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Friday, March 26, 2021

Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snack

In my 38.5 years on this crazy planet, I've had many, many snacks. You name it, I've had it, most likely. 

I've also had plenty of crazy thoughts. Like thinking I looked good in those purple shorts back in middle school, or any other number I've had, most of them I dare not admit here. 

But never, not once, have my snacking and scheming ways crossed streams and converged into the thought of "Hey, what I really wanna snack on right now is a crispy mushroom."

You neither? Shocking. 

But hey, that's why things like Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snacks exist: because others dream just a little bit more, are a bit more creative, or just have different, kinda odd cravings. Thank God for all that. 

As may imagine, a crispy mushroom makes a bit of an odd snack. I hesitate to also call them crunchy as advertised, because it just seems a little inaccurate. The slices are vacuum fried, dried and salted, which leaves a perpetually crunchy outside but leaves the inside a soft baked feel. Like, it's absolutely not crunchy, but not soft and fleshy like an average musroom slice. It's just light and airy and, well, crispy. No other great word for it. It's kinda a fun bite and different than chips or popcorn or any other typical kinda snack. 

My lovely bride, whose sense of taste is still slowly returning after a COVID bout, kept marveling at "the seasoning" on the mushrooms. This is even after I told her a couple times that there's only salt and oil added. There's no extra umami-sprinkle or anything fancy you can do with mushrooms, although that'd be a fun touch. Nah, just salt and 'shroom, and I guess maybe somehow she can taste that better than i can, because to me it's a plain salty taste. Sure, there's a smidge of earthiness from the fungal base, but it's nothing overly flavorful, to me at least, although i too could be a bit hampered. 


In all, it's a light, kinda fun, different snack that probably has a few other applications. Sprinkling some on a salad wouldn't be a horrible idea, and maybe some kinds of soup as well like tomato. No word on if the crispy integrity would hold on up in those scenarios. Or maybe add as ingredient into a savory snack mix. . 

A one serving (!) bag costs $3.99, which may or may not mirror market price of mushrooms so well...I don't keep on tulip bulbs and porkbellies and all that, so judge for yourself. it's a buy I'd make again but am not in a huge rush to - just not so crazy for this snack. Double threes. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snack: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons
 

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Ginger + Lemon Apple Cider Vinegar Beverage

Sonia got me into the habit of drinking a bit of Bragg's apple cider vinegar each day. You know, the kind with "your mother." Or maybe it's "the mother," but I prefer to say it incorrectly on purpose because I like to keep it comedic like that. Anyway, I must admit, I feel better when I have it than when I don't. There's a definite cleansing effect, and I feel more energized and balanced, and I'm pretty sure it helps keep my system alkalized.

The only problem with ACV? The taste. It's awful. Sonia likes to mix hers with a full glass of water and slowly sip on the concoction for the better part of a half hour, puckering a couple dozen times and wincing repeatedly, dragging out the displeasure as long as possible. I simply pound my shot of ACV in one giant gulp and chase it with a can of sparkling water. I might squeal like a whiny child for a few moments, but I do my best to get it over with as quickly as possible. You might have guessed it already, but I'm definitely a "rip the band-aid off" kinda guy, and the wifey is a "pull it off slowly" kinda gal.

So obviously, my apprehension about this product is that it's basically mimicking Sonia's method of drinking ACV. It'll be less disgusting than drinking actual ACV, but that doesn't mean it won't be...you know, kinda disgusting. Now, I'd never consider ACV a beverage. It's more of a homeopathic medicine if you ask me. So something like this should at least be drinkable and palatable if they're going to put the word "beverage" on it. Otherwise, I'd more heavily factor into the equation the health benefits of such a product. 

The very similar Apple Cider Drinking Vinegar reviewed by the Shelly fam looked more medicinal by virtue of it coming in a glass bottle, rather than a slender pop-top aluminum can. That one looked more like Trader Joe's Drinkable Snake Oil. This one looks just like a Trader Joe's brand Red Bull, or one of those fruity sparkling beverages that comes in a four pack from TJ's. 

I must admit, it masks the intense sourness of the apple cider vinegar pretty well. The ginger and lemon combo is a great choice. Ginger adds a wave of rooty spice that covers up the underlying medicinal flavors, and the lemon adds a more pleasant sourness than that of ACV. Both the ginger spice and lemon sourness are bordering on "too intense" if you ask me, but neither crosses the line. There's apple juice in there, too, to balance everything out with a little sweetness. Also, carbonation always makes beverages more fun for some reason. This wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable if it were flat.

$1.69 for the can. It's probably not something I'd buy to chug alongside my lunch or anything like that, but considering it packs a full tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, we were both surprised with its agreeable taste. Three and a half stars from me. Four and a half stars from the beautiful Sonia.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Trader Joe's Organic Banana Fruit Spread

Hello friends! Last week was a bit of a tough week for the Western Pennsylvania division of the WGaTJ's-writin' team, and it's good to be back. Both my lovely bride and I came down with a case of the 'rona and were basically knocked out of commission for a few days. Thankfully, we're almost fully recovered by now. Big thanks to those crazy lovebirds Nathan and Sonia for holding down the fort once again while we were more squarely on the mend. 

It's not to say we're completely symptom free right now. My tastebuds still aren't working quite right. Everything tastes okay...but nothing tastes good. Coffee just tastes all around awful, as if I'm having it for the first time again. Of course, this is better than how Sandy is doing - she can barely smell and her sense of taste  is slowly crawling back from completely on its way to mostly dead. 

So in other words, it's baby steps from here back to full hitpoints. We'll take it. 

And if you're taking baby steps, you may as well eat baby food. 

I've heard Trader Joe's Organic Banana Fruit Spread referred to as rather baby food-esque in other social media I've been scrolling through. Didn't know if to believe it or not, or if so if TJ's could do themselves a marketing favor by slapping a baby kangaroo on the label and rebranding it as "Trader Joey's."

Nah, they shouldn't. There's too much added sugar for that. 

Really, all this spread is made of is banana, sugar and pectin. It' soft and spreadable like a nonchunky jam. The spread is smooth and even, with an odd kinda sheen to it, that definitely evokes professionally mashed banana. It's wholly a bit familiar and odd at once. 

And as may have to be my disclaimer over the next few weeks, my taste may be a bit askew but all I can taste is banana with added sugar. The result isn't candylike, like a banana runt, but still the sweetness of a banana amped up while the other features are left in check. It seems a bit off, and not, for me, 100% enjoyable. I tried some by itself, and on a waffle with a little peanut butter and chocolate chip, and both times I came to the conclusion I would have preferred a plainer, more natural banana flavor. but I guess then TJ's wouldn't have much of a product to sell, so maybe this just isn't for me. 

Our kids will probably go ape for it though, and in the end the 'nana spread seems to be a relatively alright jar of jam or jelly, so if they like it, full speed ahead, ya little monsters. 

I'm a solid meh. Sandy, with her zero taste right now, doesn't have much of an opinion but noted it does have a pleasing enough texture at the very least. Put as down as a meh for both how we're feeling and how we're rating this product, and we''ll be glad to revisit later. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Banana Fruit Spread: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

 

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