cinco de Maya and Tuesdays. They'd be everyday chow if I had my say. Not my fault TJ's came out with this on a non-taco designated week here. Or as I call them, only half-kiddingly, the Week of Sadness.

So for what offlabel purposes did we try spicy taco sauce?

Mostly, on eggs in the morning and stirred into our chili. Why not? Taco sauce is, after all, basically hot sauce. It's thicker, and with more base comes more flavor potential, yes, but really...it's slightly goopier hot sauce.

And ya know what? It works. Really, really well.

There's a lot more to the sauce than just flavor fuego. There's the heat, yes, but also smoke and sweet and tang. Taking a spoonful straight up is like a jousting competition - it's the vinegar then tomatoes then cumin and cayenne back to garlic then over to jalapenos. Another bite, and it'll be all jambled up a different way. It's great. Tasted awesome on the eggs, and since for the sake of our kids we have to make our chili pretty tame, once a good couple squirts got mixed in our bowls...almost perfect. I might have a new chili cheat. Bonus tip: Excellence of cornbread crisps when matched with chili: confirmed. I'd personally love to try the sauce on some homemade mac 'n cheese.

Lots of good stuff going on here. I can't even think of any real complaints. Some with a tamer tongue will probably find the TJ taco sauce too spicy, while those who are super-adventurous may wish it were even spicier...I will admit that the potency decreases somewhat when actually consumed with food. But for a storebrand hot sauce that wishes to be neither too wimpy nor too picante (and certainly not too vinegary!), the TJ's sauce straddles a near perfect line. For only a few bucks a bottle, it can make every night taco night. Even when it isn't.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Spicy taco Sauce: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Apple Cider Jam

Today's sign of the apocalypse: Russ reviewed a pumpkin item before I did, and I'm reviewing the first apple cider product of the year. 

But I certainly don't regret it. Because this stuff's deee-licious.

Yep. There's more to the tastes of fall than just pumpkin spice. And honestly, I was more eager to try this fascinating condiment than any of the new "Pumpkin Joe's" items I've seen so far. Haven't you heard? Apple cider jam is the new cookie butter.

My goodness. Where do I start? It's absolutely bursting with apple bits. Chunky style. It's still quite spreadable, but there's more than enough apple pieces to make it substantial. The syrup is sweet, but not overly so. And it actually tastes like cider, not just apples or apple juice. They really nailed the blend of fall spices if you ask me. Just the smell from the jar alone is enough to make you want to put on flannel and jump in a pile of autumn leaves.

Sonia says it reminds her of the filling in a McDonald's apple pie. Really, my love? I mean, sure, there are apple chunks and golden syrup in both cases, but I'd argue the quality here is head and shoulders above those cardboard-clad fast food confections. Plus, there's not a whole lot in the way of a spice blend there with the Golden Arches' offering.

She's also hung up on the price. $3.99 for a small jar does seem a bit steep. We're going through it fast. Like, it'll be gone somewhere between 24-48 hours after first opening it—which is both a testament to its delectability as well as its diminutiveness. Honestly, I could eat the stuff straight out of the jar with a spoon and be perfectly happy. But this jam really shines when served on toast with a little butter. It turns an ordinary slice of bread into a first-rate fall pastry.

Upon my initial taste, I was really thinking this spread was headed for the Pantheon. Sonia was slightly less enthused. She was torn between three and a half and four stars. I went ahead and selected four on her behalf. I'll throw out four and a half myself. 

Now I'm eagerly awaiting Pear Cinnamon Cider Jam and Honey Crisp Cider Jam.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Pumpkin Spice Granola Bark

It's mid September.....where's all the pumpkin spice!?!?!?!?

Seems to be a later debut this year for the everything pumpkin spice product glut that routinely churns out in the waning days of summer. It is still summer, technically...but seems like most years the yoga pant and Uggs-clad line at the Starbucks at Target is in its third week of being backed all the way up to the Taylor Swift albums by now. Gotta get those PSLs! Not so much this year...and that's alright by me. Never been a huge pumpkin spice guy, never will be, but will dabble some here and there when something intriguing pops up.

Something like Trader Joe's Organic Pumpkin Spice Granola Bark.

Trader Joe's is chief offender for pumpkin spice productopalooza. I mean, look at every pumpkin spice foodstuff we've reviewed...that's not exhaustive, despite the best efforts of the Rodgers clan and our little growing fam here in Western PA. It's gonna get worse this year, I'm positive, so might us well bite the bullet and get it started.

Better yet, I'll take another bite of the granola bark, please.

It's legitimately good. And serious. This isn't kid stuff or some pseudo-nutro Nature Valley type of deal. I mean, just take a look - big, thick, hefty squares of granola, tightly packed with rolled oats and pureed pumpkin, 75% enrobed in a respectably thick layer of 66% dark chocolate, then sprinkled with big ol' roasted pepitas. Each bite is dense, thick, stiff, chewy...don't be like me and accidentally swallow a small unchewed shard, cuz it HURTS. But the granola is very satisfying to gnaw on, and once it settles in your belly, it'll keep ya full.

Even the pumpkin spice accents are a nice touch. I finally figured out that it's the cloves that can make or break a pumpkin spice product - a little too much is way too much. Here, the cloves seem nicely balanced with the ginger and cinnamon and nutmeg to add a nice little warming glow to the otherwise slightly sweetened granola. Earthy oats and all, with a little maple syrup for sweetness, a little spice sprinkled in...it works, nicely. A little more cinnamon would be appreciated but not necessary.

The flaw, albeit minor, is the interplay of the dark chocolate and pumpkin spice. They've always seemed odd bedfellows...the two don't jive for me. Must be a popular enough combo for most folks, but it's a little confusing to my taste...is it supposed to be sweet or savory? The answer's probably both, but the two competing essences cancel enough of each other out to leave it somewhere in the middle.

Oh well. Sandy and I have enjoyed this purchase and I'm sure we'll pick it up a couple more times until pumpkin spice season goes back into hibernation in a couple months. For $3.99 for a respectable sized bag, it's not a bad deal. Good snack, and in a pinch could be used as a morning psuedo breakfast with some coffee and maybe some yogurt or an apple or something. Not bad for our first foray this year.

Bottom line: trader Joe's Organic Pumpkin Spice Granola Bark: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Curry Cauliflower Quinoa Salad

It's official. Cauliflower can join coffee, mango, pumpkin, and cookie butter as the fifth great love of Trader Joe. He's clearly got an obsession.

Cauliflower is a product that has proven its extreme versatility repeatedly, particularly in the past year—plus it's arguably the healthiest of "The Big Five." 

Quinoa is still working on its star status, but it has played some interesting roles in the past, too, generally as a supporting ingredient, but rarely a main attraction.

Curry is...well, curry is usually awesome...and this product is just another great example of its awesomeness.

Throw cauliflower, quinoa, and curry together, and you have this unique creation. I'm not sure why it works...or even if most of you will agree with me that it does. But I devoured this tub like it was going out of style.  Sorry. That's a really weak mixed metaphor. But yeah. I devoured the tub like it was...expiring soon...even though it wasn't. That's a better metaphor. But it sounds even dumber for some reason. You feel me, though? I loved this stuff.

There are a lot of calories in there, for what is essentially Indian-spiced rabbit food. But curry always packs a high calorie count. I guess I'd rather be eating curry powder and canola oil than some goofy trans fats, though. The quinoa and cauliflower were just so fresh and hearty that I just kept craving this salad over and over. It was very filling, and I think you could space this small tub out to even more than three servings, as suggested on the packaging, particularly if you're just having it as a side dish or a between-meal bite. It makes a great tide-me-over, pick-me-up type snack. If you're having it as a stand-alone meal, like for lunch or whatever, then three servings is probably too many to expect from the tub, however.

The curry isn't overpowering. It's there, but there's still plenty of room for the nuttiness of the quinoa and the caulifloweriness of the cauliflower to come through. What is that actually called—caulifloweriness? Gardeniness? Plantacularity? I don't know. But it tastes more like actual cauliflower than many of TJ's experimental cauliflower derivatives, and that's not a bad thing if you're okay with the taste of cauliflower.

Sonia thoroughly enjoyed it as well—like four and a half stars kind of enjoyment, her highest score in quite a while. Her only complaint is the price. $3.99 for the tub. It's not outrageous, but she thinks she can somehow approximate the mixture herself by purchasing quinoa, cauliflower, and curry individually. Seems like a lot of work to save a buck or so. But if you're so inclined, go for it, wifey.

I give it four stars. Again, I don't know if this will have the universal appeal that some other Trader Joe's cauliflower offerings have had—I'm guessing there will be a significant faction of haters on this one, but I'll go out on a limb and tell you that if you think it sounds good at all, you should probably give it a try.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Riced Cauliflower Stir Fry

Trader Joe's has cauliflower filling the shoes of rice, pizza crust, mashed potatoes, and burger patties, among other things. Here, it's reprising its classic ricey role, but this time, it's part of a complete stir fry meal—well, complete if you're fine eating stir fry sans meat, or even fake meat of any kind. Surprisingly, I was more than happy with it that way. Sonia was too.

Not only is it full of peas, corn, and peppers, but there's already a good bit of savory flavor thanks to the blend of tamari, onion, sesame oil, and ginger. I had to look up "tamari." In this case, it's soybeans, salt, and spirit vinegar. Then, I had to look up "spirit vinegar." Is it related to spirit gum? Is it really that close to Halloween? We haven't even started pumpkin pandemonium yet. Turns out it's a vinegar that's distilled from the ectoplasmic residue of ghosts and otherworldly beings. Oh, no wait. That's what I assumed it was before I looked it up...it's actually...well, here's the link I found. You can read it yourself if you're as culinarily ignorant as I am...ahem, was.

The blend of veggies is very well balanced against the base of riced cauliflower. In our case, each veggie was pristine, whole, and was extremely high quality in both taste and texture. The combo of seasonings is subtle, but goes a long way toward making this a stand-alone side dish. I wasn't even craving extra salt or pepper. There's something surprisingly addictive about this product. I mean, I thought the same thing about the riced cauli by itself, but this particular mixture is even more enjoyable in some ways.

We even tried adding it to some leftover food from the local Chinese place since we had run out of white rice. It worked surprisingly well with my Kung Pao Scallops. I'd be willing to bet it'd go just fine with less exotic selections like beef or chicken, too.

A normal bag of riced cauliflower will run you $1.99 at TJ's, and this offering costs exactly a dollar more. Couldn't you simply buy a bag of mixed veggies and stir it into a bag of riced cauliflower while altering the amount of veggies to suit your personal taste? Sure could. And it would probably cost about the same, or maybe even a little less. But as far as pre-mixed concoctions go, I can't imagine a much better blend—certainly not a blend with more universal appeal than this one. It seems pretty safe to me. If you like mixed vegetables and riced cauliflower, you're probably not gonna hate this.

Four stars a piece here.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Apple Banana Fruit Sauce Crushers

Sonia and I are thinking about having kids now that we know these little apple sauce pouches exist. We've been debating the pros and cons of procreating ever since we got married 8 years ago, and the debate always came down to:  "But think of how awful it will be when we pack our kid's lunch for school and we stick a little plastic cup of apple sauce in next to Johnny's sandwich and then we forget to put a spoon in the bag. He'll be taunted by his classmates ruthlessly—scarred for life, looking back on the day he had apple sauce smeared all over his face while striving in vain to lick the remaining sauce out of the cup with only his tongue."

"Also, I don't want to bring anyone into a world where apple banana sauce isn't a thing," Sonia would often interject as a closing thought to the conversation.

"Right, then it's settled," I'd say, as we'd both proceed to go about our child-free lives with clear consciences.

But of course this product shoots holes all through that argument. I mean, there's still the "I don't want my kids to grow up in a post-World War Three apocalyptic nuclear wasteland" argument, but that scenario has always seemed far-fetched compared to the "cup of apple sauce, no spoon" one.

Recently, I've seen these little squeezable apple sauce pouches everywhere. I guess it started with GoGo squeeZ, but now everybody and his brother has their own version—including, of course, Trader Joe. Just to be clear, we'll be reviewing the Trader Joe's version today—in case you didn't catch on to the theme of this blog...and all of our previous 1,030 reviews.

And honestly, this is the first squeezable apple sauce product I've ever tried, of any brand. So I won't really be able to compare it to any of the leading brands. I'm sure they're all quite similar. But I must point out at this juncture that this one is not only gluten-free (did anyone assume otherwise?) but organic and vegan as well. Eat your heart out, Amazon-owned Whole Foods stores with suddenly semi-reasonable prices.

These TJ's "crushers" are $2.69 for four, by the way. Not bad, considering how much packaging there is here. I know, I know, we're sacrificing a bit of "greenness" and cash for the sake of convenience—and the self-esteem of countless grade school children nation-wide.

Flavor-wise, it's a beautiful balance of bananas and apples, with apple shining through just slightly more prominently than its counterpart. I think I rather prefer the taste of this to plain apple sauce. Texture-wise, it's ever so slightly thicker than traditional apple sauce, by virtue of the pureed bananas. The pouch, with its little nozzle at one end, functions very well, and if you work at it for a minute, you can quite satisfactorily squeeze every last drop of the sauce out from the bag. Delightfully practical.

These would make great travel snacks for anyone, not just kids. They'd be great for hiking, camping, or even driving to work. We very well may purchase these again. There are a couple other flavors: Apple, Apple Strawberry, and Apple Carrot—any or all of which we may give a try.

Four stars from me, four stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mini Chicken Tikka Samosas

I've always been a fan of not only chicken tikka masala, but chicken tikka as well—basically just boneless chicken with tandoori spices. And overall, I've been super impressed with Trader Joe's Indian offerings throughout the years. Plus, I love me some samosa-type appetizers...so purchasing this new-to-me frozen noshable was a no-brainer. And I'm glad I did.

The shells came out of the oven flaky and crispy, if perhaps a tad greasy. No need for pan-frying these puppies—they provided more than enough oil of their own. Taste-wise, the dough was extremely pleasant and flavorful, not to mention structurally-sound for hand-held snacking straight off an hors d'oeuvre tray or...you know, right from the baking sheet if one were so inclined. Note: that structural integrity guarantee does not remain in effect if one were to, say, cut the appetizer in half with a fork to share with a friend, or to, perhaps, take a picture for a blog or Instagram or what have you. In fact, cutting these little triangular morsels caused most of the chicken tikka filling to squish out onto the plate, which brings me to my next point...

The chicken tikka filling was good, but it's extremely shredded, to the point where it's nearly liquefied...okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. I guess I'm trying to say I wouldn't have minded some actual chicken bits, but that's nitpicking on my part. 

Also, the flavor was pleasant, but it just wasn't intense enough for me. The Indian spices weren't as potent as other chicken tikka offerings I've had. There was just enough spice to tell that this was, indeed, an Indian-inspired appetizer—but no more than that. I like my Indian food to boast strong, spicy, vivid tastes. This was a much more mild flavor here.

Sonia didn't seem to mind it as much as I did, but she immediately pointed out that as good as the product was, in her opinion, it would have been much better with a sweet, spicy Indian chutney of some kind.

Even though I'm able to point out a few things that might be labeled as "flaws" in this product, it's still pretty dang snackable. The true test is how long the tray lasts in our household of two after it comes out of the oven. In this case, barely 15 minutes. It could have had something to do with the fact it was close to lunch time, but we can't score this too harshly based on that fact alone. Again, we're looking at twelve pieces for just about four dollars, so it's a pretty standard value we've been seeing at TJ's lately.

I'll throw out three and a half stars here. Sonia will spring for four.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cornbread Crisps

Somebody please explain the appeal of hot soup in the summer time to me.

In the fall when the leaves are turning and there's that cool crispness in the air? On a blustery cold wintry day? Even in the springtime, when it's not all that warm yet? Sure, soup to you on all those kinda days? But summer? Precisely what makes soup great on all those other kinda days is what makes soup awful for the summer - that warm, full, salty, brothy feeling in your stomach. That's the last thing I want when it's pushing the 90s for both degrees and humidity.

Yet I see people eat soup all summer long. Even when complaining how hot it is outside. Even when living in a 100 year old brick house with no AC. I don't get it.

Yet...I've never wanted to make a big ol' crock pot of chili or potato or chicken noodle soup in August like I do right now. All thanks to Trader Joe's Cornbread Crisps.

These better be around come autumn, or me and Big Joe will have some words. Serious words. These chips are all the classic comfort taste of high quality cornbread in a highly snackable form. If you have bad impulse control, you may want to avoid - there's some serious binge-eating potential here. Think cornbread, with it subtly earthy sweetness and salty, greasy vibe, mixed with a crumbly Wheat Thin, and that's about what we have here - but better. Crispy, crunchy, and light, but with every bit of cornbread essence, even down to the grittiness of cornmeal in the last bite or two. Delectable, delicious, delightful....devine even? Not that far of a stretch. At first it felt odd to make the Wheat thin comparison, but then I saw wheat flour was the first ingredient - apologies to the gluten-free crowd - so it's not too far off base.

These crisps are begging for soup to be crumbled atop. They'd be perfect alongside my chili. Sure, there's some other, much more summer friendly applications possible, like tossing in with a salad, eating straight, serving with some cheese, or even smushing some up to use as a pie crust. My only disappointment is that the crackers didn't match quite as well with either my family's new favorite fruit jam or my favorite store bought salsa as I would have hoped.

Definitely try them out, and maybe some stock up on some for when it's crockpot meal weather. Can't say there's much wrong. Double fours from the Mrs and me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cornbread Crisps: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons