Trader Joe's Peanut and Crispy Noodle Salad Kit

Supposedly the whole point of a salad is to eat something light and healthy, right? Get a nice array of yummy, nutritious veggies in your system, like all those leafy greens your PCP is always telling you about. Salads are great. Salads are fun.

But the whole point of a salad isn't being healthy.

Nah, you're talking to a guy who lives in Pittsburgh, and you see what we do to salads here? That's a tame one.

Right, it's what goes on top that counts. Know anybody that actually really enjoys just eating plain romaine? Nah. I ate raw naked spinach for a while and you should have seen all the looks I got...and to be clear, it was the spinach that was laid bare, not myself. Nobody wants to see that.

Here's a perfect example: Trader Joe's Peanut and Crispy Noodle Salad Kit. Sounds great. Sounds...I don't know, as enticing as a salad can get? TJ's even emphasizes the fix-in's as the selling point in the name, which is a good thing if you look at the components.

I mean, just look. The whole base of the salad is the 100% routine, boring , generic cabbage/romaine/carrot mix that I swear makes up 95% of salads. It's like a stock photo come to life. Booooor-ing. Nothing wrong with it per se, except it is what it is which is all it's ever gonna be. Snooze.

So how can liven it up? Chopped peanuts? Well, okay...except those are kinda boring too. Nothing wrong, but nothing right. It's like a rerun watched too many times.

But then....crispy rice noodles! And peanut and lime dressing! Maybe there will be something worth writing home about here.

First off: the noodles. For some reason I expected chow mein type noodles, which was a completely flawed assumption on many levels. Instead, these are light, airy, tiny, airpopped Styrofoam-ish rice noodles that are remarkably crispy and crunchy for their size. There's not much taste to them by themselves, so naturally they absorb the flavor of whatever they're nearby, which really oughtta be...

The dressing. Almost every salad comes to the dressing. This peanut-lime take is pretty darn tasty. My lovely bride wanted to drench every inch of her salad with it and guzzle the rest from the packet...fortunately I stopped her. We've made similar sauces at home with peanut butter and soy sauce, but there's more here. Some different spices, and the Thai lime leaves are a real nice touch. I'm sold. It's another dressing that needs to be sold by itself, and there needs to be more of it in the salad if only we didn't have to squabble over the last few drips.

Pretty decent salad overall. Sandy and I had it as a lighter dinner the other night and were both pretty happy. It's not a bad deal at $3.99 and if you're looking for a new salad mix in this New Year, it might be tough to top this.

 Bottom line: Trader Joe's Peanut and Crispy Noodle Salad Kit: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's I Dream of Chocolate Cake

I made a New Year's resolution to eat way more chocolate cake in 2020, and by golly, I'm off to a good start. On New Year's Day, as I surveyed my frosty surroundings, I made the clutch decision to pull this Trader Joe's I Dream of Chocolate Cake out of our little freezer, thaw it, and eat it for lunch. Not after lunch, but for lunch. Sonia and I make our own hours, work from wherever we please, and gosh darnit if we want cake for lunch, we have it. Our actual resolution was about living life on our own terms, a la #fulltimetravel. Just kidding. I don't make New Year's resolutions. They're silly.

No, but seriously though if 2017 and 2018 were the worst years of my adult life, then 2019 was probably the best. We spent the year across 16 different states, saw a dozen national parks, monuments, and historical sites, and visited friends and family we haven't seen in years. I don't know what this year holds, or even if we'll be traveling, but I have a feeling it's going to be pretty special. For Sonia and me, that all starts with throwing caution and tradition to the wind—and doing things like eating chocolate cake for lunch on New Year's Day. Eat your heart out, pork and sauerkraut.

At this point I must confess that the whole chocolate on chocolate on chocolate thing isn't really my cup of tea in general, unless I have some kind of specific craving. I like chocolate cake as much as the next guy, but it takes something special to really wow me. I can't say this particular specimen completely blew me away, but it's pretty tasty nonetheless, not to mention uber-convenient. 

When I first tried the cake, I don't think it was fully thawed. The top layer in particular was reminiscent of chocolate ice cream, slightly melted. Even in subsequent servings, there was a creaminess there that still vaguely reminded me of chocolate ice cream rather than a typical chocolate frosting for a cake. It was extremely moist, including the inner cakey parts, almost to the point that it felt like pudding. It was dense, rich, and flavorful, and it tasted remarkably fresh for something so recently frozen.

$6.99 is reasonable for Trader Joe's I Dream of Chocolate Cake, I guess. There's enough cake in the box to provide dessert to a large family or a small party. It says six servings, but you could stretch it to more since it's so filling. Sonia gives it four stars. Chocoholics will like this even more than I do, and would probably score it very highly. I'll give it a thumbs up in the end, and about three and a half stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats

As I sit here in the early morning hours of New Years Eve 2019, eating some Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats, I can't help but think about life a little bit.

It's kinda like oatmeal, isn't it?

Sometimes it's pretty good, other times it can be a lot better. You gotta take your lumps and move on. Sometimes it's better to stir it up a little, other times it's best to let it be and wait.

And to relate a little further to these new(ish) overnight oats...it's definitely a little nutty, but overall sweet. It's perishable, so take proper care. And sometimes there's no shame in taking the easy, convenient route to get through whatever lies ahead of you, as long as you're prepared ahead of time.

Okay, enough of the life coaching....it's not like I'm some Ralph Marston-esque guru. I'm just a 37 year old dude who ate some oatmeal, dangit, and I stayed in my own bed last night, not at a Holiday Express. Let's talk oatmeal.

This particular overnight oats seems really heavy on the almond flavor, coming from the almond milk/beverage the oats were soaked in. If you're not an almond fan, keep away...but at least it's good almond flavor. If I had some actual nuts to sprinkle in, I would just to mix it up a bit. There's also a decent amount of vanilla to really sweeten up everything, too. No added sugar needed, and that comes from a sugar junkie. There is a bit of a sticky sweet aftertaste that lingers on, which abates quickly with a little coffee or fruit.

It was surprising to see dates on the ingredient list, because they're imperceptible in pretty much every way. I don't taste them and I don't feel them. Of course, as in real life, dates can be really sneaky...let's move on, please.

As one would expect, the TJ overnight oats are a bit cold and somewhat lumpy but not in a gross way. I'm not smart enough to know if it's okay to heat them up, as the package gave no microwave instructions. I don't see why not except for maybe moving the oats to a microwave safe dish.

Not bad for $1.99. The oats are decent enough quality and there's a lot of convenience here, which always comes at a premium. I'm not sure I'd stock up on them personally, but for my lovely bride and I, it probably wouldn't be bad to have a couple around for one of our trademark crazy mornings on the run. That's just life, all rolled up and ready to go, and it's not bad.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons