Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Joe-Joe's Pumpkin Sandwich Cookies

Let's see...oil changes, parent-teacher conferences, paying taxes, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, visiting the in-laws...and trying pumpkin spiced stuff.

What's all that have in common?

That's all stuff that can be done out of obligation, and not for enjoyment. Maybe not all are applicable to everybody, but to me, it'd take a real weirdo to truly enjoy more than one or two items on that list. 

But sometimes, you know...it goes right. Maybe you don't get the upsell for a junky filter or windshield wipers, or Lil' Susie Q has make some great strides, or you owe way less, or you don't run over a kid's toy, or you leave a bunch of snap peas hidden for your sister to find and get mad about to tattle to your mom only for your mom to make her finish the rest of the dishes (personal story of mine from growing up, one of my favorites), or you have a really good convo....or you try Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Pumpkin Sandwich Cookies. 

Coming from a true pumpkin spice agnostic - the Great Pumpkin *could* exist, but can't prove it - these cookies are legitimately sincerely good. It really was a surprise. I so thought one cookie and done, but no, not the case. I kinda wanted to devour the whole sleeve. 

The key here really is the sandwich creme. It's soft and fluffy and, well, creamy, and delicious. It's so rich and inviting, with just the right amount of cinnamon and nutmeg and whatever else goes into the pumpkin spice mix. It's exceptionally well done, and a far cry from the stiff, stale glop that was expected. It's a revelation. If this cream got sold in a plastic tub, I'd hammer it down by the ladleful, so probably good thing they don't.

The cookies are nice and crisp, and even the thin candy shell adds just the right amount of flavor and texture. Thicker shells can get to be too much, so I appreciate the "less is more" approach taken here as far as thickness - it's more a thin plating than an actual coating. The sea salt on my cookies wasn't overly noticeable, which to me is the right amount - it seems just enough to amp up the flavor but not overtake and be too salty and spoil the experience. 

Both the cookies and the coating are also pumpkin spiced, with some pureed pumpkin in there somewhere...so each cookie is a three pronged pumpkin spice attack. Lots of PS to go around, plenty really. And, surprising myself to write this, but the cookies are wonderfully, truly delicious. 

Really glad I picked this as my contractually obligated "one new TJ's pumpkin spice product to review" for this year. Really lucked out. Next time I'm stuck at Jiffy Lube on the way to my kid's school with my W2's, gas for the mower while chatting with my mother-in-law, I'll make sure to have a clean plate for a handful of these. That'd really make everything go better. I loved 'em as did the kiddos, and yes, my lovely bride, we saved you some, somehow. Delish. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Joe-Joe's Pumpkin Sandwich Cookies: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons. 

Trader Joe's Caramel Apple Mochi

I'm guessing during times of great economic strain there's not a lot of demand for food criticism—you know, like during the Great Depression and such. Any "problems" I have with the foods I'm reviewing here or anywhere else will suddenly seem completely irrelevant and inconsequential if we return to a time of stock losses, bear markets, high unemployment, and nutritional scarcity. I'm thinking food critics won't be counted as essential in any way, shape, or form and most food review blogs will fade away and eventually vanish altogether.

Some might say we're headed that way right now. But as long as we suburbanite middle-class Americans can keep our normalcy bias goggles on super tight, we'll keep overanalyzing pre-packaged "organic junk food" or, in this case, an odd fusion of a classic all-American flavor in a Japanese-American mochi ice cream format.

An initial observation: this is the first mochi I've personally seen from Trader Joe's that comes individually packaged. Each mochi ball comes in its own little cellophane wrapper. Previous mochi iterations have all come in an egg-carton sort of plastic tray with six indentations, one for each piece, all wrapped in one big cellophane bag. There are obvious advantages to having each one individually wrapped, but there might also be some disadvantages, too. I won't dwell on that issue too much.

The light brown rice-based shell is pretty much par for the course. It's soft, stretchy and dusted with a starchy powder. There's not much flavor in the outer shell. It just holds the ice cream where it belongs.

And the ice cream here is decent. Visually, it's not much different from plain vanilla, but it flaunts a good balance of both apple flavor and caramel flavor. It's nice and creamy, sweet, smooth. But Sonia and I both detected something...just slightly off-putting about the caramel aspect of it in particular. We both felt like it tasted artificial somehow. We were both wishing they'd put a glob of pure caramel in the middle of apple flavored ice cream, similar to the saucy mocha center we saw in the coffee mochi some six years ago.

But there is real apple in the ice cream, and you can taste it. I almost wish they'd simply done apple mochi or maybe apple cinnamon rather than caramel. But again, all these complaints are silly in the end. This is a fine product, all things considered, and I'm blessed to have been able to try it.

It's been a long time since I first had mochi, but there's still something novel about eating ice cream with your hands. I'll definitely buy Trader Joe's mochi again in the future, but not sure if this flavor would be my first choice. Apparently, this product is already done for the season. Sheesh, can't you keep a product around for two weeks, Trader Joe's? I'm sure it'll be back next year for those of you who want to try it...

$4.79 for six pieces of mochi. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Joe-Joe's Granola

Oh man, let's just try to work through this here. 

At first glance, it really looks like the real name of this product is....ready for it....Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola Cookies & Creme Inspired Granola Clusters. That's a real mouth full. it's a good thing that a "granola cookie" really isn't a thing - I mean, it sounds an edgier, crunchier oatmeal cookie - but as a guy who's eaten, reviewed and researched many a cookie, I've never heard of them. I'm now patiently waiting for you all to prove me wrong that such a thing does exist, and if so, I'll give you my mailing address and eagerly wait an up-close inspection. 

So, really, it's "just" Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola, but with all those potentially possessive 'postrophes, there's a question of ownership and chain of command. I mean, it's my granola! Hands off now Joe-Joe...and Trader Joe's...it's mine and you won't want it when I'm done with it. 

Enough banter, let's get to it. Joe-Joe's, of course, are TJ's answer to the all time classic Oreo sandwich cookie. They're pretty nondescript, except to say it's a bit of a tasty knockoff, but it's fun to incorporate them into things like ice cream, and now, apparently, granola. 

This stuff is seriously crisp and crunchy, much more than regular granola. Perhaps the addition/utilization of coconut is the reason. This crunchy crispy clusters will give your molars a work out right out of the bag, and honestly, not even milk will soften it, at least in the few minutes it'd take to scarf down a bowl. Super crunchy and munchy. I dig. 

And if cookies and creme is your bag, this'll deliver. There's plenty of not-precisely-Oreo Oreo flavor that delivers - just the right amount of chocolate amped up by the little choco-bits strewn about, and a good hint of the vanilla creme filling too. What's missing is the full, rich, creaminess from the filling of the cookie - naturally, a little milk helps bring it out, a little, and it totally makes sense why it's not all quite there. It's a pretty good adaptation for what it is. 

Pour some in a bowl and drown in milk, or grab a handful and toss in some yogurt, or just straight mash it down the gullet. it's all good. The granola is pretty filling for what it is, and I'd say it delivers. No real complaints from my lovely bride and I - it's solid, tasty, not quite transcendent, but pretty tasty overall. We're pretty happy here. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 
 

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Brioche Twist

If you're a carnivore, you eat nothing but meat. And what is meat but the muscles of animals? Also, not surprisingly, since "you are what you eat," a strict carnivore's physique generally becomes more and more muscular.

I'm not sure when I first heard it or who coined the word, but one of the funniest food puns I've ever heard is the word "carbivore" to describe those of us who are naturally inclined to breads and other carbohydrates. And unfortunately, carbivores tend to become what they eat as well, and they get a little doughy in the middle.

I must admit, although I'm in a constant battle against my cravings, I'm naturally fairly carbivorous myself. I've never met a piece of brioche toast I didn't like. And this one is no exception—with swirls of pumpkin puree, brown sugar, and pumpkin spice all through it. Yum. This loaf is pre-sliced perfectly for a traditional toaster. Just grab a piece, pull off the wax paper liner, warm it up, add a bit of butter. Perfection.

Again, maybe my critical standards go out the window when carbs are involved. Maybe I'm not thinking clearly, but I just can't think of any complaints. 

Some might say this is just glorified cinnamon bread and they wouldn't be entirely wrong, but the fall-ish flavors are well-balanced—neither too dominant nor too subtle. The texture is soft and supple and the bread just melts in your mouth. I could eat the whole loaf in a single day.

Sonia absolutely loved this product, too. Her only complaint was that the slices might be just a tad too thick, just barely clearing the slots in our toaster, width-wise. Also, she forgot to peel off the liner paper once or twice, so...there's that. She made French toast out of a couple of the pieces and added maple syrup. I'll agree that they were superbly scrumptious, but I'd rather save this brioche bread to eat by itself and have her make French toast out of regular bread.

But I'm getting off track. This is an outstanding fall product by my estimation. I hope it returns next year. $4.49 for about 9 slices. Five stars from me. Four and a half from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salted Maple Ice Cream

Here's the annual reminder that maple shouldn't really be considered a fall flavor. I mean, sure, I get it, maple and maple leaves falling and all that, but maple season is really late winter to early spring when the that magical maple season really is. That's when the sap freely flows and boils down to the delicious syrupy sweet gift from God that is maple. 

Not really gonna complain. Y'all take all the pumpkin spice anything you want, gimme maple any time, any day. 

And now...there's Trader Joe's Salted Maple Ice Cream. 

Oh man. Not gonna lie: it's pretty awesomely terrific. Love a good maple ice cream, like the creamees you can get up in Vermont. Like those, this TJ's offering is soft and creamy, which only adds to the overall richness. The base itself is is very amply maply, with a small touch of sea salt to even kick it a little further up. In our pint, which did not photograph well, there was also a small vein of concentrated maple/salt concoction that chugged it into another gear. 

Every bite is soft, smooth, decadent, sweet, maply and delicious. Almost no complaints at all. 

Except...well...there's an error of omission here. There's just something needed, for a little texture perhaps, something to kinda ground the overall richness. A little something earthy, perhaps. Pecans would be a great choice, but I'd accept small walnut bits, too. It's just that little extra something that's needed to really bring it home. 

Regardless, my lovely bride and I had no issue polishing off a pint in about five minutes, and we'd definitely pick it up again. For $3.49 a carton, it's not a bad price either. Check out the ingredients and nutritional info here. Fantastic, and oh so close to perfect, any time of the year.

Bottom line; Trader Joe's Salted Maple Ice Cream: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookie Mix

Inside sources tell me this cookie mix will be returning to Trader Joe's shelves once again this fall, probably in a matter of days or weeks, so if you were on the fence about purchasing it last year and want to make a more informed decision, this blog post probably won't help you in any way, because I'm still on the fence about it even after purchasing it and making the cookies.

The baking instructions are straightforward enough. Just add butter, water, and an egg to the mix, stir, and bake for a quarter hour at 350°F. They recommend making 24 little balls to place on parchment paper, but we wound up with more like 18.

The cookies came out somewhat crispy around the edges but nice and soft in the middle, the chocolate chunks slightly molten and gooey. There's a chewy, oatmealy essence about the texture, too.

Flavor-wise, they also taste like oatmeal, but you can taste the brown sugar, cinnamon, and other pumpkin spices faintly. I perused a few other reviews of these cookies online and found numerous people stating that theirs were overwhelmingly gingery.

I don't find that with our batch at all. I've often complained about certain products at TJ's having way too much raw ginger flavor that overpowers everything else. With these cookies, I wouldn't mind a tad more ginger, to be honest.

Both Sonia and I are more than happy with the amount of chocolate chunks here. The cookies are plenty sweet overall, too. The dried pumpkin and spices could be a shade more potent, as the chocolate tends to overshadow them. Sonia likes the cookies topped with vanilla ice cream to balance out the chocolate content. I prefer to just wash them down with some cold milk.

$3.99 for the mix. All in all, not a terrible autumn dessert product. Four stars from Sonia. I think she would lean towards saying she'd repurchase them, but in reality will never get around to it because there are way too many other brand new fall items to try (or will be soon). I'll just say I'd eat a few of these cookies again if they were placed in front of me, but I would not seek them out. Three stars from me on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookie Mix.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Banana Pudding Flavored Ice Cream

Ever meet an ice cream you didn't like?

Us neither. 

That being said...some ice cream is much better than others. 

That's pretty much how my lovely bride and I feel about Trader Joe's Banana Pudding Flavored Ice Cream here in the 'burgh. Sandy and I consider ourselves ice cream aficionados and quasi-experts, and there's no doubt we've eaten our fair share, if not much more than that. So please pardon us if we can get a bit picky. 

There's just not quite enough to truly, 100% enjoy this newish pint of ice cream inspired by a classic treat. Banana pudding is decently enjoyable all by itself, but add in things like a salted caramel swirl and wafer cookie dough, it sounds like an almost surefire winner. But it doesn't translate somehow. Maybe it's the extra creaminess, with it being, you know, ice cream, and thus a little extra rich and sweet as far as the banana pudding. That'd be my guess. 

But also the mix-ins don't seem to add quite enough, either. The salted caramel is a bit too bland and basic to add much conrtast, and the wafer is more mushy and nondescript to be of much value, either. Both of those components are just there and that's about all that can be said. So what's left is just this cloying, overly sweet and rich banana taste, without anything to really balance it all out. 

But, well, it's ice cream, so....

Not completely unhappy here, but this won't be a repeat buy. Which is sad, because it sounds so good. Some caramel that slapped a bit more, or maybe some ginger wafer, or something, something to make not so bloatedly banana-y, would really go a long way. But as is, meh.

But at least it's ice cream.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Banana Pudding Flavored Ice Cream: 5 out of 10 Golden Spoons. 

Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Onion Peanuts

Peanuts, meet Trader Joe's Chili Onion Crunch. 

Trader Joe's Chili Onion Crunch, meet peanuts. 

I'm just gonna assume everything worked pretty well between those two, because here, a couple years down the road from their first potential meeting, here's Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Onion Peanuts. 

Peanuts have never been high on my list of nuts of choice. Cashews, pecans, walnuts and even almonds regularly rank higher. And while I had to look back to remember, I wasn't overly fond of the chili onion crunch when first debuted. Maybe the hint we haven't repurchased was a hint. 

So, then, for this new spicy peanuts to be the offspring of a perfect marriage of two otherwise kinda lackluster in my mind ingredients...wow. 

I don't think I can get enough of them. There's a near 99% chance I ate the whole bag myself, I have no shame, and I cannot wait to go back for more. Sure, would it be even better as a cashew or almond? Almost absolutely! But this combination is almost perfect as is. 

All it is, almost obviously, is some roasted peanuts with aplenty chili onion crunch dried and presumably all roasted in, perhaps in the oil itself. This process seems to transform both nut and crunch mix. Most notably, the overly stanky garlickyness I previously associated with the chili onion crunch is gone. Sure, there's still enough garlic to ward off alliumphobes and vampires alike, but it's actually pretty pleasant this time around. 

And the heat - wow. I don't recall the chili onion crunch being nearly this spicy. My spicy scale is slipping as I'm approaching 40, so perhaps this is a bit high for all you whippersnappers out there, but I'd rank the heat around 7 or 8 out of 10, with water being the low end and TJ's bomba sauce being the high end (which is as much as I can not-painfully tolerate most days any more). That's higher than most items out there, for sure, and gets even more intense the closer to the bootm of the bag with all the spicy crunchies at the bottom. Deelish. 

The one thing I'd say though is this: really, added salt? There's enough going on here that added salt isn't a necessity, at least to the degree that above everything else I can taste some strong saltiness. A little sprinkle to help boost all the flavors? Sure. Enough to leave me thirsty and not all because of the spice? Nah, fam. 

Regardless, here's to a snack I hope to routinely stash away and enjoy. A couple small handfuls definitely do the trick, and at $3 or $4 for the half pound bag, it's a decent enough value. Highly recommend. It's really nice to see something together being greater than the sum of its parts - wish there was more of that around. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Crunchy Chili Onion Peanuts: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

 

Trader Joe's Mini Meyer Lemon Biscotti

Trader Joe's will make a coffee drinker out of me yet if they keep putting out delicious flavors of biscotti. Apparently, this one's been around for a while. Not sure why it took us so long to actually purchase it, but here are our thoughts...

Very hard. They really need to be paired with coffee. I suppose tea or hot chocolate might work, too, but they have to have a hot beverage to really permeate their inner layers. I tried a couple with cold milk and it just didn't work. I mean, flavor-wise it was fine, but the biscotti were still too hard.

Like Sonia, I think most people will be perfectly happy with how lemony these biscotti are. I, however, always want more lemon flavor—or in this case Meyer lemon flavor—in pretty much everything. Still, there's a respectable amount of lemon, which I appreciate. I can't tell whether the zig-zaggy icing is lemon flavored as well or if it's just sugary sweet. I suppose it's there more for the visuals than any actual flavor.

The miniature size is fun and convenient. They're still long enough to get pretty far down into your coffee mug, and their texture is just about perfect once they've sopped up a bunch of warm java—almost like a fresh-baked cookie, but wetter.

$3.99 for 16 miniature sticks of biscotti, which apparently equals eight servings. We'd probably buy again. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Watermelon & Peach Macarons

 

Macron.

Macarons.

Macaroni. 

Macaroons. 

It's my lovely bride's pettiest of pet peeves. Sure, it's easy to not confuse your kid's Krafty craving with the president of France, but call a macaron a macaroon near her, or macaroon a macaron? Or try to insist they're both the same things, or have the same name? No. No no no. It'll set her off in no time flat. Just don't. 

Especially when you could instead be using that time to munch down on some fun new summery looking treats from TJ's...like the new Trader Joe's Watermelon & Peach Macarons.

Fortunately, these are two different flavors. Watermelon and peach are separately delicious but would presumably make odd flavor bedfellows.  Maybe it could get pulled off, I wouldn't want to discourage such innovation, but still.let's do these one at a time. 

First, the watermelon one. Kinda obviously, it's the somewhat sickly looking greenish one. The color of it is nowehere near as vibrant as the packaging indicates, which kinda sets the mood. First bite in is fairly bland, and it's not until some of the flavor pops from the filling that there's much of anything going on. Also kinda obviously, the watermelon flavor toes towards being oversweet and super sugary, which should be anticipated because 1) it's a cookie and 2) that's just how most watermelon flavored things go. It's why we as a family tend to like plain ol' watermelon, for its natural tastiness, than anything watermelon flavored. It just dpoesn't translate well more times than not. 

As for the peach, it's the better of the pair. A little too sugary, sure, but it remains in bounds. Peach works better for cookies and treats. It's not really fair, but it just does. Plenty sweet, a touch tart, and about right as expected. No complaints there. 

Both varieties suffer the same flaw, though. texturewise, yeesh. Both the shells aren't as crisp and puffy, and the fillngs are not as creamy and more gummy than they should be. This is after following the instructions to let thaw at room temp for an hour. Maybe some more time would have fixed them up better, but there didn't seem to much hope for radical improvement upon our bite. Frozen macarons will never compare to fresh, sure, but one could wish these would be a closer approximation. 

Anyways, the package of 10 teeny tiny bite sized ones run a couple bucks and make for an okay enough treat. Maybe my lovely bride and I will get these macaroons for a picnic up in Cooks Forest, near where she went to college...ok, that's mean, I definitely meant macarons and Cook Forest, just had to get her twice there. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Watermelon & Peach Macarons: 5 out of 10 Golden Spoons   

Trader Joe's Chili Pineapple Kettle Popcorn

Another week, another shopping trip, another time TJ's is upping the summer snack game. Salsa verde chips? So delicious...but so last week. 

This week: Trader Joe's Chili Pineapple Kettle Popcorn. I mean...wow. 

Spice and pineapple aren't new bed partners by any stretch. Just at TJ's they've had spiced dry pineapple and pineapple BBQ sauce around for a while, though maybe the sauce has been DC'ed? Anyways, this isn't exactly a new innovation, except that now, it's in popcorn form. 

There's a lot going on here, and it's hard to wrap the tastebuds around it all. First off, make no mistake: this is some seriously sugary stuff. Glancing at the label and doing some easy math, this popcorn is literally half straight up added sugar...and that tastes like an understatement. I swear I could almost see Wilfred Brimley packing up a box for me, it's so sugary. There's no getting around that. But then all the other flavors begin coming up - some heat from paprika, a hefty dose of tangy lime, a little faint pineapple, another hefty swoon of sugar and little salt to boot too. I've read some other reviews that liken the overall flavor to being a spicy Froot Loop - I don't entirely agree but I can see where that assessment is coming from. There's certainly enough sugar for that claim, but not quite enough overall froot, er, fruit, and the spice, while present, isn't exactly overpowering. It's sugar and lime more than anything else.

Every bite is perfectly munchable though. The popcorn is liberally coated with the dusting of all those flavors, and is slightly crunchy with all that sugar. Underneath, the poofed-up kernels are soft and pillowy and inviting. It's a fun texture, which more than anything else kinda makes me want to eat the whole bag...well, that, and still trying to figure out all the flavors...

That's the thing, though. There's not really enough pineapple to really tout its presence as a titular ingredient, not when there's so much lime and sugar and everything else when pineapple is fifth highest, at most, on the flavor profile. At the same time, I'm glad not even more sugar was added to try to amp up the pineapple, but I just wish it had more pineapple to it, even if everything else had to be taken down a slight notch. 

Regardless, this will be a summer snackin' fave, I'm sure of it. Unless something else comes along...off to a strong start here this summer, TJ's, keep it coming. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Chili Pineapple Kettle Popcorn: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons. 

Trader Joe's Salsa Verde Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips

 It's July...time to spice it up with your summer snackin', don't you think?

Chips and salsa are a classic staple, but if the heat's making you too lazy to dip (been there), but you still want all the flavor, look no further than Trader Joe's Salsa Verde Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips.

Seriously, these chips. Amazing. Imagine all the good, vibrant flavors of a good salsa verde. A little onion, a little garlic, some fresh tomatillo, a good dose of lime, a little heat of pepper...if that doesn't make your math water, there's something wrong with you. But instead of a chip and salsa, it's just a chip. Nothing more, nothing less. 

That's exactly how these new salsafied tortilla chips are. Super firm, a little thick, incredibly crunchy, and oiberally coated every square micrometer with salsa verde in dusty form, these chips pack a snack punch that I haven't had in quite some time. It's almost transcendent. I love them, and as any good flavored chip, the more you eat, the more the flavor intensifies. I don't think I've ever had a chip that's held any more flavor, ever, of any kind, than these. Chip technology is being pushed to the cutting edge, it seems. 

Really, I have no real complaints, at all, except that maybe there's a splash too much vinegar here that amps up the sour acidity just a wee bit much. A lime can really do that on its own, or at least not seem as forced. It's not overly distracting, but it does stray towards a bit much. As do i here by trying to find a fault. 

Delicious chips. We bought them less than 24 hours ago and they're nearly gone. The flavor intensity is just so inviting and delicious, and not offputting at all - heck, my kids who are normally kinda wusses when it comes to these kinda things can chow them down like a boss. 

No dips needed to enjoy - that honestly may distract from the real flavor here. But you could convince me to try a little sour cream or guacamole here. If you really want tastebud overload, pair a handful of these chippies with a glassful of the mango jalapeno lemonade. That'll get your knees knocking. 

Love 'em, no complaints from anyone here. Absolute repeat buy. Can't stop til I get enough. Perfect fives. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Salsa Verde Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips: 10 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Caramel Coated Popcorn

It's officially summer now, and I'm generally in the mood for cold treats like popsicles and ice cream, iced beverages, and an occasional salty snack like chips, nuts, or popcorn. Snacks like chocolate, peanut butter, and caramel corn are too oily and melty and just don't appeal to me during these warmer months. So neither the name nor the packaging of this product seemed particularly enticing to this guy. Maybe I'd steer towards it in the fall, but not during this week of the summer solstice and now almost heading into July.

But our Trader Joe's clerk enthusiastically endorsed it. I might have put up a fight, but Sonia had already grabbed a bag and was excited to take Frankie's recommendation. And now that I've tried it, I get it.

There's really no caramel in this product at all. And for that, I'm thankful. The peanut butter coating is so perfect, it's hard to describe. It completely coats the surface of each and every piece of popcorn, and yet it's not overly thick or oily or heavy-handed in any way.

The "caramel" is just cane sugar and tapioca syrup. Some caramel is made with heavy cream and butter, but other caramel is just heated sugar. Since this product is vegan, we're looking at the latter option here. It just adds a nice level of sweetness that popcorn and peanut butter by themselves wouldn't otherwise have.

So the dominant flavor is peanut butter, with a nice bit of salty and sweet, all riding in the vehicle of perfectly-popped, round, crunchy pieces of popcorn. Surprisingly good. Addictive. If you like the flavor of peanut butter and the texture of popcorn, then this product is worth a try.

Four and a half stars from me since I'm a sucker for anything with peanut butter done the right way. Four from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cashew Butter Cashews

Let's do a quick little break down here, to see where exactly all of this begins to go completely wrong. 

First, the name. Trader Joe's Cashew Butter Cashews. Trader Joe's, cashew butter, and cashews. Man, we're quick off the line here - that sounds delicious!

Let's move to the description: "Honey roasted cashews." Oh yes please! But then..."covered in a sweetened (ruhroh) cashew butter coating (more ruhroh)."

Obviously the ruhrohs were added for dramatic effect. Would be bad marketing otherwise. 

Let's look at the ingredients then, to maybe deduce more of what's goin' on. First off, there's that "cashew butter coating" again. Not just cashew butter, it's cashew butter coating. Which means taking perfectly good cashew butter and adding dry milk, a load of sugar (6g in a 30g serving - they're 20% sugar!), a bunch of palm oil...and all that before even a mention of cashews. 

And to go really wrong...just take a bite. 

Imagine Reese's making a candy coated cashew snack, it gets hugely popular, then there's a dollar store knockoff coming around. I'd imagine these nuts would taste almost exactly like that. They're annoyingly sweet, in a fake amped kinda way, which detracts so hard from anything resembling the natural earthy goodness of a good cashew. I don't taste honey or cashew, I taste plain ol' sugar and cream with a vague hint of nut. There's barely even the crunch or bite of a good roasted cashew. It's just sugar blobs. 

Part of me will admit that the cashew butter cashews are kinda good in a somewhat trashy/junkfood way...but that's not what I wanted here. I wanted good in a wholesome way. And maybe that's the biggest thing wrong here: being too attached to my own expectations. Kinda funny how often that's the case. 

For what it's worth, my lovely bride and I balance each other out here. She loves 'em, for that junk food-y candyish vibe. She picks up a bit more of the saltiness and nuttiness than I do, too. Me? Man, there's just some better ways to make a healthier snack here. Honey roasted cashew, a drier style cashew butter and maybe some ground cashews to dust off the outer layer? Come on, that sounds delicious! 

Anyways, she'll four them up. That's way too high in my book, and I'll go lower than intended to help balance out. Can't go wrong that way. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cashew Butter Cashews: 5 out of 10 Golden Spoons
 

Trader Joe's Peanuts in a Pickle

In case you forgot to pick up a bag of plain peanuts and a shaker of Seasoning in a Pickle on your last Trader Joe's run, no worries. TJ's has your back. They've gone and mixed pickle flavors into peanuts for you. It's almost as if they tried mixing the aforementioned pickle seasoning blend with peanuts and realized it's absurdly messy. And it's not only messy, but not enough seasoning sticks to the nuts. So they went and...I honestly don't know what they did. I think they actually pickled these nuts! <reaches down inside and finds the restraint to avoid any juvenile "deez nuts" jokes>

The back of the bag gives us hints but no real answers. It's says the peanuts are "infused" with pickle flavor. Later on in the spiel, they use the word "imbued." It mentions there's no powder in the equation. It's true. There's not. And the nuts aren't oily at all, either. They might even be less oily than regular peanuts somehow. Sonia kept remarking how dry they were. But they certainly have a pickle taste to them.

At first, we both thought the pickle flavor was a little on the weak side, but then after a few handfuls, we felt the briny pickliness build up on our tongues. I might not have minded a bit more pickle taste, but Sonia was pleased with the intensity of the flavor.

They actually look identical to regular Virginia peanuts. There's no green color, no visible flecks of dill, nothing. Just like they can edit genomes and create plants that yield more fruit or be drought-resistant or whatever, I think maybe they spliced some DNA and cross-bred peanuts with pickles to make these. <Cue comments where people tell me pickles are just pickled cucumbers and that pickles don't have their own genetic code blah blah blah yadda yadda science science science>

$2.49 for the bag. Sonia likes them more than I do and would buy them again. I'm on the fence. Four stars from her. Three from me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hula Cruncha

 Not too get too "real world"-y here, as usually we're more of a break from it than anything else, but there's no denying there's shortages of all sorts of stuff these days. And for a few minutes, in the absolutely most benignly and unimportant of ways, I thought those shortages had reached their way right into my bag of the new Trader Joe's Hula Cruncha. 

Namely...all this popcorn...but where's the rice crackers?!?!?!?!

Fortunately, after some mining and creative digging, finally I hit the rice cracker paydirt. All these various sized sticks and chunks and orbs had somehow all settled their way to the bottom. So, mental note for next time, give a sealed bag a good shake to make it all a little more even. 

And there definitely will be a next time. 

It's an interesting snack mix, this Hula Cruncha. Quite honestly I can say I've never had anything quite like it. The closest I can relate it to is another TJ's product, the Synergistically Seasoned Popcorn. Even that's not quite right, as it's a different flavor profile, but it's similar in that each bite seems to hit a little differently, with accentuating a different spice or taste combo. There's a soft, somewhat muted sweetness that's absolutely more soy derived than sugary. Also, a healthy dose of vinegar adds a pretty decent tang quotient. But then...I mean...just look at all the spices and everything listed in the ingredients. Some bites there's all of them, some only a few, some heavier on the cayenne or pepper or rosemary. And last but not least, there's plenty of nori specks here, there and everywhere that a little umami-licious touch. It's really quite something. 

Once you finally get to the rice crackers, it's a really fun crunch too. The different shapes and sizes of those crunchers are a fun change up from the reliable yet unremarkable popcorn poofiness. 

In all, it's just one of those snacks that even though I'm still grasping my tastebuds around it all, there's really nothing wrong and plenty that seems just right. 

Go get some and don't short yourself! $3ish for the bag. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Hula Cruncha: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Strawberry Lemonade Joe-Joe's

 

Somewhat disappointingly, no, it's not a first. 

For a hot minute I thought that the Trader Joe's Strawberry Lemonade Joe-Joe's were the first non-chocolate Joe-Joe's. There's been numerous variations over the years, but they all had chocolate, right? or so I thought before consulting the Google machine. Apparently there's been all-vanilla Joe-Joe's, but let's be honest, how would those be memorable? And a little over five years ago (which seems several lifetimes) there was a matcha variation reviewed right here on this very blog. That sounds....odd. Thanks Nathan for taking on that one.

Huh. Well, okay, let's re-spin this then....how about the first Joe-Joe that I'd be eager to try that doesn't incorporate any chocolate? Unless there's some other type out there from over the years...anyways...

Strawberries and lemonade, a classic pairing. Sweet and tangy, it's a flavor combo that screams summer. Granted, that's usually in a tall icy glass, but here it's the classic sandwich crème cookie form. And not surprisingly, it works well.

Off the bat, the most prevalent flavor by far is the strawberry creme. It's rich and sugary and sweet, just like a good creme for a cookie should be. There could be a little more actual strawberry to it IMHO, but what's there works well. The "lemonade" is all from the cookies. At first bite, it's not all that present and is more overwhelmed by the strawberry, but about midway through first bite is when it begins to really kick in and offer more balance. The end result is a tasty, tangy, sweet little offering of a delicious drink, but in familiar, comfortable cookie form. Deeeelish. 

No real complaints, except I want to eat more than just two of them, to just enjoy a little bit more of that final taste combo. My lovely bride and I plan to hide the box out of sight and reach from our little never-ending wild pack of little munchers who'd surely ravage the entire box if given the chance...that sounds cruel of us to do. We'll enjoy that, or just grab them another pack for the $2.99 next time we go. 

Summer fun in cookie form. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Strawberry Lemonade Joe-Joe's: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.