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Monday, May 8, 2017

Trader Joe's Birthday Cake Bar

White chocolate lovers, rejoice! All others, go about your business as usual.

All three of us in the world that appreciate white chocolate—no, wait...we did get a comment recently from a gal who loves white chocolate, so there must be at least four of us—should totally try this bar. It's great quality white chocolate, very sweet and creamy. What else is going on here? Not a whole lot. But simple is good. Let's take a look.

In addition to delectable white chocolate (I'm not a white chocolate supremacist, it's just my personal preference) there are colorful sprinkles and cookie crumbs which give the bar a fun appearance and crunchy texture, although the cookie crumbs are especially hard to detect visually since they're white on white. But make no mistake, they are there. And not only do they add a crispity-crunchitiness, they add a subtle amount of birthday cake flavor, too. 

The sprinkles just add that magical unicorn rainbow happiness that tends to make grown men smile and giggle. No? That's not a thing? I meant a magical unicorn rainbow happiness that grown men tend to be completely indifferent to. Ahem. <Clears throat and continues narration a full octave lower than before.>

There's no kale in here. No bacon. Nothing super weird, although TJ's—or TJ's third party supplier, as the case may very well be—did find a way to work in some interesting ingredients like beet juice and turmeric for color in the sprinkles (or "jimmies" if you prefer) and rice and potato flours in the crumbs. I guess the overall effect is vaguely birthday cake-ish, but mostly, it's just white chocolate.

The bar comes in six squares, perfect for breaking off a piece and saving the rest for later, although the product isn't particularly large to begin with. I could have easily polished off the whole thing by myself in one sitting. I did share with Sonia, however, even though she wasn't as impressed as I was. She doesn't like white people that much—er, I mean white chocolate that much at all. She prefers dark and occasionally milk chocolate like most of you silly humans.

I would have been tempted to push this product into at least the "really darn good" category just by virtue of it being made of white chocolate, but in light of its relatively small size and price tag of $1.99, it's not the best candy value in the store. I still give it four stars and an enthusiastic thumbs up, but my take on it will be offset by my wife (and 99.999% of humanity) with her lackluster three star rating and a thumb not down but sorta in the middle somewhere.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.


  1. At least one half of the Pittsburgh WGATJs crew really likes this!

  2. I like white chocolate, and I liked this. It almost (not quite) erased the unfortunate memory of the matcha green tea white chocolate from my taste buds. Also, there are no gluten ingredients in the cookie crumbs, if that's important to anyone :) other than me!

    1. Thanks for pointing that out,KeriL. Yay for rice and potato flour!

  3. I found it "ok" even the 10 year old I got it for found it "just ok". It's better than some white chocolate- which can leave a weird film in your mouth. I know it's not fair to judge something for what it's not but I just wish it was white chocolate with Joe Joe's (Oreos) pieces.

    1. Yeah Joe Joe's might work here...

    2. LOL -I really wish people would stop saying white chocolate is chocolate. It is not chocolate. At best it is a chocolate derivative. It does not contain chocolate solids. It contains cocoa butter, sugar, lecithin and milk solids. It should be called a chocolate confection. It's not even candy. Chocolate is not candy. I grew up on the East Coast and Europe. Chocolate was one thing and candy was entirely another thing. Unfortunately this is not sound appealing to me at all.

  4. I love good white chocolate, not confection. I love Birthday cake flavoureed stuff, but I don't love plain chocolate bars I'm also cheap... hmmm, dilemma!


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