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Monday, October 2, 2017

Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee Chocolate Bar

Relax. Those stains on the packaging aren't real. Trader Joe's makes it look that way on purpose. Trust me, I wouldn't put a hot cuppa on this product for fear it would melt the chocolate. 

Have you seen "The Arrival," starring Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner? It's one of my favorites from last year's batch of Best Pic noms—even if it did have globalist undertones and subtle "I for one welcome our new alien overlord" themes. What can I say, I'm a sucker for sci-fi. Turns out these coffee stains are part of an intergalactic language used by weird "heptapod" creatures. For those of you not well-versed in this alien tongue, I'll translate the marking on the cover of this product. It reads: "BUY ME AND EAT ME NOW."

So we did.

And now we're having flashbacks to the spring. What? Have you forgotten about Coffeepalooza already? 

After missing sleep for approximately two and a half months, I finally returned to a normal 6-8 hour a night sleeping schedule, and here TJ's goes messing that up again...I thought we were doing pumpkin and apple stuff right now. Guess they forgot to pull this one out of the stockroom back in April, so here it is! Enjoy the wonders of insomnia once again, friends!

For all you coffee-cravers, I could see this $1.99 candy bar being a repeat purchase. Thankfully, I've developed a healthy fear of coffee products since the events of Coffeepalooza and I'll probably be able to stay far away from this item—especially with all the fun fall stuff to keep me busy.

According to the description on the product's packaging, both the chocolate and the caramel filling are infused with coffee. In the chocolate, it's more subtle I think. Sonia claims she can't even really taste coffee with the outer chocolate layer, but she does like the not-too-bitter dark chocolate they chose for it. I'd say there's a hint of something mocha-ish there, but I'll admit the filling boasts significantly more coffee taste.

I'm not sure if the coffee flavor in this chocolate bar is distinctly cold brew or if that's just the way they decided to market it since cold brew is "in" right now. Either way, it's a tasty chocolate bar. Sonia says it does have that unique, light cold brew essence—slightly smoother than traditional roasted coffee. Seems like she knows what she's talking about, so we'll go with that.

I'm not the biggest fan of coffee in the world, but just as I did during the days of Coffeepalooza, I'll try to project a score on behalf of all you coffee-lovers out there. We'll go with four out of five. Sonia concurs.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.


  1. I wonder how it will be paired with a cup of coffee. YUM! Maybe they were developing it during coffee-mania.

  2. This looks like a fantastic kick in the pants snack for the late afternoon energy dip...! My only problem is that with filled chocolate bars it's not easy to rewrap and save some for later, i always end up with a sticky mess :/ i could probably find a coworker interested in sharing though!
    (The dk chocolate espresso beans are my go to right now)
    Please review the carrot curry cashew dip! I passed it up on my last trip but maybe that was a mistake...?

    1. I got the curry cashew carrot dip yesterday and I really like it. It has a slight zing of ginger that counteracts the sweetness of the carrot. It's not anywhere near a traditional flavor (for me anyway) but it is delicious.

  3. Replies
    1. Agree, I really like it. Seems like made by same guys that make the other filled bars with caramel. Very nice quality for $2. Flavor combo is perfect.

  4. Mine also had finely ground coffee on the outside of the bar, on the bottom.

  5. These taste great ... but I won't buy them again. If the squares are intended to break on the scoring marks, they fail every time. Which means the bar breaks in the middle of the filling, and end up making a mess all over your hands, and sometimes clothes, counters, furniture, etc. Messy! No thanks.


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