Trader Joe's Chimichurri Sauce

So...this stuff is basically just pureed cilantro. Fortunately, both the beautiful wifey and I like cilantro. Although, every time it comes up in conversation, I think of Fry's highly accurate summation of Los Angeles from an old episode of Futurama and I have to laugh.

I mean, there's parsley and oil and some spices in there too, but if you don't like cilantro, it's a safe bet you won't like this. Speaking of oil, one of the oils is canola oil. When I see that on an ingredients list, I simply shrug my shoulders and buy it anyway, but I know there are folks out there who will outright condemn this product's existence due to the presence of canola oil. I guess Trader Joe's and their suppliers have their reasons.

I think the product adds a nice herbaceous flair to any dish you might want to spruce up a bit. I stole the word "herbaceous" from the packaging because...well, because it's accurate. I can't think of a more fitting word. It's not really spicy, per se. The garlic in there is subtle. I guess it's also slightly "tangy," with maybe a hint of "savory," which is also mentioned right on the front of the tub.

Pureed plant bits and oil don't really add or subtract much from the texture of any dish. It's just a nice soft green mush. We've tried it with shredded chicken and onions yet again, and it works very well with that. It seems versatile enough. I'd try it with fish for sure. I think it might even be a nice addition to potatoes, pasta, or roast beef.

At $3.99 for 8 oz, it's not the best value for a condiment at TJ's, but it's not outrageous either. Just a few spoonfuls goes a long way. Would probably purchase again. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salsa de Cacahuate

The other day I was thinking about how much I loved delicious, spicy salsas and how lucky I was to have married a woman that can make hot southern Mexican dishes for me once in a while. Then my thoughts wandered to peanut butter. There's nothing more American than a good, old-fashioned jar of peanut butter, I mused.

Then I thought...if only I lived in a world where some culinary genius had mixed spicy Mexican salsa with peanut butter. I mentioned my silly daydream to the beautiful wifey, and she informed me that not only did such a substance exist, but that we had actually picked some up on our last Trader Joe's run and there was a jar of it sitting right in our pantry.

I was overjoyed. I asked, "Why didn't you tell me this stuff had peanut butter in it?" She replied, "I thought you knew."

The salsa base is made with guajillo chile peppers. We recently looked at Trader Joe's Guajillo Salsa, and it was a definite thumbs up. I, personally, like this salsa even more. Have I mentioned there's peanut butter in it??

We heated up some shredded chicken and onions on the stove top, added a few spoonfuls of this salsa, and tasted it. Magic. I found myself dumping even more of the salsa on my portion of the chicken. 

It was very similar to a chicken mole dish, but with a brighter, fruitier flavor. There's tomato puree and tomato paste in this salsa and even some lime juice. The spice level is comparable to the above-mentioned guajillo salsa, medium-hot, but it's tempered slightly by the peanut butter.

Sonia definitely enjoyed it, but I think she's a bit more of a guajillo purist than I am. Four stars from her. This peanut butter aficionado gives it a perfect 5 stars, although I should mention it's not the type of salsa I'd gravitate toward for simple chip dipping. Would definitely buy again to cook with shrimp or chicken.

$2.99 for 12 oz.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ube Spread

 

Ube? Oh boy. 

Purplepotatopalooza is apparently continuing at your local neighborhood TJ's, this time around with Trader Joe's Ube Spread.

Not sure what to expect outta ube in spread form? Don't worry, I wasn't either. Going into this, I could see it going any number of ways, some way more delectable than others. 

Fortunately it seems TJ's nailed it. Admittedly, I was more concerned about texture than taste. The ube spread is surprisingly smooth, akin to perhaps a slightly firmer apple butter-like consistency. There's a small amount of starchiness to it, but no overt graininess or grittiness. Instead, unlike my high school personality, it's just cool and smooth, and easy spreadable. There's even a little melty butteriness to it that was brought out when spread on some hot-off -the-griddle pancakes.

And taste? It's just about right.  There's enough sugar in there to sway more towards a sweet or dessertlike flavor, and not perhaps not quite as savory. Still, it's not quite overkill. The coconut cream is present and adds a nice little balance, and perhaps adds to that slightly buttery kinda feel...even though there's actual butter butter in there too...how is this stuff only 3g of fat per 18g serving? That's kinda mysterious. 

Anyways, if you like ube, you'll like this alkmost guaranteed. We'll be using it on toast and waffles and pancakes and all sorts of things like that. The jar suggests also ice cream - I wonder if using it on something chilly would somehow be different. Have experience with that? Share away. The jar was only about $3 or $4 and seems about right, and worthy of repeat purchases. Yum yum. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Ube Spread: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Non-Dairy Oat Creamer

Sonia is the designated coffee drinker in our household. I'll partake of the stuff out of necessity, or just once in a blue moon to change things up a bit. By and large, though, I'm an energy drink guy. 

Despite the wife's affinity for java, she's never really been a "black coffee" girl. She's gotta have her half and half or at least some type of non-dairy substitute. If we wake up in the morning and Sonia discovers we're out of coffee creamer...well, let's just say that's not a good start to the day for our family. As American women go, Sonia's among the least pampered and non-divalike I've ever known, but woe unto you if you used up the half and half the night before and didn't make a late night convenience store run to replace it.

So it's good we had some of this Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Non-Dairy Oat Creamer on hand the last time that happened. Sonia says this version is both sweeter and creamier than any other oat-based creamer she's ever had. She's tried at least three other brands: Califia Farms, Elmhurst, and Coffee Mate Natural Bliss. I'm sure I've tried at least one of those others, but it certainly didn't stand out as super-delicious or life-changing in any way. Sonia says other oat-based creamers seem much more watery than this Trader Joe's selection.

There really is a whisper of actual brown sugar flavor in this creamer. Mostly, it's just sweet, but there is some brown sugar in the ingredients and you can taste it ever so slightly. It's also got that faint nutty oaty wholesomeness that other oat creamers do.

As far as the creaminess is concerned, some extra thickness might be due at least in part to the presence of pea protein and/or the controversial ingredient: sunflower oil. I keep hearing from more and more sources that sunflower oil—and all seed oils in general—are carcinogenic and shouldn't be consumed at all, or at least not in large quantities. If you do an internet search, you'll find plenty of articles about the potential dangers of seed oils, along with dissenting opinions, and there's at least one piece about this product in particular. I'm no food scientist, and Big Seed Oil hasn't sent me any "financial incentives" to promote their products just yet...so I'll just leave it at that for now.

We're looking at about two bucks for 16 oz of vegan-friendly creamer. Possibly a repeat purchase for the beautiful wifey. Four stars from Sonia. Three from me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Seasoning in a Pickle

 

Pickles! Love 'em? Well, here's definitely something for you - Trader Joe's Seasoning in a Pickle. Make anything taste like a pickle!

This is one of those items I swear has been around for ever...but if it had we surely would have reviewed it by now, so it must not be...but I swear it must not be new....even though it apparently is....I guess it's just one of those things that made way too much sense to not exist that it's presence is taken almost for granted. 

I mean...TJ's Popcorn in a Pickle was a big dill, er, deal way back in *checks notes*....2015? That's like a lifetime ago! Last year brought us many things, but thankfully one of them was TJ's Chips in a Pickle. Now, finally, in 2022, this? This is one slow developing trilogy here. 

Anyways, want to make anything, not just not snack food, taste like a pickle? You're in luck! If you've previously procured those pre-mentioned picklish products, imagine the same taste in a seasoning blend. That's precisely what we got going on here. There's plenty of salt, naturally, and vinegar and dill and a wee touch of garlic and everything. I hate to use the same words as the packaging, but "bite" and "tang" really do sum it up well. It's everything a pickle can be minus the liquid part of the brine and cucumber. Plenty potent - just a dab will do ya, so sprinkle on with care. 

My only qualm is questioning its utilization. I mean, I like pickles aplenty, but I don't necessarily want everything and anything to taste like one, sure. Could put some on some veggies, I guess, right? And of course, there's always popcorn - thanks, TJ's for that idea. But what else? I'm sure my pickle-obsessed kiddos can come up with some ideas, but I'm not sure how many of them would actually be good ones...for some reason I can hear them saying "oatmeal" and that's a hard no from me. Maybe I'm struggling creatively right now and y'all can fill me in. 

Grab one if you feel so inclined. I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure it's in the $3ish range. Dillicious. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Seasoning in a Pickle: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Truffle Flavored BBQ Sauce

Apparently my lawn has a lot of moisture in it, because this spring a large patch of mushrooms decided to sprout out. Was eyeballing it the other night when I was grilling out again...which made me question my use of condiments.

Yup, it was Trader Joe's Truffle Flavored BBQ Sauce. 

Sure, whatever fungi is afoot in my frontier is favorited to be funky than fancy and frankly not fit for food, but still. 

Anyways, as for the barbeque sauce, I had mixed hopes. Truffles can easily go either way for me, and sometimes make my mouth itch. Still, I was intrigued enough to give it a try.

As it turns out, I need not worry too much about the presence of truffles here...because there's not much more than a palpable hint of them in this new sauce. Seriously, it's just enough to be tasted, and not much else. The trufflometer certainly doesn't go sky high here. There's just enough of that familiar umamilicious essence to be noticeable and discernible, but not enough to take over. 

The remainder of the sauce seems to be a pretty basic Kansas City-type recipe - a little smoky, a little sweet, a touch of spice. It's kinda thick and rich and a touch gloopy. The truffles do add a nice little touch to the flavor, and it works together well, but some of the sweetness seems to cover up the truffles. Honestly, a little more truffle wouldn't have hurt. 

Or...maybe I'm a mad man...but something like a more mustard-y BBQ base, like Carolina style sauce, with truffle added? I can see that being anywhere from 0 to 11 on the ol' Golden Spoon chart, but I'd definitely have to find out, and would think it'd be a more intriguing choice than the "standard" TJ's went with here. 

Don't love it, don't hate it, will definitely use what I got and see where my hand reaches next time I wander near the sauce shelf. Use as you would with BBQ sauce of course. I think it was pretty cheap for the small bottle - in the $3ish range - so worth the gamble if you can tolerate truffles even a little, because thats about what you're gonna get.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Truffle Flavored BBQ Sauce: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's The Spice Market

Lucky me. Three fifths of this review is already written. Here are the relevant links:

Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Sesame Seasoning Blend

Trader Joe's Chile Lime Seasoning Blend

Trader Joe's Everything but the Elote Seasoning Blend

Apparently the other two spices from this multi-pack are exclusive to this product. They are Trader Joe's Cocoa Cinnamon Sugar Blend and Trader Joe's Spicy Italian Style Sprinkle. Let's take a look at both.

First up, the cocoa cinnamon sugar dealie. I like it. It makes a killer cinnamon toast with a twist. Just add butter to plain toasted bread and a generous dusting of this stuff. Cinnamon toast with a bit of a chocolate flair. Beautiful. Sprinkle on plain oatmeal for a sweet breakfast treat. The kids wanted Death By Chocolate brand cereal but you've only got the plain stuff? Trader Joe's Cocoa Cinnamon Sugar Blend to the rescue.

Next, the Italian sprinkles. The base is really just salt and pepper. Pretty safe. But it would also be pretty boring if it stopped there. The medley of garlic, paprika, rosemary, and fennel, among others, really takes this stuff to the next level. It can turn any ordinary savory dish into an authentic Italian cuisine experience. I just had some with a cheesy spinach and onion omelette, and it was decidedly tasty. The spices added more than I expected them to.

$9.99 for three very popular Trader Joe's spices and two that you can't buy outside of this pack. The spices are $1.99 each when purchased individually, so you're not really saving money, but you're not losing any either. The presentation is pretty sweet, and this product would make an outstanding gift, particularly for anyone who cooks a lot but doesn't have regular access to a Trader Joe's store. If scoring the two exclusive blends individually, they'd get 7.5 stars and 8 stars, respectively. If you average out all the scores for all five spice blends, they're a solid 8 stars at least. So...that's it for Trader Joe's The Spice Market Set of Curated Unique Blends.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Guajillo Salsa

In almost 1,750 posts, the only other time the word "guajillo" was ever mentioned on this blog was during a review of chili flavored chocolates. I'm not really familiar with this particular breed of chili pepper, but the beautiful wifey is. She grew up with it. Her mom, in particular, would seek out the actual peppers themselves at markets in Southern California and eat them with her meals.

In the same way that chipotle peppers are the ripened, dried form of jalapeños, guajillos are the dried form of mirasol chilis. With significantly lower scoville heat units associated with them than, say, ghost chili peppers, they still pack a significant kick and deliver a lot of flavor in every bite. This salsa is no exception.

While Sonia can to some degree vouch for its authentic flavor, I can only give you my raw, uncensored—and admittedly uneducated—opinion. It's got an earthy, smoky flavor. It's rich and dark, both in appearance and flavor. There's almost something lightly fruity about it, too. It's easy to see how this flavor blended so well with chocolate. Plus, the medium heat level is just about perfect for Sonia and me.

Texture-wise, there's a smooth base with a moderate amount of chunks. Pretty sure most of the chunks are tomatoes. Still, they give the salsa a welcome heartiness and thickness.

I think this salsa shines brightest when mixed into Mexican or Tex-Mex dishes. It's adequate for a simple "chips and salsa" snack, but there's something about the flavor that enhances the taste of everything around it. It goes especially well with beans. We made turkey tacos with black beans, sour cream, and this salsa, and they were amazing.

While this isn't the first salsa I'd turn to for a stand-alone snack, I must admit it's great for adding flavor to Latin cuisine. Sonia loves it in every application, including just "chips and salsa." $2.79 for the 12oz jar. Perfect five stars from the beautiful wifey. Four stars from me.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Poppy Seed Dressing

I want to throw this question out there for our readers: is canola oil healthy or not? I mean, I don't know. I don't have a horse in this race. I know at least one or two of our readers have expressed concerns over it in the past, stating that they would not purchase any products containing canola oil. Well, it's the first​ ingredient in this product.

I know there are other controversial substances that I do have an opinion about: high fructose corn syrup, for example. My sensitive system tells me that stuff is a no go. I can have a small amount once in a while and not suffer any major consequences, but regular fountain sodas are absolutely off-limits for me these days.

My body seems to be fine with canola oil, but that doesn't mean there aren't some kind of long term consequences going on behind the scenes. I found a number of "alternative" sites claiming that canola oil can cause everything from inflammation to cancer. On the other hand, it seems like all of the "official" state-sponsored, Ministry of Truth-approved sources say that canola oil is just hunky-dory—organizations like Mayo Clinic and Harvard University. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

Normally, that alone would make me automatically suspicious of the substance in question, but since my body isn't sensitive to it...I just don't know. So if you, our readers, have an opinion about canola oil one way or the other, I'd love to hear about it in the comments below. That said, let's look at this poppyseed dressing.

It's surprisingly sweet. It's a tad tangy. If I were trying it in a blind taste test, I might think it was a honey mustard dressing of some kind. You can see, feel, and taste the poppy seeds. They add some texture and nuttiness to the equation. The mouthfeel here is medium-thin, smooth, with a relatively low viscosity. It coats nicely.

It worked well with our kale and cabbage salad. I think Sonia liked it a little more than I did. $3.69 for 12oz. Organic. Don't consume before taking a drug test. We're on the fence about a repeat purchase. Four stars from Sonia, three from me for Trader Joe's Organic Poppy Seed Dressing.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Vegan Nacho Dip

A little about me: I had severe allergies to wheat, milk, and sugar all through my childhood. I was deprived of the vast majority of foods that my friends and classmates got to eat on a regular basis. I was treated with daily allergy shots, often administering them to myself, and have now, for the most part, outgrown those food allergies, though I still suffer from some mild to moderate sensitivities, namely to gluten, while my wife Sonia has some mild to moderate lactose intolerance.

All through those years of food allergies, my parents did what they could to provide alternatives: goat milk or soy milk instead of cow's milk, rice bread or millet bread instead of wheat bread, NutraSweet and later stevia instead of sugar, and so on. There weren't any Trader Joe's or Whole Foods around, so our options were pretty limited. Fortunately, there were a few mom and pop's "health food" stores and some local farms that offered foods that were hard to find at typical mainstream grocery stores.

I'm actually somewhat grateful for those years of having an extremely limited diet. First, because it taught me to more fully appreciate those very common foods that most people take for granted. Second, because it forced me to broaden my horizons early. There were certain things that I discovered during those years that I would still eat and do still eat now: Rice Dream or coconut-based ice cream, for example. I still generally love things made with rice flour, too.

But there are also alternative foods that I tried back then that were so awful in my opinion that I would have rather just done without any version of said food. Sugar-free carob chips come to mind. Some might argue: "Well, Nathan, you can't have real chocolate chips, so you'll have to eat sugar-free carob!"

But then that argument doesn't make sense at all, does it? I would much rather give up on both chocolate chips and their disgusting alternative at that point.

All that to say when I review things that are dairy-free or gluten-free or sugar-free or whatever, I'm reviewing it from the perspective of a little boy who will happily try almost anything, but will then share his genuine opinion of that thing. I will not sacrifice honesty for the sake of people who might have a different opinion of a particular product. If you disagree with my assessment of an item, feel free to post your opinion as a comment on the blog or our social media, but don't accuse me of lacking "compassion" and "gratitude" because my viewpoint is different than yours. Every reviewer brings his or her own bias to the table to some degree, and I'm no different.

And along those lines, this product falls squarely into that sugar-free carob category. If I were strictly vegan or still allergic to milk, I would happily do without real nacho cheese dip AND this cashew-based alternative...because it's simply not good.

For the record: I like cashews. I also generally like anything nacho cheese flavored. But from the moment I peeled back the plastic covering, there was an off-putting smell. It was a kind of foot-esque odor, strong enough to make me wince. There was something vaguely nacho-ish about the smell, but nothing suggesting nacho cheese dip.

After heating, the smell was more heavily nacho than feet, but it still wasn't particularly pleasant. Taking a bite with an unsalted tortilla chip, there was a moment where the dip was just a flavorless mush. Then a moment later, there was a wash of vague nacho spice. Sonia's experience was very similar. The condiment never even came close to approximating the richness or creaminess of real nacho cheese, and there's just not enough spice to cover up the product's weaknesses.

Texture-wise, it seemed oddly thick and pasty, maybe a little oily. Sonia said it reminded her of toothpaste. I don't disagree, although the texture and appearance are both a notch more impressive than the flavor if you ask me.

I'll throw out one star for that reason. Sonia will go with a generous two for Trader Joe's Vegan Nacho Dip, pointing out that it might conceivably work as a minor ingredient in a grand mishmash of southwestern style foods. We'll most likely take advantage of Trader Joe's outstanding no hassle return policy and get our $3.99 back on this one.

Bottom line: 3 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ranch Seasoning Blend

Did you know that you don't need to shake a shaker? It's true. It's amazing what you can learn while surfing the interwebs. You just hold the shaker in place while upside down and rotate the plastic covering with the holes back and forth. Or hold the plastic covering in place and rotate the shaker itself. The salt or pepper or, in this case ranch powder, just falls right out...much more evenly than if you shake it, I might add. It was one of those "my whole life has been a lie" moments for me. So there you go. That's a free life hack just for reading this blog.

Another life hack: put this stuff on popcorn. Ranch popcorn. You're welcome. Why isn't ranch popcorn a thing? Well, actually, I suppose it is. But why isn't it more popular? I dunno. As I'm writing this paragraph, I'm realizing it says "sprinkle on popcorn" on the front of the label. I guess Trader Joe's beat me to it.

Pro tip: the more buttery your popcorn is, the better this seasoning will stick to it.

To be honest, ranch isn't really my thing. It's definitely not my go-to as far as salad dressing is concerned. I'm not big into hot wings or anything like that. In the upper midwest, they give out ranch with freaking everything. At some bar/grills around here, they give you ranch with French fries. I'm always like, "Um...have you ever heard of ketchup?"

But I digress. Ranch has its place. It's great as a veggie dip with carrots and celery and broccoli, although this powder doesn't really work in that application. I bet you could mix it with some sour cream and create a makeshift ranch dip. The side of the shaker actually has a recipe for "Creamy Buttermilk Ranch Dressing" involving mayo and buttermilk but I bet it would be just as good using only sour cream and this seasoning, a la those Hidden Valley seasoning packets.

It might just be me, but I felt this ranch flavor was particularly potent, almost spicy even. There's plenty of garlic, onion, dill, and pepper taste in addition to the creamy buttermilk. I'm thinking you could use this on baked potatoes, fish, poultry, or other meats. Anybody have any other crazy ideas? Love to hear about them in the comments.

We both liked it and would buy it again. $2.99 for the shaker. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Ranch Seasoning Blend.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Date Syrup

Ah, the Deglet Noor date. So much deglettier than regular dates. They provide so much noorishment, those fancy DNDs. I'm being facetious, of course. I don't know much about dates, but you can click that link in the first line if you want to read a post that demonstrates at least a passing knowledge of a couple date species, as well as a brief review of a previous Trader Joe's date product.

I'm not sure why I was thinking the syrup would be clear and thin, similar to agave, but it's quite dark and somewhat thicker than I assumed. It looks very much like chocolate syrup or balsamic reduction.

The flavor is super sweet, but it's distinctly different than most sweeteners. To me, it's not a completely neutral flavor. It really tastes like dates. So it's fruity in that sense. But it's also a "dark" sweetness, more similar to molasses in a way than plain old sugar or something like Karo. Neither Sonia nor I particularly like molasses, but we both like this. It's like...what we always wished molasses would taste like...if that makes sense.

It worked great as a sweetener in our smoothies. We've been putting a bit of honey in them as of late, but this functions pretty much in the same manner. There is that deep, dark, almost caramel-like flavor to the date syrup, so it enhances the taste of the fruits and juices even more.

I won't say it's a replacement for good old maple syrup. I don't think there's anything you could put on a pancake or waffle that's hands down better than real maple. But if you wanna mix things up a little, this stuff sure isn't bad in that regard. The pic up above is Trader Joe's Organic Date Syrup on a piece of French toast. It was pretty tasty. Not better than maple syrup. Just different. I'm always down for a bit of novelty, but I think I'll return to the old standby for my next stack of flapjacks.

$3.49 for a 6.09 oz squeeze bottle. There's nothing but organic Deglet Noor dates in there. Pretty impressive product. Trader Joe's Organic Date Syrup gets four stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tamarind Sauce

Not all that long ago, the beautiful wifey made a comment about craving tamarind sauce with another Trader Joe's product we reviewed. The comment struck me as totally random at the time, but at least part of my reaction was due to my general disdain for tamarind-flavored things.

I've had tamarind candy, tamarind soda, and even tamarind-flavored vodka. In each case, I thought it was kinda gross. Sonia grew up with such treats...well, okay, not the vodka, but the tamarind candy and beverages are something she's totally accustomed to. I think it's a Mexican thing.

To me, this sauce isn't a far cry from steak sauce, flavor-wise, but perhaps a bit more versatile. It's a bit thinner than A1 and other leading brands and perhaps a tad sweeter, but both types of sauces are tart, tangy, citrusy, and have an interesting blend of peppery spices underneath it all. This tamarind sauce is almost like a slightly fruitier version of Worcestershire sauce.

I don't think the average American wants A1-flavored candy or steak sauce soda, do you? But in its proper context as a condiment for meat, it's perfectly tasty. I'd say the same for tamarind, personally.

This sauce worked well with salmon, providing the same sort of sweet-tart element you might get from teriyaki sauce. It also went great with grilled chicken. I'm sure it would work well with white fish or shrimp. I don't eat steak very often, but I'd absolutely use it in place of A1 or Worcestershire.

It pours a deep, dark brown—almost like used motor oil. But because it's so relatively thin, it doesn't coat very well, and you can go through a lot of it quite quickly. I think it was $2.99 for about 7 oz.

We're both down for another purchase. Four stars from me. Four and a half from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Incredisauce

It's really too bad that I seem to only get cravings for Chick-Fil-A on Sundays. Because...well...you know. 

But hey! Now I can skip the equally unfathomably long and quick drive thru lines and dip my tendies any time I want, close my eyes, and fool myself into thinking it's the real deal (or close enoguh to it) by busting out the new Trader Joe's Incredisauce!

Make no mistake: just as it was pretty clear that TJ's was taking on In-N-Out with the ol' Magnifisauce, it's obvious who the new target is. Superman's disembodied hand is holding a nugget there, after all.

And if you've ever had the Chick-Fil-A dipping sauce, this TJ's one is really pretty close. It's mustard based, primarily, but with oil and egg whites mixed in for some extra may-liciios body, There's tomato paste and garlic and onion and apple cider vinegar and...well, you can read the ingredients yourself, but it's almost not necessary as each are equally taste-able. It feels like cheating to just rehash the product's own description, but a little sweet, kind atnagy, and definitely smoky are all pretty apt descriptors. The real difference I could taste was the smokiness - seems amped more in the Incredisauce than the Chick-Fil-A if I'm recalling things correctly. 

Nutritionally speaking, this stuff is a disaster though. Added sugar. Soybean oil. All that salt. I mean, everything in moderation, so make out of that as you will. I'll try not to dunk and slather as tempting as that would be. 

Can't quite get the best pic of the ingredients and nutrition label - it's all pretty small - so here's the info from the official TJ's website. 

It's $3.29 for the bottle and should last you a while. Not a bad deal at all. Would definitely buy again any day, and maybe twice on Sundays. Double fours. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Incredisauce: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Pesto Rosso

I'm not a fan of traditional pesto. For years, I thought it was one of the spices used in the mixture that turned me off, but some time ago, I realized that most regular pestos use pine nuts as a base. Pine nuts have always revolted me for some reason. Sure enough, every non-pine nut-based pesto I've tried since has been a thumbs up for me, this one included.

It's tomato-based, and there's parmesan cheese, cashew, and carrot puree in the mix. The spice blend includes basil, garlic, and lemon juice. It's an interesting flavor—sorta tangy, savory, and acrid, with hints of nuttiness and earthiness underneath. Goes well with pasta. There are some other serving suggestions on the jar that we haven't tried yet, including pizza and soup.

The sauce is thick and dense. Just a few spoonfuls are enough to coat a surprising amount of pasta. It's mostly smooth. No chunks of anything in there, although it's somewhat lumpy until you distribute it evenly across many pieces of pasta.

$2.49 for the jar. Would go great with crackers and cheese. We'd maybe buy it again to have on standby with a charcuterie board or something fancy like that, but I don't think it would ever be a day-to-day go-to kind of condiment for me. Although, I kinda wanna make grilled cheese with fontina, gruyere, or havarti and pair it with this. Maybe goat cheese?

Product of Italy. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green & Red Hatch Chile Flakes

 

Hatch chiles. So hot right now. 

Well...not precisely, actually. 

See, there's the new Trader Joe's Green & Red Hatch Chile Flakes. So yeah, there's likely a small buzz about the peppers of the Gods on TJ's related social media and little bloggies like ours. Not a bad thing at all. 

But, well, if you're not overly familiar with hatch chiles, first of all, they're not in season right now - their heyday seems to be late summer/early fall AKA pumpkin spice season - and second, well, hatch chiles aren't really all that hot or spicy. 

Hatch chiles deliver more on a sweet/smoky/little touch of heat level, in ways I've never directly experienced but have had others describe as absolutely transcendent. I'm not getting that out of the shaker here. Sweet, mild, little smoke, a little heat? Sure, and a welcome change up from the usual crushed red pepper flakes. Out of body/out of world experience? Nah. Maybe save that for the Hatch Harvest festivities that go on at peak season from what I hear. 

Use them as you'd use any pepper sprinkle - eggs, pizza, soup, salad, veggies, meat, anything that could use a little oomph - and it's nice for TJ's to offer a versatile condiment that help convey at least a fraction of the whole hatch experience. I'm not in love but I certainly won't mind getting these on the regular when available. Tasty flakes. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Green & Red Hatch Chile Flakes: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Wine Infused Sea Salt Seasoning Grinder

For years, my grandmother's side of the family would gather all together for Thanksgiving. It was (and still is) a pretty big crew...enough great uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews, whatever else that we would have to rent an auditorium at a local campground to fit all 70+ plus of us. Huge. Overwhelming. And awesome. It was tradition for each family to bring things, with a whole system worked up by my great uncles and aunts, and it would be tradition for any newlyweds to bring only things like some butter, salt, or at most a veggie tray. You had to earn the right to bring dessert or a turkey. 

Anyways, though we no longer gather together like that any more, and my lovely bride and I aren't exactly newlyweds any more either after our recent double digit anniversary, I really wonder what would have happened if we were ever to be entrusted with bringing salt and pepper, and brought in something like Trader Joe's Wine Infused Sea Salt Seasoning Grinder. 

Probably some of my more conservatively minded aunts would be concerned if the wine in the salt would make them drunk. Probably a few of my uncles would hope it would. Of course, that wouldn't happen...and I'd like to think everyone there would realize it...but there'd be a stir regardless. Russ and Sandy, with their fancy salt. With booze in it. There'd be stories to tell from it, no doubt. 

Anyways, for a big fancy salt grinder, this ain't bad. It's real simple yet somewhat elegantly composed of sea salt infused with rosé, mixed with pink peppercorns and a touch of rosemary. those components all add a nice little savory touch that puts a little extra taste in other than just plain ol' salt. Subtle and nice. i like it. 

Could easily see some sprinkled atop some roasted turkey or stuffing or veggies or whatever else you may want to sprinkle some salt on. Given the rosemary, I'm not sure it'd be a good match for anything going for a salty/sweet combo, like some type of dessert....but as always, I could be wrong. It's only $4.99 for this banana-sized salt grinder too, so I have a feeling we'll have this a while. 

Here's to hoping you and yours have a Happy Thanksgiving. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Wine Infused Sea Salt Seasoning Grinder: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Indian Style Garlic Achaar Sauce

Why is Indian food so delicious? I don't think I've ever had an Indian dish I didn't like. My hypothesis: it's the spices and sauces.

This tasty new Trader Joe's brand condiment lends credence to that theory. It's piquant, potent, and fabulously flavorsome. However, I have to share the following: while re-familiarizing myself with achaar sauce via internet search, I came across another popular jarred garlic achaar sauce: Brooklyn Delhi. First of all, that's a freaking brilliant play on words—not a Brooklyn deli like a delicatessen, but Delhi like the city in India. Ha! I love it.

Anyway, I mused for a moment about whether Brooklyn Delhi could possibly be Trader Joe's third party supplier of their own achaar. No sooner had the thought entered my mind when I stumbled across a tweet from the founder of Brooklyn Delhi calling Trader Joe's offering a "cheap, watered-down knock-off" of her version. 

All I have to say is DANG, girl, if this stuff is watered-down, then your roasted garlic achaar sauce must be absolutely life-changing and I must try it as soon as I can get my hands on some.

Because "watered-down" was the phrase farthest from my mind when I first tried this product. It's so rich and flavorful. It's super garlicky, but there are also hot chili spices and a deep, earthy bite that's so unique. We put it on naan bread with some eggs and garlic-flavored goat cheese. Fan-freaking-tastic. It's honestly quite noshable with nothing but bread—the eggs and cheese just made it a complete meal.

This would go great with chicken, fish, shrimp, fries, appetizers...honestly it's probably easier to list things it wouldn't go with than things it potentially could. I wouldn't try it with desserts, I guess. It would ruin ice cream or cake, I suppose.

I'm excited to experiment with it. $2.69 for the jar. It's not a huge jar, but a little goes a long way. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheesy Seasoning Blend

 Growing up, if were gonna have broccoli, my mom would almost always take a huge chunk of Velveeta, toss it into a large Pyrex glass measuring cup, likely add a little milk, and nuke it to make an ooey-gooey cheese sauce for all us kids to drown our veggies in. 

Man. The mere thought of that these days makes pretty much every major body system of mine feel clogged. Awesome for a kid? Sure thing! Don't blame my mama one bit. But now? Not so much. 

Still, cheese goes so great with veggies...there has to be a better way...maybe like the new Trader Joe's Cheesy Seasoning Blend? 

This cheesy sprinkle actually works pretty decently, and packs more of a cheesy punch than expected. Is it a cheese or is it a spice? Or is enough of each to be both? I'm not smart enough to say with all certainty.

But anyways even a light sprinkle on some roasted broccoli gave those trees some cheese to please. I swear it tasted like perhaps i sprinkled a little actual cheese on there, not so much from the globby melty sense but just in the pure flavor sense. Very nice and sharply cheddarific, with a little hint of garlic to boot. Delish. Like it.

I can definitely see this working on more than just veggies, of course. popcorn is an absolute no brainer. Some saldas and pastas and maybe even on pizza could work. Soups too. Or buttered bread. or...well..you get the point. Very little would be better of without a little hit of cheddar. 

And as an added bonus, you know how sprinkle cheese can get all melty then glues itself on dishes? not the case here. As the main dinnertime dish handler in the fam, that's an automatic win.

My lovely bride, our ever-so-charming rugrats and I all liked it. Yeah, we'll be using this a lot. Decent enough - not earth shattering but solid. Double fours cuz why not. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cheesy Seasoning Blend: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Trader Joe's Sweet & Savory Lightly Spiced Pumpkin Spread

So technically pumpkin's a fruit, right? The experts say so anyway. And we know we're supposed to accept the opinions of the experts and not really rock the boat with dissenting opinions these days.

So my question is: why isn't this "pumpkin fruit spread." Hmmm? All the other fruits like pineapple, apple, watermelon, strawberry, banana, and peach all got "fruit spread" as part of their condiments' monikers.

Maybe it's because some people don't accept pumpkin as a fruit and think of it more as a vegetable. So why isn't it "pumpkin vegetable spread"? Maybe there's an unfair bias against pumpkins.

Or maybe Trader Joe's just didn't want to open that can of worms and start an all-out war between those who think of pumpkin as a vegetable and those who think of pumpkin as a fruit. They just decided to sit on the fence and let you the consumer decide. Not pumpkin fruit spread. Not pumpkin vegetable spread. Just pumpkin spread.

Whether fruit or vegetable or both or neither, the packaging on this product is fun. Kinda rustic and farmer's market-esque. There are at least a couple elements that are totally unnecessary and simply for show. I guess they're channeling that homemade and put in a Mason jar sorta vibe.

Opening the jar, the smell is...unique. It's almost like honey...mixed with an odd gourd-like smell. Like it actually smells like when you're carving a jack-o-lantern and you have the pumpkin guts all over newspapers on the floor and you're pulling the seeds out of the wet, stringy innards of the pumpkin. Like that—and honey.

Pumpkin is the number one ingredient here. There's actually no honey in the mix, but I'm guessing cane sugar yields a sweetness comparable to that of honey. This isn't a spoon it out of the jar type spread here in my opinion. It needs to be mixed and tempered with other foods and ingredients in order to be palatable. The jar suggests eating it with cheeses, cold cuts, roasted meats, or vegetables.

We tried it with crackers and goat cheese and it sorta kinda worked I guess. We tried it with turkey cold cuts and that wasn't really a winner, either. I guess I'm just struggling to find a purpose for this condiment. I need a pumpkin spread pairing wheel like they do with wines and stuff here. The suggestions on the jar are too vague.

Still it's an interesting product, not hampered by an excess of pumpkin spices or cloying, unchecked sweetness. I can't decide if I like the chunks of raw actual pumpkin floating throughout the mixture or if I think they're gross. Time will tell. For now, I give this stuff two and a half stars. Sonia will go a full star higher with three and a half.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.