Trader Joe's Amba Mango Sauce

It's been a while since it's been mentioned here...I get weird about packaging, and especially for condiments.

Namely, I hate squeeze bottles. Hate. That potentially uncontrollable plopping purge. That variable farty sound. The way when they're empty they only exude scented air and not only product. Ugh.

Jars and bottles are okay, and you'd think that'd cover most basics aside from individual packets (also not a huge fan, mostly cuz I either can't open them or rip them right in half)...but here comes, of all things, a pouch. With a spigot. Whaaaa?

Such as it is with the new Trader Joe's Amba Mango Sauce. Why a pouch? I'm clueless here. Sandy said they're more refrigerator friendly than a jar or bottle. I'm not sure if I buy that. I see no reason for this to be in a pouch, and alone made me somewhat hesitant to try. Fermented mango stuff is cool, pouches with spigots, not so much.

Man oh man, I'm glad I got over that.

Imagine a mild, slightly sweet curry sauce, without any milk or anything for that little extra creaminess, and that's almost exactly what we got here. I wasn't sure if it was gonna be more jelly/jam/chunky/salsa like - nope, just smooth, smooth sauce that comes running out of that faucet faster than a tornado or a house falling down, as my four year old would say. There's some serious flow.

Sandy and I poured some over some roasted chicken...and wow. It's unbelievable to me how mild it is. Mangoes can be strong and overpowering, and fermented stuff (which I love) can have that serious level of funk....but there's none of that here. Although fairly simple and somewhat unassuming, the amba sauce has a certain balanced smidge of complexity between the faintly sweet mango and the spices, with the slightest bit of ferment as the backdrop.

It's delicious. There's a part of me that wants a little more oomph, a little more bite, a little more spice, a little more something. But nah. The more I had, the more I appreciated it just as it is. It almost went better on our potatoes than our chicken, and man, I'd put this on almost anything.

I've never had the privilege of trying authentic real amba sauce, so how good of a comparison this is to the "real stuff," you're gonna have to tell me. And also the price, too...Sandy picked it up but misplaced receipt. First one to hit me up with a price gets a shoutout here. EDIT: thanks to loyal reader rh383, it's $3.49! Not a bad price at all!

I can see buying this again and again and again. Pork, roasted veggies, falafels...yes please. I can put down the hot sauce and sriracha for the amba any time. My kids don't like it, which is odd I think...oh well, more for Sandy and me. She ranks it as a perfect five, and well, it's been long enough since we've placed something on the Pantheon, so I'll go a little higher than I would (seriously, the pouch and spigot thing bug me way more than it should) to ensure the amba's place among the all time greats.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Amba Mango Sauce: 9.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Chocolat En Croute

Call me jaded, but when I see "Chocolat En Croute," I assume it's just a gimmick. Crusty chocolate, eh? You expect us to pay $6.49 for a loaf of crusty chocolate, TJ's? I was wholly disinterested. 

Fortunately, Sonia didn't see it that way, and she picked one up before we left the San Antonio area. We needed backup review items for our long journey across western Texas and southern New Mexico. There aren't any Trader Joe's between San Antonio, TX and Tucson, AZ along the I-10 corridor. That's almost 900 miles and 13 hours of driving without a TJ's. We could have taken a detour up to Albuquerque and made a TJ's run there, but that's six hours round trip off our plotted course. So we just stocked up and headed west.

So that means this box has been sliding around our little Norcold RV freezer for over a thousand miles. It was noticeably banged up, but still mostly intact. I photoshopped the worst parts of the package. Did anybody notice?

Nope? Good. 

"So why review this product now?" you wonder. Well, Valentine's Day (VD) is right around the corner, and this is among the items that Trader Joe's is promoting as a VD treat. Now that I've tried it, not only will I not argue with that assertion, I'll wholeheartedly plug this dessert as an ideal gift for your sweetheart.

If your significant other is a chocolate person, but you don't want to go that same old, tired "box of chocolates" route, this is a great alternative. It's bursting with rich dark-ish chocolate taste, but it's also got flaky, buttery crust, almonds, and a delicious, creamy frangipane—reminiscent of amaretto. I don't often read the individual product write-ups on traderjoes.com because they tend to influence my opinions and scores, but I love the description of this dessert on Trader Joe's own website—particularly the line that calls it a "gorgeous, Paris-pâtisserie-worthy pastry." Couldn't have said it better myself.

It's a top-shelf quality product that's almondy, chocolatey, creamy, and bready. I'd buy it again for VD or any special occasion—or just dessert on an ordinary day. Pleasant surprise with this one. Put us down for four stars a piece.  

Brie, turkey, and now chocolate. What will TJ's stick in a pastry crust next? Mango? Cookie butter? Coffee? Your guess is as good as mine.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Pineapple Juice

It's January. It's cold.

If you're anywhere in the general Midwest to NorthEast or so of the good ol' U S of A, you know this already. It's so cold here that they're closing all the schools tomorrow. I don't remember that ever happening back in my day...then again I never heard of a polar vortex until maybe three or four years ago, and somehow we've had one every year since. Windchills are going to in the negative teens or so tomorrow, so I guess it's too cold for the school busses to get their diesel engines warmed up, or too cold for kids to be waiting at bus stops, or something along those lines.

Hopefully it won't be too cold for kids at home.

I don't know why they can't just make "cold days" a parent/guardian dropoff/pick up only day, with a totally excused absence if that's not a possiblity, but that's a topic for another day.

On the dais for today: Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Pineapple Juice. There's that word again, cold. And of course, it's best served cold. Yet there's absolutely something about a warm, bright, citrusy, fresh tasting juice that conjures up a little tropical warmth, isn't there?

That's what TJ's got with this juice. Nothing flashy, nothing too special. But it's just honest and good. If like me you're unsure what the big fuss really is about cold pressed juices, this might be worth a read. "Cold pressed" always seemed like more of a marketing term than anything, but I guess I'm wrong. I mean, if the Kardashians swear by them...More nutrients, etc and whatnot. In the juice, that is. 

Well, whatever. It's tasty juice in all it's pineapplicious glory. There's a little bit of pulp, and the bottle absolutely needs a thorough shaking before consuming because of the settling sediment. Despite all that, the juice is cool, crisp and refreshing, and makes a great part of a busy morning breakfast or for a calmer treat. The degenerate in me wants to mix a little Malibu or some vodka in it, but that probably defeats the purpose.

Of course, it's a bit pricey at $3 a bottle. That's enough to make me balk at frequent buys. When confronted with a beverage choice in the $3 range, I'm likely to reach more for a kombucha than another bottle of this juice. I feel like there's a bit more value there than here. Could be wrong though, as is usual.

Nothing much else to say. We liked it. Maybe will buy again, maybe not, but worth a try. Matching threes from the wife and me.

Keep warm everybody!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Pineapple Juice: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons