Trader Joe's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Aged Maple Syrup

"Syrup in my coffee? Why didn't I think of that?"

That's one of those sneaky underrated lines from Elf, our favorite Christmas movie. In fact, it's repeated quite often in our kitchen on those few mornings where Sandy and I have enough time and peace to enjoy a cuppa joe together. Especially because...you guessed it...from time to time we put maple syrup in our coffee. It's actually pretty good in place of sugar if you've never tried.

Of course, if you're familiar with the movie, that's not maple syrup Buddy's putting in his mug there...go with me and let's say it's bourbon. In the movie, hilarity ensues. For us, it raised the question: what would bourbon flavored maple syrup taste like?

No more guessing for us! We finally caved and bought Trader Joe's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Aged Maple Syrup. I say "caved" because we've been tempted often, but let's just say as a growing family we're somewhat value conscious, and $9.99 for a little bottle of maple syrup seems to be more aligned with luxury than necessity.

Not that it's a terrible price for quality maple syrup, given the cost factors that go into production, but it's worth a mention.

Anyways, as someone more acquainted with the darker amber and more maple-y flavor depths of Grade B maple syrup, it really struck me at first how light and super sugary sweet the TJ's borubon maple syrup is. It's a big step to Grade A. Wow. I could almost feel a cavity forming after my first taste. But once that shock wore off, the subleties of sweetness here began to come out a bit. It's kinda like a layered effect, and I'm not sure how to describe it except there's like these micro ebbs and flows with how sugary sweet this particular syrup is.

And there's a legit bourbon presence as well. It seems to slip in, about halkway thru, and provide like this little flourishing underpinning. It's quite delicious and seems to meld nearly perfectly with the sugary high notes. I will say that the bourbon is less apparent when sampled with things like pancakes and waffles - damn carbs soak up all that booze, it seems.

And yes, it works well in coffee. And better than bourbon barrel coffee too.

Leave the kids with Aunt Jemima or whatever - this is some pretty decadent syrup to not let go to waste. Savor and enjoy. At least that's what we're trying to do and ration out, as now our maple syrup line item on the family budget is tapped out for a bit...I kid. Good stuff, give it a try. Just wish there a Grade B version. Matching fours from me and the wife.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Reserve Bourbon Barrel Aged Maple Syrup: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Scandinavian Tidings

You might remember some other Scandies we reviewed on here a while ago. This time, Trader Joe dropped the chuckle-inducing title of "swimmers" and went with "tidings," as in: tidings of comfort and joy or something like that. 

TJ's holds the holiday theme high here, as this product features a bold Christmassy red resealable bag, snowflake art on the packaging, and three ultra-merry colors/shapes/flavors: green trees, red ornaments, and yellowish stars. I say yellow-ish because, well, they're somewhere between yellow and off-white. That's just fine, because they went with vegetable-based coloring in this product, as we've seen from TJ's in the past. We don't need our candy to be electric-neon-radioactive yellow. I'll take the blackcurrant, carrot, and pumpkin colorings any day over "yellow number five" or whatever carcinogenic nonsense the other guys use.

As far as flavors go, there are three distinct tastes. The red ornaments are my favorite, and they taste just like classic Swedish Fish if you ask me. The stars are slightly softer than the other two shapes, and they taste like...I dunno...something sweet. Call me crazy, but I feel like the green trees taste slightly appley. There's no apple listed in the ingredients, so...I guess I could be wrong.

Both Sonia and I would have enjoyed these more if they were sour, in the manner of the legendary T's and J's. And honestly, I think I prefer the swimmers over these. 

Why? Well, at least three out of the four flavors present in the swimmers were pretty tasty. Here, I don't think the flavors are quite as unique or memorable. Plus—there are only three shapes, as opposed to four. I guess you could make a big tree shape out of all the trees in the bag and then pretend to decorate it with the stars and red balls, but that's not nearly as much fun as staging battles between dolphins, giant lobsters, seahorses, and rock fish. 

I mean...not that I actually did either one of those things.

There's certainly nothing wrong with these candies, but they're neither the most fun nor the best tasting gummy candy we've seen from Trader Joe's. It's a decent bit of gummies for $2.99, and the overall quality is on par with what we've come to expect from TJ's. I'll go with three out of five gummy candy Christmas stars. Sonia gives them three and a half.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Peppermint Almond Beverage

Holiday shopping season. Hurrah.

If it's not Black Friday then it's Small Business Saturday or Cyber Monday or Giving Tuesday or it's any of those extended for one whole week or more. And of course it's complete with the TV ads and jingles and must-buy lists and all that. Apparently this year I am supposed to find a good deal on something called "Fingerlings" for my kids. No, not play potatoes....something like some sort of animal toy that hangs on to your finger. Flamingos and sloths or something like that. It's another must buy item at a must buy time of year...because someone is telling us so.

Well, I can't be too opposed to the whole notion behind all this holiday buying nonsense....because you must go buy Trader Joe's Chocolate Peppermint Almond Beverage! Right now! While supplies last! Your holidays will be incomplete without it! Go! Go! Gooooooooooooooo!!!!

Alright, alright, let's catch our breath a little bit. I mean, this seasonally festive TJ's drink is a pretty decent beverage after all. There's a little extra creaminess that most almond-based milk-type substances seem to lack that's a real nice touch. It's smooth and very non-chalky, with a small hint of almond taste to give away that it's not the usual cow juice type deal for its base. That nuttiness certainly isn't too heavy handed. The chocolate part is fairly rich and somewhat decadent - it'll hit your sweet tooth for sure.

It's the peppermint part that could be construed as problematic. If consumed cold, the mint is bit much, like these matching Christmas pajamas. There's nothing too wrong with it, and it's kinda cute, but it's just a bit much. Yet when heated to hot cocoa-type temperatures (i.e., it's prime consumption mode) a lot of the mintiness just disappears. It's still there, but the chocolate really kinda takes over, with only a hint o' peppermint. I wish it'd be more minty then.

Regardless, for a dairy-free holiday option, the chocolate peppermint almond beverage is a pretty good and reasonable buy. It's only $1.79 for the quart carton, so it's a good product at a reasonable price...and since it's shelf stable at room temperature, hey, stock up if that's your thing. Just no trying to charge five times MSRP on eBay for it. I'm thinking of you, you Fingerling hucksters, you...grumble. Both the wife and I are gonna hit it with a fourspot.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Chocolate Peppermint Almond Beverage: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Cheesy Trees

It's funny how snacks marketed for children often use animal shapes: Goldfish, Teddy Grahams, and of course, classic animal crackers like Barnum's Animals...

And I'm not saying you couldn't pull it off, but if you were throwing some fine holiday soiree, it would be a little weird to put giraffe and elephant-shaped crackers out to enjoy with wine and fruit, for example. However, if said crackers were shaped like evergreen trees, nobody would bat an eyelid.

And if there was any doubt that these trees are alluding to Christmas trees in particular, there's a spiel on the packaging that starts with "O Tannenbaum." 

Furthermore, this product flaunts a particularly wintry theme on its packaging, including a fox with a scarf and a rabbit wearing gloves. There's evidence of snow on the ground, and even the songbirds are bundled up with earmuffs and knit caps.

I'm not sure why cheese-flavored tree crackers are particularly seasonal, wintry, or Christmassy, but it works somehow. And indeed they do pair well with a nice Cab. They boast a strong, sharp cheddar flavor, but their texture is relatively thin and delicate. They're buttery to the touch—completely covered in real cheese. They necessitate napkins. And as you can see in the photo above, the depiction of the crackers on the box is pretty close to their actual size.

Unfortunately, about half of our trees were broken at the time of consumption, which might be a bummer if we were concerned with presentation or were attempting to impress guests. But luckily for us, it was just Sonia and I gobbling up the crackers by ourselves after a nice hike with our poorly-behaved pets.

After wolfing down a good portion of the bag, a bright lightbulb appeared over Sonia's head. 

"What is it!?" I exclaimed.

"Tomato soup!" she replied.

She scrambled over to the pantry and parted a row of chicken noodle and lentil and produced a lone can of Progresso Tomato Soup. She held it high above her head and The Hallelujah Chorus mysteriously poured out of each corner of the room as a brilliant, pure white light filled our house, its source unknown.

She proceeded to heat the soup and served it up in two bowls, which were swimming with tree-halves just moments later. And it was heavenly.

Sonia was enthusiastic about the trees from her first bite to her last. She gives them four and a half Christmas stars. I liked them just fine, although I don't think I'd snack on them just by themselves on a regular basis...but I'd never discourage Sonia from keeping some on hand, just in case I get a hankering for a bowl of tomato soup again. Three and a half Christmas stars from me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cornbread Stuffing Mix and Trader Joe's Kettle Cooked Turkey Gravy

Stuffing: Both a noun and a verb. Particularly this time of year. Discuss.

I know, I know....this particular review of Trader Joe's Cornbread Stuffing Mix and Trader Joe's Kettle Cooked Turkey Gravy woulda been a little more timely and helpful last week, particularly before that big ol' Turkey Day holiday last week. Sorry, but we kinda busy...doing nothing. Nada. It was WONDERFUL. I love Thanksgiving and all, and usually it's a big get-together with dozens of relatives and a verifiable smorgasmicbord of all sorts of different dishes and desserts and everything...but not this year. Kept it lowkey. Watched the Macy's parade and some of the dog show on TV at Sandy's mom's for breakfast, came home, took a rest, and made Thanksgiving dinner for just me and my girls before watching Elf as is family tradition.

And since for those family Thanksgiving dinners I was really never really asked to bring anything more than salt and pepper, or to chip in a little bit for the turkey (which my dad always seemed to do for me), Sandy and I really didn't have great top secret family recipes to make or do, so we kept it simple, hence our purchase of those two Thanksgiving staples.

First up: TJ's cornbread stuffing. Call it filling if you'd like...I'll think you're odd but won't comment out loud. If you stop and think about it, stuffing doesn't really sound like a tasty idea: warm, salty bread mush. But dang it if it's not some classic comfort right there. Trader Joe's boxy blend is pretty top notch. We had no bird to stuff, so we went for the oven prep method and went lighter on the water in the hope of more crunchy tidbits. That's exactly what we got. Now, the ingredients list "white bread" and "corn bread" before mentioning the word croutons...I didn't notice any white bread morsels, so maybe these were carby combo cubes? The spice blend was pretty classic too - rosemary, onion, garlic, etc added a really nice savory touch as one would expect. It is important to note that 1) it's not gluten free 2) there's chicken broth, so not vegeterian/vegan friendly and 3) there's mushrooms in there - which we didn't notice but post a sleeper allergy concern for some. I may be wrong, but I think a GF-friendly stuffin' made with veggie broth and no mushrooms wouldn't have sacrificed much in terms of flavor or satisfaction while being able to be enjoyed by more folks. That's my only real knock. Better than Stove Top (although when reheated the difference is less apparent), open to any additions (raisins, apple bits, bacon, etc), fills a void, pairs well with cranberry sauce...

Or gravy. In our case, TJ's Kettle Cooked Turkey Gravy. Wish I had much to say about this gravy, as I grew up a big gravy fan (both literally and figuratively) and I've yet to find a commercial gravy that approximates my mom's (even though I know hers is just jarred mixed with pan drippings - there's something else about it I can't figure out). TJ's gravy is good, not great. I mean, I coated my turkey with it and piled up a stuffing/mashed potato mountain just to make a huge gravy crater in the middle, so I can't say I disliked it. Maybe the fact that it's a little thicker and gloopier than what I'm accustomed to is why. Certainly tasted like decent turkey gravy, but nothing really stood out. It's probably open to some customization and doctoring, which I probably could have done but eh well.

So, in case you have to bring something easy to another holiday feast, or just want a simple classic taste for dinner, you can do a lot worse than this combo this time of year. We're higher on the stuffing than the gravy, but together they make a good team. We're thankful for the blessing of good, warm food and family, and hope to continue to enjoy that this holiday season. We hope for that for you as well.

Bottom lines: Trader Joe's Cornbread Stuffing Mix: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons. Trader Joe's Kettle Cooked Turkey Gravy: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Turkey Cranberry Apple Salad

This year, I'm thankful we found something pseudo-appropriate to put up the day before Thanksgiving. I mean, this tub of Turkish delight—er, excuse me—turkey-ish delight is a great little mini Thanksgiving meal all its own. It's kinda like a Gobbler Wrap without the wrap.

My wife, whom I'm very thankful for, loved it even more than I did. She holds this snacky salad on par with the classic Wine Country Chicken Salad. I wouldn't go quite that far. But it's close.

Chunks of apple and cranberry lend both tartness and sweetness to the blend. There are huge cubes of high-quality turkey and generous amounts of mayo here, too—and just enough sage to make it interesting. It's perfect for slathering on crackers, making sandwiches, or eating straight out of the tub. At least around these parts, the only three meats you'll find with regularity are beef, pork, and chicken, so I'm always grateful to have another choice on hand.

I wish turkey were more common year round. I mean, sure, there are turkey hoagies here and there. But I'd choose turkey burgers more often if I could. Likewise, why isn't turkey salad just as common as chicken salad or tuna salad? Are we scared we'll run out of turkeys come November? 

No matter. I'll enjoy this turkey salad while it's around. Like many foods this time of year, it's a little on the fattening side...but let's all pretend it's not since it's the holidays...and that will be our little secret.

Likely many of you are traveling today, pigging out with family tomorrow, and doing some Christmas shopping over the Black Friday weekend, so I'm very thankful for whatever readership we do get right now. Hope you all have safe and happy Thanksgivings! And I'm thankful that you enjoy reading our blog.

Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hot Cocoa O's

It's not just Thanksgiving this week for the Western PA half of the WGaTJ team. Nope, Sandy and I (Russ) are also celebrating another annual notch on the marital belt. Eight years now, we've officially been a team...and been through a lot together. Mostly good, occasionally tough. Not gonna get too boring or sappy or whatever - believe me, I can, just ask my wife - but there's no one else I'd rather keep on spending my time with.

Especially when it's Netflix and cereal night.

Maybe it sounds dull and unexciting - and maybe it is - but it's the best. Get the kids snuggled in bed after dinner, then retreat to our third floor for a night of cozy couch time bingewatching Dr Who or Stranger Things or whatever movie or show. And even better when accompanied with a bowl of some super sugary cereal we'd never let those kids touch. Those weirdos love the healthy stuff, like their favorite purple cereal. We've housed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in less time than it takes a Dalek to say "Exterminate!"

So, obviously, Trader Joe's Hot Cocoa O's debuting right around time of said anniversary and new Stranger Things episodes...absolutely the cereal became a must buy.

Man oh man...I don't care that I'm 35, I get excited about this kinda stuff. Look! Chocolate cereal with marshmallows in it! Granted, this isn't exactly a cereal innovation much unlike anything the world has ever seen...but call it Hot Cocoa O's just makes it sound even more enticing. Cereal...that tastes like hot chocolate? Yes please! Even if the box refers to the tidbits as being "hoops" which mildly annoys me for whatever reason.

For as much seeming promise as these circlo-cocoa crunchies hold, there's something perhaps slightly amiss. It's not the crunch, as the oat/corn hybrid holds up fairly well even after getting drenched in milk. And it's not exactly the taste either - there's nothing too terribly wrong, but the problem that plagued my bowl is much like what can derail a cup of actual hot chocolate. If not chocolately enough, hot cocoa still offers some comfort and tastes fine and all, but it can be better. Much better.

Kinda the same deal here. There's just not quite enough chocolate to really satisfy my guilty pleasure-seeking sweet tooth. And of course, if the cereal isn't quite that way, neither is the leftover milk. That's almost the whole point of adding milk to cereal - all that leftover milk soaking up all the sugar and flavor for one last little treat - nah. Not here as much. Could be that Sandy and I primarily use almond milk, so cow or other milks may have a different experience.

Seems to me that Cocoa Puffs still reign supreme in the choco-cereal kingdom. But for $2.99 for the box, the TJ's brand is far from failure. I ate some dry, and it strikes me as a good snack to enjoy that way. You could also probably make a decent Rice Krispy Treat-type deal with them. But when it comes down to it, I wanted to feel compelled to binge on these, and they just don't do it for me. Not in that way.

But hey...got my beautiful bride by my side, still a fair amount of Stranger Things to watch, and some half-decent cereal to munch on too. 'Tis a good week to be thankful, indeed.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Hot Cocoa O's: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Almond Nog

Sonia's first words after taking a sip of this beverage: "WOW! I definitely like this better than regular egg nog."

If it's not obvious already, I'll go ahead and tell you she's not a true lover of traditional egg nog, while I most definitely am.

My first words after trying this drink: "Hmm. Yeah. I definitely don't like this as much as normal egg nog."

They should have called this Trader Joe's *Almost* Nog. Only two letters' difference. 

Surprisingly though, I didn't hate it—but it's absolutely within the realm of possibility that other egg nog connoisseurs won't even tolerate this almond-based nogoff.

Now I'm fine with almond milk in place of dairy. Flavored almond milk? Sometimes it works in my opinion, and sometimes it doesn't. Sonia and I were similarly divided when it came to last year's pumpkin spice almond beverage, with the wife giving it a solid thumbs up, and me, not so much.

I'm not nearly as enthused about egg nog-flavored things as I am about egg nog itself. Even egg nog ice cream pales in comparison to the real deal in my book.

Here, we have not a true alternative to egg nog, but a beverage that is merely egg nog-flavored. I mean, for vegans, the lactose-intolerant, and people with egg allergies, this must be a dream come true. For the rest of us...meh.

The texture is far too thin to compare with traditional nog. If you look at the picture, you'll see the myriad tiny bubbles that result when you "shake well" as per the instructions on the carton. It's just a tad thicker than water. Flavor-wise, it's distinctly egg noggish, but with a greater level of nuttiness, and less of...pretty much everything else. I think they could have stepped up the spice game a notch here, which would have not only offered a bolder flavor, but perhaps masked what I perceive to be other slight weaknesses in the taste department. Of course, if one were so inclined, he could add his own spices...not to mention other additives of the "spirited" variety that might help cover up said shortcomings of this seasonal potation.

And to those of you who think we're jumping the Christmas season gun by reviewing this overtly Yuletidey product before Thanksgiving, I'll just say this: I associate egg nog not only with Christmas, but also with Thanksgiving. Sure, the whole Christmas thing encroaches on earlier months more and more each year it seems. I mean, we did a bit of Black Friday shopping this year a full two weeks before Black Friday, because now there are "pre-Black Friday sales," which promise great deals with only a fraction of the physical confrontations and full-contact shopping experience. But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that we're trying to give you our opinions now so that you'll be informed before you make those holiday TJ's runs.

Just for kicks and giggles, I compared the nutrition info of this product to a carton of actual egg nog. Yeah. Ordinary nog has nearly four times the calories and six times the fat. So...there's that to consider.

Sonia gives this almond nog four stars. I'm torn between two and a half and three—but I'll go with three for the benefit of those who cannot or will not enjoy actual egg nog this holiday season. It's absolutely worth a try if you're not into milk, eggs, the thick texture of traditional nog, excessive fat and calories, or the joys of seasonal obesity.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hasselback Potatoes

Now for something completely exciting...potatoes.

When packing a lunch for school for our kindergartner M, either Sandy or I like to draw her a little note for her to see at lunch time. A little something to make her laugh or think is cute or whatever to let her know we're thinking about her. And by either Sandy or I, I usually mean Sandy, because I can't draw worth a crap. Recently, we've been on a Thanksgiving theme kick, and just so happened that I had to do one for her last week on a particularly busy morning...

I drew her a potato.

I mean, kinda cute one, maybe...or at least recognizable as potato, with haphazard Kawaii style eyes, a smile, with the words MASH ME. M at least said she liked it and smiled when I asked her, but yeah, she was not too excited about her potato.

We're not all that excited about these Trader Joe's Hasselback Potatoes, either.

It's not that it's a bad potato. It's....just a potato. I don't get it. I don't understand what the deal is. Maybe I'm unenlightened and all that...but seriously, these hback taters seem to be nothing more than a spud half-slashed by Wolverine and stuck in a box and frozen. Sure, a little butter and salt, but the outcome tastes not unlike a regular baked potato that you may or may not want to dress up a little more yourself.

Unlike other prepared veggie side dishes, you can't even really make a convenience argument here. Here's how to make your own for a fraction of the cost. That...doesn't really look complicated at all. Granted, these TJ taters take about half the time, so they must be at least partially baked before getting iced over...which reminds me. If you do buy these, bake for a little longer than the instructed 30 minutes. My spuds had some ice-cold nether regions on them still after half an hour. No bueno.

Kids liked them, we liked them...we're partially Irish, of course we're gonna like potatoes. But there's nothing special or cool or Trader Joe's-y or anything about these taters. Not even like a funky/cool spice blend. They're just partially baked/partially sliced potatoes, in a freezer box, and I'll be darned if their existence didn't make me try to think of potato/David Hasselhoff puns for at least half an hour and I can't think of a single one. Do you understand how frustrating that is? There's got to be at least one. Please. Help me.

Not a complete failure, but far from a success. Between all of us here, can't muster any excitement or a higher score. Matching 2s.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Hasselback Potatoes: 4 out of 10 Golden Spoons