Trader Joe's Gluten Free Italian Panettone

Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't supposed to be born into a big Italian family. I'd never even heard of the Feast of the Seven Fishes until a couple days ago, after watching the 2018 indie film by the same name. Seven types of fish and seafood all on the same day? Yes, please. I like the way you Italians roll.

Likewise, I'm becoming more and more fond of the panettone each year, thanks mostly to Trader Joe's. This is the fifth type of panettone product we've reviewed on this blog, and I don't think I've disliked any of them. They're tasty, festive, and Christmassy. Look, you can even hang this one on your tree. It's an ornament and a snack all in one.

Like the other panettones I've tried, this one is made with soft, supple, lightly sweet, slightly buttery bread. But this one's gluten-free! Goodness. I'm almost always stating that Trader Joe's gf products taste great but have a weird texture. Not this one. The texture here is amazeballs. I probably wouldn't have even guessed it was gluten-free if I hadn't known any better.

There's a good bit of packaging around the product. Maybe it's overkill, but it keeps the bread remarkably fresh. There's the decorative outer cardboard box, then there's a cellophane wrapper within, and finally, there's a cupcake-esque muffin liner on the bottom and sides of the panettone.

The product is spongy and pleasantly moist. The bread alone would make a great little treat, but there are "golden raisins" and teensy bits of candied orange peel scattered throughout the loaf to make it even more interesting. The sweetness level is probably on par with a breakfast muffin, rather than a dessert like cake or cupcakes. In fact I had my panettone for my breakfast yesterday, and it was the perfect size and density to serve as a morning meal.

At $1.99, it's plenty affordable. If you've got anybody with a gluten-free diet on your Christmas list, this product has Sonia's seal of approval and mine as well. The original glutenful version is still available, but the taste and texture of this one doesn't suffer much if at all for want of wheat or gluten. Four Christmas stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Grainless Cassava & Coconut Tortilla Chips and Trader Joe's Romesco Dip

Probably like a lot of you, a lot went by the wayside this year for us. Vacation? Nah. Day trips to Idlewild, our designated family happy space? Season pass went unused. Schools are still not back to "normal," whatever that means any more, and I spend at least half the week in pajamas because when you start work no later than 5am in your own basement, that's a perfectly acceptable dress code. As opposed to the one time on the weekend at the office, where wearing PJs with a couple work buddies raised some eyebrows but no HR complaints, thank goodness. 

It's been a weird year, to put it mildly. 

One traditional holdover, though, that has not quit nor will it ever is the idea of having a family "snacky dinner" as we call it. it's up there with our Friday night jammie/movie/pizza nights in terms of favorites. Simple enough - get some cold cuts, cheeses, olives, pickles, chips, dips, hummus, veggies, fruits, whatever and we all pick at whatever we want to do for dinner. Nobody has to eat anything they don't want to, as long as they hit the major food groups. It's terrific, and we're always on the look out for new/new-to-us components. 

So, while on a trip for snacky supplies and I saw Trader Joe's Grainless Cassava & Coconut Tortilla Chips and also Trader Joe's Romesco Dip, it was a no-brainer for something new to chew. 

Let's start with the chips. If anything, I'm impressed by how normal they are, as there seems like a lot going on from the bag's description. No grains. Cassava, which is kinda like a potato but not quite, and coconut, fried in avocado oil, with some white pepper and garlic. No flour. No corn. None of the "normal" comforts of a typical tortilla chip. But yet, in an eyes-closed test, they might almost pass as near-variant of a usual tortilla instead of a complete reinvention. The biggest difference, naturally, is the texture - a tad crunchier, a wee less crispier, and more of a dry to "sandy" feel to them. Without knowing too much different and if unaware of ingredients, I'd guess they might be baked, because there's much more that feel. The flavor by themselves isn't awful but not terrific either - there's just something about white pepper that makes things taste off to me. Maybe that's my lack of sophistication more than anything else. Regardless, the flavor quickly disappears when dipped into most anything if that's what you wanna do...

...and you just might wanna do it with the TJ's Romesco Dip. Granted, cassava chips likely aren't a traditional use of romesco - there's likely a Catalonian fisherman somewhere rolling his eyes - but that doesn't mean they can't be snacky buddies. This is some pretty dang good stuff. The base is mainly roasted red bell pepper and tomatoes which add a little sweetness but are tamed in by the olive oil/almond butter base, with some ground almonds in there to boot. The mouthfeel isn't offputting in the least - it's a bit soupier and softly grittier than hummus, but along those lines - but works exceptionally well. With some crushed chili pepper mixed in, there's the smidgiest smidge of heat, but the whole feel is warm, hearty, zesty and glowing, not spicy. Just...flavor. Lots of it. Lots and lots of yummy flavor, and it was an instant hit. I'm glad I got more than bite or two. 

Of course, there's plenty of ways to enjoy these chips and/or the dip. For the chippies, eat 'em plain if thats your thing, nab some nachos, grab some guac, swim 'em in salsa, whatever. It's a tortilla chip, it'll work. The romesco strikes me as very versatile - though I haven't tried it this way, I'd imagine with grilled fish or chicken, or with a little pasta, it'd be great! Always open to ideas you can leave in the comments as well.  

So yeah. Big thanks to TJ's for another snacky dinner success and a couple new usual snack time rotation members. The purchase price wasn't bad  on either but regretfully I once again misplaced the receipt. One of these times I'll actually remember to stick it to the fridge. Both will be repeat buys but as a fam we're all more ecstatic about the romesco dip as you'll see in our scores below. 

Bottom lines: Trader Joe's Grainless Cassava & Coconut Tortilla Chips: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons. Trader Joe's Romesco Dip: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

 

Trader Joe's Organic Jalapeño Seasoned Corn & Rice Puffs

"If you want any of these, you have to take them away from me right now. Otherwise, I will eat them all and this is all we have left until next trip."

Actual words spoken the other morning by me, to my lovely bride, as she came down to my basement office for a quick minute to chitchat about something. It was maybe 10am at the latest, and I was speaking in reference to the veritable Everestesque mound of Trader Joe's Jalapeño Seasoned Corn & Rice Puffs I had in a bowl on my desk. It was already my second nosh sesh of the day on these new snackers, and unlike everything on my plate at work, I was gonna get this done pretty easily. 

"Meh," she said as she grabbed a couple and walked away.

Well, there you have it. Two different takes summed up anecdotally there. 

As you mighta guessed, I have a new addition to the my evergrowing "shouldn't-buy-will-devour" list of snacks and junk food. There isn't anything magic to these puffs...except there is. I can't rationalize precisely what it is. 

Maybe it's the crunch. It's that super light, crunchy, crispy, not too crumbly, not too hard mouthfeel that invites bite after bite with ease. There's no hint of graininess, which was an initial concern given corn, rice and quinoa in these guys somehow - whereas sometimes that can be a bit hodge-podgey, the bite here is seamless and smooth. I never would've guessed quinoa, even though these aren't my first puffy quinoa snack. It's...different, in a very good way. 

Maybe it's the seasoning. I love it and can't get enough. Predominantly jalapeño, there's also a little garlic and onion in there that add a good better-than-garden-variety spice punch that plays well off the puff. Some puffs have much more seasoning than others, which is fine. The first bite or two, the spice hits hard, but it dampens a bit as the taste buds acclimate until it sneaky-sneaks up from behind to hit full force, kinda like how the sour from Sour Patch Kids can hit in a similar pattern. There's also a little hint of sugar that adds a little balancing. Love it, and it's neither too dusty or greasy or anything (thinking of you, Cheetos). It's just there and delicious.

Maybe...it's just everything else. Earlier on up I referred to these TJ snackers as "junk food" and, well, that might not be entirely fair. It's not like I'd classify them as "healthy" but take a look at the nutritionals - it could be a lot worse. Aside from the sodium, eating an entire bag (which I neither advocate nor deny that I have done myself) won't completely kill your day, and even then the salt isn't as bad as other bagged snacks, so take that for what it is. Organic and gluten free to boot. C'mon, what's not to like here?

And yes, I ate these in the morning. It's corn and rice puffs. Sounds close enough to cereal to me.  

Sandy likes them but isn't an addict like me. That's likely a good thing, we don't need a turf war in the kitchen and our own secret stashes. A bag's only like $2. Seriously, try 'em out. I can't recommend enough and give 'em a perfecto, whereas my wife's more down to earth on 'em with a 3.5.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Jalapeño Seasoned Corn & Rice Puffs: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

  

Trader Joe's Brazilian Style Cheese Bread

Over these past few crazy months, I've come to realize that a quality metric I use to judge how my day is going is how much I play Candy Crush on my phone. That's kinda my default "bored, don't feel motivated, nothing else going on" thing to do, so needless to say, the more Candy Crush I play on a given day, the usually more kinda blah day it is. And i won't say what level I'm on, but there's four digits and the first one is kinda curvy. So yeah, not so great these past few months. 

My lovely bride also plays a fair amount of Candy Crush, but apparently also likes some other game called Kitchen Craze or something along those lines. I'm not sure of the point of the game - seems even more arbitrary than matching three same colored candies to make stuff go boom - but when playing she'll tap to cook stuff, serve customers, do dishes, deal with crappy tips. I guess you try not to burn stuff and run some sort of functional restaurant and serve all sorts of food, including some Brazilian-inspired cheese rolls which I had no other frame of reference for until picking up Trader Joe's Brazilian Style Cheese Bread.

There's more involved to prepping them than just tapping your smartphone screen. Of course, we'll see how that comment ages over the next decade or so... but anyways. A frozen dozen comes boxed up and ready to plop on a baking sheet, just heat at 350 degrees for a few minutes, and done. You can even crush some candies while doing so if you want. 

Oddly, I'm in the minority of my family for the TJ's Brazilian cheese bread. Everyone else loves them, Both Sandy and our verifiable troop of kiddos gobbled them down for lunch the other day, yumming and oohing and aahing. Our five year old also made her own PB&J's with them, which strikes me as fairly weird but she was happy. But me? Ehhhhhhh....

There's just this odd taste to them that develops about midway thru your third bite. I'm not sure how to explain it. But it's kinda funky and bitter and dour and not exactly gag inducing, but is kinda unwelcome. Sandy posits it has something to do with how the tapioca flour and Parmesan interplay. Maybe, but I side with it being more towards eggs and white pepper that seem off. Maybe it's all four of them, maybe just three, maybe she's just right (as usual)...but still. It's just when I would expect the flavor to start going towards warmy carby cheesy comfort, I instead get a mouthful of questions. 

It's kinda a shame. Otherwise these are some pretty tasty treats. The first few bites, before that funk comes into play, are on point with its doughy Parmesan taste. If every bite tasted like the first few, I could probably nosh on these all day. Each piece is roughly golf ball sized, and when baked have a slightly crispy, not greasy exterior that quickly gives way to a soft, chewy inside. There's so much Parmesan around too that's impossible to get a bite without any, even if you tried. These are some excellent bites in that regard, I just wish they stayed that way. Maybe if I had some sauce to dip them in, I'd like 'em better. 

Since everyone else loved them and they're at a reasonable price ($3 to $4) I'm thinking it'll be a likely repurchase despite my misgivings. I mean, whatever works these days, right? Even if I won't be the one crushing them. Meh. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Brazilian Style Cheese Bread: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's No Bake Nut Butter Bar Mix

In addition to 80's movies, I'm also an appreciator of fine post-apocalyptic cinema—not just influential films like The Road and Mad Max, but lesser known indie flicks like Diani & Devine Meet the Apocalypse, Light of My Life, and EMP 333 Days. Speaking of EMP's, you could theoretically make these treats even after a massive electromagnetic pulse. No bake! I love it.

I mean, sure, they want you to put the mix in the freezer for 20 minutes to let it coagulate for a spell. But if it's winter time, you could just put the pan outside for a while to achieve the same effect. Also, some of you might argue that you'll still have the ability to bake in such a situation since gas lines will still function after an EMP. Sure, that will be true for a time, but unfortunately a long term grid failure will mean losing natural gas and running water soon after the electricity goes out.

But if you thought ahead, you'll still be snacking on Trader Joe's No Bake Nut Butter Bars. What a luxury these will be in the Apocalypse. Nut butters, honey, and maple syrup are all great things to stock up on.

The recipe calls for a cup of any nut butter of your choice and half a cup of either honey or maple syrup, along with the included mix. I used peanut butter and honey, probably the least exotic combo possible, but also quite possibly the safest. 

It turned out surprisingly well. I used chunky pb, which might have thrown off the intended solid to liquid ratio and made my mixture a little less viscous than it was intended to be. I found it hard to coat all of the mix with my pb/honey blend.

But they came out super crunchy, which Sonia and I both loved. The honey was more than adequate as a sweetener, and the mix added even more nuttiness to the flavor. Peanut butter was still the dominant flavor, but the almond, oats, and rice from the base could still be detected in the background. My favorite part of the Trader Joe's mix were tiny little spheres of what I assume are puffed rice..? They moved the texture even further in the direction of "bar," rather than "wad of edible Play-Doh," and added a crispness that's very pleasant.

Sonia seemed a little more captivated by the finished bars than I was. She thinks she'll make another batch with almond butter and maple syrup very soon. I'm sure they'll be at least as good as the first batch.

$3.49 for the mix. Will most likely be a repeat purchase. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Jicama Wraps

Time in 2020 seems different than time in any other year I've been around for. Literally, it seems that this year has been going on for years. My lovely bride and i were reminiscing the other day about a trip she took back in February, so a little over six months ago...which seems more like six years ago at this point. We both couldn't believe it.

So, listen, I have no idea when Trader Joe's Jicama Wraps debuted in stores this year. None. Zip. Nada. All I know is I heard and saw the buzz all over the place for them...and when we went to our local TJ's here in good ol' Pittsburgh PA USA...they weren't ever there. It wasn't even a popularity deal, it was more they couldn't even be ordered for who knows what reason. We're always among the last to get anything here, so I've been waiting to try these for what it seems forever...or has it been maybe three weeks max? Two months? Since yesterday? Yanked from the future? I have no idea.

I also had no idea that jicama could be used in this way, as basically a tuber-tilla. Don't know what that is? I just made it up, so I didn't until 10 seconds ago either. It's a tortilla made from just a tuber (root plants like potatoes) and nothing else, and these TJ's jicama wraps may have invented the genre. Nothing added. Nothing obviously subtracted. All these wraps are is precisely as the package states: thinly, almost translucently, sliced jicama. The roughly four inch tubertacular discs are easily rollable and bendable, not so much foldable, sliceable, and are sturdy enough to hold a small taco together while not being quite big enough to hold a lot.

They're also pretty wet, which makes sense, but could be a turnoff for some. And other than that, it's just jicama. With a slight apple-like crispness and a mild sweetness, if you're tired of the same ol' tortillas or just want a low carb alternative that's not a lettuce wrap, go for it! I made a quick lunch yesterday with some leftover chicken, shredded cheese, and salsa, and it worked great. The jicama added a freshness without interfering with any other flavors.

I briefly considered making a quesadilla with them, to see how they'd cook up, but got scared off by the notion of potentially having to scrape burned up jicama off my decrepit frying pan. It's on its last legs as is, I don't need to speed it along. But the package says they're good for quesadillas...so did any of you try that? If so, how'd it go?

Pricepoint on these guys is about $4 for the dozen of them. Seems fair, maybe, I guess. Personally, I wouldn't drop any more than that on a regular basis for these guys, but maybe I'm just being cheap again. I like 'em, so does the fam who were brave enough to try them. There's a definite plus for the novelty, innovation and execution, but in the ned, it's still just thinly sliced jicama so I'm not sure how far we can really go here. Double fours? Sure.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Jicama Wraps: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Protein Muffins

Mornings can be tough, especially these past few months. Wake up after another hot summer night to a hot summer day, doing the same thing all over again because what else can you do? There's no end in sight to it either, like it's some sort of strange bizarro Groundhog Day realm we're stuck in.

It doesn't help that both Sandy and I are dabbling with intermittent fasting, as it seems the trendy thing to do these days, although with somewhat mixed results. And our kids have taken on the habit of not eating all that much dinner most nights, so needless to say, when it's time for my lovely bride and I to start eating for the day around 10:30am, we're hungry, and the kids are clamoring for an early elevensies after second breakfast wore off, and sometimes a little mix up is nice. You know, to keep it lively....or something.

I guess that's why we've been giving Trader Joe's Protein Muffins the ol' college try. As you can see, at present there are two varieties, Dark Chocolate and Maple. They're both similar in concept and ingredients - cassava and almond flour base, some coconut flour tossed in, milk protein isolate (as appetizing as that sounds), egg powder (very appetizing) and a few more things to round it all out. It's a powder in the cup, add a little water, stir like mad, nuke for a minute, and voila! It's a warm spongy muffinesque thing in a cup ! Now that sounds most appetizing of all!

Truth be told, I'm surprised by how decent both varieties are. There's nothing too "weird" about either one, and neither put off overwhelmingly healthy vibes. I can tell this is true by how my kids were fighting over the last couple teeny bites - if there was anything "off" about them in the slightest, they'd detect it.

The dark chocolate, also surprisingly, was the winner in our house, for kids and grownups. The chocolate isn't that  dark, but offers a respectable richness without being overly sweet. The real winning bit is there's a small handful of chocolate chips sprinkles in that got a little melty but still have some bite - you get one of those, you've won! It's really, and again pretty surprisingly, good. i'd eat 'em again for sure.

As for the maple, think of a pancake that absorbed a bunch of maple syrup. That's how this muffins feels and tastes. Good? Absolutely! But for a muffin, it's missing something, like it needs one more ingredient. Personally I'd love a few pecans in there, that'd make them killer. The chocolate version had the chips to bite into, the maple one has....nothing. Good maple, though, which is always a winner in my book so I judge not too harshly lest I be judged. Maybe I'll supply my own nuts next time.

Make out of the nutritionals what you will. As is par for the course, both have a lot of fat, a surprisingly high amount of sodium, a large chunk of your daily cholesterol. Gluten free, if that's a plus for you. Sandy said the protein muffins were better than giving our kids a straight up sugar bomb to eat...likely true, but yeah, there's a lot of that too. On the plus side they certainly quelled our hunger for a couple hours, and they go well with a cup of coffee. I'm hoping the muffins will stick around for a while into the fall and winter where they could be a good warm yo'self treat then too.

$1.99 each. Maybe that's a good price? Sorry, not in the microwavable single use cup protein muffin market much these days aside from TJ's. Will likely buy 'em again...and again...and again...just like everything else this summer. Again.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Protein Muffins: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Maple Protein Muffins: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Everything but the Gluten Crackers

"Crackers" really isn't the first word that would come to mind upon sampling one of the new Trader Joe's Everything but the Gluten Crackers. There's nothing about it that conjures up the classic "cracker" prototype in my head, which admittedly looks pretty much like a round Ritz. I'm sorry, it's just the way I was raised.

My lovely bride agrees, though, so I can't be too far off. But she fully embraces the second descriptive title, "Norwegian crispbread." Ugh. "Crispbread." She says that's a different kinda deal than a cracker, which I can get aboard with, but I just don't like how it sounds. Too fancy schmancy.

Yet I have no other ideas what to call these thumbsized tombstone shaped thingies. "People suet" sounds wrong too, although it's about the closest with all those seeds. So I guess crackers it is. I digress.

Dear goodness, there's a bunch of seeds, namely sunflower and sesame. If you're familiar with sesame sticks as a snack, these guys are pretty similar tasting, except maybe crunchier. Some oatflake bits, quinoa flour and corn flour kinda hold it all together and add an extra crumbly crunch. Upfront the taste is all earthy seeds, all the time, especially the sesame, but what lingers is the garlic. It's not a lot of garlic - nothing too roasty and boasty - but it's kinda that sneaky type that develops only after a couple chews but then just stays...and stays...and stays. Not in an unpleasant way, mind you, but it's absolutely there.

All that being said, pretty much everyone in the family loves these TJ's gluten free snackies. We've been chewing them down just straight, but man, they'd be awesome with a variety of dips or toppers. Sharp cheddar? Hummus? Cream cheese? Salsa? A little nut butter of some type? Yes, to all of those. Hmm, maybe they are more crackery than I give them credit for. And for $2.99 for the package, they've already been repeat purchases here...and we're not gluten sensitive folks in the least. Double fours!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Everything but the Gluten Crackers: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookie Baking Mix

"Let's see...something Eastery. Something...Good Friday-ish...? What do people eat on Easter? Rabbit. Oh, no wait. Ham. But we don't eat ham...

Um...how about candy? No Trader Joe's candy. D'oh! Something else that's sweet...ah, here in the back of the pantry drawer: Trader Joe's Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookie Baking Mix.

I'll make up some nonsense about people giving up wheat flour for Lent and this will totally work."

That was my train of thought in selecting this particular product for today's review. Maybe you did give up wheat flour or gluten for Lent and you tried this product recently. Maybe you gave up animal products and made it the vegan way. I don't know. I think we'll try it with cow's milk because we actually have some on hand right now.

I'm not the most culinarily-inclined guy on the block, so wish me well. I'll see you back here after the cookies are done baking.

---45 minutes later---

Okay, we're back. Mission accomplished. I'd call it a success in my book, with only a few minor mishaps. 

First step: mix the powder, butter, and vanilla in a bowl, then stir in milk one cup at a time. So far, so good.

I've always loved cookie dough, so during this process I seized the opportunity to lick some of the batter out of the mixing bowl. It was super almondy, but oh-so-good. The biggest difference between the batter and the finished product is that the cookies themselves tasted way less like almond. They were extremely similar to traditional wheat flour cookies. The nuttiness that I found so prevalent in the batter is just faintly noticeable after heating.

Technically, the baking process is only 10 minutes long. I left ours in the oven for about 5 extra minutes. They wanted to be very mushy at the short end of the baking spectrum and verging on too crispy at the long end, but they were very tasty in every case. 

Sonia said they reminded her of some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies she used to get in middle school. These cookies she referred to were wheat-flour cookies, so there again, the taste of the almond flour is very similar to regular glutentastic flour.

There's a respectable amount of chocolate chips in the mix. They're not large. Just tiny morsels. The only sugar in the flour is "coconut sugar" and the chips have some cane sugar. None of that seemed to affect the flavor much. They just tasted like very good, normal, fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, with just a hint of extra nuttiness and perhaps a whisper of "grittiness" for lack of a better word. 

$4.99 for enough mix to make 12 cookies. Gluten-free. They can be vegan, too, if you use alternative milk and oil instead of butter. 

This is set to be one of the weirdest Easters ever. Hope you're all staying sane.  

Four and a half stars from Sonia on Trader Joe's Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookie Baking Mix. Four from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Pizza Dough

So, what kinda pizza crust do you prefer?

Thin, airy, crispy, and crackery? Delicious.

That thin but incredibly flexible New York style, that somehow hold everything together though it defies logic? Noooommmmm.

Deep dish, with some burned edges, with a required tenacity to chew and chomp? Thinking about you, Chicago and Detroit. Oh goodness yes.

That typical cardboard stuff for half the freezer pizzas out there? Yeah, not so much.

My preference? When I was young, I asked my grandma which grandkid was her favorite. She simply replied "Whichever one I'm looking at." Similarly, my favorite pizza crust is generally the one I am eating, unless it's one of those aformentioned frozen pies that I wish were something else.

Well, the other night, for the first time and at the urging of the good peeps at the North Hills/McCandless Crossing (Pittsburgh) store, I had Trader Joe's Gluten Free Pizza Dough.

As you can see by the second photo, my lovely bride and I cheated a bit by making breadsticks with the dough to go alongside oour pasta dinner. Mmm, carbs with carbs. It's a successful enough business model for both Olive Garden and Panera, so don't judge.

Still...surprisingly, it worked. Texture and moutfeel is huge for dough, and gluten free stuff can miss the mark. Not so much here, on one condition: if you can be open to slightly chewy dough. That'd be the best word. Nah, it wasn't quite rubbery, and the edges that got hit with a little extra EVOO did get a litle toasty and crunchy, but really, the main feel was chewy, in a way that worked.

Other than that, this TJ's gluten free dough didn't particularly stand out in any way. That's kinda compliment, in its own way. The taste seemed right on, enough that I wouldn't have necessarily guess gluten free if I didn't know it was. Plain yet comforting. I like it.

The main ingedients are tapioca and rice. Well, that explains the chewiness a bit. A bit plain, for sure - a litlte rosemary or herb wouldn't be uncalled for, but not everyone likes that kinda deal either. The dough was simple enough to work with as well - it took a bit to flatten down and I have my doubts whether or not it's make a full 12 inch circle like the directions say it will. However, I didn't allow for ther full 30 minute warm to room temp time either, cuz man, on weeknights, who's got THAT kinda time? I sure don't.

Good dough, and good call from the peeps at my favorite TJ's. Overall I like this dough much better than the cauliflower crust kinda dealie TJ has. I'm not sure I could make it my everytime go-to pizza dough, but it can be in the rotation for sure. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Gluten Free Pizza Dough: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Soft-Baked Snickerdoodles

Sometimes, there's just the easy choices.

For Career Day at my daughter's school, I could either talk about my fulltime day job - insurance verifications and authorizations for a medical equipment company. It's good enough work, for sure, but, well, kinda talking about it even bores me.

Or....I could talk about this here fine blog you're now reading and win them over with a treat.

Clear choice. Cookies always win.

Of course, since it's kids with any myriad of food allergies or senstivities, and you don't want to leave anyone out, gotta make sure you have something easy, safe and tasty for everyone. On recommendation from Debi, another great member of the crew at the McCandless Crossing / North Hills store, I picked up several boxes of Trader Joe's Soft Baked Snickerdoodles. Look at them...if you're allergic to anything in there, I'm sorry, I can't help you. Easy choice.

And here's yet another one: would you rather have me do a full usual review, which Nathan covered admirably well in our blog's fledgling stage...or hear what all those pretty awesome second graders had to say?

Right, I figured. So here we go, actual student quotes. No names or anything for privacy's sake. But all are accurate. Here we go, with occasional commentary by me.

Me: "Everyone, you know how grownups are always right, right?" Mixed response ensues. "Well, plenty of grownups have told me how good these cookies are, but here's a chance for anyone to say what they did or did not like about these cookies!"

The Good

"They're really good. They taste like they have cinnamon in them."

"I like everything about them, especially the cinnamon."

"It was delicious because of the cinnamon."

"I liked the chewy texture. I liked that it was a chewy cookie."

"I liked that they were soft and squishy. I don't like hard cookies."

"I can taste the pumpkin in it."

Apparently we hit a home run with the cinnamon fans! And no, there's no pumpkins in the cookies, but there is kinda a mild pumpin pie spice vibe to them, so I get where that student was coming from.

The Mixed 

"There's a little bit too much cinnamon" said one student, to which his friend immediately replied "You can never have too much cinnamon!"

"I would say it's a little bit good and a little bad because the only thing I can taste is cinnamon."

"It's a little bit bad because there's too much sweetness."

"I liked it but it tasted kinda sandy."

Fixated on the cinnamon still, apparently. Sweet and sandy? Sounds like my lovely bride!

The Bad

"I don't like them at all. Too much sugar!"

"The cookie made my throat hurt."

The "too much sugar" comment came from a student dressed up as a baker. I'll assume that she knows her stuff. There was no elaboration on the throat comment, but perhaps that was to say they were a bit dry. Agreed, some milk would pair nicely.

Special Bonus Quote from the School Nurse while Reviewing Ingredients for Any Possible Allergens

"Well, if they don't have any of that stuff in there, what is in here? Hmm, dates, flaxseed, sorghum...yeah, these will make ya have to go. Ooh, rosemary too? In a cookie? That's...unusual. But nice. Yeah, these will be fine."

There we have it. Most comments and insights aligned pretty closely to all the good comments, and when asked for Golden Spoon grading, nearly everyone wanted to give them a perfect ten. That's pretty overwhelming. A few wanted to go lower, with the lowest from the future baker who said she'd only give them a four. A four?!?! She must make really good cookies then.

All around winner and a fun day back in second grade.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Soft Baked Snickerdoodles: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons
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Special thanks to Debi, Marlin and the entire crew at the McCandless Crossing/North Hills Pittsburgh TJ's location for their kind donation of the cookies. Once again, the best thing at Trader Joe's is absolutely the crew! You all are the reason why we come back. 

Also special thanks to the teachers and administration of my daughter's school for allowing me to come in and have in a great time in the classroom!

Trader Joe's Scalloped Potato Chips

Well, here's a pic of a rare sight: a full bag of chips in our household.

That's a rarity because a) We next to never buy chips because 2) When we do they get opened and inhaled almost immediately which leads to d) deep, deep disppointment from my lovely bride and darling kiddos as they get left in the crumby wake of my work. Yes, I'm talking about me. I'm a chip monster for whom there is little hope except avoid, avoid, avoid. Love chips. Can't help it, can only hope to manage it.

Such is much the same with Trader Joe's Scalloped Potato Chips. I'm guilty of eating nearly the whole dang thing myself. It's not my fault, it's Sandy's for buying them. She knew what she was getting into.

Cheesy scalloped potatoes is such an obvious taste choice for a chip. Why is it that I didn't think of it first? And maybe this is my ignorance, but I'm unaware of any other "scalloped" flavor for chips out there.

It's not the flavor that draws me in. Don't get me wrong, the five-pronged throng of cheese tastes mighty fine with no complaints. I wish when it come to cheese blends I could differentiate them better, like to say here, I taste the points of parmesan, the charge of the cheddar, the accents of asiago tinged with romantic flourishes of romano, and, well, provolone. Hooray provolone. Yippee. I just can't, not in general, and not here. It's certainly a complex enough taste to be appreciated though, that much I can say. There's a little garlic, salt and spices mixed in, as would be expected, but the cheese blend really takes the center stage.

Nah, it's really the feel and the crunch of these scalloped chips. The chips seem a little extra thick and crunchy, but not in a kettle-cooked kinda way. Nah. They're a little extra hard and crunchy for sure but not overly greast. I can't recall another chip that felt much like these.

I like 'em, I like 'em enough to know I should probably avoid them as I do most other chips. Sandy, who scowled as she reminded me she had less than a full serving, stated much the same as I did. Yumz, good chips. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Scalloped Potato Chips: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Organic Acai Bowl

I've rambled on before about how I'm a fan of acai and I used to down multiple acai smoothies every week. The smoothie joints I frequented sold acai bowls, too, but I always stuck to smoothies for a number of reasons, most notably that the bowls were a little pricier—in the ballpark of $7 a pop.

So at $3.99, this selection was a bargain. It had a good mix of the acai base, berries, and granola topping. Fruit-wise, there were lots of big strawberry slices, nice plump whole blueberries, but I didn't notice as many banana slices in my bowl. They were far and few between, and I wouldn't have minded a good bit more of them. There was, however, plenty of granola for my taste—just enough to make things crunchy. The coconut slivers added a bit of...well, coconuttiness, I guess, and it all blended together pretty well with the lightly sweetened, rich acai berry flavor.

The most frustrating aspect of this product was preparing it. I wish I'd thought ahead and used the refrigerator method of defrosting: just take out of the freezer and let thaw in fridge overnight. The preparation instructions for procrastinators like me involved popping the product in and out of the microwave numerous times, stirring it the first time, and then checking to see whether it's thawed or not on each subsequent occasion. It specifies to heat "in 15 second intervals" after an initial period of 45 seconds. I felt like I was walking a thin line between an ice cold solid block of frozen fruits and a piping hot bowl of acai soup. But I did manage to end the process somewhere in the middle, although the acai base was much more thawed than the fruit chunks. Throw room-temperature granola into the mix, and you've got three distinct climates in one tiny bowl. A lot of stirring seemed to abate that issue, for the most part anyway.

There aren't many breakfast foods I can think of that would pack more nutrition and energy into a single serving than Trader Joe's Organic Acai Bowl. It's extremely filling for so relatively few calories. Obviously fruits and granola are great for sustained energy and nutrition, and acai is known to be high in fiber and it contains a natural stimulant that provides energy without the typical "caffeine crash." All things considered, I'm a fan.

Sonia sat this one out. She would have liked it if I had saved any for her.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Russet Kettle-Cooked Potato Chips

During our RV travels, few states stood out to Sonia and me like Idaho did. Other than a friendly acquaintance I'd met in Los Angeles and one childhood friends' sister relocating to the Boise area, neither of us had ever even known anyone from the state. 

Between the two of us, Sonia and I have either passed through or visited 40 of the 50 states at this point—and we've spent at least a week in 35 of them. I've even been a resident of five different states thus far.  Idaho would definitely be at the very top of our underrated states list, with the Boise area in particular standing out as probably the most livable city in America that we've visited.

Over the weekend, not even thinking about the fact we were eating these dark russet chips at the time, a recommended video from a channel we frequently visit started auto-playing on YouTube. It was about a woman with a very unique house just outside Boise. 

As the wife and I debated the pros and cons of living in a giant potato, we recollected our 2019 adventures out west, and it suddenly occurred to me that these chips might very well be from the great state of Idaho. Although there's no official info on the packaging asserting that the potatoes within are, in fact, sourced from the Gem State, apparently "Russet potatoes" are synonymous with "Idaho potatoes" according to Wikipedia.

Whether they're from ID or not, they're pretty good. I've never been a plain potato chip kinda guy, but these darker kettle-cooked chips are a bit more interesting than their pale cousins. There's more richness and earthiness in chips like these. The peanut oil lends an essence I'd almost describe as "buttery." 

There's just a tad more saltiness than I'd care for, but I'd probably go ahead and say that about the vast majority of—not just potato chips—but chips in general, including things like tortilla and pita, as well. Still, they didn't go completely overboard, and Sonia would say the salt level is just about perfect. 

I've had other brands of dark russet chips, most notably Utz and Herr's. It's been a hot minute, but I'd say this Trader Joe's offering is on par with either of those classic makes of potato chips. At $2.29 for the bag, it's a comparable price point, if not a little cheaper, and I love the fact there are only three ingredients. 

As the bag itself points out, these chips are great for dunking in stuff like spinach dip or for simply snacking straight out of the bag. Trader Joe's Dark Russet Kettle-Cooked Potato Chips will get four stars each from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Toasted Coconut Granola Bark

I feel bad. I really do. 

Apparently the past three products I've reviewed, like the antipasto vegetables, have already been discontinued at Trader Joe's. In fact, they were discontinued at the time I posted the reviews. Furthermore, all three of them had already been discontinued at the time we purchased them. They were just part of that leftover batch that hangs out on shelves for a month or two after TJ's gives them the axe. If you ask the friendly employees, they'll kindly check the computer to see which products are going the way of the dodo, but I certainly never think to do that. When I'm shopping Trader Joe's these days, it's usually a rapid deployment-rapid extraction type of operation. 

I mean, I get it. They need to make room for newfangled stuff like this. But it's getting to the point that you'll never know what you can find in the store. Or if they'll discontinue your favorite product while you're not paying attention. Just ask reader Bruce W. about his Black Toad Dark Ale. It's almost like a game shopping at Trader Joe's. You've gotta admit, they keep it interesting.

This new product is like the long-awaited sequel to the pumpkin spice version, released in 2017 and only available seasonally, of course. This one has coconut chips replacing pepitas and pumpkin spice and still contains rolled oats, dark chocolate, and maple syrup. I believe its predecessor came in random shards while this one comes in uniform snackalicious rectangles, which I prefer.

Flavor-wise, you can taste the coconut more than I expected, since it only represents a small percentage of the surface area of the bark bites. If you hate coconut, you ain't gonna like these, by my reckoning. Sonia was pleased that they didn't go crazy with the chocolate coating. It's thin and it's only on one side of the bark. Of course, I would have preferred a milk chocolate coating to push it ever so slightly in a desserty direction. The overall taste is slightly sweet, nutty, filling, and pretty well balanced.

Down sides: crumbs. I hate crumbs. Kinda silly. There are crumbs in life. I guess that's why we have dogs—although Alfred and Sadie aren't particularly diligent when it comes to their vacuum cleaning duties these days. Also, dogs shouldn't have chocolate.

I digress. Sonia liked this bark just slightly more than I did, and we'll continue our streak of thumbs up-ish reviews. Granola + chocolate + coconut. Kinda like a cereal but in a bar form. $3.99, organic, gluten-free, kosher. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Organic Toasted Coconut Granola Bark 4 out of 5 stars. I give it 3.5.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Black Bean Dip

As a parent, one of the rules I have is "don't yuck someone else's yum." It's only polite, and encourages my kids to try new things. And naturally as a corollary, my kids aren't allowed to tell someone else they're not gonna like something, because, again, encouraging boldness and discovery. If you try, you're halfway to triump, and if you sigh, you're halfway to silence. So c'mon c'mon.

Obscure Rustic Overtones anyone? Anyone? One of the best concerts I've ever been to, like 20 years ago....I'm old.

Anyways, naturally, I'm guilty of breaking this rule on occasion, and most recently with my youngest who was making a beeline for Trader Joe's Black Bean Dip.

It was in best of intentions, even though I hadn't tried it yet. Look: jalapenos. Serranos. Even habaneros. This has got to be spicy, and I've seen my kids ingest anything with a hint of spice before...I didn't want to deal with it.

She tried it anyways, and come to find out, not only did she love it, there was nothing for me to worry about.

Listen: this black bean dip isn't spicy. At all. It's calm and surprisingly mild. Even the black beans at like Qdoba are way spicier. No heat, and no real flavor except cool black beans. Beans is all it is, it tastes. Sure, with a little work, there's a little sublety at play here - the smallest touch of heat, a smidge of garlic and whatnot - but no, not spicy. At all. None.

That's my major takeaway. My lovely bride thinks it has more flavor than I - it's possible, I've been scorching myself with the case of TJ's bomba sauce I procured recently - but she has another quibble. It's not really a "dip" per se. We broke so many chips trying to scoop out just a little. The dip is full of entire beans, with some smushed up as a paste-type deal to hold it all together.

More flavor, and perhaps a rebranding to "bean taco filler" or something hopefully more appetizing sounding than that would work. Really I could see this stuff working great as a base for tacos or filling up inside a quesadilla as a protein source. That would better use of its consistancy and allow for flavor optimization, so all problems solved.

In the end, I'm neither yucking nor yumming but more meh-ing. Same with my lovely bride. Double threes.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Black Bean Dip: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats

As I sit here in the early morning hours of New Years Eve 2019, eating some Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats, I can't help but think about life a little bit.

It's kinda like oatmeal, isn't it?

Sometimes it's pretty good, other times it can be a lot better. You gotta take your lumps and move on. Sometimes it's better to stir it up a little, other times it's best to let it be and wait.

And to relate a little further to these new(ish) overnight oats...it's definitely a little nutty, but overall sweet. It's perishable, so take proper care. And sometimes there's no shame in taking the easy, convenient route to get through whatever lies ahead of you, as long as you're prepared ahead of time.

Okay, enough of the life coaching....it's not like I'm some Ralph Marston-esque guru. I'm just a 37 year old dude who ate some oatmeal, dangit, and I stayed in my own bed last night, not at a Holiday Express. Let's talk oatmeal.

This particular overnight oats seems really heavy on the almond flavor, coming from the almond milk/beverage the oats were soaked in. If you're not an almond fan, keep away...but at least it's good almond flavor. If I had some actual nuts to sprinkle in, I would just to mix it up a bit. There's also a decent amount of vanilla to really sweeten up everything, too. No added sugar needed, and that comes from a sugar junkie. There is a bit of a sticky sweet aftertaste that lingers on, which abates quickly with a little coffee or fruit.

It was surprising to see dates on the ingredient list, because they're imperceptible in pretty much every way. I don't taste them and I don't feel them. Of course, as in real life, dates can be really sneaky...let's move on, please.

As one would expect, the TJ overnight oats are a bit cold and somewhat lumpy but not in a gross way. I'm not smart enough to know if it's okay to heat them up, as the package gave no microwave instructions. I don't see why not except for maybe moving the oats to a microwave safe dish.

Not bad for $1.99. The oats are decent enough quality and there's a lot of convenience here, which always comes at a premium. I'm not sure I'd stock up on them personally, but for my lovely bride and I, it probably wouldn't be bad to have a couple around for one of our trademark crazy mornings on the run. That's just life, all rolled up and ready to go, and it's not bad.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Vanilla Overnight Oats: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Hold the Corn! Appetizers

Hold the corn! That must be a pun on "Hold the phone!" But wait, that doesn't rhyme—not even close. Ah, Trader Joe's must be making a play on "Hold the cone!" which is, in turn, a pun on "Hold the phone!" I guess TJ's is making fun of themselves. Unless this is somehow a play on "Hold the horns!" you know...like you "hold the bull by the horns," buuut that's a stretch.

The inspiration behind the title of this product means nothing if the product doesn't taste good. Fortunately, it does. Oh how it does.

The rice wrapper here is crispy, dry. The veggie-based filling is moist and fairly rich, but not overpowering in any way. The primary flavors are sweet corn (imagine that) along with some onion, the rice from the shell, and juuust a hint of spice from the red chili powder, green peppercorns, and garlic.

I could have sworn I detected the taste and texture of quinoa up in the mix, but alas, there is none listed on the ingredients. They aren't excessively greasy or oily. The nutrition info here is very reasonable, considering how utterly delectable these things are.

There's also the slightest suggestion that these are somehow veggie spring rolls that want to be dipped in a sweet and sour sauce of some kind. I might have tried that pairing if we'd had any packets laying around. Most people might not have that inclination—Sonia certainly didn't—but I'm big into condiments, and I always want to dip my appetizers in something—maybe an avocado salsa or chipotle sauce would have worked here...? I would have even slathered them with melted cheese of some kind—not that they really needed it. They didn't last long enough to be experimented upon. Perhaps we'll try them with dips upon the next purchase—and there will be a next purchase.

Served as appetizers, these will certainly make your guests ready to eat more food. The only problem I can foresee is that the only thing they'll want to eat is more of these delicious cones of corn. Each one is like a mini cornucopia, perfect for Thanksgiving...or any other time for that matter. $3.99 for 12, found in the frozen section. Two big thumbs up and a very high recommendation from this nomadic half of WG@TJ's. Four and a half stars from me. Five stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.